/lit/ - Literature

>>11960486
Love is overrated.

>>11960486
boobies desu

>>11960486
The internet is my only point of contact with other human beings so I end up taking posts from anonymous people online too seriously and personally. I wish I could stop posting since it isn’t good for my mental health.

>>11960604
yo thats sounds awesome i hate contact with other human beings

>>11960604
Destroy your computer, anon

>>11960486
thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REM1KeDoh04

I just don't know lads. I think I've fallen out of love with literature.

>>11960486
I have come to the conclusion that all my problems come from my being a massive coward.
From now on I am going to try to be less self-conscious, and make as many half-baked, off-topic, aggressive, uninformed, and pseudointellectual posts on this board as I possibly can. Hopefully doing this, and receiving the abuse that will inevitably follow, will help me become a stronger person.

>>11960631
Anime is for degenerates. Read some Baudrillard and wake up from capitalist hyperreality already, you fucking sperg.

I need to stop buying books. First it was The Great Gatsby, a week ago, since I thought I should reread it. Then I bought a book on developing trends in technology. And tonight I took the bus to a big store for used entertainment and bought The Republic, Tao, essays of Montaigne, Crime & Punishment translated by Garnett (/lit/ scared me away from my P&V edition), and a black leather journal for note-taking Plato. Currently though I'm still on Gatsby. I'd say it's still very good, but I now see a few flaws where there used to be none. I'm also rather confused how I'm meant to interpret the actions of Daisy, and if we really are meant to imagine her bursting into hysterics out of nowhere. I suppose the point is that she's really a child, but still, it's weird.

That is what I've been up to. My mother called and told me to have a good time tonight for my birthday and this was all I could think of. In the bookstore I saw a boy with brown hair playing with legos as his mom sat and watched on the opposite. I made some dumb mental joke in passing before realizing I used to do that exact thing with my mother in stores, and they looked just like us, and it made me kind of sad. But I'm alright.

Thanks for reading my blog.

>>11960646
>From now on I am going to try to be less self-conscious, and make as many half-baked, off-topic, aggressive, uninformed, and pseudointellectual posts on this board as I possibly can. Hopefully doing this, and receiving the abuse that will inevitably follow, will help me become a stronger person.
This is not going to work. I promise you. You aren't the first brainlet to have this idea.

>>11960646
>wake up from capitalist hyperreality already, you fucking sperg.
I know you're just testing out your silly idea now, but at least try to make sense before I put your dumb solipsistic hyperreality in check.

>>11960646
Negative posts only hurt you if you make yourself vulnerable first. That’s why people on /ic/ get so mad whenever they get roasted, cause they’re art is very personal to them. Getting attacked from shitposting wont hurt you at all. You should try posting your best writing or poetry in an arrogant way and have people rip it apart. Only then will the negativity harm you.

>>11960683
I'm already over that idea, thanks for being the guinea pig.
The part about being a coward was true, though.

I want to be with her so badly, it's almost all I think about
And yet, if I were to ever be with her, I can guarantee she would drive me nuts and I'd hate it

got a 400 word essay on some German films due in three hours.

Anyone here have sort of a daily uniform? I am trying to pare down my stuff and be less consuming of things, so I figured I'd start there and simplify what I wear. I pretty much wear the same stuff every day (not literally) already, so it's not too much of a leap to do.

Reduces decision fatigue, too.

guys i think i accidentally found my mom's dildo :|

pretty sure that's what it was. there was a latex glove next to it. i didn't want to look too hard and i got out of there fast. what the fuck can i do to wipe this memory from my mind. please.

>>11960797
Scotch

Really, really want to ace this calculus test

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday I'm just gonna grind. From 6AM-bedtime I'll work on homework. Then I'll redo all the homework problems for the sections my professor mentioned might be on the test. Then I'll do some review exercises and look back over the past test

I WILL conquer these Asian termites. I will squash their insect brains

>>11960577
no my dear. It isn't

https://thinfiction.com/stories/1072/trepidation-inside

>>11960486
Chris Langan is extremely underappreciated and his works have the potential to change the world

I frequently find myself rambling via text or otherwise to friends. They never seem to understand my vision and even if they do I can be a bit intense at sometimes (I'm not one of those wanna be intellectual, wanna be deep nerds) I have quasi radical political beliefs and vivid dreams of the future I also have a deep sadness and seeting hatred bubbling underneath the surface. I have decided that the best thing I can do for my mental health is to start writing essays. I feel like that will be the only way I can truely express my wonderful and special feelings and ideas

>>11960944
What topics?

>>11960740
>400 word essay

This is like a paragraph or two. Fucking do your homework

There's something deeply satisfying about not caring. It's like that feeling of waking up in the middle of the night and wanting to go back to bed. No chemical drug can quite reproduce its effects. Apathy is the ultimate narcotic.

But as with any tranquilizing satisfaction of an urge for gratification, apathy can be disastrous. Sometimes you must resist the urge to go back to sleep, delicious as it temptation seems. Your house could be on fire. Action may be the only missing variable to a better life.

Sometimes life's hurdles can seem so momentous that no effective action presents itself. We are unable to inwardly articulate our next action because the substance of the situation has been reduced to the status of a question mark. In such moments of internal deadlock, apathy is its most tempting. Drift away. Disengage. Forget about it.

But it is precisely at that decisive interval where it all comes down. You can't turn away. You can't back down. You have to act and break the pattern of a dysfunctional history.

I legitimately look like one of the JUST's wojak memes. It's amazing what wonders a cold, stress, lack of sleep, years, and a steady diet of cigarettes and alcohol can do for the body!

My skill looks like a dirty piece of saran wrap, like the wrapper of a child's bologna sandwich that got kicked into the dirt during recess. The space around my eyes look like a crack addict raccoon's, like I'm becoming emperor Palpatine or a vampire. While I still retain physical strength, my body is a pile of agitated and antagonistic bones and forces arrayed in a constant battle with each other. I feel as though I could physically detonate at any second.

>>11961162
*My skin looks like

We are part of a unique transitional phase in the West. People who seek meaning and non-materialistic pursuits in life will generally fail to breed, and we will be culled over the next few generations until all that's left is a society of worker ants. Many of us won't have progeny that live to see the future, and I increasingly think this might be a good thing.

holy shit sixnine rapped over that vladimir cauchemar beat lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7jfM9A6R-k

>>11960486
I want to write m/m romance but I've seen a lot of people fail before me and I'm afraid of adding to that failure too

I thought I would have moved on by last spring and yet here we are, the weather getting cold yet again.

>>11961216
wtf are you talking about? the only people breeding are hasids, , hindus, catholics, and muslims...materialistic people just abort their kids so they don't inconvenience their lifestyle

>>11961284
i feel u i told myself my situation was temporary for about 5 years now

>>11961273
I don't want to report you but if you post a gif like that again I'm going to sledgehammer your kneecaps

>>11961297
what are you, some kind of faggot? that's just two dudes kissin'

now someone help me write romance about two dudes fallin in love, or else

fez has a good soundtrack,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXfos-mAMMA

say what you want about phil fish but his game sounds chill as fuck.

My fly was undone for a good twenty minutes in that fucking restaurant

>>11961286
I'm talking about the West, especially the most profit-driven Anglo societies like the US and UK. The wealthy and yuppie WASPs/Jews/Asians will do okay, they're the ones who will continue to make up the ruling class because they're the cognitive and monied elites. It's the other 90% of us wageslaves who are either going to be forced to become a part of their worker ant society or be culled out.

>>11960486
How do I become more sociable? Many of my peers want to get to know me better, but I get so anxious and tense during basic social interactions that I can barely even perform them without making a fool of myself. I can rationalise that none of this matters in the cosmic scale of things but for some reason I don't represent this in the way I act. It's not that I'm socially isolated either; I have friends and I talk to lots of people daily, but I can't seem to shake off this anxiety. It's hard to open up and get to know people when it hurts every time I do so. It's hard to even meet the idle gaze of bus or train commuters without feeling self-conscious about it. Did/do any of you anons have this problem? How do you overcome it?

>>11961385
>cartoon watching frog nazi has shitty social skills

unexpected

>>11961401
Thanks
>>11961385
I'll also add that when I play piano or deliver a speech in an auditorium I feel almost none of this anxiety.

college seems to be a huge meme nowadays. in the 21st century, you’re able to learn whatever you please with the technology we have. this has made us lazy in effect. our knowledge is broad without any depth.

who else /collegedropout/ here?

>>11961471
dude college is not about learning; it's about the qualification on your CV. But yeah, I'll probably drop out too in the next year or so

Found out the novel ive been writing for the past two weeks is just Permutation City :/

>>11960486
i'm tired and sad and I don't know what to do

>>11961385
take more interest in the world and less in what you want to be or not be

self-consciousness comes from self-concern

I just want to have a cute girl I can be excited to talk to everyday and then nervously ask out on a coffee date. I used to know loads of girls but now all the ones I know are either in relationships or out of my age bracket.

Pls help I don't want to go back to tinder tinder girls suck

>>11961810
How do I be more interested in the world?

I've been reading this lately, and I couldn't hold the tears back when clearchus is deceitfully assassinated after his long speech to Tissaphernes about both sides needing to trust each other and his hopes of going back home, and xenophon's retailing of the moral after the fact, how neither him nor the soldiers couldn't get any sleep that night, lying under the dark sky overwhelmed with hopelessness and melancholy from the realisation that they won't see their country or their loved ones ever again.

