/lit/ - Literature

>>12046235
Post his best prose

>>12046235
Because he stuffs his work with ideological agendas like diversity, inclusion, the nerdy people always win etc

The only thing more dishonest than a plot about cancer is a plot about miscarriages

>>12046235
Where do you get the idea we think he's a bad writer? I've read all of his books. If I thought he was a bad writer I would have stopped after reading one.

>Do you just not like his books because they're about teenagers having fun, and you were a boring teenager?

No, it's because his books are laughably dishonest depictions of teenagers. It's almost as if John Green was the boring teenager and he writes his silly love stories in order to live vicariously.

Of course, this is all just beating a dead horse. I really hope this doesn't turn into a 300+ thread.

Literature is supposed to act as a mirror. YA books are more like ironic polaroid photographs.

https://youtu.be/nlfnY9TNa5g

>>12046452
is this a meme or is this actually what my peers on this website are like

>>12046462
don't treat the idiots here as your peers and it gets much better

>>12046235
Cult of celebrity. His persona. His opinions. His punchable face. Being a pornographer.

>>12046238
>Post his best prose

>>12046550
>>Post his best prose

>>12046452
This but unironically.

>>12046235
Freedom for transsexuals like John!

I recently refueled in gas station around 1 am and some guy dressed as a woman approached me and offered oral sex in exchange for a hot dog from the station. I recognized him on a characteristic point on his face, I ask, "john, you are crazy, what are you doing here, pranks?" And "he" said something like "I am Erato, muse of love poetry, I can play you flute whatever you want." I fucked up from there as soon as possible, because I'm disgusting myself with strangers. On the second day at 7 am, on the messanger, i get a message from green (yes, I have this sick fuck in friends) " you there? I just sit in Lisbon and eat breakfast "- fucking transistor thought that I will not recognize him at this gas station.

>>12046269
bump

>>12046235
He could be good. But he has one framing device and only one, and never strays from that niche of "quirky high school teenager reflecting on a challenge of life" fiction. His writing is also stubbornly blunt, to the point where his characters will think to themselves about the themes of his own book as a way for him to say what the themes are. That's amateur, basic bitch writing, and the literature equivalent of "I guess in the end, we are The Walking Dead(tm) after all."

>>12046235
I don't think he's a bad writer, I think he's a mediocre, boring writer. He's good at writing forgettable teen melodrama that sells well. I barely remember anything about his books and I read most of his early work at least twice, including the christmas novella.

>>12046550
See pic.

>>12046238
dropped pic and replied to wrong post.

>>12046242
How is treating different people equally like human beings an ideological agenda?

>>12047065
>treating different people equally like human beings
what fucking year is it m8? Pretty sure this is considered racism in TheCurrentYear

Admit it, he is right and all the incels of /lit/ literally cannot refute this.

>>12047069
sluts are just gross

>>12047065
human beings are inherently unequal, and concepts of "different" exist in cultures for a reason

>>12047069
the idea that there is a double standard is kinda weird, it's as if he thinks people look at people like pauly d from jersey shore and think "oh wow, what an ideal male" and not a responsible guy with a steady girlfriend and his shit together

John Green and I became friends on a college excursion to find and promote political candidates sympathetic to the social democratic welfare state. During our friendship, he took some very reprehensible liberties with me and some other budding authors. I won't go into too much detail, but suffice to say that one of his bestselling novels features a plot lifted directly from the manuscript of a friend. I can't stand this man.

Post the post about raping John Green. I know someone must have it.

>>12047073
Sluts are god damn fun, boy when you're hitting some nasty ho and her poozi is squeezing on your jimmy and fucky fuck oh GOD

>>12047090
I thought you were about to say he tried to seduce you

I think I'm going to have non-consensual sex with John Green.

Yes, in fact right this moment I have resolved to rape this man. All of my faculties and resources are now going to be put into achieving this end. The way this man controls the contortions of his face elicits a deep, ape-ish urge within me to do extremely violent and sexual damage to him.

