/lit/ - Literature

Hopefully I will never play video games or masturbate again. I was doing well for about a year but this past month has been completely wasted on video games. I cannot do it in moderation, I can't even look at porn, I can't even reinstall steam or dota or look at CLQ's youtube channel. I can't trust myself to do these things, and I have to trust that I can't trust myself. Hopefully today I will pick up my old reading habit that I lost a month ago, but twice as strong. All I need is to wake up tomorrow and not forgotten all of this, not forget my trust and non-trust and firm resolve to never touch my weewee in a profane way or to never install steam. I just want to wake up and not think about Dota and think "that seems like it would be fun!", and install it and waste the day and have to repeat the whole process. Too bad it's been that way every day for the past month, but today I feel that my resolve is stronger and now that I have written all of this down it's unlikely for me to relapse. I just need to wake up and remember all of this.

>>11374236

>>11374279
what's your pages/hour number

Do i go forward in a rush, trying to conquer a little part of the world and make my life out of it? Or do I keep my head low, use logic and clear thinking as my fist and my sword? The older I get the more I realize our words mean nothing, do nothing. They are stand-ins for deeper forces. I don't know. I just don't know. Dinner is about to be ready. I will keep calm, have a smile on my face. Look at my mother, and my grandfather, and I will nod, I will smile, I will laugh (if appropriate). I die a virgin, I die a liar, I die a clanking pots and pans of a human man. Bigger forces are above me. I go a few days, with the high of a few hundred dollars in my bank account, and a credit bill comes and sweeps me back to the bottom, where I have always been, and I hopefully will never be again.

>>11374279
i dont understand what sort of person posts this and where they come from

I wrote this in the last thread but I'll try again here:
Not sure there is a better thread but I need help finding a book. Written in the 21st century. I think the author was Jewish. Involved trains or at least a railway station and travel a good deal. Please help. OP's pic is what reminded me of it (Shinji sitting alone on a train). Should I start a new thread or something if I don't have much luck? Probably came out sometime after 2010 if I had to guess.

>>11374279
The cringe is all on your side my friend.

>>11374318
The Free World by David Bezmozgis

>>11374279
that wasn't even a cringeworthy post

just go back to /pol/ or wherever this meme is still funny

>>11374205

Academic group assignments have almost entirely convinced me that autocracy by the one with greatest capability is the only viable system of organization when more than two people are working towards the same goal.

>>11374205
what's on my mind is that these threads are more fun when the first picture is a cute girl

>>11374353
sounds like you're on the way to being politically redpilled. come visit >>>/pol/ and look around and see how it makes sense.

I feel happy right now for no reason. Maybe it’s because I drank some coffee a couple hours ago. I feel electricity running through my body, almost like anxiety but pleasant. I’ve been getting better at performing music, though I’m still not that great of a songwriter. Unfortunately, I don’t know anyone who’s interested in writing and performing music so I’ve been doing it alone, but my dream is to play my music live in a room with a band. At this point I don’t even care about success. Right now what I’m doing doesn’t feel real; I have no one to share it with, no one to affirm its existence. Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of. It’s safer to be alone in my room, sheltered from the criticisms of the outside world.

Id give her whats on my mind if you kniw what I mean (I would have sexual intercourse with her because that is what I think about when seeing her dressed & posed provocatively)

>>11374364
>>11374425
I meant this girl but forgot to link the post if you know what I mean ( I was preoccupied with sexual thoughts and feelings which obstructed my rational thought from correctly making use of the post linkage enabled by this image board)

What would constitute as drama? I come from a region surrounded by mountains and wild forrest and have plenty of outdoor skills. I prefer blending into the background and I’m known as an excellent diplomat amongst my friends. Whenever there’s an argument or a quarrel I like to rapidly tear off all my clothes, do a few jumps and cartwheels around the disagreeing parties while gently singing “Boney was a Warrior”. This usually, for some peculiar reason, calms them down completely.

I would like to be treated as a younger sibling and not as a potential sexual partner, which I think will come naturally to you once you get to know me. I look quite young for my age. Buying beer is nearly impossible for me. I get told I do not look over 16, even when presented with my ID. Are loud farts and periods a deal breaker?

>>11374334
No. Don't believe the story itself was centred around Jews. Also remember the book had its own Wikipedia page if that helps.

My belt and car keys rusted while on my person from all the sweat and humidity, I've got a fucking fungal rash I can't shake, showering just pisses me off, and some nerd wants to play le ebin Tim the Toolman on an Azerbaijani fishwheel- making forum.
Is Atacama cold and dry this time of the year? I'd kill for that rn.

>>11374236
MMR?

>>11374428
that parenthetical was really tedious

Thoughts

>>11374428
hahaha no! You want the sex with james joyce

Even the people who are doing worse than me are doing better than me.

I'd love to become an astronomer but school made me hate physics.

>>11374205
Between the booty and coochie is the goochie

Need to quit dicking around and start being more productive. Maybe start by getting off this website. But fuck, where else can you talk /lit/ with people?

>>11374284
>>11374305
>>11374331
>>11374339
lmao get fucking snapped on nerds

GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG

I don't want to learn to play the guitar, but I just want to play it. And I don't want to make money. I want to have it. Also I don't want to meet a nice girl, but I want to have met one. You could say I don't even want to live an intense adventurous life, but I want to have lived it, so I can comfortably enjoy it all in retrospect.

Mister, do you see what I mean? Mister?

>>11375804
Mister sat opposite me in the train, silently. He happened to get off at the same station, took the same subway, to the same street, flat, floor, door as me.

Right now he's standing behind me. Uninterested in the computer, he's staring out the window. Shall ask him who he is and what he's doing in my house?

Wait, he's leaving!

No, he turned on the television.

Oh well, never mind.

Fuck the mods for removing the thread warning about the upcoming tumblr raid.

Is The Culture of Critique no longer considered a book on here?

