/lit/ - Literature

>>11833538
i think i understand why dfw eliminated his own map for keeps, relapsing into depression after being okay for a prolonged time seems to me to be like those junkies who get clean and then die when they relapse because they couldn't take the dosage they were used to, fucking every thing is falling apart around me even though i still have a nice job, clean tidy, single now for a couple months but i felt fine after it ended and then one weekend later and i'm dead
i can't remember the last time it felt this bad

>>11833538
I’ve been led by the strange seductive hand of melancholy too far into this cold and lightless maze. Has anyone ventured here and returned to the daylight and fresh air once again? The green fields where lilies wave in the gentle breeze and laughing children play? No mental images flash upon my mind when I think of such things or write such words. There is only emptiness, darkness and a dull, humming pain.

I pass most of my time staring vacantly ahead, thinking of nothing, wanting nothing but to sleep. Occasionally I can wrest myself from this paralysis through fantasy. But it is as if the only real feeling I still have access to is a detached yet viciously misanthropic rage. It washes over me pleasantly, feels almost like floating, and yet within me flickers a hint of righteous malice.

I see myself standing high above a saluting crowd of men whose numbers stretch to the horizon. I see myself using speech to form the venom in my heart into the shape of some abstract enemy. I rile the men into a concentrated fury, into a band of savages; little better than beasts, they foam at the mouth for violent revenge against this enemy who I myself invented.

Those in the crowd who are not swept up in the mood are pulled to the sidelines by uniformed men and promptly shot. The crowd cheers, happy to be rid of such vermin.

Finally, with a roaring and impassioned flourish, I conclude my speech by ordering my men to disperse through the lands, exacting barbaric tolls from any who oppose me and my vision for an orderly future.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to cleanse the world of humanity, so that I could have the quiet earth to myself, and I would lay in the cool grass at night, and see the stars, as they used to be, before all our humming lights drowned out their magnificence, finally quiet, finally alone...

I walk around my house in a tracksuit and talk in an Italian accent. I've started to point at things like Paulie does in Sopranos.
Doing this is honestly one of the ways I cheer myself up, literally play make believe as an adult that I'm in the Mafia. One of the few sources of joy in my life

>>11833564
When I was in high school and home alone I would put on a tuxedo and do an old Vegas show in front of my bathroom mirror so i feel this.

I would like to watch a girl pull down her pants, squat down, and take a shit on the floor in front of me.

I am freaking the fuck out right now. Literally walking back and forth in my room at two am with my hands in my hair. Human beings hate weakness. It is all that we hate. Even the smug, morally self righteous of the world hate weakness more than anything. It's why the liberals are so obsessed with muh anime loving virgins and not, you now, the fit chads and frat bros who hold right of center beliefs. All we can do is fling shit at one another over looks and sex because we are fucking animals and I want out. All we do is self replicate and nothing more, but people are still so up their own ass about themselves. The only thing this world respects is strength. That's why I lift.

>>11833624
Played some no stakes video poker and now I'm better.

im sorry mindy i really am an awful person and being naïve is no excuse for anything ive ever done

>>11833679
ive just gotten out of some inpatient hall … the composition of whatever thought ive got left has yielded over to memory loss … but i still love you because i know i loved you, at some point that was once me, irretrievably me, that was once you, fatefully you … theres no getting over whats my reason in all my love, and that will always be you, and im sorry that i wasn't better

Now that autumn is setting in I feel myself getting ready to hunker down and dig in and start the comfy cold seasons. I already have a good coat and hiking boots but I'm going to buy long johns, a beanie and some new trousers without holes in them and maybe a portable heater to supplement the shitty radiator in my room, perhaps placed beneath my desk. Maybe some thick curtains to stop the draught. Rereading Oblomov in bed at night. I'm doing it right this year.

the only people i relate to are the other conned souls on the chans, all of us going with the motions hoping that someone would tell us we were good boys

when all that mattered this whole time was dying standing firm and not living on our knees

>>11833739
Move to China, they're literally implementing good boy points by 2020 or something.

I think I will, at least for a time, be able to settle into a comfy routine of hobbies -> work (part time) -> school -> rock gym -> write -> sleep, the on the weekends occupying myself with nice autumn hikes or more hobby work. Last year was very hard for me, my whole world was shattered and I was either on the verge of killing myself or else completely numb and empty at all times.I've reached some kind of synthesis now though, or at least I hope I have. I may have lost my naive, childlike fantasies of life but that doesn't mean I must now either struggle for normiehood or die, I can build my own little comfy world. I can focus on being good and doing productive and fulfilling things and living an aesthetic life. And hopefully, in time, I can find people to share it with.

Now I'm going to wrap myself up in a blanket, drink my coffee, and catch up on this /qst/ thread.

>>11833732
I know that feel anon. I hope to meet you some day autumn bro.

>>11833745
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH OUR SPECIES

>>11833772
Technology.

>>11833538
I wish I was dead.

>>11833803
No you don't.

>>11833538
I come here because I want to be smart and so many of you here have large intellects. I hope to absorb it. How many of you were like me? Or were you always smart or did you gain it from reading?

>>11833834
I think this website only made me dumber.

I look for a list of all literary, and extant, greco-roman works written between 500BC and 500AD.
This seems impossible to find, as if such an obvious thing has been somehow missed by everyone.

>>11833838
I don’t think so for me but I wish I could read so many of the books discoursed about here, yet I’m a late starter. I’m 41 and have read 9 books that I had recommended from here in one year, but it seems to have helped my intellect, but not tons. Does that make sense?

>>11833538
David tennant overrated doctor

Finding myself consistently broke despite having being not supposed to be so.
The studiesl/work looping-relation is deadly, ultimately supposed to fuck you over but almost no other way out depending of your ambition.
It's not ony an american thing.

>>11833843
>I wish I could read so many of the books discoursed about here, yet I’m a late starter.
Don't waste time wishing, just get out and read!

>but it seems to have helped my intellect, but not tons.
The more you read, the more you'll learn and grow. Think of much you will have progressed by this time, next year.

Have fun!

>>11833856
Thank you for the reply. I know your right but sometimes I worry it will not be enough or that I’m too late. Thanks.

>>11833866
>I worry it will not be enough or that I’m too late.

Don't age slow you down, and don't let anybody ever give you shit for 'starting late'.

You just do what you wanna do and enjoy it, anon.

D.G.?

>>11833564
fantastic.

>>11833732
Why Oblomov? Just curious.

>>11833843
Worry less and read more.

>>11834027
One of my favourite books and it pairs well with long evenings spent inside.

>>11833538
Mortality is the quintessential Sword of Damocles, inescapable and ever-present. We shrug at it, suppressing our own fear, the ultimate fear of nonexistence. Every now and then, however, the point of the blade (if it has a name I don't know it) just scuffs our heads, reminds us that it's still there, ever-present, waiting without bias or malice, simply hanging around, no idea of when the thread will decay, content knowing that one day it's purpose will be fulfilled. With such an existence as pointless or self-determined as humanity has, for all our fears and reservations with it, we should take comfort in knowing that even if we are forgotten, by living and dying, we fulfill the purpose of the blade that ends us.

Her.

>>11834062
Trippy!
>>11834064
Fuck you for reminding me!

I miss those, long tanned arms wrapped around me, the saltwater on your lips, my face rising and falling with your chest, my ear hard against your heart.

>>11834064
Pretty decent flick.

>take uni writing course last year
>smart, cute girl sits who sits right across from me the whole semester handwrites a full page review gushing about my story in extreme detail, telling me she loves it and thinks I'm the best writer in the class
>everytime I went to class after I thought about thanking her, but always backed out because I'm terrified of talking to women
>don't say a word to her all semester
Even my therapist got angry at me for not doing anything.

I was watching eyes wide shut last night and that scene with cruise and kidman came up about fidelity while theyre high. Ive had this exact argument with my long term gf. Do women just not understand lots of men arent the jealous types? I get this might make them feel unattractive but its nothing about that.

>>11834113
Go find her anon

>>11833834
If you are capable of taking in information and retaining it, seeing it from different perspectives and being able to 'learn' in general then you are capable of becoming an intelligent man and having intellect to rival some of the best on lit. learned-Intelligence is simply a matter of time if you are capable of learning, even if you learn slowly.

>>11834179
Yes but I want to write books for the world to enjoy and I need my mind to grow much bigger than what it is now. I’m trying but I just have worries like everyone I guess

I have a hard time trying to consume less stuff and still doing my hobby (wargame models specifically Warhammer). I enjoy it for the imagination I can use to create and because it, for me at least, was/is a gateway to actual art. Sculpting, painting, kitbashing, etc. I really enjoy it. It's overpriced as all hell and a really consuming thing. There's a lot of FOMO for me but I try to resist.

It's my only actual hobby, so I guess it's not too bad but I do feel like a retarded consumer. I wonder if I would feel the same way with canvas paintings and such.

I got really interested in the occult a few months ago and it's fucking great.I haven't enjoyed reading in a long time but some books about this topic are so fucking great.