First time I got emotional while reading, I don't know how I got to this point.

>>11961951
Holy shit I am at the exact same part as well. Xenophon's speech and taking the initiative was amazing, fuck Apollonides

>>11961961
I'm really happy I picked it up, so many memorable speeches and passages

The three kings are a set of stars that are part of our solar system. When the three kings meet the sun (from our view of the stars) it will be the winter solstice.

When the sun rises again (gods sun) the day length will be progressively longer.

>>11962025
>"sun sounds just like son guys xD"
>Literally too stupid to realize people in the ancient world didn't speak English
Zeitgeist faggots get out

>>11962055
>implying occultists didn't shape the english language
...and immediately jumping to zeitgeist; you evidently haven't actually read anything on the subject

>>11961902
try one of the online dating sites that aren't just for getting fucktoys. okcupid, match.com, plentyoffish

>>11962025
It's amazing to me how much the ancients obsessed over the night sky. I suppose being able to make out the faint patina of the milky way without light pollution really draws your eyes upward.

And to think the gnawing, aching mystery of it all. The human mind cannot let anything go unexplained. Everything needs a name and a story. The starry sky must've taunted ancient men every night with its massive enigmas.

>tfw all of my friends are in relationships
>some of them have kids
>ive never even had a gf
i wonder if they talk about it when im not around

>>11962558
>you know, the usual.

The specter of meaningless is far more horrifying than death or the fear of failure or whatever it is that haunts men's days. If our lives could have meaning, meaning granted from on high and not fabricated by our own narratives, then everything else gets off free. Death is absolved of its terror, failure is made heroic, loss is a source of wisdom. Without meaning, random events just happen to you until you die and everything deletes in a flash of shapeless and blind oblivion.

>>11962574
Is meaning more important than love? Or is love a special kind of meaning? One thing's certain, we don't have meaningless loves. All loves are by definition meaningful. It's true there are very few nihilists in love.

Love has a tendency to turn on the lightbulb of existence, to cast rays on everything, amplify the hues of all colors. But it's an added sweetener to the bitter meal that is fate. It eases the burdens of time, makes getting older less gruesome, hints at a certain continuity of childlike spontaneity and carefreeness.

When it's all said and done it's possible to look beyond love at the bigger picture and see the same fear of meaningless threatening that fragile bond. Your lover's death is then the end of a whole world you created, a world where things were brighter.

>>11962592
Of course the Deity in the room here is God. It's the remaining tripartite relation in this duality between Meaning and Love.

God has traction of course a human concept and a hypothetical metaphysical entity. The hypothetical existence of God doesn't interest me because the human concept of God can exert influences regardless of how that question resolves.

Take Kant's object lesson of the 100 thaler note. While the note itself has a concrete identity and says 100 right on it, and we agree to trade it as if it were currency, were inflation to affect it, suddenly its concept as money would be destroyed to us even though the physical object has been unchanged. The belief exerts the primary control over the meaning of the object not the other way around.

Similar with the concept of God. "If God didn't exist it would be necessary for us to invent him." God acts as the guarantor of meaning and insurer of our loves. When we cannot see why such and such should happen to us, we say that God works in mysterious ways, that it's all part of a greater plan. When our love passes away, we tell ourselves that God is holding them in trust until the time we ascend to heaven.

Is this all an elaborate psychological rationalization mechanism? Probably, and in my most cynical of scientific hearts I would say yes. But that does not defeat the enormous mental benefit this kind of thinking confers.

>>11962665
>God has traction of course *as a human concept and a hypothetical metaphysical entity.
Typo

>>11960486
My hair
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I'm the greatest writer of the 21st century. Fight me.

i have decided that i'll live life as a self parody.i'll fucking buzz cut my hair, even though i look absolutely ridiculous like i'm already 3/10, shaving my head brings me up to 1.5/10 almost deformed face tier but actually worse though i don't have any major flaw like that, it still looks subhuman, disgusting, i literally avoid all mirrors
literally, all my social interactions of the past 2 years, except when buying groceries, were imblying nonsense that i respond to other anons around here. i think this was what made me reach enlightnement. no i'll never have a gf or friends, i'm going to be a neet until my parents die and i sell the house to eat and then i'll kys myself by dry fasting for a month (you know the human body has the capacity to make water out of fat, right? you can live for a month or maybe 2 dry fasting and the benefits are safe and cool).

>>11960665
Well, I've come away with a weird reading. I thought for certain after the night of Myrtle's death we're all meant to see Gatsby as deeply flawed on the same level as Tom or Daisy, but from Nick's last meeting with him up until the end, he becomes a tragic figure to be revered. Yet throughout the book, it was always Gatsby creating the drama with Daisy, clinging to her obsessively even when Tom was around and trying to snatch her away despite already having a kid, already being married, and having a stable relationship with Tom. She had absolutely no firmness of opinion at all, and it was only Gatsby's blindness that rushed them forward and pushed them all into disaster. In fact, after rereading I find him to be even worse than Tom and Daisy. Although, I'm still not sure why the narrator and Jordan had a falling out after that night.

What do you guys think?

i dont think i've ever met a single interesting person.

>>11962788
Dont do it Soren

I don't know. Something broke inside me back when I was nine. Grew up with parents who thought of education as God. Even made me walk despite my legs limping back when I had vasculitis. Still remember tying my envelope with a gauze, climbing up the stairs of my school only to fall flat on my back. then 2 weeks of screaming because of vasculitis and two weeks of watching your fingers gangrened like dried branches fucked me up. Doc says that it might hereditary and somehow because of that I have this compulsive behavior of wanting to be alone. You need to interact with people. I don't hate them. I just want to be alone. Not even depress. Just lost sometimes but still I just want to be alone. I don't even understand why my peers want to get their love of my life. maybe because i grew up being sicked all the time that I started to think that all you need in life is money to live. I think I'll just wait for this ride to be over

>>11961385
>>11961417
Unironically take therapy. You have probably been deeply wounded or have perceived yourself as socially crippled for long enough that your subconscious doesn’t want you to socialize and uses those as a way of shielding yourself from their pain.

>>11962945

Sounds like that's on you

I found a really good prog rock album just released last month by a new band the other day.
https://youtu.be/C_heOSaWrQc

>>11963127
yeah, true. i don't get out much besides work, and finance is full of soulless fucks.

>>11961162
>>11961168
get accutane it will change your life
my skin looked like your pic and after taking accutane for 6 months it has been porcelain ever since

>>11963472
I know several guys who developed negative symptoms of schizophrenia from Accutane, and they're not the only ones. Small chance, but I say stay away from it.

i managed about 8 days without a cigarette. it could've been worse, i could've chain smoked the few i had sitting around instead of having just one. originally i told myself my birthday would be my date to quit, so it's not too bad. i just wish i didn't have to buy that diabetic fatboy ding dongs now. oh well. over a week without cigarettes felt nice. i could breathe easier. it felt nice. i can do this shit.

i have a knot in my back and it's really painful and uncomfortable

I want to study. I want to read more books about psychology, human interactions and fantasy. I want to work hard and become successful. Even with all these desires, I still get held back by some other part of myself. Why is it that even though I know all these things are necessary, I still put them off? There's not a definitive deadline for becoming more knowledgable but it's personally desirable.
Is this because of my avid caffeine addiction? Are people whose lives have not been touched by caffeine more productive than mine? Is it just human nature to have all these desires yet never set out to properly achieve them?

>>11960486
it's all so gay

God browses 4chan

>>11960486
Yesterday I was reminded about...
>Her
we broke up 3 years ago but whenever I think about her it still hurts. Now she's stuck in my mind. How will I learn to let go anons?

>>11963718
cut it out or you'll get a bald spot

>>11964118
There's no other way but to meet other women

So I'm pretty sure there is a cabal of psuedo-tripfags on /his/. They sometimes defend each other's posts and while they're not bad anons it's just jarring to see. I'm pretty sure that they're in a discord together.

>>11964214
I have a strong, almost irrational dislike of /his/ from the few times I've been there, including when it first began.

>>11964118
i always see a torso with tits behind his head, am i gay?

>>11964061
Perhaps it isn't you, it's your environment. Are you online all day?

I know that I get my best studying done when I deliberately change my environment or alter my location so that I am unable to be distracted. For example I would go to the library and leave my laptop behind. Or write outside without my phone, or I will read with my phone upstairs.

You need to learn how to structure your environment to optimize your studying activity. Same goes for any habit you wish to maximize.

>>11964232
I posted on /his/ fairly often, usually telling them to fuck off for using logical fallacies. It's not a bad board, because there is no circle jerk consensus on things.

Usually some mania will grip /his/ and the majority of the threads for that month will be about said topic. WW2 threads always get a fuckton of replies, there's a decent amerindian following now, Napoleon is polarizing, Fascists and Communists live in some chaotic harmony.

It's a good board. The &humanities should be renamed to &anthropology though, /lit/ likes philosophy a lot more than /his/.

>>11964196
I guess it's time to man up and start trying again thanks anon.
>>11964245
She's always around.

