/lit/ - Literature

women's studies major here. i think i should be allowed in here for sure. it's practically the same thing at this point.

Does law count?

>>11413700
you know what, that's fine; that's great; let me ask you, what does that major entail? how do you like it thus far? do you study any woolf, any plath, any other modernist, contemporary, renaissance, victorian, or romantic authors (including mary wollstonecraft shelley)? how do you like it? let me know in the comments below

>>11413704
sure, i'll take you in; my little refugee; my little girl, my little one and only; what kind of law? and what books do you read? do you find any knowledge in the way shakespeare discusses law, usury, loans, and lending in his plays (specifically speeches of polonius in hamlet)?

>post favorite works
Gurrelieder and finale of 2nd string quartet

>>11413722
YES; that's so wonderful, so wonderful, so beautiful; business is a nasty affair, a sordid one; this is the right choice, and a noble and graceful change; what works, what favorite authors? what compelled you? tell all, tell all; i'm your captive and captivated audience

>>11413697
My favorite work is Joseph and His Brothers and you leaving one thread and creating another doesn't stop you from beinga faggot. If anything it amplifies it. You are the biggest faggot I've seen on this board all year, your syntax exudes faggotry, each semicolon appended to the butt of another miserable self-reflection stands out like the myriad colored dildos appended to the scanty garb of the egregiously clad marching faggot in the annual Marching Faggot's parade. Desist your flagrancy.

>;
Thats why everyone hates you and you deserve it

>>11413728
stop reading nabokov, faggot

>>11413710
i really want to fucking kill you, try hard cringe disgusting asshole. i want to murder you so fucking bad. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. fucking gross. yuck.

I-I like Withering Heights!

>>11413705
i would take so much fucking pleasure in stabbing you 100 times with a knife you creepy fucking degenerate retard asshole. you piss me off so fucking much. pretentious fucking twat. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

>>11413727
ah yes; schonberg; a wonderful modernist composer; dismantled and demolished chromatic theory in favor of twelve-tone harmonics and atonal modus operandi; his work, the one with the strings; i forget the name, hold on; ah yes, verklarte nacht; beautiful, haunting, harrowing; disturbing, unnerving; one of the greatest 20th-century composers; truly, good piece

>>11413731
and that's you trying; i love your adjectives; was google your engine? dictionary.com? sure, call me whatever; call me faggot, call me ornate, florid, pretentious, affected, ornamental, call me magniloquent and grandiloquent and orotund; but it's my style, it's mine; it's unique, it's like nothing on this board; it puts me above; stands me up and out; so give me your myriads and exuding and egregious adjectives and flagrancy and corruption and o whatever else it is;

>>11413732
see above, okay?

>>11413736
i've never read a word or line of nabokov in my life; nor do i intend to in the near future

What did you guys write about for your undergrad thesis? Mine was about fictionality and authenticity in Vietnam war literature.

>>11413738
>>11413744
what's wrong? did i pinch a nerve? poke a vessel? poke something in you? did i awaken some latent and hidden problem in you? am i overflowing you with today's stress? you're good, you're good; let's talk it out; let's work it out

>>11413745
>>11413751
how long are you going to continue this? lol don't u have something better to do with your time than make fun of english majors on this board. u could actually be reading right now lol

>>11413742
it's wuthering heights; and i love it; it's one of the greatest books; i read it a few years ago for senior year; wrote an essay on it; the teacher asked me if he could copy it so he could show it to the next class of kids; i was honored, i was proud, i threw my fists up in the air and danced the morris and the cinquepace in my room when he announced it; i was pleased, and satisfied; and i even got an award at the end of the year

"haunt me, haunt me, wherever i go; only do not leave me in this abyss where i cannot find you"

i remembered those words over and over again in the warehouse when she dumped me; those are potent words, there

>>11413756
i'm about to right now; i just, uh, i needed my attention for today; i needed some love, some compliments, as: "oh anon, i love your impeccable peccadillo of style; i love your writing; it's lovely and wonderful; it's just grand" and other nauseating adjectives; and i thank thee

>>11413697
>that look down on us and humiliate us for being english majors
Literally no one who isn't a total brainlet does this. The worst anyone does is express concern that you're going to be fucked after you graduate due to the grim reality of technocapitalism.
t. math guy

>>11413765
I lol when I imagine how lonely you are

>>11413767
ah yes, what did i say? read that title; i see they don't teach the math majors comprehension skills; here, i'll spell it out in numbers for you; consider this language here;

a=1, b = 2, c = 3, d = 4...

ENGLISH MAJORS ONLY
5 14 7 12 9 19 8 13 1 10 18 19 15 14 12 25

>>11413728
I'd been back and forth for about three or four years now with what to major in. Everyone knows the stereotype that with an English degree, you won't find any work whatsoever. So I believed it and at first declared STEM and then business afterwards for the job security aspect. But neither of those really interest me, so my first two years of college i've taken classes here and there, mostly slacking off. So going off of that and the few literature and writing/composition classes i have taken, I decided to make the change with the help of one of my older friends. Whereas he quit mid semester of a astrophysics graduate program, and is pursing a film program this upcoming semester. It's all about following what interests you, and if you fail the first time, then try again, and again, and again. So with this change, I hope to make friends with the English department and join the same professors in graduate school at the same school. And then from there, I'm not sure, maybe more school or maybe I'll try to find a job, but i'm not so much as worried about that since I've got the next few years of my life figured out to where I'll be truly happy.

>what works, what favorite authors?
Favorite author has to be PKD since I've willingly read the most by him. But favorite works include Moby-Dick, The Holy Bible, Asimov's Foundation series, and One-hundred Years of Solitude.
My first class begins with World Literature where we start with the Greeks, so maybe i can roll in and show my power level on the essays.

>>11413771
it's only temporary; then i'll be out of this mess and be gone from it; then i'll be away and out of it

>>11413790
Why do you repeat what you say; say the same thing after the semi-colon?

>>11413789
perfect, that's really the way to go for it; i'd rather be studying something i truly love than guaranteeing job security; the jobs will come, whether they're handed to me or i have to scour and plunder for them and try to grasp them and search for them everywhere; and moby-dick is a fine, fine choice of baroque victorian literature; he commixes shakespeare and biblical language well; it's a grand learian tale and a lovely book; and the bible itself, well, what's there more to say? it's the central influence of everything, the center, from which the canon radiates and gets its base from; a grand book; good work, good work; good luck to you, and congratulations on the change and your next few years of happiness

>>11413798
emphasis; repetition; it's a rhetorical style and flourish; it commiserates with the work; it gives it a kind of reinforced power; as one would find a buttress would do to a fortress wall; an enjambment in a rhyme; a parapet on a gable or whatever; it's the force behind the charge; to make metaphors of everything; to drive with shakespearean energy the same concept, the same idea; but to tell it slant; to switch it up, to change, to discomfit and confuse until it all gets wrapped up in the end; it's style; you either get it or you beetle o'er its base

>>11413781
Alright I'm sorry anon, I'll leave you to your circlejerk of imaginary persecution.

>>11413804
Ty anon, i wish the same luck to you and your future endeavors, wherever they take you.

>>11413817
for this relief much thanks

>>11413819
thank you, thank you; and flights of angel sing thee to thy fortunes

>>11413811
But the "style" you use is a one trick pony; a monoreliable skill; a child that never grows up; a caterpillar forever a caterpillar; Even now I have stolen it; Made it my own; Subjugated your trite "work"; Shown it for the hackery it is; Exposed you and made myself seem clever.

>>11413853
okay, so you admit to plagiarism; you admit to it; you've made it yours; you've taken it from me; stolen it; pilfered it; plumbed it; you would seem to play upon the holes of my flute; you would seem to know me, to understand me, to play upon; though you would seek to learn me; yet you will not play upon me; you will give it back; you will renounce it; rescind it; give it back.

<this thread

bump; please keep posting; i was offended today by computer scientists in the one thread with the olive-skinned, dark-skinned lady in the shirty and capris with the heels showing her feet; i'm about to transfer to a university with 60 credits and i need the affirmation that it's okay to pursue an english major and that everything will be all right

If (you) truly love it- reading, writing, poetry, literary history and such- youll be fine. I have never once regretted mine, and, if I had to go back, would do it again. Good luck!

>>11414386
Nigga I have an engineering degree and I can't even get a callback. College is a meme.

>>11413697
Can I join this thread if I have an English minor to go along with my engineering major?

I was an english major and I regret every dollar and second I spent doing that. After college I got a bureaucratic job at an oil company that I had to beg for. I should have majored in something business or finance related because I'm finding I have some talent for it. I can and do still read on the side. I learned essentially nothing in 4 years at a top-50 university. Fuck.

>>11415161
College is a meme bro. For any of you young folks reading this shit. Try to become a firefighter instead, especially if you live in CA. They get like 90% pension or something crazy like that plus, you can work 24 hour shifts letting you only have to work 2 days a week. You literally get paid to sleep on the job. Fuck me that's such a dope job.

Tbh I don't why the STEM meme is so huge. All those jobs are hard to get too and they are definitely not stable. It of course depends on your location but pretending like they are golden ticket is stupid. The STEM is basically just few very specialized engineering areas. Sure there is usefulness in math for example as you can always find some business positon to apply it but first you need to have that job posted somewhere and it also has to pay something that is not minimum + 1 peanut. Maybe I am overly pessimistic but in my shithole in europe only medicine is kind of stable but it will overwork you. Some engineers get good jobs here although they are definitely not rich or even close. When I was a teen everyone and their mother was hiring administrative workers.. so I got education and it all vanished and became nepotistic in few years. Then I got into uni because I did not know what to do with life. After graduation I still dont know but I dont pretend or kid myself that I could go to math heavy areas. Not like there are any jobs here for that anyway. People who are working these jobs are not even qualified, they are a friend/family of someone... it is all meaningless. Also pensions will be long gone so I dont even stress about my financial non future.

>>11415211
It was a means to get cheap labor and flood the market. STEM is a lie. Majoring in the sciences (not including comp sci) is retarded, your job prospects are complete shit. Engineering there is jobs, but it's going to be a bitch to get one until you can get some experience cause no one wants to train anyone anymore.

Currently a theatre and English major (with a minor in phil) and thinking of switching from theatre to Psych. What do you boys think? Which would be more complementary of a field? If I want to stick to theatre can I go into psych for a master's? Someone please help me I've been worrying about this for so long.

>>11415225
It was never meant to be like this. I can understand that having a degree is not a guarantee to get a job in that area but it seems like nobody even cares that most jobs wont pay living wages. What are we going to do? Should all people become high end programmers and doctors just to have a living wage? Society cant function like this in long term. I dont understand. If you look at normal distributions of IQ like Gauss, you will see that at least half of population is never going to be able to achieve such competence. As years go we are becoming poorer. Soon the STEM meme will be : "be genious who studied it all childhood and specialized in this one particular area or starve to death" "You are not entitled to food if you cant be a rockstar programmer". I hate how the citizens are blaming their fellow men instead of the rich bastards. Soon there wont be any profession that they can meme anyway because the job market will be smaller and oversaturated in everything as new generations will provide programmers.

Let the system burn friends. Let the universities return to their former glory. Let those who scramble for money become the kindling for a new future!

>>11413866
do you write poetry semicolonanon? you have a good ear for metaphor.

How do my prospects look in terms of getting on in journalism or broadcasting? Currently an English major, but I'm not married to the idea of academia or teaching right off. I'd much rather apply the skills I've learned to broadcasting/journalism instead.

>>11413697

Oh! A fellow who I can be comfortable with, and on such a heinous place I dare say that I feel the utmost pleasure reading your words. A true scholar if ever I have witnessed! I simply cannot understand how those terrible oafs, that are distraught by your lexeme choices, are so hurt; I’ve pondered on this question and it falls back to a single matter that is the base of the Neanderthals that still walk among us - a lack of intelligence, and any sort of mental acuity, is showing in their primitive brains that the two of us, brothers in arms, fellow scholars, students of Shakespeare and Homer, know the truth that they seek so fruitlessly. They beg the devil, the antichrist, the man who seeks any good man’s destruction, to provide them with the apple; the succulent, luscious, all-giving fruit that god has bequeathed only to his favourite, and most devout students of his word. I commend you for your fight to show this board true eloquence despite such indecency.