I think if you want to read but can't get yourself to read forget about what /lit/ recommends and just read something that you enjoy and want to know more about.

>>11834288
Have they started showing up in the corners of your vision, anon?

I want to violently murder myself.
Also angry because a lot of good works I want to read are yet to be translated to my language as I refuse to read in e*glish.

>>11834311
>he doesn’t know it’s called suicide

>>11834322
You can take a pill and be done with.
Hardly violent.

>>11834288
>and just read something that you enjoy and want to know more about

yeah well duh

>>11833538
I don't mind living like a miserable loner but living with regrets is just too much.
You aren't safe even in your dreams, they always come back and torture you, they keep your hopes down.
But what's worse is that you never get used to them, you'd better be dead .

I really need to do the dishes I don't have anything to cook with until I do

>>11833560
Started well, but turned out to be pretty edgy

I have to go to bed soon and I don't want to wake up

>tfw realizing I'll never make it in academia
>tfw the industrial applications of my field range from "helping corporate shareholders extract more money from rubes" to "borderline warcrimes with the military-industrial complex"
>tfw probably going to end up with an unrelated, low-paying job just to keep my sanity
>tfw your college education was a total waste
Fuck.

>>11834612
>borderline warcrimes with the military-industrial complex
sounds pretty lit, I’d do that

>>11834634
Nah man call me a dumb leftist or whatever the fuck you want but I'll have no part in that shit

>>11833843

>>11834612
>>11834634
>>11834661
anon, what did you major in, national security? did it really sound good at first?

>>11834661
hey man keep politics and work separate, I work in defense and was a member of the periklean society in college

>>11834699
Mathematics with an emphasis on optimization and number theory

>>11834718
>keep politics and work separate

>>11834612
>"borderline warcrimes with the military-industrial complex"
Sounds pretty cool

>>11834735
so you’re a glorified industrial engineer
yeah I’d recommend considering the one truly serious philosophical problem

Fuck you cute girl that won't respond to my messages anymore. I like you and would make you the happiest girl on the world you piece of shit.

>>11833538
I feel lost, dazed and confused. My mind wanders to many places, to the point where my thoughts and feelings have no place to rest. At this point they've flown over every corner of my head, creating an uncontrollable flurry of emotions, thoughts, hopes and fantasies. It is only a matter of time before this flurry manifests itself, and I can only hope I find her before that happens. She too suffers the same fate, and the only road to salvation for both of us is making her see, and hope she'll understand.

>>11834612
>Having empathy

Never gonna make it

>>11833538
I want to go home and watch another James Bond movie

>>11834765
Not really, I don't know to engineer anything more complicated than pulley. So in many ways your conclusion is even more valid.

>tfw just wanted to research comfy questions like "how do you minimize a function of infinite variables?"

>>11834815
>I don't know to engineer anything more complicated than pulley
then you are in fact an industrial engineer

If you were to create an anarchocaptalist "nation" or comune, would you be able to prevent the invasion of an external organized force?

>>11834974
This is a very broad question. While asymmetric warfare can be successful, it's generally contingent on the defensive force being composed of desperate people with nothing to lose. I doubt most advocates of anarchocapitalism would qualify. If you had multiple communes, you could imagine they would have formed some kind of defensive pact allowing them to mobilize a larger counter force than any individual commune would have been able to support, however if there are enough communes to allow that the question becomes "where did the external organized force come from?". So I'd say that overall no, they wouldn't, and that like most radical societal structures ancapitalism would need to be adopted globally at least to a degree that a city police force couldn't role over the entire area.

Also not an ancap.

>>11833538
I need to go pee

>>11834974
I bet you would see tendencies of the whole anarcho-capitalist part of the system eventually contradicting itself. In other words you'd see the formation of public state apparatuses.

There's a reason defense of hearth and home has always been seen as a public duty in times of dire strife. Outsourcing your defense to mercenaries is trusting the life of your family and everything you've ever valued with someone working for coin who could turn on you at the behest of the highest bidder.

Contract solders and rent-a-cops are not sufficient to organize an impetuous and stalwart defensive war. You need to pull together people who unite behind the common cause of national defense and by extension community and self defense.

So you would see collaborate efforts by the anarcho-capitalist statelets to form state-like unified public organizations like the military.

I'm gonna start at a new job tomorrow

>>11834766
she can smell your room from here

>>11834974
If history shows anything it’s that centralised forces BTFO everything.

Guerillas only have some succes against decadent democracies concerned with muh human rights, otherwise you just genocide their entire people and be done with it.

I wish I was crazier than I am. That seems like an absurd statement at first glance, but hear me out. What people call crazy sometimes isn't mentally ill, it's simply transgressive. It goes beyond. It steps outside the comfortable ring of formal relations. It summons, like some demoniac warlock, potent primal forces. It warders the moonlit underbrush and soars above the star-outlined canopies. It's the power of the lycanthrope, the shapeshifter, the shaman...the inner power of unconsciousness unbounded.

There's a reason that during the craziest years of my life I was also the most creative. And you can't put a price on creativity bracketed and defined by intelligence. It's my only true salvation!

>>11835102
It is, however, a double-edged blade.

>>11835102
you're trying too hard, u sound like you're 19

Are intellectual rights good or bad for the free market? Are ideas a finite resource that need to have their ownership protected like property?

>>11833538
Have I been banned ?

>>11835248
Now I sure am lucky

Every Sunday night I put on a 10-fold accumulator, hoping to wake up finding that I've won about 20 grand. One of these days...

>>11835102
as a crazy person- you do not want to be crazy. Any mystery or allure that we produce is outweighed 10fold by the fucking destruction of everything you love that madness causes. There is nothing romantic about any of this.

I would throw away every piece of art I have ever made if I could be sane again, and i wouldnt even hesitate

Gf 6 months got pissy after i made jokes about her losing her keys (all quite silly) proceeded to fake cry and now wont return texts
Pretty fucking annoying but im too attached to not feel sleighted and down about this
What a pain in the fucking ass this is the first time she is playing games, seems like the beginning of the end

Time to start monkey branching?

I wonder if a nun ever rode Kant's death mask in order to achieve climax.

>>11834440
>I don't mind living like a miserable loner but living with regrets is just too much.
if i had lived my life till now with complete disregard for other's opinions, i may have still been a loner but i would not have the regret i have now

>>11833856
All I want in life is a Ritsu gf. Oh god why must I long for these things so out of my reach.

I had a horrifying and bizarre dream last night. It was an isometric view of a city (the visuals looked really similar to SimCity 2000) but after removing the ground layer, under the city was a massive web of fleshy organs pulsating and warping about. It was all this dirty peachish fleshtone, with no blood or bones. There were some really thin blue nerves (?) running around this network as well. Then, right before I woke up, a voice echoed "the whole city is infected."

>>11835572
I dreamed that my father was telling me about testicles and testicular cancer prevention.

I'm too much of a brainlet to read Ulysses.

Instructions for tomorrow's lesson: "Speak in tongues."

>>11835572
Hi Nick

I've hit an absolute brick wall with university. My anxiety is usually enough to motivate me. But now, I just can't anymore. God I hate it all. Just even getting an internship is hell. Everyone around me would betray each other in a second for an internship. Nothing has interested me for years. Far out I tried to kill myself when I was 10 and it never really got better since then. It will get better at high school, it will get better at uni etc etc etc. It never does.

I feel so utterly disconnected from life. I even have friends and I'm social. But I feel like I'm lying everyitm I smile. I do copious amounts of exercise. I read everyday. I eat healthy. I'm on anti depressants. It never gets better.

My only hope is saving money then buying a cabin in the midle of nowhere. But I get anxious when I do nothing and depressed when I do things. I'm just so tired bros.

>>11835588
me too my negro

Is Chomsky right about the ways the media and elite manipulate public perception and control the Overton window? I feel very uncomfortable and paranoid after reading some of his essays desu.

>>11835588
I think 99% of people are 2bh

anyone know a good book to get in to poetry? Like a collection of works or something. Mummy said to choose a birthday present. Also can someone explain poetry. why is it beter than say a normal book?

>>11835647
Anthology of English poetry, start with Caedmon's hymn.
No seriously take a poetry class.

>Also can someone explain poetry. why is it beter than say a normal book?
Poetry uses the subliminal qualities of language. It's like written music.

>>11835666
>subliminal qualities
Mind expanding on this?

https://www.bookdepository.com/search?searchTerm=Anthology+of+English+poetry&search=Find+book
which one is the best?

>>11835639
Read Antonio Gramsci and it will become clear that it's not just the media that is being manipulated.

>>11835625
Nick Land? I've actually never read his work. Was the dream a sign that I should?

>>11835639
Chomsky is himself part of the elite that control the Overton window

Things genuinely outside the overton window are things like open racism, monarchy, patriarchy, etc.

>>11835690
Perhaps now, at the time he seemed to be outside of it though. E.g., https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counter-Revolutionary_Violence

>>11835689
Cthulhoid technohorror was his thing before he became a washed-out twitter celeb.

