/lit/ - Literature

>>11431096
haha, imagine being forced to lick their assholes wouldn't that just be crazy ahaha

haha imagine being the pink haired one but you're actually a man that was forced to dress as a girl and the other girl is patting your head because you're her pet hahah that would be fucking awful wtf haha

>>11431133
this sounds unhealthy
>>11431149
this too but in a mental health kind of way

she cute

>>11431096
If your "crush" looks anything at all like those two tranny sluts then God help you my friend

I imagined marrying her but I didn't even say Hi. Why did I have one-itis when I'm already with someone who is just as beautiful? Does it ever end? I wish I could live a thousand lives and love them all.

>>11431158
please god, help me smash these fat tit bitches, amen

>>11431153
hah this i don't get why anyone would want to lick their assholes sounds fucking gross hahahah lmao

>>11431096
Is this about eating box? Cuz that's disgusting and the fast track to women disrespecting you. Nothing signals more powerfully to a woman's primal instincts that a male is unfit for reproduction than him risking the health of his face and mouth to lap upon her beef. It's a huge thrill for her, sure, but not because of any clitoral stimulation. Her "ohs" and "ahs" are entirely derived by amazement at the male's silly self sacrifice. Completely deluded, the box eater will munch away confident that he is a supreme lover, when the woman is secretly aghast at the implications of where he's putting his tongue. She's had that part of herself bored and excavated by many colors of cunt conquerors until she lost count. So many suitors have emptied themselves inside that box, smacking victoriously her vulvar filets with their slick protuberant phalluses afterwards. And here is her blessed self-avowed "pussy eater," breaking a sweat trying to lick that same battered clam meat. He even thinks those the prickly sensations in his mouth are from his muscular exertion, but the box eater has just ingested the top STDs of all 37 countries visited by that writhing, smiling woman, and those itching sensations in his throat are microscopically shown to be the conquest of his nerve tissue by her minge's army of misandrist microbes. Destroying his cells outright, the box's pox overwrites the beta's genome, rendering him more reproductive for the Papilloma species than his own. Don't be a goof and lick cloven meat.

>>11431200
It is about describing the girl you think is cute IRL, what the fuck are you on about.

man I wanna lay down and have them lecture me on male privilege for a while

>>11431200
Cool

>>11431096
> in in

>>11431096
these two are inevitably gross, slutty feminists. please keep THOTS off my fucking literature board

>>11431207
I'm not the guy who posted the pussy eating pasta thing but it always baffles me when people reply to a paragraph-length bit with "Wtf bro u write all that? haha" or "What are you talking about???"

I mean.. regardless of whether or not you think the pasta is shit, it's very clear what he's "on about," i.e., he's doing a bit. It's a bit. No matter how much you think it sucks, there are a pretty standard and finite set of motivations for doing that.

It's like seeing a comedian or a singer up on a stage and going BRO WTF U TALKING ABOUT? BAKA.. He's being a comedian, or a singer.. Even if he totally sucks, that's still what he's doing, it is a recognizable behavior with a small range of easily recognizable attributes obvious to everybody. You can reply contextually by saying "your jokes suck" or "your lyrics suck," meaning, you understand he is a comedian or a singer. But you can't just wander around gormlessly and respond to his jokes seriously as if they aren't formally given as jokes, or reply to lyrics with actual responses to the statements contained in them. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE RESPOND TO PASTAS OR TO LONG BIT-LIKE EFFORTPOSTS WITH SERIOUS RESPONSES. SOMETIMES I SEE PEOPLE GO "I KNOW THIS IS PASTA, BUT..." OR EVEN SUBTLY IMPLY THAT THEY KNOW IT'S PASTA, AND THEN GIVE A RESPONSE TO THE CONTENT, AND THAT'S TOTALLY FINE, THAT'S LIKE SAYING "I KNOW THIS IS A COMEDY ACT AND ALL BUT THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY WRONG ABOUT HOW LOAVES OF BREAD ARE ADVERTISED AND SOLD SO THE JOKE KIND OF FALLS APART," BUT YOU SEE HOW IT SHOWS THAT THE PERSON ACTUALLY STILL UNDERSTANDS THAT IT'S A JOKE AND THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED? YOU CAN'T JUST REPLY "BRO... WHY U HOLDIN THAT MICROPHONE BRO :S WHAT U ON ABOUT? BREAD? WHY U TALKIN ABOUT BREAD?" THE REASON IS IMPLICIT IN THE FORM AND STRUCTURE OF THE CONTENT

>>11431240
>not wanting to exorcise the demon of modernity from them with your dick
fag

>>11431255
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>>11431256
only way to help them is to be attractive to them but reject them for being what they are.