Good day sir!

>>11415515
This but unironically

Comp sci student here, why don't you guys do this? It's all about writing in a correct and inventive way

Keatsfag?

>>11415546

If you were truly intelligent, you’d realise there is no “correct” way of writing; feelsgood to be a brainlet though, I bet

>>11415146
it truly, truly is; thank thee for the input; for the most original and new idea here that college is, well; is a meme; i should say; and thank you much for that, we appreciate it

>>11415249
great choices; i couldn't answer those questions for you, as my knowledge in compatibility of minors is rather slim and lacking if you so please; but we can talk more apropos about it later, toodles;

>>11415273
not sure what this means but that's fine; every now and then ye need a fire, to burn; or to be a luminous source

>>11415314
i do, or at least try; i am of the school of shakespeare, keats, yeats, all those; blank verse; iambic pentameter; put in a good rhyme or so there to keep the reader interested and appeal their eyes; it's a lovely course

>>11415515
truly, a most notable scholar i have heretofore found; how goes it? what dost thou do? art thou an english major perchance? we art amongst thieves and beggars and philistines, truly; not to say this thread is, but the people outside of it; the ones who practice quadratic equations, java, pythagorean's theorem; the sine, cosine, and tangent of a triangle; the quadrature of a circle, as if it can be solved, prithee; we are the rarities oppressed in the world; come here, under this light, this tree; stay in the shade; we'll bear through it, fellow companion; we art the sun, the shine, the light that brings forth knowledge and truth to this desolate and barren world; stay with me for a while

>>11415546
i'm sorry; i forgot the part where i made an addendum or exception to the title of the thread that allowed computer science majors to enter; please see yourself out, through the exit, as illuminated by the sign there; if you need more incentive, i'm about to bombard you with your bane, your aconite, your wolfsbane, your poison; poetry

Take all my loves, my love, yea, take them all:
What hast thou then more than thou hadst before?
No love, my love, that thou mayst true love call—
All mine was thine before thou hadst this more.
Then if for my love thou my love receivest,
I cannot blame thee for my love thou usest;
But yet be blamed if thou this self deceivest
By wilful taste of what thyself refusest.
I do forgive thy robb’ry, gentle thief,
Although thou steal thee all my poverty;
And yet love knows it is a greater grief
To bear love’s wrong than hate’s known injury.
Lascivious grace, in whom all ill well shows,
Kill me with spites, yet we must not be foes.

-william shakespeare

i hope that hurt; i hope it stung as the adder does; i hope that felt like a knight's scutcheon blade sticking into your side

>>11415562
truly, that's me; i've branched out; i've excelled myself; i'm moving up and out, and trying for more fame and limelight; give me some help, some source; spread the semicolon; or whatever it is you mean, yes?

>>11415563
i see your semicolon; you are doing good work; god-den to you, compatriot

>>11415681
Comp sci student again, actually I like poems like the Divine Comedy and Pilgrim's Progress. Have anything like that?

>>11415563
That's cool brutha. You can just invent your own language if you so desire, and you there's a lot of different ways of writing things for creative people like you!

>>11413697
What's your favorite flavor of monster(tm)

>>11415700
>Pilgrim's Progress
This sounds nice thanks for the random namedrop, anon.

>>11415700
ha, ha, ha! that's a good laugh; a straight good laugh; a computer scientist delving into dante, one of the most literate people who ever lived; as if his numbers and codes and programs can translate dante; that's to say a fish would be able to live out of water, grow legs, displace his fins, and walk on land; that's to say, well, prithee, i'm all out of metaphor and simile now; give me a few hours after work; and prithee, i'm not giving you any poems from it; you can look it up yourself; and see yourself out; we don't need you; we don't need your kind, your oppression; or any of your java code; enjoy your money, your wealth; out, out; i said

>>11415706
i'm sorry, what do you mean? i don't drink the stuff; i'm sure you do; and you reek and smell of a stem major; i'll bite; astrophysics? i'll try that one; see if that works

>>11415712
truly it is; he just name-dropped it; pilgrim's progress is written in prose; he just called it a poem; pilgrim's progress by bunyan is a prose work; it would be as if i called java a computer; but it's a program, prithee; i think

business major here i hate it. I want to switch. Anyone make it with non STEM degree it something non academia ??

>>11415716
*snap*

>>11416988
>snapping the semicolonposter
not at all based

>>11416988
i pray you, did you mean to say something? let's have a walk; let's have a brisk walk; here, i'll make you a beverage; hot or cold? tea or coffee? soda or water? we'll give you a tonic, a drink, some aqua vitae, some potation, some archaic word; we'll talk this out, we'll get you on my side; let's work this out

>>11416999
i thank thee

>>11413697
Lmao, imagine spending $30,000+ on a library card. You could just like, apply for your library card (for a modest fee) and teach yourself how to read. Or you could continue to sparknotes your way through college receiving the same unifying trash education as everyone else, spoiling your brain forever marking it as mediocre.

>>11417203
oh i'm sorry; i forgot the part where buying a library card translated into a bachelor's degree; i forgot the part where a library card transfigured itself into a degree; i must have forgot the part where a library card, through metempsychosis, transubstantiated itself and allowed me to get an english major degree; i'll go down to my local library now for one; thank you so much, thank you so very much for this insightful insight and illuminating illumination; i can already tell you are of the computer science breed; my god, they really do enlighten you all, by jove; cheers, the next drink we have together is on me, by potation and libation i will it, sirrah

I think I am going to go for a MA and study something to do with video games... I don't see much going on with literature these days, but I believe writing and literature can proceed in something adjacent with video games.

>>11413697
i majored in english and now i can't read fiction. it's a gigantic waste of time. you can get the vicarious thrill of fiction from film now without having to waste so much time. fiction is completely unoriginal and formulaic for the most part. philosophy sustains me as does books about rhetoric and new media. the sad part is that english majors don't realize that they are just as escapist as gamers in spending their free time reading victorian mystery novels when the age of print is almost over. if your book offers nothing more than a fun story or interesting characters you could have gotten that from TV or film while giving your brain a break. before reading a book ask yourself what it will do for you. how will what you read improve your life? fiction doesn't improve your life it just becomes a distraction from the other shit you have to deal with.

>>11413697
my parents told me today that I have to finish my degree no matter what. I've decided to kill myself instead. Please, someone talk me out of it.

>>11417810
the educational benefits of video games is a hot field thanks to james paul gee's work (he's at arizona state). but i wouldn't go for an English degree as they will force you to read a bunch of useless shit alongside your actually relevant research.

>>11413710

>>11413751
>did i pinch a nerve?
not that angry anon but only massive faggots use this expression

>>11417887
It's too late. And I'm interested, anyway.

>>11413697
one thing that really bothers me about english majors is the untested maxim that "they know how to write." in reality i don't think they know how to write better than other humanities students or STEM students. most literay critcism (which is what most english departments produce) is turgid, pointless, obscurantist and unreadable

>>11417904
bummer man. i'm in a phd program in english but i specialize in rhetoric and my research is classroom and new media based. my phd program refused to exempt me from american literature so i could take a class in education research methods instead. because god forbid i don't read the canon instead of prepare myself for research that isn't me going to the library every day.

>>11417884
If you are serious, just tell them to fuck off.
Start a new degree, travel.
If you're serious about dying then you must be close to giving up, close to stop caring, and if you will die anyway, then go do a few things before you kill yourself. There are no risks if you'll die soon.
I would suggest, however, you stand up to your parents. After not being able to talk to them for two years (they did mot get I was depressed and kept repeating that I had to finish my degree), I'm at a better stage with them than ever (and this is primarily because I pity them and tell them whatever they'd like to hear desu).
You don't have to finish anything. Except life, it will finish even if you leave it 'half way'.

>>11417914
I'm trying to discover an angle which permits the exploration of games as texts to support my research. I am not really interested in games as educational tools, as I suspect that shits already pretty thoroughly explored and put to practice. So for me, the Canon and critical theory is not a waste of time, though the entire endeavor may itself be.

>>11417881
i think there’s something literature does that movies and tv cannot do. there’s almost a magic element to it. you get to live inside the mind of a character in a way you can’t do with a tv show. you just watch characters on a flat screen; yes, they’re doing interesting things, but in reading you can live another persons life. it’s a lot more alive. and while you have to watch a tv show or movie at a set pace, in a book you have a lot more freedom to move around.

im an english/philosophy double major. and i’m definitely enjoying my classes. philosophy fulfills a part of me that i love. i dislike the postmodern lens we view most books through. in many of my classes we analyse everything through the view of gender and gender roles, which is bland and repetitive and definitely liberal nastiness. but in other classes i have much better profs that really go more in depth in a much more creative way.

im not sure what i wanna do with my majors. but possibly considering a law track? or maybe going into teaching. we shall see. any tips from anyone?

>>11417890
thank you, thank you; forever yours, as long as this machine churns; - hamlet

>>11417900
look, sirrah; he was angry; i only had a fair amount of stock expressions to use to voice my wary concerns; will you pluck that one away from me too? woo't thou pluck that one away, as if there were a better one to use in that moment of crisis; for shame, for shame, really; call me whatever you want, but i'm first and foremost a counseling mediator; and we need to mediate your homosexual bigotry if i don't say so myself, prithee

>>11417932
if there's any game to explore and traverse, it's obsidian's 2004 knights of the old republic ii the sith lords; it's stocked with intelligent and beautiful writing, especially on kreia's part; cryptic and abstruse yet harrowing and beautiful all at once, all bottled up into one little potation, one libation, one little aqua vitae mixture of wonder and joy; it's a thing of beauty forever if i do say so myself, prithee;

>>11417936
>i dislike the postmodern lens we view most books through. in many of my classes we analyse everything through the view of gender and gender roles, which is bland and repetitive and definitely liberal nastiness. but in other classes i have much better profs that really go more in depth in a much more creative way.
this is an important distinction. it's almost as if you can't enjoy books in an english department because your research has to stem from something other than enjoyment. never underestimate how much academics have to justify to themselves how their work is important.
>>11417936
>characters on a flat screen; yes, they’re doing interesting things, but in reading you can live another persons life. it’s a lot more alive. and while you have to watch a tv show or movie at a set pace, in a book you have a lot more freedom to move around.
that may be true but i don't think the effort is justified. it's still a made up person in the end. also, you didn't bring this up but definitely do not major in english just to find qt 3.14's. there aren't any really or else they are so liberal that they hate themselves. i used to think women would find me attractive because i read dh lawrence. i was pretty stupid. women want action and reading is not really action. so be selective with your reading time is my advice. none of the books i read as an english major (mostly british works) ever gave me any clarity on how i should live my life. that didn't happen until i discovered the greeks as a graduate student, though i had to do my own digging to use ancient philosophy to help me live my life, it's not as if my professors aided me in that process.

>>11417884
i tried to kill myself freshman year of college. then my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me immediately afterward. it was the worst part of my entire life. i wanted to die so bad. i ended up taking a year off from school and i switched universities and got psychiatric help and had a lot of in depth therapy. buddhism and mindfulness really saved my life. try not to think of life as something that should satisfy you. because the problem is that the world is constantly changing—it’s impermanent. if you focus on what you can give to the world and stop clinging to what you think you deserve from life you’ll be a lot happier. trust me things get better when you look at life from a different perspective. i’m confident in you. tell your parents that it’s your life and they can’t control you. find out what you’re truly interested in doing. it’s a huge world, mate, go explore!

i once went and talked to a bunch of random homeless guys. and while their life wasn’t perfect they still found ways to make it worthwhile.

dying is not the answer as much as i would like to believe at times. the amount of suffering you will cause to those around you is devastating.

best of luck.

