/lit/ - Literature

part 2:

My body, for one. Let it be exercised and trained to resist the earthly dangers of this world. So too should my mind continue to grow as it does now. Let it flourish with knowledge, and let it remain calm by tempering it with a controlled ignorance. This latter concept is derived from this simple idea: in order to best stay quiet about something that should not be spoken, perhaps it is best to not know about it at all.
My connections with the people around me should also be modified. Let the silver strands of my affection shimmer across a great web around my home, and let the rusted, decaying slivers of a torn past fall to the ground and be buried away.
Let me also modify an older idea that deserves enhancement. Let me wear a face that is stronger and more resilient. Let me bear a shield unlike any other that will hang from my brow and keep me safe from the dangers lurking around every corner. But amidst all this strength, let there also be a glimmering light of comfort and compassion that echoes the hidden force within.
This is for the security of the mind, soul, and heart. The holes in defenses are being repaired, and something newer is being built upon an already strong foundation. Let me combine the new AND the old to make something unprecedented and original. Let me emerge from this transformation as something stronger, quicker, faster, smarter, healthier, lovelier, and wiser. Let this tower ascend into the sky as if declaring, "I shall not fall." Let me defy the cycle of creation and destruction by persistent, constant maintenance of something that is pre-existing. Let me RECREATE and SUSTAIN myself instead of building back up after a great exertion. In doing so, I will have achieved some measure of what I seek.

part 3:

----
"In the middle of a vast ocean stands a massive tower, its foundations buried within the sand of a small island it is centered upon. The tides lap against the tiny circle of beaches softly. All was quiet...for a time. From somewhere within the tower, a mighty reptilian roar echoed outward across the world. A moment later, a veritable maelstrom of white fire erupted from the top of the tower in a billowing torrent. There is no one to see or hear this for thousands of miles...but perhaps that was the entire point."

fin

come on, guys, read and rate, plz

seriously guys, I need your help, read and rate plox

c'mon you fucking assholes, read my goddamn story

fuck all you pretentious pieces of shit

my story is better than anything any of you basement dwelling asspies could ever dream of creating

>>1201386
>>1201400
>>1201411
>>1201431

>OP yells at us
>Wants us to help him
>Thinks he is entitled to this help
>Yells at us more
>"Why won't you help me ect. ect."

>>1201386
>>1201400
>>1201411
>>1201431
lol

>>1201431
I actually needed that OP. I wanted to post about how poorly written this was but I asked myself why would I just shit on some random guy, needed the incentive.

I didn't like it. Thought it was poorly written and that it read like a 9th graders report about global warming.

>>1201366
Hey OP, I read your story, good shit. It really feels deep and complex. Well done, man. Ignore the haters.

>>1201453
HAHAHA. Forgot to drop your trip, bro.

HAHAHAHA.

>>1201440
>>1201446
>>1201452
You know what? Fuck you guys, I at least have the guts to come out and post my soul on this stupid fucking imageboard. You don't have shit compared to me.

>>1201453

If you want to samefag, at least get rid of your fucking tripcode. Fucking Christ.

>>1201460
Yes, Mr. Anonymous is big in the britches, posting his work on 4chan.

>>1201456
>>1201464
What fucking posts are you assholes talking about? There isn't anything there. You fucking shitbirds are going crazy, aren't you? That's what happens when you read drivel all your life instead of real art like my story.

>>1201460
Are we just trolling? Is that what this is? Because the original "story" seems to be written for that purpose.

The structure is fragmented, the language flows poorly. The cliches, they are EVERYWHERE. I'm pretty sure this entire story is a cliche. The words, they are pretentious. The plot, it is pretentious. This is a monster, a horrible piece of work that seems created for that sole purpose; being horrible.

>>1201464

What did he post? Was it as lulzy as his 'story?'

>>1201474
Fuck off, assfucker. My story is legit, alright? You're a pretentious motherfucker that cant' see greatness when it's right in front of him. What have you written that's better? That's right, nothing.

Actually, I'd say my story is too deep for you.

>>1201460

We do this shit regularly, bro. There was a thread just a few minutes ago like this.

>>1201386

>>1201400
>>1201411
>>1201431

We aren't your fucking nannies. We have the choice of responding to your thread. Be grateful we did. Be grateful we actually gave a damn about your shitty story. Hell, most of us have better things to do.

You should have just kept your mouth shut OP, any responses aren't because were all being "trolled" by some mastermind but because we have nothing better to do than laugh at how much of an idiot you are.

MAXIMUMOVERTROLL.JPG

>>1201484

Really? All I see is "blah blah purple prose blah blah lofty themes blah." Do you see any modern writer doing shit like this? Try harder. PLEASE.

>>1201485
I won't be grateful that you MORONS can't see something great when it's right in front of you. Fuck you, fuck all of you.

>>1201494
I'm not "trolling" you asswipe. You just call anyone who says anything you don't approve of a troll, don't you?

>>1201496

Then leave, And take your ego with you. We don't want you here. We feel inclined to laugh at you. But just fucking leave.

>>1201501
He's very clearly trolling dude, you should at least have some internet know-how if you're going to tripfag up.

>>1201501
I don't have a big ego. I'm a modest guy, really. I'm just pissed no one was rating my story. That's all I want. And serious ratings, not like that one earlier where >>1201474 was clearly just mad at me for yelling at him.

>>1201496
OP, your "story" is not a story. It has no character interaction, dialogue or plot. Whatever, why not try submitting it to flash fiction markets and see what real editors think:

http://www.ralan.com/m.flash.php

>>1201513
Want a real assessment?

The story is poorly written. The style itself seems very fragmented as if you didn't have the ability to connect your ideas in a logical manner.

Many of the devices used are cliches. Random elippses for poorly planned out dramatic effect, repetitive word repetition, awkward "questions" that are meant to be deep or something.