>>11431270
women only learn through cock, so this is bound to fail.

>>11431096
>liking 3d women
>being this much of a pleb

Absolutely disgusting, unironically.

>>11431276
no they don't u fucking virgin

>>11431255
>>11431266
Cool

>>11431282
If you had actually had sex with a woman you would have noticed that she takes on some of your personality traits for a short period of time afterward. That is the effect of cock on women in action and their primary method of identity formation.

>>11431298
Go home Jordan

She had thick thighs and a fat ass. It's so superficial but I wouldn't mind spending my life with her thighs and ass, and do my best for her.

Also
>>11431175
Amen.

>>11431175
>those tits
>fat

They look flat as a pancake

>>11431312
t. butthurt woman convinced she is sentient

>>11431298
lol ur dumb, but thanks for the lulz

>>11431333
Cause she is braless and wearing a top that is 2 sizes too small pressing them down.

>>11431338
woops this was menat for >>11431323

>>11431333
Yeah I’m a woman with a penis apparently. Grow the fuck up and realize everything doesn’t revolve around sex. Maybe come back when you’re legally allowed to use this site, it’s 18+ you know.

>>11431356
Someone's on the rag today, jesus. Relax.

She's my psychologist.

>>11431153
>this sounds unhealthy

It the key to a healthy immune system though.

>>11431363
>I can’t refute that I’m an incel

C R I N G E C O M P I L A T I O N

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>>11431379
There is noting to refute. We get it, your are gender confused and old, not a great combination but you are trying and that is all we can really expect of anyone.

C R I N G E C O M P I L A T I O N

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penis

>>11431394

>>11431096
My crush... she is pale and thin, and short. She wears glasses sometimes and she is very feminine in her mannerisms (in a cute way though). Whenever I enter a room, without even trying to look her up, she is the first person I see. I daydream about her. And when I’m falling asleep, and I start feeling warm and cozy, and heavy, I think of her, waiting she appears in my dreams.

>tfw no jl gf

>>11431379
theres that reddit word again

Great personality, awful character

>>11431096
She has a rather ugly face, but she also has a beautiful womanly figure (think Birth of Venus, sans the face) and a demure aspect. She is polite, self-reliant, intelligent, presents herself modestly (she always wears dresses, I love dresses on women), and she might be virginal. The same flaw that has dissuaded adolescent pursuers-to-be and maintained her innocence makes me hesitate: her ugliness. From her social cues I'm nearly positive that she is interested in me. I'm at a point in my life that all I really want is genuine human connection and someone who I can love, but is it even possible to love somebody you find ugly? And even if It is possible will it transmogrify into resentment in time? Hope you enjoyed my blog post.

She is much older than I am. She has beautiful dark brown hair that she ties back behind her ears. She always dresses well and puts effort into her appearance. She is a great listener and she appreciates literature. Her cute, shy smile is what makes life worth living. If only she wasn't married.

>>11431200
this was genuinely an enjoyable post

>>11431200
Talented, for real

>>11431459
You have fine taste.

i have no crush

>>11431096
She's got a big bum and she likes it when I put my fingers in her mouth while we're shagging

>>11431096
Who is the one on the right? Vaguely think I may have gone to school with her.

>>11431255
Wtf bro u write all that? What are you talking about???

>>11431200
Good post

She has a ruthless, honest pragmatism. A mystical love for the real; for small, dumb things, for their confusion and innocence, but she also seeks their opposite. Her eyes flicker, so does she, unsteadily, proud, a woman, a real woman, not a caricature, not a pathetic attempt at one, a woman

I met her when I was really drunk and we started talking doing what you guys call "banter". She is short, calls herself a feminist, openly admitis she doesnt love her boyfried, changes the color of her hair often, smokes, its loud and outgoing, but seems to be little depressed lately. She isn't really that good looking, probably a 6/10 by normal standards, but still makes my heart melt and hurt. She is the total opposite of what I wish a person who makes me feel this way was.
At first I thought she was a complete vapid cunt.
People have told me we look like soul mates, and its making me doubt my own judgement way too much.
Now we don't really do banter anymore, it just doesn't happen, and now I don't know how to talk with her. We always look at each other with the corner of our eyes with and smirk on our mouths. She has deep black eyes.
Her taste in music is trash.