>>11417951
>sirrah
>woo't thou
>prithee
imagine unironically saying words like this

>>11417970
i'm only trying to enlarge and augment the vocabulary of the peasantry; of which you're a part of; prithee

it was, of course, shakespeare's way; he made his plays smart to challenge and teach his hobbledehoy, hoi polloi audience; you would've made a wonderful groundling in the day, my little computer scientist wunderkind; my little sylvan nymph

>>11417969
>>11417884
also, great, great discussion here so far; suicide! it makes me think of hamlet holding up yorick's skull; o, that morbid and disturbing feeling of death; the existential flair and panache; the dread of the bourn that comes after, the undiscovered land; from which no traveller returns, prithee, makes us rather bear those ills we have than plunge forth onto new ones; and then of course, you know, all the despis'd love; the calumny, the castigation; the despisement; great, great talk thus far; keep it up, we can swerve this topic in a moment toward discussing death in shakespeare's plays, prithee; wrap it up, wrap it up

>>11417984
>i'm only trying to enlarge and augment the vocabulary of the peasantry; of which you're a part of; prithee
wow you actually believe improving your vocabulary makes you smart? i'm guessing you don't leave the campus that much. or else you are a believable troll. i hope it's the latter. the future belongs to trolls more than it does to people who unironically say thou
>my little computer scientist wunderkind
if only i had studied a field that isn't dying because of political correctness and gender equality. if only i had been so smart. you give me far too much credit anon. i'm an english major but there's no way i would do it again given the choice to start over.

>>11418005
vocabulary, hear, hear, is a technique and a device that unlocks the hidden treasures and gifts of the mind; if thou usest a word the opponent knows not, thou delivers a riposte, a killing blow; how does one respond to peregrinations? how dost one respond to inverecund? by tripping them at the heels, thou send'st them straight to hell; as for the english major field, you're fine; you're fine; i couldn't submit myself to the torture and to the pillory of computer science; the little java program would be my shackles; the codes on the screen, all binary and matrix-like (matrix 1, 1999) would be my chains, my fetters; and words, my dearest, words, my ophelia; words are my phoenix wings, my life-giving air; my mountain wind, my matutinal inspiration; breathe them in; ah....and out... oh;

>>11418025
>vocabulary, hear, hear, is a technique and a device that unlocks the hidden treasures and gifts of the mind; if thou usest a word the opponent knows not, thou delivers a riposte, a killing blow; how does one respond to peregrinations? how dost one respond to inverecund? by tripping them at the heels, thou send'st them straight to hell
that's more like rhetoric and logic which are both worth studying. if you stump your opponent by using a word neither he nor the audience understands then you haven't won anything except in your own head. good speakers need not have complicated vocabularies. trump for example.

>>11418038
o fiddles on your logic and rhetoric; those sound to me as words suited to the computer scientist domain and range; speak not of them in our conversation; now, excuse me;

>>11413745
schonberg is trash

>>11418053
okay, please take that back; return those words from your fingertips to your lips; from your lips to your brain; the stream, you see, make them revert their way on the stream; i don't ever want to hear or see those words again; i don't ever want my eyes to suffer that sight again, nor to have them not only suffer it but be forced to involuntarily and instantaneously transport it to my cerebrum for my own consciousness to suffer for it; and i really assume you are of the computer science breed; i told you guys to scoot, so bounce; and bounce off to the tune of verklarte nacht why don't you;

>>11418066
no

>>11418070
alright...i know you people are selective when it comes to words; exit, exeunt; leave; bounce; scoot; deport; vacate; move; go; bye; good-bye; see you; see you later; have a good one; have a good day; have a good; okay? leave

>>11418075
No

>>11417921
The problem is that I do stand up to them, but i don't want to tell them to fuck off. I just want them to understand that I'd be better off doing it in the spring rather than fall (that is pretty much our disagreement because I actually do want to finish)

>>11418078
surely this is some infinite jest; surely there is some word that will make you go, that you will respond to; that awakens in you a essence of a modicum of civility and decorum; let's see what a computer science responds to; something programmatic and logical, yes? do we need latinate logic? do you need logical latin words? sure; sure

relinquo

>>11417969
>>11417921

Thanks guys

>>11418082
>>11418089
look at this point we don't need to hear the sophomoric crying and wailing; you insulted me earlier with the snap cringe compilation; and, to make matters even worse, you have a tripcode; which reeks of computer science, along with the fact that it's some javascript code thing; take it off; and figure it out

>>11418088
Nope

>>11418098
what do you want? what moves you, impels you, compels you, insists you? here, some more, some more; we'll go for it all night, all nocturnal; even until phoebus's cart reaches its destination o'er the western hills and black hespera's night comes up, with all of her hobgoblins and portentous disasters;

relinquo; dimitto; egredior; regredior; desero; destituo; emigro; cedo; discedo

>>11418070
>no
based

>>11418114
STOP; STOP ENCOURAGING HIM; THIS ISN'T FAIR; stop encouraging him; he is not based, he is nowhere near based; he is base, base, bastardy, base; but he is not based; he's not even using semicolons

>>11418115
am i talking to harold bloom?

>>11418123
no, not harold bloom; though i am of the bloom variety; try leopold bloom; i really think of myself as a leopold bloom; a handsome jew-cuckold who defecates, urinates, and likes exhibitionism; go for it; i'm the modern man

>>11413697
What should I know about English degrees? English is the only thing Im good at and I do enjoy it, Im pretty much heading into a English Language or linguistics uni course soon so I was just looking for some tips and if theres anything I should know.

>>11418140
an easy tip; read; read till your cup overfloweth; read everything all; read; look up the courses, see the books being studied; and read them one, tloo, tlee times;

read the bible (king james version) and study it everyday; read shakespeare; read some keats and donne; read some yeats and joyce; read the modernists; read; do you see the pattern? do you get the message?

off you go; you're going to do wonderful

>>11418140
Do the reading, do your own reading, make your own connections between things, and don't, whatever you do, approach anything without the maturity to take it as seriously as it takes itself, don't seek to undermine for the sake of it.

>>11418162
exactly, my little jejune jesuit; take all things seriously, as you would want to be taken; no matter how grandiloquent shelley is in all of his works, give him an ear; know what is bad and what is good; take all seriously; they lived their lives; they felt death; they went through it; give them some deferential respect, some homage; some respect

>>11413697
fucking dorks, get a real job.

>>11418250
never presume to me dork; never label me a dork; never misnomer me dork; dork? is that my quintessence? my entelechy? all of this struggle and growth and teleology, to be misnamed dork by you? to be called dork? dork, dork, geek, a dork? i paid my way; i've paid my way; i've done your dirty work, your dirty jobs; i've done your slanderous vocations, ignominious occupations; your humiliating trades; your detestable meises; call me dork again; call me dork for wanting to step out, to live the life of a literrateur; to have conversationes with the intelligentsia; to be known, to be an expatriate; to fly, to move, to emigrate, to live; to learn; call me dork; call me dork

>>11413697
>>11413700
can anthropology majors get in on this were a meme discipline too

>>11418314
sure, sure; despite what the title says that i made, let's let everyone in; let's let you all in, right? i meant for this to be a safe zone, a come-one-come-all; a melting pot; i really did mean for this to be a melting pot, a refuge; for all the castaways, throwaways; misfits; freaks;

listen, here; you seem to be of the human-studying sort; tell me, i want you to study this; i'm showing anger toward you; what does that mean anthropologically? does that mean i don't want you here? yes....i'm sure the major might've helped you toward that inference; let's study this; i feel anger; your natural response is to......

>>11418314
>were a meme discipline too
any discipline that actually researches people in the "real world" by means of interviewing etc. cannot be a meme discipline. at least anthropologists claim that there can be stuff worth studying that isn't written down as words. try explaining that concept to an english major. another big difference is that, as a previous anon said, english is especially a meme discipline because you study texts that are publicly available for free in libraries. on the other hand, if you want to study some tribe in papua new guinea you can't just show up there without uni credentials. most of the texts in english studies that are not available at the local library are just super boring pieces of criticism that nobody ever reads but that must be published to get tenure.

>>11418364
yes; and how would one ""study"" a book from the library without the proper english major education? do you think a philistine such as yourself could pick up some tome from the local library and digest it with a clear and utter understanding without the aid of a college education? by all means, go for it; go on ahead and pick up ulysses and tell me what it all means; go ahead and pick me up moby-dick and tell me what that all means; and list me all of its allusions, metaphors, symbols, and motifs; thank you; thank you, i'll wait

>>11418372
you don't need to read canonically important literature to live a virtuous life. almost anybody can find a book to enjoy. it's only pretentious english majors that think reading joyce is some right of passage while print culture is dying. english departments refuse to concede this. it's sad how english could be the discipline that studies new media texts like greentext stories but instead reverts back to the same canon out of fear of the unknown.

any sort of reading is good for the brain but philosophy actually provides guidance on how to live your life whereas "beach reads" allow you to relax a bit the same way movies and TV do. high literature like ulysees offers neither guidance in how to live your life nor is it easy enough to breeze through for a layman. books like that are for pretentious blowhards that measure their supposed intellectual superiority because of what they've read instead of what they have actually written or done.

as a former english major i welcome the demise of the english department because i'm moving in the direction of education and new media because those fields are about something more than pontificating about the ego of a modernist. as didion put it, never trust a writer, they are always selling someone out.

>>11418372
>pick up ulysses and tell me what it all means
james joyce jerking himself off is all ulysees means. he would revel in the amount of lost intellectual energy is spent on his work.

>>11418372
also, the development of the internet has rendered literature professors somewhat unnecessary since you can get lectures, etc. online for free. now if you argue that the english degree opens up a path for a specific job that would be different, but the suggestion that only english majors can understand great literature is just as stupid as saying only english majors know how to write. as an english major i am very familiar with these maxims but i don't believe them anymore.

>>11418398
>right of passage
it's going to be rite; the word is rite; you really an english major, to mistake such a facile homonym distinction?

and no; i don't read ulysses for the elitism or the intelligence; i read it because i feel an empathy with it; i feel aligned and connected to it; i see myself in dedalus and his naive, vagrant genius; i see myself in bloom, in all of his gaffes, proclivities, worries, and fetishes; it's a human, human book; never tear it down; never dismantle it; it's intelligent only because it has to be; it's clever, witty, funny; joyce was immortalizing himself and transcribing his psychic youthful wounds onto the page; never tell me otherwise

>>11417223
Good grief my fag; I am majoring in German, and I despise computers and their programming. I am giving you the greatest advice in this thread (Umsonst). Learn a foreign language or apply for a degree in business. You yourself state you just need the peace of paper. Think: your mind with all its floutings and flourishes; relegated to the dungeon of college conformity, where great works of art are dissected by the morticians of truth, who remove all the organs and fill it with the drivel produced by standardized minds. Would you wish to join their ranks; to be become the foot soldier of fools?

>>11418417
>it's going to be rite; the word is rite; you really an english major, to mistake such a facile homonym distinction?
you really have no argument if you're critiquing my grammar. but such a move is typical of pretentious english majors. i didn't say shit about your use of semicolons although i could. why didn't i? because only a pretentious faggot thinks that a misuse of a word renders an argument irrelevant. i bet you're one of those cringy "oxford comma" jihadists. and why would i lie about majoring in english? literally nobody is impressed with english majors besides fellow english majors, and even then not all of them. some regret majoring in english like i do.

>>11418417
>it's a human, human book
what isn't a human book?

>>11418417
i bet you think that studying literature makes us understand what it means to be human or some bullshit like that. why literature in particular? shouldn't studying anything beyond our base biological impulses count as practicing what it means to be human?

>>11418417
>it's going to be rite; the word is rite
a wordy faggot to the end. you literally only needed to say the last four words but you just had to indulge yourself.

>>11418326
Keep reading because im enjoying this, and you being nowhere near me your anger has no relevance

>>11418364
Yeah but being an undergrad you do no real fieldwork and just read meme papers. Trust me they're memes, people still take Mead seriously and she, despite actually being physically present in Samoa and having real live human beings in front of her, somehow memed herself anyways.

>>11418460
>being an undergrad you do no real fieldwor
i'm sure if you go to a good enough program you can participate in fieldwork but i've only taken 1 anthropology class so maybe i'm wrong.

