/lit/ - Literature

Yep it's getting to be that time. Time to kill myself.

>>11998029
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I'm watching video on pornhub called Stuffed hot belly where woman crams pie into her belly button. Why? Why is this part of our society? Why am I able to do this at any time with no repercussions? Why isn't this frowned upon? Why don't we care? Why do we do these things?

>>11998032
Edge and lege

>>11998029
/lit/ has degraded more than any other board

>>11998079
pige

One must imagine Sisyphus on xanax.

I hate my fucking dad so much

Why aren't I drunk everyday?

the tranny on account "nudewxxpearls" on pornhub is so fucking hot, better than any of those literally fake ass brazilian hookers in professional porn

>>11998275

pretty hype for this kaido arc, honestly.

>>11998080
based never been on /mu/-poster

>>11998029
I’m too fucking addicted to this site. I was supposed to work on some assignments and study for a couple exams I have coming up this week but instead I blew the whole day away by shitposting. From the moment I woke up all the way till now, I’ve been shitposting. 12 straight hours. I don’t feel any fulfillment from posting on this site, no laughs, no joy, nothing. But I can’t help myself. Just keep checking for nonexistent (You)s on 5 different boards until it’s time for bed. This place will be the death of me.

>>11998193
mine's been dead a year and a half and i grieve him every day even though we never got along and pushed zombie pills on me

>>11998029
If an author writes a book and no one reads it did he even exist?

>>11998284
I was there Once.
Free yourself. It's not hard

>>11998278
I really really like that picture. I wish I could make a woman's left eye move inward like that as her right eye stared onward and her mouth drooped apathetically.

>>11998289
didn't he read it?

>>11998293
How did you do it? I managed to quit for a couple months once when I got really bored of this site but then mistakenly checked back out of curiosity and never left.

>>11998284
I literally don't know where else to talk about literature.

>>11998284
dont feel bad i just fapped for five hours, the weird part is i worked for 5 hours this morning, so i literally just fapped as long as my whole shift but it felt like it went by in a second

>>11998296
>not writing with only the patterns embed into the memory of your little finger muscles guiding you
Look ma, I'm not 3ven looking

Life is the maturity of one's personal cowardice. Man convinces himself that the pleasure he takes in life is virtuous because it allows him to justify the guilt that comes immediately after or during the experiencing of this pleasure. Simply because man consents to his peer's depravity, he is satisfied with it, and enshrines it in the holy playbook of civilization.

In doing so, he commits a cardinal sin against his fellow man, which reaches its peak when he tells him in earnest that his life has absolute worth and that he should regard with privilege his divine place in the kingdom of ends, which is just the opposite - a kingdom of means, and its ends are finite, nor charitably distributed, and regarded with total certainty in the eye of the beholder, from wherever he stands in relation to the dais. The cult of humanism regards the individual in respect to his value as a utility to a greater end which he himself does not completely apprehend, but is convinced still that by the sole virtue of this unspoken covenant between the members of the species, galvanized at the moment one man promised a share of his crop to another when it came to maturity and was taken at his word, the very moment one man curbed his irrational desire to murder his associate and harvest the flesh from his bone without forethought paid to his own position of utility in relation to his victim's (which may be greater and have delivered future prosperity), that this covenant is right and true because it is one score short of having occurred almost simultaneously with man's conception at the Garden. Longevity is civilization's only badge of merit and, as Hume taught us, makes no guarantees as a benefactor.

>>11998303
Depends on how you use this place but if you’re sinking hours into this site like me than it’s best to avoid it. If you’re looking to discuss literature, an actual irl reading group would be noice. /r/literature on Reddit is also ok, better than the normal book one.
>>11998306
How do you fap for five hours? Is it just constant edging or do you just watch porn for 5 hours? I think the longest I’ve gone is 2.5-3 hours.

>>11998284
reward yourself with these kind of indulgences after you complete actual work.

>>11998029
I resent the fact that I'm still interested in an asexual girl who treated me like shit and didn't reciprocate how strongly I felt for her and wanted to have a serious relationship with her. Was just looking at her snap and she's been out having fun this weekend and it makes me jealous and sad. Why do I always fall for girls like this? I know it's not healthy but when I have dick all to do it's hard to help. I flew literally halfway across the world to try to escape my problems (spoiler alert: it didn't work) and now I'm just sitting back at home living the NEET life which sucks. I'm done with college and it sucks how directionless I am right now. Hopefully I'll find something to give my life purpose again soon.

>>11998283
I strongly dislike music and people who like music.

>>11998322
i usually only do the extreme faps on weekends after work when i'm super tired, if i fap on a weekday its usually less than an hour quick session, i find the secret to long and engaging faps is to put a condom on your dick when its soft that is technically too small, like if you normally rock some xxl shit, just get the normie size, and if u normie get the manlet ones, and leave your foreskin up so your dickhead cant' feel anything except that warm orgasmic numbness, it's a little awkward to get on but it makes it impossible to get fully hard, and the constant pressure just gives u a nice numb feeling like your cock is on heroin, then finally as time goes by your dick will go through waves of hardening, but always push against the too small rubber, and so end up softening again, then after a few waves of this some really hot porn you stumble across after hours will just put you over the edge and you will start nutting hard as hell, but you have to be careful cuz the condom will start to slide up and off your dick as you get fully erect, so you be ready to jump up and pinch it off...that's how you do a five hour tantric fap

I want to kill myself but at the same time i feel like right after i kill myself they will discover like advance AI or like a way to travel in space and colonize planets and i will end up missing it because im dead

>>11998354
God damn son. I will use this knowledge wisely.
>>11998357
How much would that really change your life though? Do you think it would fundamentally alter it in any way? Like the smartphones everyone has these days or the age of the internet. They’re really amazing technological marvels that have changed the way our society functions but if some dude was depressed in 1980 I think he’d still be depressed now. Same applies to AI for me at least, it’d be nice to play around with it and explore but it wouldn’t fill that whole on a fundamental level. Just another distraction.

>>11998366
An AI that is smarter than the smartest humans would be world chaging, Way more than smart phones. It would be like the diffrence between mideival times and today. Fuck dude, it would basically be god.

The idea of being able to leave this planet is good to me. Space really is the final frontier. Like if we discovered a way to terraform mars and to safely travel in space i would be so out of here man. I would start my life over as a martian.

These things arent like your little fucking phones I dont think you comprehend the idea of how vastly life would change if we could colonize planets or there were some AI smarter than the smartest humans

this is all scifi shit and wont happen though

>>11998417
Ah you meant sentient AI, I was imagining like more advanced Siri shit. Yeah actual AI like that is pretty much impossible. They’d have to rework the entire way they program artificial intelligence since, at the moment, they’re just really complicated and deeply nested if else statements. True AI would have to work completely differently.
The space thing doesn’t appeal to me. I mean I’d probably go to Mars too and enjoy it for a bit but at the end of the day, I’m depressed and deeply dissatisfied. I’ll be dissatisfied on Earth and I’ll be dissatisfied on Mars. Maybe it’s different for you.

threw up in the gym
should probably not eat so much candy
but its just sitting there waiting for Halloween y'know?

>Socrates and plato basically start the western canon of philosophy on word games
>wittgenstein, derrida, conclude the western canon of philosophy on word games
theres something so charming about this

>>11998286
This post makes me extremely uncomfortable because I know that I will be in your position (zombie pill pushing and everything) at some point in the near future. It takes a lot of work to hate someone you love, doesn’t it?

>>11998029
My existence feels like a grotesque parody of a real person. Wish I was dead.

>>11998029
I was watching Sabrina on netflix, and I realized it was about growing up and realizing that your friends in high school probably will drift away and so will you and im 25 and what have I done with my life but lose the ones I care about slowly one by one and not make an effort to replace them except with useless garbage and it doesnt matter that I'm successful because I don't love the one I'm with and I should and I'm terrible for leading her on like this this but it's stable and we like the same food and movies but I miss Diane and reed and why the fuck didn't I move to seattle with her it's not like I got the degree I stayed here for anyways, but yeah this show is alright I wonder if I should actually watch riverdale.

>>11998471
reminds me of this song:

>Soul Is Sold To Portray A Perfection
>A Beautiful Object True
>It's Just A Parody Of A Person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT007Kluw9Q

>>11998477

>normie watching shitty 90s tv shows

god lit is awful now

>>11998477
Does it really get worse from 22 to 25 socially? No gf here and I'm starting to notice a lot of people I used to be really close with (mostly in the 22-25 year old range) basically just pairing up and fucking off.

>>11998485
nah the new one. Also, lit was never good, go back to tumblr my dude

>>11998495
lit was never good but its worse now

>>11998489
It does get worse if you let it. I interact with my coworkers and get beers after work with them sometimes, but then I go home and wake up in the morning,do it all again and on the weekends I just do shit with the woman who sleeps in the same bed as me.

>>11998500
If you say so. Why don't you cry about it some more. That'll help.

>>11998029
ALL OF THESE VOIXES INSIDE OF MY HEAD
BINDING MY SIGHT IN A CURTAIN OF RED
FRUSTRATION
GETTING BIGGER
BANG
BANG
BANG
PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

>>11998467
>It takes a lot of work to hate someone you love, doesn’t it?
fuck man, you just externalized a huge pattern in my life. my parents had a rough divorce, constant fighting and I just wanted them to both shut up cause they seemed so childish. then i enter into a (5 year) turbulent, confounding, artistic relationship with an emotionally and physically abusive girl. break it off and fall in love with another poet who i end up believing is the reincarnation of mary magdalene and that we're going to save the planet from destruction by making movies under the mentorship of Paul Thomas Anderson and tons of other whack shit (no drugs). the past few years i've been slipping back into clarity and mundanity even but i'm overwhelmed by constant intense thoughts about the nature of dreams, existence, and death and i know in my body that those thoughts of discomfort come from a sprawling network of abuse haunting my memory but that doesn't excuse the philosophical urgency of them. goddamn being human is a fucking curse but i'm so indoctrinated that all i long for is a proper mate who will comfort me and will raise my little monsters to be passionate, caring, and respectful.

