/lit/ - Literature

>>11757777
>humor
>on lit
No such thing.

>>11757777
I love that greentext, haven't seen it in ages

>>11757777

>>11757777
those digits do not lie

>>11757777

>Thomas Pynchon Presents: The REAL Unaboomer Manifesto

Hi, Thomas Pynchon here, also known as The Guy who wrote at least 3 really long books that aren’t worth reading. When I’m not walking around New York City with my shithead great grand nephew buying him the latest V-Box or whatever (back in my day, we had to wait four weeks for Trystero to deliver a Captain Racism doll and we’d have to use nothing but our imagination to have fun with it (That and of course the three variations of the n-word that would play when you squeezed his amputated legs (By the n-word I meant Nigger))).
Anyway, like you said, when I’m not wasting my fortune from my very successful writing career on my ungrateful family or smoking a Big Fat Joint in my bachelor pad, you like to reminisce on when I, Thomas Pynchon, became an anarcho primitivist for a week. It all started when you ran into this guy, Teddy Something, at the University of Michigan in the late 60s. you was trying to score some acid off of some of the cooler kids, when you quite literally ran into this Ted cat.
“My papers!”
“Let me help you with that”, you offered, noticing the complex equations and symbols scrawled across the sheets, “I really am sorry. you was looking for some cool kids to buy drugs off, but it's clear you are a math nerd and therefore not useful to me. Although, you am really trying to get some mathy stuff into my next novel, that would really have the critics going bananas...”
“I don’t have time for this. Please just hand me those papers.”
“Now hold on, what's this? These aren’t standard nerd equations.”
With my background as an engineer at the yoyo factory, you was able to tell that Teddy here was planning on building a bomb.
“You know, if you write me a couple of math jokes for my novel, I’m willing to forget everything you just saw here.”
“*sigh* How about send you them in the mail when you have some more time.”
“It’s a deal!”, you outstretched my hand and BZZT zapped him with a classic buzzer hidden in my palm. “Haha, got ya. This baby is the most powerful buzzer you can get!”
He walked grumpily away.
“What’s the matter, you don’t like new technology?” I shouted.

>>11757806
>>11757789
cringe

>>11757777
comical and edifying

>>11757794
This is the ideal /lit/ form. You may not like it, but that's how peak performance looks like.

>>11757811
I thought the second one >>11757806 was funny.

>>11757811
>what the fuck is ISTP even doing here?

>>11757794
How mentally stunted do you have to be to laugh at that

>>11757811
i fucking love this bless you

>>11758128
>the fucking arrangement of the god damn words even spells nigger
>the words are also nigger
it's absolutely patrician stuff

>>11757790
kek

>>11757777
>For everyone nostalgic for the Obama/Biden administration, HOPE NEVER DIES re-casts the president and vice-president as amateur sleuths in a quirky mystery-adventure. He s an honest man in a city of thieves. He has no patience for guff, foolishness, or malarkey. He is United States Vice President Joe Biden. And when his favorite railroad conductor dies in a suspicious accident leaving behind an ailing wife and a trail of clues Amtrak Joe unwittingly finds himself in the role of a private investigator. To crack the case (and uncover a drug-smuggling ring hiding in plain sight), he ll team up with the only man he s ever fully trusted the 44th president of the United States, Barack Obama. Together they ll plumb the darkest corners of Wilmington, Delaware, where enemies lurk around every corner. And if they re not careful, the blood on the tracks may be their own. This quirky, comic mystery begins six months after the 2016 presidential election, as Obama and Biden are struggling to define their post-White House identities and question what truly remains of their legendary bromance. Published as a trade paperback original and designed to echo tough-guy thrillers (think JACK REACHER, LETHAL WEAPON, TRUE DETECTIVE), HOPE NEVER DIES is essentially the first published work of Obama/Biden fanfiction and a terrific beach read for anyone distressed by the current state of affairs in Washington, DC.

>>11757839
Kek

>>11758209
Is this real? I assume you've just made that?

>>11757839
lmao what is this from

>>11757839
>Welcome to Tiny Train World, Winston

>>11758231
It's real, but meant as a satire of course. Look up Andrew Shaffer.

If I wanted humour I'd ask for your goodreads account

>>11758250

1984, the most relevant book to be written now. We're living in Tiny Train world.

