/lit/ - Literature

>Need help with your homework, sweetie?

>>11598429
can I see your penis

you have about 3 seconds to show me that hole

>when the food in your country is so shit people prefer to drink chemicals

>BASEDLET IS MADE OUT OF GURLIBOIS

WHY?! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO WITH THESE JEZEBELS? My one single wish is to be left to my own asexual devices, free from the thorned grip of perverse tempation, unclouded or swayed in my noble search for intellectual playthings of the mind, yet by your hand I am endlessly titillated by these vixens with their prodigious hips and provocative figures. Can I never satiate this thirst, will I ever know the touch of a woman and enter between her loins? Will these hands ever feel a woman's swaying weight in their open palms? Will I ever know a plump, ruby pair of lips perched betwixt my shoulder and my ear, whispering "I want you, I want you now" in that chocolatey croon I know so well from dreamtime? Will my seed ever drip from her moistened hole, indicating the completed unity of our unhinged sexual impulses?

Life is a constant hell. Day in and out these tired red eyes glaze in some attempt to shield me from these images. I am floating in the blistering heat of my id's vacuum, castrated and blinded by my wretched libido. No wonder I resent women so.

>>11598450
>contains 0% juice

>>11598461
You think that's impressive? Watch this!
>contains 0% anything

>>11598468
Contains no peanuts, just their flavor

>>11598468
>Literally just peanut flavored salt

>>11598455
>anon, there is no reason to be alarmed

>>11598474
all nonfiction is pleb tier.

>>11598429
Was she badly ps in the café?
Btw I would slap that hat off her head and call her a onions girl as I childishly run away and giggle like a kid.

>>11598429
>walk over, "hey, do you mind if I take a seat"
>sit down without waiting for a reponse
> "lord of the flies, I remember reading that it middle school, brings me way back"
>"you know you really shouldn't drink that onions crap, it messes up your hormones levels because of how chemicals in onions interact with your hormone receptors, it's awful that something that does that to your body is allowed to be sold. Did you ever stop and ask yourself who benefits from everyone being a hormonal basket-case? Who would ever want or desire such as thing?
>That's right you guessed it, the Jews! Like a malevolent snake they insert themselves into key positions of influence and begin to excrete poisionous bile into the bloodstream of their host culture. There is nothing more that they fear than a country of people united by both blood and purpose, working as one; that's why they do anything they can to weaken a people and turn them against each other. They are hoping that a bunch of feminized boy-men and mustachioed-butch lesbians will be too busy dealing with the complications of chronic hormone disfunction to realized that they are being enslaved by usury"
>"they're also the ones who put that awful notion into your head that you were going to be so cool and unique for getting a tattoo while in actuality you just signal your low-intelligence for everyone to see. You were perfect as you were, why ruin your skin with a tattoo. You should be trying to find a husband to have a wholesome marriage with and having multiple white kids, that's what we have to do to stop ZOG's plan of breeding us out."
>"it's a lot to take in at once but women don't think for themselves but just assimilate the political views of whoever fucks them every day and provides for them so in time you'll get all of it, anyways so would you like to grab dinner sometime?"

>>11598474
>The singularity is near
>Penguin classics

LOL

>>11598474
>Non-fiction
>neurobabble to boot
remove yourself from my presence WENCH

>>11598491
>Did you ever stop and ask yourself who benefits from everyone being a hormonal basket-case? Who would ever want or desire such as thing?
>That's right you guessed it, the Jews!

I wave to get her attention.
--Hey there.
I bite my bottom lip while unbuttoning a top portion of my shirt to reveal some chest hair.
--You want to go see the new Marvel movie, baby?
She says yes to me, then we go to a local courthouse to get married.
--Babe, I only married you out of romantic love. But that's not agape. As soon as you lose your beauty, then that love will too be lost.

I wave to get her attention.
--Hey there.
I bite my bottom lip while unbuttoning a top portion of my shirt to reveal some chest hair.
--You want to go see the new Marvel Cinematic Universe film, baby?
She says yes to me, then we go to a local courthouse to get married.
--Babe, I only married you out of romantic love. But that's not agape. As soon as you lose your beauty then that love will too be lost.

all memes aside, how would you legitimately approach a hipster qt you see reading at a café or on public transit?