>>11374654
4k but i dropped to 3.8k and got into lpq

>>11375850
https://letsendthehate.tumblr.com/post/175263473149/anti4channer-if-you-sit-there-and-let-prejudice#notes
yep

>>11376307
On the off-chance this is a real thing how does Tumblr not realize it's just going to end in porn/gore spam like last time

>>11375792
deep

>>11374318
evasion, maybe, but he's not a jew, rather an anarkid

swell book though you should give it a read

The protein packets are just barely edible. At their core nothing but putrid strings of some undisclosed substitute that had wished to be meat, and artificially sweetened flour. <Mush pies> the man was eager to call them, much more excited to take that wretched first bite.

>>11376307

I'm probably around 95% certain that this is a /pol/ false flag.

>https://youtu.be/isrF__5gdII

[Insecurities intensifies]

Why am I even still alive? Just to suffer?

I desperately need to leave my boyfriend, but don't have the strength to do so. I don't manage to take action or make decisions, and I stay in this situation I desperately need to escape from. I can't live like this, but can't change. And the shitty relationship combined with my inability to act and subsequent self-confidence drop makes it all the worse.

i dont think ill ever finish my backlog, it grows so much faster than i can take books off of it after reading them
there are simply too many books. i will die with so much left unread

>>11376834
Sounds like you're suffering from dependency. I've had the same issue. And after the whole break-up and some time, you realize how ridiculous it is you carried on with it

This is all easier said, but you need to find love in yourself and find your own value. I found this in pursuing my interests/working on projects, and doing general self-improvement.

>>11374205
all i want in life is a nice place in the countryside with a nice homely woman, it's a shame that this is completely unrealistic in today's society (unless you save up until you are 60, and even then you have to deal with the crushing reality of being old), where you have to work in a concrete jungle for between 40 to 50 hours a week so you can live in a coffin sized apartment and not die

and cities themselves are wrought with all sorts of other problems, from high crime rates (see the scumbags that go around on mopeds robbing from mothers with their children), loneliness, pollution, being devoid of nature, having no real sense of community or any common goal

if you live in a city your only two options are either misery or becoming a part of the city's vile culture of endless cold consumerism

even education is now a business, where everyone goes to university lest they be filtered out of the majority of jobs when competing against applicants with degrees

i don't think there is any real point in living if you're not enjoying being alive, why live just for the sake of it?

>>11376428
Found the novel I was looking for but I'll add this to my backlog.

Exactly one year ago I was cucked. The following months were the darkest of my life, every day I felt lost in despair and hopelessness. I came pretty close to killing myself at times. I thought it was over, that I'd never be happy again.

Today is sunny and warm, I have my window open and a light breeze is carrying in the smell of flowers. The memories of the past that once hounded me every minute of the day don't bother me anymore. My depression had receded into mild pessimism. I'm enjoying working on my hobbies again. I have a budding relationship with a cute girl I met a few weeks ago. Right now I'm listening to Pet Sounds before getting ready to head for the gym. Life is good.

It can get better lads, no matter how bad it may seem. Don't give up.

>>11375845
Wait.
This is good.
Please, continue the story.

Political correctness makes me feel as if some bastard bought up all the chewing gum from a local store and chewed it up; where his only mission, was then to spit it out and smother me in it. At the same time as all this was happening, a bunch of brainwashed cry babies are carrassing Marx's corpes like a child would a stuffed animal.

>>11374205
being a girl on 4chan is fucking exhausting, and listening to denizens of /lit/ post nothing but about how much they self-suck is pretty boring t b h.
I spend 99% time on /lit/ shitposting, and daydreaming about masturbating but not actually masturbating.

Also, my fucking internet disconnects every 15 minutes and it's pretty annoying.

>>11375845
shit dude, yeah keep going.

Amanda Bynes deserved much better.

>>11375675
same.

>>11376953
desu I couldn't tell you how often I fantasize/daydream about my farm in rural Ireland with my comfy wife.

>>11376953
>>11378922
fuck, same, except I want to live in a cabin in the woods somewhere, where I can wander into town every few months.

>>11378889
>complains about self-sucking with a self-licking post

>>11376953
this but as a 19th century officer in the Napoleonic Wars

i have a lot of ideas of stuff i want to do but never act on them because i don't have any real motivation or i'm afraid they won't be perfect like i need them to be

>>11376953
The city is only as lonely as you make it. I agree that 90% of the people there are consumerist bugmen but there are some cool ones out there.

>>11378269
Holy shit this is moving. Good luck anon! Tell us more about your story?

Niggas iffy, uh, blicky got the stiffy, uh

You shouldn't eat pork in times of peace and meditation, most animals killed egregiously for that matter.
I ate pork today and became irritable for no reason for the rest of the day, I examined why when I got really frustrated over a minor inconvenience and it had to be the pork.
I wonder why chicken doesn't have such an effect on me
I think I'll stick to fish

Good thread about a political philosophy text got destroyed.

Ughh out out.

Apparently we aren't supposed to share this but tumblr is coming on the 4th of July.

>>11374205
I felt like absolute shit for most of the day but I went and took a walk down to the grocery store and picked up a few things then sat under a street light and read for a while and felt much better when I came home. I got a solid chunk of writing and editorial work done and now I'm having a nice cup of tea and then I'll go to bed.

>>11380811
What did you read? What sort editorial work do you do? What are you writing about? I can't sleep so I might have something myself.

The pain.

>>11380852
I was reading "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" by Raymond Carver. He's been on my backlog for a while and I'm working on a family drama novella so I figured it was an appropriate time for it. I'm not involved in the industry in any fashion, I was editing my own work. I tend to go through particular work modes while working on my own projects. When I'm all fresh and alert I focus on pure writing, when my energy starts to flag a bit then I switch to all the menial editing that's necessary but not the most fun or exciting, and then when my brain's spent I have a cup of tea and end my session. Always a good way to top off the night. Or morning, whatever time it is.

https://mynoise.net/ is good if you want some background noise to help slow your brain down a bit to help you sleep or for suppressing noise when you're writing. There's plenty more if you click the "Show All" button and you can select by different sound categories or purposes.