>>11413697
What about self hating chemical engineers?

>>11418430
well; i don't care really to don on myself mortuary habits; i've considered at times in my life to peregrinate a little bit in a foreign language; to dabble in french, to be au fait in it; to observe its coup d'oeil; to be of it de rigeuer; but also, i like english; i love shakespeare; i love the modernists; i love keats; why not relegate myself to them? why not devote myself to them, in idolatry and bardolatry and adulation? why not? i can distinguish myself in some way from the common dregs; from the pack; from the beasts; i'll find a way; maybe i'll minor myself in french; qui vous a mis dames cette fichue postion?

>>11418431
but rite of passage is such a common phrase; to mistake it to be right is to be wrong; you need to get through that rite before you talk to me, are we right? that's right, now right yourself

and no; i don't care about the oxford comma; the semicolon is a grammatical flourish adapted and appropriated from shakespeare's prose passages (see henry iv parts 1 and 2, with general focus on falstaff's speeches)

>>11418446
i mean human as in it has all of the characteristics and essences of being human; a human work is a play like hamlet; a work by joyce; that is centered and focused excruciatingly on the inner machinations, the enigmas, the mysteries of man; that seeks out his purpose, his meaning; i would distinguish inhuman, flat works by other means; they do not touch on the soul; they view it slant; they care more about plot than characterization; they sweep away emotion for setting and exposition; they do not delve deeply into the idiosyncrasies of man, truly

>>11418450
it does, it really does; and no, those last statements are wrong; literature distills down humanity to its quintessence the best; there is nothing in the biomedical fields, nothing in the science fields; nothing in your fancy anthropology or law courses that can dissect what impelled shakespeare to write the "alas, poor yorick" speech; that speech was crafted with a precise clarity of the dread of death; its mystery; its abstruseness; nothing will understand it except by analyzing it from a literary perspective; and that's human; our fear of death is a human one; go figure

>>11418457
i love to be wordy and verbose and prolix; it makes you think; it lets me restate; it lets me repeat; it lets me do whatever; try it, you'll learn something; quit being laconic and just flower a bit;

>>11418460
good, good; you're a good anthropologist; i'm sure you know all about different societies, places, groups; give me some listings of european societies; histories, politics, sociopolitical circumstances; a 14th-century rendering of england; go on, try me

>>11418476
i see that, in sacrifice to math and formulas, the STEM majors have little to no comprehension skills; so, whenever i'm needing something engineered or coded, i'll just learn binary; i'll translate it to you in numbers; i should've made the title binary; my apologies, it was insensitive of me

>>11418486
sorry, I think of soft sciences as female so sometimes no means yes, thanks for clarifying

>>11418372
I hope you are being ironic. Such fervent investment in credentialism is unhealthy and anti-American as far as autodidacticism is concerned.

>>11418486
>but rite of passage is such a common phrase; to mistake it to be right is to be wrong; you need to get through that rite before you talk to me, are we right? that's right, now right yourself
wrong about a misspelling, not wrong about my entire argument because of the misspelling. and i never said your correction was wrong, just that it does not invalidate what i said. and it still doesn't invalidate what i said. the man who mines his opponents words for misspellings and grammar issues is afraid of what his opponent is bringing up. it's a tactic for the desperate.
>>11418486
>i mean human as in it has all of the characteristics and essences of being human; a human work is a play like hamlet; a work by joyce; that is centered and focused excruciatingly on the inner machinations, the enigmas, the mysteries of man; that seeks out his purpose, his meaning; i would distinguish inhuman, flat works by other means; they do not touch on the soul; they view it slant; they care more about plot than characterization; they sweep away emotion for setting and exposition; they do not delve deeply into the idiosyncrasies of man, truly
all books are created and consumed only by human beings so i don't quite understand how all books are not human. you're making the distinction between literature and non-literary fiction but that distinction is hugely subjective.
>>11418486
>it does, it really does; and no, those last statements are wrong; literature distills down humanity to its quintessence the best; there is nothing in the biomedical fields, nothing in the science fields; nothing in your fancy anthropology or law courses that can dissect what impelled shakespeare to write the "alas, poor yorick" speech; that speech was crafted with a precise clarity of the dread of death; its mystery; its abstruseness; nothing will understand it except by analyzing it from a literary perspective; and that's human; our fear of death is a human one; go figure
literature does absolutely nothing that the other humanities do not also do by that definition. what about psychology? is that just a branch of literature according to you or an actual science?

>>11418486
>this post
good fucking god

This thread is fucking hilarious

>>11415259
>be genious who studied it all childhood and specialized in this one particular area or starve to death
except for the genius part this is pretty much my life. I realize it's unsustainable though, and I just hope people don't kill me when it all falls apart in the end

BA & MA in English Literature. Graduate with MA in Creative Nonfiction in November. I teach writing at community colleges. I'll top off at 112k as of 2021. Found a job teaching 2 months after I graduated.

I'm really into pop art. Does anyone have any recommendations for fiction books which give similar sort of artistic/aesthetic/thematic vibe to the works of Takashi Murakami? Like something like his art but in novel form.

>>11418492
if no means yes, the planets have stopped; our orbit is placated; let the heavens rain fire; no means yes, my god; you've really solved it all; you've solved the quandary; you've made opposite day; you've done it

>>11418505
and o, believe me sirrah; if autodidacticism gave me a degree, i would; if i could learn myself into a job, i would; but, you forget one slight teeny tiny little tidbit of a thing; you can't; off with you; your sight repulses me

>>11418510
yes, but usually, and mostly, someone with bad grammar also formulates bad arguments; from what i've seen, you aren't the exception, ha ha!

well, for one; a book cannot be human because a book is, well, last time i checked, inanimate; it has no life; it is not anthropomorphic; yes, read by humans; when i say a "human" book, i mean a book that feels metaphorically alive; that feels symbolically of an essence of humanity; that really feels as if i'm watching humanity take place, and not flat artificial characters walking the stage; it's as if the characters truly existed, imbued with a life force and a being that was extracted from the mind of a genius who knew what it meant to be human; who felt more, hurt more, suffered more, was more in tune to the proclivities of life; a joyce, a shakespeare, a what-have-you, yes? keep up, keep up

psychology is not literature; if you're of the psychological sort, out; we don't need you; literature analysis can gobble you up; you're needless; the only psychology we need is of the hamlet variety; devote it to psychoanalyzing him; devote psychology to literature; we'll gorge you; we'll eat you up; go

>>11418513
yes, good; thank you; anything else to say? i love these terse replies i'm getting; i know the computer scientists are laconic and wordless; i know you prefer numbers, binaries, equations, chemical formulas; try this one

c6h12o6 -- what is this? tell me what this is

>>11418535
>sirrah
is this pronounced sirr-ah, and do you say it irl while you masturbate to some fantasy of being a 19th century literature professor?

>>11418535
>when i say a "human" book, i mean a book that feels metaphorically alive; that feels symbolically of an essence of humanity; that really feels as if i'm watching humanity take place, and not flat artificial characters walking the stage; it's as if the characters truly existed, imbued with a life force and a being that was extracted from the mind of a genius who knew what it meant to be human; who felt more, hurt more, suffered more, was more in tune to the proclivities of life; a joyce, a shakespeare, a what-have-you, yes? keep up, keep up
just as i said, a highly subjective standard

>>11418540
it is pronounced sihr-ah; sihr-ah; try it
and no, i don't; i masturbate to the woman variety; i'm pretty normal; nothing abnormal here

>>11418541
and i'll tell you that i attach myself to it; it's my doctrine, platitude, beatitude, maxim, aphorism, and epigram; go for it

>>11418486
Ok hotshot, lets get one thing straight, I don't just give away my anthropological knowledge for free on the internet. I'm paying good money for this meme degree and I'm sure as hell not going to let some wordy upstart blogger in on the knowledge of his beloved England just because he asks for it and knows how to use semicolons. You're going to have to pay, and you're going to have to pay bigly, I want a thousand more sentences with at least seven semicolons in them or I'll rewrite the anthropology of England so that you were all actually Franks the whole time. You can make anything official anthropology so long as you have a bit of pizzaz. Also keep shit-talking the STEM guy

>>11418553
i dare you; i really do; i'll keep this up until the night ends; i'll keep this up until hours pass; there is no end, no dearth, no scarcity, no drouth (that's an archaic of drought) to the semicolons; bring it on; let's see what anthropologists do; let's see how human studies are; let's see how well you study them

>>11418140
i personally found it fulfilling to just do my own reading out the library and go in occasionally when the lecture was on a subject i cared about, but maybe your course will be a bit better than mine was

>>11417970
>>11417951
>>11417984
ESL here, I thought prithee was a deformation of pretty.

>>11418552
>and i'll tell you that i attach myself to it; it's my doctrine, platitude, beatitude, maxim, aphorism, and epigram; go for it
let's say you are right about the value of literature. why major in english? why not major in the classics? so much of english literature is just a rehashing of what the greeks and romans already did. and the knowledge of knowing middle english or shakespearean dialects probably won't help you excel in a non-academic career as compared to knowing latin, because the latter will help you learn romance languages faster, and because a lot of technical terms in english come from latin. i didn't major in classics and i don't know greek or latin by the way, other than the cognates of the latter with italian.

>>11418563
it's not a deformation; a common mistake from its homonymic tendency; it's actually an abbreviation of "i pray thee;" that is, to say, please; to please; please stop that; prithee stop; prithee listen; prithee; keep learning, keep reading, and good try

>>11418565
your advice does admit to a soundness that i have considered at times; either the classics or perhaps a foreign language; to accelerate and aid my chances of a better job; but also, hear me out, prithee; i want to, in essence, be a singer-songwriter; i know, i know, just listen, prithee; i have the tenor voice that dedalus had; it's a baritone-tenor, able to hit the lower notes of the ranch and reach up to the high notes; i have the voice, and i have the bellow; but i also want to imbue songwriting with a literary respect; to outshine a dylan, who had a rudimentary and audodidactic understanding of literature and its allusions; who vaguely alluded with no coherent sense of theme or motif; who listed allusions without sense; i want to outdo him; to bring literature into songwriter; to really commix them, to blend them, to fuse them; and this is more of an objective to me than a career is; it's a privileged ambition, a life's goal; with the voice, the knowledge, the drive, i want to; through penury and poverty i will; and then, in my 30s, devote myself to classics and writing a book; prithee, let's go

>>11413697
You are amazing OP, keep on the good keks

>>11413745
>i've never read a word or line of nabokov in my life; nor do i intend to in the near future
and that's a good thing

>>11418556
Thats 999 left to go you worthless anglophone. I want to witness a brilliant composition, with proper syntax and grammar and what have you, I won't accept any less, and if you don't deliver say goodbye to the Anglo and Saxon you'll all be Itals and Vandals once I'm through

Majoring in Business is /lit/, yeah?

>>11413749
Duong???

>>11413760
>potent
that's not that common in english, right?

>>11418596
I'll give it a shot. Woo't seek to pluck out my essence from me? I'll give it you. I'll doff the semicolons for a bit because I am genuinely intrigued at what you have to offer; interested in your endeavors; drawn on to your words and studies. Tell me, muse, of the societies of England and France in the postdiluvian era; tell me of the stars, of Ursa Maior, of the innumerable and infinite constellations. Tell me of the beginnings of man, through time and through the eons; tell me of his ways, peregrinations, perambulations culminating in societal innovations, technological advances, wondrous inventions. Inform me how man was endued with art, with power, with meaning, with soul. Sing to me in anthropology of his ways, his favors, his gambols, his dances, his cinquepace. Tell me of his entelechy, and relate to me of a man walking along the beach verge and tripping up on the innumerable pebbles of sand chafed by the tide. Tell me of Dian's watery influence on our orb; of her premonitions, her astronomical influences, her sways, her coy glances, her coquettish simpering; relay to me of her allures, her charms, her seductions.

World without end; prithee.