>>11598429

Scope out her foot game post haste famalam

>>11598514
"hey, i see you are reading "x", how is it?/what do you make of it so far?"
blah blah
"have you read "Y", it's by the same author/it's similar to "X""
blah blah blah
"sorry I didn't get your name"
blah blah blah
"ok well i am W, what do you do/etc"
and now you have entered a conversation

There really is no need for strategy, just start a conversation.

>>11598514
I wouldn’t.

>introverb***Getting real af in this post OK***
>I came from somewhere where entrepreneurship is not encouraged. Not only that, but it isn’t presented as an option. *Let me start by saying that school isn’t bad. It’s just not for everyone*
>Where I grew up, you wake up in the morning as a teenager and go to a building filled with fluorescent lights and closed minds. I was told to sit down, stay still, keep quiet, and sentenced to four years of memorization and repetition.
>After high school, kids are presented the options of spending energy, time and money to learn to work for someone else, or begin working for someone else immediately and making less money.
>No one ever told me I could start a company. They told me I had ended my chances of success as soon as I dropped out of high school. But I didn’t drop out of a system which was gifting me with a future - I dropped out of a system which was programming my mind to find where I “belonged” and swiftly become a cog.
>But they were wrong. I created my own way. And you can do that too.
>So if you’re stuck in some place, with people giving you limited options for your future, RUN. GET OUT OF THERE. Whether mentally or physically, leave that environment and CREATE your own. You can be in charge of your own life. You can make the difference you dream of seeing. Lack of education or experience shouldn’t stop you either. Find your way and take it.
What an insufferable fucking cunt.
Yeah sure lolbertarian entrepreneurialism is the solution if you're born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a family to support your NYC Williamsburg artloft arthoe lifestyle as you go and win prizes on TLC for being your special self

>>11598525
this sounds scary
I'd be nervous and awkward
and worried about what she'd say

>>11598474
Bugwoman

>>11598491
based

>>11598538
>don't you just love my tattoo anon? its so unique and quirky!

>>11598514
Honestly I refuse to speak to anyone unless they adressed me first or if it the situation requires it

>>11598540
I'm not trying to be "chad", but in these scenarios you have to just keep firing at the enemy lines until a bullet finally finds it's home.

I had a friend who took this principle to the extreme, he would be speaking to one woman and catch another walking by and say sorry i have to go, and run after the other woman.

Also 90% of the time even if they have 0 interest they will be polite and that's that.

>>11598429
>>11598474
who?!?

>>11598429
>see tattoos
>try not to puke

>>11598540
Rejection is part of courtship. After a few you no longer care, it becomes a game.

>>11598557
why is 4chan so triggered by girls with tattoos?

>>11598564
We want those pure virgins from the villain's castle.

>>11598564
>4chan
Nearly every man finds girls with tattoos gross.

>>11598569
I don't see it being an issue outside of 4chan

>>11598564
I would be ashamed to hang out with a woman with tattoos

>>11598573
That's because IRL people tend to be polite. 4chan brings out their suppressed thoughts.

>>11598569
I find it very sensual. Especially sleeves and thigh tattoos. Having said that, I would not settle with a woman who had extensive tattoos.

The tattoos in the picture do not turn me of. One girl i was sleeping with had the Pink Floyd triangle on the lower edge of her ribcage on the right, that made me cringe.

Another had the sign of the deathly hallows on her ribcage, that made me laugh.

it really depends on the tattoo.

You guys don't hate it when people talk to you when you're trying to read? And most of the time those people bother me for no reason at all: they ask asinine questions like what the book I'm reading is about. How should I know? I haven't even finished it.

No I don't have tits.

>>11598590
yeah same here. and its always guys who comes up and talks to me, never girls. fuck that

>>11598590
>No I don't have tits.
so you're a chestlet with itty bitty bee stung A cups?

>>11598594
lolgay

>>11598429
she needs a little meat on her bones and to not have that tattoo

>>11598666
>not wanting a slimfu

>>11598549
'tism

>>11598450
> contains 0% juice

>>11598474
gross

>>11598468
> natural fresh roasted peanut flavor
> natural

is this why your people all travel by mobility scooter and voted an orangutan in for president?

>>11598474
she isn't reading all those books in one sitting lol

>>11598671
Nonody just starts to talk to a stranger for no apparent reason shitbrains

>>11598685
She has SUPERINTELLIGENCE, I don't doubt her capacity to finish those books in under 4 hours

>>11598590
I would love it if someone made conversation with me who wasn't an old lady at work

>>11598685
isn't she?