>>11964266
Almost always. I'm currently at university and doing freelance web design on the side, so I'm constantly at my PC for work, study, entertainment and leisure. It's hard to structure my environment when it is used for everything. When I feel an oncoming sense of dread at the back of my mind, its like my body refuses to take in any further information and all work ceases - cues the entertainment. How do you suggest I optimize my situation? Do I have to compartmentalize my activities to certain locations?

Should I major in math? I dropped out of high school before taking algebra, but math is so useful.

I want to start experimenting with taking breaks from the internet.

Do any of you lads have any experience with this?

>>11964354
Just pack up your modem and don't pay your internet bill.

>>11964333
I can relate actually since I work in software. I'm glued to my computer both for work and for much of my recreation (watching movies, shitposting, reading articles, whatever).

One solution which has worked for me to an extend is to partition my time mindfully. Cut out a block of time where you isolate yourself to study. Seriously commit to it like you would a work out.

Another strategy is to become more technologically sophisticated so that you can confine your computer usage. There are various browser extensions, web apps, and other tools that can restrict your online behavior. You can even ban websites from your IP address, lock certain settings for a timeframe, and so on.

For me this has helped since I do this sort of work professionally. Perhaps you would have a harder time making use of it.

It also helps to feel intrinsically motivated to do it. If you love reading and studying and so on, you will just do it despite the extrinsic interference.

Lately I'm so tired after work or whatever, that I just avoid the second labor of cracking open the books.

Ahh I've got a fucking cold goddamn it.
Head full of porridge.

On the topic of publishing, I just work shopped a couple of poems that I want to try and get published. This is my first time sending anything in, should I pick smaller and faster publishers if I've never done this before? I've googled the places that will publish my work, but they all have that "you gotta say we published it first lmao". Advice?

>>11964372
Never realized how much I like the word "porridge" until now.

My godfather is an islamist, and his brother died in Syria almost 4 years ago from an American drone strike.

I don't have a good feel about this. I really don't. And I feel involved in this mess, somehow.

My godfather, he's the one who put him into this shit.

I want him to die, before he kills anyone else.

God, please let him die like his brother.

In the middle of nowhere.

Alone.

>>11964364
Committing certain part of my days to an activity seems logical and useful. I think I might be able to be diligent for a week then shit might happens and timeframes overlap - you lose the schedule. Have you been able to do this for long? What's your motivation, your drive that keeps you going?
Which particular branch of software are you working in? I have a choice of to specialize next year at university. I want to know whether you enjoy being in the industry you work in, web design is probably going to be my fallback.

>>11964398
anonymously rat him out lad

>>11964486
He's already filed as 'S' in France. The death of his brother sparked some attention on him, since he was the one who influenced him.
He's just "monitored" by the secret service now, but nothing else, as long as he doesn't do anything too obvious.

But I know for a fact, that one day, he will take action, and avenge his brother.

>>11964448
Have you been able to do this for long? What's your motivation, your drive that keeps you going?

It comes and goes. It was certainly easier when I had nothing to do besides work on my writing projects. This was also when I was driven by a singular desire to achieve my ambitions as young men sometimes are. Lately as I've aged and cooled off a bit, my thinking is more long term and I don't punish myself to taking it easy when I need to.

I just love what I do. I feel like it's my purpose. I don't have anything to prove, it's just what I want to do.

>Which particular branch of software are you working in?

I mostly do web dev, mobile, and lately some desktop apps. I don't have a hyper-autistic specialty so to speak so I'm always branching out to new things and don't really know where I fit in the industry yet. I do find AI an machine learning stuff very interesting, but there's a serious learning curve to some of the more impressive use cases of that tech.

> I want to know whether you enjoy being in the industry you work in, web design is probably going to be my fallback.

I'm not sure I enjoy it but neither do I hate it. It pays well, there's plenty work, my clientele defer to my judgement because they can't tell a bit from a byte, and I find programming languages to be inherently fascinating things worthy of many hours of study.

If this all makes your eyes glaze over, think about a career path that involves more human contact, more moving around and not sitting, and less staring at computers. These are the three major negatives of this job. I sometimes wish I was a park ranger.

>>11964398
Does Islam have godparents? Neat.

>>11964302
I posted about a book once that I picked up off the shelf and read out of curiosity, but turns out it was popular, and since my interpretation wasn't the popular one I got dogpiled and felt like shit after since I had exposed something entirely of myself. The attitude seems different there in general, like it's a competition to see who can gather the most knowledge just for the sake of doing so. /lit/ by comparison is just sort of apathetic or indifferent, as people explore their niches and come together every now and then to discuss/argue about them. They felt more political, and more obsessive. It's a different vibe.

Writing about 4chan at length is lame though so I'll stop here.

>>11964535
Sounds like you've found something you can dedicate your life to. That's what I'm currently chasing.
We just received some team projects this year and its almost all AI and web integration, since web is ubiquitous. These 2 fields might be where we're headed, if you learn AI as well I think you definitely won't be out of a job.
Don't get me wrong, I very much enjoy my job and the challenge of taking the vague requirements, putting it into action and coming back with something that blows the client out the water. I guess writing that down made me realize that I enjoy creating something people can enjoy.
I think with the introduction of freelancing - it opens up a lot of opportunities to do what you want in life, if you've figured that out already. All my past jobs so far have been as contractors with one exception in service. I hate the idea of being stuck at work even though you've completed your work, office might not be for me.
Thanks for giving me some insight into your life, I always appreciate the genuine interactions with people on this site without having to worry about being agreeable. I'm probably going to go to bed now so no more replies for me. Good night all.

I think I like her. It's funny, because we've had no mutual signs of attraction the handful of times we've hung out around our mutual friend group - but today, our first excursion walking about town, wandering in conversation, was so refreshing. Like I've finally found someone else that thinks like me. Don't get me wrong, she's absolutely beautiful without any caveats; I've just been in a place of not seeking any type of relationship recently. But now, after today, finding such a similar mind to pass the hours by with in conversation, brings with it perhaps the most ambiguous attraction for a woman I've ever felt. Let it be as enlivening as it was today, and I'll surely be falling in love.

tl;dr I'm a massive faggot

>>11963073
whatever you do, keep yourself from being sent to a mental hospital. don't let them send you away.

>>11963628
you absolutely can do it. try doing it tomorrow.

>>11963718
see a chiropractor

>>11964061
it's human nature to be told what one's desires ought to be until the subject internalizes these suggestions and then develops a guilt complex for not fulfilling some part of his being which he's by then convinced himself is what he really wants to do. Look at what you honestly do throughout your day. Coffee can be a scapegoat -- it can also be a factor among many that, by experimentation, you can consciously seek to change until one change provides a telltale sign of improvement in some regard or another.

People ruin everything

>>11964061
I hope you were being ironic about the caffeine addiction. Substance addictions are real things mate. Now I'm triggered by your post

Sick, since the day
ground goes the hay
Forever and ever through
one goes by you
But what is a frog
in the middle of light
streaming, seeming lighter than light
this is a rain
a painful pain

>PIG FUCK
Why would Pynchon let PTA adapt Inherent Vice after his outspokenness of his distain and disgust for pigs in The Master? I can't imagne that Pynchon would let himself be associated with anyone that dosent treat pigs as the holy creatures they are.

>>11960746
You will look autistic. If you want to simplify, just have a schedule of outfits to repeat every week, something like that.

>>11961067
Post your favorite essay/rambling. I’m interested.

My writing group genuinely enjoyed my submission, and I think I have enough confidence to self-publish my fantasy romance novel. I have very low expectations, but I've gotten enough positive feedback from writing professors and even published authors, so I probably can't fuck up that badly.

>>11960486
I've been losing my faith in other people more and more. I don't want to be alone but I feel like I have to be because being around others just reminds me even more why I should be.

I don't really care for philosophy, but I can't help but think deeply about the world and look upon it asking questions to myself. Even if other people do it too, it's not a social skill. Not something you share and bond with others over, quite the opposite really.

Why is being lonely like this? The longer you are the more you hate it but the more you belong to it. Once you can finally break back into life you'll realize what a goddamn waste of time it was trying to understand things instead of just having it happen. dedicating your life to counting how much grass is on your lawn or watching paint dry probably has more merit.

What a fucked up thing.

Do you guys think Thomas Ligotti ever had much of a sex life?

Around 50 pages into my first novel, it feels like a massive trainwreck but I enjoy writing it. Actually I already had given up once after like 15 pages half a month ago because I thought the whole concept was utter shit but I couldn't stand having it around unfinished and whenever I tried to write something else I got reminded of this piece of shit, especially as I had the plot already planned and already written some future scenes. The plot I've planned was pretty basic though, I didn't think too much about it and the more I progress the more I realize how much work is to be put into it to make any sense.
My expectations aren't too high but I know that I'm able to tell a good story from various readers (friends, but also strangers) so why the fuck shouldn't I just try it?
I have mainly sticked to short stories mostly with the longest being around 20 pages and originally I planned this novel to be a short novella of some 50-100 pages but then I realized how much I had to tell and that I'd need to work on a bigger scale to do so. I'm merely just getting close to the end of the exposition, if I continue it this way it realistically may get around 200-250 pages, maybe even more.
I'm not even thag hopeless about getting published, I believe that the situation for young writers is a bit better in our country than in the anglo-sphere, the market is big anyways but it's not overly flooded with new books and authors.
Also I know that even though my novel isn't going to be very good, it will at least be something pretty unique. And I think there could be people out there who might enjoy it, we will see.