>>11431096
Hoes need to get back on the strip pole

>>11431893
I've always dreamed of having a passionate love affair with a feminist woman that partly resents me.

>>11431096

>>11431960
I really doubt she resents me, and if she does, its probably because of the difference in our economic realities, not because of me being a male.
She is not really the brainwashed feminist type, she is dissapointed with the whole movement. I hope she doesnt stop being one because she would probably fall into a nihilistic-meta-physical depression as happens to most people who believe in some sort political solution when they just can't keep on caring. I don't want her to end up in the level of bitterness of the typical 4chan poster (incel).

Everything she does, is the most beautiful version of that thing being done. Her walk, her speech, the way she works; every action exists so that she can perfect it. The way she ignores me, the way she glances away when our eyes meet, the way she's afraid of what she felt for me; all in the mode of perfection. She is, for me, as Eliot said: the still point of the turning world. And she will never love me, and I will never love anyone else, and the rest is silence.

>>11431893
She sounds like every other vapid Tumblr slut with Daddy issues

>>11432193
You are probably right

>>11431200
thomas pynchon?

>tfw haven't had a crush since high school
There's a lot of pretty women I'm around , I think one of them likes me but that's it.

My thought has drifted away from friends, family, and relationshios to war since the winter. Probably not going back to university because I see nothing but violence in the future

Shortish blonde hair, sky blue eyes and pale skin. Her paleness creates an fine contrast with the black dresses she always likes to wear. They way her body itself looks is like an artists magnum opus, the body has just enough fat everywhere, enough to grab and to hold onto. And despite that lewd body, her chest is mostly flat, not cutting board flat mind you, but deliciously flat, just right. This one time you smiled at me after finishing your meal is something I will never forget.

I wish you didn´t marry that guy.

>>11431255
kek

>>11432242
You think the Pinecone would ever speak out against box banquets? Time to hit the books, anon.

>>11431255
This is actually a pretty good and reasonable post, it deeply infuriates me that people won't even be able to articulate their own confusion.

>>11431096
mommy gf wit biggie milky and penis my god i fucking need this i want this in my life so fucking bad i would kill for it i can imagine the feeling of her thrusting inside me as i sucky milky

>>11431096
I like your description. Do you write smut?

She is short and has just enough weight to not be too skinny nor too fat. Caressing her hazel, fuzzy hair is like embracing heaven itself. Her amber eyes are an infinite pit of bliss that demands my attention. Her curves are of Venus itself, not exaggerated nor lacking. And her face is the most gentle expression of love nature has ever coonceived.

I'll date anyone who is a 5 or above, ihad a girl whom I was sexually and emotionally invested in, she didn't want to show her inner mask for me, she pushed me away and I never saw her again. Never have I loved another like so

FAT PUSY

Her face is alright but I hated it when I first met her. Her body is fine and the way she stretched out on my hotel bed to anger her boyfriend titillated me. She's taken care of me when I got drunk on red wine; she laughs at my jokes and finds me more interesting than her live-in lover. The thing is, I only love her in the case that she loves me, and that fact that she refuses to break her 9 year promise probably saves me a lot of headache and her a lot of heartache.

met you in a psych ward ... we seemed to get along but i didnt have any social media so nothing came of it ... hope i run into you soon

>>11431096
>tfw no crush

goddam it feels good lads. i used to work at a job with a qt who i got along with very well, but she had a boyfriend and every day was suffering. i remember thinking "it would be better just to not know her"

now i work in a different state with unattractive people and it honestly feels so good. it's like i'm free. i hope you guys can experience this freedom some day too

>>11431133
Rabbi McScat Fetish strikes again.

>>11431367
underrated

He's smart- the kind of smart you can talk about aliens and 9/11 conspiracies with but also philosophy and computer science. He's not afraid to be pretty which is such an admirable kind of courage. He loves dogs like I love cats and you'd think that'd be a bad thing buts it's such a great thing. He works with them at a kennel place. Kindness to animals is one of the greatest things humans can do, I know that seems obvious to some and even naively cute to others but it's true. And in truth, I don't even really know him, but I hope he'll me give the chance.

