/lit/ - Literature

>>12045562
Do plays count towards my Goodreads reading challenge? What is a book, anyway?

>>12045565
>my Goodreads reading challenge?

I was reading about paradoxes on Wikipedia because that sweet sweet browser narcotic, and as I was reading about the Abilene paradox, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abilene_paradox)), I got to thinking about the story of Spartacus. Each of his companions claimed they were themselves Spartacus as a sign of solidarity (and perhaps to keep the real one safe), but in the end they all got crucified, which is counterproductive to the whole "keeping the revolution alive" idea. Would the counterproductive self-sacrifice of Spartacus' companions be an example of the consequences of the Abilene paradox, an example of groupthink, or something else entirely?

>>12045590
As long as it's exclusively for personal use it's alright.

I feel stuck right now. I have a few injuries and troubles that have lingered for months, and which have been very slow to heal. I've been trying to find a good job, one that makes use of my particular talents, and I can't seem to land anything. I've gotten a few poems published this year, but in the last few months I haven't had any publications, just a bunch of rejections.

It feels like I'm in a rut on multiple levels of my life. I don't know how to get moving again; I keep trying things, but they're not effective.

>>12045562
Why am I always let down ?
I'm so pissed right now I want to punch someone.

To me NEETdom is purification through pain. I've learned a lot about myself and my priorities over the last year but it's come at cost I might never recover from. When people talk about their jobs I find it hard to sympathize or understand. Reality seems to be slowly slipping away.

>>12045562
Tomorrow I've nothing to do so I'll stay up all night reading The Epic of Gilgamesh and listening to some black metal.

Out of nowhere she has stopped talking to me, from every single day to nothing at all.
No idea why, don't think I did anything.
I see she removed me on a few different things.

And so my problem of not having a single person remain in my life for longer than 2 years continues. Just a revolving door of people who don't care about me

>>12045590
Charcoal poisoning looks comfy as fuck to be desu

Where do you buttpirate books that are too shitty and/or obscure to be on libgen?

I'm feeling good for the first time in years. I don't know why, nothing in my life has changed, but i hope it lasts.

>>12045761
Check private trackers/request it and then if not just buy the book

>>12045675
She’s a whore, I got over my deep existential dread that most of our generation faces by converting to Islam even though I’m the whitest kid on the block with blonde hair and blue eyes I became friends with a bunch of bosnians and Albanians and we all thot patrol around the block.

Why is the X-Files intro so spooky? The part with the silhouette falling and the hand print is frightening in such a peculiar way. I've never seen anything like it.

>>12045565
Yes, of course.

>>12045822
Is there any literature that's ss comfy as the X-Files first four seasons?

I would sooner go to Africa with an AK and a pick axe to mine my own diamonds than be enslaved to debt for the expected ring of marriage. At least then, it will mean much more than converting my trivial labor of stacking boxes into some prism of carbon. I'd rather take the chance and dodge bullets from niggers than beg some shit head in a suit who has never done harsh labor in his life to bargain for a reasonable price. If I die, then it wasn't meant to be.

>you should check 4chan
What's on my mind whenever I try to write anything.

>>12045868
Write about it

>>12045562
I'm not depressed for the first time in years and my mother can only suspect I'm doing some sort of drug.
Now I'm sad again

>>12045894
my mind just told me this anon's a grade A fairy

>>12045935
What about you tell your mind to put you in a coma .

Absolutely despise the modern world
Completely despise liberalism
Totally despise Americans. I cannot emphasize this enough.

The dumbest fucking people on the face of the planet, 330 million morons with pigshit between their ears who are fundamentally incapable of thinking about anything beyond feeling good and stuffing their faces in the trough

I've noticed that critics of America will often couch their language as being critical of the state, not the nation or people themselves.

This is cowardly and deeply wrong. The state is a direct extension of the people, and its evil behavior is a direct extension of Americans' fundamental evil and base nature. When we stumble ass first into a geopolitical conflict, when we accidentally dronestrike some 80 IQ goatfucker's wedding, it is very much an act that "WE" Americans ALL engaged in by virtue of our collective stupidity and vileness

Obese pink slime corn syrup slurping mongrel cattle, SSRI mass shooting debt slave pornographic retards. This country needs a nuclear holocaust, and a painful one at that, an extremely painful holocaust that destroys millions of petty lives and wallets and children.

Fuck this gay earth

>>12045562
When I went out to my car this morning I found a fine layer of snow on the ground. The snow thrust me back to recent winters past. When I had friends and a Significant other, and I was comfortable around people. Now I don't speak much. I am too scared to speak with anyone new. The suicidal thoughts return as the grey skies do the same. I've had them for so long I honestly forgot having them at all is a red flag.

Also, the guitar riff towards the end of 'The Flammable Man' is pretty good. It sounds like the end of the world.

>>12045562
I'm a stupid fuck who thought he was intelligent but I'm slowly starting to realise my vocabulary is very much small and my basic literacy is very much wrong.
Also, I didn't think surf rock was that good but I'm slowly coming around to its appeal

>>12046091
Highly redpilled. I tip my hat to you.

I hate modern technology very deeply, yet I am a slave to it (which makes me hate it even more).

>>12046091
Your words truly resonate with me
Also t. Europoor

I've come to utterly despise this site in the past year. It has been on an obvious decline since ~2014 but at this point it has truly come to a head. There has been a legitimate shift from humorous self-deprication to outright spite and outrage farming. The general intelligence and age of posters has reached a critical low, not to mention the literal infestation of /pol. I used to hold out hope that I could weather the storm of garbage but it is becoming increasingly clear to me that this site is too infected, too despoiled to save. I've slowly seen boards I legitimately enjoyed lost to shitposting and cultural lobotomy and this really is the tipping point where I'm sick of it. I dont even enjoy lurking anymore, I can open pretty much any thread and scroll down through 200+ of empty insults thrown back and forth like this is a fucking high school cafeteria. My utter despair comes from not knowing where to go. Reddit is utterly banal and simply doesnt generate content as quickly. Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram are a chore to browse and lack the amount of discussion allowed. I feel like a nomad without anywhere to travel. Just slowly sitting on a sand dune waiting for the wind to bury me because it's endless desert in every direction.

>>12046091
Reminds me of what's-his-name from Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

>>12046128
>expecting people to act seriously on the internet
Go suck a dick FFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Didn’t get a good job offer so far and the application period is almost over. I don’t know if I’m going to graduate in time and, if I do, it will probably be with the shittiest grades this university has ever seen. At least I’m rich and well connected, so I think I will be all right.
Also, Kate started texting me again. I’m going to try to use my connections to get a job in her city next summer so we can see each other.
I’m also enjoying the shit out of Wild Swans.

>>12046128
I agree fully. I've been coming here for at least 12 years now (probably more, but I don't want to entertain that thought), and the only thing that keeps me coming back is the hope that one time I'll see it how it used to be. I think though that the culture has changed at a fundamental level, and as such there wont be anything that recaptures that old atmosphere without being a LARP.

>>12045562
I cringe at the thought of falling in love and being in a relationship.

>>12046128
I am honestly just waiting for people like you to leave, youre the most annoying part of the site, acting liek a fucking image board is some bastion of culture you have lost, crying about the supposed decline of 4chan, God just off yourself

>>12046159
Bear in mind that you changed at least as much as the site has, newfren

>>12046128
>help, help! immigrants have fundamentally changed the culture of my home forever!
fuck off Nazi

>>12046141
It's funny that this is the first response I get, because "taking shit too seriously" is exactly why I've come to hate this place. We can no longer just have fun anymore. Expressing appreciation for anything is cringe. Expressing an opinion on anything opens up a deluge of shitflinging. Every thread ends in raging about politics. Every board is inundated with undisguised rallying for or against bullshit. And anyone who even suggests that maybe we stop being such pugnacious cunts all the time gets the same response "it's just shitposting dude I'm totally not angry about anything and everything"

>>12046193
>see a lot of negativity
>I know ill add to it
THis is you lad
this is also me

we vicious circle now

>>12046159
The culture has changed so fucking much. It happened gradually until about 2015, when the website took a nosedive. From desu, zyzz and boxxy to racists, incels, and larpers. What a shift

>>12046206
we are literally just waiting for you to leave nobody wants you here anymore

>>12045562
I don't enjoy posting here anymore but it helps me practice writing in english and doing it anoonymously.
Wonder where the oldfags went, maybe they killed themselves or grew out of this place.

>>12045562
I want to read the Metamorphosis by Kafka but legitimately cannot even bring myself to buy it because the plot makes me nauseated. You see, when i was very young i had this extremely irrational yet disturbing fear. I feared than when night came and everyone were sleeping, all of my family members would disgustingly transform into gigantic spiders and praying mantises and then proceed to eat me alive. That idea kept frightened me so much that i would lose hours of sleep every night.
When i first learned the plot of the book this specific fear was instantly remembered and whenever i think about it i cringe from the disgust and uncomfort i feel.