If you think about it, how is John Green different from a woman? They are equally timid. Equally frivolous. Equally acquiescent. Equally narcissistic. Equally upset by a combination of words or ideas that do not conform to the status-quo. And no doubt Mr. Green has sucked a penis too--maybe just a silicon one (for now), but nevertheless he has tried it; has been struck with the same sort of 'oh-i'm-so-so-naughty' inclination that seizes all women at some point in their life and with the frenzied tom-tom of feminine sexuality blaring in their head which is only ever empty and only ever filled when the image or implication of a Penis can be grasped in external reality, and just like such a woman has John Green greedily taken hold of the dildo that he secretly keeps in his top drawer (why disguise it further? why, wouldn't he be happy if someone were to discover his little perversion? oh think of how oh so so naughty that would be!) and after taking the full 7.5" of rubber down his throat he is filled with such a thrill such that no expression of his "masculine" sexuality has ever come close to attaining.

Hmm, indeed, the lines between Woman and John Green continue to blur, and my dick continues to rise. Raping him could be ethically and epistemologically justified, both through Utilitarian ethics and Platonic Teleology, but I will not go into that here. Suffice to say that raping John Green would be a net benefit for the world as such, as material entity and conceptual ideal. It would be a rape that would satisfy so many hearts, so many minds, and most importantly my own penis.

I am decided: John Green will be raped within the month. I will devote myself to finding out his residency, his routines, and I will plot and plan my moment of violation meticulously. This is a very real goal I have set, and I shall know neither rest nor mortal satisfaction until it has been attained.

>>12047107
Thank you, kind stranger.

>>12046452
Lmao at those comments.
>Grace Raymond
>2 years ago
>This is actually extremely offensive because John Greens books stopped me from killing myself. He's the reason I'm still alive.

>>12047107
Based.

>>12046235
Not even about kids having fun, about kids having to deal with intense situations and loss because he doesn’t know how to make readers sympathize with his pretentious characters any other way

>>12047130
I saw that too anon, but I don't bully.

>>12047107

>>12046242
How is that agenda anon? Is everything not /pol/ an agenda?

>>12046269
bump

>>12047177
not him, but i think he'd also consider /pol/ an agenda, as we all would

>>12047157
Me either, but still you gotta admit it's hilarious.

>>12047069
I admit it. He is right

>>12047073
You seem to have prejudice there.

I've read pic related every year around Christmas for the past five years. His part of the book is almost exactly what I wanted from high school.

>>12047107
this is basically the arab thought process when they see a beardless person.

>>12047200
I do not laugh at the folly of man, for no man is an island. So do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

>>12046452

this is hilarious satire

>>12047243
but if you can laugh at yourself is it really such a crime?

>>12047235
https://www.alaraby.co.uk/english/blog/2017/12/20/men-without-beards-cause-indecent-thoughts-in-other-men

this anon speaks the truth

>>12046235

>>12047069
He's right, men and women shouldn't be held to different standards on number of sexual partners. Men should be judged for being sluts too

>>12047379
Men are judged for being sluts. More than women are imo desu

>>12047120
Never have i seen a more reddit post.

>>12047107
I should visit /lit/ more often

>>12046452
Wow I completely forgot about Dillon the Hacker

>>12047395
>I live in an internet world

Anyone else feel like Hank fucking killed his brother with his first book?

Also does anyone else feel like this was probably ghost written? It has a brief section talking about the morality of ghost writing with tbe resolution that it's lazy and superficial, but I feel like that might have been included so that some idiots could think "woah well there's no way this was ghost written because Hank literally rags on ghost writers here!"

But still, even if it is ghost written I feel like it's better than anything John's written in his career. It's not perfect, but I'm enjoying my read of it.

>>12047107
>Raping him could be ethically and epistemologically justified, both through Utilitarian ethics and Platonic Teleology, but I will not go into that here.
Why not go into it now, could be interesting

>>12047208
Anon please
If a key opens a bunch of locks, is it a good key?
If a lock opens for a bunch of locks, is it a good lock?