Girlish...she wears bold, "interesting" shoes but all her other clothing choices look like they were made when she was 14 and they've never changed, light colors and simple shapes with no attempt at mystery. She is about the stature of a child as well and her eyes are large, masking her in a neotenous halo. Her voice wavers constantly, deeper and then lighter, sounding nervousness or fear, but fear is not to be found in her actions or words...certainly not in the slight mischievous smile that comes out whenever her face settles, or whenever she thinks no one is looking. Her hair is short but loose, a perfect compromise between not sticking out and not having to spend too much time on it. She moves energetically, like a dancer, with a sureness that body will follow mind precisely. What lingers in my mind are the small motions, the thrust of a hip, the crossing of a leg, the swift skitter across a room. There's a general sense of incongruity, of things not matching, one trait slapped together with the next as though she were quilted from several girls at once into an innocent chimera, the stitches hidden by favorable placement. Nobody had a good idea for who this person was going to be, she just picked up toys as she went. "Good enough," she might've said as she went on her way, dragging her toy chest behind her, a primitive with a smile, a Diogenes who lives in the forum, and that no one has the heart to kick out.

Wow was it a bad idea to write this my oneitis-ism is skyrocketing.

>>11431574

So does someone else apparently.

>>11431096
it almost seemes from this sphoto that they are implying that they would like to participate in sexual intercouser with an mate whom they deem worthy as a potential father of their offspring as thier partner. am i getting this right? i'm not too great with grils.

>>11431298
Is this real? Please tell me it is. Holy fuck it would be so funny if it was.

>>11431298
only virgins will refute this post

>>11433600
are u a grill (female)?

>>11431200
Quality.

>>11431200

>>11431200
based

>>11431255
based

In all my years I have never felt love for another human.

>>11431096
>5. All boards that default to the Yotsuba B or Burichan (blue) themes are to be considered "work safe." Violators may be temporarily banned and their posts removed. Note: Spoilered pornography or other "not safe for work" content is NOT allowed on the work safe boards.

>>11431255
Agreed. This hyperbolic behavior is only for the ebin screencaps at r/4chan.

>>11434897
What the hell is r/4chan?

>>11431200
Who hurt you, anon?

>>11431096

De ses cheveux bruns frisottés, deux yeux d'ébènes se joignent aux miens. Nous partagions un moment d'innocence enfantin, que nulle part je ne peux de nouveau entrevoir.
De ses défauts grandissaient maintes vertues qui m'enlacent et m'étraignent. J'étais à elle. Elle était mienne. Pour toi, pour moi. Alexia.

Places that are more free and meritocratic than Britain.

North Korea
China
The USA
Russia
Syria
Venezuela

>>11434957

You're on the wrong thread, anon.

>>11431281
This. Why have a crush when you can have a waifu to cherish?

>>11434975

Your waifu isn't real

>>11434975
nobody said you couldn't have both or neither

>>11434975
>>11434978
>>11434984
WAIFU AETERNA!

My crush wears forbidden colors.

>>11435037
That's what you get for not being faithful to your waifu.

>>11431255

How do you know he wasn't joking and sincerely beleives eating pussy is undignified? Like Wittgenstien said, the most serious and profound issues can only be discussed through jokes :)

>>11431200
pure autism, but kinda well written.

Damn, this bitch is fine. Can I play with your panty line?

>>11431200
funny but hella dumb.

>>11431096
I haven't met a woman more than once in ten years.

A crush in every sense of the word. Out of bounds to a man as simple as myself, yet her innocence instills hope. Perhaps she would find pity and grant me a stare, an acknowledgment of my presence, if only for a minute. To exist, only through her eyes. Mine and everyone elses don't matter. Is it fair to feel anger? It feels easier to blame her than myself for my diseased thoughts. Diseased and full of malice, to willfully subject myself to dreams of love that will never be. I've built us a house, I've walked our dog, I've finished painting our daughters room. All before we've spoken a single word. I've become somewhat of a collector, there are many houses in the place that I keep all of you. Most of them I will never visit again. Some I've lost the key to. Maybe you can be special, maybe you can leave the door unlocked. I'll knock and the door will creak open, pushed by my knocking. Will you smile at me and welcome me home?

>>11431133
i really want to know how this dumb fetish developed and when, dyou think unmanly dudes have been thinking about being forced to lick ass forever or is this new, is this what the collapse of civilization looks like?

>>11431200
Standing ovation

You're all meant to be 18 or older, stop having "crushes" like hairless teenagers and approach the fucking woman to find out what the score is.

>>11435527
4 to 3, angels

>>11435513
Digesting healthy bacteria is beneficial for the survival of a species. Thus eating ass developed through evolution.

>>11435565
Preach, brother.