>>11960486
Got a big test tomorrow. Trying to shake of the nervousness. I know inside that everything probably will be alright, but it's hard to actually internalize that and believe it. Seems like everything has more weight in a situation like this. But everything is going to be alright. I studied, I've been getting good results and I'll pass and go to college. Pray for me friends.

>>11961914
There's no real answer to that. It's on you to figure that out.

I will say that trying to take more interest in the world than yourself on the pretense of improving the way you are likely won't get you very far, because you're still attached to self consciousness and what ought to be the priority is instead just a means to egoistic ends.

It's just a better way to exist if you take more interest in things. Identity is the smallest, shallowest thing you can be concerned with imo, and I say that because I often suffer the same problem. But if you look at all the people who seem to be existing the way you'd want to, you can see that it's the same case for all of them: They're involved and engaged in what's outside of them. Cool people don't stop and think about how to be cool, they're cool because they're concerned with other things.

Especially when they're young, people tend to come off as "cooler" when they have problems and stressors displacing their concern for identity. That's why millennials are so awkward - they're worried about identity above all else.

writing nonsense at a starbucks
doop a deep a doopity doo
zorks mcgorks and writing sounds
stream of consciousness sure is fun, but its not just a stream of consciousness. it’s also censored by myself, as much as we might all pretend
that this is free form poetry


a hipster drinking coffee at starbucks
falling into the stereotype of himself
who are you? alone, yourself, and nameless?

My room is pretty comfy, with my stacks of books and records and tea supplies and the view out the window of the autumn forest and the little creek running through it. Outside though, I having nothing.

My grandfather recently passed away. He was sorta lit and he'd always give me books. Last year I got The Greek Myths by Robert Graves. Is it comparable to Hamilton when delving into the Greeks? She's on all the charts and shit, but I feel like I owe it to him to finish the ones he gave me.

>>11965514
It's just a fucking chart. I read a bit of 'Mythology' and just skipped to the Iliad when I saw how unnecessarily it was.

>>11962885
I think Daisy and Gatsby are meant to be similar characters despite every reader siding with Gatsby a lot more than Daisy. We're hypnotized by Gatsby's charm just like Nick but when it comes to Daisy, Jay saw something in her that we as an audience just can't understand. She never seems to be that enjoyable as a person, she's naive and innocent in that dumb blonde way, she seems entitled yet understanding of her privilege, but he is infatuated with her. I think her main struggle is the age old question of "can I actually love two people?". Just as Gatsby's main issue is trying to recapture that magic from the past and being unable to move forward without it/Daisy. I think what makes Gatsby's tragic figure image so potent is that he IS flawed, and we got to experience first hand what his flaws are and what consequences they led to. If anything, Gatsby's honesty & deceit are what makes him more compelling than Daisy because at least he seems to be self-aware of what he's doing, he's just driven past it by a greater sense of desperation.

The whole Jordan thing I have no fucking clue, their whole relationship was baffling through most of the book and I could never really understand if she was as into Nick as I thought.

holy shit i never noticed it was trump on the last verse of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrSk8Um2Sso

Mormontaboo produces some high quality stuff man.

my dick hurts after I pee after I've jerked off wtf is up with that

Are japanese light novels worth reading? from what i've seen they have all been written by hihschoolers.

>>11965584
Daisy isn't a complete airhead in my eyes, really. She shows plenty of wit at times, but her real flaw is cowardice in failing to ever use it, to plant a flag down and take responsibility for a situation rather than retreating back to that childlike image she has established for herself. For every moment that she seems to 'get it', there's another where she stands around like a stupid doe confounded at the barrel of the gun. I think it is this sort of 'innocence' that Gatsby obsessed over, though it was removed from reality and in part used by Daisy as a crutch to conceal her flaws.

Still, I believe now that Gatsby is more responsible for his own undoing than any other character in the book, and I can no longer see him as that sad poetic figure which Fitzgerald appears to promote. Instead, he seems like a love-blind fool who had the world's potential and squandered it all.

>>11965648
Depends what you mean by worth. I read them to practice my Japanese and because they're fun.

I feel alone, don’t matter how much I relate to others. An oversensitive disposition and uncalibrated empathy define me. Running away from it cursed me with years of emotional and physical inertia, with the occasional overwhelming wave of feeling. Going back has brought me to a chaotic and unstable frame of mind; getting better seems like a frivolous goal at this lonely night. There’s something fundamentally wrong on how I see myself, and change seems fleeting these last few days. I successfully hid me from myself, and it’s been so long since then that the fear of what has been hidden away having rotten and putrefied keeps me at spiritual unease. No one knows me, and no one has ever done so. By the same threads of life, neither have I ever known anybody. The belief two people can truly know and relate to each other eludes me. It seems like fleeting fantasy, a fanciful illusion that some impose upon their realities. God, most people can’t even know themselves.

My thoughts have been more hopeful than what is presented here, but the need to expunge the worst of it is strong right now.

MOMMY, MOMMY, BABY WANTS TO FUCK

>>11965648
Spice n Wolf is okay

>>11964643
That sounds beautiful, anon. I hope everything goes well for the both of you.

I've found a way to mostly overcome my problems and I want to help other people with theirs but I don't know if they could do it as easily as I did because I've had a very easy life for the most part and I don't want to be condescending to them.

>>11966069
Please, teach us how.

It makes me really sad to find a website on a topic of my interests and then see at the bottom that it hasn't been updated since 2003.

You fuckin' asked for it dude.
Hashing out this thought I had earlier today.
>bet there's people who believe that writing, in all languages is a language in it self
>how your word is written, perhaps more so when performed by hand or in the specific ways you now have endless time to communicate the sums of your thoughts in thoughtful responses
>is there a language that exists only in text
Ancient religions where we still haven't fully deciphered meaning
>has there been a language created only online
>I should write a book then write a quick program to change every word with the 'pronunciation' featured in webster's or urban dictionary
That's what's on my mind dude. Give me a good web crawler creation tutorial

>>11966076
"Always try your best and if things don't work out then oh well. Anything is possible with hard work".

>>11960646
Some major mental obstacles you're facing there homie

>>11960736
Find other sex

>>11966109
Been doing this over the last couple of months, but the weight of it all has started taxing me.

>>11960797
Part of growing up as a person. You'll see things you don't like and have to decide what you're going to do about it.
>weigh the options
> run consequences
>prepare yourself for more trauma

>>11961067
I'm with this guy, snowfairy
>>11964784

>>11964804
Climb out of your lonely hole.
You just described why you're in it.
Work harder.

>>11964885
Keep writing and stop writing about writing. Set higher expectations of yourself

>>11966121
Is it anything I can help with

>>11964916
You're prayed for. You got this

im watching a movie that goes on forever and I have the remote where I can play it all over again

>>11964981
By those standards there's a mental prison on the newer generations and everyone wants to be original just to fit in. When is the line drawn between expression and ego?

>>11965117
>who are you? alone, yourself, and nameless
Dope

>>11965639
Dick sting from stressing the vessels. Jerk off less vigorously. Make it your mistress and romance yourself instead

>>11966151

This >>11965958 was written by me, don't know how coherent it is, I was more worried with getting it out of my chest at the time.

Basically, I've been trying to improve and be more selfless/focused on others, but sometimes I feel like I've made no progress at all. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to listen to me.

I've always liked femdom and wanted to be submissive, and I kinda like the 'role reversal' aspect. It's annoying to try and look for it and being bombarded by 'smashing gender roles' shit. I don't care about that, I just enjoy it personally and don't want to make a statement.

>>11966187
You're lonely it's ok. You need someone with you to perform those things and new things. A bit of recognition goes a long way, even if it's from just a single loved one.

Having an identity is hard

I don't think i have one i think i am just an amalgamation of everything and not unique in any way at all

Was at a party last night where I made out for the second time and grabbed my first boob but got kicked out of the house before we could fuck. At least I know it's now possible but when another chance will come who knows. I remember walking home with my friend while reciting Ahabs soliloquy from Sunset with all the gusto I was capable of. Overall good times.

>>11966187
>The belief two people can truly know and relate to each other eludes me.

It's not impossible, but it can be hard to find somebody you connect with. But when you find it, it really is the most amazing feeling in the world. If you are hiding yourself from yourself as you said, then it is going to be impossible for anybody to understand you.

I know what it's like, you have my sympathies. I don't know what your social situation is like, if you are at university or working, but maybe try putting yourself out there. Try and make some connections, they don't have to be your bestfriends, but just some interaction with others can be good practice to help opening up.

>>11966197
>>11966237

Thank you for the answers, from the bottom of my heart. There's a person with whom I may be able to connect. From the few times we chatted, she seemed as lonely as me. I've been hesitating on seeking her again, probably out of fear, but she's as retracted as me, so some initiative from my part is required, otherwise we will just continue to be adrift. I think both of us could use a friend. I wish all the best for you both, and for all anons on this thread.

>>11966253
That's the spirit. Best of luck anon!