>>11758381
i realize it's a reference to 1984, but where is that spoof from

>>11758386
It's a picture from a shitpost twitter that a UK newspaper accidentally used in an article:

https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/824388930975916032?lang=en

>>11757777
>I smoke too

>>11757790
Fantastic! I haven't seen this one before.

Does anyone have that comic wherein death reminds a guy of all the books he hasn't read yet?

>>11758392
thanks, hombre

>>11757820
Except for the fact that the plural of Rhinoceros is not Rhinoceri (which would make it second declension in Latin); the proper plural is either the English 'Rhinoceroses' or, looking to the third declension Greek 'Rhinocerotes'.

>>11758420
Rhinos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOk6HB609po

>>11758837
DAMN KANTBOT LOOKS LIKE THAT?!

>>11757777
nice quads of humor

>>11757777

>>11757781
The ultimate sign you are a pseud is if you cannot understand dry humor.
You have to go back.

>>11757811
>multiverse
Went from mediocre to cringe. I pity whoever made this as their little larpfest.

>>11757789
>if you kill yourself than you become god

Where did he say this?

>>11757794
>niggardly lives

Unironically funny. I laughed in real life.

>>11757811

That one with "the sensor swamp" was better.

>>11757806
>>11757789
anyone who uses the virgin/chad meme with the intention of saying x is better than y has no idea what the point of the meme is

>>11758837
>heggel

>>11759016
based

>>11759140
Same. Fucking piece of shit. I'd fucking pity him if he didn't fucking disgust me so much. Pathetic piece of garbage. Made me cringe too. Fucking idiot.

>>11760694
>(You)
>he screencapped his own post
I remember this post, and it was good, but this is embarrassing, anon.

>>11759016
Except Muslims were the ones doing that. They preserved Greek knowledge, expanded on it, and advanced science while Christian Europe was busy fighting wars and burning witches. Monks preserved uselss religious texts. The renaissance is called renaissance for a reason. Stop rewriting history in order to justify your flawed beliefs.

>>11760701
How dare you expose my vanity and insecurity!

>>11760789
is this a parody?

>>11760810
Imagine being this deluded and uneducated about basic history. Name one significant work that was preserved by monks. While Byzantian emperors outlawed "pagan books", Muslim writers and philosopher translated them. They developed the basics of mathematics they learned from the ancient Greeks.

>>11757789
Dostoevsky was the actual chad. People like his works more. He was more attractive.
I admit Tolstoy had a hint of chaddiness to him, though. But he was nowhere near Do's level.

>>11760839

>>11760842

Anyone have a link to the thread with the /lit/ figures with huge mouths?

>>11758128
How much of a tremendous faggot do you have to be to NOT laugh at it

>>11760842
land should've been porygon

Posting a classic

>>11761056
I thought /lit/ was a well behaved board...
guess not!

>>11760954
You have to go back.
>>11761528
Why does this read so... innocent?

>>11761056
man this one cracks me up

>>11757777
checked

>>11757781
t. reddit newfag

>>11761056
godamm that was funny as hell and also pretty fucked up, do you guys actually have piss bottles? I thought that was more of a /r9k/ thing

>>11760842
who's down to brigading her again, the channel's up again, should I start a thread?

>>11761584
Because I'm genuinely shocked! I thought /lit/ was a relatively wholesome board. But that interaction with that girl was /r9k/ levels of autism.

>>11761056
who's down to brigading her again, the channel's up again, should I start a thread?

>>11761056
and the sequel

>>11761666
what's her channel?

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE POST (mask of confusion)? I HAVENT SEEN IT IN AGES AND CANT FIND IT

>>11757794
fuck man. Since this is never gonna be published, I'd love to download a .pdf or .epub or something and take it with me; just so that I can be in public with it.

>>11758128
Diversity is our strength.

>>11757800
lmao

>>11760789
Except all of that was done by Eastern Christians on the Muslim payroll. Texts were translated from Greek, to Syriac, and then to Arabic.

>>11761689
I want to print myself a tshirt that says nothing but "I only play Pharaoh (1999)"

>>11762033
id buy it

>>11761666
>mfw i'm in there

>>11759788

its the superior Version tho

>>11761584
>you have to go back
Nigga pls, all those gruggs are made by lit

>>11758441
Rhinocerodes

>>11759176
Kirillov in Demons

>>11761684
imagine being this new

>>11762215
Upvoted and sent a gold :o)

>lit humor
all you had to do was ask

post the oats one

>>11760789
Damn, you have no clue about european history. The burning of witches did not (!) happen in medieval times, it was a rather modern phenomenon.