No longer think about suicide as I've now transformed into a passive addict for the pains of ordinary life. I find myself seeing it as an approximation to a kind of spectacle that's simply less boring than death.

It feels as though I've ventured too far into unknown lands and no longer feel I want to go home since I've been lost for too long.

>>11835702
Chomsky was rewarded witha cushy job and international prestige. He is 100% within the system, he IS the system

>>11835842
Yeah in 2018 he is, I find it hard to believe that someone who caused an entire publishing house to be shuttered just to prevent the publication of his book was in the system at the time.

And does his being in system even do anything other than make concerns about manipulation even more justified? Like not only will the elite have "measured dissent", they'll have a guy who dissents to the measured dissent to further control those who may slip outside of the mainstream.

>>11835860
That's what they want you to think.

>>11835860
>they'll have a guy who dissents to the measured dissent to further control those who may slip outside of the mainstream.
That's basically exactly who he is, so Im not sure how you can view him as being genuinely subversive. They lock up or noplatform genuine subversives

>>11835895
I mean his writings just opened my eyes to the scope of some of this shit, isn't that subversive? Even if the State wants people to get trapped in a faux-subversive state, Chomsky is still moving people away from the mainstream and closer to genuine subversiveness.

>>11834612
>borderline warcrimes with the military-industrial complex

My ex girlfriend has done a ridiculous number of horrible things to me. Cheating, lying, manipulation, abandoment without reason to name a few. When i think about her i get genuinely angry and i hate her.
Yet for some reason theres something deep inside me that longs for her. Longs for her constantly, day and night. Even when im with other girls this longing doesnt cease, not even for a second.
It doesnt seem like this is ever going to stop, its driving me insane. Its been over two years. I want off this ride

Im trying to write a book but can only muster 200 words a day and I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me

>>11835639
Take a fun little moment and look at who owns the major media companies of the world. The happen to be the world's wealthiest people. A bit of a coincidence, no?

You wouldn't own a newspaper or a tv channel or anything of the sort unless you wanted to control what people were seeing, hearing, thinking and talking about, wouldn't you?

But all that has been flushed down the drain. With the advent of the internet is has become all but impossible to control the narrative. There is just too much abundance of information. Even China in all its efforts at censorship is in a constant frenzy to put out fires and is always one step behind the Chinese people.

People will believe what they want and will want what they believe. There's no controlling scope of it since if people don't find what they want they will create it themselves in /mlp/ or r/buttplugs

I was looking up a book about Marcus Crassus and my library spit out results for Spartacus: The tv show. There are very few books about Marcus Crassus who was a huge behind-the-scenes player in the first century bc. It makes me realize I've reached a level in my personal studies where I have to pray to god I can find a pdf and import it into my ereader. Sometimes I can find these books on Amazon for $800 bucks. Obviously the ereader is much more sensible. Feels pretty good to be diving into esoterica though.

>>11836599
Is your style minimalist? Do you write plot-light, simple stuff? How much do you write for daily?

200 words a day is not a terrible tempo if you write every day, edit on the go, and take less than 3 hours to write them. Some great books were, mathematically speaking, written way more slowly (which is, again, a purely mathematical view, diving the number of days spent writing and number of pages by each other).

Maybe try increasing it over time? Standard print page is 230-ish words, so if you write that many, it's simple maths, one page a day.

i have been pinned down for two days by foul weather.tomorrow i need to pack up camp and hitch out because my supplies are almost exhausted and i've been in this town too long.im worried about what the road ahead will bring.i will be heading into memphis.last time i was in memphis a police car stopped and told me there had been 7 murders the last week.im worried about being attacked by niggers.but that memphis thing happened many years ago when i was new to the road.i know better now but it still bothers me that no go zones exist in america.

>>11833772
Oriental totalitarianism.

>>11834113
Reading this made me angry.

Go find her or I will kill myself and personally haunt you your entire life, along with your guilt and regret.

>>11834113
We're reaching autism levels that /r9k/ didn't know were possible.

>>11834113
Imagine being this socially inpet. She did everything but literally send a written request for you to talk to her

This is an idea I've had inside my head for far too long. I've considered fleshing it out, but want to know what /lit/ thinks.
https://pastebin.com/jK6U2DJB

Goddamn I feel so angry
Got a bad grade on my test. Everyone who I talk to did better than me.
I study well, I understand it all. It was my fault. I rushed through it, I knew every answer I got wrong and could fix it if given the opportunity. I was laying in bed the night after the rest realizing all the things I got wrong. If I had just taken my time I probably could have gotten a 100%.
I don't even know why I'm so frustrated. I think it's because I'm taking the class with a girl I know and she got a higher grade than me even though I understand the material better.

I think I'm finally gonna see a therapist, I don't feel mentally healthy. I've become unhinged as of late

>>11834186
>>11833834
This place took me from rags to riches - quite literally. I have always been a viciously curious type, but a dead beat in school.

Finding lit was truly like opening the flood gates of my thinking.

I´ve been here one or two years, don´t come too often now, since i often tend to ponder things at just the above tier than what discussion allow for here. It sounds weird that one would dare to have such high ideas about his own thinking, but this board truly has the potential to inspire, for those few selected that has the intentions to listen.

The Intellect is a very high ideal and can take you places - and this board is an outstanding training ground.

>>11833560
If i´d known how to make strikethrough here i´d cross out a couple of superfluous words.


Although - the idea is very clearly there.

If this is how you genuinly feel then that means you are sick - not necessarily primarely mentally, but indeed physically/physiologically.

I myself just recently have patched up an abundance of digestive and GI-trackt issues and has felt the whole of the thoughts about myself completely transform...

Look up what the internet is saying about treating: Sibo, candida, leaky gut and it´s relationship to stress and how it ties together autoimmune issues which causes you to perpetually kill yourself.

Getting close to roping. I have life so good and I’m still not happy; friends. Freshman in college. No debt. Good grades (not that that means much considering I’m in 100 levels for the most part). I still can’t help but feel like there’s no point to this and that I’m just watching time tick by without understanding anything I do until it finally is all too much and I blow my brains all over the ceiling at 40 having finally come to the realization that I have never been contented in my entire life except for brief periods of influence under drugs. Which usually just exacerbate my problems once I come down. The worst is that I’ve finally realized that all of my profound “realizations” about life in the past year or two (mostly stemming from my psych usage; namely LSD and shrooms) are actually meaningless bullshit and that I spent the entirety of the past year getting high and preaching bullshit to myself and others.

I have been having very strange dreams these past couple of days. Last night I had a dream where I was eating lunch with some friends. I was not anxious in the slightest (like I usually am) and was making everyone laugh. While I was cracking jokes two of my friends started having sex on the table (the girl specifically is one who I've had a crush on for a long time). I carried on but I was grinding my teeth together so hard I thought they would shatter. I then woke up and was still angry for some reason.

I don't know what I want to do in life.
I am a child caught in the transition of generations, my older siblings being raised in prime environments prior to the internet to contrast with my formative years shaped by the mind of the collective. I feel like a walking hypocrisy, my once degenerate obsession with pornography, although extinguished through fasting, still haunts me when I predict the inevitable confrontation when I reveal my previous perversions in preservation of transparency.

I went into the sciences, in some attempt to find something I enjoyed. My skills were adept enough to find a prestigious position, something any of my siblings would admire to obtain, yet it does not satisfy me. My mind wanders to the profession of spreading the gospel of education to youths in places who often have little chance of gaining recourse by the state, but in my evaluation of my life so far, should I advocate for a system that will leave them shackled with the death to freedom known as debt, while giving them only egos as inflated as balls of hot gas? It is certainly not my authority to decide their fates, or to take that opportunity from them through my inability to participate, but the thought stews in my mind. Although these conclusions came only through thorough reflection as a student of the system, should those people also be forced into such a system to make such a similar revelation?