>>11380912
Nice. What teas do you enjoy?

>>11380926
Mostly greens. I like genmaicha in particular, but I was able to get a good deal on some gunpowder so I've been drinking a bunch of that lately. I also recently picked up a spearmint/lavender herbal blend that's nice for the evenings. That said, I'm off to bed. Hope you can get some rest yourself. I know well the hells of sleeplessness.

>>11374205
Jean de phalanges shat out a baby . it asnt his, turns out hes actually a oman. possibaly even gay. think manly thoughts.

>>11374492
Yes, 13° C right now with no rain yet (normally only rain 2 days per year here)

>>11380961
after think ing manly thoughts. he decided he asnt gay. doubt besets Jean, and he sets his eye upon anything ith boobs. unfortune manboobs exisst, and so a foray into the topics of masculnity and pua, and being sent into a prison for some utterly shameful reason, out he pops, stark raving naked but ripped. He enters the NSA, here he monitors others like him eventually forming a group of odd balls that engineer embarrsing situations on unsuspecting minorities, but ith high iq or hatever, in an effort to save the earth from being trashed

>>11380985
I demand monetary compensation, if this ever turns into a screenplay, book, poem etc.

>>11380944
Thanks, sorry I missed you but maybe we'll meet in the morning. Black tea myself. Hard to find a good mint here. Was also going to ask, what noises do you recommend? I'm going to give that site a try.

Sitting with his hands in his lap, he began to silently tense the muscles in his face.
This extends down to his neck, but no further.
His head slowly moves forward as far as possible, while keeping his torso upright.
Veins and tendons begin to stand out in his neck, like ropes wrapped around a tree trunk.
First his cheeks become flushed, then it radiates outwards.
His mouth opens in a wide, clenched grimace.
Still silent.
A vein on his forehead strains outward, as though it were a giant scar.
His eyebrows
His face is completely red by now.
The cracking of enamel can be heard as his teeth shift.
A distant sound like rusted metal being scraped and shifted can be heard.
The vein ruptures and blood runs down his face and into his eyes.
His vision doesn't change.
More small ruptures being to appear along his jaw.
More along his forehead.
Soon there are a dozen small tears along his face weeping blood.
An almost linen tearing sound builds up and his face juts forward.
There are deep horizontal tears all along his face, as though he were turning himself into a mummy.
The flow is unimaginably heavy, details of his face are now hidden by the dark waterfall.
His nose compresses as cartilage battles skin. It breaks interally, creating what looks like a small lumpy bag.
His scalp has torn all along, silently scalping himself.
All at once it happens, the peak of his bloodthirsty war upon his face.
Red makes way for white as his skull bursts forth, his nosebag ripping down and to the side like a shocked monocle.
His remaining skin sags at the back like a hood, while that at the front flops down as a tattered tucked-in napkin.
The eyes stare out, still completely lucid and in place. Bloodshot.
His hands remain in the stew now formed on his lap.
From the ruined gaping hole of bone and sodden gore, a gurgling roar emerges.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>11374205
Oh I don't know I guess about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not? What's so great about living? Depression, anxiety. Gonorrhea more often than not. I... I don't know if there's an afterlife. But who cares? Nothingness couldn't be worse than this meaningless march through my empty days.

>>11376834
ehehehaaaayyyy baby girl

Why is America's upper middle class so offensive?

They take all the middlebrow lack of taste of the lower classes, and combine them with the arrogance of a thousand year old aristocracy. It's like eating a piece of shit that is somehow also sickly sweet. It's horrible on all levels.

Why can't they learn to act with dignity, like other upper classes? Why is their #1 hobby giving their spoiled brat kids more gadgets and vacations? Why do they send them to expensive private high schools that still turn them into know-nothing retards? Don't they know they are turning these children into cunts?

>>11376307
>1-800lesbian
if i dial that number will they send me lesbians?

>tfw no hip young friends with drugs to help me be learn to be happy

>>11381348

>America

there's the problem

>tfw good looking but no scoial skills
its the worst type of feel to know you're so close but will never make it. i just want a qt gf to read with

>>11374205

suck it and see, bitch
suck it and see
does it tase like golden wonder?
or does it taste like a mars bar?
gobble dat shit down
and see
i want to see a walrus eating a sandwich
aight

>tfw you at age 20 just realized that "disambiguation" is "dis"-"ambiguation" as in "ambiguity"
I legitimately thought it was something like "disambogtion" until ten minutes ago. I've never encountered it other than on wikipedia pages and always skimmed over it.

>>11381009
No worries. I prefer the Noise Blockers in general because my neighbours are shits and keep their TV blaring all night. Primeval Forest, Rain on a Tent, and Meadow Land are the ones I visit most frequently. I recommend using the Animate feature, which periodically changes the levels of certain threads of the audio, because it gives a more dynamic, natural sounding experience.

>>11381348
Because the "middle class" is a bourgeois meme to fracture the workers' unity.

>>11380522
Really? Wish they'd stick to /pol/. Too bad they're too retarded to distinguish /pol/ from the rest of the site. But then again, so is /pol/.
Whatever. It might be funny. In any case, there has never been a successful "raid" on this site in the history of "raids", so who cares? It's like pissing in an ocean of piss and thinking you've accomplished something. I wonder how soon they'll realize

>>11376953
I remember how I felt when arriving at the city after spending summer out in the country. The only thought i had was "This is just complete shit." I
really felt like Adam, exiled from the garden of Eden to this ugly, noisy, overpopulated, unclean and overheated hell. When I entered my apartment, I swear I literally felt the weight of 20 stories of the building above me pressing me down. I had an claustrophobic attack. It took me couple of days to adapt.

how do i get the motivation to read
im sitting with a book in front of me but i just cant fucking bring myself to open it

>>11374205
Just read the first couple of chapters of Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I have previously read about two thirds of Ulysses, and then I put it down one day and never went back. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, I did find it mostly engaging but it is a real effort. Portrait is a lot more accessible and I think once I finish reading it, I will give Ulysses another try.