>>11757800
Love this

>>11757790
what’s "soma eppy"?

>>11762215
you underages perverted the meme format. all for your karma. it had an actual meaning and was funny once, when it was really about the lives of the slightly socially awkward failed normie and the completely unrealistic und superman chad, now its just a reddit way to say GOOD THING BAD THING

>>11762772
PLEASE BE BAIT
PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS BAIT

>>11762802
not a bait and i searched for it, but only /lit/ results come up. I guess it’s misspelled or some kind of meme?

>>11762772
Never have I uttered the word "pseud" unironically, but I will do it now!

>>11760825
This is a roach lie
>Byzantine philosophy refers to the distinctive philosophical ideas of the philosophers and scholars of the Byzantine Empire, especially between the 8th and 15th centuries. It was characterised by a Christian world-view, but one which could draw ideas directly from the Greek texts of Plato, Aristotle, and the Neoplatonists.

>>11757777
>girl says hi
>inst it abvious

this irks me.

>>11757800
never read pynchon, why "you" instead of "I"

is he a gimmicky writer

>>11762796
>le deconstruct ordinary things meme

>>11762807
fine, ill bite the blatantly obvious underage bait for the fun of it.
soma is the drug in brave new world which inhibits all kind of rational cognitive ability and makes you just feel good which all the NPCs take because mr big man says so and because everyone does it and because BNW is just a hedonistic society

>>11763154
He switches between pronouns to show that his characters are controlled by others. Paranoia and schizophrenia are pretty much the biggest styles/themes in GR and TCLo49. Idk about the other books.

>>11757800
>implying he isn't a luddite like ol' Teddy Something
https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/97/05/18/reviews/pynchon-luddite.html?utm_campaign=buffer&utm_content=bufferc9133&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com

>>11763170
well, it can be a source of humour. also deconstructivism is not the same as destructurism. you mean destructurism here. common mistake.

>>11759016
based and redpilled

>>11757811
>tfw INFP

How to stop being an over emotional crybaby /lit/?

>>11760789
>t. female college professor

>>11757794
I wasn't even halfway through the first sentence and I already lost it.

>>11763503
>female *rabbi College professor

>>11760954
can anyone help me caption them all? It'd be useful for a bot ill be making

the ones I got

Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Diogenes, Jesus, Luther, Shakespeare, Descartes, Rosseau, Voltaire, Hegel, Schoppenhauer, Kant, Kierkegaard, Marx, Stirner, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, Wittgenstein, Sartre, Kafka, Unibomber, Foccault, Wallace, Fisher(not sure), Zizek and Varg

>>11762498
edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
Have an upvote =)

>>11763693
The ones next to DFW are Moldbug and then Land I think.

>>11760842
>Anne Frank
>it isnt a picture of ass ketchup

>>11761666
Chekd. Can someone pleeease post video mirrors, mega, or archive links?

>>11757790
I get the meme but unironically if you let your baby use an ipad for entertainment you are objectively a shit parent

>>11757811
when will people stop using this shit, outdated attempt to discern personality types?
just admit it, this shit has NEVER found you a girlfriend

>>11757777
i am actually fucking dying at this post and i must have read it 5 times already before today. the timing is just so fucking good 'i have already written essays' lmao

>>11765478
the only genuinely funny thing in this thread

>>11765525
Is this real?

>>11763693
>Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Diogenes, Jesus, Luther, Shakespeare, Descartes, Rosseau, Voltaire, Hegel, Schoppenhauer, Kant, Kierkegaard, Marx, Stirner, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, Wittgenstein, Sartre, Kafka, Unibomber, Foccault, Wallace, Fisher(not sure), Zizek and Varg

I think the first few are Thales, Heraclitus, Democritus, and Pythagoras. Some others at random are: Aurelius, Aquinas, Spinoza, Newton (duh), Leibniz, Dante, Pynchon, Moldbug, Bloom, Land, Hemingway, Thoreau, Peterson, Joyce, Goethe, Russel, etc,

>>11765603
cuz you said please
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/aslfpsty10h43jb/AABQEqaBq6Go_ZYugzWnEujca?dl=0

>>11763693
I'm also seeing McKenna, Gass, Land, and Moldbug

>>11760850
this will always be the best one

>>11761689
and the conclusion

>>11765478
absolutely based

>>11766834
nice
but does he want to play cs now?