>>11998489
>he doesn’t know

If I ever dedicate myself to creating a great work of art, I think I will forbid myself from giving any interviews. That sounds like a silly way to create a mysterious persona, but honestly, I have never been anything but let down from discovering more about the musicians that I enjoy. There is always something lost in that communication when that fantasy shatters sometimes even needlessly and it can't be reassembled. By my count, the one time I've ever been fascinated by a response to an interview question was when a famous musician stated outright that he never cared much for music, and he wished he could be a filmmaker instead. That takes guts to say. Most of the time they're just painfully bland, regular, functioning adults, to the point that it mixes in with their creative output and dulls it from the non. My current favorite band came off like pricks in the interview I saw. And so I don't watch interviews any more.

I suppose it's really that feeling that there's always more to discover. A faith in the ideal of the art that you don't want to spoil by injecting too firmly into it your hand as creator.

I feel vaguely sad and I don't know why

How do I stop being sad

>>11998029
I’m sitting at a Halloween party with my girlfriend but things aren’t going so well. Coincidentally I’ve got to be in the top 3% of well-read people who frequents /lit/. Ask me anything, please.

>>11998482
Hey, nice song anon

How can you ever have writer's block? Just put on some music, pick out a word and write a sentence/line around it. And I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life.

Lying in bed after waking up too early. Ate some leftover soup, homemade bread, and shared some cheese with my dogs. Cleaned all the dishes. Now I feel sort of melancholy. It's slightly cold in my room and I'm under my wool blanket. I kind of feel like a Gondola image, if that makes sense. Like I could put on the Drive soundtrack and relax.

It feels good to make decisions in moments of lucidity. I usually can't and second guess myself or change my mind often which leads to nothing getting done but when I finally make the choice (and for now stick with it) it's pretty nice.

Knowing the story and writing it are really different. Annoyingly so.

i love her, i cant live like that, its hell

>>11998556
I know you were talking more specifically about musicians, but there are some artists whose interviews are always very interesting because they have very interesting lives and personalities. Werner Herzog, for example. He's quite a character. I find him and his life more interesting than the movies he's made, and that's not an insult to his work.
>a famous musician stated outright that he never cared much for music, and he wished he could be a filmmaker instead.
Who was that?

>>11998062
haHa

So my girlfriend left me, I should have known this when she wouldn't even look me in the eye. Everything in my life seemed like it was finally turning around for a change, I had just got a new job and found a girl I that I had so much in common with. But then she became distant and cold to me. I just blew it off as she said she was very stressed out as of late. Maybe we took things too fast, or maybe she was just too scared of commitment so soon. All I know is that she's gone and I miss her more than anything in the world. I don't think I'll ever sleep again.

people are faggoted imbeciles who can't handle their emotions which cause them to think and act like they're in a movie or book because they're faggoted and retard

You can really tell things are fucked up when you google a word and some shitty movie or band or whatever pops up instead of a simple description or definition

>>11998029
panting

churning lava
glowing beneath her skin
yearning to break loose
burn all my kin

so much light
in the deepest recesses of a body
heavy breathing in the night
whispered satisfied affirmations

her soul is what i seek
as her bones long to tear
her clothes apart
and lay bare
what was once part
of a living body

now surrendered
to painful death
suddenly sweet and swift
the meaning of the rift
explained by the merger
it makes inevitable

as the hunger becomes
bloody warm insatiable
so the abyss reappears
once before us

planets in collision
volcanoes ripping apart
primordial surfaces
closing in
in archetypical furnaces
again before us as we collide

feels so good
as horizons slide
mine into hers
as death enraptures
shaking celesties bodies
under starful skies

night falls
the crust cools and dries
on now quiet thighs
and nothing is left to record the event
but quiet sighs

i'll take it and i won't look back

I went to see a choir performance and I notice that I am a conformist sheeple. I automatically followed when others applauded.
The vocals kept ringing in my head. And when I read news I felt I want to join a revolution.

It's so terrible. For the first time I realize that music can make me irrational and political.

>>11999611
>when an npc becomes self-aware

lol at all the commenters on this story who say the story isn't getting any coverage because they are two marginalized "women of color" because everyone assumed they are hispanic, but plot twist they are arabs from a rich suburb outside dc...probably an honor killing, either that or they were hookers to the saudis and pissed off some prince and ended up at the bottom of the hudson river as a result, we will never know because finding out would be islamophobic...political correctness bringeth the concern, and it taketh the concern away

>>11998924
I should say that good interviewees aren't impossible to find - people like Bowie for instance, or John Lennon, are always interesting to learn more about. (I hate to mention musicians only but it's what I know best. As a rule, authors fare much better in interviews, though you shouldn't establish them as superior for this since they're going for widely different goals).
>Who was that?
Jim O'Rourke, a free improv artist that was a well-known figure in the Chicago noise scene last century before moving on to do film scores in Japan. It was such a strikingly honest statement that it's the only thing I can ever remember from an interview.

Probably going to steal some of my girlfriend's adderall tomorrow. I've used it before and I'm curious about the difference between snorting it and taking it regularly.

>>11999637
>fundamentally misunderstanding what an NPC is
The sheeple can't wake up.

Should I get a radio or a record player? I want to be able to listen to something whilst I paint. Not sure which one to get. I wish television didn't kill radio and instead of people watching television all the time they could just tune into the radio at certain times, be entertained, and then turn it off. Television was a mistake.

>>11999891
Radio. Even if the record player has a dust guard, you're still going to have to down tools and wash your hands to flip the record.

wow man the washingtonpost just published an op-ed blaming christianity for anti-semitism

>>11999997
>The man is reported to have said that “all Jews must die” when he entered the synagogue Saturday morning.

can anyone else not get away from reading everything as if it's literature, i mean "all jews must die" because god condemned man to death after eating from the tree, yet christians, through jesus, can find eternal life...was the shooter really that literary or did he just mean it at face value?

>>11998332
Edgy

>On the argument that anyone who uses this site is a brainlet

Anyone who pics up a *real book* (in contrast to printed forms of entertainment or thinly veiled advertisements) and reads and is able to integrate what he reads into his daily life in an ethical way has an objective advantage over those who choose not to. The /lit/eral autism and smugness portrayed on this board is mostly voiced by pseuds who don't put this into practice, or who simply show rudimentary knowledge about specific authors or books, without having actually read or understood them. There are occasionally very intellectually stimulating threads found on this board, as in other boards, and it's the users responsibility to filter out the plebian drivel.
I, as an anonymous user on Channel 4, know that I am perfectly capable of exercising intelligence and integrity in my offline daily affairs. One doesn't have to be dimwitted to find humor in absurdity. I find that a form of electronic entertainment lacking in blatant and dishonest advertisement, yet brimming with dissent from all possible sides, is much more stimulating than the alternative, such as account-based forms of social media.

>>12000042
>lacking in blatant and dishonest advertisement

i agree except for that part, there is a ton of blatant and dishonest advertising on here, that's one place were reddit beats 4chan, there is still shilling over there, but its not one guy with a vpn making 100 threads for his lame self-published crap

How right you are modern electronic print is nothing but advertisement for who knows what. At least with real books you can focus on content instead of sublime consumer brain washing .

Pictures is unrelated

WaPo is total degenerate harpy level with batshit crazy writers with mental illness delusional world views .

Fucking boomers

>>12000057
I can agree to some extent. But again, the dissent shown towards it in any given thread, on the grounds of users knowing a shill when they see one, or to simply play the roll of the contrarian, is the necessary balance that is not found in other forms of electronic entertainment. This is simply because moderation of information has not become the prime directive of this website as of yet, and I don't believe there would be a logical way to moderate in that way, being that this is a platform molded and defined by it's anonymity.

>>12000093
Based zoomer

>>11999891
Why not just use a phone/computer with an internet connection? You can play any album and listen to any radio station

>>11998077
Dubs checked.

>Why?
You tell us; you're the one watching it.
>Why is this part of our society?
Some part of our society wants to see it
>Why am I able to do this at any time with no repercussions?
Access to technology
>Why isn't this frowned upon?
It is
>Why don't we care?
Should we?
>Why do we do these things?
Because we can

>>11999997
Link?

>>11998567
You're at a party. Why are you glued to your phone instead of interacting with the other people?

>yfw when the new testament is now hate speech

check mate christ fags

>>11999891
You strike me as a pseud who’s only interested in these platforms due to a vague assumption that it will make you different, despite the fact that radio broadcasting and record hipster shit are two massively popular things.

>>11999891
There is nothing worth listening to on the radio. You have a device which can access the web. Use it to play something that is conductive to the creative process. Records are nice, but a cumbersome commodity. Modern pressings cost an exorbitant amount of money, and large LP collections end up taking up space that could be used for better purposes. If an album is available on cd, get the cd. If it's only available on LP, get a digital rip. Cassettes are just meme format. Trust me, I have over 400 of them and can't listen to a single one because *reliable* players are not longer available on the market for *reasonable* prices.
This is also dependent upon which style of music you decide to listen to. If you prefer to listen to music that glorifies modern urban living, I have no advice for you, and your paintings probably suck anyway.

>>11999997
Washington Post is owned by the Moonies who think all other Christians have rejected Moon as their Messiah and therefore are in the hands of Satan.