>>12046237
No worries anon the bug dies in the story so good ending for everyone

>just realized new election starts in like half a year

For the past year I ate very simply, just things like chicken, sausage, rice, bread, pasta, etc. One meal a day, in the evening. Only seasoned with salt, maybe a couple other spices if I was feeling inclined. Never ate out beyond shitty dominos pizza. A month ago I decided to stop being a brainlet and eat more properly, and holy fuck I have a completely new appreciation for food. I'm so happy just to eat some cheese, or have jam with my bread, or have an apple, or a plum, or some caramelized onions. You don't realize how good these things are until you've been without them.

I still eat fairly ascetically though, I just can't break the habit. Still just one main meal in the evenings, I've managed to add a small meal in late morning but that's it. I want to try to eat more so I can get gains in the gym because right now I'm (despite being fairly strong) a skeleton from living at a calorie deficit for a year or more. It's hard though, feels gluttonous.

>>12046255
How anyone can look at America and their state of continual campaigning and not conclude that it's a society completely rotted by spectacle is beyond me

I try to keep myself from being driven to irrational anger over shit I see online, but I have relapses more often than I'd like.
I want to be an optimist to the end, but it's so hard.
It's completely infantile, but escaping into my own worlds is one of the few things that truly brings me joy. I feel like a manchild every time I realize just how happy I am to write a short story about a kid on some sort of journey or even just describing a storm.

>>12046128
>>12046193
>it's endless desert in every direction.
This isn't the only chan, you know. Do a little bit of looking around and you might stumble across an oasis.

>>12045562
isnt it ironic
that the only thing that needs us
is the very system of financial fiat currency enslavement we are slaves of
that it is not just what is keeping us alive for passive consumption and expense justification but also
that it is the only thing that can explain why we are still alive and have lived through the period when we were and are the least needed.
for indeed the most dangerous thing is to not be needed.
it is almost as if a benevolent albeit desperate deity
surmised "let them not be culled, let them survive
until their imagination will finally be of value"

>>12046193
Yeah, but on 4chan there's nothing stopping you from abandoning the shitty arguments and moving on. Twitter's the real narcissism trap where you're forced to endlessly engage in the negativity, rather than skimming it.

I don't like your post or thread man, but I'mma go ignore it now and thirty seconds later we could be bantering in the next thread, and none of what we're saying really matters except as much as we choose to engage with it. That seems pretty comfy vs Twitter where I'd have to go to the effort of critiquing you, and then you'd have to go to the effort of critiquing me, both of us trying to save face because of who might read it.

>>12046226
Oldfag here. I’ve grown out, except for sometimes. Lit used to be a little oasis, but now it’s a polluted swamp. Unfortunately there’s no place left to go for those who are passionate for literature, except for the occasional goodreads community, though those have the briefest of shelf lives.

>>12046396
it makes me lol how the people discussing lit's decline post on fucking goodreads

>>12046166
This is what irony has done to us, we have these pathetic wretches who think the mere idea of love is "cringe".

>>12046217
As it happened to me, it will also happen to you. Enjoy the zoomer culture

>get ready to get out of bus
>the bus stop I'm supposed to get out at is being repaired or some shit
>bus driver hollers at me and tells me he'll stop at the next one
>I yell back 'no problem'
>have been replaying the situation in my mind ever since
This was a normal interaction, right? Or did I do something autistic? I don't feel right about it.

>>12046505
you did nothing wrong but the fact that you think you did sort of retroactively makes it autistic

>>12046505
Sounds pretty normal

>>12046505
jesus fucking christ anon

>>12046505
Stop loving people so much. You think you made the bus driver cringe but you don't think about how cringy you look when you make autistic posts on 4chan, because you don't care about yourself but about others, which puts you at the top of the biggest pussies in the world. Realise how much of a piece of shit everyone really is and you'll stop feeling sorry for them. I don't even know how the fuck you think you're in the position to feel sorry for someone, when you're the guy that brings everyone's mood down when you enter a room. So what if you had an awkard moment? Everyone has them. You want to get over them? You can't. Or maybe you can, if you inflict physical pain on yourself and tell yourself that you'll keep hurting yourself if you don't stop caring about useless shit. For that, I work out till failure or chew raw onions or garlic or hot peppers until I cry myself to sleep.

>>12046166

Do we really need to hit that point where we grow up? Where we need to have ambitions? Where we need to support someone other than ourselves?

It was an accident, sure, but I can accept and live with that. When we live comfortably right now do I really need to raise my ambition bar higher before the arrival or can it not just wait?

Why is there so much pressure on me to grow up when I've been doing fine up until now? I want to marry her and not her family. Maybe if I stop posting on 4chan I can make that first step.

>>12046091
>it's the same assblasted anti-American poster who always rants in these threads

Nice to see you again anon

Glad to see we are living rent free in your mind, enjoy your shithole country.

>>12045562
I don't think I want to be online anymore, but I don't know where else to go. I grew up online, this is like a second home to me. All my friends are here. It's gradually become this thing I don't recognize, though. It's exhausting, it's negative, it's cynical and I've just done all of this. This isn't fun for me anymore, but I hate being offline, too. I get bored too easily. I think I might just dislike people, but I need to be around them. It's a need not a want.

I'm so tired of The Discourse and "cringe culture" and shit like that. I'm just tired. I don't like this anymore. I guess this isn't my internet anymore, it's whatever the new generation's is and I just need to get out of the way. This is their adventure, just like it was mine. I just don't know where to go really

>>12045565
a book is a collection of paper (digital or physical) containing words and or images.

>>12046091
Is it really THAT much different in other parts of the world?

I see people on the subway and at stations so completely distracted by their phones every morning that I often wonder if they have all just used their eyes to fully plug into the internet at all times. I sit there and scoff at them while I read my book but then I realise I'm doing practically the same thing. In fact I'm doing worse than the same thing because - while they are probably reading up on the latest goings on, or at the very least checking out what other people in the actual world are up to - I'm sitting on the train completely fixated in a completely made-up world with fictional people and nothing actually happening. I'm just as focused on my paper and ink as they are to their windows to the world. But then I realise the problem we all have is that we aren't looking at each other or taking notice of the old man over there who needs a seat and the whole world is just completely fucked with everyone lost in their own something. Then I think they're probably just playing silly computer games or listening to the latest shitty pop music video and it makes me feel a bit happier about myself.

I have only wrote 300 words of a degenerate mommy gf story even tho i look at mommy gf porn constantly. Im starting to think i don't write what i like, but i want my stories to be read by someone... and i can't show them how degenerate i am.

Just occurred to me that i should post in erotic forums but i hate the online communities.

>>12046637
Not that anon but it really is, it's startling the first time you leave America and you realize the average non-american is infinitely more sensible and wordly than the average burger. That's not to say they're geniuses, though the americans certainly can make it appear that way.

How could I act normal in a loving relationship when my parents never displayed love to each other.

>>12046667
Ive never been to America, but Ive been to Canada, the UK, Germany, and France, and almost everybody in all these countries is simply retarded

The average human is a pitiful fucking thing and i dont care how this post makes me sound

>>12046595
Same desu. I'm a younger poster (early 20's) so I didn't really experience the "golden age" of the net, but even I've noticed how things have been deteriorating. It feels like the internet is now just a few huge social media sites fed by masses of shitty "journalists" and "content creators", and its only going to get worse as the kids who have had smartphones their whole lives grow up and become the primary userbase and governments continue trying to regulate it. The old users and clingers on such as myself are just waiting for death.

>>12046166

>>12046643
if it makes you feel any better the "news" and shit their reading about is just as inconsequential as your knights and dragons

>>12046595
>>12046683
oldfag who was alive before the internet here, it's nice to know there are at least a few young people who are also tired of this shit. The internet really has shrunk, I hope that you are able to find a place on, and offline that you can be happy.

>>12046595
It's incredibly banal, but I've found that filling your day up with hobbies really helps. You just constantly have to give yourself something to do.
I now only participate in online communities when I have half an hour to kill and I just ignore most of the shit I see. It stopped being an active part of my life I constantly indulge in.
It's a bit lonely, but there's no going back to how it was so you might as well get used to it.

I'm thinking about karma lately.

do you guys believe in karma? any book for this?

>>12046193
cringe

>>12046676
stop acting.be real.

>>12046396
oldfag here as well, this conversation has been going on for years. Bullshit. It got worse with the fucking legion of bucko boys.

>>12045782
I got over mine by fucking waitresses and writing awful scifi

>>12046091
Hey fuck you pal youre not invited to the barbecue this year

>tfw too many ideas for stories
>tfw can't commit

I hate my life and I'm watching The Incredibles 2.