Anybody have the recent post about some guy having the word "nigger" pop up like, a million times in his fucking book? I saw a glimpse of it on kikebook but of course it refreshed at the worst possible time.

>>11767002
It's further up in the thread

>>11767008
I don't read (its 2018) so I had no interest looking through all the screenshots that I wouldn't understand.

Thanks!

>>11766752
is this thread also where you post your /lit/ cringe?

>>11765721
my mate bought his 2 year old an ipad for her birthday. he says it was so he could just leave her to her own devices watching cartoons on youtube for hours

>>11760810
>>11761986
>>11762692
>>11763503

Well they do have a point here
>>11760825
>Name one significant work that was preserved by monks.

>>11757790
10/10

>>11766834
Damn, two years between those posts. It feels good to see it end well

>>11767376
>man
>girl
>man
what?

>>11760789
>things that never happened, the post

>>11761666
Is there one for Serraphina? You fucking idiots went and completely ruined things while that whole /fitlit/ garbage was happening.

>>11766834
reads like a fanfic. a terrible followup and clearly not the same person.

>>11766914

He only plays Pharaoh (1999) and OctoDad (2010).

someone post the no discernible talent pasta, it's the only good one.

>>11767494
>>11760825

www.metanexus.net/medieval-monasticism-preserver-western-civilization/

One excerpt

>The Annals and Histories of Tacitus, The Golden Ass of Apuleius, The Dialogues of Seneca, Varro’s De Lingua Latina, Frontius De Aquis and thirty odd lines of Juvenal’s satire

Literally first Google result.

>>11767376

God, I hate that book.

>>11766752
I'm like this :( although for some reason its not true for books about philosophy.

why am i so retarded

im told its either adhd or schizoid. a vast reduction of d2 receptors that reduces the amount i take in due to the need for dopamine to be 'used' to fortify a memory.

>>11761666
jesus i laughed so loud at that final pic with IJ

>>11757777
Anyone have the Peterson and Rogan dialogues? I want to send it my friend.

>>11766834
He should move to the University of Leuven, Belgium. They still have the original Husserl manuscripts in their library when they got moved there out of fear Allied bombings might've destroyed them. I bet they think a Husserl dissertation is highly relevant.

>>11767635
But what qualifies being like this? Very few people are going to remember every book theyve read in great detail. Even here, what do I mean by great detail? Being able to speak entire paragraphs on call? What do they mean by just scraps?

>>11767730
Wittgenstein could recite entire passages of The Brothers Karamazov by heart.

>>11767732
>Very few people are going to remember every book the
> to remember every book
>every book

Anyone can remember many passages from one work and call them out verbatim, and it would probably be their favorite. Could he do this with many works?

>>11767730
I can't even remember books, games or films I am interested in. Let alone ones that I am not interested in but are important I remember for work or elsewhere. Thats what qualifies.

>>11767716
Helllllooooo!!!!!

>>11757806
>describing instead of highlighting ancedotes
1/10

>>11762918
That doesn't directly conflicted with what he said at all.

>>11763693
Pink hat is Hume.

>>11767730
>>11767745

There is no necessity to recall something beyond a feeling of pleasure if that's all the object was used for. Memory expands with willful repetition. I don't need to remember and form into language my interest in something when talking about it with someone else when I can just blankly read trivia about it on tvtropes or here and reformulate that into my own knowledge. Exteriors can do the thinking for us.

>>11767512
I’m crying so fucking hard

>>11767376
God I had a copy of the Canterbury Tales once that had so many useless notes just differentiating the speakers. I can understand if the person has some sort of attention disorder that makes it difficult to keep track of who's speaking, but I know people who are normally-functioning who get confused anyway. Absolutely cringe

>>11768353
hehe nice one

anyone got the one where the guy keeps tirelessly bringing up IJ in his classroom every possible situation to the point a classmate throws his copy out the window but he has another copy in his backpack?

>>11768145
>I can't even remember books, games or films I am interested in

Right, but specifically what does that mean? You cant remember the names of the books? That they were this or that genre?

>>11768336
>There is no necessity to recall something beyond a feeling of pleasure if that's all the object was used for.

This isnt answering anything I asked. I didnt say it was necessary to do anything, why are you talking about this?