>>12000042
>I, as an anonymous user on Channel 4, know that I am perfectly capable of exercising intelligence and integrity in my offline daily affairs
I feel like I'm in a Brass Eye skit.

“Bricks without straw are more easily made than imagination without memories.”

fuck fuck fuck. I'm a wageslave living in a fucking groundhog day time loop and my memory is going to absolute shit. I barely remember my childhood aside from a few bad memories that I unwisely spend a long time ruminating on during adolescence. How the fuck do I start actually remembering things again, and make some memories that are actually worth remembering?

>>12000227
I agree about the record players, they're just too much space, money, and effort for what they do.

>>12000464
i would never buy one myself, let alone the records, but some of my friends have them and it is honestly kind of nice to have the whole little process of taking the record out, putting it on, arragnign the needle etc. It makes you more likely to actually justlisten to the album in its entirety at all, given the inconvenience of changing it. Not to mention it's fascinating that that needle on the grooves even produces those fucking noises

It also makes it immensely easy to buy them birthday and christmas presents

I'm not trying nearly hard enough. No wonder I'm a dissapointment. I need to push my limits again. Also >>11998062 and other incoherent rage sounds

>>11998029
I've been going back to church these past few weeks to strengthen my faith and make new friends, but everyone there is such an aggressive normie that I'm finding it hard to form deeper connections.

>>12000480
I do agree in theory, but even as someone passionate about music there was no real difference. My hearing sucks though and I can barely tell 192kpbs from 320, so if you're an 'audio enthusiast' you might be justified there. If I really want to feel alone with the music, I just get my headphones out, hook them up to my PC, and listen to music from my bed in the dark.

>>11998284
I've gotten to the point where I can blast through the catalogs of 3-4 boards in just under an hour. Then after that I'll only come back if I want to check up on a thread I saw. Try giving yourself a daily time limit.

FUCK being sick while living alone. I need a gf just so I have someone to take care of me. God knows what would happen if I got really ill, just lay in bed until I got better or died I guess. I miss living with my parents, my mum would always try to make me feel better.

>>12000717
oh dont be such a fucking pussy, imagine getting sick when ur living in some forward operating base in afghanistan swarming with taliban, if ur like some gay ass tranny ok fine, but u better not be some toxic masculinity kek fag who rants about s-o-y all the time

whenever i fap i like to imagine being a tranny and living with a dominant boomer dad who takes me around to suck tons of dicks and get fucked, but then i look in the mirror and i'm super masculine like borderline chad, where can i find a shrink who can help me overcome gender dysphoria rather than encourage me to chop my balls off?

>>12000868
unironically get into some fistfights

>>12000717
>my mum
god I hate bongs so much

It's always a sobering feeling when you realize someone you love doesn't give a shit about you. When you realize they just use you for their benefit.
I always knew. But now I know.
But I think that's it for me, I don't think I have anymore love to give to another person. I never had a lot, but I'm spent. I really don't think I could ever be with someone long term and this was the final attempt. A hookup (if I could ever get one) will be enough to stay off the surface loneliness, but the deeper loneliness I don't think I can do anything about

wow ibm is buying redhat, i wonder if that was what was behind the recent push to ban linus from his own project

>>12000921
Quick, unsolicited advise for you: You won't likely fall in love again in the same way (it will be a shadow or parody of the former experience), have sex with someone of comparable attractiveness as soon as possible. This isn't self care, it is not a justification for your loss, it won't recoup your losses, you won't really feel better; this is just to establish a coping mechanism so you don't die early from depression. There is probably no hope to get back to that level of happiness but having a source of pleasure and entertainment that's not vidya, books or drinking will be of some use to you. Good luck. I won't offer condolences because frankly I feel nothing for you or anyone else I encounter online, but I do intellectually grasp your pain.

>>12001032
>but I do intellectually grasp your pain.
So you feel for him you retard

>>11998332

>>12001048
No, I just understand logically why he feels the way he does. There's no emotional response nor do I extend my intellectual response into some attempt to try to force an emotional response. I wouldn't help him any further than maybe replying to his response should he choose to return to the thread and answer my post with his own. Just, it was an opportunity to give someone sound advice that would have helped me, but only because I'm curious to see how he and others would react. I really just don't care what happens to him or you, and he probably deserved what happened (as did I). there's no empathy there.
>>12001094
Are we not allowed to admit that we don't feel anything for other people? Is this really, a place where we ostensibly can be as honest as we'd always hoped to be, another realm of performative feelings we couldn't possibly have and dissimulation of our real thoughts just for the sake of keeping assurances and comforts that we all cling to socially? You can't in this halfwit confessional thread give someone some advice and then let them know, so they don't waste time blubbering at you, "oh i don't really care what happens to you, you're just a source of intrigue?". Silly.

>>12001032
Getting a hookup is easier said than done desu. I don't know any other girls. I'll probably just jerk off with an onahole

>>12001118
All forms of sexual release are harmful.

>>12001121
Good.

>>12001118
Yes, but if you lower your standards and learn to be available as an object of sexual interest to women they will respond in kind. Understand that you're a replaceable and valueless commodity but that because so many other possible partners are, potentially, you could become a woman's lover for the night at basically any time. Take advantage of your own groundlessness emotionally, become a bit colder anon.
>>12001121
Please leave the grieving idiot alone christfaggot/tradfag

sleazy ZZ makes fun times under Timbuktu bunker rush. dont fear the sweep creep

>>12001130
Maybe. But is it wrong if I just decide to stop trying to pursue women? If a girl were to try and pursue me then that's fine. But I think I care little anymore to try and go out of my way for some chick

>>12001163
>is it wrong
there is no such thing as wrong anon. You've merely inculcated the expectations and aversions of other people and made a heuristic out of past disgust-preference in your own life and then given it this totemic moniker "wrong" or "right". Leaving aside the ethics, you would be doing yourself a physiological disservice. Unless your goal is to be as psycho-somatically miserable as possible, to have constant body aches, erectile dysfunction, to gain weight, to uglify your face, to become a useless wretch to yourself and a bore in conversation you'll want some carnal pleasures in your life. At the very least do some heroin or cocaine, don't be a walking corpse.
>I don't want to pursue
that's fine, just make yourself available and be willing to extend offers to women who are behaving like retarded whores in front of you.

>>12000921
I know that feel anon. I had been in a weird, poorly-defined relationship with someone for a while. Our lives were chaotic and we were both moving in and out of our city for various reasons, but we spent every day we could together and talked constantly when we were apart. Earlier this year she was coming back to town after having been away for a couple months, we spent the week before talking about all the things we wanted to do and how happy we would be to see each other. She was supposed to come over to my house the evening she got back. So I sat there, overflowing with happiness, waiting. I waited, and waited, and waited.

I found out the next day she had blown me off to go to a party, and just like that the light went out of the world. I guess it sounds pretty pathetic written out, but the fact that the person I loved more than anything in the world, the one that gave me an excuse to be happy no matter how shit the day may have been, and the one who had sworn I was just as important to her, could so casually abandon me broke something in me.

That was in april, and I haven't felt the same since. We haven't talked. She hasn't even tried. I'm not that sad about it anymore, I don't even miss her anymore, not really. But I miss being able to love something so completely that nothing else in the world matters. I've tried going on dates, I've met people who are objectively better than her, and I just don't care. She took my ability to care. I'll never care again, I think. I know it's trite, but how could I love again?

>>12000921
The concept of human love should not be thought of in an objectifying manner. Your love is not an object that can be handed over or an essence springing from a finite source.
Love that has gone unrequited for too long can be one of the most psychologically harmful experiences a human being can endure. After a trauma, closure is often sought. When closure is sought from outside sources, only further harm and overall dissatisfaction can be found. Seek your closure from within, and most importantly forgive that which is without. Your forgiveness of the other is fundamental, as is your forgiveness of yourself for having gotten into this situation in the first place, with only the best intentions in mind. Know that what others do to harm is usually not intentional, and if it is it springs from their own insecurities which have no business becoming YOUR insecurities too. Observe nature, anon. In nature you'll see that there is still Goodness in this world. Goodness that far outweighs the perceived evils brought about by the deeds of people who refuse to acknowledge their own inner imbalances.
It's easy to cut yourself off from others after you've been wronged. In fact, it seems as the only logical conclusion at times. Seek your closure from within, and look for the difference in doing what is easy, and doing what your heart tells you is right.

Mods deleting shit like the LTV thread is finally driving me away from this place.

I'd really like to lower my neuroticism

>>12001222

u dudes are making me sad man, i used to be in love with this super sweet girl but she lives on the other side of the city (nyc is fucking huge might take 90 minutes to get were she is) and i never see her unless we try to make our schedules work to meet in manhattan or whatever, sometimes she would text me with the most innocent little things trying to keep the relationship going, but come on she's always working and when she has time off we have to commute for an hour to meet, so i just hangout with friends on my part of town, if i dont fap for like two weeks i'll start to get horny and try to make plans to fuck but that just seems so assholish, so i just try to fap regularly, plus all the grad student roommates i used to have when i first started seeing her moved out and now my building is just filled with fortnite playing proletarian kids from the local hood, its too embarrassing to have her come here now, and i cant afford a better place at this point, damn now i feel like authentically sad

>>12001247
do what Jordan Peterson said about waking up in a specific time and a big breakfast. i'm also highly neurotic and found that advice to be really helpful

>>12001245
Did they really? I mean that thread was shit as every thread on political economy is but it certainly belonged on the board.