I like little kids. Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean I enjoy giving kids pleasure. Etch, I'm having a hard time wording myself right now.

Kids have such a spiritedness and transparency to their natures that sometimes brings out the purest and best in humanity. Something sets children apart from adults. As if they hear some kind of all pervading ancestral call and closeness to experience and adults hide that sound, or block it out, or become deaf to it.

I enjoy little boys. Their raucous, wild aspect, their giddy fascination with everything that wins their curiosity, their innate love of adventure and mushrooms and ghosts and monsters and dirt. It's all quite fun and reminds me of how I once was. I imagine parents must get a double dose of this sort of whimsical vicarious reliving.

Little girls give me a tickle. Their sweetness, kindness, and simple interests and daydreams make me happy. I don't know too many little girls at this point in my life and I think it will be a while before I will. All my cousins grew up.

Despite coming to the conclusion that kids can be endearing, I don't think I want to raise any. It trips me out to think about the concept of parenting. The responsibility of a human being's development and mental and physical well being. It's terrifying to me in a way, but it is also the most regular thing of them all that has been done billions of times in the past. It's just altogether strange all while remaining the most ordinary fact of many, if not most people's lives.

I'm starting to dislike my roommate. At first I thought it would be cool since he's an international student from Western Europe and I expected him to have something neat to him and good manners, but instead he pisses on the seat and his friends come over often and hearing them shout excitedly through the walls in their accents is getting tiring. Not to mention every few nights they all gather to watch movies in the central room and if I have to leave my room for any reason they stare awkwardly as I make my way through. I mean, that's not really that bad. The real reason I'm irritated is that two nights ago, I was having a conversation with him about the U.S. election when suddenly some girl burst into the room and right away he reverted to one-word monotone replies to get me to fuck off.

I don't dislike all normalfags, I promise. It just sort of bothers me seeing someone who's handsome and currently having the time of his life when it seems he did nothing to obtain this but fall into it by chance. I dunno, call me an incel if you want, but it's a natural observation, and it applies to all of life. I'm sure he's an okay person though.

My greatest mistake in life, was to ever allow myself to believe, even for a second, that someone would EVER willingly or consciously desire or love me, or that I would ever even deserve it to begin with.

I hate when I don't write good. When I do it bad. When I can't quite put it right. I don't like it. It makes me upset.

I want to write good. I always wanted to be a writer and tried hard to get good at it. I didn't think it would be fun but I thought it would be fulfilling. So I tried it. And now I'm hoping that maybe I'll start impressing some girls with it.

demographics and the concept of shared nostalgia

>>12046637
No.

i need to sort my own feelings out but i don't even know where to begin, i thought i liked someone but now maybe i don't but am still possessive of them
fuck me

I want to do Highland games stuff. Don't really care too much for that weird and cringey "muh heritage" silliness with the other Americans saying things like, "well my great great great great great great grandfather came over here!!" My actual grandmother came over here so I guess I'm not too far removed but being proud of things you had nothing to do with or what shitty soil you're born on is stupid. Either way, the games seem fun and would make for a more fun workout than the bodyweight and general outdoor stuff I do.

Plus, I can be /fitlit/. Get all the lasses with my kilt and caber too.

why the fuck do these threads exist anyway? is it just blogging containment?

Body language is so fucking weird holy shit

Mormonism is last true church on Earth

>>12046128
Don't forget - you're here forever!

>>12048184
If these threads contained the bloggers I might not despise them as much.

A friend of mine is coming to stay with me for a week. It's going to be Thanksgiving week. The whole situation is fucked up. She currently has a boyfriend. We have been friends for a while and I didn't fuck her in High School because she had Chlamydia, so I was just stuck in German class with this girl sitting next to me always talking to me. But now the Chlamydia is gone, and supposedly she was in love with me, which is fucked up, because the year before in German One, I had fallen in love with this one girl, but she moved to Utah, leaving me uninterested the year after in any of the opposite sex that didn't resemble her, and that feeling has lingered a few years later as a Junior in college.

tl;dr
Going to cuckold a man during Thanksgiving.

>>12048250
https://youtu.be/no-iRQvJC-A

i think we’re overthinking it

>like girl in school but don't do anything about it
>spend a few years away from hometown
>return
>meet up with her, have fun spending time together
>want to be friends but not sure if i want to date her anymore
>also don't want to her date anyone else because i'm selfish and unsure about my feelings
fuck me

with another mass shooting in america i ask the question has the stuff happened before. like would young men go on a knife rampage in rome?

>>12045562
I recently heard that T.S. Eliot read more books than anyone else in history. Does anyone have any idea the exact number of books that he read? Even if fact is false.

>>12048797

Well, there were a few men that went on a pretty targeted stabbing.

>has the stuff happened before
Why do you think everyone from Guatemala and Honduras want to leave? The US is just undergoing the ordinary form of social collapse, it will get much worse as the decline accelerates.

Put da ween in in the foreskin of de peen

i’m so emotionally starved, i need to be in a relationship so i can have healthy goals/have someone i respect tell me what to do but every kind of human contact that isn’t extreme makes me scared because i feel like i’m just waiting for the extreme part to start. it was nice being with riley even if she was taking advantage of me. it made me feel normal/comfortable. in a lot of ways she was similar to my abusive ex but she would hold back cause she was working on being a better person.

https://youtu.be/qggxTtnKTMo

i was playing this song and my mom came into my room saying “that’s the theme to love story!” it’s her favorite movie. i was wearing my dad’s nike jacket. she said us kids were the best thing she and my dad did, even if there was so much turmoil.

i feel good about my decision to drop out of school and move to nyc, school has always been a burden for me because i tend to have these exaggerated superego and transference issues. i’ve never handled any kind of responsibility well because i never saw the point if my body’s just gonna become rot. if you’re gonna die “eventually” what’s the difference between dying in 50 years and dying tomorrow? idk the point is that we have each other and we can increase the creativity that goes on in this world. i miss riley. i miss alli. i miss kate.

>>12048855
> if you’re gonna die “eventually” what’s the difference between dying in 50 years and dying tomorrow?

you tell me, nihilfag. as long as you're seeking out food and taking shits you're just a worm that God mistakenly gave a brain to.

>>12048862
there is no God, only Jesus. all things are made of transcendental material. my parents had sex, that doesn’t mean i’m obligated to participate in any kind of belief/disbelief. i’m on /lit/ cause it amuses me. my cringe and bluepilled take is just a distraction from the blackpill that i do everything to avoid—

>>12048893
you're on lit because 4chan's social-cybernetic interface has hijacked the part of your brain that was originally evolved to help you coordinate in pack hunting. you're now worse than a worm: you're an appendage.

>>12048898
excuse me but what exactly do you want me to do? move to montana and hunt deer? there’s no type of action that will justify my existence and i especially don’t have to justify it to someone underage.

>>12048932
look buddy, you're the one asking questions from the technocapital hivemind
>what do you want me to do?
why don't you start with stripping naked and doing a little dance? as long as you're taking orders from on high

>>12048799
>implying Eliot understood all the allusions he made
The big dick referencers like Pound and Joyce and Pynchon don't always and consistently know what they're referencing. Make no mistake, they know a lot, far more than most, but a detailed academic-level understanding is beyond them.

Basically, they're using cultural signifiers in order to access an unconscious psychological substrate running throughout human intellectual experience, what Pound called the "the hardest kernel" of the thing. Pynchon did not listen to every single forgotten 1944 British pop tune he acknowledges in Gravity's Rainbow. Pound was mediocre student who scored Ds and Cs in his literature classes throughout his career, a confirmed dilettante.

This highly common behavior among intellectuals, as is skimming texts or borrowing ideas. It's simply an inefficient (stupid) use of brainpower to waste time on mental donkey work. For example, I have never read a piece of writing by any of the aforementioned authors, yet I am readily able to provide an in-depth analysis of their work and discuss them at length

>>12048946
next time you criticize someone’s character be courteous enough to offer suggestions for improvement

>>12048958
> I have never read a piece of writing by any of the aforementioned authors, yet I am readily able to provide an in-depth analysis of their work and discuss them at length
this is excellent pasta, thank you

>>12048960
No.

>>12046683
>>12046704
>>12046735
Thanks guys! I'm glad you're here. Legitimately

good, good

Today I will not waste hours and hours microbrowsing 4chan the news. I'll get all those things I've been planning to do done, like going through the photos I took last month and hanging up my new poster. If I'm bored I'll read, not shitpost. I'll look for a job later in the afternoon. Today will be ok.

>>12048963
Anyone have the pasta about the successful literature student who amazes his professors with his brilliant analyses but only ever reads the wikipedia article for the book?