The story line was pretentious. It is not good, the author clearly thinks more of his work then his writing style would belie. The ideas are poorly developed, and they are simply bad because they appear to stem from a narcissists mind who can't write for shit. Sorry bro.

>>1201513

So, snubbing everyone on the board for not reading your glorious work-

see >>1201431

Yelling at us for thinking we're mudslimes who can't write shit-

see >>1201460

Calling your, as far as I know, un-reviewed story a work a work of art-

see >>1201473

And even saying it is too deep for us to understand-

see>>1201484

isn't pretentious and egotistic as all bloody fuck, what is?

>>1201525
yeah, ok, I went light on the characters, but I thought my themes were really strong and well developed
I don't want to submit it anywhere for a while, it's really a part of a longer thing I want to finish first.

>>1201533
You really think so? I just don't agree, man. No harsh feelings, though. Thanks for your honesty.

>>1201539
You're just interpreting everything wrong. I said I was angry before. Let it go, man.

>>1201554
fuck you, shithead

OP, you asked for criticism. It was given, ad you cried like a baby because the literary minds of /lit/ did not like it. Go post it on /b/ I'm sure they would give you the criticism you are looking for.

>>1201557
Just back the fuck down, alright? I won't yell at you troglodytes anymore if it makes you to uncomfortable.

>>1201569
So now you go and call us cavemen. Please sir, would you kindly gtfo of my /lit

>>1201569
>I won't yell at you troglodytes anymore if it makes you to uncomfortable.

lol

seriously, you're a bad writer and you have basically been a complete bitch in this thread, go away

Just keep trying, OP. Keep writing. It may not be very good now, but you never know, a few years and you may write something good. Also, don't come to /lit/ for for criticiisms. If you're confident in your work, send it to a publisher or an agent.

>>1201572
You ask me to "gtfo" your /lit? What the fuck is a /lit? Hah, you can't even spell your website properly.

>>1201567
I don't even know what you're trying to say. /b/ is for assholes.

>>1201580
I'm a better writer than you, fucker. Seriously, what trash have you written?

>>1201569

Christ, you're a douchebag.

In amongst the well-considered comments by Anonymous, you've been given a succinct -- and free -- analysis by a professional writer and editor, you ignorant pig.

GTFO and go to bed.

>>1201431
lold, hard. hemad

>>1201569

That's strike, what is it...

>>1201431
>>1201460
>>1201484
>>1201496

five~! Five times you've shown your mammoth pompous ass and ego all over the pavement. Honestly, OP, you're killing me. Really. Keep this up, I'm starting to like this.

>>1201588

SIX! It gets better and better.

>>1201582
Thank you, man. I appreciate the kind words. But I really do disagree and think my work is pretty close to perfect, thematically.

>>1201592
Fuck you then, man. Trying to act all high and mighty by pretending to be a "professional" writer and "editor." You go to bed, dickwad.

>>1201599
>>1201604
Oh, you're starting to like this? HAHAHA that's so fucking funny. I may just leave this site and never come back. You assholes are too much.

>>1201588
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. No one here respects you, no one here thinks you're a good writer. You're just a stupid, angry idiot. Go away.

>>1201614
>Thank you, man. I appreciate the kind words. But I really do disagree and think my work is pretty close to perfect, thematically.

lol

why the fuck are you even here if you think your work is perfect

>>1201588

I'm sorry OP I meant /lit./ I missed a forward slash while you showed us that you suck your own cock.

SURE IS MANY NEW TRIPS AROUND HERE LATELY

It's pretty fucking pointless. Stop trying to be deep.

>>1201615
Hurr, you are nothing but a neanderthal. Don't talk to me.

>>1201619
I think it's close to perfect thematically. It could use some work developing the story, and I just wanted to know what you guys thought of it.

>>1201625
No problem, man. I didn't meant to bust your chops about that typo, I'm just pretty pissed at the way this thread has gone. And I am capable of sucking my own dick, but I don't do it.

>>1201627
I don't even know what you're trying to say.

>>1201592
>In amongst the well-considered comments by Anonymous, you've been given a succinct -- and free -- analysis by a professional writer and editor, you ignorant pig.
Uhh.. which one was that?

>>1201614

You dug your hole yourself. We're just laughing at how you can't get out.

And I hope you leave. Then we can get back to whatever we were doing before you came in.

>>1201627

Haters gonna hate.

>>1201641
do you even realize how incredibly arrogant you are?

also, there's no real story to be seen in this piece. and the largest problem with it isn't the story, but the quality of the prose - it's awkward, wordy, it doesn't flow.

>>1201614

>Fuck you then, man. Trying to act all high and mighty by pretending to be a "professional" writer and "editor." You go to bed, dickwad.

>Fuck you, then, man! you're trying to act all high and mighty by pretending to be a "professional" writer and "editor."

You see, son, _that's_ a professional edit.

>You go to bed, dickwad.

And trying to return the insult I came up with is just fucking lazy [spolier]or retarded[/spoiler].

>>1201644
>IMPLYING A GENERAL OBSERVATION NECESSITATES HATRED.

>>1201373
>>1201371
>>1201366

OP, take this garbage to fictionpress and post it. Chances are they'll take you for the second coming of some dead author. They enjoy reading pure garbage about bull shit like this and vampires.

>>1201641

And there's number seven. This is just so sad, and yet so fucking hilarious.

>>1201648
I'm just gonna have to disagree with you. My prose is really good.

>>1201649
You can't even spoiler properly. faggot

>>1201652
I might, but I really wanted a high brow opinion of my stuff. That's why I came here. I heard you guys have superior taste. Apparently not.

>>1201654
You seem to have a problem with me. Just mellow the fuck out, man.

>>1201366
The fuck, OP?

I may not be the greatest at conveying my ideas, but, fuck, you sound like a pretentious hipster.

You can redeem yourself by ending it with "Not a single fuck was given that day."