>>12001245
they deleted that thread? what the fuck? i wasnt in it cuz i dont feel like rehashing marxist bullshit atm but that was 100 percent legit thread

>>12001259
>>>>>>>>>>>>>/his/

>>12001259
>>12001264
I agree. I was enjoying that one, and I got some good recommendations on understanding Marxism. It was at 200+ posts and I don't understand why it suddenly got deleted.

>>12001268
the labor theory of value has nothing to do with history you mong

>>12000717
This is what I'm scared of most. Gonna move out soon

>>12001259
that thread was actually mostly fine and not shitflinging about helicopters and bootlicking

>>12001272
it is economics/philosophy, thats his. does anyone discuss fucking books here anymore?

>>12001278
its not that bad when u start to get sick go to the store and buy medicine and then just chill in bed listening to audiobooks until you're better, then again my mom never helped me when i got sick she would just say its my fault for not eating enough vegetables or some bullshit

>>12001283
/his/ and other boards are trash for economics/philosophy discussion. lit is pretty much humanities general (and /lit/ is not good). actually /lit/ is /r9k/ with a "theme"

>>12001283
well in that case can you get that dumb accelerationist guy who shills his self-published trash to fuck off to /his/ then

>>12001296
This. I don't understand why a thread on Marxist theory would get deleted, but the accelerationist general is allowed to stay.

>>12001222
yo i was seeing a chick who does the same shit are you in new york. lol imagine finding out were both sigma orbiters to the same chick

>>12001283
That would be fine if there was any consistency to the enforcement. This thread is even more off topic than one on value theories.

>>12001278
It's really not that bad. I immediately got an incredibly bad bout of bronchitis when I moved out and while at first you feel sorry for yourself, you soon get comfortable and can deal with it.
I did get really drunk one night though and made it worse so, you know, don't do that.

wow london thread got popped before i got could even get off a snarky reply mods on fire tonight

>>12000502
I'm thinking about doing this too anon.
Can you describe how the interactions with these other churchgoers are like and how you even initiate them. At my church they give you coffee after the mass maybe I'll go there in 4 weeks when they perform a Bach cantata.
What was the first time you went there like?

>>12001340
i want to go to mass but im shook like what if do something wrong and a bunch of guidos beat my ass, when i was in jail some irish guy beat me up because i didnt know the lords prayer or whatever

>>12001222
Fuck, that sucks anon, I can relate.

I have been in love with my girl for over a year. There has been times when we would get together and connect and us being together would seem so close, then she'd retreat. Now she hardly talks some weeks and talks all day next week. But she uses me, for comfort, reassurance, homework help. She says she's very into her school and intellectual pursuits, but she constantly shows it's a farce in ways I can see. She constantly tries to make herself seem a certain way to me for some reason, says she hates drinking, doesn't party, is a loner, loves to read, etc. Pretty much trying to make herself seem like a movie character or something.

But she called me late last night, I could tell she was drunk and I could hear tons of people in the background, full of the type of talk and conversation she always makes fun of. And I realized she didn't invite me, she has her group that she wants to be with, I'm not in it.

there is quite a lot wrong with society, even the word

The mods just memory-holed my post and all responses to it that pointed out the bullshit deletion of the LTV thread. Reminder that the mods have a clear agenda. There was nothing wrong with the Marxist theory thread, and nothing wrong with my post pointing out it's deletion. Remember to screencap often, I wish I had.

>>12001404
>londonfrogs thread got smoked
Is that what happened? He was ban evading to begin with wasn't he?
Seriously though I do worry about him and oxfordbro. Yes they were pathetic and annoying but I really hope they didn't kill themselves.

Just threw my laptop in a dumpster earlier today, good fucking riddance

u dudes gotta check out that ban list page once in a while some funny shit on there lolled like 3 times which is more than the zero times i lolled all day reading mod approved bullshit

https://www.4chan.org/bans

>>12001426
lmao at all the "garbage outside of /b/", so much of it is clearly par-for-the course.
It's the only thing I've ever been banned for, my reply was just standard political banter mocking Trump devotees. Garbage yes, but no more garbage than the rest of this site

i screwed up my shit schedule by taking a crap at midnight last night, now ill never get back on track

>>12001257
I have been actually. I don't wake up precisely the same time but I've been eating breakfast and gained an appetite. I'm not feeling physiological pain I usually might, but I still can feel little bits of anxiety for no reason sometimes.

I can get my ex back with a text.

This power feels weird.

>>12001485
same with me man, i guess it doesn't vanish over night, and a lot of other JP advices were trash but this one rings true to me. i've been feeling way happier and less anxious and particularly more "alive" in the morning because of it. anyway, good luck

I visited barnes & nobles today. Casually browsed the classics, considered buying a russian novel. Looked through the manga section and resisted the urge to buy that fetish manga about a fat elf. Walking through the mall afterwards I saw a female marine and had a short fantasy about raping her. I'm at home now. I don't think people like me should exist in this world.

>>12001413
Londonfrog was insufferably narcissistic and sociopathic

>>12001535
I'm sure you could just find the elf manga online very easily and masturbate to it now.

>>12001620
I already did

>>12001658
Hot desu

I thought we loved each other, we had everything, similar passions similar interests, sometimes we even finished each other sentences. I really thought we loved each other, and for the mess I'm left in now i know that i loved her, i loved her with all my capacity, I couldn't sleep at night without picturing her face. If I loved her this hard then whyd she die, why would she commit suicide, how the fuck was I supposed to help and be there for her, I fucking tried and I did every thing I could. I cried and cried but shes fucking gone. I thought she needed love, I thought her pain was similar to mine how was I supposed to know, how could I have known, I was too fucking blind to see her pain, I should have sensed her pain when we kissed, I tried my best but I failed, I'm so fucking scared that I might follow...

>>12001671
Yeah but i've got that after-fap existential guilt feeling now

>>12001496
Are you a stranger to power?

>>12001709
You don't have anything to be ashamed of anon.

I had a dream last night that I was passenger to my Dad's car crash and kept screaming to slow down. The piney woods around us became a mashed potato whirl and started spinning into brown darkness. Everyone keeps saying how tired I look today. I'm having a beer at the bar--Kentucky breakfast stout. It's pretty good.

>>12001806
my fat fetish is pretty shameful

>>12001820
Did the road look like turkey stuffing?

>>12001827
More like cranberry sauce

I am mediocre. I spend my free time numbing myself, and consequently am dumbing myself down. I've been given gifts that I don't use. I'm am a waste of my abilities. I am aware of all this, but do not have the motivation to try. Do I even really have these so called abilities? Is this laziness, or the by-product of my fear for failure?

Is my fear for failure the product of the fear of affirmation that I really do not have these so-called abilities.I am not special.

>>11998029
Fuck niggers.

Do any of you go about life with almost zero motivation? Mine is dropping by the week, this time looks to be especially painful. I don't want to do the laundry, or study, or get up even. It's not good.

How do i stop thinking about work all the time? My evenings are just counting down the hours until work the next day and staying up as late as possible to try and avoid it making me permanently sleep deprived which just makes the work day even worse and the weekends offer no respite either. I really can't handle the wagie life. I don't know how people do it. Everyone i work with is absolutely miserable but we all go there everyday.

>>12001879
I feel like my whole life is defined by what i don't want to do rather than what i want to do.

I am a disgusting slave and desire to be free, yet I oppress myself into servitude. Why can't I shake this? I wake up and think about killing myself. Before I rest I think about killing myself. It is as if I'm a machine. But I know I'll never go through with it, for my faith in the Christ prevents me. So thus I continue to suffer by self imposed means. Can I ever be free of myself? I have become an empty, soulless husk of a man and yet I protect my soul from damnation. Am I to be a mortal, walking contradiction? I await the sweet release of death.

>>12001821
You're only human, she is very cute. Besides, my fetish is whipping people into shape, I share your messed-upness.

>>12001906
Well since there are almost no performance benchmarks you have to set, you’re not working on projects at home related to it, and I’ll take a guess that you’re in retail, you can just forget about it. Its mindless nonsense. If you’re sleeping properly you have 16 hours of waking time a day, them subtract 8 for work, subtract 2 for bullshit and transit and you have 6 hours a day to enjoy yourself. 2 for entertainment, 2 for working out and fucking around and 2 for socializing. You get the weekend and then days where you go home early. Make the best of this.

>>11998062
pretty much this desu

>>12002033
This is meant to be encouraging but breaking it down like this just makes it seem ever worse. I feel like a crybaby moaning about basic shit but i can't get over it. I've spent years in this state.

>>11998293
I never knew sam had such tiny legs

>>12002071
Can you not quit your job? or is it the idea of all work that does this to you?

>>11998330
Why are asexual girls so sexy?

>>12002106
All work. I can quit but then it's just going to be the process of finding another job and the cycle repeating. I've gone through jobs before and it's all the same shit.

The first snow fell today.

I spent two hours mindlessly watching random YouTube videos instead of doing something more meaningful and I ended up on a Vsauce one where he talked about the Library of Babel. This shit messed me up and I can't stop thinking about it.

>>11998321
You clearly don't belong here. This is a board of childish retards. Find a real home.

I just want something or someone to pour love into.

>>12002107
Idk, she's really the only asexual girl I've ever been in interested in. She didn't even really identify as asexual, she just never was interested in doing anything with a guy before I started hanging out with her. She would never have sex with me even though I tried lol, oh well.

>>12002281
You know anon, just because she doesn't want to fuck you doesn't mean she's asexual. Maybe you're just awkard, lame and very unattractive.

>>12002318
It's possible I'm awkward, lame and very unattractive. I've fucked a handful of other girls before too and been in relationships, I'm not some incel. Either way we fooled around a lot and did sexual stuff besides sex.

>>12002332
>did sexual stuff besides sex
tell me more

>>12002338
Have you ever had an earjob?