Does anyone else have drastically different "ambient" feelings depending on the "period" of your life? Maybe this is just me being a weird overly-sensitive autist but I swear reality itself feels different now than it did, say, during the summer, or last year. I've tried to capture this in my writing but I don't know if it makes any sense.

>>12045829
I don't know but if you find some let us know. Comfiest motherfucking shit ever.

an autumn morning in my backyard, looking at my newly built wooden fence, at the dying plants, listening to tycho. my cat is inside sleeping peacefully. there is a cool breeze coming from the north and the lone tree seems a lot smaller now than it did in summer. i wish i could stay here all day.

time to go to work. time to sit in my cubicle under the bright fluorescent lights among my coworkers as we hunch over our computers writing software to crunch numbers and sell widgets. goodbye.

>>12049676
It's called pathetic fallacy and much used by literature, especially poetry and Gothic and To faggots. You'll be fine, apart from when it rains.

>>12049741
No that's not quiet what I mean, I don't attribute traits to the world I feel differently towards it

>>12045562
I have to drastically revise about 7 pages of this paper, then write the first 3 of 7 pages of actual analysis, in about a week. Totally doable, but I'm still angry and freaking out about it. Tfw eternally a brainlet. Should've halfassed my way through CS since I'm such an NPC.

>>12045851
Buy a cheap ring idiot. If your wife expects a fat diamond then that is its own problem.

>>12049807
Diamonds are gaudy anyway, who wears a diamond ring in current year + 3?

>>12047721
As a self-punishment?

>W. had noted in papers today, announcement of publication of book "Emerson in Concord," by Emerson's son Edward—treating of home life of R.W.E. W. looked forward to a treat in its reading. W. spoke of the multitude of art publications nowadays. "America seems of all places the best market for it—the best popular market. It would make good matter for an important article, to know just how this cheap art product is distributed—whether most North, South, East, West. "Some cute fellow ought to take it up for one of the papers." I had a friend who dealt considerably in cheap jewelry. W. was curious to discover how his product was disposed of. "It all has a great importance as determining the standard of our culture, lives."

been reading accounts of interactions with walt whitman from his friends and associates and some of this shit could've been written yesterday with how apt it is. he watched the rise and takeover of consumerism in his lifetime, among many other topical issues he mentions briefly in his daily interactions. rather noble man

>>12045630
The Abilene Paradox is literally a consequence of NPCs. People fail to act reasonably because they aren't really people at all.

>>12050358
>Secondary? They do not enter at all. It is not a question of fitness but of whether the fellow who is appointed is a good friend of the fellow who appoints him. Even General Grant would appoint men simply on the ground that he liked them! I think Washington and Jefferson—especially Jefferson—looked above all at the necessities of the service, and sought for those necessities the best man to be found. But the period of such ideals is past.
>litnerds been complaining about nepotism here in america since the country started
feels bad

>>12050354

No. I stopped watching it though. Didn't interest me. Nothing really interests me when it comes to entertainment lately.

My brain has been glitchy lately. Too much of the devil's lettuce.

Alright fuck this. Fuck searching for meaning and purpose and shit, it's only made me turn into a depressive psycho. The only time I feel decent these days in when I watch a J-pop or K-pop video, I'm not even a yellow fever guy

But I'm moving to Japan or Korea and meeting an idol and they're gonna fall in love with me cause I'm a 6'3 attractive white guy and we're gonna get married and then I'll be happy and turn into pic related

>>12046091
You are totally right. Unironically self proclamed supremacists /pol/tards will praise this decadence as the ideal life of the white man. They even defended an asshole like Trump which is the personification itself of what you are saying.

>>12046100
I know what you're talking about, the feel of alienation is really stressful but don't kill yourself anon.

I am haunted by a constant feeling that each and every instant of my time is wasted. What I want to do I canntot manage to do it effectively, although I have plenty of free time. Any leisure activity feels guilty. And I end up spending a lot of time on stuff I don't care about.

I don't think I could have a job because I could never understand the workplace mindset: I'm not hype about money, career, owning a car, etc.—so a job would almost certainly feel like wasted time.

Many retards on think americans are dumb and stupid, but little do they know that america was always far ahead of the competition. In WW2 america fielded what was the war's best trained and equipped military, and for all the Aryan bluster, produced more per capita output, and of a substantially higher quality, than all other combatants. People point out the fact that chinese students score higher than their american counterparts, yet they don't mention that all such advantages are void if these bright students go on to build ghost cities, bullet trains that run half empty most of the time, airports too large for commercial planes to land in, gigantic hotels that no one visits, and all sorts of colossal infrastructural boondoggles for the aggrandizement of the communist party. Both the Japanese and the Chinese had failed to turn their advantage in intelligence into an economic or industrial edge over america. Even the much vaunted Scandinavia looks less than impressive when we compare the standards of living of swedish and danish americans to native born swedes and danes. People might not like to hear this, but a mercantile spirit and respect for property rights help america overcome many of its disadvantages.

>>12050564
That was like eighty years ago grandpa, what have americans done since then except destabilize central america and lose wars to goat herders and rice farmers?

>>12050519

You can enjoy idling. Not as in being resentful or ironic towards others' expectations, but as in earnestly enjoying idling in and of itself, as a positive thing rather than a mere negation of activity. Doing any one thing means idling in regard to any and all other things you could've done instead, so proudly idle in regard to that one thing as well.

>>12048598
>man letting his girlfriend stay for a week with another man
Face it genius, you've been played

>>12050638
Become one of, if not the biggest cultural leader in the world? A position they've held since they got it?

America is such a depressing country to live in right now holy shit. It boggles my mind how just about every other day a mass shooting occurs. The government is powerless to do anything about it, having failed at their basic duty of protecting its citizens time and time again from its own forms of domestic terrorism and internal societal disintegration.

I used to feel buffered from this. Perhaps from my own disengagement and withdrawal from society or through luck, each next atrocity just slid of my back. But now the signs that there are extreme problems in this country and the government is verging on a failed state, I've become deeply concerned and motivated to figure out what's going on and how to fix it.

This culture of nihilistic mass violence is hitting a little to close to home. Something needs to be done about it now.

https://vimeo.com/293802639

>>12050739
>all those typos
I don't even give a shit. My nerves are immolated right this second.

>>12050736
American mass media culture is nothing to be proud of

>>12050638
Nope. America had not lost a single battle in either Vietnam of Afghanistan. The whole world should suck america's dick actually. Its the only country with actual stealth fighters, has eleven aircraft carriers, is the world's leader in medicine, energy, and high tech industries. Save for maybe Ireland or Liechtenstein, america is the best place on earth to be born in.

>>12050748
If more people open carried america would be SAFER.

Moar gunz
Less Muslims
Less dirty lazy immigrants
Make America great agaiN!!!!!!

We hadn't had any children yet. While tending to my garden, I heard a screech of tires as a black SUV came to stop on the gravel road in front of my barn. A serious looking man emerged from the vehicle wearing a black suit and sunglasses. He looked around, noticed me, and put his hand in his jacket, starting toward me. Perceiving danger, I started to back away. My wife had likewise ascertained the threat and, after positioning herself out of his field of vision, when he had gotten closer threw at his ankles a broom, causing him to trip and his sunglasses to fly off. Then she ran away. When he rose with a grimace (pic related) and a pistol, I realized that Jordan Peterson was trying to kill me. I dove to the ground, fortunately the curvature of the land provided cover for me as I frenetically unholstered my pistol. Peterson continued stalking towards me and opened fire but missed. I shot back and he was evidently much surprised to learn I was armed. So much so that he again tripped, this time on a shovel, causing him to rush toward me in a fit of imbalance before he fell on his stomach leaving his astonished face only a few feet away from me. I aimed and fire at his forehead which was punctured. Less blood than I expected was discharged. He grunted and started to point his gun at me. Amazed at his constitution I fired twice more and he still didn't seem to be fazed, in spite of the tripartite holes in his forehead. Then he seemed to relax, and said "Well, it looks like you managed to defend yourself after all." Following this bizarre utterance he assumed a neutral expression and faded from corporeality.

Writing the first sentence is like getting into a cold pool

>>12051342
Just write a place holder and then go back at the end, your whole intro paragraph will probably need to be redone anyway.

>>12050436
>tfw k-pop idols are forbidden to have boyfriends or participate in any sort of romance because it would degrade their virgin personas

>>12045562
Euro here. I’ve spent a lot of time in the US. Why would any young person, ever, under any circumstance, live anywhere but New York or California? I’ve never seen such polar cultural and geographical extremes, certainly not in Western Europe. And I haven’t been to Russia yet but I imagine it’s quite similar.