I feel a constant pull in my heart. I want to do well and mean well by people, performing public service or doing some public good, but if it is all done for the average person who will not do much with their own life, should I waste that time I have been allotted in the service of those less talented? Is it only an attempt at vanity to prove my own worth through the achievement of others as opposed to achieving my own success? In that same regard, I want to be isolated, wishing to be separated from the objects through which give me stress and cause me torment. I want to disengage in life, but the voice of my potential ring loudly such that I can never bring myself to even considering seclusion viable. If time were infinite, I would iterate into skills and passions forever, in hopes of making sure there were no rock unturned to find my talent, but as time is a vapor, this breath I take must be used to its best ability. Maybe I just need to sleep on it.

if it weren't for my girlfriend I'd basically be the target audience for the 23 year old doomer shitpost. at some point i'll need to write about what it's actually like trying to hack my way through the fog that keeps me from thinking as clearly as I'm capable of, but of course I can't really do that without solving the problem. If I'm actually set off by any kind of trigger, even an argument, I can function, but it leads to me only having a solid thought process when I'm frustrated or daydreaming. I've probably been the same way my whole life, and if I ever solved it I'd probably be somebody. The worst part is trying to write, I know I'm fundamentally good at it but it's like I can't hold the structure of a story in my head, as if beyond window dressing and tiny vignettes the craft is a target at the corner of my vision that moves whenever I try to look at it. If I hadn't spent my whole life being effortlessly brilliant in school (but only when solving problems or something else I don't have to put effort towards, I lazed my way to mediocrity), I'd assume I'm just not smart enough to write. The way things are, I'm just hoping I can chisel away at my brain problems while I also work for 15 an hour. At the very least, I'm off drugs, have the support of a qt3.14 gf, and can avoid my family. The writing in this post is fucking garbage, but if I actually try to think clearly right now I'll never post anything.

honestly people on this site are extremely ignorant

We gathered around, just a bunch of incels in a circlejerk. Boris wipped out his throbbing veiny cock and glanced at the TV, the '40s italian vintage, incest porn made his cock even harder. Next to him sat my best friend, grigori. He was not so fond on the idea of us sitting in a circle and masturbating on New Years Eve, but there was nothing better to do. We were just a bunch of incels, with no hope of ever getting any coitus with a real life female.

>>11837375
i just quit psychs but honestly, don't write everything you experienced off. They don't hand you insight on a silver platter like people think they do, but they kick you out of your normal thought patterns and let you approach mundane issues from a perspective that's not wholly your own.
>>11837429
desu I understand the dilemma of wanting to make people more educated or enlightened when that self-betterment is gated by debt. I would want to get a degree, even a graduate degree, if there were any way in hell I could afford to, but I can't even justify taking the years to prioritize education if it means I won't be supporting myself. I feel like you shouldn't try and hunt down the skill you're supposedly talented at, though. More helpful is trying to determine what art, service, or whatever the fuck you wish existed but doesn't, and find a way to create that.

I'm in the process of sketching a Botticelli and it is not an easy time. The man had talent. The man had grace.

>>11835568
Because this is real life and anime was written for basement dwelling neck-beads like yourself to drive up sales. You were easy pickings and I had a bad day. Not making this personal between us. It's just passive aggressive vent posting.

>>11837507
People everywhere are extremely ignorant, you ignorant fuck.

How do I reconcile my lack of time and love of film with my want of good literature

I have two stories on my mind that I think would make good books

One is a certainty that I know will be good, and it's a self-contained story, but I'm not too passionate about it

The other is something I've wanted to write for years and that I just thought up a perfect and timely antagonist for, but there's a good chance it's crap, and it would end up being something I'd feel obligated to continue for quite some time. Also, the antagonist might not be timely for that much longer

>>11837579
try to read, because you won't need to try to watch films

>>11837498

I have a series of questions for you.

>if it weren't for my girlfriend I'd basically be the target audience for the 23 year old doomer shitpost.

What is she doing for you that you can't do for yourself?

>at some point i'll need to write about what it's actually like trying to hack my way through the fog that keeps me from thinking as clearly as I'm capable of, but of course I can't really do that without solving the problem.

Do you not notice that this is the epitome of complacency?

>If I'm actually set off by any kind of trigger, even an argument, I can function, but it leads to me only having a solid thought process when I'm frustrated or daydreaming.

What qualifies a "thought process" as "solid" for you? Why do you think it is the case that you're only lucid when you're upset or daydreaming?

>I've probably been the same way my whole life, and if I ever solved it I'd probably be somebody. The worst part is trying to write, I know I'm fundamentally good at it but it's like I can't hold the structure of a story in my head, as if beyond window dressing and tiny vignettes the craft is a target at the corner of my vision that moves whenever I try to look at it.

No shit. It's hard.
How can you be fundamentally good at something and admit to your inadequacy at that said something? Moreover, why do you think posting on a neo-alt left right left right up down start A konami programmer's forum is going to solve this "problem" you speak of?

>If I hadn't spent my whole life being effortlessly brilliant in school (but only when solving problems or something else I don't have to put effort towards, I lazed my way to mediocrity),

Gonna stop you there. Has it dawned on your brilliant mind that you were a big fish in a small pond? Would a brilliant mind "laze" their way to mediocrity and then complain about being in a rut because they're too busy complaining about the problem they refuse to solve? If your answer to that question is no, then you are the subject of inquiry. Assuming that is the case, how will you proceed to fix this "problem" and put your "brilliant" mind to use? You know, the mind that can only focus when it's angry or daydreaming.

>I'd assume I'm just not smart enough to write. The way things are, I'm just hoping I can chisel away at my brain problems while I also work for 15 an hour. At the very least, I'm off drugs, have the support of a qt3.14 gf, and can avoid my family. The writing in this post is fucking garbage, but if I actually try to think clearly right now I'll never post anything.

Ah here's the vein. Do you think avoiding your family will be better for you? What happens if you lose the support of your qt3.14159265358979? Have you put the precautions in place so you don't relapse? I'm sure you could if you thought clearly. Keep a journal if you don't. Question yourself. Question your own actions and try to come to a higher self knowledge. Do you really want to go back to the way things were?

Anon out

>>11837579
Read screenplays and watch movie adaptations while you ask dumb questions on 4chan instead of pursuing your love.

>>11833538
almost everyone here is nick mullen as usual
especially
>>11833564
>>11833573
>>11833624
>>11834322
>>11834634
>>11835013

>>11835379
shes pmsing chill. buy her flower bouquet
>>11835383
i would

>>11835379
I'd break up with her. If you want to be single, refer to the previous sentence. If not, carry on. Carry on.

>>11837594
I won't respond to every piece of this because that'd be corny as shit, but I do keep a journal. It's better some days than others. If the idea here is that bitching on 4chan is admitting defeat, I figure I didn't come here intending to say anything but dumping my insecurities on you people isn't the worst way to force myself to confront them. I have a lot of work to do, and it's slow work.

>>11837645
Just looking out. The rest is on you. Patience and diligence.

I'm not sure if I'm adequate enough for a regular job. Not in the sense that I'm better than everyone else though, far from it, rather it's from a deep suspicion that I'm just too mentally slow to absorb all the unwritten rules and regulaments.

Reading Quixote.

Is it the don who sees the world as it really is?
Is everyone else blinded by fear? Sometimes I feel this way, that if you could suddenly forget your doubts and concerns that the world could suddenly become fantastical.

lesbian asslicking porn is ruining me but i can't imagine stopping

also i miss my father and grandmother who passed away (even though all they did was try to get me to get a haircut and shave and thought my depression was unattractive to their image of me as an investment)

f

>>11833538
It would be better if the world population was lower so that people would actually have meaning in their lives and not be alienated by superfluity.

>>11835639
Chomsky does diagnose *some* things correctly but ultimately he is a massive blue pill soaked in red #3, as Moldbug says. He (perhaps unknowingly at times?) argues for more control by the Cathedral.

>>11837709
>Is it the don who sees the world as it really is?
No. Windmills are not Giants. And he admits he lied about Montesino's Cave.

>>11833538
god

>>11837799
is good

>>11833538
worried that i am not cute enough for my bf, hes an objectively cooler person than i am. i reassure myself that since i like the same weird things as him and remain loving and supportive despite all his gloomy idiosyncracies that i am one of a kind. but he could so easily find another girl to s his d all the time!
he sort of,,, got me into 4chan although i knew about it for ages and this board is my favorite but i think i only go on this website because the way men talk about women here is so brutally honest that it makes me feel terrible about myself. makes me hold myself up to really perfectly hot celebrities. makes me terrified of aging, having kids (because i am so scared to be worthless, and being a cute young woman makes me really happy). i think i am a solid 8 usually if i look in the mirror, but after going on this site i usually see all the ugliest parts :( hes very sweet to me but i am worried sometimes that im not good enough

>>11837824
giv milkies pls mommy : )

>>11837824
post feet

>>11837824
We need Thot ban like 8ch

>>11837824
yes please post feet >>11837854

>>11833753
If you are fulfilled and full of virtue then those people that love virtue will come.
God bless you anon.

>>11837824
roastie sad that youre ugwy??

>>11837857
this

What is it that attracts so many young men to art of woman with inhuman characteristics ? Even though we (young men) prefer the comfort of a screen due to many social hurdles we can't overcome, why choose girls with horns, cat ears or unfeminine muscles or even penises ? Are we so afraid we started praising inhuman women ? Sorry for shit engrish

>>11837824
Behold, the female mind. Even women who hold the highest office hold similar thoughts. Could someone remind me again why such specimens are allowed to engage in the professions of men?

>>11837824
literally fuck you your life is probably better than nearly everybody i know

>>11837873
you boys complain about this same stuff all the time! why can't i just post my thoughts too!