I want to go to sleep, but life just keeps forcing me to go to places

>>11381720
Yeah. I would post the images of them stating this but a. The threads get banned so quickly and b. posting it would probably get me a temporary ban as well. I agree it will likely be amusing. I'm more interested in seeing the counter-attack that comes out of this.

>>11378889
>and daydreaming about masturbating but not actually masturbating.
why not?

yesterday i had sex and came earlier, this is the second time it happens, im losing my sense of virility and masculinity

>>11382006
Are there any books you're excited or particularly interested in reading? Try having a go at one of those instead. If you're apathetic about everything, then consider starting with an easy-mode book so as not to discourage yourself.

>kids are playing with a football in the street
>tell them to play away from the cars, theyve hit them with the ball accidentally before
>they dont listen and deliberately kick the ball nearer to them now
>parents are scum benefit thieves with no cars so they dont care

wat do

>>11383103
Rape and kill them.

>>11382006
you don’t need motivation, you just do it. even though you dot want to you’ll still feel a sense of accomplishment afterwards and that feeling will help you start to build up motivation

>>11383103
grab a shoe and chase them

>>11383103
Cry more about a tiny scuff on your shitty car, naturally

>>11383103
Chase them with your car while screaming VROOM VROOM.

>>11374205
can anyone remake this picture such that the white border is removed and GUCCI is in its entirety inside the new picture

>>11382561
kinda boring and really slimy. I wish there was a button I could push, so I could just go on with my day.

>>11378886
Think about what you're saying and reconsider who's braindead and who's a crybaby

>>11383294
its called the prostate

>>11383303
women don't have prostates

>>11383308
it's called the clitoris

>>11383311
still too slimy, also, not a button. work on your technique, anon

>>11383308
It's a different kind of "woman" anon ;)

>>11383322
could try drugs

>mfw fighting off the urge to by books en masse
i normally just buy a book after i finish the one im currently reading but im tempted to just by like a dozen, or two dozen. my autistic irrational mind keeps telling me "but what if suddenly tomorrow it will be impossible to buy them" aaaahhhhhh

I want to move to a Scandinavian country but I would also like to keep my firearms. That sounds disgustingly American but it's true. They're not AR15s or anything. Just milsurp rifles (CG 1896 and an Enfield) that I like shooting once in awhile and having around because I like history. Would those be a problem? I would definitely register in whatever I needed to like a shooting club or something. I don't hunt and I don't want to kill anything. Not even animals.

Wondering if I should try gain 10-15kg of fat just for fun. See how much I'd have to eat, what it feels like, and then lose it. Is this a good idea? My BMI rn is 18.9.

Appeared or conjured? Or manifested. Man, it's infested! Cool, cat. At least two lines conjure a square a cubic representation of chaos. Charles Lindbergh had to know the arc tangent in relation to his |existence to travel to traverse to trowel in the pits in the trenches in the mud in the shit. Am (Brr!) flavored text consumed like a honey-marmalade syrup confection convection oven. Chestnut or flames discern not the consistency of the beverage but the nature-origin. Traveled from forest to plate from mouth to arse to shitter to plate to oyster back to forest again. Of leaves off leaves and treesmell and walnut. Hypogracalificmagicsticityful existence|. L'existénce! Résistance d'existence. Buglike frogeyes darted. Pondscum usurped by tadpole maneuver. And a block brickladen curse upon his scarred rubber farm animal monster arm. Ripped open and teared and tear-ed the coins out of packed medicine cubes. Density increased as rectal worm folded office papers. Joanna and Joline walked in on the scene. D'scene unfolded with glass reflectors play-seed over d'eyes. Dyes of yellow and orange and burnett played over the joyful firedance.

>>11383450
bad idea

>>11383463
Why bad idea? I wouldn't be overweight and I'd still get a lot of exercise.

>>11383472
idk i just don't see the point unless you're trying to build muscle and not fat

>>11383495
Because it'd be a fun challenge. I'd know what it's like to be chubby, how much I'd have to eat, and by losing it all I'll prove I'm in control of my own body.

Suffering is all there is to gain in life, what is all this waiting for? I already know how this will end, I'm not afraid to die, it's every breath that comes before it that frightens me.

>>11383536
You run the risk of getting stretchmarks, especially if you gain it fast, which are permanent and ugly.

>>11383684
You have a lot of thinking to do

>>11374205
Just lost 10 pages of my writings. Worst part is it was a journal-type thing so I can't remember fuck all of what was deleted. Honestly feel like shit and am completely demotivated, that stuff meant so much to me and I fucked it.

>>11383281
selfbump

>>11383766
It was meant to happen

One day i'll be an old man and everything i'm doing currently will just be a distant memory. My mother's face as it looks now, the jokes my friends make, my pet cats, all of it will be gone.
I don't particularly want to live with this notion, when my parents pass I'll kill myself

>>11384052
>when my parents pass I'll kill myself
I have this idea too.

I wonder if I'm capable of a romantic relationship
the last one ended when I realized I couldn't find anything to like about her personality
am I autistic

>>11374205
>tfw finally hitting it off with attractive coworker
>somehow not a sperg for the first time in my life
>she's a vegan and the subject of cheese comes up
>for some reason feel the need to shit on American cheese for being inferior to the real thing
>"yeah cheese is pretty unhealthy, especially the kind we have over here"
>what do you mean "over here"
>she gets pissed at me for acting superior and faux cultured over fucking cheese
>make up some autistic excuse about having European parents
Fuck you guys for enabling my dickish, autistic behaviour. how do I reverse the pseud pill?

