/lit/ - Literature

>>11834963
Timestamp proof

>>11834963
Just move them again if you need space to write. Moving papers isn't a crime, and if she gets mad 'you never touched them'

>>11834976
Eh, Fuck it. This is just for fun, I'll move her papers.

I was thinking of writing a few lines about her "geniusly complex organization system" but I'm not sure how it could be better worded.

You should write your words as if they were pronounced in a southern accent. "Gurl, ah am AWfully sorruh foh the Pruhliminareh rearrangin' ah hayd ta take care of. Will you kahndly accept the sincerest apawlagies of your humble servant?"

>>11834984
No, she may be a cunt but shes apparently a superb English teacher. This shit gotta be lit like I'm writing a subtle letter to putin calling him a faggot and him not quite being able to prove it.

>>11834963
Just move the papers again lol

>>11834963
just film yourself rotating that single bit of paper with the notice on a few degrees and if she starts acting like a cunt release the footage, showing once and for all what a petty bitch she is.

>>11835031
Oh everyone knows shes a bitch. The letter is just for fun.

Am I in /lit/?

>>11835043
>"Without ambiguity is it ostensible that this correspondence appear lilliputianly excusatory."
you're trying too hard. like a 10th grader who discovered the saurus

>>11835088
It has like two double negatives though. Doesnt that make it difficult to decipher?

"This letter must look like it looks to have a small apology.

>>11835088
Also, what would you write instead?

>>11835119
nothing because i don't give a fuck about dre

>>11834963
No need to be as petty as this sad old woman, OP.

Oh I get it now. This board is for -pretending- to like reading and writing while you give /b/ level advice about books. I didnt know there were so many NPCs here.

>>11834963
I do not want to be rude, but she wants IT.

And not precisely a "letter"

>>11835259
How immature would you say a woman needs to be in order to use bitchiness and acting like a cunt as a way to demonstrate sexual interest?

>>11835283
This, the teacher is a mega cuntasaurus. Her dickable days were over 10 years before I was born.

head on over to /r/theredpill and ask the kind gentlemen there for some advice

Write her an apology, make her feel bad. Throw in something about your sick kids and how you're trying your best.

>>11835394
Did anyone even read the whole thing in OPs post?

>>11834963
Give her the J. Peterson book about cleaning your room

>>11834963
Organize all her shit and when she blows her shit say you didn’t notice that note in the mountain of opera on her desk

I ended up finishing it and printing, in an envelope sitting on her keyboard. Thoughts?

>>11835914

I can't believe someone like you is left in charge of our youth

>>11834963
Just leave her shit alone. WTF

Don't you have better things to do with your life than playing menopausal Machiavellian power games with sad spinster neurotics?

>>11835981
>>11835943
If a teacher is going to miss class, it is absolutely their responsibility to make sure the person watching the class has all of the tools they need to do their job.

If you had to temporarily do someone else's job and you got yelled at because you did what you needed to, would you be okay with that treatment? No. So stop being brainlets and enjoy some literary snarkiness.

>>11836018
>>11835088

>>11834963
lol imagine if one of the students goes on this board and sees your post

>>11835088
>>11836025
Yet neither one of you will contribute. What even is this board, dude? I thought this was the board all the writers hang out. Turns out its just /b/ for books.

>>11836100
The fuck do you want? You said you already printed out your autistic letter. How about get off 4chan and actually teach your class

>>11836100
yea man just because you're writing a letter doesn't mean anyone here will want to help you
imho youre doing some really unnecessary sperg shit

>>11836116
I'm not here to teach. I'm here to babysit.

I'm just mad because I forgot 4chan is 99% lazy incel shitposters who won't provide anything to a thread unless it's blacked or politically charged.

>>11836144
>when you forget you're retarded

>>11836144
I’ll write you a letter to her in a moment just need my first coffee. Give me more details about this bitch and the vibe you wanna convey with the letter

>>11836141
Yeah but I didnt ask for your opinion on what I was doing. I asked for a room to spitball opaque facetious writing methods. You cunts are on /lit/ focusing on the social aspect of the issue when you dont even know the political dynamic of the staff here. People do this shit all the time here. It's an English teacher joke.

I provides a good topic for all you Mary sues to show off your anowflake writing skills, but nobody will step up. I'd say that indicates youre all a bunch of literal whos larping as people with any talent in reading or writing.