>>12002345
aaaand im spent

>>11998032
cringe

I remember in school one time we were split up into two groups and given 10 minutes to write a poem in response to some love sonnet that was in our textbook. I picked a theme and had fun asking the other people in my group for random words and making them coherently fit into the rhyme scheme and meter of a Petrarchan sonnet. After we read each, someone in the other team said something to the effect of "That's not fair, you had [anon] in your group!"

In the worst way, I feel better about it now then I did then. Back then, I knew the format was doing all the work and I was just having fun amusing myself and my friends. Now I hold on to that memory like a limp-dick version of Terry Malloy. I could have been somebody!

I want to write again. Without pretension or ambition. I don't feel passionate about anything in any respect and I'm not even trading it for security or comfort. I'm under constant fear that everything in my life will fall apart if I don't collapse first.

>>12001858
t. definitely thinks he's special

am i banned?

What the fuck is going on? Why is the world so crazy these days? Am I the only one who notices this? Are there any 90 year olds around who can attest to the variation of the political climate of various decades?

I remember the 90s vaguely as I was a child. I was cognizant enough by 9/11/2001 to understand what was happening and to watch news report. That seems like the event that kicked it all off, and we are still living in the wake of it.

How do I know 9/11 is connected to the unraveling of today? First of all it brought the US to fully commit to anti-terrorism operations in the ME, a commitment which has tangled the country in an unwinnable war against an idea. Secondly, the invasion of Iraq was the first wave in the refugee crisis which spread to Syria and Libya and elsewhere, creating massive social tension in Europe.

Furthermore US meddling in Central and South America explains much of the discord now polarizing the immigration issue in the US. Were those countries not transformed into dictatorships and banana republics by the CIA and embroiled in a drug trade fed by American consumer's appetites there might've been more stability in the region and today's problems could've been avoided.

Why do we have people going off the deep end and shooting up schools, churches, or themselves? Why is the opioid addiction crisis a thing? Why do we see such an upsurge of hatred and mean spiritedness? Are these trends related or are they independent? Yes, perhaps to a lack of purpose and community and love in people's lives. But why is that so prevailingly missing?

I can keep pressing the issue further to no end. I guess I'll keep fighting with it in a series of chained posts. (tbc...)

>>12002786
dude you think the 80s wasnt crazy with sky high crime, crack epidemic, aids epidemic, iranian revolution still fresh, proxy war in afghanistan, nutter shoots reagan, and on and on, then consider the 60s...or the 30s....sorry but this decade aint shit

brazilian trump is in! MBGA!

so is balsonaro really "far-right"? after all the crying wolf from the media about trump i have no actual idea what far-right is supposed to mean anymore

>>12002786
Going back to my previous array of questions about why people seem to be going crazy in greater abundance than usual. I want to say it is a complex multifaceted symptomatic pattern of a corrupted sociology.

Each man who acts out in these conditions is typically an outcast, one of the many discarded individuals in today's all or nothing age of inequality . These men drift apart from society and encourage their own bitterness and hatreds online, such as on the site you are currently visiting and others. Their hatred and sense of resentment grows further as they see fellow-travelers in the path of self-destruction online validating their outrages and sense of being wronged.

They thus continue to drift apart and find ample ammunition ideologically to fuel their rage. Politicians encourage hatred and violence and vilification of enemies. A longing for community belonging and tribal identification is cut out through antagonistic us versus them rhetoric. These weakened and spiritually defeated men drink in in the black water of this corrupted libation, offering their own bodies to a nihilistic project of annihilation.

The will to destroy as Durkheim pointed out is common among societies in decline. At this point no objective observer can look at the current state of the USA and say it is in universal harmony and prosperity. It is tearing itself apart, both explicitly through high notoriety acts of domestic terrorism or undirected gun violence or implicitly through the gutting of the commonwealth under Trump's anarcho-capitalist vulture policies.

America has become a nation hunted by its own imperialist shadow, haunted by the massive forces it has unleashed into the world on its quests to enlarge manifest destiny beyond the scope of its original intent. Destruction has become its only expression at several levels of the society, so that it is not much of a society at all. Its foundations have been detonated by people payed handsomely for the pleasure. Its civil discourse has been befouled with antagonistic and counterproductive rhetoric dictated by its own so called leaders. Its people live in fear and distrust of one another. It is experiencing a collective psychosis driven by the very technologies and economic structures that once gave it dominion over the world.

In my next post I will attempt to explore possible solutions to these problems.

>>12002794
I know there's always something in every decade. The 60s and so on. But people who lived through that say that today is worse. They should know. In all ages there are ones who claim these are the end times and that it won't be long before it's all over. It never comes. But logically one of these times that person will be right.

>>11998284
Spam /v/, you will get a 3 day ban and be free

>>12002825
oh it's some leftist with trump derangement syndrome, take it to reddit, nerd

>>12002796
>>12002810
What does it matter? It's Brazil. It's not like anything world-impacting every comes from there.

>>12002837
Your inability to articulate yourself is a sign of the problems plaguing this country, you benighted hillbilly.

Stop living in ignorance. You won't be allowed to ruin this country and this world.

>>12002847
If you care so much, what the fuck are you going to do to stop it? Complain on a Javanese charcoal rendering bulletin?

>>12002825
The irony of fake news is that the trump administration is one of the greatest purveyors of it. Taking a play out of Putin's book, Trump has filled the airwaves with misinformation and misleading suggestions, unsupported assertions and other spurious claims. This has gas lighted the country, driving some people literally insane. Once people's ability to discern reality has been disrupted, they can then be made to go along with anything and to accept ever more draconian measures. Soon the slippery slope reaches its conclusion. Once the level of public discourse has been reduced to childlike outbursts and tantrums, there is no effective means to mount a rational analysis of the facts. Once there is no more thinking about facts, those in power who possess the facts can do what they will with the citizenry.

So all that is needed is simple of fashioned critical thinking. Don't believe a single thing any politician says and make up your own mind! Doubt everything you see online and think like a librarian when it comes to sources and fact checking. Once truth is defeated, anything goes and all bets are off.

>>12002870
You can't do anything unless you think the situation through first. I happen to be doing that publicly now. 4chan just happens to be my perfered void to shout into at the moment.

All I'm trying to do is rescue the truth and think clearly. This basic function is under assault by the likes of you. Once that is secure, then I will proceed to a praxis.

I'm thinking of taking up extreme egotism as a preventative measure against suicidal thoughts. That would be a straight path to destruction for some people, but my issue doesn't lie in self-hatred or anything like that, but rather that I've lost all control of my life. I want to feel normal, but I can't. Because of this, I get pessimistic and short-sighted, and all the plans I create in my disheveled state of mind fall through, leading to a downward spiral where I put less and less effort in because I'm convinced I will fail so why expend the effort - you know the rest.

Well, what if I really try this time? I mean genuinely try, by putting in effort. I know it'll sting more this time if I fail, but thinking in terms of 'if' is still a huge step up from thinking in 'when'. I'm really tired of this cycle of defeatism, guys. It doesn't have to be this way. I have everything I need to do something great, so why don't I get at it?

>>12002829
No they don't. You're just making up shit now. Find a single person over 40 in New York who doesn't think the city is better than it ever was in the 80s or 90s. Same goes for everywhere. Unless they're some bougie smug hippy who somehow thinks that their drug hazed partying did any good.
It's the same cyclical rejection of past traditions and wisdom, the hyperbolic treatment of current events, and the hypersocial ease at which you are able to affirm your positions that you have been able to come to these conclusions about the world. It's a lack of humility. It's shit. Just stop and go read something that challenges your positions. You're so sure of your wide vision, your almost omniscience, and your rhetorical questions always lean on some fucked wall, as if you're so close to the Truth. Get over yourself.

>>11998029
The question still consumes me. Why are we here? I still don't know and the thought that I will never know keeps me up at night.

The thought occured to me about four months ago to stop caring. To forget the question that haunted me for over fourteen years and simply enjoy the now.

A part of me feels it is a nice idea. I only wish I knew how to let go. It is day one-hundred and fourteen and I have yet to go longer than two days without returning to the recurring loop of thoughts that torment me still.

Is this the onset of madness? Am I finally giving way to the pressure I place upon my own shoulders? I can only hope that should it go so far, I retain enough sanity to stop myself from hurting others.

>>12002245
OP here, anyone know of good books in line with my excerpt?

>>12002886
>shitposting will save the world
Holy fuck, you’re serious aren’t you?

>>12002886
You are the Acadmiea™ NPC Model.

I decided to listen to The Conspiracy Against the Human Race since I saw Ligotti recommended a few times in recent threads. I'm about an hour in.

I don't understand why nihilism would be the basis for horror or dispair if you truly and deeply accept it. It seems like you would need to hold on to a romantic notion that life OUGHT to be meaningful, in order to derive any angst when confronting the fact that it isn't.

>>12002830
But evading bans is too easy, I couldn't resist the temptation.

>>12003113
I can't believe people agonize over such a useless question. If you found the answer, what would you do? Would you even believe it?

being a human is fucking disgusting, we're all just shuffling our body organs around trying to end up in the most comfortable spot while we have the knowledge that the universe is filled with literally nothing. each and every one of us would accept any kind of conditions as long as they housed the continuation of our skins. the only thing redeeming about us is that we have a sense of humor and some of us have genuine kindness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL93BV9uTAM

Evola was right
the new west hates adventure, demonises masculinity, outlaws any activities which are too dangerously life affirming, venerates weakness and seeps spiritual sickness out of every pore

The morning fluttered out. I never brewed so much joy without my little maid. How dreary! The hospitable house behind thither landscape listens, but only one or two legacies withheld. "Tell me what Peter promised," I said softly. He scanned the grave for heroes, as if a hundred years had come and then hopped a single star.