Journal Entry One
"Trying to fix cute art hoes problems"
This is one lesson I hope my children learn early and well. Let me list off a few names for rememberance
-Celeste
-Abbey
-Alyssa
-almost Maesa
All of these women only brought me pain because
A) I found them cute
B)they had a massive pile of problems I though I could fix.
Which I couldn;t
Avoid art hoes entirely, especially depression, anxiety, cutting, eating disorders, mania etc.
On second thought, art hoes come build in with those characteristics
I thought I could get Alyssa out of a terrible relationship
I thought I could fix Celeste's """depression"""
I thought I could rebuild Abby's absolute wreck of a life.
I was wrong. I was wrong on all accounts.
I cannot force someone into a better life.
I saw this impulse developing towards mesa, and I will *crush* it.
She needs more money, to stop cutting, to not be a thot, a GED and a drivers licence. Only now do I realize I can;t give her any of those things, or force her or anyone into a better life.
She will only improve her situation when she puts forth effort.

Do not get bogged down by your excessive kindness to irrational, bleak individuals.
Women are not cats, you can't save one off the side of the road and be it's savior.

>>12051396
Are you sure? I can recall a few times K-pop stars have had boyfriends I think
I do know that J-Pop, specifically the giant group AKB48 cannot have boyfriends

My girlfriend broke up with me last week, this was probably one of the hardest weeks of my life. It's almost like someone buried her alive. I still occasionally see her and all I can think of is how our lips once softly pressed together. But now she's left me for another man. I had my time of grievance though. I can do nothing but move on. I don't want to die a masters slave.

To what degree do you plan out your work?

>>12046308
Why do you care so much about being mature, and leaving away "infantile" impulses that actually make you feel good? Sounds like torture

>>12051446
I think you're being a bit too broad, but I agree there's not too much reason not to live in the north east or on the west coast, MAYBE in somewhere like Colorado or Montana if you're exceptionally into /out/ stuff

>>12045667
Comfy as hell,anon.Good read.

>>12045685
aka barbecue on the bathroom.

>>12046546
Holy shit dude get some professional help

And was I there for conversation? Maybe it could have been nice. What was assured was the pizza. After all I didn't have to care about making dinner.
The vegetable pizza was the greatest. The BBQ one was good, left evidence all around, I couldn't have swallowed a whole of it. The Margherita was nice and simple. No one but me touched it. Went down smoothly and effortlessly. If I were a pizza topping, which one would I be?

There are quite a few things a pizza party can't cure, but I couldn't think of any.

Why can't i do anything to change my life,bros?I'm a fucking brainlet who's only achievement in life was learning english,every time i pick up a book i can't fucking finish the motherfucker, i'm such a procrastinator,goddamit.Anyone has this problem?I feel like i never gonna change.Sometimes i think that free will doesn't exist,can you guys help me?

Its about a Hitman who uses his money to put himself through grad school so he can get his Masters in Social Work

I had a dream where japanese idol Saito Asuka was my girlfriend, then differently than other superficially good dreams this one didn't went sour in the end albeit a little chaotic. I woke up feeling really confused as to why this happened at all since I don't find myself obsessed at that point, this is where a wave of intense shame on my pathetic position in relationships should come over me but in reality I felt a simple and childlish joy at the very fact that anything that I could've felt in that strange episode was good, a good feeling that could be experienced by me or anyone in the past or the future. I believe that before anything that comes after death one is exposed to all kind of emotions, even if I forget everything I'd want to feel that innocent and adventurous feeling of spaceless warmth I felt in that dream.

>>12046601
Do skyrim books count?

I think constantly having dreams about this one girl convinced me that I like her and now I'm not sure if I actually do

You know how people will use objects or concepts symbolically to represent emotions? Like rain represents sadness, fire passion, a rose love, and so on. I form connections like that but to a seemingly much greater degree than normal, for example a flannel shirt, a specific blend of coffee, a hue of lavender, a book, etc will conjure up very precise emotions in me. I tried to explain this to a normie friend but they didn't get it. I like to think this would make me a decent writer, but I never actually write consistently so I guess I'll never know.

I forget who said that menial physical labour is the key to creativity, but they were totally right. As soon as I get into the rhythm and my brain shuts off the words start to pour out. Tried replicating this with korean grindfest mmo's, but the physical exertion seems to be just as necessary as the unengaging task. First noticed this while working a dead end factory job, but Ive since moved up in the world, so Im seriously considering buying an axe and splitting wood in my backyard, with no intention of ever burning it.

>>12051891
I've had dreams like this before, but only a few times. I wish there was some way to induce them. I'm always sad for a long time after I wake up, though, due to the comparison with reality.

>>12052144
I encourage you to read some French symbolist poetry for inspo and then to try and write some of your own stuff. Those guys were all about using the human surroundings to approximate the far-looming and elusive Truth and describing their often painfully fleeting states of emotion with a multitude of worldly things.

>>12051837
Please help,recommend some books for this feel.

bvmp.

>>12052000
yes

>>12052046
Well do you like her, or the girl in your dreams?

>>12052443
>>12051837
idk any books for this feel anon. I think I understand that feeling though, of complete impotence, the inability to exercise your will over even the slightest trivialities. I'd sometimes just sit there staring blankly at my computer, unable to move thinking "why, why? what is wrong with me? I'm useless" etc etc. I really don't know what advice to give you as I don't think I've changed enough to warrant preaching. Some things which have helped:
NoFap and especially NoPorn, even apart from sheer celibacy, a simple reduction in frequency has lead to more energy
Focusing on action as opposed to intellectualizing inaction. I would constantly buzz through my mind all the reasons for my lack of motivation and discipline, potential mental illnesses, diets, family history of trauma etc. Being the brainlet that I am it took me a while to realize that willpower isn't some abstract quality that can be measured like height or weight, but simply my own capacity for choice. I can choose to close my fist and open it. I can choose to get up and put the laundry out, I can choose to read 50 pages today. It sounds retarded, but I found this perspective very useful. Just think, what lead you to pick up English to begin with? How did you manage to learn it? Learning a second language is quite an accomplishment, more than most people are able to do. You clearly have the ability.

>>12051635
Don't worry, anon, my girlfriend broke up with me nearly two weeks ago because she buckled under peer pressure and listened to her parent's wishes to end the relationship. I felt terrible and depressed at first, at the fact that she decided to end it so abruptly and without much explanation. But I climbed myself out of the hole when I realized my friends were beginning to become really worried for me. I felt like a burden to them, and I reached a point where I just wanted them to smile again. And I told myself that I couldn't stay in this depression anymore. It sounds superfluous, but I forced myself out of it. It still hurts on the inside, but at least I am healing slowly with the help of my friends.

Don't be afraid of speaking to your friends, true friends will always be there for you.

>>12051837
These are answers you have to find inside yourself. I know nothing of your life, and throwing self-help or philosophical books at a person that does not seem to be receptive towards them will solve nothing. My advice is to think introspectively and without self-hatred. Identify your problems, then work yourself into forming and maintaining good habits. It took me years to finally get to the conclusion that all of this self-flagellation didn't help me besides beating down my confidence. Be patient and try your hardest to work on bettering yourself. Please, anon, I know you can do it. I believe in you.

You know how you be playin pool and you pot the 8 ball too early so you're like "well the game is fucked but we might as well finish up the table since we already put 2 coins in" now you're just pointlessly shooting balls across the table tho u already lost
I live like that

Really stupid question but are there any books about how the dictionary came to be or something similar? I play Warhammer 40k and I'm doing an Ordo Grammaticus kill team (expanding into army one day) which are quite literally grammar nazis and I want to delve into something like what I asked.

>>12052925
Boswell's Life of Johnson. Johnson composed the first dictionary in English and is basically responsible for all the weirdness of modern English spelling.

>>12045562
I scored a 24 pack of Yuengling, and even though it's cheap domestic crap, it feels good to have as much beer as I want and not have to go back to the corner store everyday.

I'm feeling some of that Weltschmerz tonite. For many years now I've understood intellectually that the distinction between self/other subject/object is illusory but exists as a biologically real virtual construct. So while it is illusory it still has causes and effects on my behavior. Experience itself is like a painting in this respect, a representative illusion. It's not quite real as what is really real but it maps to it enough for you to navigate life on the basis of it. Similarly, a good painting that resonates with you might give you the deepest truth into your emotions even if it isn't quite real.

Once I understand this fact about experience empathy becomes burdensome. Nothing so harms me as empathy, as caring about others. I wish I could be a statue of unflinching stone.

When I see people out in the world and I know they are suffering it is hurtful to me, and so I shut out empathy. If that isn't a verdict on the state of the world, I don't know what is. Or perhaps, more likely, it's a verdict on my state of mind.

Sartre was right, there is too much existence and it's overwhelming. I want to die.