>>11837872
Also Bowsette is hot as fuck, God damnit my dick can only take so much punishment

>>11837890
well you are complaining about being an 8 and having a boyfriend. if a guy were to come in here and do the reverse thing he would rightfully be called out on such faggotry

but carry on this board is basically for shitposting now

>>11837890
Those are sad specimens, the last men of history, if you will. The difference is that practically all women think in the same manner as you (it's not your fault, it's rooted in your biology) but there are still a decent percentage of men who can rise above such petty and base thoughts.
It really boggles me when people dare to suggest that men and women are anywhere near the same.

>>11837897
right? imagine having everything and being this ungrateful

>>11837872
Because drawings of girls with penises are far better than the real deal.

>>11837892
baysed

I CANNOT WRITE WHAT IS ON MIND I DONT HAVE A WRITE

>it's another watching wedding videos and couples' travel montages at 5am episode
Feels pretty good I feel genuinely better than those people

Sometimes it seems like people in the Medieval Ages were exactly like us. I'm not sure why I have this feeling, but it's very strong, and it's almost like all developments since then are just ornament with which we deceive ourselves.

>>11837961
In a sense, they were like us. After all, man has not changed for thousands of years, merely the world around him has. Although I'd like to think at least some of them were a lot better than people now.

‘In this kind of house you have the mystery of the elder England.
What was Raleigh’s phrase? “High thoughts and divine contemplations.”
The people who built this sort of thing lived closer to
another world, and thought bravely of death. It doesn’t matter
who they were – Crusaders or Elizabethans or Puritans – they all
had poetry in them and the heroic and a great unworldliness.
They had marvellous spirits, and plenty of joys and triumphs; but
they also had their hours of black gloom. Their lives were like
our weather – storm and sun. One thing they never feared –
death. He walked too near them all their days to be a bogey.’

>>11837925
Why tho ? If you are being serious about I'd also like to share that many times I have fantasized about being a a cute tall girl so my life would be easier. What the fuck is wrong

>>11837961
It's true. Read deeply about any ancient or medieval people and you'll see they were just like us, but also different... And in many ways Superior or at least admirable

>>11837238
Don't let a grade define you. Now you know what you did badly, next time be better at it.

>>11837913
>but there are still a decent percentage of men who can rise above such petty and base thoughts.
This is the most wrong post I have read and your lack of self awareness is stunning. I really should be getting used to mingling with autistic or clueless men at this point but some of you niggers are dense as lead
>>11837977
Often I wonder why do men fantasize of being women instead of better men

>>11838053
women are complete trash you disgusting fucking faggot nigger

eat shit and die

>>11838066
Then why do men fantasize about being women? What's up with the imbalance of gender dysphoria?
Your forced edginess is trite btw

>>11838066
i love women so much you retard, they are so soft and kind !! they are the best, especially the kind that are submissive and nurturing and well read. the kind that will lick my balls, god i love women so much fuck!

>>11838053
>This is the most wrong post I have read and your lack of self awareness is stunning.
Pure ad hom. You didn't refute my post in the slightest. Typical emotional response.

>>11838085
the only thing trite is your mothers pussy due to being ravaged by every single nigger in brooklyn disgusting little subhuman filth

>>11838053
You literally bleed from your hole every month. Please don't tell me you are not more likely to be a slave to your base desires when it is in your biology.

>>11838110
Look at the responses to my post, this thread and this site (and similars) dedicated to bitching and whining. To feel validated in your own shortcomings and deflect personal resonsibility. I wonder if this is the hardest or the easiest epoch to be a man
>m-muh adhoms
If hanging onto delusions of ""logic"" makes you feel better about yourself, so be it Anon. This is an old dance and I'm tired of it

>>11838142
What does my post have to do with brainlet anons with no argumentative skills? Stop trying to deflect, typical woman. My point still stands. I won't disagree with you that most men have no self awareness, but there is still a reasonable amount that do. Women on the other hand are totally hopeless and slaves to their emotions and carnal desires.

females are complete dogshit

every sane writer despised females, even the cucks that worshiped, got to interact and have sex with them.

>>11838087
kys niggerfaggot

>>11837824
>makes me terrified of aging, having kids (because i am so scared to be worthless, and being a cute young woman makes me really happy)

Well at least you're being honest, this applies to all Western women

More proof that universal suffrage was a mistake

>>11837824
Assuming this isnt bait, (it is)You sound my like my gf but I'll be honest with you, Most dudes get fucking lazy about fucking other chicks once we have one generally speaking.

Back at uni and I guess I don't see the point. I am an absolute brainlet, and I feel like learning or understanding complex ideas is beyond me. I still don't have any friends but I am getting better at dealing with the loneliness. I keep hoping to find answers to all the problems in my life, but it seems like the more I learn the more I don't know. Life is ok though. Trying not to stress about grades.

Is teenage angst a consistent historical phenomenon or is it only a recent one?

>be me
>start with the greeks
>find the stoics inspiring, try to apply some of their philosophy in my everyday life
>since then I'm more happy and content and generally less stressed
>gf regularly accuse me of being autistic

I just received a carefully positive reply on my job application. I'm close to panicing and I can't find my copy of The Ego and It's Own.

I was walking down the street, when out the corner of my eye I saw a pretty little thing approaching me, she said, "I never seen a man Who looked so all alone, could you use a little company?" "If you pay the right price your evening will be nice and you can go and send me on my way" I said, "You're such a sweet young thing Why you do this to yourself?"
She looked at me and this is what she said
"Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked Money don't grow on trees I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed There ain't nothing in this world for free"

Is it hypocritical to try and live stoically yet take anti-anxiety meds?

>>11839054
I wouldn't say so. If medicine help you handle external impressions more in line with nature taking those meds sounds like the right decision to me. Of course your ultimate goal should be to make due without the meds.

>>11833538
I keep trying to write my masters thesis but the writing just won’t flow. I’ve already taken way longer on it than I intended to, and the university doesn’t care so long as I keep paying every semester. But my parents are pissed I’ve wasted so much time and are gunna kick me out soon, and if I can’t write the damn thing while living at home with next to no responsibilities, I have no idea how I’ll manage to do it when I’m working and living on my own.

Writing is fucking hard.

im on the right path

>Try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; your personality will grow stronger, your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance. And if out of , this turning within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. Nor will you try to interest magazines in these works: for you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it. A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. That is the only way one can judge it.

Bitches and whores

I read books on how to write, so I have an excuse for why I'm not writing, when really I just don't have the motivation to

>>11837429
That´s extremely well put.

And It´s glaringly obvious that YOU NEED REST. My strong suggestion is that when next time summer comes around, take the WHOLE SUMMER OFF. Only spend time with that one friend who relates to his/her surroundings in romantic strokes. If you can´t find one of those, get on a train... At least for the summer. But vacation means resting - not ANYTHING else.

I wrote a long ass response but it got deleted. What i wanted to say also is that the emotional dichotomy you´ve created is really within your limit to reach and move past. You have great intentions and a sharp intellect.
Social change is really banal. Really.


>My mind wanders to the profession of spreading the gospel of education to youths in places who often have little chance of gaining recourse by the state, but in my evaluation of my life so far, should I advocate for a system that will leave them shackled with the death to freedom known as debt, while giving them only egos as inflated as balls of hot gas? It is certainly not my authority to decide their fates, or to take that opportunity from them through my inability to participate, but the thought stews in my mind. Although these conclusions came only through thorough reflection as a student of the system, should those people also be forced into such a system to make such a similar revelation?

I feel a constant pull in my heart. I want to do well and mean well by people, performing public service or doing some public good, but if it is all done for the average person who will not do much with their own life, should I waste that time I have been allotted in the service of those less talented? Is it only an attempt at vanity to prove my own worth through the achievement of others as opposed to achieving my own success? In that same regard, I want to be isolated, wishing to be separated from the objects through which give me stress and cause me torment. I want to disengage in life, but the voice of my potential ring loudly such that I can never bring myself to even considering seclusion viable. If time were infinite, I would iterate into skills and passions forever, in hopes of making sure there were no rock unturned to find my talent, but as time is a vapor, this breath I take must be used to its best ability. Maybe I just need to sleep on it.

I have started on the goal to what I have chosen to be my life's calling, it might even be its purpose.

its been 2 years now since then, yes slow growth
but also at times truly enjoyable like vidya before it became boring. it is challenging and frustrating at every turn.

But I have also learn that I love to torture myself. the masochistic kind. Why do I choose to resort to that nasty habit that leaves me low and with an empty feeling like a bottle that has its lifes contents poured out on the ground. needlessly wasted.

when I could be doing that which I love and bidding my time day after day with practice. I actually have that opportunity and I am such an ingrate that I see to it day after day that it is wasted.

Do I hate myself so much or is it just the result of 10 years of filth and 10 years practiced stroking my penis.

The window is closing fast. will be 26 in a few months.

I transcribed and typeset all my poems in single document. The handwritten originals are still precious to me, since they're in many ways a physical extension of my being, but it's also nice to have everything in once place.

>>11839318
>>11839318
Heal your immune system. You can´t think because your endocrinologic system is out. This includes your circadian system and vagus nerve without which you can´t think - because the mind has been cut off from feeling.