>>11998077
But in a way it's amazing, isn't it? What other animal partakes in refined cuisine and then uses said cuisine for a degenerate and deliberate act? Humans really are amazing.

The forklift and the load to be lifted if the counter balance is further back. Artful pose of falling leaves. "When the king of the people measured the mead alone nobody can make it out here." Then the warden of earlmen gave him requital. So in letters of rune on the clasp of the handle gleaming and plated rings. The lord of the geatmen went lowering with fury to look at the wonder. "Show me how to do like a sack left on my beach in Africa to me. Brief innocence dawn of the day hangs heavy. " Then the warden of the scyldings who the sea cliffs of the nesses netherward rattles a forklift. Do not turn a lift truck steering wheel when moving and the load is not positioned against the heel.

Sort of feel that those Jews got what was coming 2bh

It's sad that those nice Jewish old ladies got caught in the crossfire, but what did they expect? You keep pushing around goyim, you keep humiliating them and taking away their power, eventually one is going to push back

Jews usually don't realize that they're bullies, but it's true. They're easily the most privileged, hectoring, and obnoxious people in our society today

I think the way the guy went about it was wrong, but I understand his anger

I groped a woman on the skytrain before getting off. I had never felt a breast in my entire life and I saw this really fat chubby just standing there so before the doors opened I pushed and squeezed into her breast. It felt amazing. I then ran as fast and as far away as I could. Good thing it was at one of the more secluded skytrain stops so there weren't any transit police there to stop me. I was wearing sunglasses and a hoodie so there's no way anyone will ever know that I did it. I made sure to not touch any hand rails or anything else when I was running away. I've already driven out to the river and tossed the clothes that I was wearing into a garbage bag and thrown it down stream. I really fucking loved the feeling of the breast and I am hoping one day I can lose my virginity. I'm very nervous around women so I will probably remain a Virgin for some time now.

polyphony is for protestants

>>12004103
I need a new Dostoevsky to write a slew of novels about the new generations of craven outcasts like this which our glorious modern times have produced

>>11998029
I really want this one girl but she does not requite my love. Probably going to kill myself sooner or later.

I'm 6'3 and my facial aesthetics are 8/10, broad shoulders, intelligent, well-read and a good sense of humor but despite all that I have had very little casual sex in my life. I cannot for the life of me stay hard while wearing condoms, no matter how many I try, it's more frustrating than erotic to have sex with a condom. I attribute it to me being circumcised. The only thing that comforts me is that I can stay hard and withhold ejaculation for literally as long as I want while raw.

I have only had sex with 3 women despite being in my early-mid 20's and despite all my advantages. My sex with all of them was unprotected, typically we go home, make out, feel eachother up, then I try with a condom, it gets soft, then I mumble something about how I can't stay hard with a condom but I'm clean and then they consent to unprotected sex. I have not caught anything so far but there is no way I can try to rack up a high score like that because I will inevitably get STDs.

I've come to conclude that I had better just get married as soon as possible so I can beat my wifes pussy up everyday without having to worry about anything. I guess I can get (non-violent!) revenge on the Jews responsible for my circumcision by marrying early and having 4 or 5 white children.

The reef fish are masters of life. Remarkably, all seabirds have a profound grace. They gather in immense swarms, which will feast on every passing mackerel. These ancient scavengers are often the first of many animals to venture outside amongst the coast. One thousand individuals breed here at a depth of 4,000 metres. This impressive event coincides with hundreds of sharks and hungry adult seals also hunting for food. Right now, there's another kind of seabird in the world. The marine creatures of the mud nests are so powerful that the greatest turtles that live in salt water seek shelter. But they are trapped. Microscopic algae grow between the deep waters and the surface. Juvenile dolphin populations become sexually receptive for any mammal. Their movements attract attention from armies of plankton. In their eggs are ripe and gentle microbes. They're the next great whales of the moon.

Don't you wish you were schizophrenic just so you can feel like people are around even when you're alone?

>>11998029
weebs
>>11998284
this, but only 2 hours and i do have fun

Elephants are typically 23% sexual. They appear asian. African elephants are incapable of rotating their heads. The elephant is made by human sperm. This occurs when a male is very decisive and may produce several species. Further studies suggest herbivorous lions are usually solitary. Adult males exist in zoos. Elephants tend to stay religious, particularly for conservation of their dead ancestors. They can enlarge indian kingdoms near water sources. Time away from their mother's support forms the trunk, although 60% also spray dust onto the largest recorded ( genitive ) bull's wet spread core they can see. This strengthens the elephant's shape, and zimbabwe killed 3.2 elephants in a day. Elephants are the smallest of all mammals in january. It is time to protect elephants.

How do I get my wife into rimming?

>>12004244
This post is only informative if you can look past the schizophrenic bullshit. It’s like a challenge. Cool

>>12004207
i've got schizoaffective and it was cool at first having delusions of grandeur like there was a supernatural fight club going on in the school's track across from my house every night that would disappear whenever i'd show up and a bunch of shit like that. but now i'm just left with this one unconquerable delusion and that's the afterlife. i don't believe in heaven or hell and i don't believe in death. i think the universe just constantly changes, and whatever's behind it has a longing to offer life a chance. i believe in Jesus. i've never heard voices. i'd like for my thoughts to break new ground so i can move on but i just can't imagine leaving this world.

your post gives me a solipsistic shock, because the world is filled with people. this mass of sentient flesh yet most of them would call me a fag for even having this thought. i imagine the entirety of existence being boiled down to a single thing: a glance, an old guy taking a book off a shelf, a dog on a grey beach, a girl getting a haircut. you can offer up any image here but the point is that my time in reality is spent pondering the imponderable: oneness and its elusive behavior. i have a really good memory and my head is constantly flooded with scenes of my past and the wondering that when my body inevitably fails will i return to some time back then? i've been bit by melancholy's sweet forgetful whim . . .

you don't wanna be like me dude.

>>12004189
You can feel better than any doctor knows. You need to research the world of beauty. Online, your body will be a real maxfactor. For more information, call 888 425 to take control and actually improve. Because you're twice amazing, i am twice the same. Only 10 dermatologists recommend robitussin. Moms listen to their pediatricians, who overwhelmingly recommend advil for prostate diseases. It works 24 hours a day for two days. So why choose to change? Get over it, you can't matter to your doctor, and you don't to the staff trained in healthcare. Gillette cream is perfect for you.

Seems to me that everyday a giant woman isn't toying with my petite pathetic self, using her huge toes to lift me up and down, is a day not worth living. I wish that I had a more realistically applicable fetish so I could share it with a loved one. Alas, it is impossible.

I despise that casual sex is normal and acceptable in society.

I woke up with terrible vertigo and haven't been able to do much more than sit in bed since. I really hope this isn't a new chronic illness I'm going to have because I'm already somewhat disabled and this would just be cruel.

Also if I end up bed ridden while still in my twenties I'm actually going to kill myself.

The world is full of giant kangaroos. They are faster than we ever imagined. It's just how it is. They'll no longer need people around but if they remain submerged in mystery, they will break the world's back. Meanwhile, maurice williams of the mountain is the master of all. His legend grew, and even without government permission his family were able to survive. Give him new computers, and he, the wolf, he says he will soon surpass china. They are hunting for the world's only american. But when he was in charge of birds, he realized earth itself was overthrown.

The iphone 8 is fantastic. It doesn’t want to be so great. Apple’s the most powerful thing in the history of humankind. It’s easily the best year of my life. When i saw the screen improvements it just makes me happy. Skip to the market and give people a new phone that feels dramatically affordable. Go ahead. You can buy it now.

>>12004409
First time reading Flann?

A two weeks ago, I met a girl in an uni course (she started talking to me). In these day, we talked a lot, and it felt like there was a connection. She loves to read, somewhat cute, suffers from depression and nevrosis. Like 30 minutes ago I went on her Facebook and I found out that's she has boyfriend. Everytime I find an interesting girl, she's ALWAYS already engaged or similar shit. Unbelievable. I guess I'll end up as a wizard or something, despite being nice looking and almost wealthy. There would be a lot more to write about this a situation, but one thing is certain: the frustration inside meis enormous right now

my life has exploded, i don’t care about anything i used to care about, and i keep waiting until i reach the tipping point and off myself

>>12004434
hello, Steve Jobs...

I look sad even in selfies. Even when I smile i look like that old guy meme. Fuck.

Funny how the WWOYM threads are the only intelligent ones on this board.

I have so little free time.
I'm not sure if I should spend it reading (LOTR again and The Origins of Totalitarianism) or playing MTG Arena. The white/black deck they give you for free is quite fun.

I'm smarter than you. I'm an idiot.

Extremely depressed.
Want to create literature that isn't garbage.
The world is going crazy.
I'm tired on not being successful, or happy.

I just started reading Yukio Mishima's books- they seem good so far.

Im trying to follow up at what Im good at, and Ive realized that its not writing generally, but specifically none fiction writing, mainly on the political academic side.
No fucking clue what to do with that information. Is writing politically just a publishing death sentence?

>Im not amazing at NF, but all the feedback Ive gotten from it seems to be positive, compared to fiction which I just come across as mediocre or worse. Im not giving up on either.

>>12005183
The question is not only wether you’re good at it, but do you actually like it? Do not determine your career path based on what others think of you alone. You won’t succeed unless you’re passionate about what you do.