>>11836161
She's old, on the larger side, thinks shes the second coming of Charles dickens, mad that all she has to absorb her "vast literary knowledge" is little shitnig kids who dint care. If you check >>11835914 you'll see what I was going for.

>>11836172
Substitute teaching is a job for single mothers. I hope they find out you browse pornographic websites during class and fire you

>>11836172
I'm a phoneposting faggot, dont mind the typos.

>>11835914
This is pretty not good anon

>>11836184
I meamt housewives not single mothers, whoops!

I hope for your sake this is an elaborate bait. I can just imagine you sweating and hyperventilating as you wait for a response, only for it to go completely ignored. Just move her shit you enormous fag

>>11836184
Great to do college work while making sure teenagers don't fuck each other. You ever been to college, ignorant fuck?

>>11836183
Do you want to charm her (she is in on the joke) or subtly piss her off (she is the butt of the joke)?

>>11836195
Look at all this broposting.

>>11836203
Both. Its a play off of a lot of these big elaborate emails she sends to the rest of faculty where she insults people in a complicated enough way that the math teachers just scratch their heads. Sort of like a "here, taste it yourself" kind of way.

Ahh, I remember bullying scrawny autistic subs like you in high school.
Thanks for the memories OP

>>11836220
I'm pretty fat desu, 240 at 5'11".

>>11836218
>he likes to think of himself as a fellow memeber of the faculty
You know they mock you behind your back right?

Any cute girls there?

>>11836239
Yeah, probably. I was friends with a lot of these teachers before subbing. Only betas really care about that shit anyways.

>>11836243
A lot.

>>11836239
This lol. Also the one you wrote is cringigly bad. And not just because I and others don’t understand your subtlety and literary brilliance. Real talk it’s clunkily executed. It doesn’t read like something written by some genius literati standing above the antlike plebeian masses scurrying on the ground below. Nor does it read like a charming but knowing jab at her for her regular pretentiousness. It just reads, as someone mentioned, like a try hard paper written by the self-diagnosed “smart” grade ten kid who just found a thesaurus.

Burn that letter and try again.

>>11834963
Write her a love letter.

>>11836266
Then maybe I'm not a good enough writer for this. Are you up to the task of helping? Or is it just negative opinion #28 because you disagree with the context?

>>11836263
Could you post a screenshot of one of her emails? It’s really hard to gauge how to give her a taste of her own medicine when all we know about her medicine is from vague, generalizing third hand descriptions

>>11836285
I am up to helping.
>>11836161
>>11836203
>>11836266
>>11836291
All these are me lol. I’m trying to get a good handle on how to approach it

>>11834963
Post a better pic with the full text of the note she left you

>>11836291
>>11836296
Sorry.

I don't personally get any of the emails. My GF teaches theatre here and they sometimes work on Shakespeare stuff together for the kids, she's the one who told me about the emails. The letter thing was even partly her idea.

Also this wasnt meant as me trying to write some sort of grandmaster above the plebian masses thing, it was meant as a letter designed to made her feel like an ass with a bunch of big words in a complicated sequence disguising what is said so I don't get in trouble. If this was anything more than a joke I would have just wrote "Fuck you" on her desk in sharpie and been done with it.

>>11836328
>bunch of big words in a complicated sequence disguising what is said so I don't get in trouble.
I can't believe you are left in charge of our youth

>>11836312

Let's imagine that she is as terrible as you describe, why would you write a letter to someone who already views you with disdain? Forgive me if I'm wrong but this act of desperation appears to be reminiscent of that one child in junior high who made fun of someone constantly and everyone hated - you being the child in this instance. Everyone already hates this woman, so you say, so why not bring this 'diabolical' scheme (in reality the letter you sent was simply awful in its execution) to the other faculty members?

A substitute mocking a good teacher could be a on one of those terrible jokes comedians say on the graveyard shift. Focus on you're elf. If you spent half as much time focusing on you than her and others, who knows, you may be a famous writer (although I doubt it from the writing you provided)

>>11836331
>our youth

You dont have youth. You're 16. You are the youth.

>>11836354
Please read
>>11836172
Before shitposting.

>>11836328
Have you ever met her in person?