>>11598514
You don't, just stay asexual and single for life, that way nobody can take your purity and you don't have to pay no alimony no mo.

>>11598564
Tattoos are often tacky to look at, and you have to look at it a lot as they're permanent without laser surgery (Which honestly isn't always effective).

I wouldn't say it to anyone in public of course, people are very defensive about their tattoos. A girl I knew and liked had a lot of tattoos but as soon as she graduated university she got them all lasered off as they were all done when she was 16 and she grew to hate them quickly. Sometimes the laser surgery thing leaves marks or doesn't get every part of the tattoo off though. It would probably just serve as a reminder that people wasted their own money on having someone permanently scar them with their Deviant Art profiles.

>tattoos

>>11598590
I don't mind it if it's a quick polite chat like "oh how is it?" but if it becomes a whole thing then it kills my vibe.

>>11598514
you can't. They'd accuse you of a microagression and/or rape

>>11598670
thin is nice and all but there's looking after yourself thin and then there's not eating a thing thin

>>11598500

That's just plain old Penguin mate

>>11598429

Most likely I'd barely notice her and go and decide what food I wanted

>>11598547
What's your favorite piece by Poe? Recite it.

>>11598712
How many kilograms of makeup is this lass using?

>>11598429
It continually surprises me how few people seem to actually read classics (or at least in public). I rarely see people reading in public, whether it be on trains, in cafes etc in general but when I do it's almost never anything substantial.
No one ever seems to read books like One Hundred Years of Solitude, Lolita, Don Quixote etc which have all sold tens of millions of copies, instead all vying for crime novels or self help/psychological books. I don't consider LOTF to be especially prestigious at all, but even seeing someone reading that or a text of a similar status might only occur once a year.
Is this just me?

>>11598429
>most active thread on /lit/erature

>>11598474
>the intj stare

>>11598514
I would steal glances at her until she or I left the establishment/got off the train, then feel sad for the next week or so before moving on.

>>11598455
here anon this will protect you
https://youtu.be/iCth4VrV1pI

>>11598590
I have never been talked to while reading in public. People stare at me a little but never actually ask me anything.

>>11598836
>not wanting a hipsterfu

>>11598429
if that was a cafe she wouldn't be allowed to bring her own drink

o-oh god, are there onions cafes?

>>11598821
>reading Lolita in public
that sounds like a recipe for disaster

Why do you all keep talking about onions?
http://blog.onions.com/post/51243920779/whats-in-onions
>ctrl+f onions
>no result

Creep towards table with ladder under my arm.
Set up ladder.
Climb to top.
Take out my phone and open music player.
Open 'Wrestling' folder.
Press play on 'Hardy Boyz Theme'.
Stand atop ladder.
Strike a pose and scream.
Swanton Bomb from ladder.
Smash through her table.

Wait for her panties to drop....

>>11598895
I'm not into getting cucked

>>11598895
who is this man and which band does he play bass in

>>11598468
>ingredients contain vegetable fiber
>fiber: 0g

>>11598491

>>11598474
>surely reading pop-sci literature will make me into a scientist!

She is unironically cute and prob gives good head.

>>11598821
I have a hard time focusing on literature with a lot of ambient noise and distractions around me so when I do read in public waiting for my car at the mechanic or whatever I'll just bring simple books where I don't need to read with an active mind.

>>11598491
Really good job anon

>>11598429
>>>/v/427248801

>>11598697
That old lady probably loves having conversations with you, heartless bitchfag

What’s wrong with onions? Thought they boost your testosterone levels and make you healthier

>>11599262
onions
if this says “onions” the word filter is still up

>>11598429
Imagine you're at a cafe, relaxing, drinking some coffee or onions or what have you, reading The Phenomenology of Spirit for the third time or perhaps R.L. Stine's Goosebumps: Stay Out of the Basement and some ugly nerdy pasty acne ridden skinny or fat hunchback girl walks up to you witht he intent of talking to you.

>>11599265
Is it onions

>>11598491
sorry, what's this about onions?

>>11598712
Must've been born before color was invented.

>>11598429
>stupid looking cap with advertisement on it
>sleeveless shirt
>tattoos
Good for a fuck and nothing else. She'll OD before 40.

>>11599298
Onions produces estrogen and prevents testosterone production

>>11598564
People with tattoos are legitimately mentally ill. They're subhumans only whose only worth is in their biofuel potential content.