>>11963112
If therapy isn't feasible, how do I go about changing my subconscious beliefs?

read 40 pages today, want to read more but also dont want to end up burning myself out and ending up not wanting to read tomorrow

I want to be one with the night,
But now the sun is at its crest,
Its flare is a permanent test:
The glow haunts me without respite.

When daylight is out of sight,
The moon deprives me of my rest,
Bringing such pain, from head to chest,
Knowing not time, nor wrong or right.

Even aching, my heart has spark
Like a lone star shines by the coast.

So hard to be insomniac,
So sweet to be a floating ghost.

I am at peace within the dark,
And this sickness I gladly host.

I just feel empty. Not depress. Not alone. Just Empty as if there could be more to this than this dog's life

>>11966623
Not a bad concept but needs editing, this line sounds really bad to me for some reason:
>Its flare is a permanent test:

This is good:
>Even aching, my heart has spark
>Like a lone star shines by the coast.

I'd also encourage you to not write sonnets in 2018, in the words of Rilke

>avoid those forms that are too facile and ordinary: they are the hardest to work with, and it takes a great, fully ripened power to create something individual where good, even glorious, traditions exist in abundance

>>11966642
Same anon. I was feeling pretty ok last week but today woke up feeling pretty dumb. I had a dream that was just me hanging out with some friends I haven't seen in years, waking from that to the grey massachusetts sky really wasn't a good start to the day.

>>11966655
that's funny, because it's the only line I can't fix. The mere inclusion of "is" breaks it, but then I lose the iambic pentameter.

>>11965660
Damn, that's a really great analysis. I agree with you on pretty much everything you said; I found that the thing about Daisy that pissed me off the most was her indecision and inability to really make the fucking calls when they were on her shoulders. You nailed it.

Besides that, I agree Gatsby was entirely behind his own downfall. I mean, the guy was trying to resurrect the true love he experienced how many years ago? He was borderline delusional, indicated by the fact that despite being such a visionary he never appeared to have visualized the end-game of his plan to get Daisy back. He saw everything in such detail, but never stopped to think about what might happen after he tears a marriage apart? Delusion. The love really did blind him, but unfortunately that happens to us all way too often. I think Fitzgerald really nailed that aspect of his character, it persists even today.
One of the main reasons I love the character, I think.

>>11966642
could you try to give your life more meaning? Try to create! Write , play music or draw. doing something others enjoy might help to fill the void.

>>11960486
write what's on your mind

i wonder how many people will read in the future
it honestly surprises me that so many books are still in print, as i am yet to encounter anyone who reads on anything more than a surface level-
it feels to me as though reading actual texts of substance is fading away, but i doubt this will actually happen before the end of our existences

>>11966678
I've been writing. Though sometimes I get lost in it, I feel like my writing is inadequate and most of the time I just discard them. Maybe its grammarly or my over reliance on Microsoft word grammar check that makes me think that.

There are times that I just wake up and then I'd slap my face telling myself that I am alive. Then time just drifts so fast. Its like I am stuck in this endless echoing emptiness

Eternity or oblivion?

>>11966749
anon you have to put them out there. Writing won't give anyone joy if it's never read. How are you going to get feedback if you're the only one who reads it?

>>11966753
oblivion. i like that game

>>11960486
Just found out this girl I work with is 19, thought she was much older, then she tells me her mother is 35, I do the math, she corrects me, says her mother got pregnant at 14, turned 15 and had her baby, I get turned on, ask if she wants kids, yeah, maybe, dunno, tell her I always wanted kids at a young age, I want this girl to be my wife, I want her to have children, she says she wants to go to college, I want to tell her what a waste it would be that there's more fulfilling things in life than being a secretary, HR, PR director, family, friends, personal creative freedom, not volunteering to be put in shackles by the system, how can I win the fair lass' heart?

>>11966764
I've been putting them on an obscure writing group. Some like it but mostly they criticize my writing style/grammar. I really think that grammarly and my over reliance on grammar checker made my writing blander.

Is there anything worse than adults who use harry potter / star wars / game of thrones / whatever as "evidence" in political debates? I'm going to off myself if I read one more comment comparing le drumpf to le voldemort or however the fuck you spell it.
FUCK WHY IS THE """RESISTANCE""" SO PATHETIC?

I mean the answer is that they're constrained to the liberal ideology which defines "resisting" as "disapproving comments" but still.

>>11966849

>>11966642
Clearly you need a dick inside you

>>11966779
Nice

>>11966849
Some people ONLY have pop culture as a reference to compare to.
Pop culture is a bad place to do this because everything is broken up into good vs evil, instead of the million shades of grey it actually is. In fact, you might even be able to explain people dividing into two defined groups that hate each other as a symptom of this, i mean, recently at least.

I need to piss.

>>11962574
>find out there is, in fact, meaning
>turns out its a kind of meaning you dont care about
>go back to hedonism because on second thought you didnt want meaning, you wanted to feel good

>>11963073
Sign up for some dating app and browse through profiles, see if any of them manage to stir sommething inside you. From a good number of perspectives that could be the most worthwhile thing for you to do right now.

Fuck culture. FUck all of it,
"Oh, you see, here we churn our butter clockwise and-"
Shu tthe fuck up, shut the Fuck up No one fucking cares its all bulllcrap

>>11964061
You value not exerting yourself more than your goals, it's pretty straightforward. Either find a reason to care more, or a way to have them require less exertion.

I haven't had a match on Tinder for a day and my opinion of myself is so fucking low that I now feel as though no one in the world finds me attractive.

>>11967015
>he still desires the affection of others
holy shit dude get with the times

>>11967023
>>11964981
tl;dr this is an 18+ board

>>11967015
>a day

Jesus Christ am I the only one who can't browse /lit/ without constantly thinking "I'd have a crush on this anon if I had any reason to think he's a girl"? Why is it so hard to find a /lit/ gf?

>>11967121
What steps have you taken to procure a /lit/ gf?

Do communes actually exist? I'm pretty hopeless about the world as a whole and would like to just chill out with some cool people as the world burns.

>dropped out of school couple years ago
>got rejected from the McDonalds
>got rejected from several supermarkets
>got rejected a factory
>got rejected from some shitty box packing job
>got denied autismbux
>parents getting sick of my shit, probably will kick me out sooner or later
What's the next move here, lads?

>>11967201
Call center

>>11967201
Try to get rejected from the armed forces

>>11966469
Idk man. Read psychology

>>11967201
go to community college

>>11967201
Go to a community call center for the armed forces

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintanence is great and all but 350 pages in and i cant be fucked anymore. i get what quality is but its just dragging on. Is it worth finishing?

I hate myself for despising trying to actually talk to people

>>11967145
Don't do me like this anon

Listen, I swear I regularly meet new people, but it's your usual ways of meeting people; I have yet to encounter a girl that actually mentions an interest in /lit/ lit through them.

I want to say it's not an issue of lack of will but lack of knowing: Where the hell do you meet qt philosophy autists?

>>11966469
Figure out why you like them and practice awareness of your emotional states as you encounter them next. Reason your way out of the "Gestalt"

Read some Irvin Yalom's books, specifically mamma and the meaning of life, Schopenhauer cure and love's executioner

anyone unironically realize they're pretty average in intelligence after always believing they're one of the elite?

happening to me right now and strangely okay with it

>>11967201
Get some blackmail or anchor yourself in your parents home somehow and continue to live that sweet sweet /lit/ NEET life

>>11960486
My ban just expired.
Don't think that I'm done .

>>11967275
Yeah man, it sucks in a way but i realise that it afford me the ability to understand my mistakes and get better.

Kind of getting it physically as well. Age/sex?

>>11961216
The remnants of the the 90s slacker-artist fantasy are speckled on kurt cobain's bathroom wall

The West's "transitional phase" is not transitional. Modernity is ever-present, ever-disruptive, ever-transformative. We are in a supercritical fluid state that is neither gaseous nor liquid, a phase of perpetual transition

"Bug world," the hive, Termite americanus has already arrived, is already arriving, will always keep arriving

There is no past, there is no future, there is only NOW.

There never was a time in which sensitive individuals could pursue art. They were ALWAYS uber drivers and burgers flippers, and will FOREVER be basement dwellers and code monkeys

You do not own, you rent
You do not dream, you work
You do not watch movies, you browse Netflix titles
You do not cook, you reheat processed food. You slurp corn syrup and pink slime
etc

>>11967320
>The remnants of the the 90s slacker-artist fantasy are speckled on kurt cobain's bathroom wall
Your post is dumb but this is a good line

>>11967201
get in shape and join the french foreign legion

>>11960486
My team won an important prize. All of my team went to celebrate, I couldn't care less. That left me wondering if I am going to feel any type of pride or sense of accomplishment ever in my life.

>>11967285
classic 20/male bro

Yeah I feel that and it's a much harder pill to swallow but at least its something you can tangibly see an improvement on whether by better clothes or hitting the gym

>>11967280

>>11967344
never understood the anime hatred 2bh

I don't even like anime, I think 99% of it is juvenile melodrama, but the need to constantly complain about it is odd

>>11967352
The vast majority of anime posters (especially on /lit/) have some sort of serious mental illness; not to mention the fact that their posts are always abhorrent.