>>12046452
Dillon the hacker is fucking great, this mustve been around the time kumbi was making moby dick monologues

>>12048236
If a man is regarded as promiscuous, as a sex symbol, what importance is it for a woman to be faithful to that man? It goes both ways. The man might pretend he is being "fixed" for as long as he likes, but only until he bores of her appearance/personality/lack of putting out that he will move on as is the way for man sluts.
Such is the life in pursuit of sex over family.
Everyone belongs to everyone.

>>12046235
is this the guy who had two characters explore oral sex and they couldn't figure out you're supposed to move during the act?

>>12047235
holy shit this is the most based thing i've seen in this thread. epic comparison

>>12046452
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yWAGuenzp-U
We still miss daddy D

>>12046235
>teenagers having fun
Having cancer doesn't sound very fun to me

>>12047090
He's spoken about voting republican when he was younger. I'm inclined to believe this is a larp.

Unironically super cute and relatable

he's a better writer than anyone on this boards is

>>12048742
More please

>>12047107
fucking amazing

>>12047069
>food to people analogy
I hope you don't do this.

>>12048922
The food analogy really is the most degenerate form of reasoning

>>12046269

bump

>>12046452
La Americano…

>>12046235
>white middle class kids
>fun
Yeah, no.

Also his writing is just shitty and self conscious. Even compared to other "popular writers /lit/ hates" like Rowling or Martin, Green is total ass.

>>12047061
T-this can't be real. Reads like a parody of a neckbeard who imagines sex. Even Green isn't THIS bad.

>>12048742
More like incredibly pathetic and cringe inducing. I guess it's also realistic, since I wrote similar trash as 16 year old but where is the appeal of looking into a mirror when reading anyway?

>>12046349
>Literature is supposed to act as a mirror.
Says who?

>>12046238
Post is first post best prose

>>12046269
bump

>>12047069
You don't have a 50%+ chance of losing half of your money for the rest of your life to a box of Cheerios if it's been on the cock carousel

>>12047395
Delusional: The Post

>>12049334
>Delusional: The Post
Delusional: The Post

>>12048742
wow imagine copying rupi kaur

>>12049401
for a second you nearly confused me to a point of a brain aneurysm, thanks

>>12048652
It isn't. Which is why it's really strange that that book is written in a quirky and fun way

>>12049037
Hi brainlet

>>12049401
rupi kaur was 12 when Looking for Alaska came out

>>12050632
she's a prodigy

>>12050632
John Green confirmed pedo?

>>12047107
nice

>>12047069

See:

>>12047107

>>12047069
would you like a can of coke that you were the first to break the seal on or would you like a can of coke that has been open for decades and had dozens of cocks in it?

>>12049569
>No arguments: the post

>>12050876
I don't need arguments to completely blow you the fuck out, scrub

>>12049037
alistair glass, mirror salesman

>>12049227
based and sandpilled

>>12047219
>implying you don't have the opposite prejudice
how do you idiots even make it through the day without falling into traffic

>>12050881
You're on, /lit/, not your Discord, faggot.

>>12051011
oh, sorry wrong window

>>12047107
Godspeed anonymous benefactor. Make the world a better place

>>12050817
Underrated

>>12047379
Men are judged for being virgins.

>>12051576
wrong. men are virgins because of qualities they're already judged for (blatant attractiveness, being a total sperg etc). in the odd cases where an attractive and likeable guy is a virgin for whatever reason, women see it as an endearing, cute quality.

>>12051815
haha, until they're in bed and he's clueless. take it from me, i got my first piece of ass at 24

>>12051868
Then it'd be judgement about lacking performance. Though to be fair it exists, unlike judging for virginity.

>>12051919
i think judging for virginity exists in addition to the stuff youre talking about and youre just being autistic

>>12051922
yikes you do sound like a 24 year old virgin

>>12051938
i lost my virginity when iwas 16, and my friends, who all lost it when they were about 12, all made fun of me until i did

'virgin' is such a common insult that i find your posting itt nothing but contrarianism

>>12051943
>who all lost it when they were about 12

Are you bosnian or something? did they all bukakke a goat and you missed out?