>>11374205
Whenever I have random flashbacks to time with friends to whom I no longer speak, to my ex, to any bittersweet memory, I believe it’s just my brain doing some quiet memory alteration/erasing inthe background. The only reason I become aware of it is that the focus of my conciousness was wandering aimlessly and did the last re-play by a mere chance.

i'm deeply depressed but no longer suicidal, which is nice; i'm ok with my relationships and have a great support system now, having some troubles with a girl i'm seeing who i love and seems to love me but she's uneasy about commitment, and seems to always have been. in any case, more than could've been said for myself a year ago, wherein my support structures nonexistent and my depression only stimulated by a since-gone abusive relationship.

i want to be politically active, but it feels as if my activism reaches little beyond social media activism. i write to my senators regularly but it feels so meaningless.

in all, i'd give life right now an ok 7/10. a lot better than it's been in the past, still some rough patches, but i know they'll pass. i'm done musing now, so i'll offer up some advice for any anons in here whose morale is low -- you'll hear it a lot, and it'll sound like bullshit every time, but shit gets better. every day you wake up, something'll get a little bit better. the hard part is just waking up every day.

>>11384052
>when my parents pass I'll kill myself

Shit nigga I'm not even waiting that long

My faith in God is challenged not by Intercourse, but by self-indulgence - masterbation wherein all fantasy and desires are made real and accessible for a brief moment.

The conundrum is that Sex is easy to refuse but Masterbation is not and creeps in at any moment of weakness; it feeds off of hopeless, blindless and spiritual malady and is a greater test than anything I have ever known.

>>11384206
What you said is true though our shit is disgusting

>>11384378
If you have such trouble with it, just block/deny the things that trigger the urges. Literally install website blockers. Also I would suggest avoiding 4chan (ironic as it is to hear this advice here). At the very least stay on blue boards but even that doesn't help as retards will post porn here as well.

I'm thinking about how horrible of a person i am right now
I'm irresponsible, lazy, too skinny, and lack any motivation

>>11384052
It won't all be gone. We shall all rejoice in His kingdom.

>>11384497
This, but fat.

>>11384268
Politically active in what way?

I took a year off university to deal with what I believe is MDD with symptoms of apathy and anhedonia, but the relative who promised to provide funds for doctor's visits has now reneged and delayed the next appointment indefinitely, and I am stuck on phase 1 of a program that does not work until phase 2. It is difficult to be angry at a person providing for you, yet still I am incredibly bitter about this, since apart from some changes in mindset I will return with no improvements at all.

Yeah, that's where I am now. I could get pessimistic about it and make some depressing statement about life right now, but the truth is I'm just unlucky. Maybe someday it'll be better.

>thinking about how horrible of a person i am right now
yeah, this is a bitch of a problem. If I kill myself I'm immoral. If I consciously change my behavior to be more kind I'm self serving and sociopathic. If I wallow in pity I'm being self centered. Maybe the solution is to stop thinking about the object of self entirely but I can't figure out how since it seems somewhat biologically hardwired. why is being a good person so fucking difficult

>>11384787
meant for
>>11384497

Bury me in an empty coffin
Feed my flesh to the vultures
Burn all my possessions
And forget that I ever existed
I'll take comfort in the cessation

>>11384787
>If I kill myself I'm immoral
y tho

I feel like shit - I haven't in a long time. I'm close to crying. My body feels cold. I've been lying here for four days, snuggled into my blanket. This is what a flu does to you. I to focus on the nice tree right outside my window, but long curtains obscure my view. I have to sneeze. My throat pain just gets worse. "FUCK", I scream into the room. Then silence. A car drives by. I rise to prepare a cup of tea. I guess this will last a few more days.

why are people so bothered by silence, they try to force conversation at all times

Touhou is the highest form of art

>>11383281
pls someone

SCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

>mfw three hot as fuck girls asked to pet my dog and then started talking to me
i had huge headphones in specifically so someone wouldnt try and talk to me i cant deal with people reeeee

>>11374205
I asked for hope,all I gain was disdain. Standing on the cold edge of the world. I let go.

where the fuck is my book amazon, give it to me you gold hoarding jews

>>11386439
What would be the literally equivalent of Tekashi? Nabokov?

>>11386587
ovid

I feel like everyone in my family is low IQ except for my father, who was an adopted hapa

The 3rd stranger in as many weeks asked me if I was a model several hours ago. I'm too paranoid to ever post my face on /lit because I know/am friends with at least half a dozen people who browse it. Feels good though.

Pride is my worst enemy, yet i despise any sign of pride of others thanks to my own pride, i need to find a way to remove the worst and most debilitating sin from myself before it’s too late

>>11386715
some old lady asked if i was a model the other day, then she told me that i should audition for roles in tv because apparently i have really nice hair and its "very valuable"

>>11386465
Walking a dog is basically asking people to talk to you though

>>11386690
Why? Genuine question my anon.

>>11386790
wtf i hate walking dogs now

>>11386810
>Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.

Going to the army in a week and a half boys. Conscription is great, why doesn't your country have it?

>>11378942
same

>>11386865
You think he has no worries. He has made himself a hunted beast in 99.9% of the world, everywhere outside his own bubble. I can tell you at least his tattoos forbid him from having a conversation with practically anyone who is not in the music scene—granted they may be the only people he is interested in talking to, but how narrow and limiting.

>>11387164
not only are you wrong but you're also a gay faggot

I feel like going hikikomori.

>>11383103
move to a higher income area if you're such a rich boi smartypants materialist faggot

>>11375717
I was convinced this was a line out of biggies hypnotize but it is just similar to one
>>11375804
where is this from? I always feel like that and it makes me feel guilty about dismissing those neolib everyone can make it ideals because maybe I could make it but lack the certain umpff

i only read 10 pages today, im never gonna make it

I want to be famous, but the credible kind of famous
I want to be famous for achieving something amazing and being talked about in universities and written down in books, not just famous for having my face shoved into a camera. I don't even need money, just the cementing of history

>>11387586
fuck dude. I used to hit 100+ pages daily, but nowadays it's usually maybe 10, and i may pick it up once and a while and hit 100.