>>1201658
>My prose is really good.

no. it's not. in fact, it's really bad. there are moments when it's good, phrases which are well-weighed, elegant, beautiful, but for the most prat your writing is heavy and leaden

>>1201641
>I think it's close to perfect thematically.
>perfect thematically.
You're fucking retarded.

>>1201658

That's eight. And really, if your prose was that good, we would have said it. We know when we see good prose.

And bro, I'm chill as fuck watching you toss your inflated ass all over the room. Let me guess, your shit don't stink too?

>>1201649

Is that really a professional edit? I have to say, I prefer the original. I don't like the extra comma you use before 'then'. Is that really necessary? Can't it be left out?

I also don't like the fact that that you added 'you're' to the start of the next sentence. I think it has more punch without out.

Please correct me if I am really wrong, although I think I'm right in thinking it's really personal choice. Am i?

>>1201666
I lold
That would be like saying...
He fast quickly
or
The gun

>>1201658
u jelly?

"In the middle of a vast ocean stands a massive tower, its foundations buried within the sand of a small island it is centered upon. The tides lap against the tiny circle of beaches softly. All was quiet...for a time. From somewhere within the tower, a mighty reptilian roar echoed outward across the world. A moment later, a veritable maelstrom of white fire erupted from the top of the tower in a billowing torrent. There is no one to see or hear this for thousands of miles...but not a single fuck was given that day."

fin

>>1201660
I'm not a hipster, man. Hipsters try to like stuff like my stories, but they just can't. They are too superficial.

>>1201663
You. Are. Just. Wrong. How many times do I have to say it?

>>1201666
Hurr

>>1201668
My shit actually doesn't stink, because I eat healthy food unlike you fat fucks.

>>1201674
Hurrrrr

>>1201672
Don't get cute, you pissant.

>>1201675
There isn't shit here to be jelly of.

>>1201663

I agree with this. Some of it sounds quite nice, but in too many places it's weighed down with words that aren't needed and stick out awkwardly.

>>1201684
Thank you. I appreciate you reading it and honestly giving me your thoughts. But I'm still gonna have to disagree. My prose is smooth and flows really well.

>>1201678
>You. Are. Just. Wrong. How many times do I have to say it?

so you think that your taste and your aesthetic judgment is superior to that of /lit/?

if that's the case, why did you even come here for help? you seem to think that you are the smartest person with the best taste. why the fuck are you even here, then?

Also, this is a serious question - do you realize that you come off as unspeakably arrogant?

I WISH I WAS AS COOL ON THE INTERNET AS YOU ARE. YOU MUST LIVE A REALLY GOOD LIFE SINCE YOU CAN'T RESIST BUT TALK YOURSELF UP ON AN ANONYMOUS BOARD.

HOW CAN I BE MORE LIKE YOU?

ITT some tripfag who can't recognize babby's first troll.

>>1201687
If it's all the same I think you're samefagging or you've got bleeding hearts in this thread, nothing you wrote sounds "nice". Sorry :(

>>1201678

Nine, man.

And I'm glad you're honest. Many arrogant fucks on these boards give more an illusion of humility, but you, you just don't try to hide it.

And those guys who are debating the usage of grammar in a phrase don't need shit from you. Lay off them.

>perfect thematically.
DURRRR I DUN UNDERSTAND GRAMMAR

I think arrogance is a wonderful thing for a worthy writer, but for the unworthy it is quite ugly.

>>1201692
Did you ever stop to consider that I'm not that arrogant, but that I'm just better than all of you chucklefucks?

>>1201698
Fuck you, I recognize trolls, and this Touhoufag isn't one. He's seriously trying to tell me my story isn't good.

>>1201700
I don't care, man. I haven't samefagged. I don't do that shit.

>>1201702
I don't even know what you're counting anymore. Just stop it, you immature prat. And they can debate my grammar all they want, as long as they know I'm right.

>>1201703
Hurr, you are a retard, aren't you?

>>1201706
It's good that I'm worthy then, isn't it?

>>1201715
If you're better than us why did you come here asking for criticism? that seems rather pointless.

>>1201678
>not a hipster
>everybody is too stupid to understand my art
>probably shops at whole foods
>Interior_Semiotics.AVI

This is an honest question, Mask, do you consider yourself on par with such authors; HP Lovecraft, Stephen King, Bernard Cornwell and Algernon Blackwood?

>>1201678

Pissant? I wasn't talking to you, man. I didn't even say anything about you. I was asking another anon about his edit of your sentence because i thought it might be useful to me. Plus I actually liked your sentence before he edited it, I don't see your problem.

I am still interested in an answer to that post btw if anyones willing?

>>1201716
I came because I thought you guys had taste and could help me critique my work.

>>1201719
That interior semiotics crap was a piece of shit hipsterfest. Don't mention it in the same sentence as me.

>>1201720
No, of course not, but I think I have the potential. I might even say I am close. And Stephen King's a pretty crappy writer. I "might" say I'm on par with him.

>>1201721
I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry. This thread has me riled and I'm snapping at everyone.

>>1201715

Ten.

I'm counting the number of posts where you act like an arrogant cunt.

And no, it's not good. I've told you that from the very beginning. This thread has told you the exact same thing from the beginning. I'll say it to you clearly.

YOUR. STORY. IS. SHIT. YOU'RE. AN ARROGANT FUCK. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Do I have to repeat this? Or are we in for more arrogance inspired lols?

>>1201730
L O L

Just get out

ITT: OP

>>1201741
>>1201742
You know what I think? I think you're all just jealous. I wouldn't be surprised if you all haven't copied my story and plan to submit it for yourselves now. Just know if I ever find out, I'll sue your asses.

Hey, OP, are you going to do the http://www.nanowrimo.org/ thing, 50k words novel month thing

>>1201730
OP, you have bi-polar disorder. You also have hubris. You came here asking for critique. This means that you are willing to take whatever is said about your piece. You are saying that the entire forum of /lit/ has no experience in critiquing and that our argument are invalid your piece because apparently you think it is God's sperm sent to the world in order to inseminate our minds. You are an arrogant piece of shit who needs a reality check. Stephen King is amazing compared to the horse shit which you have presented us. Your prose does not flow, except out your own ass crack. Please sir, either take what we have to say and work with it or get the hell out of here. That is all.