>>11967352
I've never watched an anime other than cowboy bebop, anime posting is just cute images to me

>>11967201
actual, non-meme answer

Learn2code

if you can't teach yourself, go to community college
pick up some IT certifications
start a github profile

see a professional about psych issues if you think they're hindering your performance

i just want to live as simple as possible, i dont want to work, i dont want to study.
I just want to stay a NEET for as long as possible, eventually ill want kids and a wife of curse but thats a problem for future me

feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I want to read.
>want to get ballsdeep in modernism, read the big names I haven't read yet like Beckett, Borges, Proust, Faulkner, Pound, Eliot, Kafka, Woolf
>also want to read more postmodernism like Nabokov, Delillo, Gass, Barth, Philip K.
>also want to advance in philosophy, "finish" with the greeks, get to neoplatonism and early christianism which I really like
>also want to dedicate time to reading stuff in italian
>also want to read the biggest classics I haven't read yet, like those by Virgil, Ovid, Cervantes, Milton. . .

>>11967395
I would go back to the ancients as well as reading those classics that you haven't yet. They are far more enjoyable and you will get much more out of them than the (post)modernists. Besides, being well versed in classics makes modernist lit way more gratifying to read.

>>11965117
>YMO
absolutely based and redpilled anon

i'm never present in the moment.
i sometimes go for long walks wanting to observe and reflect on the outside world, but i end up filling my head with some annoying advert jingle for the whole time. and sometimes i sit on my bed in the dark expecting to think and be at peace, but i end up rolling up my sleeves and looking for pimples to pop on my arm. and i go on autopilot. i only realise how void my mind is after i've already been whistling those advert jingles for 15 minutes.
i want to have conversations with people, but never know what to say. i want to find the poetry in everyday life, but my mind seems to prefer scrolling through my whatsapp contacts without anything to check.

how can i change?

>>11960486
criminal delight

here i stand
hit me if you can
no, allow me to land,
hit me if you want and then

spill my blood
like the tears of a nation
drown me in flood
like the screams of creation

i want to tell you the truth
my mouth is tied
- so i`ll shout
though i know i`ll be denied
i want to spread the word
my legs are gone
- so i`ll run
though i know I`ll be alone

let all hear
him him and him again
did this and that beyond ear
then and then.

short
is my presentation
not worthy
of your busy attention.
now kill me
before all
slaughter me
a sacrificial toll.
bring me low down in fright.
ruin my gibbering dignity
for your criminal delight.
use your malignity
to bash my brains to blight.
mutilate me
until i am your obedient drooling slave
a midget of inconsequence
then break me in your cave
before cigar chewing grandeur
mafianic messianic, so brave!
saviour of one soul in splendour
with hope for all
in deep pockets
and a welcoming smile
in his eye sockets
so happy
shall he leave you
that you will forget to ask
which soul did he save?
ours, or was it his, a mask?

to the eternal him
in the formal clothing
and the suitcase to his whim
the scepter of divinity, or mourning
i implore.
beat me!
do unto me
what i rightfully deserve
for speaking here
at this forum I serve

>>11967498
just one thing!

do not bother stopping
the camera that beholds.
let all the wretches see the chopping
a body cut down on all fours.
mothers and fathers,
children and workers,
let them feast in their tethers
their slave eyes
to organs hanging in gore
insides strangely bared
what was not said before.
let them feast unspared,
to the tranquil scenery after a flood
of picturesque, quiet and shared
lakes of blood.

just let them watch ok?

don`t ask me why i smile
with a single tooth left!
don`t let me be your rile!

for soon my ossified friend of lies
your old eye balls will bud
as they note a reflection of the skies
in the puddles of my blood
reflected in their eyes.
and as they pause to conclude
their generational servitude
shall become as evident a warning
as chains on a spring morning

and my pitiful subjections
shall become the hymns
through which my body`s dissections
will become the pain in their limbs
one body, one pain.
my humiliation
their anger`s reign.
my frustration,
their calm of rain.
my bleeding eyes
remove their blindness.
cold spilled blood on flies
become the boiling lava of kindness
in which they will throw you
and all your rings
and all your princesses and kings
so carefully arranged.
one body, one swoop, one skin
and they`ll discard you and your kin
like the morning
discards the veil of night
like birds soaring
in that other delight

>>11967333
Was about to post this. I seriously entertained this idea at one point when I was 23 and in shape. Not because my future was hopeless, although it was hard at the height of the great recession, but because I thought it would be cool to become a badass commando for the FFL and learn French and start a new life fucking French fembois in Paris as a rugged "good American." Also I was disgusted with the direction the country was headed in even before Trump came to power.

>>11967409
yeah, I feel a bit like that, and I'm always in this conflict, you know, if I were to put value to books, I'd be forced to put more value to the big classics like Iliad, Herodotus' Histories, Aeneid, Metamorphoses when compared to works like GR, Infinite Jest, and don't get me wrong, I love the latter too, but I can't help but think they are in a category of entertainment that is a bit shallow, though again, I love the goofball humor, the modern themes like drugs, addiction, the profanities of Ulysses. . .
Best solution, I believe, is really going back to big classics and throw some modernism/post-modernism in between

>>11967508
>new life fucking French fembois in Paris as a rugged "good American."
yeah, except the routine in the FFL is tough as fuck and you'll probably be thrown somewhere in the middle-east before you can even go out for pussy.

>>11967352
It's just a bunch of insecure nerds with a need to find a subculture more embarrassing than whichever one they subscribe to.

>>11967528
I knew it would come at a price. There's a reason I would do it. And chances are it would've been North Africa where the French customarily prefer to conduct war. It obviously would have sucked, theres many reasons I didn't do it.

>>11967508
I've been to Paris a few times - you'll find as many fembois there as you will in any big city.

t. Eurofemboi

after I finish IT i plan to take a nursing course then enter aeronautics then get professor education - i hate myself for thinking that all i want is to pursue these courses for no reason other than i want to

>>11967583
yeah, I thought about it a great deal of time. It pays relatively well, and if you come back it must be a hell of an experience.

>>11967698
It's not like even the majority of Legionaries die in war. It's not like France is in full on imperial expansion mode, but their military has been dispatching soldiers to gun down terrorists since before 9/11. Including the fearsome Boko Haram.

They also have the policy of Français par le sang versé, French by spilt blood. So if a legionnaire so gets non-fatally wounded in battle he is automatically honorably discharged from the service and given French citizenship. Not a bad deal for taking a bullet in your thigh.

>>11967741
>automatically honorably discharged from the service and given French citizenship. Not a bad deal for taking a bullet in your thigh.
I don't think it is automatically granted but you can apply for it. If you just nick your thumb they'll laugh at you. But if you get your foot blown off, probably.

I don't assume you envisioned your new life in France with a peg leg?

>>11966469
Cognitive behavioral therapy seems to work when self taught. Try to search for a workbook on general anxiety the subject of the book doesn't matter that much since CBT can be used in other aspects as well.
I recommend: The Generalized Anxiety Disorder Workbook: A Comprehensive CBT Guide for Coping with Uncertainty, Worry, and Fear by Melisa Robichaud, Michel Dugas

>>11967528
>>11967583
French guy here, most of the foreign legion just stays in the mud in Guyana, fighting gold traffickers and things. And most of the guys here are war criminals from eastern europe, you'll be the fuckboi there I think

It saddens me to see how everybody reminiscences about youth. Songs, stories, books, everything is filled with nostalgia for youth that has passed and was sold. It is sad and the melancholy is unique. Even I, whose youth is actually not yet gone, and whose past was comparatively (yes, comparison is this and that) but also quite objectively sad, lonely, miserable, even I look back and see something that I miss deeply. I think it is the feeling of being. Allowing yourself to make mistakes that you now relentlessly play over and over in your head during sleepless nights. Back then you were so little, yet now you've lost so much. Yes, these types of thoughts and clinging to the past bring no good, but i don't do it often. Sometimes. Like looking at a picture of a lost love stored somewhere safe that you occasionally take out and look at it thinking, fuck... But then you put it away again and move on. Accepting and waiting for nothing. Fighting to keep clarity and secretly hoping that from somewhere you will find realization that yes, it is possible.

>>11968098
The worse part about the fetishization of youth is the flipside, the immiseration of age. We have no reverence for age and the wisdom and experience it brings. Aging is seen as a dreadful, horrifying affair that must only be endured. But there's something criminal in this value system, that paints the second half of life as a footnote on the first half.

>>11967280
>not evading your bans

>>11968098
this is something similar to the feel I get every sunday afternoon/night, and I watch 5~15 minutes of several movies that enhances this feeling (usually movies I keep close for a long time, full of nostalgia) in an attempt of not having to move on

>>11967387
You are one of the reasons we need eugenics.

>>11967493
You need to stop being a brainlet, which is impossible.

i want to FUCK my aunt

I'm afraid of being left with nothing after reading a book, as though it never happened; the thought that I might lack the intelligence to be enlightened or the sensitivity to be touched by a work of literature torments me every time I read.

>>11968182
rude, what was your problem with my post?

>>11968208
Interpreting books is a skill to train like any other, not an art reserved for a talented few.
If you want to power level it, go through classic poems, try to figure out all the things the author may have been alluding to - you bet your ass at least a dozen of them were intended - and then compare it with the interpretations of it you find online.