Anyone remember what the counterpart process of emanation in neoplatonism is called? I forget the word and can't find it online.

>>11374205
>Talking with someone you know in a metaphorical way is an act of manipulation. You don't directly put ideas or compliments in their heads, instead, by being vague and somewhat sounding intelligent, you force them to think of their own explanation. This can turn to being something either positive/negative depending on you confirming or explaining the "true" meaning behind your silly philosophy

I've come to the conclusion that I love living the way I do. I'm bitter, I'm angry, I'm alone, but I wouldn't fucking trade it for anything. I was made for this life and it's my duty to do it well. Fuck changing, fuck changing myself, and fuck not being judgemental. If anything I want to be more judgemental and bitter. see how far I can take it. I can be normal in my next life.

>>11384787
Don't think, feel. What are your instincts telling you?

at one point in evolution the first animal able to kill others was born, and probably spread across earth killing every creature in sight

I want to weep for the ideas and the ideals are being displayed through the writings on the walls and yet it is all they can be; simply writings. The push for revolution the push for the greater good has been met with failure and mockery.

>>11388194
amor fati, mein frater

15 minutes till new music on apple music, better be something slammin

>Coke user from age 15 to 20

>Every girl I fell for broke my heart or fucked my friends

>Had criminal friends from chopshop owners, to pissant college pot heads and moved around so much I never kept any of the same group for company more than a year

>Sobered up (mostly) and wrote a novel

Life to me was insipid and without value when I became an adult. There was no good reason for this as my parents were well to do and I had the privilege of trotting the globe at a considerably young age. Reflecting back on it, I was caught up in the idea of a novel lifestyle so much that I was unable to see how interesting my life actually was, that I hopelessly tried to escape from it to add some flavor with a little drugs and pussy. I got bored easily and that boredom landed me into some seriously deep shit. Out of the dust, I pulled myself together thanks to literature; without the written word I'm sure I'd be dead, and even though all of my favorite authors are either dead or on their way, I am indebted to them for keeping me alive when I felt so abandoned, dejected, and unwanted because of stupid decisions I'd made. I'm hammered right now but I want everyone to know, after hitting rockbottom, a man can only go up and failing won't be scary because you've already been ther, or some shit

>>11374205
I've discovered that I'm a hikikomori after having finished watching Welcome to the NHK. Great series, but I began to wonder how much of it was alike to my own life. After having realized how many friends I've lost to uncontrollable circumstances, and the fact that I've only ever had one girlfriend in my life that lasted more than a week.... and haven't gotten laid in over 3 years, I'm starting to get pretty lonely and discouraged. I only leave my room for food and work.

I try to stick to /fit/ and /ck/ where I get encouragement and motivation, and on the other side I get to share my interests, but it's never enough.

All I do is play Xbox all day and watch anime. I'm relatively fit, and I'm not as awkward as one might think. I have a job working 20 hours a week, and I'll be going back to college this Fall for my second year at uni (most likely). I still feel like I accomplish nothing.
I hardly read enough to even be here. I just drop by once in a while to gather what 'recommended' pics I can and see what you guys are up to.

I just want to be alone. I would trade in everything to just be alone and never have to worry about playing the social drama game of life, falling into stress and depression over bills and relationships. I just want to do what I want and get paid for it. Unfortunately, and according to /k/ and every other source I've found, that means carrying around a gun and eating dirt for shit pay I can't even spend. i don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've lost sight of what I've wanted out of life, and I'm lonelier than ever, constantly thinking of her, and trying not to regret the things I can't change but that have cause me the greatest pain in my life. It's even harder admitting how typical my hardships have become at this point.
My at my worst isn't even that uncommon.

>>11389063
Anthony Brodain

so what's the deal with jarrod ramos? someone give me a quick run down, i don't wanna go in /pol/ even tho i know they probably have his whole life story by now, was he incel? was he supreme gentlemen?

>>11389063
There’s nothing worse, and I’ll post this publicly because you talk about it who the fuck knows where anyway, than having retards dig through your life and take it apart so they can monetize it, especially while they patronize and degrade you and feel deep down, because of their status, that you should be grateful they they shafted you. They won’t do air their secrets, their problems, or other peoples’, especially not their friends, but they expect you to be a man about it. There isn’t anything more retarded. That’s like a southern plantation owner degrading you for the color of your skin and demanding you conform, whipping you for wanting freedom and claiming a right to your body. No thanks you fucking rapists. I hope you get this message, all of you. It’s been several years and you’re nothing but money grubbing pussies. I’m a meme and you joke about me because it’s popular. That’s why you won’t shut the fuck up about it and that’s why you fucking rapists won’t fuck off. I hope you and your children get raped you fucking degenerates.

Why is it so hard to write this stupid ass book? I just can't think of what to write to lead up to certain segments that i have planed. It's like massive gaps in a road
>>11389091
You could try and take a break from video games. I play on the xbox too but for the summer i unplug the thing and force myself to not grab it again. It has helped me read more but i need to stop procrastinating on other things too

>>11374236
>All I need is to wake up tomorrow and not forgotten all of this
>I just need to wake up and remember all of this.

It saddens me how terribly submissive you are to your impulses.

>>11387647
niggers

>>11389121
All I play is TES Skyrim.
Thanks for responding. I hope your book turns out well. I'm gonna buy some donuts and look for the next anime series to binge. Take care, Anon.