>>1201720
>Do you consider yourself on par with such authors; HP Lovecraft, Stephen King, Bernard Cornwell and Algernon Blackwood?

>>1201730
>And Stephen King's a pretty crappy writer. I "might" say I'm on par with him.

>Misunderstood the question

>Write the ultimate text, which is perfect, and it perfect thematically and prose-wise.
>Ask 4chan for its opinion anyways, even though I'm sure it's perfect.

Also, you're not better than Stephen King, if you're being serious about that.

You're either a really fucking top-notch troll, or entirely self-deluded.

10/10 troll

You win OP

now be on your way.

>>1201749

LOL

Oh god. I nearly broke a nerve. Seriously, you're playing that card?

>>1201730
>"No, of course not, but I think I have the potential. I might even say I am close. And Stephen King's a pretty crappy writer. I "might" say I'm on par with him."
>"And Stephen King's a pretty crappy writer. I "might" say I'm on par with him."
>you're a crappy writer

>>1201749
>>1201730
>>1201366
>>1201371
>>1201373
>Hipster shit fest

>>1201770
Fucking lol'd

>>1201783
seconded

>>1201753
I might try it. I like to take my time when I write though and really perfect my prose, so I probably couldn't write that much in a month.

>>1201754
I don't have any diseases you ass. Fuck off with that shit. I didn't even read the rest of your post.

>>1201756
>>1201770
Shut up, you guys. That's not what I meant and you know it.

>>1201762
You ran out of cards like an hour ago, fucktard. Just get out and save yourself any more embarrassment.

>>1201778
You're the only hipster I see around here. I bet you didn't eve like my story, did you?

this thread

am I the only one who really isn't sure if OP is serious

>>1201793
Judging from the previous statements, I'm going to just tell you that nobody on /lit/ has liked your story. I think you should try to find a way to control your hubris. Either that or 10/10 trolling

>>1201798
You fucking punks keep calling me a troll just because you can't handle my stuff.

>>1201799
Of course I'm serious. Goddamn you people are dense.

>>1201800
Now you've resorted to lying just to make me feel bad? Way to make a low blow, asshat.

>>1201793
>tl;dr on /lit/

>>1201756
>>1201793

The person who asked you that question asked you if you felt you were on par with all the authors listed, not just one. By saying you feel on par with one, it can be inferred you mean all because of how the question is structured.

Am I wrong?

I know what you meant and you know what you meant.

>>1201793

Twelve times mate.

I don't play with a deck. I call em as I see em.

>>1201793
do it anyway and then refine the story to the point you've captured every form of poetry, diction and perspective of writing imaginable so it's a tour de force literary orgasm. That couldn't be too hard seeing as your a literary messiah.

>>1201806

Oh god! Someone archive this shit

>>1201810
He asked if I felt I was on par with those authors. I said no, but one of the listed authors wasn't as good as the rest, and I might consider myself on par with him. Fuck your question structuring bullshit.

>>1201818
I might just do that but it might take the rest of my life. I'm willing though. It would be really awesome to achieve something like that.

>>1201819
That chart doesn't make you less of an asshat.

>>1201806
Thirteen times.

Well, it's safe to say you're either the most delusional hipster I've met in a while, an internet tough guy who doesn't like to be wrong, or the best troll in /lit/ history. Thanks for the ride so far. I'm just waiting to see more.

OP, please post more of your work, as this thread needs a bit more fire.

OP, I am impressed and stunned.

Impressed and stunned by the pedantic, dry, pointless irrelevancy of your ENTIRE FUCKING STORY.

>>1201831
one moment it's a kids story, the other it's a hardcore erotica then it turns into a limerick about the deep thrusts and soon after it turns into a weird fiction that morphs into a mystery.

>>1201810
>>1201831

>He asked if I felt I was on par with those authors

>I said no, but one of the listed authors wasn't as good as the rest, and I might consider myself on par with him.
>>but

>Asked if I felt I was on par with those authors
>on par with those authors
>on par with those
>those
>those

>>1201806
>Goddamn you people are dense.

Or we actually know good literature when we see it.

>>1201839
Alright, I will post one more thing. It will be an oldie though, and maybe not as good as the OP.

>>1201842
>>1201847
You're both idiots. Bloody fucking morons.

>>1201845
Don't mock my epic.

>>1201849
Apparently not.

>>1201847
>>1201853
HAHAAHAHAHA

Butthurt got your tongue, OP?

>>1201853

Oh yes. This'll be soooooo good. Load em up, Mask!

It's called Descent:
Part1:

I dove off the edge of that cliff with an angry snarl that echoed across the skies. The birds of paradise fluttered away in a panic as I began gaining speed in my descent. I crashed into the ocean like a black lightning bolt, and I kept going. A gargantuan whirlpool followed in my wake as I progressed even deeper towards the depths of the ocean, still going faster despite any laws of resistance. Eventually I hit rock bottom - quite literally - and I exploded into the earth with the force of a falling mountain. The earth practically melted away as I began shredding my way to the heart of it all. I had already passed through air, water, and earth, and then I hit fire. The heat was beyond any comprehension, but I resisted it and continued through the endless ocean of liquid fire.

And then I saw a door. I remember slamming into it with the power of a meteor, and then abruptly stopping. It cracked open, and I very carefully slid through the crack. It closed behind me.

The room was a black void save for a gray-robed, wizened man seated in a simple wooden chair. I stumbled to him and dropped to my knees, my black wings buckling and folding behind me. I began to sob, and I asked him, "Why?"

He sighed softly and whispered with a voice that echoed with several millenia, "Because it is the law. Without it, you could not exist."