>>11839001
I have a reply to mine too. Understandably nervous.

Best of luck, anon.

>>11839141
Ask Poe.

this is so fucking stupid gimp can suck a fat fucking chode why can’t i just copy and paste a free selection i don’t know how to fucking move a shape it’s like this shit was made by SJWs who have to account for the 0.00001% of users who want to do i don’t know what the fuck since when can you not just copy and paste a cut-out what the fuck is this invert tool and why can’t i just click away to deselect it i prefer paint over this shit

My friends are avoiding me.

Everybody I make friends with always leave me for somebody better.

>people im with start discussing sex
>my silence isnt suspicious because im always quiet
ha, take that losers

>>11833624
Needing validation is a sign of weakness.

>>11839773
cute

>>11833679
if this is blake please contact me in whatever way you can my throwaway is zaloqs@gmail.com

>>11839773
Love it when the penis goes in the vagina

Vorrei abitare in una fortezza costruita interamente con pelo di figa

>>11839550

Windows XP Paint is a miracle.

>>11833538
If you want to know what to do to be part of pivotal movements or changes in literature, you need to think about the biggest trends right now and ride those waves. Or anticipate the next ones.

We are living through a period of extraordinary events and changes.

I would argue that the two biggest trends in literature are:

1. "social justice activism" and its pseudo-religious/mysticism-like behaviour - right down to minorities serving as sacrilising influences on otherwise worthless cultural works

2. Technology. In too many ways to fully explain or explore. The difference between digital technology and old print (books, newspapers, etc) technology is profound. Digital humanities, OuLiPo, and others explore the possibilities to an extent. I think though that no one has really grappled with tech and come out with more answers than questions, or any sort of new literature or new understanding. Personally I think the Internet itself is our new "sacred text" equivalent and that digital technology muddies things because it appears "new". We take it at face value and believe marketing nonsense, when we really don't understand tech or the internet in a literary or human way as much as perhaps we could.
"social justice activism" and its pseudo-religious/mysticism-like behaviour - right down to minorities serving as sacrilising influences on otherwise worthless cultural works

This is bang on and I wonder when this will end (and what the reaction to it will be).

>>11833538
>I wonder when this will end (and what the reaction to it will be)
Social justice is going from strength to strength while Daddy's popularity is on the wane, soon likely to result in his removal from office.

Trump was a dead end. The Social Justice movement will only end when the youth of the west grow tired of it, which may require a cataclysmic major world event or the rising of the Social Justice movement into major political power, effective ending their claim to being the underdog, under siege from establishment forces. Either way a paradigm shift is needed. Hopefully it will come soon
>Social justice is going from strength to strength while Daddy's popularity is on the wane, soon likely to result in his removal from office.
agreed. it may well be one of those things that, as you say, only goes from strength to strength so long as it can occupy the prime territory of being The Resistance. remove the opposition and things may change. but this process requires elections, and those elections are going to be absolute feud going forward.

>Trump was a dead end. The Social Justice movement will only end when the youth of the west grow tired of it, which may require a cataclysmic major world event or the rising of the Social Justice movement into major political power, effective ending their claim to being the underdog, under siege from establishment forces.
but...uh...you already said all of this...so...yeah.

>Either way a paradigm shift is needed. Hopefully it will come soon
please stand by for pic rel + the blockchain. if social credit works that may well be it. my body is not even remotely ready for the success of it over there or the appeal of it over here. or continuation of ideological trench war.

or virtually anything at all, for that matter. i'm already thinking a very small cabin in the middle of nowhere, a small turnip patch and a diet of monasticism straight out of the ninth century is the way to go. hear nothing, see nothing, pray for mankind, grow beets and keep the door locked. put in wifi and i'll be fine.

>>11833538
>but...uh...you already said all of this...so...yeah.
What are you going on about?

>please stand by for pic rel + the blockchain. if social credit works that may well be it.
Panopticon here we come. One could argue we're already there - the difference being that our social credit system is ran by corporations rather than the state.

>or virtually anything at all, for that matter. i'm already thinking a very small cabin in the middle of nowhere, a small turnip patch and a diet of monasticism straight out of the ninth century is the way to go. hear nothing, see nothing, pray for mankind, grow beets and keep the door locked. put in wifi and i'll be fine.
I think this is wise and if I wasn't such a narcissist, I'd probably do this myself. The complexity of the world has grown too large and I fear we're heading for disaster. It might be my anxiety talking and I'm sure many people have felt like this before throughout history but I just feel like we are on the edge of something deeply destructive. I feel like I'm standing on a balloon that is one puff away from popping.
>What are you going on about?
nothing, just realized that everything i was saying you had already said. sometimes i respond to things without actually reading them enough in detail, and it leads to silliness on my part. 'tis all. 'good post anon' would have been enough, so, good post anon.

>Panopticon here we come. One could argue we're already there - the difference being that our social credit system is ran by corporations rather than the state.
yup. but corporations become the state, and historically this is hardly a novel innovation. the italians and the germans both tried it out in the early 20C. and we all live our virtual lives today through Apple, Google, Amazon and Face-Twitter anyways, so, yeah. the upshot of this is that it turns the panopticon from being a smoothly-functioning fascoid paradise into the equivalent of a permanent Black Friday sale mixed in with the freeing of the oppressed from Blackgate Prison. the tower of babel, in other words.

>I think this is wise and if I wasn't such a narcissist, I'd probably do this myself. The complexity of the world has grown too large and I fear we're heading for disaster. It might be my anxiety talking and I'm sure many people have felt like this before throughout history but I just feel like we are on the edge of something deeply destructive. I feel like I'm standing on a balloon that is one puff away from popping.
you and me both anon. i'm looking forward to eventually finding my way towards a colony of underground bunkers set up by the future colonists of /lit/ to ride out the memepocalypse.

>>11833538
corporations become the state, and historically this is hardly a novel innovation. the italians and the germans both tried it out in the early 20C. and we all live our virtual lives today through Apple, Google, Amazon and Face-Twitter anyways, so, yeah. the upshot of this is that it turns the panopticon from being a smoothly-functioning fascoid paradise into the equivalent of a permanent Black Friday sale mixed in with the freeing of the oppressed from Blackgate Prison. the tower of babel, in other words.
The influence that has been given to these corporate states beggars belief. The Gettys and the Rockerfellers could never have dreamed of power such as this. And we give it to them willingly, cheerfully even. I have to laugh at times at the technological Utopians who hail the coming of automation and AI as the dawning of human creativity and freedom. "With this new invention, humanity will be free from toil and conflict." They said that about the internet, about the automobile, about the steam engine and probably about the goddamn plough. And time and time again technological innovation has been co-opted by the powerful who fashion it into a new and improved whip. Man's distance from the fruits of his labor gets ever wider as all the while he is placated by distracting material comforts until we become like Morlocks believing we are Eloi.

>it's hell to read somedays.
It feels like hell to do most things these days, beyond mindless browsing and jerking off. Inertia is all encompassing. I feel like an open nerve, just begging to be poked and fondled.
>Apologies for being an ass, this shithole brings out the worst in me.
we're just primed to living in a cynical world. part of the Great Wave of these times. no harm done. and besides, it's entirely worth it for the occasional effortposts and other insights you find here amidst all that. today's been a red-letter day already for /lit/ stuff, i've found.

in general i've found that it's best to treat this board with one eye on the camel and another on the mystery. in a couple of threads i've been in or scrolled through it's just looked like a wasteland of nonsense and then out of nowhere comes something really interesting or surprising that in no way could have been predicted. life is much like this also sometimes. and i wonder also how many super-interesting types are just browsing these boards all the time and saying nothing. it's like life in a fishbowl.

>>11833538
>The influence that has been given to these corporate states beggars belief. The Gettys and the Rockerfellers could never have dreamed of power such as this. And we give it to them willingly, cheerfully even. I have to laugh at times at the technological Utopians who hail the coming of automation and AI as the dawning of human creativity and freedom. "With this new invention, humanity will be free from toil and conflict." They said that about the internet, about the automobile, about the steam engine and probably about the goddamn plough. And time and time again technological innovation has been co-opted by the powerful who fashion it into a new and improved whip. Man's distance from the fruits of his labor gets ever wider as all the while he is placated by distracting material comforts until we become like Morlocks believing we are Eloi.
bloc-quoted for truth

>It feels like hell to do most things these days, beyond mindless browsing and jerking off. Inertia is all encompassing. I feel like an open nerve, just begging to be poked and fondled.
kek. me too, i know this feel very well. but sometimes it's good, if you're heading down, to accelerate the process. the sooner you hit the bottom the faster you'll come back up again.
>or, i suppose, enjoy living in the sandy banks and crevices of the deep-sea underworld, like a trilobyte or other form of procrustean life, a cluster of nerves and synapses blinking and blooping in the infinite darkness
>can do that too
>i'm more or less doing that now in fact

ah well. nothing lasts forever, even the good stuff. and if these are bleak times, then, soak in the bleakness. there's a time for everything.
>advice tho
>advice is the most boring fucking thing in the world
>don't you hate it when people give you advice
>have to laugh at times at the technological Utopians who hail the coming of automation and AI as the dawning of human creativity and freedom. "With this new invention, humanity will be free from toil and conflict."

i really am waiting for the equivalent of Difference and Repetition, the Phenomenology of Spirit or Being and Time to deal with this one thing: reciprocity, repetition and recursion, difference and automation, the line and the curve. philosophy and the computer and cybernetics, knowing what we know today. culture as self-programming software by way of capital, much much else. capital as aspiring to the *cleanliness* of electric power. the philosophical meaning of mimetic software, programming, and extended memory in objects. stiegler has done some of this and yuk hui will do more, but there's a lot on the table now to talk about, i think, about cybernetics and human social engineering and the rest.