>>12051951
oh man. spot on about the bosnian thing. not the guy to whom you're replying, but i have way too many stories about growing up in a bosnian community (i'm a poor anglo)

>>12051943
Your friends were retarded, big deal. Some of mine were disgusted by the idea that I enjoying reading.

>>12051958
dump dump, this is a board for stories anon

>>12051951
Im Canadian, they were just the precocious kids.I really looked like a kid and girls didnt find me hot until I was 15ish

>>12051972
Which is another thing again.

>be able to get laid but not getting laid
isn't no where near
>can't get laid
No one makes fun of the former, while the latter is obviously pitiful.

>>12047069
Imagine locking John Green in a jail and forcing him to pick between fresh food and half eaten, spoiled, or otherwise touched and unpleasant looking food. Imagine shocking him each time he tried to take the fresh, untouched food. Then playing him that video. Maybe then he would understand.

>>12052003
Makes no sense, given how fucking someone with experience is ... a better experience.

>>12048982
Not real, but funny enough this post caused tumblr staff to remove the ability to edit other peoples posts/comments

>>12047107
gay

>>12052017
>given how fucking someone with experience is ... a better experience.
This is a meme that virgins circulate to cope with marrying a high mileage slut.
>so what if she's had dozens of cocks, that's just means she'll be better in bed for me!
getting used as a cocksleave after a night out wasted doesn't make you good at sex, and she's only going to get excited for attractive men, not some virgin loser she settles down with.

>>12047092
lol

>>12052017
>It's a better experience
I think the emotional experience of two people having their first time together is better than the physical experience of fucking a slut who is more experienced because of all the men she's had sex with

>>12052258
>This is a meme
It's common fucking sense. Whether it's fucking or writing or writing about fucking. Experience tends to improve performance.

>getting used as a cocksleave after a night out wasted doesn't make you good at sex
Repeat it often enough with different people and try different shit, and you will get better. I don't get how "practice makes you better" is such a hard concept.

>she's only going to get excited for attractive men, not some virgin loser she settles down with
Attractive people are attractive, really? Luckily for the majority, being attractive isn't too hard, just ask your parents.

>>12052432
You're only going to have the first time once. Afterwards the emotional experience is the same shit, while both have a lot catching up to do on the physical side nor any outside reference.

>>12049227
Baseado y rojopastillado.

>>12046269
Fuck it,im bump

>>12047107
One thing that kinda sucks about this board is it's not popular enough to expose this type of copy to journalists.

>>12047243
that sounded super gay

>>12052436
>Experience tends to improve performance.
>Repeat it often enough with different people and try different shit
Sluts don't try different shit, they just lay down starfish mode and just let themselves get pounded by a different series of guys.
Sex isn't that hard to learn anyway because its instinct, so you don't need thousands of partners to be better at fucking. As said its a major cope that betas circulate to justify marrying a slut.
>Attractive people are attractive, really?
And your used up slut wife in her early 30s isn't going to be attracted to whatever she has to settle down with once a high value guy doesn't want them.
>>12052450
>You're only going to have the first time once
And you'll be committed to that person, any romance felt towards someone doesn't evaporate after the first time having sex
>catching up to do on the physical side
then its fun to figure things out and explore each other sexually together!
>outside reference.
Read the Kamasutra or some other sex help guide if you're that clueless.

>>12046235
I haven't read them because a) they are young adult novels and as such they do not seem interesting to me and b) there is a world of literature that does.

>>12053297
cope

>>12046235
i'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things: his books are garbage and so are his youtube videos and he should kill himself

>>12053792
he's an educator to young children, what's your problem

>>12046235
He's fine for some light YA, but the problem is that many who should be more mature regard him as "deep" and a great writer.
If you're 13 and John Green is your favourite writer, fair enough.
If you're 18, not so much. Reading it is fine, revering it is not.

Also, his personality is annoying.

why are you too insecure to recognize that he's a good writer?

>>12048742
Jesus Christ, talk about oneitis. Fucking beta, lol.