>>1201366
>>1201371
>>1201373
>>1201678
>>1201715
>>1201730

>>1201860
Part 2:

I took in a deep breath and jerked the tears back, exhaling in a rough growl. "So be it. I can survive."

"I know you can. And you will."

"Is that your professional opinion, or experience?"

"Experience, child. But you need to go before you break any more rules."

"Very well..."

"Here...I can help you with that much."

And in the blink of an eye, I was sitting back on top of the sea-castle spire. I glanced down over the edge and looked at the subsiding whirlpool that was left in my wake. I frowned slightly and jumped down - slowly and carefully - to the cliff. A small robin hit the side of the cliff in my attempt to pierce the core of the matter. I sighed quietly and picked up the little bird, holding it close to me. I whispered, "I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again."

Fin

>>1201863
Someone obviously needs to expand their vocabulary

>>1201855
It's not my problem you don't understand how words work.

>>1201867
Nothing more to say than a petty insult? You fags so stunned by my work that you can't speak anymore?

>>1201863
>>1201860
A multitude of unwanted descriptive words. Choppy sentence structures. Shit ending. Shit beginning. "Black lightning bolt" ----> Not possible you pretentious fuck. Overall score: 2/10

>>1201872
I think it was much better than the first.

Love your work OP.

Are you french?

>Fin

>>1201877
He's trying to be artsy

>>1201874
>>1201875
Thanks bros. I thought you guys would like my stuff.

>>1201873
I appreciate you trying to critique it, but you are just wrong.


>>1201877
No, I just think that's a classy way to end a story.

Potential is nonexistent. Suicide is imminent.

>>1201877
He's a hipster

>>1201882
You are a jealous prick who probably just copied my story for yourself, and you'll show it to your friends later and act like you wrote it yourself.

>>1201884
No I'm fucking not. Seriously, everyone stop calling me a hipster.

>>1201872
I may be a shit-tier and green writer, but I can read sentences pretty well.

I'm sorry to hear that you believe being on par with one author, when you were clearly asked if you felt you were on par with all of them (As in, no individual choice) is some sort of mistake on my part.

>>1201863

Professional experience?

Does the wise old sage do his tax returns for him or is this language just poorly used?

>>1201880
I think you misunderstood.
By that >>1201874 , I meant that it was pure shit. So I'll let you imagine what I think about your first story.

Best troll I've ever seen on any board. Damn.

10/10.

>>1201863
>>1201860

More purple prose. So little idea of what the fuck is going on. Why do you have wings? Why did you go to the center of the earth? Who's the old man? You don't even try to convey what's going on coherently. You plaster pretty words to the wall in a circlejerk fantasy, expecting people to think it's beautiful and deep?

Tell me, what themes are you trying to invoke? What do you want the reader to understand? Why do you want the reader to understand this? Do you even have themes? Do you understand what it means to have a deeper meaning?

>>1201886
>You are a jealous prick who probably just copied my story for yourself, and you'll show it to your friends later and act like you wrote it yourself.
>stop calling me a pretentious hipster

>>1201888
You just don't understand it. Stop trying.

>>1201887
How could anyone be on par with all of them as a gropu? They are multiple people, they never wrote anything as a group. Fuck off already.

>>1201892
You're just one of those jealous types. How much you wanna bet you have a copy of both my stories saved right now?

I've never laughed so hard on a /lit/ post.
10/10 Troll OP

Maybe poetry is more your bag, OP.

If you have any poetry, post it! And let us judge you in a new light!

You doing NaNoWriMo, Mask? I'd love to see what you would write for that.

>>1201904
I hope it's a sonnet

>>1201899
>He doesn't understand the concept of being on par with a group of experienced authors

What's that? Is OP's anus bleeding?

Let's hear some poetry, OP!

>>1201904
better yet, I hope he writes a senryu and says that it's haiku

>>1201913

Nice.

>>1201899
I don't know, how much are you ready to bet?
I'll admit though that yes, I am jealous of you. You must be what, maybe 15? You still have time to find another talent. I wish I could change some of my past choices.

You have that chance. Don't lose your time in writing bro.

Hey, OP! Your audience awaits your poetry!

>>1201895
I had typed out a really long post that totally destroyed you, but my thing screwed up and didn't post it. Fuck you.

>>1201904
I'm looking through my annals. I'll try to find something presentable. No promises, though.

>>1201905
I'll try. I may not post it here though for a long while. I'll have to perfect it first.


>>1201913
And they call me pretentious.

>>1201921
I'm working on it.

Hey OP, umad?
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2855271/1/Deep
and
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2855270/1/Descent

100% my works.

>>1201925
You motherfucker. I knew this was coming. I emailed everything I have to myself ages ago. My lawyers will be getting in contact with you.

>>1201925

OH, SNAP!

EPIC THREAD IS EPIC

>>1201929
You obviously hacked my harddrive and stole my works, these are mine.

First visit in /lit/, and I must say that it's a pretty enjoyable time.

>>1201929

You still have copyright, OP. Just concentrate on that poem you said you would post!

>>1201925

I just spit my drink out.
Watch out though. OP will sue you with
>the force of a falling mountain.

Poetry bomb incoming, you plebians.

It's titled: In a Foreign Tongue

I tell you lies when I want
to sing you love songs,
and these ancient spider-words
crawl out of my mouth and become
butterflies in your ears.

You say all the right things,
and I can't think of anything
to say, except
for the words that I have said
so often before, but have never felt
right in my mouth, not as right
as your tongue or sweet tea,
but I practice them every night,
and I wonder if you can feel my jaw
move against
your sleeping skin.

One day I'll learn
the words to a love song
and sing them just for you,
and they will sound wonderful and right and
it won't be a question anymore,
it will be the answer.

It will be everything.

Fin

My poetry is pretty weak, I'll admit it, but you guys asked.

>>1201925
Tears of joy!

>>1201925
A black lightning strike is coming on you man, better use some protection.