>>11967387
There's no reason for most people to have to work, it's totally feasible to provide a basic standard of living to all people with greater material standards available to those who chose to labor for society. Automation is only going to make this more apparent, I hope people realize and throw off their shackles sooner rather than later.

>>11968112
I despise how this resonated with our treatment of our elders. They become these sad, useless things in our eyes not worth paying attention to. Even though we know we'll end up there one day, and that then we'll be left in the same lamentable state by a pitiless youth that's a reflection of our more vigorous days.
I fear the day when I find myself all alone, my family dead or far away, my friends none existent, in an empty house, well aware that death may take me at any time and that no one would know before decomposition has taken a toll on my corpse.

>>11960486

4chan is amazing, I can change board and topic with a simple click.
irl i can be this free and sincere in my opinions only with a true friend.

I was suicidally depressed for over seven years but for the past few months I've been feeling a lot better. I'm still a sad, lonely man but I don't think about offing myself every minute of the day. I think it's because I've stopping thinking about big-picture things, I basically only care about minutiae now. For example today I made scones filled with apples I picked up from the farmer's market yesterday. Realistically this shouldn't make up for the fact that I'm a friendless, overly-sensitive autist who got cucked by the only girl he ever loved, but it helps.

>>11968319
I'm happy for you, anon. Grain after grain of merriment will slowly but surely fill enough of the hourglass that is your life. It might take long, and if it's too empty it will never be full, but halfway full is more than enough to keep it functioning.

>>11968319
good for you. living in minutiae is comfy, but it will take time and practice. stay strong.

The unix timestamp recently rolled over into 1540000000.
The first image I saved from here was a 124---- filename, so I've been here on 4chan for 300 million seconds.
Well. That went fast.

>>11968319
some years ago I was as you, start with herodotus, read a bit of Histories every day, at the end of it pick up "History of the Peloponnesian War" by thucydides.

will keep you pleasantly entertained throughout the winter

>>11968386
What's the relationship between unix time and 4chan filenames? Everything I can find online gives the timestamp as a 10-digit number but all the filenames I have saved are 13 digits.

>>11968231
Japan is a far more sane country and culture in this regard. Japan respects its elders, who remain productive citizens well into their 90s and beyond, with some of the highest living standards and life expectancy in the world.

In America, in contrast, suicide rates for middle aged adults has skyrocketed. The country is in the midst of a spiritual crisis and social collapse. Respect your elders.

>>11968319
At least you can make scones bro.

>>11968459
Not sure, maybe 4chan and other imageboards extend the timestamp into the milliseconds to avoid confusion when displaying images.
Every so often when posting an image, it'll show up with a different thumbnail, and I'm pretty sure that happens when both images are posted at the exact same time, down to the millisecond.
Or maybe it's just an anonymity thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8fJohxGBd4

>>11960486
Women can be real bitches man

>>11967324
WRONG

my posts are exciting and well-written and good

their propulsive sense of energy is reminiscent of Celine and the most accomplished passages of keuorac

"fuck you" kike. You will never have THIS? You will never do what I do. shoot your spitballs you slimy fucking kike. sneer from the sidelines. you kike

>>11960486
1/2

Do you remember how we’d stay up in my loft back in Burlington Vermont, watching awful films while the world around us froze? There was one night, a favorite of mine when the currents poured down from the Adirondacks and made their way across Lake Champlain, sweeping over the town. It reached fifty below zero and a weather emergency had been declared, but it didn't matter because we had plenty of blankets, my crappy apartment was warm, and I think the cold only made me love you more.
Before I knew it, I had to leave; the realness, the softness, the sincerity of you, this lovely person so anchoring and grounding me. You evaporated into social media and other digital platitudes, and eventually faded into silence. Who could blame you? It was not my fault that I got sick and had to go, that for twelve long years, some asshole Bostonian Ivy League Doctor had been filling me with poison. From the age of seven I had been unknowingly used for medical research, as is permitted within the bounds of standard practice under Massachusetts common law for pediatric psychiatry. At nineteen years old, what was I supposed to say to you? “Sorry, I love you, but now I need to quit my job and drop out of school, and move four hours south back home because I can’t stop shaking or feel my skin, and it’s getting really hard for me to walk right now… and I’m getting ready to die.”
Your mom lived all the way in Montana, while your dad was holed up somewhere in a shack off the grid in the woods of Rutland. All your siblings and cousins had moved away. You were shy, because you’d learned at a very young age that it was easy to say goodbye. You were used to letting go, but you broke the rules you’d made and stood by me. You stood by me in a way that nobody ever had before, until your life became as unhealthy as mine and I begged you to stop.

1/2

>>11968607
2/2

I went home, and as I withered away in the house that I grew up in, I thought of you. I remembered the rhythmic rise and fall of your lungs with mine; that slowly dancing push and pull of our breathing as we slept, moving me to peacefulness as it snowed outside. I remembered focusing on the cracks in the plaster walls, concentrating to prevent myself from drifting off, in an effort to be intertwined with you for as for long as possible. I remembered the weight of another person's life bearing down into my own, how with each subtle shift and stir you unconsciously told me that you were there to stay. I miss the honesty such closeness said to me, those small unspoken affirmations found in subtle motions. It was not my fault that I left you alone up in Vermont, out in the cold by yourself. Somebody did this to us.
Now that I’m healed, from what that monster did to me, that like very few people who go through benzodiazepine withdrawal I am somehow still alive. After surviving the end of the world, I find myself unable to be that way, like I was with you, with anyone. I hate what they did to me, how through violations so fundamental, they made me ugly. How I hate that I hate to be touched, that I feel disgusting, that it feels like it’s my fault that something so essential now causes me such pain. How when I walk around and go to class every day, when people ask why I can’t smoke or drink, or why I’m still in college, that I feel the need to fess up to all of this; that I’ve be found out. And while I hate them deeply for all that they’ve done to me, I hate them the most for taking me away from you; for convincing me that loving you was wrong.
For some reason, after everything that happened, it was always okay with you, that missing piece of me, so far away, all armored up and clad in green mountains. If all that I had was you, that gentle caring thing by which to warm myself, to offer everything I’ve got; I think I could be that person again. I think it would be okay if the rest of the world were as frigid as it was that night in Vermont, way back in my memories, up in my loft, when the two of us would laugh and watch movies. I think it would be okay if all the world were dead and cold, so long as you were there beside me.

2/2

My professor posted an assignment where we have to compare 2 speeches, however only one of them is in the book (the book we've used the entire semester, everything has been from the book) and the other one is not. I've looked all over the book, I checked the index and it has the speech name and a page number, but the page number it says to go to has nothing about the speech on it.
Plus, the only place I can find the full speech online is a fucking tumblr post so I can't really cite it.
I hate online classes

>>11968601
based

>>11968637
Literally all you have to do is email him cmon anon

I can get three audiobooks for free with an audible free trial
What should I get?

Regardless of your political views "to each their needs from each their abilities" is a pretty badass slogan

>>11968461
>Japan respects its elders, who remain productive citizens well into their 90s and beyond
Japan respect its elders so much that there's a growing trend of seniors committing crimes because they're lonely and depressed and can only find comfort in prison.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-03-16/japan-s-prisons-are-a-haven-for-elderly-women

>>11968702
I thought about getting the KJV Bible because it's long and I'm probably never going to read it otherwise.

>>11968719
it's because the youth is in a 12x12 room masturbating to anime

>>11968719
Would like to see this chart accounted for the skew from the aging population

>>11968733
Sounds pretty appealing from the snippets I've heard about Japanese corporate life desu

>>11968752
you're a selfish bastard and a burden to the world

desu

>>11968756
Yeah bro not working 14 hour days makes me selfish

I'm playing Minecraft. Trying to figure out what skin to use. Maybe Spongebob.

>>11968756
t. The CEO of Mitsubishi

>>11968694
Yeah but it's due tonight and I had all week to do it so I don't wanna email him now

When did our culture flip into permanent nostalgia mode?

>>11968759
>>11968767
kanban your life in order fagets

>>11968772
At the end of the cold war when we subconsciously realized we will never defeat capitalism and we're doomed to be slaves until society collapses in the 2050's due to billions of climate refugees. Remembering the past when we still had a chance is all we have left.

>>11968749
According to the chart, the share of criminal offenders 60 and older in Japan has increased by about 20%, with larceny going from ~5% to more than 30%.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demography_of_Japan has a chart where it says that 65-year-olds now make up 27.8% of the Japanese population, up from 12% in 1990.

>>11968772
At the same time it became completely unable to imagine what its future might look like.

>>11968771
If it's due tonight and there really was a problem with the speech, somebody else would already have contacted him and he'd probably would have sent you an email with the correction. I think you're just retarded anon.

>>11968796
Very interesting. Thanks for taking the time.

>>11968823
I fear the same

>>11968607
>>11968620

>>11968719
sounds like they need some vibrant youths to liven up that sad gray culture of theirs

>>11960486
I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A GOOD VPN TO POST ON HERE FUUUUCCKCKCKCKC

SWITCHBLADES
COCAINE

>>11968929
I used HMA for years when I was on restricted university internet, and that always worked just fine for posting here. This was 2012-2014 though, dunno how it stacks up now.

>>11966836
are you putting to much emphasis on things that don't matter all too much? maybe focus more on what you want to write about not how it's presented. Write something you would like to read.

>>11968929
just use google dns.