>>11769571
>but he has another copy in his backpack?
I chuckled hard friend

>>11769712
if you don’t understand, there isn’t much else to say

>>11769996
Im pretty sure I understand but was hoping to be proven wrong. Youre not answering my questions and having only a semi-related conversation with yourself, but you think you also answered my questions.

I did not ask about any oughts about x. I wanted a better description to understand x.

Thats like me asking how do dams work and then you saying we should return to living as hunter-gatherer societies. Get a hold of yourself

>>11766834
>my fiancee left me for a proust scholar
my sides are in fucking orbit

>>11766834
Don't forget you're here forever

>>11768267
you can tell an upset leftoid made this

>>11766834
i didnt realize Husserlposter had a happy ending, that is nice

>>11766834
pretty sure that's fake though

>>11769571
>>11769732

>>11762772
Just in case you're someone seriously looking for an answer, "soma" is the drug used to keep people docile in Brave New World, and "eppy" is a diminutive form of "epsilon" (a caste designation in Brave New World). There should be a comma after "soma" because "eppy" is a vocative, not part of the same phrase. The whole thing is a reference to Brave New World.

>>11766834
fake and gay but I keked

Does someone have the one where the professor asks if anyone noticed anything missing when they read Infinite Jest, and the anon says discernible talent and they both start laughing?

>>11770944
okay, this is epic

>>11762366
Yeah, but it was pretty obvious that he was satirizing the idea, no? Like you were supposed to look at him and go "wow what a goof."

>>11770944
Did /lit/ hit its peak in 2015? Too bad I didn't discover it back then.

>>11765478
I never got what's so funny about pie in face, it's wasteful and not funny

>>11759788
GOOD THING
BAD THING

>>11770019
Not them but my memory is like what that original image describes. It's like five minutes after putting down a book and talking to someone about it you can't recall the protagonists name. Everything gets thrown out the window when you put the book down and immediately comes back when you start reading again like you have photographic memory.

a classic

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I think about this literally constantly.

>>11773027
I remember one guy used to spam this constantly like it was profound or something lol

>>11771789
Yes

>>11761689
This is the greatest series of posts in the history of the board. Eat your heart out katie

>>11761056
She's back btw

ore no diary

>>11762791
Yup, the meme was subtle and clever when it originated last year in May/June, but it quickly became dumbed down like all memes that aren't 4chan memes

>>11766834
>left me for a Proust scholar

>>11770944
kek thanks frend

>>11761689
>i only play pharaoh (1999)
why is this such a fantastic reply?
i can't really explain it.

>>11773812
It's the (1999) that does it

>>11762033
Fuck I forgot how great this game was

>>11766834
>>11761689
Reminder that this entire storyline is completely made up by Pessoa-chan who also wrote several other eccentric made up characters on this board.

>>11773915
That just makes it even better.

>>11757811
why is ENFP a selous scout

>>11770799
literally the plot of Little Miss Sunshine

>>11760694
>shamelessly leaves the (You) in
Honestly, I respect that.

>>11760694
>>11760804
there you go anon, you deserve it.

>>11758441
lol

>>11758837
Logo is such a cute twink, you just know Kantbot smashes that bussy on the reg,.

>>11760789
>Tfw you have no interest in literary history outside of edifying contemporary political opinion and can't even cherry pick correctly and just assume everyone else is even more ignorant than you are

>>11760954
>>11763693
My best guess at a first glance

>Thales
>Heraclitus
>Democritus
>Pythagoras
>Socrates
>Plato
>Aristotle
>Diogenes

>Jesus
>Marcus Aurelius
>Aquinas
>Dante
>Machiavelli

>Luther
>Bill
>Descartes
>Hobbes
>Spinoza
>Leibniz
>Newton

>Hume
>Voltaire

>Kant
>Hegel
>Rousseau
>Schopenhauer
>
>Kierkegaard

>Marx
>Stirner
>Thoreau
>Nietzsche
>Dostoyevsky
>Carlyle

>Russell (lmao)
>Wittgenstein
>Freud
>
>Joyce
>

>Heidegger
>Sartre
>Camus
>
>Kafka
>Le Corbusier
>
>Vonnegut
>Philip K. Dick
>

>Ted
>Foucault
>Bloom
>DFW
>Moldbug
>Land
>Zizek
>Varg
>