>>1201931
Prove it you bitch. I have proof they are mine. You'll be paying me a hefty amount of money soon.

>>1201929
>implying an email will hold up
>not mailing a hard copy to yourself for the proof, since mail is technically an official government service.
Have fun trying to publish works that have already been published

>>1201924

Aw. Just mad cuz you don't know what the fuck you even wanted to say? Too bad, so sad, faggot. Next time, think about what you plan to write and not circlejerk for eternity.

Also, who the fuck told you you were good at writing? Did you mom, or did your English teacher? Better yet, did you delude yourself into thinking you were good and just now you decided to get another opinion?

Here is a good site for you: www.reviewfuse.com

If you really want to get good at writing, then post your stories here. You'll get fairly good criticism and they'll tell you it without any bullshit. Unless you're too smug to post there, faggot.

>>1201935
There is no meaning or deep insightful thought. What I got from this is that the author of this poem has penis envy of men who can sing love songs. The author wishes he was as epic as those men. Obviously is not so he rubs his jaw against a woman and likes her tongue in his mouth. God OP, your shit must stank.

>>1201941
Emails can't be tampered with. I'll even save a copy of this thread for further proof. You're fucked, buddy. Better take those things down.

>>1201935

Bravo, bravo!

Tell me, OP, do you haiku?

OP, like my new poem?

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2855271/1/In%20a%20Foreign%20Tongue

>Picture related: Black lightning bolts.

>>1201939

You are the one claiming he's a thief. Burden of proof is on you.

>>1201935
Dear god I lol'd

>>1201952

I can't stop laughing. Those black lightening bolts man, they tear me apart like a gargantuan whirlpool.

I'll just make one complain Mask.
Stop using "Fin". It's annoying and no, it's not classy. If you really want to point out the story or poem is over, at least do not use a different language.

>>1201950
You can go fuck yourself asshole. You can't even link to the right thing.

>>1201945
We've already been over the smell of my shit, thanks. It's wonderful. Probably smells better than you.

>>1201943
You're not even worth my time anymore, shitbird. No one told me I was good at writing, I just know because I'm not a retard like /lit/. I don't need your shit site.

>>1201949
I've dabbled in haiku. I'll post one in just a sec. I don't know why you want to see so much of my stuff. It's not like you're really discussing anything.

>>1201953
Hurr durr, I said I can prove it's mine.

>>1201961
>Hurr durr
Clearly the mind of a genius with words.
Que de finesse.

>>1201961
Why would i send you a proper link? so you can steal my lovely, immaculate, works of art?

>>1201961

You said you can prove it but you haven't actually done so.

>>1201961

Fine. Take your lightening bolts and mountains and whirlpools off of /lit/! You're laughing us to death with them!

Hand not touching breast
Hundred bombs strapped to his chest
His right hand at rest...

This. Needs to happen more often. I'm a fan of the Super Troll that is OP.

Never before have I seen something so cataclysmic.

>>1201969
I have the emails that I sent to myself. Fuck off.

>>1201968
You don't know shit about art.

Here's my haiku, fuckfaces

roommate is fapping
drown him out with thoughts of death
I'm going to bed

Fin

>>1201971
HAHAHAHAHA you're so fucking clever

>>1201971
You are just a fake, silly. You will never be able to reproduce OP's unique art.

>>1201961

I'm no detective, but you smell like a troll. I demand a time-stamped picture of you holding a drawing of black lightning as proof.

>>1201958

Let me also modify an older idea that deserves enhancement!

'tis a veritable maelstrom of decadent emotions up in here y'all!

>>1201975
>>1201977
I fucking lol'd

This thread NEEDS archival at 4chanarchive.org

DO IT GUYS
DO IT

>>1201971
>>1201975

Oh man. We're in for trouble now. There's two! This just got a million times better!

Must become a great artiste like OP. Must lern to fin.

Nif

>>1201971
Nice haiku. It would be better if you would call it by it's actual name and not a haiku

>Thanks for your request.
>It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
>This thread has been requested 1 times now.

How would his shitty case hold up in court? UMM JUDGE, I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND HUMBLE, BUT I WOULD DO A BETTER JOB RUNNING THIS COURT, BUT YEAH... HE STOLE MY WORKS OF /lit/ AND I DIDNT PRODUCE ANY REASONABLE PROOFS OF OWNERSHIP.

>>1201975

OK, OP. Pretty impressive, but it's just a haiku. Try posting something like a sonnet, or even a ballad. Something a little harder to flaunt your skill

>>1201994

OP WOULD TURN COURTROOM INTO A VERITABLE MAELSTROM

>>1201975

That is still not proof.

I have emails I sent to myself as well that say that those stories and poems are mine. What are you going to do about it?

>>1201994
YOU KNOW I COULD RUN IT BETTER FAGGOT

YOU PEOPLE JUST DON'T ~*understand*~~

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 2 times now.

>>1201990
Good job responding to a half assed imposter, fuckhole.

>>1201994
You're just scared that you will end up in court with me and lose all the money you have, and your dignity.

>>1202000
The emails I sent to myself are dated before yours. Hurr.

>>1202001
Now YOU, I like.

>>1202001
I think he's beyond the point where h could claim he's trolling. :\ this is just sad now

>>1201975
>>1201971
Mistaking haiku for senryu. I knew it would happen

>>1202008
Who says I'm trolling?

Don't make me slam into you with the power of a meteor.

>>1201994

Your Honor, I appreciate your judgment, but you are just wrong. My case briefing and oral arguments are near perfect. When have YOU ever argued a case?

>>1202013
Oh, you're that pretentious fuck from earlier. Hurrrrrr

>>1201993
Archive it

>>1202006
Good job still not writing an actual haiku asshat

>>1202022
This. If this thread goes without archival, there is no hope left for 4chan

>>1201997
I would man, but I've never written a sonnet or ballad. Like I said, I'm just not that great at poety. Nowhere near my prose skill. Maybe I'll take a few weeks and try to master sonnet writing and then come back.