I’ll get to work on writing you something in a minute here hold tight

>>11836347
Also: lol. Aside from the fact that she put the command in large text and could have articulated it as a request, nothing about this seems patently unreasonable. I’ll write you something nonetheless

>>11836365
The smartest thing you could do is to learn from this person buf you won't because you want the faculty to like you, how's it feel to be still stuck in your teenage years?

>>11836367
It's not unreasonable by itself. The shitstorm she blew last year because of this is.

>>11836378
I'd really love to play the "how can I better myself" game with you, but I honestly dont give a shit. Class is over in 30 minutes and ive really suddenly stopped caring about everyones little 2 cents on shit I do when I'm bored. It was an attempt at a writing exercise on a board that should only be attracting people who like that sort of thing, not your soapbox political commentary hour.

Dont care, dont need help, forget it. Let it die.

/thread

Here is your reply:

Before I made thy acquaintance, I must divulge that I was completely aghasted by the rumors, and from a woman no less, how awful! Yet upon reading the note that was graciously left to provide me with an insight into the student expectations, your learning style, and how I may learn from these to provide the best teaching experience, I realised the lack of information on these 3 subjects and I must admit I was disappointed. Nevertheless, I must thank you for leaving me in this position because it provided me with a fantastic learning opportunity. I noticed there were some documents on your desk strewn haphazardly, and to repay your generosity, I have attempted to provide a little structure here too.
I hope you're feeling fantastic on your return and well rested.


You say this because 1. It belittles her
2.you point out what she could have done, giving you moral high ground
3. Don't move anything but give the impression you did

HAVE YOU MET HER IN PERSON?! Tell me about her physical characteristics

This entire thread has to be elaborate b8. Any response by OP will confirm

>caring so much about a petty bitch's opinion that you even consider writing a response letter instead of just ignoring her
>caring so much you turn to outside help to assist you in writing your epic diss track
>being so retarded you put "4chan" and "help" in the same sentence
>being a high school substitute teacher

>>11836392
I’m nearly done I think you’ll like it

>>11835432
You meant to say mountain of paper but mountain of opera sounds nice.

Pic unrelated. I enjoyed it but its basically a pulpy romance novel, with a little historical context, pro-communist and anti-fascist

>>11836100
What a fuckin crybaby

>

>>11836770

>>11836778

>>11836787

>>11836796
Some spelling errors probably, there’s no spell check in this machine. Also wide berth not burth lol

>>11835914
this letter just makes you sound like a sarcastic asshole

>>11836796
Tides of time*

>>11836770
“I myself am.”*
>>11836787
“this we all know too well.”*

>>11836820
I think that was his point

>>11836828
Washed away by the tides of time*

Better than swallowed up

>>11836770
>>11836778
>>11836787
>>11836796
>>11836803
right, then he gets btfod by central office for sexual harassment and a dozen other things

do you faggots even know anything about office politics?

>>11836942
Wtf was sexual about that letter you mong. It’s sarcastic but nevertheless filled with explicit effusive praise

>>11836951
the calling her a goddess part is reason enough these days.

>>11836951
nobody even read the OP post, this thread is full of 17 year olds.

>>11836770
>>11836778
>>11836787
>>11836796
>>11836803
kek. some pretty good lines in here

>>11835394
he should just say he has a black wife therefore making him untouchable. "Dear teacher bitch, my sick kids and BLACK WIFE do not approve of ......." From then on out he has a free pass to write whatever

>>11834963
What happened with this OP

>>11836172
>I asked for a room to spitball opaque facetious writing methods
Not your personal army you fucking newfaggot. Go back to /b/.

>>11836196
seething

>>11836770
>>11836778
>>11836787
>>11836796
>>11836803
Basted and redbilled
>>11836942
stupid.
>>11837087
he adhered to it perfectly; write your own if your so assblasted.

never seen so many brainlets in one thread

>>11835914
If you're gonna try writing like a pretentious dickhead, at least study the form. There is a subtle art to top-tier world salad, and your writing falls flat imo. I would expect an english teacher to have plenty of experience with word-spam and vocab-flexing, but you disapoint me.
Your work is the literary equivalent of using google translate to write spanish poetry. You have to discover and embrace the nuances of your medium to write something truly accomplished. The dickhead style opens tons of doors for variation in structure and pacing, and you just barrelled onwards without even acknowledging them.
0/10, try again.

>>11836770
"hard-hearted hardness"
If this is intentional, lol