>>11833538
so, a question about collective intelligence, perhaps: that intelligence is the degree to which mind partakes in superintelligence. we are all relatively stupid. but we can also work to participate in that which makes us relatively aware of our co-stupidity in the kingdom of the blind. we are both the prisoners trapped in the labyrinth and the labyrinth itself. stop with the chinese finger-puzzles hardwired into representation, and then cranked up to 11 in an age of militant irony, and maybe some new plot twists can happen.
unironic SoC sinofuturism

>aka chinese socialism with western characteristics
I never count out the Chinese. This social credit thing just seems like it has all sorts of ways to go wrong.
no doubt. but sometimes i wonder if it's not helpful for filtering out the background noise of the insano-left today by realizing that the DNA of contemporary postmodernity means one part sharia and one part social credit. it's like a cocktail of death with a piece of human shit floating in the top of it for a garnish.

it probably will go wrong-ish in china but the fact that it's here at all is enough to get the gears in your head turning. it will all depend on how they manage the economy over there, africa, trump and after trump and so on.

it really doesn't have to do with what OP asked about tho, so i'll save my grumbling about this for another thread.
Aren't we moving to a non-western era? Given the movement of peoples and the increased spread of Chinese businesses/people globally I would imagine we will see some sort of move toward eastern ways of thinking. So something that combines the fatalism of Islam with either the Daoist push towards minimalism/back to nature or a strict form of Confucianism.

>>11839582
you need worst friends

>>11838270
consistent

I'm a fraud.

>>11840776
Related to your question about collective intelligence. It's one that I have researched at length, both in formal academic bounds and independently.

I think several principles of collective intelligence, and conversely collective stupidity, are contained in the same mechanisms that can be described as thus.

Take a set of elements that you might call cognitive nodes. These can be people, computers in a network, ants, bees, even just neurons in a brain. The thing is that they have an information processor and are collected with a set of similar elements.

Each node has an unquantified number of relations to other nodes. From these graph edges and nodes you derive a matrix in the mathematical sense.

Each node in the matrix propagates signals to other nodes given certain conditions which are vastly detailed in extrapolation. Conversely, when a node receives a signal, it behaves lawfully given certain inputs.

When you have a simple network of three elements, there is a finite set of behaviors it can produce given various instruction sets. Each node constrains the others and is only as capable as its network.

When you extrapolate this to large networks with millions of nodes, the number of flexible behaviors is practically infinite. Hence the behavior we see in brains or society or even ants, which can do a profound number of seemingly intelligent collective behaviors.

>>11840957
Explain

>>11840990
Furthermore, synchronization is an important element of any swarm intelligence. It is important that the timing of each signal set from one functional group of nodes reaches the other. To do this we have to think of it in terms of resonances, hence why we talk about brain waves and so on.

When the resonance is out of sync, the system breaks down. We have collective stupidity, human error, network fragmentation, even mental illness like schizophrenia ( in which one segment of the brain is cut off from the rest and creates its own independent world that clashes with the real one).

>>11840992
I'm the platonic form of a type of fraud, insurance fraud to be specific

I just downloaded Shadow of Mordor, I like it. a good way to pass the time. I still think about a girl that won't have me but its ok... Just dealing with this shit is fine and I should be writing a lot more than I am right now
I also wish you all to have a good day
keep it simple and take the risk.

>>11841028
You could at least get a better game like XCOM

>>11833538
Nigga do Nigga see Nigga be

>>11835061
good luck anon

Not hard to lose weight, just so much easier to not do it.

Not hard to X, just so much easier not to do it.

('<_')

>>11840992
I was kind of a smartie when kid. High IQ and shit, avid reader, etc. Because of that my family and friends expect me to have great life plans. Reality is I don't have any. I don't know what I want to be in life, I can't keep a job and I spend most of the time watching porn. But I still act like everything is going as planned bc I don't want to disappoint them. I'm a fucking mess.

What does alien literature look or sound like? What do they write about? Do things besides humans have experience the human condition? Its trippy shit.

>>11840957
>reads DFW once

I've been living the pseudo-neet lifestyle (going to school and "working" but really not spending more than a few hours a day on either) and I don't know what to do with my life now that I'm supposed to be graduating and getting a real job. I miss when I didn't have to worry about this stuff.

>>11838227
This right here. As long as you keep fucking him, he'll probably be alright with whatever

>>11841001
Made my day anon

>>11841281
I doesn't really matter what you do, your quality will manifest itself through any work if you give it time, even though you feel like you are not born for it. Your work should be purely symbolic, otherwise you'll start searching for fulfillment in a place where you can't find it.

I wonder if this is an American thing or related to the west. The thought of following your dreams and the fulfilled life, or feeling depressed because of the lack of any.

I have to write a philosophy paper that's due in two days and im shitposting on /lit/

>>11836579
How long has it been? It took me a wee bit over 2 years to get over my ex who put me through a similar ringer. After hollowing out my soul with pointless casual sex I took the Temporary Celibacy Pill and that worked wonders. I became a contented, driven, and successful man by making that choice, I'd suggest the same for anyone in your position.

Always read what you find most interesting. I took a detour into philosophy (even though it had never been my thing) because i thought that I can't just keep reading books that mention Plato without ever reading him. It wasn't a terrible experience, but i feel so much better going back to reading politics. It's like i can breathe freely again.

Fucking hell man why does my office need to have so many women. I just want to cut a hot fucking fart.

>>11841691
It's definitely a western thing. In third world countries no one cares about doing fulfilling or meaningful work. What they wanna do is either become government bureaucrats or make as much money as possible doing whatever comes their way, all so they could provide for their children, whom they too wish to become either government bureaucrats or whatever makes money where they live.

I'm so ugly and fat. I probably wouldn't even be this ugly if I wasn't fat and inflamed from stress because my body is incapable of sleeping properly. Also I'm so grossly effeminate. I have like no chin and massive doe eyes. When I look in the mirror I just look like I'm begging to be putt out of my misery. Time to get off my soapbox and go lift.

>>11841853
>doesn't like to read philosophy
>gives terrible advice
sounds about right

Today in my computer science lecture, someone sitting a few rows ahead of me was emulating mario 2 (the western version). Since I already knew the material of the lecture, I watched his game for a bit. When he got to birdo, he seemed to be having trouble. Perhaps his timing was not good enough to jump on the eggs, I thought. Maybe he just wasn't reading the animation. But then he died, and opened another tab where he googled how to beat birdo. It was incredible to behold; he not only lacked the ability to understand something so obvious, but even lacked the will to figure it out for himself. Why even play the video game at that point? Of course, he had friends and I had a 1-seat radius of empty chairs, so maybe he knows something I don't.

>>11841910
diet > lifting though anon

>>11841943
Working shit out is a fucking pain in videogames, I spend all my time thinking anyway I don't want to be doing that shit in Mario as well

>>11835647
Stephen Fry's 'Ode Less Travelled'. Gives you the basic on how to read and write poetry.

I was reading on my own at 3 years old. My parents fostered my natural talent and I was reading highschool tier books like Siddhartha, catcher in the rye, etc when I was 8-9 years old. By the time I was 14 I was more well read than 90% of my teachers. And it wasn't just a checklist of classics I read, but I would occasionally obsess about a certain author and read their biographies, then I would read everything in the bibliography of the biography and so on. So for certain books/authors I had such a depth of knowledge that I would often "hog" class time "discussing" a book with a teacher. In reality I was the one giving a lecture. I would literally get 99% in my English classes. Did wonders for my average, and I would often write my classmates assignments for them as well for a fee. I did get caught, and nearly expelled once they discovered how "prolific" I was, but ultimately they couldn't stomach punishing me severely because they admired me.

I only started to dig into philosophy when I was 16-17. I majored in French literature in university. I'm only 22 but my interest in fiction has been seriously diminished to the point where I only read it to facilitate language acquisition, i.e. I only read foreign fiction (mostly French, working on German). In English I read mostly history, and biographies of people I consider exceptional.

Basically that's all to say I was /lit/ from a young age, and outgrew literature before most of you even started.

>>11841943
Are there many Computer Scientists on this board?