>>12052953

Hah. Perfect. Cheers, mate.

I genuinely think that MDE is making fun of everyone and everything at once and I'm super tripped out because of that.

I had falling in love with a bookstagram, chatting with her a bit on and off. I think I really really like her.

>>12045562
A drunken man walked into an inn shouting all kinds of atrocious words.The inn keeper told him to leave but he refused so he called the guards but the guards would not respond so he gave up.

gonna buy a book today what should i get

Maybe the two forces that conflict in my personality have a hidden agenda unbeknownst to each of them separately but known together, like a glyph and it's encryption, neither making sense without the other

I intend to cease my foolish, unproductive and detrimental behaviour and become a better man. I only hope that you will give me a chance.

>>12053188
Good luck, friend, I believe in you.

>>12053154
lanark by alasdair gray

you ever realize you could have helped someone out but you didn't just because you were on auto-pilot? i was at the gas station getting snacks yesterday and this homeless black dude comes in and starts arguing with the clerk, claiming he gave her money and saying "mama, you got a halo over you," and all kinds of stuff like that. i could have spared him some gas money but it didn't even cross my mind. i didn't feel threatened, just as if i was so comfortable with my own naturally delusional aloof state that i barely noticed. the reason i was in a bad neighborhood was because i was seeing a hooker.

>>12053199
pic unrelated

>>12048855
the musician who wrote the theme to love story just died two days ago

I removed all my wisdom tooth today no more room there for tooth decay.
My homosexual Doctor with colorful socks who had just got his hair cut and was wondering whether he should pack a backpack or suitcase for his 2,5 week vacation to Thailand. Also his mother had recently broken a pretty hefty bone somewhere in her ankle and had only gone to the hospital while she and her husband, my doctors father, where vacationing in Italy. He told his 40years his senior assistent that he had received photographs of Italian holiday destinations where his mother was postured up in her wheelchair with a frown.

10 minutes it took for all four teeth to be put in a gasket and pressed into my hand, along with a flyer and prescriptions for painkillers. Early I left the house of birth and death coming up with jokes to try and make my father laugh. Swallows flying and I was trying to swallow. Whilst I wallowed in the comfort of the 12 injectory sedation sensations.
My chin now feels a pillow, my lips are tasteless, for the feeling of pain, I am put on a 2 to 4 hour wait list.

There is so much hatred in my heart.

>>12046643
The truth is anon that people have always felt alienated from each other. The difference is that reading naturally gives you more mental assets, more tools to explore your own mind with and critically reflect on the world around you. Music, video games, and video simply create a network of already existing significations (generated by words) that interlock with each other like pieces in a jigsaw. This is my theory, but some philosopher has probably already thought it up (would love some recommendations).

>>12050374
>NPCs

I never thought I would come to 4chan. They say it's full of dark and disturbing stuff. But I guess I'm just getting in touch with my fucked up side and I need an outlet. Give a man a mask and he'll show you, who he is. I have my finals coming up and studying is such drudgery. You need something to numb your mind so that you can get on with it. It's like you need a couple of drinks before you bang that ugly girl. Your senses need to be dumbed down to take all that information(which you'll never use) to the head.

>>12053482
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on /lit/ by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is /lit/. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.

>>12050476
beta male detected

>>12053498
Thanks for the warm welcome bud.

>>12052162
i don't think it has anything to do with the boring aspect. that doesn't make sense. but yes research indicates that physical activity is likely to increase creativity and clear-headedness. the science has to do with the flow of blood and the release of various hormones in your brain

I'm afraid my choice of learning Latin over any other non dead language might have been a mistake.

>>12053648
Latin just makes it easier to learn your next language m8

>>12052162
Just get a treadmill and set up a standing desk to run across it and work while you walk

>>12053659
I dunno, I wanted to learn French next and since my main language is Spanish I'd estimate that I'd have it pretty easy if I just went with it without bothering with Latin. The thing is that while I do enjoy Latin and I'm interested in learning more of it (at the moment I'm terrible at it) I can't help but feel somehow guilty for investing what limited time I have in a dead language. I know what I want to do and I intend to stick to it, but I can't elude that nagging sense of culpability.

>>12053648
Latin is an awesome language though. What language would you rather be learning?

>>12053677
I wanted to try my luck at learning French because I believe it's rather beautiful and it has an admirable literary tradition behind it, but I settled for Latin kind of out of the blue, even though my interest in both tongues is about the same.

>tfw remembering how it felt to hug her
>crushed about losing her all over again
just kill me already

>>12053976
At least you've known the love of a woman.

>>12053976
I no longer even vaguely remember what love feels like. the last girlfriend i had i didnt love at all, even though she was by far the hottest one ive had. Im basically a hermit these days and dont see how i will ever start dating again

>>12052690
>>12052794
Thank you guys for the advices,i'm surprised more than one person responded without jbp memes or irony.I wish the best for you guys,we're all going to make it.

>>12051635
>>12052794

Don't forget that it only gets worse 6 months down the road when she doesn't remember your birthday, but you still think about her everyday

>>12054166
i had the last laugh with my first gf, the only one i ever cared about. I got back together with her 4 years after we first dated, and then cheated on her and left her for the one girl I knew would hurt her the most, the girl she had a rivalry with in highschool over me. It fucked up their entire social circle because of their mutual friends

sometimes i feel bad, and then i remember that time she came to a party at my house, mere weeks after breaking up with me, and laughed at me when i asked her why she was there. that cruelty of the uncaring. that one little moment made me hate her forever and every time i fucked her after that i wanted to cave her face in

>go traveling
>hate it, incredibly lonely, want to be home in my comfy room drinking tea and back in a region I know
>come back home
>hate it, hate being in a shithole town with no good friends and nothing new or interesting happen
>long only for the open road and new adventures
I really hate myself

>>12054181
>sometimes i feel bad, and then i remember that time she came to a party at my house, mere weeks after breaking up with me, and laughed at me when i asked her why she was there. that cruelty of the uncaring.
How can people be like this? It seriously rattles me to read things like this, is the average person just emotionally barren and empty inside? And then, by their cruelty, they debase you as well anon. If this is what humanity is I cannot conscientiously say it should exist.

>>12054568
>date in your own friend group, are equally liked by all
>break up
>you now have to tolerate each other unless your mutual friends are assholes
Though this guy sounds like the psychopath from my old unit so Id take it with a grain of salt

I want to submit some of my stories so other people can read them but I have no self confidence the prospect scares me

>>12046091 hate to break it to you but people have always been morons

I hate being an eyelet. The other day I shattered my glasses in an act of brazen clumsiness that shocked even myself. I've reverted now to this foggy little baubles that I'm stuck with thanks to childhood adventures putting my eye up to the tv screen so that I could try to make out individual pixels and then later reading with a the book inches from my face.

Neither of my parents are eyelets, which makes me wonder how otherwise it could have come to pass that I would be so afflicted. Now that I don't have glasses my senses have already adapted and my far sightedness has sharpened a degree, as if the body adapts to the removal of a prosthetic enhancement by trying to boost the busted organ.

I'm going to pick up a new pair sometime next week but I don't want to shell out the cash. I've wanted to get the laser surgery as well but I'm waiting to pull the trigger on that. That 20/20 life is more suitable for my fondness for physicality.

I want to write but most if not all of my life experience comes from fiction instead of real life, so I fear that whichever situations I devised would feel completely fake and unoriginal.

>>12054966
>hanks to childhood adventures putting my eye up to the tv screen so that I could try to make out individual pixels and then later reading with a the book inches from my face.
That's not how this works

My hair has reached my shoulders, it's an odd feeling

>write horror story
>give to bigbrained writer friend for feedback
>takes like three months to read barely 40k
>sorry anon for the delay I had to put it down often cause I couldn't stomach some passages easily
well. now how to find out if he's just a wuss or if it's genuinely good. experiment backfired

"Suicide is a permeant solution to a temporary problem" is the most fucking normie saying in existence, my blood pressure rises every time I encounter it. It's just self-congratulatory in-group back patting with absolutely no attempt at empathizing or understanding why people would be suicidal. Fucking scum.
t. guy who used to consider suicide hourly

>>12055400
There's a third option you haven't considered anon

So, Guys, We Did It

>>12055425
What did you do anon?
Or what did we do if you meant that inclusively.

How do I get over the anxiety I get when I say I look ideas for a novel, I just end up never writing anything and resort to poems. On that subject, how do I get over the fear of people asking to see my poems. I also have no formal training on writing poetry so I just write what comes to mind and what I feel.