>>11418623
what ever do you mean; woo't seek to play upon me as a flutist would? woo't seek to play along my strings? it is easy; take this flute; press your fingers on its holes and blows; that's how you would know me; you would seek to know my stops, my churnings, my meanings; you would seek to blow out the meaning of my method; you would seek to charm me and play surreptitiously with me; though you would play me, yet you will not understand me; potent, he says

>>11418606
again, and again, and again; except business this time; do i need to say it to you in money? do i need to make currency amounts? do i need to capitalize on a loan for you? do i need to pay you interest plus the premium plus the principal plus the aggregate plus the give me some more loan terms; do i need to pay you my student loans? do i need to give you money to make you shoo?

let's try this: $$$$$$$$$$

>>11418635
>what ever do you mean
Usually, the regular person would use the adjective powerful instead of potent. Both wordsare derived from the Latin posse. While potent is not your quickest option, in my case Spanish uses directly potente.

>>11418668
ah, my ESL friend; prithee, i'll tell you; yes, you're right; powerful, i would say, is the root; the foundation; powerful, derived from posse (good eye); potent is more reserved, yes, for medicines, potions, elixirs, draughts; of substances rather than perhaps strength or brawn; "he was a potent king" doesn't sound too fair; i would call a potion "potent" or its effects potent; i would call a king powerful; good catch

if you need anything else, let me know

>>11413697
I want to be a writer, but my emphasis within the major is literature (the choices at my school are creative writing, lit, or teaching) because it had a more in depth reading curriculum.

I generally don’t delve into the really challenging stuff that some people love here. My favorite writers are F. Scott Fitzgerald, James Joyce, and Leo Tolstoy. I’ve read all of Fitzgerald’s novels and most short stories, love his prose style and way of describing people, I’ve read the great Gatsby probably 3 or 4 times. It was the first piece of literature in high school that made me want to be a writer. I have also read a lot of Tolstoy (AK, Ivan Ilyich, The Cossacks, Childhood, Boyhood, Youth) except for War and Peace, and I only recently got into Joyce, haven’t read Ulysses yet but I’ve read a Dubliners twice and I love Portrait.

My plan is to go to trade school after college to become an electrician while I try to continue to publish short fiction, and to write until I feel I’ve achieved recognition in that (being published in the magazines I dream of having my work in), then I will try my hand at novels.

>>11418025
i am cs student and i certainly dont want to talk with you. Have all obscure words you want while i actually will make profound and interesting things - with my hands and my mind

>>11418784
go on ahead, go on ahead; i'll hand you the attention you want for that; i'll mind you; make with your hands and mind; i'll hand you the attention, i'll mind you; go on; i see you're missing some grammar; let's see how the java works out those errors, those errata; i don't want to talk with you either; good day, sirrah

>>11418372
lol i guarantee you 99% of english majors couldn't tell you any of those things either, not only due to the fact that they've probably never even read those books

>>11418535
>if i could learn myself into a job, i would; but, you forget one slight teeny tiny little tidbit of a thing; you can't; off with you; your sight repulses me
Limited by your own imagination sirrah, you'll never be self-employed that's for sure. Dull your mind on the stale pablum of the university.

Im a rhetoric major, does that count?

Currently reading pic related, god I love indeterminate signifiers

>>11418819
my god; if it's not the logicians it's the rhetoricians; if it's not the scientists it's the orators; has comprehension been lost? is literacy gone? has it walked its way to dusty death? have we lost it? has reading gone out the blowhole and out into the dank, desolate sea where shibboleth, moby-dick, and hespera reside? have we mocked it into oblivion? have we taken away phoebus's matutinal rays from it? is it unillumed, lost, confused? what is happening?

E N G L I S H M A J O R S O N L Y

we don't want anyone else; we don't; it's unanimous; this isn't a melting pot; this isn't potpourri, this isn't melange or gallimaufry or hodgepodge; out, out

>>11418815
i will, for sure; i will eat my pablum; i'll enjoy it; out of my sight; you audodidacts sicken me with your crude ways;

hello friends i am an english literature student although i am beginning to wish i was studying aesthetic philosophy

>>11418902
great, wonderful; get in here; it's very comfy; sit down by the fire, by the hearth; we're situated and comfy here; grab you some cocoa or a coke; and please, for the love of jove, more semicolons; inundate this thread with a deluge of them, prithee, my god, man

>>11418911
sorry im more a fan of em dashes, i think they represent my thought—in terms of its continuity and fluidity—better than semicolons, which feel much more fragmentary and disjointed to me

>>11418819
are you at berkeley? rhetoric specific majors are rare af

>>11418883
>my god; if it's not the logicians it's the rhetoricians; if it's not the scientists it's the orators; has comprehension been lost? is literacy gone? has it walked its way to dusty death? have we lost it? has reading gone out the blowhole and out into the dank, desolate sea where shibboleth, moby-dick, and hespera reside? have we mocked it into oblivion? have we taken away phoebus's matutinal rays from it? is it unillumed, lost, confused? what is happening?
>E N G L I S H M A J O R S O N L Y
>we don't want anyone else; we don't; it's unanimous; this isn't a melting pot; this isn't potpourri, this isn't melange or gallimaufry or hodgepodge; out, out
are you not aware of the fact that many english departments don't only study literature? or are you aware of that but still consider cultural studies, creative writing, and rhetoric to not be the work of english studies? i'm in a phd program where my concentration is rhetoric but there is no rhetoric department just english. english in this case covers linguistics, rhetoric, literary studies, and creative writing.

>>11418917
based. em dash semicolon battle when?

>>11418526
nobody makes 112k teaching writing at CC my friend

>>11418819
is the rhetoric major basically just critical theory?

>>11418928
Where is the indeterminate aignifiers in Foucault?; and you;>>11418911 (OP) where are you from; buddy

>>11418911
You have secured an eternal place in Shrek's cringe compilation

>>11418917
great; wonderful, and that's a great personal style of yours you've made; however, i made the thread; let's make it a little toward my way, yes? let's give me some leeway, some credit, some exemplary mimicry; let's keep it my way; forgo the em dashes; or, rather, substitute in your mind the semicolons for em dashes; think of the visual semicolon as the man em dash; that way it's easier to swallow; prithee, and thank you

>>11418928
that's great, that's grand; i'll take that into account; you said english in your rhetoric case covers linguistics, rhetoric, literary studies, and creative writing; cut out 3/4 of that; center it on literary studies; trash the rest; i don't want to hear mention of it; i don't want references; i don't want the rhetoric or the linguistics; i want literary studies; good, good; you're catching on

>>11418989
please, i warrant you; stack it as high as you can; stack it till it reaches olympus; make it a golgotha; stack semicolons like corpses that have been slain; make a wall out of it; whatever you have to; just keep posting semicolons

>>11418965
sirrah, i'm from texas; the land of the free; the lone star state; think of belt buckles, cowboy hats; cattle, ranching; horses, farms; think of cafes with the odor of cigarettes, with walls mounted with historic vintage pictures of license plates, cowboys reeling in cattle, the ranges and plains and open dales; think of tobacco spit and spitting in spittoons; think of all things literary and DASH it away, for there is none here; texas i live, and i do so grow tired of this dry, desert place

>>11418883
Well Im getting an English minor? And writing a thesis in romanticism. So it counts; bitch.

>>11418918
Yes! Yes I am

>>11418956
100%. Semiotics and their infiltration within society . The entire major revolves around semiotics, both theory and application

>>11419126
>english minor
that's it, that's it; i'm out, out; i'm lighting my way to dusty death; i'm going to bed for my 8 hours; just take the show away, "english minor;" let's have all the english minors show the english majors how to write; we'll have the minors teach the majors; we'll have the minors instruct the majors; we'll have them tell us about shelley and keats; we'll have this romantic, this courtesan, this paramour tell us about joyce and shakespeare; o for the love of jove and the heavens above, my god; just take it over; just take over my thread; bested by a minor; minor over major; we'll have the minor chord replace the major; we'll have the melancholy supersede the joviality; we'll have sadness over happiness; just take it away; the stage is yours, minor; (my god, if shakespeare had minored in english); just take it, go with it; flow on; my god, let's see the minor in english pen a sonnet; let's see; a tyger's hart wrapped in a player's hide and beautified with our feathers; let's see you make a hamlet; my god, i could have a computer scientist in here and adore him more than an english minor

>attacking the english minor even though the number of english majors and minors has dropped since the 70s
you just memed too hard my friend. now we all know you're a troll.

>>11419140
Lol well played

>>11418917
>not using superior emmm dashes
I fucked your mother ------consensually------ multiple times last night

>>11416920
pls respond

>>11419140
didn't know that is how paramour is spelled

>>11413745
this anon is the funnniest motherfucker ever
i CANNOT stop laughing

>>11413745
oh wow haha

This is literally the best thing I’ve read all year.

English major here btw. Bravo anon, holy fuck nuts.

>>11418306
dork is not a misnomer, dork

>>11413697
good thread

>>11413697
A list of your favorite works/authors please OP.
Brilliant thread btw.

>>11419179
perfect, perfect; you've found me out; you would seek to know me, pluck the flesh out of me; wear me to my bones; peer into my heart, my soul; look into my interior; spectate my inner workings; watch my core; and to label it "troll" merely; to label all of this effort, this work, this art, as troll; you're a dullard, a wretch; we don't need you; best begone, before i make you gone with a broomstick; hear, hear

>>11419429
i thank thee, i thank thee; puns are my specialty, prithee

>>11419605
it is spelled that way; factcheck me with a dictionary or a thesaurus; try me; i've got all day, thanks

>>11419689
i thank thee, i thank thee; and a semicolon for you; you best deserve it; thank you

>>11420100
a giggle; a laugh; a snicker; a chortle; it feeds me; i thank thee; a few semicolons for thee

>>11420159
it's a misnomer to me, geek; it's an inappropriate label; unfair, and no understanding; to call shakespeare a dork; to call joyce a dork; to call literary people dorks; dork, dork; it misses the whole point; a dork is one who studies, one who merely studies and is a dork; that's a true dork; but one who writes, who fleshes it out, who creates, who produces; who studies not for the mere necessity of studying but studies to produce, is no dork; no dork here; no dork there; dork it up

>>11420239
i thank thee, i do; i worked hard on it; this could all be aggregated into one essay, one work; i love it; i'm really shining on it and am prolific

>>11420572
i thank thee, i thank thee; here's how i achieved it (in simple layman's terms)

beginning chronologically and canonically:
the bible (king james version, thou shalt read even leviticus and i samuel and 2 samuel)
the complete works of shakespeare (even the histories; thou shalt not skip even the henriad nor the wars of the roses tetralogy)
the poetry of john donne (i love the valedictory poems)
paradise lost
the life and opinions of tristram shandy, gentlemen
some smatterings of romantic poetry (particularly keats and his odes; get a complete collection of keats)
moby-dick (BIG one, read this twice; a continuation of shakespeare's king lear)
wuthering heights
the complete works of james joyce
the complete works of f. scott fitzgerald
the complete poetry of t. s. eliot
the complete poetry of e. e cummings

Schoenberg still sucks

>>11421175
really, now? does he really? tell me, how; give me an analyzed description of him; give me a detailed analysis of his works, starting with his early works and moving on to his maturer, atonal works; give me a detailed argument of how shonberg sucks; tell me what it is; is it the screeching sounds? the atonal violins? the lack of tonal harmony? the lack of a center? dost thou not think that fits well with our current society? dost thou not think it fitted well back in the day when the world had been ravaged by world war? try me

>>11421134
Would you happen to be the anon that recommended me some preliminary Land works? I recognize your writing. I'm curious, how old are you? And, how long, would you say, did it take until you were able to write so fluently? I would like to improve.

>>11421183
Our current society sucks too
checkmate atheist

>>11419140
fucking cackling

>>11421183
Shouldn't you be on a ledge somewhere?