>>11389040
that new coltrane, not much else of note, new gorillaz if you're into corny shit

>>11389040
new gnr compilation fire af

Is there any legislative reason why the police in America can't just round up self-described Marxists and other such political revolutionaries and try them all for being political dissidents? I mean other than political posturing and general incompetence.
If someone were going online everyday and posting "I want to kill every kaffir in the White House" they'd at least be on a fucking watchlist, and if the FBI weren't incompetent they'd slap that guy with some kind of mark that would turn up on background checks, etc.
So is there any reason why the same thing can't be done to people publicly espousing openly dissident political positions?
I don't see how this could be considered a free speech issue, since nobody's actually preventing anyone from speaking, but they are making people accountable for what they say in the private sector, and not by random biased mob justice like what happens everyday on Twitter. I can see measures like this turning into an Amendment or some kind of SCOTUS decision in the coming years.

And I give Marxists as an example, but really anyone espousing a seditious political viewpoint - Neo-Nazism, Islam Extremism, etc, could be tagged under this system. At worst it's just solidifying and demanding accountability for a process that certainly already exists on a few levels.

I'm tired of women, but I think in more of a essence I'm just not sure of who I am anymore. Over the past several months since my girlfriend left me, I've tried to rehabilitate myself into a new person. That hasn't been successful, and I don't know what to do anymore. I keep telling myself after college I want to travel and just get away from it all but really I have no fucking idea. I don't want to kill myself, I'm enjoying reading, but I think after college I'm going to move to someplace like the cook islands, Germany, or Japan because I really don't know.

>>11389063
damn I wish I could travel the world
why would you throw that away for shitty drugs and pussy?

>>11389539
You might not hear about it as much, but they do monitor left wing radicals. For example the German Communist Party (Die Linke) is classified as an organization that might pose a threath to the constitutional order.

>>11383766
Read more stoic writings
If you don't remember what was lost, then nothing was really lost

I'm thinking of getting back into chess as a way to fight the brain fog. It would be interesting to see if it causes some kind of soft cap on ratings.

>>11389728
I sound like a broken record in these threads, but honestly, familiarize yourself with the core Buddhist teachings and you'll find a lot less pressure centered around the concept of self. It's like taking a step back and understanding your current situation as a product of past circumstances, and all you need to do is plant the seeds for future contentment and accepting whatever happens. The difficult part about giving advice is that all of that probably just sounds like platitudes to you, since I can't adequately convey all of the things that lead to my current peace of mind, but I'd be glad to elaborate if it might help. I still think a lot about moving too, by the way. Probably not to Japan though, you couldn't really fit in.

>>11389813
Stop trying to preach. You don't need Buddhism for a realization like that. Any basic foundation on philosophy and self reflection will lead to the same result. You don't specifically need Buddhism.

>>11389908
Nor did I say Buddhism was necessary. You can find that same sense of fulfillment from any set of beliefs, but I'd say your best bet is anything with a long history of commentary so you've got an answer for any issues that come up. I only wrote Buddhism because that's what worked for me. But I suppose people are tired of hearing that in these threads, so I'll knock it off.

ten gallon hats and thick sterling smattered boots break down the door and she screams out no please, a child taken and held by three soldiers from the us military, taken and held down and she is taken by them, and they take her every orifice in front of her parents, and they kill her parents and they kill her
and the president rails against professional athletes and the white people rally around and yell at each other the same two words and get fat on their words and love their flag

>>11388908
frater
ˈfreJtə/Submit
noun historical
the dining room or refectory of a monastery.

I'm 27 and still enjoy young adult or even children books like RedWall and, just recently, The Graveyard Book.
Am I an uncultured swine?

>>11389954
maybe its your destiny to write one

>>11389992
Wow, that was genuinely nice and slightly lifted my spirits.
I've actually tried a couple times, but I never end up liking my stories after I'm already, like, halfway in. It's like I get an idea and think it's great, but once I've written a hundred pages, I look back and think, "No one would read this," and I lose all motivation to continue.

>read some of a book
>want to read more
>but afraid of reading too much and getting burned out and then not wanting to read later

>>11383463
I wish I had a rectal worm that did all the paperwork I needed to get done for me.

>>11386078
They've gotten used to constant stimulation.

>>11390006
There's a market for everything.

>>11389934
FUCK DRUMPF!!!!111one

James Joyce

why are kids so fucking loud
im trying to read but there is a horde of children filling up a swimming pool just outside my window and they wont stop screeching like theyre being murdered

dude i was just fappin it to a tranny that looks like alexandria ocasio-cortez and i fucking nutted so hard, i was just doin a casual hands down my pants porno browsing but i started gettin carried away and passed the point of no return had to jump up with my dick in my hand and find a place to cum, that was so fucking hot

Im so fucking tired all day and my mind is crushed. I also cant stop thinking about some girl that flaked.

>>11390467
search for "renata ribeiro trans" if u wanna peep it

>>11390467
lmao my roommate left his gf in his room when he went to work, just as i sat down to do the post fap write-up she got up and went to the bathroom lmao fuck it faplife

>>11374205
I wish I could write.

i love being a slacker man, some overachieving asian fucker the other day axed me why i don't have a fulltime job since i "seem smart n shit": i was like lol and go to an office 40+ a week? what for? i guess if i was a normie who had to blow money on socializing i would have to, but dude i wake up, read all the morning papers with a monster energy, have a fap, listen to an audiobook, take a nap, lol

WHY CANT I STOP PROCRASTINATING
JUST READ YOU FAGGOT, READ
AHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>11390527
>>11390467
kys

graviosa
gravioli
PRAISE ANUBIS

People don't change, they are changed.

>>11390758
stay mad, nerd

I want a writing program that will make editing my novels easier.

>>11390974
but if people are changed that means people change

>Feel like I finally am getting out of depression and sorting my life out
>Some bullshit happens that turns all my plans and happiness to dust
>Spend a couple of weeks feeling like pure shit
>Repeat
How do I stop this?