Do you any of you here miss "real" social interactions? I haven't talked with someone irl for more than 2 years, and at the start i remember feeling really sad about it, but i think i've finally come to terms with it. I remember that just talking to someone for like half an hour was already mentally exhausting enough for me to spend the rest of the day feeling tired. I do worry though that i'll get into my 30s and realize that i'm not "living" life because i don't have a girfriend or friends (not even online desu).

>>12005283
join a martial arts dojo, preferably full contact sparring. Fighting is a form of communication too desu

>>12005283
>I haven't talked with someone irl for more than 2 years
Literally how

>>12004377
Pathetic

>>12004248
Have you asked her about it? Make sure to wash your ass first

>>12005368
I've been thinking about this. Initially i'd do boxing but i saw articles on fighters who become literal drooling retards by years of being punched in the head. Yeah i know if i were to do boxing i wouldn't be at their level and probably no major harm would be done but i'm a paranoid neurotic faggot, i wouldn't be able to live thinking that i could become a retard the next day if i get punched with the right intensity.
>>12005405
I have no friends and i'm a NEET. Literally how do you make friends and get a GF?
>inb4 get out of the house
To where? After a certain point in life there's no way to make friends.

>>11998029

>>12005501
Like, no- really. Get any type of job or activity to get out of the house for a few hours a day, every day. How to get friends? Be friendly. It's not hard, this coming from a former NEET who used to be so psychotic that after getting a degree at Uni didn't leave his room for 4 months or get a job and felt an extreme ammount of neurosis and depression. I just decided I didn't want to be miserable all the time, just most of it.

I am addicted to stealing pastries and ice cream from the self-checkout at Giant

These pills my psychiatrist has me on make me constantly hungry, and it's just so easy to walk off with half the store

>>12005520
Tbh i don't have problems with making acquaintances, that is, in the work environment i usually have 2 or 3 people that i can struck a conversation to pass the time (and this might seem contradictory with the NEET thing but i used to work). But none of these people translate intro 'friends', you know. They may be decent people to hang out after work for some hours and so on but none of them really is intimate enough. And i see that this is a problem not only with me, since i don't think i know anyone in a work environment that has a intimate friend there. It just seems that after you reach a certain point in life people become just tools, such as "passing time tool" and so on, there's no more that friendship that you find in school or college (and even that type of friendship is 'fake' or a mere tool, since i don't know anyone who is still friends to this day be with me or with other 'friends'). Now, when it comes to GF i'm sure it's impossible to get one (for me, at least). Women simply dislike me. I'm a ugly (a 4/10), balding, manlet who doesn't know how to talk them. I've tried to make friends with females but it just doesn't work, they always end up making excuses to go talk to other people or the conversation just don't flow. I think it's because i'm ugly, they think it's an insult an ugly man coming to talk to them, they probably think i want to fuck them or something, which of course i would be lying if i say that i don't want to, but genuinely, a lot of the times i just wanted a female friend.

>>12005570
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp1VqfcbroU

This is about Elliot Rodgers, don't be an incel anon FFS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavZbQHbuOk

This is Shuzo Matsuoka, this is the attitude you need.

http://www.mediafire.com/file/ni9t0w3av2x060o/Sun+and+Steel.pdf

This is a book about why you need to build your body.http://www.mediafire.com/file/ni9t0w3av2x060o/Sun+and+Steel.pdf

>>12005594
>This is about Elliot Rodgers, don't be an incel anon FFS.
What are you talking about, anon? Just because i'm a virgin doesn't mean i hate women lel, i just sense that they in general seem to "dislike" me. I think this is how blacks feel when they go to a store and a guard starts following them, like "i'm hated for no reason". As for the other things, i mean i'm content with my body, i used to go to the gym but surprisingly after 2 years of sedentary life, i'm not fat, just skinny.

>>11998029
Permitting women to vote was the most disastrous decision made in civilization's history.

I forgot how bad this site got. I went on /v/ to talk about the new red dead all they do is post scanty anime pics, porn, complain about not being able to genocide people or just throwing /pol/ lingo around. I don’t belong there anymore, as I feel my brain cells leaking out of my ears when on the board. I wish things go back to the way they used to.

>>12005700
>Hmm yeah, NIGGER. That's it i said the NIGGER word. Here are some crime and IQ stats from niggerhatefacts blog. No taboo will stands before me, i'll say NIGGER and there's nothing you can do about it.
This is how half of the boards feels like some times. I'm not even against the right that much but it just seems that /pol/ homogenized the whole site.

>>12005736
Exactly, I just want to talk about video games not black people. Reddit is to fake for me though, so now I have no place to talk about games.
But at least /lit/ is still good for the most part

>>12005283
I'm the oppossite, at first I welcomed it but now I see my life as a dead end, I think I'd love to be back where I was with my shitty, flaky friends and nervously making moves on girls I didn't really fancy. It been so long tho that I don't know if I can remember what it was like

Coffee beans

>>12005700
I wonder why video games in particular are so horrible to talk about, everyone seems so mad and tribalistic, all the time.
There is NOWHERE on the internet where you can talk about new video games without wanting to blow your brains out.
Is it just because edgy young teens are the biggest consumer group? If so then why aren't anime and comics so badly affected? If so then why are some older fans of games also so unbearable?

i'm considering transitioning in order to sell more copies of my poetry book and by transitioning i mean saying stuff like "i'm the prettiest girl in the world" on twitter and not changing my body appearance in the slightest

>>12004909
I think his books might just make you more depressed.

Right now space is on my mind. Space is odd, innit? It's funny that I occupy my little spot right here, and that everything has a location. And that location changes over time, however subtly or drastically.

Space is weird. How does it relate to everything going on? Without it, there wouldn't be anything going on to go on to.

It's weird that the earth exists exactly where it does, and that the sun is located in this vicinity, and same goes for the galaxy and local cluster and everything else. Can you believe space is big enough to fit billions of galaxies? Galaxies are big things. I mean really big!

Space trips me out. According to relativity it is the cause of gravity, or rather mass distorting space locally creates a gravitational indentation in the geometry of space time. Well would you look at that!

Everything I want is in space, everything I need is in space, but everything I fear, no, fear exists in its own dimension. Same goes for other subtle emotions. Consciousness is its own space and its own galaxy.

Did you know at a certain level of magnification the universe looks like a giant web of brain cells? Could that be the mind of God we are peering into?

>>12005405
>Pathetic
Why?

>>12005570
All of my high school friendships were "passing time tool acquaintances" level, granted I was not very social. The only real friend I've had in my adult life was an online one.

I regret trimming my beard a few weeks ago and have started growing it out again. I always regret it when I trim it down and ask myself what was the point? I like having a beard.

Im starting to not even care if being a NEET again means I have to break up with my gf. I loathe wagecucking and Ive hated every job ive had and likely will ever have with my very average intelligence.

my therapist and i were talking about existential stuff and i explained to him that i don't believe in creationism or evolution, i believe my parents had sex.

however, if i have to imagine the whole of humanity (and i'd rather not) it makes me believe that God started the process of evolution. that makes sense to me.

I'm surrounded by overgrown children on a power trip. They're brainwashing me and turning me into an embarassment. They pollute everything around me, it's like a plague, practically biblical in that sense. It's like a wave of corruption, eating away at the goodness and purity of the world, an unfaltering notion of deceit that makes you doubt every cough and shifty glance and adding them to the neverending stream of belittlement. Do you know what it means to be powerless? To see a grinning face literally watermarked across the entirety of your field of vision every time you think something evil? These people thrive on misfortune and malice and don't believe in a hell. What else could create such a definite example of wickedness and hatred than the devil himself? Do you really believe that the notion of immorality you follow is only limited by what humans know to bad? Do you honestly think that if one man can always be more malevolent than the next that this value will eventually bottom out at the limits of human will? Do you seriously think that this whole situation is nothing less divine intervention by forces we couldn't even comprehend? Are you so naive as to believe that we are the end all be all of this universe? I know what repentance and retribution are and believe me when I say you'll get yours.

>>12006258
I had two friends in HS that at that time i'd consider real friends. After that no one, and you'd ask that if they were real friends we'd still be friends, right? Everyone followed different paths and i could no longer recognize them on the street. This seems to be normal in the world, but normal people in general don't care about it because they have the 'power' to make a lot of friends. What is a man without social skills to do in these situations? He barely can make "friends" if ever, and when he does, inevitable time takes them anyway. And it's hard for me making online friends as well. Discord and similar apps and steam or whatnot are for kids, and autists in general, that even if you find some one within your age range, it's still hard to find someone that relates to you. I may sound pretentious, but i also feel that the more i read about stuff, the more i get knowledgeable, let's say in logic and philosophy and these kinds of topics, the larger the gap between me and the average human grows. Not the "intelligence" gap or anything like that, but the ability to relate to them. People that have these interests for example are probably having a career in these fields and not only are way more knowledgeable than i but they probably have their impenetrable social circle as well. The biggest problem with people like us is inherent in ourselves, there is something inside us that makes relating to other people hard, and that goes beyond what i stated about reading more. You'd think if it was just "le social skills bro" we could get better and find friends but no, the problem is unfixable, i think. Even if i improve my "social skills" that still leaves me with no real friends, only "passing time acquaintances" as always.

>>12006396
I hate brown people too 2bh

>>12006404
>"passing time acquaintances" as always.

The problem is that's what friends are lad. I'm fairly similar in a way, though I can't really read because books are still written be people, and giving another person that much control over what I imagine isn't something I enjoy. Not to mention I really just don't like most people.

>>12006434
"I know you are but what am I"

>>12006452
Not true. Friends are this at a basic level, but there can be more connection and intimacy on top of that. The problem is everyone is so disconnected and most people are only seeking intimacy from a romantic relationship if at all.