>>11431791
Thread pls

>>11431096
She lay on the serene sea of verdant green and stared into the azure heavens above us, her brilliant locks tussling onto the grass beneath her, her crimson lips growing into a loose smile on her smooth pale face, her emerald eyes returning my loving gaze. As she spoke I glanced down at her elegant figure, her shapely breasts and comely derrière, her long and slender legs curled up on the field beneath us. I held myself in this brilliance, this celestial radiance, this moment in time that I entirely devoted to admiring my angel, my love, my ____.

>>11431298
very true

>>11431791
need this answered
get to it autists

I MOUNT AND FUCK
SHE ASKS ME TO PUNCH HER IN THE RIBS
I OBLIGE BEFORE SHE FINISHES HER SENTENCE
I FUCK FOR HOURS, BUT IT DID NOT USED TO BE THE CASE
WHEN I WAS IN LOVE, I CAME EARLIER AND ALL TOO SOON
NOW I AM OUT OF LOVE AND FEEL ABOVE, I FUCK FOR HOURS
I STAND UP, PLACE ONE LEG ON THE BED AND PUSH MY HIPS FORWARD AND LEAN BACK SLIGHTLY
I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AT MY REFLECTION AND SMILE
I LOOK DOWN AT HER, PLACE MY HAND AT THE BACK OF HER HEAD AND WITH MY OTHER HAND I USE IT TO CONTROL MY SEX ORGAN TO SLAP IT ON HER LIPS AND FACE
I GROW HARDER, SHE MOANS AS I USE THE TOP SIDE OF MY FOOT TO RUB HER
I MOTION WITH MY HAND FOR HER TO OPEN HER MOUTH WIDE
SHE OBEYS
I CLOSE MY EYES AND PUSH FORWARD UNTIL I HEAR HER CHOKING
AGAIN, AGAIN, AND AGAIN
I HAVE BEEN LIVING FOR 25 YEARS AND HAVE NEVER SHOT MY LIFE FORCE ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN HAND OR DEEP WITHIN A CUNT
TODAY IS NO DIFFERENT

>>11437082
based

>>11437082
best post itt

>>11431200
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FANTASTIC MY BROTHER. YOU GET IT.

>>11431200
>THE BOX'S POX
I FUCKING CRACKED UP OUT LOUD. JESUS, YOU BETTER BE WORKING ON A WORK TO RELEASE TO THE PUBLIC.

>>11431133
I wouldn't want to do that at all!

>>11433517
lucky anon

>>11431096
Dude i wanna fuckin cumm on her. The ponk hsired one with massice tits she is fucking hot. Like justimagine her forcing you to lick the folds of her tit and getting grease all over it and when you lick her face and you get a mouthful of pus, dead and makeup but its worth it because her fucking tits bro looooooll. Those are the best tits ive seen all day and idealy if i knew this queen shed have my dick locked in a cage and id be her personal maid bro lool.

>tfw the love of my life genuinely was so completely "too good for me" that I am fundamentally okay with her leaving me forever, and at the same time, I don't want anyone other than her, because she was so good she makes all other women look like shit
>tfw this has caused an unlikely homeostasis that neutralizes both my need for genuine companionship and my need for her companionship in particular
>tfw I am now immune to the wiles of women and can irresponsibly fuck girls much younger than myself until I am dead
>tfw I'm like Rampage in Beast Wars when he cut out his spark and became invincible

I don't have crushes. There's only women I find physically attractive, and the ones that I've met that I may have liked beyond looks were either already married or engaged with a marriage date set.

Stop posting these pretty girls with bird brains and applying all your ideal intellectual qualities to them. Get a grip and realize if you did meet a girl who had the intellect close to what you desire she'd dress way more modestly and take nowhere near as many selfies, if she even took selfies.

>>11431096
If a racoon could smile, that was her smile. Surely the devil had lost his eyes, for by some stroke of luck she now wore them.

I WANT ALL ART HOES TO KNOW
THAT A REAL SHITLORD JUST HIT THE DO'

>>11431096
early 40's, PhD advisor, sexy accent, extremely extroverted but somehow socially clueless, bats her eyes alot and loves to rub her forearm when we talk. goddamn this is hell

>>11431442
Anyone have experience dating ugly girls with a good personality? How'd it turn out?

>>11436548
>>11436725
>>11431791
Thread pls

>>11437376
>ponk

>>11431133
I like to imagine breaking down their fake masculinity and forcing whichever one is actually a chick to be the perfect feminine wife.

>>11431096
Her light green eyes and mousy face act as my drug, and whenever I see them I feel more alive. My days of suicide are gone, but she still shines.
And God help me, she's Jewish.

>>11431149
haha that's fucked up