>>12055469
oops had a typo there, Anxiety I get when I look****

>>12055435
we reached a quater of a million subscribers, 250,000 subscribers and still growing
the fact that we reached this number in such a short amount of time is just phenomenal i-im just amazed, thank you all so much
for supporting this channel and helping it grow I-I love you guys, you guys are just awesome.
so as you can probably tell this isnt really a montage parody, this is really more like a kind thank you / update video
so in this video im quickly gonna go over two things: firstly advertisements, and more importantly : the future of this channel
and what kind of direction its headed.
okay so firstly, the advertisements. believe it or not but montage parodies are actually a copy right minefield
new content is getting claimed every day. we could use something from.. lets say.. 5 years ago, and tommorow a huge company could come along

>>12053976
I know that feel anon it's been 3 years and I missed her so much today so I scrolled through her entire Instagram.

>>12054543
It sucks that you can't run away from yourself.

~~~
I read the myth of Sisyphos today, I expected it to be different. Should I stop searching for some "arbitrary" reason to live? I wish I could take the leap of faith but I agree with Camus that it's a cop out. I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

>>12055009
How does it work then, doctor?

I met a girl online and we both seem to really like each other, but she lives on the other side of the country and I don't know what to do

>>12055526
I thought it was primarily genetic but it turns out it's not that heritable and believed to be caused by environmental factors. Today I am the brainlet.

>>12055531
Keep her as a pen pall and if you still like each other in a few months plan to visit

>>12055420
that it's simply so bad he couldn't read it in one go? nah. not happening. he'd tell me, and happily so, he's a dear friend but kind of a twat in that regard.
(although I still wouldn't rule it out but c'mon let me have this)

>>12055551
Yeah that's reasonable. For some reason I've been stressing about this, I just need to relax

Realizing that I was never an important part of my oneitis's life, and that all the memories I had with her that I thought were so beautiful and significant were, in her mind, mundane and uninteresting. It was all a dream, it was always a dream. A delusion. It was the only thing I had, the only thing that mattered. Even if it was never real it still made my days worth living, what do I have now that could ever replace it in my broken, childish mind? I cannot live without the dream, it was all I ever existed in relation to.

>>12049676
I feel the same anon, you put words onto something. I thought it was the case for everyone

At the start of this week I had a meeting with the BBC for a gig reading my poetry on TV. I only got the meeting through cronyism (I know someone who works on the show).
I thought the meeting went really well but they never emailed me or called me. They also met with one of my friends who is better looking than me and more charismatic and probably more talented. I found out today that, through him, that he got the job.

My life is pretty shit at the moment and this seemed like an amazing opportunity for things to change.

Why do things that would make me happy never happen?

>>12045851
>I would sooner go to Africa with an AK and a pick axe to mine my own diamonds than be enslaved to debt for the expected ring of marriage.

Wa-hey! You're not alone!

what is the meaning of life?

I have neither a past nor a future. I may as well not exist.

>>12046595
your brain is accustomed to instant gratification, which doesn't actually gratify the geowing intellectual part of your brain. the point being that you only get bored easily because of habit. not being bored takes practice.

another girl ghosted me

why is it so hard for me to get into a relationship, everyone else seems to fall into them without any effort at all, while i'm here becoming dangerously close to wizardry

what's wrong with me

>tfw late bloomer
>tfw so many things you never got to experience
>tfw too old for them now

>>12056051
Some combination of unattractive, non-charismatic, uninteresting, and/or no financial stability

>>12056109
but i see guys who are uglier than me, poorer than me, more boring than me, more autistic than me with gfs

>>12056072
>a bloomer would never think it was too late
You thought you made it fren.

>>12056169
Well your standards play into things as well. If you don't mind a gf who's not the most attractive/hygienic/a career walmart greeter I'm sure you could easily get a girl too

>>12056179
I did not mean bloomer in the meme sense I meant "late bloomer" in the common sense

>>12045562
i’ve just become happy again after ~5 years of misery. First, older folk like to talk about “your twenties” as the greatest period of life. I wholeheartedly disagree – 23 through 27 were horrible. You’ve no idea what you’re doing, where you’re going, most of us had big ideas and big dreams at 19 or 20 that we’re starting to suspect they may never pan out. What’s worse, everyone’s on instagram pretending they’re a celebrity, but they’re feeling it too.

I always thought I’d be a writer and actor and now I’m just a civil servant. Spent every single day of the last five years dying at a desk, lamenting my choices and feeling like a failure, caught in the common rut, thinking “this cannot be it.” Adulthood, and I guess the rest of life, is going to be a tedious, uneventful chore, and just like everyone else’s, with the occasional moments of beauty and bliss. Not at all like the movies.

Specifically to be happy I did three things:

(1) I started this exercise of looking at myself and my life in the third person, like a character in a game you’re controlling. It’s hard to do. But when I got out of “I” and get into “He/She” thinking, it really makes me appreciate my life more. Try it out.

(2) I picked up a hobby (cooking).

(3) I completely gave up on my dreams (writing and acting), which is super depressing but sort of helped I guess.

>>12056351
Audibly kek’d at the end, hats off

>>12056351
this hit me deep, fuck. adulthood is a nightmare. how the fuck do people do this every single day? it’s so tedious to the point that i don’t care what happens to me. can’t wait for it all to be over, one way or another.
also wish dfw finished pale king because i think it would’ve addressed this topic perfectly. read joseph heller’s “something happened.”

>>12056351
You've not really given up if you still browse lit discussions

>>12056351
So you:
>attempted to give yourself a depersonalization disorder
>started doing something with your free time
and
>gave up at ever doing something cool
Wow how inspirational

>>12056199
I got you friend. How exactly how has this robbed you pf experience?

>>12056351
This is the blackest bluepill I've ever seen. I feel physically sick knowing that this is what awaits me if I don't top myself soon.

Either that, go Supreme Gentleman or take the breadpill and live in a monastery for the rest of my life.

>>12056395
You must be in university

>>12056351
honestly i know you quit writing but ... this was the most depressing, poignant thing i’ve read on the topic of existential boredom in a while. specifically the cooking part, i don’t why that stung so bad.

Write a book on this please

>>12056406
I am, but even you think I'm a naive child that doesn't make your actions any less pathetic. If you say this is inevitable and necessary to be a functioning adult I will call it a tragedy.

>>12056398
I never did or experienced any of typical things you do as a teenager. I didn't even have a romantic attraction to anyone until I was 18. Now I am older and struggle to mature because I so desperately desire to return to the past I never had.

>>12056385
>read joseph heller’s “something happened

I swear there is hope in that book I'll just need some more time to find it. I've read it two times already and something in the future will drag me to that book again. His obsession with that one girl he didn't get to fuck while he was 19 and working at that company is understandable, but it is also blocking, because the part where he talks about his wife and how they used to fuck around on that lake and other occasions is beautiful but his mind casts a shadow over that experience.

He walks slow, his left hand shakes, the right hand is holding the rifle, in front of him are the old men which move faster and breath harder. The only thing he can think about is the moment when he will close his eyes forever, what will happen a few seconds before, how will it be, whom will be the man that executes the task. Those questions have been torturing him since the whole conflict began,he can't even remember the time he had a smile in his face or when relative peace surrounded him. Another day another bet, used to say a selfish young man which thought he knew everything about chaos and disorder, that man has as much fear as every person in line. Peace was a lie during that walk, at least the generals used to say it, and we tried to believe them as the bullets went through our heads, to finally sleep forever.

>>12056427
You are denying yourself the present to fix the past. In 10 years you'll be thinking about this moment and wishing that you could go back and fix at least this.

Is there a way to make a career out of being a grammar Nazi but not wasting all my money on college because I'm an American in a shitty, capitalist country?

>>12056389
That is most definitely a symptom of giving up.

>>12056477
Become an editor and advertise online like in homework/college forums?

>>12056351
My trick was not to give up on my dreams but to give up on happiness. I don't a care about happiness or fulfillment. I just don't want to be in abject nihilistic misery. Writing does worlds of good in helping to keep the nihilism out. While I yet write I still live.

Do I care if nobody reads it? Not really. Maybe they will someday. Until then I'm going to look this world square in the eye and tell it to do your worst.

Fashwave images are really stupid

>>12056540
Become a writing tutor for teens with rich parents. I did this for a stint out of college. Lots of parents want their kids to pass the SATS well and there's a writing portion of it. So they might hire tutors.

I was able to get some work just by sending writing samples and tracking down teens through my family.

>>12056576
>tracking down teens
Why does this phrase sound so wrong

>>12056583
I would put it in my CV.

>>12056351
this is the saddest short story I have ever read ;_; senpai could you at least pretend it gets better.

>>12046206