>>12006314
>Im starting to not even care if being a NEET again means I have to break up with my gf.
who would you need to do that? is she a golddigging whore?

When you come in your hand first it is thick then it gets watery. His conscience suggested a tissue. That had the dry feel.

>>12006470
It'd be mpre unique if she wasn't. The real reason is generally even if a woman is self sufficient, she's hardwired to be put off by a total lack of ambition, status, or secure way to provide, which is basically what being a NEET is.

>>12006404
Honestly the more I see people around me the less I'm interested in trying. I don't like them and it feels hard to relate. I'm lucky I got a friend at all, if he keels over or fucks off one day I'll just stay isolated.

>>12006464
This world only gets colder as you get older my guy. Nobody ever really tells you that if you don't have close friends by the time your 20 it's basically over.

Wow. I heard so many good things about Guy De Maupassant. I thought he was some god tier author. Turns out he's absolute shit.

>tfw I'm writing another essay length shitpost in formal register instead of doing my compsci hw

>>11999999
>>12000000

A piece about failure is inevitably successful, because even failing at accurately dealing with failure is nothing but theme coherent

last night i was thinking of tweeting “it’s hard being the dreamer for the family” but decided not to cause no one wants to see family shit on the twits. then i had a dream my brother got in a car wreck. this morning he hit a deer. he’s fine btw

>>12006631
Social media is such a cancer.

I made an argumentative post on /his/ about a subject that's been bothering me and the guy didn't reply anything. I hate that shit.

>>12002420
I despise you and everything you stand for

>>12006657
There's no point in attempting to argue on 4chan. I generally assume that it's somebody being stupid on purpose and ignore them.

>>12004103
Sad and disgusting

>>12003262
t. NPC

>>12004103
Hilarious and based.

>>12006734
Balanceposting is an interesting phenomenon, but you're a fucking virgin

>>12005283
>I haven't talked to anyone for 2 years
I had NEET phase for 2years. After which for a year or 2 it fucked my ability to socialize and I became kinda autistic, especially around women, and that autism and social anxiety fucked the prospect of getting the girl of my dreams. I sort of miss NEET phase now though. I was more content and less tensed back then

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSQjx79dR8s

hey i/lit/erati, literary equivalent of this enchanting song of genuine passion?

>>12005736
It has became a site were redditors can be "le edgy and le based"

>>12006824
and the slight confusion accompanying the vision thereof

>>12006795
You're just a dry and dull flaccid-dick that cant see the humor and humanity in such absurdly impotent tales.

>>12006931
you're just laughing at >>12004103 then?

>>12006960
One doesn't 'just' laugh at the underground man.

>>11998080
Go to /his/ or /g/ then and feel proud.
As for my own thoughts.
I feel as though COINTELPRO injected this site with concentrated AIDS juice in the form of stormfags and this site is all but redeemable now.

>>12006978
so what

>>12006993
Nothing. You don't get it, go home poor man.

i don't see the point of doing anything other than raising a family. and yet i post here. every day. i have about 500 tinder matches, couple a them have led to sex but it's mostly just half-hearted conversations that leads to me saying something weird because i think it's funny.

Should I just ask her out at this point? Or just end it I guess. I'm barely interested anymore but I can't make myself look for others while I'm chatting someone up.

>>12005700
This is a RARE wojak.

I'm not going to eat for the next few days, this is absolutely ridiculous. No matter what I eat lately, even with regular portions and skipping meals to 'make room', I get awful gas that makes it incredibly hard to focus on anything. I guess all the other shit wrong with my life just wasn't bad enough, so they had to throw on a little extra.

>>12006481

Have you considered doing something for yourself that isn't wage cuckery? Obviously if you want to be a NEET that is yoir choice to make. I completely understand your hatred of it and feel exactly the same way. People that say they enjoy the servitude of working under someone else are absolute cucks.

The only way I could see it as not cuckoldry is if I were a first responder (not a cop because fuck cops).

>>12007006
you must have high iq

>>12006536
>tfw one (1) friend I still consider myself somewhat close to
>tfw he lives in a different country now
Should I just give up?

>>11998029
There's this girl I follow on instagram because she's cute and she also looked interesting, with nuanced/apparently ironic political inclinations.
I found her /pol/-tier twitter account, however, and it's so disappointing...
I wonder if she sees herself the same way she sees black people in America, considering she lives in aboriginal land as a white girl.
Stupid thot

>>12007084
I'm not that anon.

The act of artistic expression itself is the important part, not the resulting product. In allowing himself to serve a channel for beauty the artist accomplishes his selfish purpose, that occasionally this results in an object that can be admired by others is merely a happy circumstance.

I seriously don't see how humanity as we know it makes it through the century. I doubt everyone will die, but I also very much doubt the world will be recognizable. I just hope the ride isn't too harsh.

A part of me wants to stop living, but a mix of things keep me going. I worry about something worse (hell), I worry about that people who will need my help in the future. but I also worry that by merely existing I'm making the world a worse place.

I can't not care, but caring is so hard.

>>12007455
I hope you make it.

I have a sore throat but not that sore, like it doesn't hurt anymore but I still sound like a frog, like if pepe had a fucking voice, like I've been on this site so fucking long that it's crept in through my mouth and curled up in my throat and will sink slowly into my lungs until I suffocate, and I don't want to die but fuck, I'm born and it's too late, way too late, it's 3:05AM and I gotta sleep but I just chugged another cuppa, and now I'm procrastinating on my cv again, my cv to get my first job, my first job at 24, Christ I've wasted my fucking life, doesn't mean I have to waste it forever, forever's a long time and time is flying, it's 3:08 already and my eyes are heavy, like the whole goddamn world is heavy... Fuck it, I'm going to bed.

>>12004295
I love you. This was the one thing that made me smile in this sack of shit thread.

Hello. I am a 19 year old autistic boy, who studies Computer Engineering at a mediocre american public university. I am stuck here because I obtained a 2.0 my first semester(personal issues and brainletdom), so despite a 4.0 spring semester and my prospective 4.0 this semester(I have high A's in all classes and will see that this does not change), I will never be able to get the scholarships I would need to go to an established private institution. The two english classes I have had I have loved. Even studying the bland short stories and politically charged left-wing pseudo propaganda articles they forced on us first semester. I like certain aspects of my major. Math is nice, but I've already completed all math courses I needed for my major and am 1 class away from a math minor. Programming is okay, its just discrete mathematics. Science, specifically chemistry, electricity and magnetism, circuits, etc etc, is awful. That is what my major consists of for the next 2 and a half years. More and more science classes, filled with more skinny autists such as myself. I read in my spare time, I hardly have enough time to write a journal entry a day between work, school, and fitness. My creativity is collapsing. The few friends that I've made recently have been english and art majors, and the best conversations I've had are them talking circles around me parroting whatever their welfare-whore of a professor had got them to believe. I know a liberal arts degree is worthless in the job market, but I feel like my life will be useless if I don't pursue some sort of creative endeavor. I make enough money as a part-time pizza man to pay all my bills, and work for my grandfather in the summer time to pay for tuition, so my student loans are minimal. Is it really as dumb as everyone makes it out to be to drop a stem major for liberal arts?

Recently reestablished contact with this cute Christian girl who was a good friend throughout 12th grade. I posted some new poems to a poetry collection I hadn't updated in a year and she read, and liked, them. Sadly she is stuck in STEM and I feel bad for her, I hope I don't sperg this up.

I'm too scared of being hurt and I think this, along with my low self-esteem, is preventing me from making any deep connection with women. Hung out and got some drinks with a girl last Friday, don't even know if she likes me, don't even know if it was a date. I have a crippling fear that I'll never see her again. Too scared to text her for some sushi later this week because I have a feeling she'll say no and I'll be even more depressed. I keep telling myself that rejection is just a part of life and that it'll happen when looking for love, but I can't seem to actually internalize it. I wish I could make something beautiful out of my sadness like Louis CK did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQTbkEeCTeM

>>12007559
>stuck is STEM
t-this is a thing? did you read my post, the one right before yours, by chance, anon?

>>12007576
Damn, I sure didn't. Apologies anon. She essentially told me she was being pragmatic and wanted a job and CS is a hot field right now. If you can't find time to read, listen to lectures or audio books or even podcasts. Personally I give no fucks about being a jobless loser because my uni is paid for and that's all I need for now.

>>12007559
Good for you anon. I did a similar thing last year right down to a cute christian girl I was good friends with in 12th grade. Didn't end up working out but it was very nice for a little.

>>12007543
Why not do something like straight CS? It's almost certainly easier than computer engineering and I can't believe there are many computer engineering jobs anymore. It'll probably give you more time too.

Ultimately though anon I don't know what to tell you. I was in a very similar situation to you, I was too scared to jump completely out of stem so I switched to math (in my opinion the most humanities-like stem subject) and made sure to get software development internships, etc as a backup.

I guess you have a choice to make: pragmatism and likely long-term material comfort or authenticity and (possibly fleeting) spiritual comfort

>>11998029
...

>>12007610
I am sorry about that anon. I hope you have found your qt.

>>12007323

It doesn't matter. We are all one.

>>12007574
my friend (whom i just got off the phone with) began his first novel with that epigraph from Louie. here it is if you're curious: http://expatpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/thousands_final9_24.pdf

I wish I understood myself and my generational culture better, but I also feel like the knowledge might deprive me of the genuine, earnest enjoyment experienced by others of my generation as they partake in trends.

>>12006218
This post was written by Karl Pillington and there is nothing anyone can do to convince me otherwise.

>>12008220
This post was written by Karl Pillington and there is nothing anyone can do to convince me otherwise.

>>12008267
Head like a fuckign orange.