>>11421192
that anon and i are different people, i'm afraid; i know nothing of the land we call nick; although i could recommend you american land to choose from; particularly in california; stanford is a nice little place; palo alto, even san francisco; my age is of two decades; that being which i was born in the 20th century; lived in the 21st; have seen two centuries thus far; nothing pretty or remarkable yet, but we'll try; as for my fluency; i was coddled, really; i was coddled, prepped, prepared, instructed; kept close to the bosom of a materfamilias; distanced from a paterfamilias through his drinking habits, his inclination toward raging, becoming furious; morphing into beast, becoming choleric and ireful; irate at video games; and, when drunk, after imbibing a potation, breaking computer screens; throwing around speakers, shattered glass and toppling masonry; and i hid upstairs; from this i developed social anxiety, preferring myself to solitude and loneliness rather than interaction; disposing me toward more reading, more literature; you would not be me if you had to choose; though i may not be replicated, yet you may achieve some kind of fluency; you may try; i just see the world in a tragicomic, seriocomic lens; try it; it's tragic, it's comedy; it's got everything; and write, and write; develop a style; and when suffering invariably comes your way; grasp it; do not love it, but learn it; accept it until it leaves; if it's a fly on the wall, grab a hold of it until it goes; accept it, and let it propel you

>>11421201
it sure does; and neanderthals like you are the reason why; ha ha!

>>11421208
good, good; i've cackled a fair bit from this too; i love the attention; and all it took was a few semicolons and years of hiding upstairs when father had his potations; prithee, this was worth it

>>11421213
sure; or, more likely; a cliff that beetles o'er his base; that drives us to madness; check out hamlet act ii; i can be your ophelia, my little hamlet; i can be your dame, your mistress, your nymph for you; and i'll make myself wreaths and wreaths of garland, and hawthorn, and eglantine; and fall off a tree into a weeping river for thou

>>11421233
Neanderthals were pretty smart actually, your ignorant slur is disappointing, kind of makes you come off as some kind of sapiens supremacist

>>11421293
it does, doesn't it? good; good; did i hit a nerve? did i pinch one? my god, if it'll make you leave quicker, depart faster, emigrate with more celerity, here we go

neanderthal; neanderthal; neanderthal; you hairy, roguish neanderthal

>>11421296
well two can play that game you mangy australopithecine, I'll force you to depart from your own thread before I leave here, btw I've also got a second degree in comp sci

>>11421303
o you devilish roguish slovenly thing; you menace; you stupid, ugly recreant; you miscreant; dar'st thou beat me at my own game when it's all i possess? woo't thou seek to riposte me, whittle me, defeat me when this is all i have? woo't a a computer science major, who dabbles all day in binary, in codes, in theorems, in bots, in bugs, seek to test me at a sonnet, a soliloquy, a dramatic monologue? woo't thou test our respective lexicons, our vocabularies, our command of language? woo't thou seek to beat me at language, at linguistics, at allusion, at hagiography, at diacritic aspirations, at epenthetic servile letters? i'll be a dedalus to your bloom; i'll be a java to your oracle; i'll be the program to your code; you won't beat me; you are nothing against me; a computer science major playing at my own game; it's like me stepping into the matrix to beat you; it's like me transmigrating into a computer screen to battle with you; it's like me going all-out in wires and coding to beat you; let's have a sonnet battle; let's have a shakespearean sonnet battle; and the judges will be the anons outside

>>11421192
This is me
>>11421233
I appreciate the response, and the lenses which you use to view the world. I hope to hear more from you, and I'll be putting forth the necessary efforts in excelling at the craft.

>>11421328
thank you, thank you; i'll try to be on occasionally, briefly, intermittently; as the time affords; best of luck to you; best wishes; i reach my hand across this chasm of ours, this barrier, to shake hands with you; best wishes; and a wonderful life to you; god-den -

-while this machine faithfully churns
hamlet

>>11421341
Thanks, anon. Same to you.

>>11421323
im laughing like an idiot at my desk now, my coworkers are staring. The jig is up, they know I'm not working, they can probably tell I'm a freak who falls under the spell of any jambroni with creative syntax. Damn my enchantment at the appearance of a semicolon! But I would never dare to use one, I wouldn't even know where to begin, could these commas have been semicolons as well? Who can say? Does anyone really know?

Its foolish to hope to match you in a sonnet battle, but I will not concede! You first, villain, I will die as I lived, half-assing my way through things I have no business attempting!

>>11421356
Yes, challenge him. I believe in you. I'll be the spectator and the student. Learning through the divertissement board that throttles my constructivism. If this thread dies, bare a new one in your creative and competitive loins. I acquire much mirth from this syntactical battle that awards me with distraction from my employment.

Just keep the thread going. It's fun, okay?

>>11421356
o, now you've really riled me; truly, all of those commas would have been semicolons; thou could have replaced them, substituted semicolons for them; seek'st thou to mock me with derisive laughter? this jambroni has more tricks up his sleeve than semicolon-inundated syntax; i'll have thou know'st i studied shakespeare; his plays, and his sonnets; i recommended the other anon to him; let's show you what it is; let's see how a computer science major works; let's see your mind against mine; let's chart the chasms, the workings, the fissions, the folds, the loops, the interlacings; let's see which upstart crow, beautified with poetic feathers, can pop out a sonnet; let's see what java teaches you; let's see who can bombast out a better sonnet; the computer scientist, or the shakespeare devotee; have at it, scoundrel

when i do spend a time to think of thou
in chair of thine, reflecting on a rhyme;
it makes me laugh, to wonder where and how;
you'll make a verse, to beat me at my prime
thou know'st not the language that i speak
too much thou dwell in science--all else poor;
it gives me joy, the havoc that i'll wreak;
upon thine words, let slip my dogs of war
so let it flow, we'll try our best to see
what worth you have, what toil and what meed;
we'll figure out your skill in poesy;
and after thus, i'll force you to concede;
for thou must feel the end is coming near;
thou fiery star, that burns out year by year

>>11421401
truly, ho hum; it's divertissement (lovely french, the french are just lovely and romantic and i wouldn't mind a french paramour one day); and i'll definitely empty my loins out by the time i'm finished (o, so naughty, so naughty; scale it back for the bairns, the striplings); truly, this is escapism; this is entertainment; this is fun; come one, come all (only english majors)

What a journey. From at first cringing at semicolanon's forced style, to seeing him truly outsmart everyone he replies to, to being inspired to become an english major. bravo

>>11421505
Yeah, it's been a crazy ride. But, this has been probably one of the better threads, in awhile.
>(only english majors)
Nay. Entertain me, you jester; jokester; player of tricks.

>>11421476
>(only english majors)
>Nay. Entertain me, you jester; jokester; player of tricks.
Wrong anon. I'm all sorts of mixed up.

>>11421505
it certainly has been; i thank thee, i truly do; i hope you've been inspired; enlightened; we'll do this again sometime; this semicolanon will need a reprieve, a respite; a repose, a break; maybe in a week we'll try again; a fortnight; some period of time hence; while this thread lives, we'll try though

>>11421534
good, good!; my apprentice, my scholar; you're getting there; the nay is pretty; i like its archaic tone; you've appropriated the semicolons; good, good; all you do is dash them anywhere; just hide them anywhere; in your words, sentences; in-between phrases, synonyms; i love it; my god do i love these devotees, these followers; it makes me gush with enthusiasm and ego; o i do so love it; inundate me with more semicolons; fill me up with them; not to strike a sensual nerve; just fill me up with semicolons

>>11421540
Ya know, I wasn't sure how to properly use it. I just kinda went for it and emulated what you were doing, and it just came naturally; unprecedented; effortlessly. But, if we filled you with semicolons, how will we know when you end?

fag thread

>>11421609
yea, yea; and never do i end; world without end; i could be a prophecy; a prophet; a prophetess; and i sure am profiting from this, i tell thee; so fill me up; to the brim, and let my cup overfloweth; let it overflow, let it rush out in waves; let it surge upward; let it make waves; i'll never end, never cease, never surcease

>>11421616
what colorful commentary; and that choice comment of yours just made it one post quicker to its death; i thank thee; you deserve it; thank thee so much; thank thee; you just made this thread one post closer to eternity; one post closer to the afterlife; good one

if you seek to bring about my bane, keep posting those pithy, laconic aphorisms; just keep it; keep it brief and short and meaningless and you've given me my aconite; try it

I’m a stem student posting in this thread and no one can stop me

>>11421642
don't worry; this thread will be dead soon; gone; turned to stone; returning to earth; to become loam and clay to stop a bunghole; imperious caesar, gone and turned to clay; to stop a bunghole;

you haven't won a thing; try me.

>>11421679

you irl

>>11421443
My job (I know, what a concept) is keeping me away from this thread, but I haven't forgotten you, your quote-unquote poem will not go unpunished

>>11421728
I'm getting hints of J. Peterman, as well.

>>11421728
hot; attractive; splendid; fit; handsome; worldly; social; lovely? o anon, you flatter me with roses and hawthorns; thank you; thank you; i'll keep that as a memento; i do so love his look

>>11421735
i thank you; i thank you; i'll wait here, like nature's patient, sleepless eremite, for your regress; your return; your bosom; i thank you

>>11421735
YESSS COMBAT

Anon do u /have u read Aristophanes? Your style mimics his ;)

>>11422274
aristophanes? the greek tragedian? tell me about him; what are the birds? what does he mean? tell me a little anent him, anon; tell me a little apropos him, anon

I just applied to work at Starbucks and I want to McFucking kill myself. Why why why did I listen to people when they told me to do what I love? This is the fucking worst. At least if I studied something else I'd be doing what I hated with money. This is just doing what I hate AND poor. Fuck fuck fuck.

>>11422414
lol rekt
>>11421642
me btw

>>11421743
Time to defend the honor of computer science majors from the tyranny of the english language once and for all

You have your words; your words may have their sheen
Your hounds have fangs, and see how well they run
What primate left can stand against machine?
What rabid dogs can ever catch the sun?
I've scaled through vast economies of code
To drive you from your shabby little thread
My program has the power to implode
The sparse number of neurons in your head
No matter what long practice through the hours
No musty tome could ever point the way
The past is yours to keep, the future's ours
Behold thine obsolescence and decay
Goliath waits for David and his sling
Each jester learns to bow before the King

>>11422498

Mine musty tomes do radiate a light
Which light my way to bringing your demise;
Soft winds do blow, and winnow at thee, wight
And winnow more; exposing idle vice.
A vice of kings, to vaunt for wealth and gold;
To code away; diurnal avarice.
To waste, to ruin, to make thine young hands old;
To dull thine mind; to lose a woman's kiss.
For thou must know, the paramours are mine;
I woo them with my lovely, flowing verse;
Remember thou thou'll miss a love divine;
For bits of coins, to join you in thine hearse
Plate sin with gold; you'll live a time or two;
But what's a life without girl's golden hue?

>>11413697
Before this thread is relegated to the past-tense, let me just say I've really enjoyed reading your posts, Keatsfag.

>>11422640
i thank thee; i thank thee; and if it relegates itself to the past-tense; that's fine; what is present becomes past; the future becomes present, then past

o fuck this i've had enough. just let this thing die already

>>11416920
Finance major here.

Stick with it my friend. Almost all of the great works in the public domain are available through the web.

The shit lib arts majors go through after college is insane. My CIS professor at community told me about an art history major 70k in debt and working at costco

What is happening in this thread

>>11422676
It's gone off the rails. Abandon thread.

>>11422602
For verse she'll settle if the price is right
But strength and glory most can draw her eyes
What poet worth his salt so lowers his sight?
There's more than woman's touch we truly prize
What difference, you and beast, if those your ends?
While universe itself is ours to win!
What language must we speak? It all depends
You think I'm frail? Your arms are much too thin
Even the pen's a weight you cannot grasp
So slight are you from years of worthless rhyme
Too short your legs; no energy to last
But we who know the code can take our time
So hold her close; sing her the verse you've wrought
If heaven's crammed then you'll be made to rot

>>11422648
Wtf don't break kayfabe!