In a week's time I'm starting a PhD in which I'm going to try and optimise inefficiencies in Blockchain.
I mainly read sci-fi and am typically a /mu/tant, though I've been increasingly unsatisfied with music as a form of engaging with art which is why I'm here.

Is it too late for me to become "well read" and have good opinions on great works?
Did I just get this PhD because my supervisor is the most corrupt person I have ever met?
Will engaging with art actually bring me happiness or is it no more than a distraction from my real work in CS which I appear to be capable at?

>>11842129
how many times have you read fanged noumena anon
be honest with us

i am bad at victoria 2

>>11842172
What country are you playing as? And what mod?

I think we should have a script thread here every once in a while

>>11842158
I have never, but I have just pirated it to my Kindle and I will read it tonight and over the coming week

>>11842129
I'm not in CS; it's just one of the classes I have to take for my electrical engineering major. I've liked to read since I was a kid, but it would just be too retarded to major in humanities.

>>11842216
land is a wild dude and probably overrated by crypto types but he's got some good ideas that are expressed in a unique way. Just don't drink the kool-aid and turn into a technofascist, that shit is pretty corny
t. /mu/tant ex-CS major

>>11842259
If I do end up liking his writings in Fanged Noumena, what should I read after that?
I've got the Kindle plugged in, may as well add in bulk.

>>11842286
Honestly I haven't read his other work yet, nothing really became as much of a phenomenon as the collection as far as I can tell. I'm afraid some of his shit afterwards might have been written to capitalize on his ascension to cult fame and I don't want to read something that comes off as pandering to his fanbase

>>11842295
Not to turn this into one of those threads which is just a conversation between 2 posters but have you got any other recommended CS-core books?

I loved William Gibson, but haven't read anything by Neal Stephenson yet.

>>11842312
i'm a cyberpunk nerd, but the only Stephenson I'm really into is Cryptonomicon, which is basically CS required reading. Snow Crash is too cheesy for me, even if it's semi-satire. Bruce Sterling is one of the best in the genre, especially Islands in the Net which is far more (obviously) relevant today than when it was written. Frontera by Lewis Shiner is also a really solid novel, and John Shirley is the final boss of cyberpunk. After that, you can hit things like Rudy Rucker, Pat Cadigan, and Stand on Zanzibar.

I believe spending time of 4chan is worse than doing nothing at all.

>>11842002
All you have to do is jump on the eggs and grab it
I was able to figure it out when I was like 5 years old

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE

I GIVE UP

i used to be so healthy (physically at least, i was always an anxious depressed faggot, even as a kid) and it only took 1 year and a half for me to get destroyed by diseases. At the moment i have a disgusting IBS that makes me shit water all over the place, pain and bloating that makes me feel as if there is no rest for my body, i'm always at a discomfort with an enormous belly, as if i was eating 20 gallons of basedbean oil, despite being somewhat fit and hitting the gym. low testosterone and 'low' libido, makes me feel like a mid way between an eunuch and your average 25 years old virgin. i still long for a gf but when i see cute girls i feel absolutely nothing. my penis hurt when 'erect' and has shrink in size at least 2 inches. tinnitus that used to be a minor nuisance at worst, is now at full rage 24/7 and has fucked my sleep cycles. actually tinnitus is nothing compared to the restlessness. when going to bed my thoughts get 'louder' i and can't stop thinking and it keeps me off that 'trance' state that you normally get before going full asleep. biology is incredible, even after getting fucked physically in ways that i was never fucked before, i still feel that the biggest failure of my life is being a 24 years old virgin

>>11842530
I know, anon.
But if you are considering suicide, then why don't you first try to consider life half as seriously?

I'm upset that the girl I was cheating on my GF with ended up ghosting me because she knew I had a girlfriend and knew it wouldn't work out.

>>11842802
>But if you are considering suicide

No, I'm just going to become a hermit.

>>11842865
Carry on then

just made myself some tea lads. who else /comfy/ here

>>11843015
what kinda tea anon?

>>11843022
green tea, big leaf. having a croissant on the side.

There would be no difference between a deterministic world and a world with free will

>>11843042
>green
>not black

kys

>>11843042
i've tried green tea and it's not really my thing. croissants are nice though, do you put anything on it?

I used to be an atheist and not really worry about death.

When I started learning more, I became an agnostic. And now death terrifies me, the fact that it's unknown is awful.

My grandpa is close to death, and I worry what's on the other side.

I need to find out if a person standing on the back of a fighter jet flying at full speed could fire a carbine into the cockpit and kill the pilot.

>>11843325
I don't think so, anon.

I don't think I can truly live without beauty in some form or another. In my most idealistic and romantic moments, all I would need to feel the most intense pleasure is just a beautiful natural scene, or a transfixing painting done by a master, or a soaring musical piece. I could do without sex, substances, cheap thrills, entertainments. I needed only poetry and the stars in heaven.

And my god, was I strong. Was I invincible. I needn't spend a single dollar to feel fulfilled. But I was running on the high of youth, with the brutal realistic boundaries of adulthood far off in the abyssal distance.

>>11843310
Without trying to sound like a weaselly proselyte, you should give the Christian worldview a serious look. Aside from the philosophical reliability, it's been a real source of comfort in my life and has given me a healthy, reasoned perspective on death.

>>11843330
I didn't think so either. I feel like the bullets would get carried away in the wind. Maybe I should ask /k/ next time I'm over there.

>>11843049
>unironically preferring the dried up, stale, shitty version of the same drink from the same plant that old qing slaves used to laugh at bongs for drinking and being such dramatic fags about it

>>11842129
If you're starting from zero it'll take at least 20 years

I bought a Marcus Aurelius necklace as a reminder to stay calm and humble.
Anytime I feel like I'm about to lose my temper or become irritable, I rub it between my fingers and remember how he lived

I'm a fraud

>>11843073
It's an acquired tasted you pleb. Much like tobacco, black coffee, and tonic water. You won't like any of these the first time you try them but they grow on you. They offer something that is different from that sugar carb ditty that is your "thing", and vastly superior to it.

I'm getting ready for a long spring and summer of manual labour. Losing sight of what I want out of this.

Also, as an agnostic, I worry that whatevers out there is just gonna fuck me.

Like, this is all a cosmic practical joke and we're going to hell.

>>11843352
Nah, Marcus Aurelius is good inspiration. Don't be so hard on yourself anon.

>>11833564
lmao seems comfy

>>11843352
you're not a fraud anon, you're a human. Aurelius wasn't born a saint, nor was he infallible. You have to be willing to accept failure if you're ever going to grow beyond it.

I got hit on by asian students the other day

>>11843352
I wear jewelry to remind me of certain things too. It's fine.

>>11843356
>Much like tobacco, black coffee, and tonic water.
i've never liked these things no matter how much i've ingested them. maybe i'm just broken.

or maybe they're just not 'my cup of tea'.

>>11843352
If Marcus Aurelius was brought back to life today and had to see the state of modern society and live through it I doubt he'd have the same stoic attitudes he did back then desu. But I respect your resolve anon, at least you have more self awareness and determination than the vast majority of people.

>>11843345

>>11843345
There's not way to even stand up on the back of a jet as speeding anyway baka

>>11843381
Were they cute?

Finished the second draft of my novel last night. It's worse than the first. There is no way in hell this shit is publishable

Also, I still don't have the villain of my second novel figured out

>>11843390
How do you think he would change?

>>11843426
His clothes

>>11843418
Not my type, they were the squat, round faced brown asians. Cute in their own way. Thankfully I was able to resist them.
only remarkable because I haven't been approached by girls since I was 15

>>11843442

I can't stop myself seeing her in my dreams every week.
Is death the only possible release?

>>11843466
you could just stop being a needy faggot

>>11843388
You proved my point.

>>11843466
>the only possible release?

masturbation is a good release

>>11843403
So you're saying it would work?

>>11843412
It's a superhero with tactile telekinesis.

>>11843483
what was the point?

>>11835588
I got you buddy
http://www.joyceproject.com/index.php?chapter=telem&notes=1

>>11843504
Why is his arm sticking out of chest?

>>11843495
If there was no air resistance then theoretically you could stand on anything as long as your velocity matches the object. If earth suddenly stopped spinning for example, you'd be flung into space at like 6000 miles per hour or some shit. It's the same principle with a fighter jet. Virtually rifle bullets and many handgun bullets travel faster than the speed of sound. Rifles with longer barrels can easily shit out rounds 2-3-4X the speed of sound.

For a superhero story it should definitely work

job interviews and social anxiety do not mix

>>11840723
i downloaded paint.net and it’s so much better
can’t imagine the spergs who designed gimp

the thread is in autosage

any last words before we all die?

>>11843466
give it a few years buddy you’ll come out of it eventually

>>11837824
Get roasted

>>11833555
IKTF, King.

>>11833564
>tfw this is all we have without religion

>>11843568
That makes sense. I'm always laughing at myself for writing an absurd story with people who have superpowers while at the same time being super attentive to detail. I'm ridiculous. Anyway, I appreciate the insight.