This. 4chan was never a home to racists who'd constantly call people niggers or anything, and it was certainly never home to incels, despite being a gathering place for lonely friendless wapanese nerds. No siree.

>>12056576
I also ended up practically ghost writing this one girl's paper because she was going to kill her self if she didn't get a good grade or something and was freaking out. Also one of the boys I was tutoring became gay for me. So maybe don't do this.

>>12056588
>*tracked down over 130 teens online and in the field
kek

>>12056460
Perhaps, but I can't say I want too much from the present. And given how uncertain my future is after I finish school (this spring) I don't see how I can even work on the few thing I do want, like strong friendships or a romantic relationship, I'm just going to be getting up and moving again in mere months anyway.

>>12045562
the garden

there once was a gardener
and he knew his only job
was to tend to a garden
with all his life

for he knew
once he was gone
all that would remain
would be that garden and her fruit

she came to his abode
and her green eyes answered
they and her slight smile
were what killed her

but that never happened
for she never went there
it was her soul
in the middle of the night

looking for what she always longed
but never needed
a fleeting shadow lost
in a garden of light

unwelcome is the quality
of not having found home
lost in the profanity
of shadow meeting bone

it was not to be
not his chosen one
but only a memory
of a time she used to be free

like yearning to press that old button
that never was
like seeing an opening door
and fleeing what you forgot you cannot see

>>12045562
tell your children before you die,
trust your inspiration

So if I were to write a narrative, am I taking part in some metaphysical engagement? I sense as though I am stepping in the same realm as many other writers, countless beyond the stars. The more I form the words and place them into the text, the more I can find a sort of meaning that transcends the physical form, a further plane that spans outward from the far reaches of my mind and out some hole into a great ocean of words. It is a large place, and many seafarers are about it, swimming to and fro to find some way to meet their goal. But some of these creatures are wistfully passing by, not going to one particular place or another but instead merely floating among the tides of words. They sputter about in their examinations of the depths, and they often times come at a slowing when they find the word that grips their attention. I see many of these beings happily finding a moment of meaning in these discoveries. Where do they go? Are they still finding their way along or have they been pacing onward and backward until the time has come for them to take their last breathe?

What then do I do when I find myself being one of these creatures? The happenstance of both being the observer and the observed in my mind's eye, placing myself in my own sea of words that I have both formed and let float on by. Who does one turn to when they are placed into such a paradox? Can I steer away from this place, this vast ocean of possibility? I think it time to take my paddle and take direction as some of the more thoughtful creatures do. I shall follow one or two that I see paddling towards some harbor, and I admit that I only paddle in their direction because I have enjoyed their method of paddling. Now it comes to the point where my mind strains itself from the moving of the words and my body creaks from the effort of sitting still. I still wrestle with this difficulty. Too long have my thoughts been anchored in doubt, in discrepancy, in the lack of mode and of determination to write the narrative. I find it a strain to even be writing in the pathway of my own boat, to create a wave of words that only gives me yet another hurdle to pass over. No more. This is done. I will not let my mind be possessed by this infliction of the self any longer.

Dumb, ugly and boring. The trinity of the untermensch. I got em all baby, send me to the camps, god knows I'm not good enough for anything else

>>12048834
kek

>>12055531
How'd you meet a girl online that's not a girl (male)?

>editing a short story
>realize that the plot makes no fucking sense
ugh I though it was decent but now I hate it

>>12057070
To elaborate a bit, it's written in first person, and I've tried to avoid saying things like "Now I am going to go do this.", instead I just have the character go do the thing. However, since, for lack of a better description, the narrator is not a normie his actions aren't always clear. *I* understand them, because I wrote them, but I'm worried readers won't get it and assume I'm just a shitty storyteller (which is true, but not for this reason).

I enjoy learning German, but I really wanna learn Japanese too.
I've been looking for German music and there's fucking nothing, I hate it all. I'm not interested in Germany atm, I don't care for German culture all that much.
I much prefer Japan. But I still wanna read some works in original German and I've made a lot of progress so I don't want to give up.
I was thinking once (if) I get to B1 level in German I'd start learning Japanese.
Have any of you learned one language and then learned another? Is language learning purely genetics?

>>12057161
Pudda thosa things away babby

Lord, I just ate a dessert and I feel like I'm going to die. How can people like sweets? My pupil feel like they've become pinpricks from the amount of sugar surging through my bloodstream. How do kids love this shit? I'm pretty sure I can feel my hands and feet tingle.

I could have gotten a hearty savory meal and felt nourished and sustained. Instead I've opted for the Satanic Sweet, the cursed crepe, the demonic dessert.

i love my cat. he's a complete shithead - he knocks shit off my desk, he wakes me up early in the morning, he bites my ankle, and he just sits around licking his butt all day. but when i pick him up and he starts to purr i really and truly love him. i'm going to be really sad when he dies.

>>12057181
Yeah but if you die he'll eat you. That happens you know

>>12057161
I made the same mistake lmao. I can read/understand German pretty well now, but I don't really care for it all that much. Wish I had put my efforts into Russian instead.

>is it purely genetics
Not at all...or at least not entirely...I'm not fluent in anything, but I'm proficient enough in German and am decent at Russian and Italian. It's a bitch to learn a language initially but after a while you learn things that can be applied to others, so it gets easier, in my experience. Pattern recognition and all that.

>>12057180
Dessert anon here. Status report. I feel like the world is getting dim around me. I have tunnel vision. I'm breathing heavy and have cold sweats.

>>12057188
How long did it take you to get to a decent level in each of your different languages?

>>12057180
Are you diabetic? I'm being serious, you shouldn't be having that kind of reaction to having a sweet.

>>12057193
My heart feels like it's rising out of my chest. And I noticed the veins in my arms are sticking out. And I feel like this weird gurgling and wheezing noise. My mind is sporadic and disorganized from the intense glucose spike. My chest is tight. My palms are sweaty.

Never again.

>>12057202
Lol no I'm just having a laff. I did feel like shit after eating it though. Diet matters for real.

>>12057180
>>12057193
>>12057235
You have diabetes.
Either that or you have a liver/kidney problem. See a doctor immediatley

>>12057235
based dessert anon

>>12045562
glimpsed i with fading gaze
the strong flesh
the exaggerated male form
and aversion filled me
why?
why, o soul, did you choose this body
unfit for a scholar?
yes i knew she did it because
bodies were scarce
and few fitted their calling
still i bemoaned that fate of choice
and the last whisper i heard
before i was born was this:
"let those who choose harder their essence
be helped by their form"

>>12057246
Actual diabetic here.
>I have tunnel vision.
>I'm breathing heavy and have cold sweats.
Is definitely how I feel when my blood sugar is low. If lights become unbearably bright as well, then definitely that's what that is. But the fact that anon had those effects AFTER lots of sugar, I don't know. I recommend a doctor visit as well.

I visited me mum's the other day and slept in my boyhood room. I remember feeling penultimately comfy on the rainy windy cold fall night as I lay in the bed now too big for me, and gumdrops and fairytales fluttered and paraded through my adult mind. The pillows were super comfy and the blanket felt like it was made out of the skinned fluff of an adorable furry pokemon. Outside in the wind rustled midnight, the same trees I listened to rustling as a boy now raked and rattled, beset by a sky twisting with clouds and intermittent moonlight.

That night I would go to sleep playing with nymphs and mushrooms princes, will-o-wisps and munchkins, as father Winter puffed his first volleys of the winter to come.

>>12057187
yeah, i read that murakami story too

"stock up on silver bullets and be careful on full moons"

I have to take the lawyer ethics exam tomorrow. I’m scared I won’t know any of it. I didn’t spend enough time studying what I learned a year ago. I don’t get test anxiety so I’ll be fine, it’s just that moment when you read a question and have absolutely no idea which of the 2 answers left is right. I’m going to try to sleep, but I drank too much coffee to study today. Hope I wake up on time. Why would they schedule a test at 8am on a Saturday? Why can’t they let us sleep in a little?

>>12056597
No, it doesn’t. Ever.

walking at night to the gas station listening to the undertale soundtrack. back on the couch watching lain, the cat is licking his stomach again.

>Tens of thousands of people fled a fast-moving wildfire Thursday in Northern California, some clutching babies and pets as they abandoned vehicles and struck out on foot ahead of the flames that forced the evacuation of an entire town.
>Everyone in Paradise, a community of 27,000 people about 180 miles (290 kilometers) northeast of San Francisco, was ordered to get out.

There's something symbolic about this news story that calls out to me. The fact the town's name is Paradise, and paradise is burning. As if to trenchantly signify a crisis of demonic invasion, of hell surge. This apocalyptic scene, produced by wildfires which are believed to become more frequent with climate change, is a harbinger of a greater calamity, the Herald of the Storm cometh.
You could expand and generalize it to the state of American politics, a state of burning, of tumult and inflammation.

Honestly I should write a story about this.

>>12058271
Epic

>>12058271
California is going to get absolutely wrecked in the next few decades, I don't know how they're going to manage.