>>11422676
an existential crisis

>>11413697
Narrow minded! An English major too.

damn guess OP left

Yikesu

>>11422778
o fie, o foh; just take it, then; bombasting out a sonnet; prithee, that's not bad; that's somewhat all right; it's nothing shakespeare; nothing milton; good try; i've spent my energy already on the things; good show, good show; we see the computer scientists have endurance; that's it, that's it; they endure; they can chop out and code out sonnets like copying papers; they can copy them out and churn them out with speed and celerity; i'd need a few days, a few days, a few days to make mine; to show thee the quality; take it away

>>11422789
sorry; i've recouped my energy; let's get this machine going again, yes?

>>11425135
On the subject what you can do with a few days work, and if you don't mind me asking, is there anything else by you we can read? Not that I like your style or anything

>>11425147
no; i don't; truly i don't; i don't have anything else you can read; dost thou think i would have something else to write, to work on, to put effort into, knowing i have mounting and cresting college debt? knowing i have loans? knowing i have studies? think'st thou i can sit back, relax, chug one, and write you out a novel, a work, a prose passage, a something or one thing? dost thou think i have the time in the celerity of this world? the acrobatic pace? the rat race? the stupid face?

>>11425517
....y-yes?

>>11422778
of course she will, she'll settle down with you;
that is, to say, she'll settle for a fool;
who prides himself on strength and royal view
what happens when time makes his passage cruel?
for this, you know, hath held since days of yore;
time's reaping scythe doth take away strength's heat;
right now you blaze; and hack away in war;
but soon your bones will sink into defeat;
she loves you now, and holds your sinews tight;
she claws you up; performs fellatio;
of course she rides, because thine price is right;
a drooping reign; a pigeon to a crow;
so hold on tight, and worship all your code;
and finish soon; she'll find another load

>>11425521
well i don't; i have ten million things on my mind, ten billion million; i have to perfect the sonnet form to beat the computer scientist; i have to study; i have to work; i have to toil, plunder, wreak, reck, plunder, pilfer, pelf, everything; everything under the sun, yea, verily, verily; prithee, i don't have time; i don't have time; come back to me in 2 years; come back to me when i've swept the brazen earth off its coquettish feet;

>>11422778
here, another one; i can't take you; i want you out; i want you away; i want you gone; exeunt; here, another; try this, shakespeare

of course thou say she settles for your code;
it's all she hath; coy dames do flock to thee
a king doth shine, before he may erode;
she thinks you fine but temporarily
so make yourself a gilded palace throne;
and code it out with java; make it sing
a hymn for thee; a constant, mending drone;
and revel in your jewels and ruby ring;
but soon thou code will crumble and decay;
new codes are made, and programs get updates;
she loves you now, she loves you for today;
but watch her leave, as written in the fates;
for kings do pass, and gold is but a dream;
to make thou sweat; and toil for the gleam

>>11425572
>>11425538
You accuse me of churning my sonnets out like a machine, and yet you compose not one but two in an eye-blink. I think you're more of a STEM major than you think. Have I hit a nerve?

>>11422778
here, another one; i'm so sick of you; you pestering, flocking knave; you pestilential fen; you marsh; you bog; you bogged bog; you bogged boggy bog of marsh; and fen; you fen; you three witches of cawdor; sing; sing; i grow so detested and tired of you; you innervate me; you disgust; another one, horatio

>>11422778
she loves you for your money, this is true;
a temporary dame to soothe your lust;
but i have that which passes outward view;
a poet's heart, and verse to outlive rust;
for gold may shine, and gleam for years and years;
and give thee all the dames and girls thou please;
but more infinite a simper'ng girl reveres
the sonneteer; whose shine may never cease;
my verse gleams bright, and glistens with the sun;
it boasts away, and glisters more than gold;
what you may code; i tell you i'll outrun;
a boastful king is turned from young to old;
so tell me all the ladies thou can get;
but verse beats code; you're just a pirouette

>>11425581
thou art a machine, m'lady; you festering disease; you rotting chancre; you disgusting heirloom; talisman; i want you off; i want you gone; i want you out; i want to sonnet you out; i want to shakespeare you out; and don't pick up my phrases; my hit a nerves; my pinched a nerves; don't presume to take those phrases; i want you out; i want you out

>>11422778
more; more; i despise thee; i abhor thee; rancorous feud;

thou festering disease of royal vice;
thou prurient and reckless libertine;
who paves himself in gold, in cruel device;
to win the dames; a glossy, shameless sheen;
what code can stop the ticking hand of time?
take all the gold you have and all the jewels;
thou still will fade; your bones will be the lime
that plasters walls, and shelters sluts and fools;
so go ahead and pile up, thou ruck;
gorge yourself on ragamuffins too;
and gild yourself on hamadryad's luck;
but listen close; come here in morning dew;
i hear a bell; of wondrous harmony;
don't ask who for; i know it tolls for thee

>>11425581
another one; i want you gone and out; i want you buried; i want you buried with this thread; i want you out; to think he would challenge me to a sonnet feud; and he a computer scientist; the gall; the audacity; temerity; i'll give thou that; thou hast the testes; thou art the man; here, another; choke on it

so choke on this; gorge up all that you can;
you love a girl, and sweetly pleasure her;
you give her rings; you dance with her cancan;
but then she goes; your gold lost some luster;
and that is that; what else is there to say?
she loves your code; a matrix; verdure screen;
an outward shine; attracting bawds all day;
but what's it mean? say something, libertine;
and here i wait; what substance does it hold?
an endless screen; a list of numbers long;
like useless jewels; like hollow, fickle gold;
to shine for days; and make the righteous wrong;
so gorge yourself on lusty appetite;
but don't forget; my verse outlasts your trite

>>11425654
>>11425636
>>11425615
>>11425612
>>11425572
That a poet should be such an industrialist about his work...how distasteful

The world's a ladder up, and women they
A weight to keep your feet affixed to ground
So if thats all we do, enjoy the stay
I'll shape my wires into a fist and pound
I'll rattle cages, scream with all my might
And let my arms be broken, eyes be burned
If all that's given us is endless night
I won't have left a single stone unturned
Not just for coins of gold or bytes of RAM
I hunt for greater trophies in the dark
Shakespeare of ones and zeroes that I am
I'll take these bits and strings and build an ark
Mock on, mock on, your words ring false to me
A nerve is struck and that is plain to see

>>11425581
another; another; he says i churn; he says i churn; he says he poked a nerve; he says i would be a STEM major; the temerity; the absolute gall; another

accuses me of churning out these rhymes;
when all it is is passionate display;
of beauty at its conquest over time;
my verse will last forever; yours a day;
what else is there? i'll do this all day long;
to show thee that the english major wins;
he gets the girl; he has his peasants throng;
the gold is his; and chanters sing him hymns;
there is no code; no scientific phrase;
to win a dame, and keep her all thine life;
she flocks to gold; but once she's at your place;
she eats it all; and leaves when there is strife;
but pen may shine; and poets know the rule;
to keep her pleased; to thou and thee her eyes;
we know to dress her up in creamy tulle;
we give her songs; our ornate words entice;
so code away, and show us science too;
but dames will leave; and come to me; not you

>>11425664
o you pestilential fen; you mocking roguish devilish fiend; you; how dare you even invoke shakespeare; how dare you even take shakespeare into it; how dare you; i'll make you; i'll make you

thine bits and strings; go try and make an ark;
and play the fiendish devil at his part;
thou say you struck a nerve; a statement stark;
i'll more than strike a nerve; i'll pierce thine heart;
thine flimsy, feeble verse brings out some light;
it may attract some idiotic dame;
who gather 'round whatever may seem right;
but nothing know; a moth to flick'ring flame
thine flame of outward light doth nothing hide
beneath the swelling verse and outward show;
try with your strings to make a boat reared wide;
but watch it as it sinks in twilight glow;
thou waning tide, thou ebbing, backwards flow;
make way for me; to hell is where thou go

>>11425669
A girl! A girl! This parrot knows a trick
But his delusions simply don't suffice
Two lovely legs are all that make him tick
As if two legs fetch so absurd a price
A woman loves an artist when he's young
Youth fades away, and what could be more plain
You'd fall for every lie comes off her tongue
And sing your empty sonnets in the rain
Passion you have, that much I can't contest
A complex too, one simple to observe
You fear inside that science might know best
Deny it if you wish; you have the nerve
Why else so much commotion, why the churn?
Unless there's truths one doesn't wish to learn

>>11425704
>thine bits
>thine flimsy
>thine heart
>thine flame

>>11425730
there he goes again; there he goes; prithee; i'm going to get you; i will make you break; i swear it; i'll get you; i really, really will; i'll make you

thou parrot me? thou name me parrot, you?
you really do? you really do, i see;
thou lying, cheating; o, what will i do;
i'll make you lose; i'll make you pay the fee
to keep this on; the cruel audacity;
to mock my rhymes; to float, to move, to try;
the pestilential gall; temerity;
i'll geld your frame; i'll make you sit and cry;
to mock me; frame me; tell me complex too;
to call my sonnets empty like a bowl;
to denigrate the verse, my platitudes;
o what, o what, o what, what rhymes with bowl;
i've lost it all; i'm setting down my cap;
this fool has won; to what, to what; o, crap

>>11425759
>i'll make you sit and cry

>>11425759
I don't think a thread has ever made me laugh this many times, you really have a gift

>>11425730
o soft, o soft; i'll find my wits; i will;
to keep this up; i'll never let you win;
thou thees and thines; thou speak a lacy frill;
but what's beneath? let's see; let's try; begin
a pompous verse; a bloated, heated mess;
that sings along; and sways, and moves; and stamps;
what else is there? woo't live in strained duress?
endure this test; and get you in some tramps;
duress is yours; thou will not live through time;
its scythe will cleave; and rip thou lines in bits;
thine bits and strings; thine fancy, upward climb;
o what; what else; let's see what word this fits;
i'll make you cry; i'll make the women see;
and laugh at you; thou rogue; celerity

>>11425785
Oh its back on? Fuck I had stopped writing, I have no idea how you make these things so fucking fast

>>11425771
thou want a sonnet too? i'll thee and thou thee too; ophelia; i really will; try me; post that again; try me

>>11425774
i thank thee; i thank thee; introverted stress and duress is just my thing; i thank thee; i really do; prithee; god-den

>>11425788
yes; i do; i really do; i churn them; i machine them; while this heart still beats; while this machine still churns

>>11425816
semicolon poster why do you not conjugate your archaic verbs along with your archaic pronouns

>>11425816
A boy thinks he can pierce the heart of man?
The measure of his pride, oh who can tell
Go cheer the twilight on with all you can
The twilight swallows poets up as well
And damsels too, who time does not befriend
Know well to hide their faces in the gloom
What good is all her beauty at the end
A fitting bride for such a paltry groom
Take up your scythe, it wobbles in your hand
No reaper you, not much can you impose
A snicker makes its way across the land
This child, an emperor? And for his clothes?
These sins of boyhood, manhood might absolve
So join us, brother, watch the world evolve

>>11425823
fine, fine; prithee; for thee, for thee; it's my style; sure; i'll conjugate the verbs for thee; woo't thou want'st that? woo't thou seek'st that? thou would'st also have me place the apostrophe to set asideth the distinction? would'st thou teach'st me the way to do so? woo't thou force'st me to think; o this is rough; this is rough; i haven't read shakespeare in a while; i forget the archaic conjugations; so we have here; let's see; or see'st; o, and what conjugates; what doesn't; thou conjugat'st; o; the apostrophe there? or here; we'll try; we'll try; i'll get back to thee; we'll get it

>>11425828
o! o! i see'st thou improve and improve; it maketh me perspire; verily; unto thee; let's see; let's see'st about these archaic conjugations; let's give it a go; let's mend it; let's fail a bit; let's try a bit; i'll maketh thou the man; i'll maketh thou the man; o, that's delightful; let's see

a paltry groom; and boy he calleth me;
how dare this boy; this callow, jejune youth;
he's beautified in immaturity;
thou verse doth reek; i say the simple truth;
when time's sharp scythe doth winnow all the land;
and chooses what to reap and what to sow;
he'll leave you there; thine verse bombastic-grand;
prodigious mess; an ardent, waning glow;
my adjectives i'm losing all the time;
i don't know what is next or what i'll say;
i've churned all out; i'm focused on the rhyme;
and conjugations; o, coup d'oeil;
i never was a milton or shakespeare;
to rhyme like them; o, what else; o, i fear