Jesus, what a shit storm! I'm requesting and I so hope it gets accepted. Mask, you're a wonderful, but abysmal, poster, and for all of the work you've created and all the fail you've made, I thank you for a nice night of lols.

But seriously, leave before it gets worse.

>>1202034
Nowhere near your prose skill isn't exactly setting the bar very high

>>1202034
I could do it. In a few weeks too. You aren't trying hard enough, faggot.

>>1202034

OK, fair enough. Do you have any more prose to show us until then?

>>1202034
>few weeks
>mastering anything

Yeah, real life doesn't work like that.

>>1202037

>touhoufag

Shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. Don't even reply to this or I'll slap your shit.

I like OP's prose. It's very imaginitive. It gives me thrills!

>>1202034
It must be past your bed time by now. Maybe you should go to sleep

>>1202037
You just wish you could write like me.

>>1202038
You're probably that fag who stole my work.

>>1202039
Then do it and post it. We'll compare when we're both done.

>>1202040
One more story. One more and then I have to get off for the night. My homework isn't going to do itself.

>>1202041

OP has skillz beyond your [pic related].

4chanarchive.org
Click request interface

Thread Id: 1201366
Board: /lit/

Fill in the captcha

I'll see you guys later, I'm off to master sonnets with the force of a falling mountain.

>>1202051

What homework ya got OP?

>>1202037

Things can only get better

More prose from OP!

Here's my last story I'm posting tonight. It's titled Intruder:

Part1:
In that twisted universe I call home, I felt a disturbing presence. Something had invaded the sanctity of home without my permission.

Something horrible was inside the castle.
In a fit of rage intermingled with dread, I scrambled out of my room and went down instead of up this time. The teleportation found me in a cozy room with stone walls and several crimson tapestries hanging from the high, arched ceiling. A fireplace crackled softly in the great fireplace of the North wall. Two scarlet armchairs sat by the warm fire with what remained of a fine ebony coffee table between them. I disregarded the coffee table and moved on. I heard the sound of something massive grating against the stone floor, like a giant roll of carpet. Noting that the heavy oak door on the South wall was open, I darted for it and sprung through the threshold.

part2:

This took me down a flight of spiral stairs. Instead of stepping, I glided down them. I didn't have time to waste on illusions of humanity, like taking every single step to get to the bottom of things. Not in my universe. In this world, I am a demi-god.
Something inside of me began to well up. It was an emotion that I thought I wasn't going to need for quite a long time. I thought it was unnecessary.
Rage.
I exploded out of that stairwell like a tornado from Hell and let out a vicious snarl as I looked around in animalistic fury. I will NOT have an intruder in my home! I heard that heavy sliding sound again, but this time it came from above me -

MY ROOM!

It was going for my room! With all the speed I could muster in this state, I darted back up the stairs, through the sitting room, and made the jump to the antechamber of my room. All the while this happened, I heard two very loud crashing sounds coming from above. My anger seethed inside of me like a volcanic eruption waiting to blow.

I saw it. A monstrous black snake was slamming its scaly body against my dark door, trying to get into the room.

>>1202046

Is there a problem with my name bro?

part 3:

I shrieked at it, "What do you want, vile thing?!"
It whipped its head around with a deep hiss, and I watched in awe as its mouth moved in strange ways to form words. It said, "Your heart!"
It was in that moment that I realized what this abhorrent thing was. It was in that very same moment that I let out a primal scream and lunged at the beast. Opening like a reversed bear trap, its gaping maw tried to engulf me. As it did so, I quickly extended my wings to their full length, causing me to practically stop in the air. As its jaws tried to clamp down on me. I spread myself out like a star and held its mouth open. It struggled relentlessly as I kept its mouth open, flailing and issuing gurgling shrieks. Seeing that this power struggle could last a while, I made a quick gambit. I bent my knees and elbows ever so slightly so as to crunch my body down slightly. Thinking that I had given up, the monster increased its pressure and attempted to crush me. I then immediately straightened out my body with a final exertion of power, and then -
Crack.
I had broken the jaws of the snake. It let out a bloodcurdling shriek as its mouth released me and hung loosely. I sneered at it as I glided back a few paces. With my left hand, I grabbed my right and pulled off my black leather glove. My ivory skin was in pale contrast to the shadowy places surrounding me, yet the jet black nails with razor tips suited it almost perfectly.

waiting for the fin...

Part 4:

Taking those nails, I lunged toward the creature again and rent its neck with two savage slashes. It twisted and turned maniacally before it finally fell limp. Dead.
My right hand dripped of its blood. Breathing heavily, I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. I'll drag the body out later.
I sat down on my bed quietly and gazed at my bloody hand in silence. Bitterness now overwhelmed me where fury once stood.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
My heart echoed away softly in the obsidian chest by the bed. I watched as the blood droplets of my hand tried to slide towards the chest in some final, desperate attempt to reach my heart. They dried up before they even touched it.
The snake was a creature from outside my universe, yet it was one I had encountered before. It was Sorrow in physical form. These abominations of despair haunt me once in a great while, though some are harder to kill than others. This one...was surprisingly easy. I believe a lot of this is due to the fact that I let this one in without meaning to. While I was preoccupied with more important visitors, my own discontent manifested itself and came running after me, trying to do its best to keep me in pain.

>>1202065

yes, you have outed yourself as a fan of that cancerous bullshit known as Touhou, and therefore invalidated your whole fucking opinion.

Go kill yourself, faggot.

Part 5:

Truth be told, the pain only existed for a very short while. The game is over, and all the cards are on the table. I lost and walked off with second place somehow, which is by far much better than nothing. And yet, it is my own morbid nature that is keeping me down.
An idea struck me. I stood up from my bed and snapped my fingers on my left hand. The silver web appeared. Carefully - very carefully - I rearranged a few strands and twisted some of them back into themselves. I tapped some of them with my right hand and let a drop of blood work its way down the strings. When I stood back from my work, I smirked faintly. I let out an exhale, and the dim white strips of light above me went out. The red strands pulsated quietly in the dark. My solution?