>>11598455
The funny thing is Jezebelposting, especially explicit Jezebels, is actually against the rules on blue boards.

Good luck ever getting the fuckhead mods to enforce this, though.

>>11598491

>>11598491
yikes

>>11598429
i want to sex it

>>11599298
Hello newfriend

>>11598474
the progressivist pop-sci books are being shilled a lot
its because they want to make people believe in the progressivist's ideas and embrace them


fuck the technological society

>>11598683
>is this why your people all travel by mobility scooter and voted an orangutan in for president?
whoa I love communism now!

my rape drive normally kicks in.

>>11598491
>there are people that unironically believe this

>>11598429
>Onions
No thanks

>>11599231
Lol this is coming from a person that plays videogames

>>11598564
It's a sign of either superficiality or insecurity. Either way, it's incredibly vain

>>11598564
Because tattoos need to be earned.

>>11598429
Sit nearby but not too close and do my own thing for like 10 minutes. If she's still there ask her how the book is.

>>11598448

Nice one, Punchy.

>>11598574

I would be ashamed to hang out with a woman.

>>11598429
>basedlemt
no ty

>>11598491
>women don't think for themselves but just assimilate the political views of whoever fucks them every day and provides for them so in time you'll get all of it
There are anons who really think

>>11598491
>>"it's a lot to take in at once but women don't think for themselves but just assimilate the political views of whoever fucks them every day and provides for them so in time you'll get all of it

Jew memes aside, this IS true.

>>11599783
I would be ashamed to hang out with you

>>11599815
prove him wrong

>pro-tip: you cant

>>11599815
It's literally true and you'd know it if you ever had a woman.

>>11598429
Sit down in front of her, mumble that she's a pseudointellectual pleb, and pull out my copy of Ulysses and start reading

>>11598514
If you're hot, how you approach her is irrelevant. If you're not hot, how you approach her is also irrelevant.

>21 year old khv
Should I just kill myself?

>>11598429
Keep walking?

>>11599983
only if you kill me first

>>11598474
>Conspicuous reading
:)

>>11598474
Pseud and poser.

>>11599983
If you want to go for it, we got an overpopulation problem. That said if you stopped being a self-pitying melodramatic faggot you could easily improve things with a little effort.

>>11600080
Woah..you must be some kind of genius for being able to recognize this.

>>11600089
>Don’t be no misery goat!

>>11598564
Tattoos are a sign of poverty or crime

>>11598429
>>11598514
wow the HRT really does work

>>11598429
I'd do nothing, they're reading and I'm not going to bother them.

>>11599815
Is fucking true, you virgin fuck

>>11599231
>>>/v/427250919

>>11598429
rape

>>11599298
saying onions wordfilters to onions

>>11601032
saying s////////////0////////////y*

>>11598756
Nice.

>>11598474
How do I get a pseud gf fellas

>>11598461
It contains sugar, water, and purple.

>>11598564
They don't look good at all. Some guys can pull it off but never a woman. They do serve a purpose by marking out the dumbest and nastiest personalities in the world. Nothing screams "single mother" louder than a butterfly on the ankle.

Seriously though, what does sõy do to women?
We all know what it does to men, but what about the women?

>>11598756
>Who is that rap a tapping at my door hahahh :3

>>11598895
I'm pretty sure this is a boy (male).

>>11598455
>stay strong

>>11598483
Just because the only nonfiction you read is pop- science and historical trash doesn't mean the everybody is a retard

>>11598564
I love it desu

>>11601229
onions does not substantially affect women's or men's hormones

dairy has much stronger estrogenizing effects

>>11598732
t. non chad

>>11599533
Nobody said anything about communism you retarded /pol/lack.

>>11598564
Nine out of ten times a woman with a large number of tattoos also has taken a lot of dick and habitually uses drugs. Tattoos are a sign that a person has a propensity for high-risk behavior, which is usually a bad trait in women. Science queers might chime in saying that correlation doesn't equal causation, but that doesn't speak to the presence of a trend. Risk-aversion is a psychological trait, and is documented adequately enough that you can reliably claim that women with a propensity for risk-taking behavior will express it in the ways I just mentioned.

Basically, 4chan autists dislike women with tattoos because they overwhelmingly have a tendency to make poor choices, and therefore make for poor mothers. They (tend) to be the sort of people who fuck up their kids and families, and are both sociologically and economically a cost to society writ-large.