>>11969076
Maybe you are right. I should stop focusing on making the location detailed, Show not tell has fucked me up

>>11968772
I would say it started leaning towards it when Gen X began to grow up and reckon with their failed adulthoods. but the modern obsession is very much tied to the financial crisis, which ruined millions of lives, and the rise of the post-smartphone, more invasive internet, which places a great financial incentive on attention-grabbing sentimentality from users' childhoods
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hauntology

boomers have their own nostalgia, too, of course, but is it so shameless as our modern iteration? seems like people are growing more and more nostalgic for relatively recent events. I've seen some threads on 4chan about nostalgia for the 2016 election

>>11967340
Yeah no shit! Its not so much being better than other but just wanting to be able to defend.

I think i might join the marines and be a combat correspondent. I can do my undergrad while in active duty and then use the GI bill to pay for graduate school and get a PhD in English and Literature at a high end university for free.Is this a good plan, it seems pretty solid in my mind but idk.

Long term girlfriend, might as well be my wife left me and won't respond to any text or call. It's the final blow. I know i will be a suicide. Its only a matter of when. Life is suffering. And all those fools who say God never gives you more than you can handle hasn't considered the suicide statistics.

It's taken me entirely too long in life to understand how status is a vicious zero-sum game, easily moreso than wealth is, and how the ideas and memes people throw at one another are simply reflections of that vicious status competion - how so much of the supposed intellectual content of what people say is meaningless epiphenomena of one person (or more accurately, one in-group) trying to upend others in the hierarchy.

>>11960486
this board is so bad and so obviously full of redditors i can’t look at it anymore. /tv/ has surpassed it despite itself being a shade of what it once was. shameful

>>11969443
>considering suicide because of love
There are people out there jealous of you for that, at least put it into a book before you off yourself

>>11969525
Come on remember_when_lit_was_good-anon#23651, it's just a matter of the board not growing up along with you, you know this.

>>11969542
Ive written a couple plays and a bunch of poems, i guess i will publish them before i enter the abyss. The last poem i wrote will do for now...

Dead is the dream that i thought eternal

And why should not i join them? Cleft hopes

In the emptiness of silent hours

I remain - lungs full of smothering fate

Choking to existence - and why not now cease

From a life of festering illusion

Burrowing in my inconvalescent soul?

Only to be tortured by the grandest delusion

Shattered now with capricious hands of cold

I remain - though broken and tattered

Desiring death to come in this timely hour

Fairest fortune bestowing benevolent rays

On the darkness of my dreaded life

Could not my resolve for a moment change

For i am sick of the agon and the strife

All sanguine expectations are extinguished

By claritys ever malevolent light

And as i stare at the disenchanting flame

I see my only companion into the night.

arrested for dui, want to kill myself

*and why should i not join them?

My stomach was already upset today, had the runs all day. Dad made chili for dinner. It’s going to be a rough night.

>>11969419
It's good except for the part where you willingly join the army and then get a degree that will make you literally unemployable outside of academia where you'll be hated for having been part of an instrument of imperialist aggression and denied any actual position

>>11969274
I have nostalgia for the spring, when I did nothing but lay in bed and watch chinese cartoons, and the past fall, where I did nothing but have mental breakdowns over my oneitis not returning my calls. It's a deep and pervasive issue.

>>11969730
Fuck. I wish I could help you anon, but I know I don't have the words to take away your pain. Just please don't kill yourself anon, there are good people in the world I swear.

>>11969826
Well they can't really deny me a job for trying to get my tuition paid for by uncle sam. I have researched it and it seems alot better then they new wave of journalism that has come out of buzzfeed asking which disney princess i am based on my favorite coffee flavor. I can follow in the footsteps of Hunter S Thompson but one up him by literally going to a war zone and then writing gonzo journalism. Also i'll have a massive portfolio because of that, maybe even has enough cred to be able to publish a novel.

>>11969826 >>11969419
I mean, he could teach english at West Point or VMI...but yeah, his options would be incredibly limited. Also any decent PhD program literally pays YOU (Harvard, Yale, etc.) bc they waive tuition and pay you a stipend plus TAing wages. So joining the army to cover just undergrad seems like a bad idea. If you are indeed poor and get into a good school, again, they will pretty much cover everything.

>>11969858
wait seriously? there are programs that pay for my tuition in certain universities? Fuck i have to look into that now, but seeing as i'm in a community college and am praying to anyone who'll listen to transfer to a decent 4 year idk if harvard or yale will even spit in my direction unless i publish a new york bestseller.

I want to write a story about two sisters named Jemima and Xtina. Jemima loves The Smiths so she throws forks and knives at her parents. Xtina is a lesbian nurse who writes erotic fanfiction under the pseudonym Dick Shovel. One day Jemima pranks her mother who dies from a heart attack.
The story will feature a lot of funny moments involving tampons, cucumbers and biscuits.

>>11969274
I agree with you, anon, and the other posters too. I'm glad you mentioned that part about Boomers because there is a real difference, and I've noticed it firsthand. At my uni's dining hall that I frequent, they cycle through weekly the various 'decades' playlists on SiriusXM, and the difference in tone is immediate: the 60's, 70's, and 80's (last one only partially) speak in a tone of reminiscence, of quaint longing for something wrapped up in a place and time that brings them joy to remember. They really do cherish these things, but there is a feeling of quiet acceptance and appreciation, that the music is just one aspect of what it meant to be alive back then, and that we shouldn't cling too earnestly to them because they are fleeting by nature.

With the 90's/00's, though, it's different. Very different. For them, the music IS the decade. In all likelihood, you can add video games and cartoons to that as well, but we're almost hitting peak coverage with that group alone. Tell me anon, have you seen that picture of the girl seated at her desk taken sometime in the 1990's as evidenced by the massive amount of branded toys in her room? When I first saw that, I thought, damn that's a lot of unnecessary stuff for one kid. But every time it's posted on 4chan, people say "I miss TMNT so much" or "Yeah, Rocket Power was the shit" or whatever. Unlike with the boomers, their nostalgia is decontextualized, so it's good for conversation at any time. And these people really shamelessly long for this stuff - it defines them. How much, you ask? Go into any pre-2010s focused meta thread on 4chan and you will see. Many of them come out with explicit sadness or anger at the newfags for ruining the site, and it seems they really mean it. That's something people my parents' age never do.

And the real question we all routinely ignore is, why is it such a big deal how good 4chan is? Well, because in the Millenial or Gen Z's eyes, this is their life. A life of internet, music, cartoons, and vidya. The longer they spend with it, the more reliant they become, and when it's snatched away, that's when they're really lost. You could take that moment to really grow as a person, to reach beyond the widest-drawn trap of our generation, but most won't. Entertainment is - ultimately - just a distraction. That's what the Boomers understand better than us. Rise above it, or don't. I think when all of us hit that point, the right choice will be obvious, but I won't tell any of you what to do.

>>11960486
Its seems that I still have her in my mind, even if I have my attention on another woman, even if we end our relationship in a good way, I still missing her

>>11968607
>>11968620

Thats very touching. I like how transparent your feelings and sincerity are throughout it. The only question is: Will you send it to her?

>it's an anon tries tinder again episode
why do I do this to myself I'll never meet my cute christian /lit/ gf this way

>>11970022
I will not. That would be cruel.

>>11970064
Well you won't find one in church either. You have to literally find that one old fart and buddy up with him so that he lets you meet his daughter. Then you have to not spill your spaghetti again with a girl this time and after that you have a CHANCE. You guys have unrealistic expectations.

>>11970109
I just don't understand why the fuck my pool of potential gfs peaked in HIGH SCHOOL when I was a total autismo. Someone asked ME to prom, what the fuck.

>>11970100
If you say so. Don't know how much this will mean coming from a total stranger, but I hope you find joy and love anon.

my sister and brother constantly bicker with each other. this has gone on for as long as I can remember, and I am 19 now. I've tried to step in and reconcile the two ever since I had the ability to do so, but its taken a toll on me. Lot of time wasted and stress that I shouldn't have. How do I restrain myself from physically attacking one of them? I've kind of thought to myself that if I brutalized one of them, maybe they would be too scared of me to ever bicker. I don't have an openly violent temprament, so it would be really shocking for them. I am capable of doing this act mentally and physically, but for obvious reasons I think its a bad idea. I know this isn't /adv/, but what do you guys think?

>>11970124
The pool is full, you just want the one filled with fiji water.

>>11970237
If someone told me an actual way to meet women I'd do it in a heartbeat, "go to the club brah" and "talk to people on the train brah" aren't actual advice.

>>11970247
You open your fucking mouth and you talk to them. You keep talking to them until they like you and then you can ask them out.

>>11970283
And where do I find these people? That's the part I'm struggling with anon

>>11970125
Thank you

>>11970326
>>11970247
you find them most everywhere. maybe the train isn't the best, but you could still probably find somebody there. you do things that you're interested in outside of your home, see people you think look interesting, and try to talk to them. most people go to bars or clubs to do this.

take it from me though: when you see that interesting person, you at least attempt to talk to them; while you find yourself in a smiling match with someone when talking with them actually goes well, you seize the opportunity, or that lost opportunity will be branded on you for years.

>>11968800
Right on the money

>>11969878
Keen observations of the zeitgeist.