To walk in the shade and accomplish what I need to accomplish for myself, and appear for others when I am asked to appear or when it suits me. Selfish? Hardly. Healthy? Yes.
I adapt, and I overcome.

Fin

>>1202064
Yo dawg, I heard you liked room, so we put a room in your room so you can watch The Room while being in your room....with a black snake.

archive this!

Suptcha

>>1202056
I have some statics homework. I'm gonna be a civil engineer.

>>1202077

FIN!

>>1202062

Last story? OP! You disregard your audience!

>>1202077
There's the fin

>>1202073

>>1202087
My apologies, man. My homework really needs to get done. I can come back in a few nights if you really want me to,and if you fags will stop hating my stories just because I yelled at your dumb asses.

>>1202090
What the fuck is a touhou anyway?

>>1202051
>OP posts a story
>tripcode
>gets fucking whiny when no one reads it
>gets defensive and assholic when we do read it and LO AND BEHOLD OUR RECEPTION IS NEGATIVE
>I read the damn thing
>Pointless bullshit, language is crude and used without any sort of literary dexterity
>"I'M THE GREATEST RITER HOO EVER LIVED"
You really cannot make me hate you MORE can you?
I'll give you this: I like the word introspectre. I can't possibly believe you created it.

>>1202094
Alright you're done

>>1202094
Oh yes, I hope that you will share some of your other stories.
And can I give you an advice? Post the last one on /a/. They will love it.

>>1202084
Not a full time writer? but OP, think of the masses who will kiss the ground you walk on after reading your, dare I say, God-like prose!

>>1202101
I could be a full time writer, don't get me wrong, but I really think it's a bit arrogant to spend your whole life on nothing but writing when it is so easy.

>>1202098
I will try you guys again later. I've got a lot more stories in my annals, and I'm always writing a new one, so we'll see how it goes. I'll keep this tripcode. I won't go to /a/ though. I've heard they are even bigger assholes than any other board.

>>1202106
I can't wait to see what will exit from your anal OP.

>>1202077

Dude! You have wings again? Is this the same character from the Descent? Have you got a series for this guy! You must complete it and post it! And also, name the hero!

>>1202106

>>1202106
>" . . . but I really think it's a bit arrogant to spend your whole life on nothing but writing when it is so easy."

. . . . .

I want to believe that you aren't a troll, but are you seriously sure that you aren't a troll?

>>1202106
Either you're 15 or you're a troll. Go to bed. Also, you obviously haven't seen the people who frequent /mu/

Archived?

>>1202114
Yeah, it's all the same character. He is a great character, I think, so I write about him a lot. His name is Mask, actually.

>>1202119
>>1202120
Hurr durr I must be a troll. Fuck off, I'm getting off to do my homework. See you guys in a few nights. Even after all the hate, I kind of enjoyed this thread. It felt good to let out some aggression out at the dumber posters, and get some semi honest critiques of my works. Later bitches.

>>1202128

Ahhhh, not quite 'la fin!'

Magnifico!

>>1202128
>Last post of the night.
>Forgot your Fin

I'm disappointed with you, bromethius.

>>1202134
>>1202138
Shit, I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean to disappoint. This is my official final post of the night.

Fin

>>1202128
Yes, RUN from the truth. Run from your own inferiority, turn your tail and flee so that you may never face your own failure.
IF YOU REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR WRITING NEEDS (A LOT OF) WORK, YOU WILL NEVER BECOME GOOD AT IT. NO ONE EVER IMPROVED BY HAVING PEOPLE FAWN OVER THEIR SUPPOSED MASTERY OR IGNORING CRITICISM, YOU TURD-FUCKER.

>>1202106

....

Wow.

Shut up. Just shut up. Just shove your ivory skinned, black leather-wearing, earth-boring, black-winged, gray-robed old man talking, haiku fucking, veritable malstorming, silver strand shimmering, cycle of creation defying, spider-words out of your mouth coming (really? that line's fucking horrendous), ridiculously arrogant face right up your fragrant ass.

This isn't funny anymore. This is fucking pathetic. Leave and never come back.

>>1202142
No, you see, his problem is that he's TOO good at writing. Made obvious by his ability to use symbolism, decent structure, characterization, and his ability to differentiate between haiku and senryu.

OP has serious potential

>>1202151
Our minds can't comprehend such mastery: it's like each word is an ocean being forced through the imperfect funnel of our own pathetic intellects (if one could even call such simplicity an "intellect")

WE ARE UNWORTHY, GREAT ONE. HONOR US WITH BUT A CURSORY GLANCE, A MINUTIA OF YOUR MIGHTY ERUDITION, AND WE WOULD BE FOREVER VINDICATED.

Write another senryu and call it haiku

>>1202148

Don't tell people what to do, you cancerous Touhoufaggot.

>>1202174

Yeah... I deserved that.

Sorry about that. I'm just riled up by this guy. I won't stop ya'll from reading OP lovely works later on.

I am now going to say "fin" at the end of anything I do.

Is this archived then? It's a tragedy if it isn't.

Fin

>>1201934

Wow. that was just, well, precious....

>>1202191
>Touhoufag 21 being so completely oblivious to trolling
>resulting facial reaction

>>1202244

He may be a troll, he may not, although the money says he is. I got a little carried away with it and failed to realize he probably was a troll, so that's why I had that redaction.

Hey Troll OP how does it feel to know that this shit >>1202215 is better than the BS you posted here. Out of the degree's of shit I've read from people this one has 10 flies less than your shit.

>Op is going to come back a master of sonnets

Is this thing archived?

I would do it myself, but I don't know how.

You should do it for me. Thank you!