>>11425865
I'm afraid I have to run; on endurance, speed, pluck, and output, you must be declared the victor. Well done my outmoded friend, you are the champion of your thread

>>11425881
thank you; thank you; your verse was wonderful as well; i slacked at the end; bit of rhyming; bit of conjugation; you know; conjugate this; rhyme that; ha ha!; speak in an archaic conjugation style while also plucking out rhymes from a hat; from a deep, centerless hat; and also flair it, panache it, cresset it with metaphors; to speak in the modern archaic english but also with metaphor; that's rough; that's rough; and also, of course, make it prolific and make a lot of them; that's rough; next time, next time; i'll read up more for it; i have his complete sonnets on file; prithee, god-den; sirrah

>>11417031
I love you Anon, never change

>>11426125
thank you; thank you; god these compliments and pretty words fill me up with something; they really do; they swell me up; like a coming tide; like a swell'd tide on the seashore; like on the pebbles; the innumerable countless little rocks; sand pebbles; stones; chafed stones; rocks; like a stone (audioslave, 2003); you really do me; you really have me; you have me; you do, yes you do; yes you do; you do

my little pantomime stringed mobcap; my little widow twankey crinoline; with bustle and muttonleg sleeves; my little ophelia with hawthorn and heather and eglantine; o, o, o

o i missed this thread so much; prithee, come back; it's all i have; all i own; all i feel, taste, suck, eat, nourish, flourish wourish pourish hourish; please, please, o please; with eglantine, flowers, crow-nettles, garlands, wreaths; a cedargrove growing aslant a brook

please come back; please, please; i promise i'll get better; i promise i'll get a job; i promise thou college, 2 years, a semester more than 2, 2 and a half, yes 2 and a half, and i'll pay off the loans; and o please, o please; i'll get you back; come back to this thread; the play's a-going; the show is on; the players strut; they bellow, yell; they sing, dance; hamlet still mourns; ophelia still burns; iago still deceives; i still yearn; let's go; let's go; we aren't dead yet; i'll get her back o yes i will; come back to this thread

>>11422414
You do realize there are options right? Trade school, military, merchant marine, et al.

>>11413697
>no other majors allowed

Better leave you're own post, because you're a major faggot.

>>11426602
o dearest, good, good; tell more; tell all; let's unlock the secrets of your bottom drawer; the enigmas of your haunches; your metaphoric hindquarters; tell more; reveal all; let me palm-read you (i love palmistry); what more for that anon would you say? tell us of trade school, of military, o muse; tell us vocations, occupations, legislations, registrations; tell us, tell all; yes

>>11426617
o; goodie; goodie!; an upstart crow competitor!; beautified with our golden feathers; a pun on major; that's grand; that's major; major oliphant, i take you?; lancecorporal major?; majority, major?; major, major, major in the army kind of major? mi mejor; mi mejor?; let's see what you have; i'll sonnet you; i'll draw out a truncheon sonnet out of a tabard, a scutcheon; let's go; let's see; come at; i'm at the mental prime right now

>>11426626
>When the only vagina you've ever bean inside belonged to your mother

>>11426642
i'm sorry? i don't follow; virgo intacta? think'st thou i'm virgo intacta? dian's maid? dian's chaste maid? dian's vestal virginal? diana's moonbeam chaste nun? in coiffeuse; in coif? with headcap?; o ho, here's the contention; the misunderstanding; the game; i've been in more holes than you'll see; i've been in more warehouses, more attics, more buckets than you'll be; i've been in more caves; more loops; more hoops; more troops than you can imagine; horatio, there are more things in philosophy than are dreamt of in your imagination; come back to me on this; we'll talk; get some rest

>>11426653
So I gathered from the sonnets, bit of a don juan aren't we

>>11426664
verily, i am; i've smoked a few birdseye cigarettes; i've dabbled in bawds; i've seen some bellos, some mistresses; some dames, some nymphs; some sandstrewers; i've known them; found them; lied with them; catch the compass of my drift? i've don juaned a bit; but i'm no byronic hero; hee hee hee!

>>11426664

i'm bored; i'm bored; just give me something nice;
before this dies, i want to keep it up;
let's talk some more; of men, of moose, of mice;
let's keep it up; and overfill my cup;
where did you go? i thought we had debate;
we bent toward the precipice of thought;
we just about were headed to relate;
the virgins that are here; of which i'm not;
come on, come on; where is your silly stuff?
let's keep it up; let's go, let's go; come on;
we need to speak; i haven't had enough;
let's go right now; before the thread is gone;
before it fades, to ashy slumber sleep;
for this is ours; we'll laugh before we'll weep

>>11426653
When you don't need to write gibberish because your Bsc in Mathematics is literal, physical proof that you're a clever boi

>>11426760
good; good; show us some stuff; show us some addition; show us some 1 + 1; some 2 x 2; show us the multiplication table; give us that a^2 + b^2 = c^2; give us that l (triangle) = 1/2bh; o yes; show off; give us your math sonnets; your jumbled codes; your puzzles; your theorems; your what-have-yous; your nothing aphorisms; go; go

>>11426774
Maybe a sonnet out of equations? I think it has potential

>>11418314
What school? Which subfield? Favorite anthro books?

I'm an archaeology MA student. Currently reading A History of Archaeological Thought

>>11413697
OP what's your favorite anime?

>>11426866
yes; ho hum; yes; indeed; we'll try; we'll go for it;

>>11426993
none; just none; i'll say bleach; is that the patrician one? think of the patrician equivalent of bleach and i'll say that one; ho, hum; was never an anime believer; an anime thing; an anime devotee; go figure; ho, hum; prithee

>tfw I wanted to study hispanic lit but my parents didn't let me
I entered international relations instead.

>>11427013
anon; i'm verily sorry; good luck to ye; i thank you

Whoa whoa hold on a second
People ACTUALLY major in English? Like, this isn't a meme like planking or fingerboxes? People do this for real?

You're going far anon. You are in touch with your inner genius. Let me be your producer for making music.

>>11427078
yes.....; is something wrong? poke a nerve? pinch a nerve?; i'm majoring in english; i spoke to an advisor today; she set me up with classes....; is something up? a pinched nerve? a poked feeling?; what's up; talk me through it; let's hear it

>>11427086
Why do you use so many semicolons?

>>11427083
gtfo I already signed him

>>11427083
o i hope; i hope; i really hope; i've got to get out; i need to unfurl these wings; these feathered, beating wings; these flying, winging wings; my god; to breathe a sense of fresh air; to get up there on the patio, the veranda, the stage; to sing, sing, sing; in baritone-tenor; in chris cornell; in a jeff buckley; in a come to me, my lover, my light, my breathfire; my firestar, my crumpling bar; o yes, yes; be mine, my producer; let's go; to new york city, new york; o dearest; and we'll get an apartment together in brooklyn; o i can taste the fall weather

>>11427093
see
>>11427073

>>11427078
>being born a pleb

Not all of us have to focus everything in our life on earning a mediocre livelihood. Must suck being born working class.

>>11427093
why do i use so many semicolons? my god; heavens above; it's one question after another; it's a catechism; it's an interrogation; it's questions abound; why do i use so many semicolons? jesus christ; jove almighty; why doth the sun shine? why so much light? why so much heat? why do i breathe? why do i see, smell, taste, touch? why do we breathe? why do we perspire and respirate? why do i use so many semicolons he asks; good god and gracious creator; why are we here? why are we there? we'll have you a penny catechism here, my god

>>11427098
Seems to me you're trying hard to establish some sort of an "identity" on an anonymous Nicaraguan hammock repair board. You're one small step above tripfags. Begone and take your foul stench elsewhere!

>>11427106
Im not semicolanon I'm his manager, unless your criticism is formed as a sonnet it'll be summarily dismissed

>>11427106
i'm sorry; hi; haven't met you before; what's this? what's this claim? this article? this accusation? this is how i speak, live, breathe, talk, move; these movements of the fingers, this typing, these semicolons, are as natural as waterfalls, as sunshine, as earth-growing plants; as flowers bending heliotropically toward the sun; this is as natural as life, as life, as moving, moving life; this is as free as wings, as birds, as shifting shiny birds; this is flight, this is flight; i couldn't be anything else; i couldn't be anything else; up to, ho!

>>11427100
>it's true
OMG this is ADORABLE. I feel like using emojis right now. A real life English major!

>>11427112
I choose to see you as a mockery of /lit/ and all the vapid tryhards here. With that, you have my blessing. Fly, pretty bird, fly!

>>11427124
congrats on being a humorless fuck

>>11427124
i don't need your blessings; your boons; your godsends; but i thank thee; and have some levity; i'll disperse some levity; take a few semicolons; apply, apply, just try; just try; you'll look so strapping in them, my little one; my little one, you'll look so strapping in those semicolons, all booted up and inhabited; wear that little upper moiety dot as your hat; wear that little curve as the skirt; dress you up all nice in it; show off some skin, some flesh; o, how it makes me go crazy; o dearest; i'll give you something; meet me tonight at the mirus bazaar; round the corner; eccles street; i'll see you then;

-yours, forever until the worlds end
leopold bloom

>>11427109
o prithee, my sweetest; i thank you; thanks for the defense; and the managing; meet me by the bazaar around midnight; i want to see those long semicolon garments i gave you the last; wrapped up in them, shawled in those yashmak garments; and make sure the petticoat is brickquilted with semicolons; wear that dolman; o, and those pretty shoes; let's see; the toques, the broques; o, and a white velours hat

yours forever (until molly finds out);
poldy

Fuck off attention whore

>>11427218
whore; harlot; deem me harlot? deem me bawd? deem me ragamuffin? deem me coy, lascivious, lecherous? lecherous lynx? la belle dame sans merci;

come here with me by the eccles street on mirus bazaar; i have a semicolon overcoat for you; a semicolon waterproof; a gabardine; a zouave's papal uniform; a semicolon for you; put this round your neck as a halter; you sickening sickening sickening sickening SICKENING SCUM GAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

>>11413738
Is this a Asuka reference?

is this it? is this how the thread dies? a quiet end? after the chaos that was heretofore? a quiet end? quietly, in solemnity? no loudness? no jarring discord? no sounds? just a slow slump, slow descent, slow movement toward the bottom? is this it? after the exposition of the semicolon format; the wearing it in; the breaking it in; the moving it in; the bungalowshaped houses; the spreading out of the board; the excursions; the snaps; the hisses; the victory over other anons; the sonnet battles; the climax; the denouement; and now this? a drooping, lugubrious resolution? lethargic, innervated, haggard? really; really? let's pick it up; i want this thread to flash out; to really flash out in a brilliant fiery light; let's go; immortalize me

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;

>>11427665
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Penis XD

my god; have you seen?; they made me my own thread; my own thread; apart from this one; they're getting me into nabokov; we'll try him on; we'll try on his habiliments; we'll put on his little petticoat; his dolman; his little brickquilted dolman; we'll put on his slip; twirl around it; pirouette; we'll try it on; we'll try him; but while this thread lives; keep it up; ho!

>>11428020
o, ho, hum; it's gone; pruned, deleted; tumbled, effaced; razed, destroyed; ho, hum, that lasted a long time, ho; my god; i barely walked in through the door before i was blown back out; i was barely through the door because i got blown back out by some tempestuous gale; ho, that was quick; they're quick; they got rid of my thread, my own little semicolon thread; prithee, ho; well, we'll see about nabokov; he's stirring, i'm okay with it; he's stirring; we'll try

;

>>11427097

I'm in texas rn and my girlfriend is moving to brooklyn in september. Assuming you aren't some elaborate troll you should add me on some medium. Discord, skype, instagram?

>>11428312
hey, this is the semicolon guy. we can definitely do that. i just reset the settings for my discord account. did you want me to add you?; or you me? let's try it out

>>11428368

Græg3#6991 is my discord, brother

>>11428473

the 3 is cubed. if that doesn't work let me know