I feel like today's soldiers are just a bunch of fucking barbarians. I had talked to a ww2 vet and his only reason for joining was because he wanted to protect his country and how he never enjoyed killing people but did because it was necessary. Then i talked to a marine from afghanistan and he basically had a boner for murder. He just wanted to kill the enemy for revenge for 9/11, and he said he enjoyed every kill.
Is it right to have a bunch of sociopaths on the front lines? They just crave blood whether it belongs to the enemy or not

>>11391526
i knew an air force guy who would always brag about how many people he killed with his jet, it was insane. he said he would rewatch videos of him doing it
maybe its at least an outlet that stops them from becoming serial killers?

>>11391526
Well since there are no major conflicts any more we only employ professional soldiers, those who choice is military life. Professional soldiers (ex: mercenaries) throughout history have generally been barbaric.

>>11376899
Relatable.

How would Royal Assassin have played out if Fitz was given permission not to hurt/kill Regal, but just to actively monitor him and to act on anything suspicious going on in the Duchies?

>>11391954
Dammit, how do spoilers work?

>>11383439
You can get a huntinglicence here and keep your guns, if they follow legislation. So no actual hunting, though there there are some tests you have to pass.

I'm not feeling well. My stomach is acting up, and even though it's probably because I ate like shit today, I know there is another reason why overwhelming nausea is making me feel like I'm going to throw up any moment as I sit in the corner of this arcade bar while my friends are having fun playing.
I'm not good with girls. If I like someone, I usually don't attempt anything, and barely (and awkwardly) talk to them, but never get to know them, and of course never ask them out. Maybe I'm afraid of rejection, maybe I'm just shy.
There is this one girl in my group of friends though. A couple of years back I met her through a common friend and we clicked instantly. I just knew she found me attractive, and we flirted a bit for a while. Maybe I was too passive and she lost interest, or maybe someone else took her attention away; either way she grew colder towards me as I got terribly attached to her.
Fast forward two years, to the floor of the bar again. I'm not feeling well because today I will fail to tell this girl my feelings for the hundredth time, because I know I don't have the courage to move this situation forwards whatever its outcome might be.
And the elephant in the room keeps getting bigger.

>>11376899
this is unironically the greatest argument for only reading the classics/western canon

>>11389750
Sure, but why are there not official, publically available records of individuals linked to such groups? For example, why doesn't that go on your criminal record as a 'may be a threat' mark? Why can openly seditious Marxists still hold federal positions and seek public office? If an open Islamic Extremist were to run for Congress there'd be an FBI investigation up his ass in minutes.

I am alone most of the time. It's not a cry for help so much as it is an observation, so don't feel bad. If you're reading this you probably spend a lot of time on 4chan too. It's nice to be able to come up with a funny retort or post a "no u" once in a while, but it all just feels so impersonal, doesnt it? Anything remotely resembling conversation is usually just one off responses supplementing information or arguing a point. I don't know, maybe that's the way it should be, and will remain. Since I'm talking to you now though, I just want to say thanks for being one of those people who takes the time to read these things, have a good night my dude.

>>11376899
I've had to learn to stop probing out into books/topics that are popular but that I have no formal interest in.

>>11392713
Have a good one senpai
(Fuck, this post relates to your point)

>>11392184
because the laughable social ideals of the marxists of the 60s are now the commonplace opinions of the majority. Marxism survived in the west, but in its Gramscian form.

>>11392713
Really? Sometimes you can have a small conversation with people, or what else do anons in generals do? Have a good night, anon.

wanna get some cheap science/literature books in brazil but everything is expensive here and god left our tax system unfinished

I suspect living a normal life is unfulfilling, but I have no proof therefore I have committed to giving it my best shot. Like crafting a normal public persona (in an authentic way, not manipulative) is a great art form that makes the mundane really exciting. I fantasize about having a successful career, and using that as leverage to get into politics. I'd be like Richard Nixon, not a natural politician by disposition, but successful through sheer will. Maybe try to appeal to democrats on a covert eugenics platform, or just a more extreme republican Trumpian. Populism is the future, it's possible to frame technocrat policies in this form. I want to overcome the self, but religion in not compelling to me, so politics is everything. If this doesn't work out, then I will submit to the tried and true impulse to find purpose in raising a family and be the benevolent philosopher king of my little tribe.

>>11392877
>god left our tax system unfinished
Legitimately funny anon

>boot up for some friday night shitposting
>thread from this morning (18 hours ago) still up, only has 4 new posters

board is dead, netcraft confirms it

>>11392847
that's not a legislative reason. I understand what you're saying, but what I'm asking is what's preventing the meteoric rise of conservatism in America from integrating such a policy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9_1ZrskfWo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6Xo6W1BZ2M

Is there any kind of media or sociological theory to account for the utterly bizarre lengths that subcultures will take their own aesthetics? Especially on the Internet.

I look at stuff like this and it might as well be made in a different galaxy for all I understand about its aesthetics.

I never really know how to summarize my thoughts. It's not like there's any way to directly map them to words. The biggest problem with applying these internal semantics to any external syntax is losing a great deal of nuance and context. Language takes up space and time – if I can't put together words that efficiently convey something profound, then who the fuck cares? But there's nothing else I can do. To be fair, it gets easier once I start typing. It's kind of like learning to walk: just put one word in front of another until you get somewhere.
Graduating college was supposed to be a panacea. All my hard work, everything I've suffered through, was for the purpose of getting out of school a year early. May was my light at the end of the tunnel. Once I got there, nothing changed. I am still angry and bitter. Angry at my family, angry at Him, and angry at myself for being so damn angry.
My phone just buzzed, telling me that I have less than $100 in my bank account. In a month I start a six figure job. But what good is moving to the city going to do me if I'm still going to be the same person that I always have been? I'm losing any hopes of my personality being mutable.

>>11393173
Another example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkS3FHTcf7c

>>11374205
I visited /his/ recently and was surprised by the sheer density of autists, protties, and faggots. You wouldn't think that it would be like it is, but somehow literature is less gay by far than history. I'm never leaving this board again. I feel like a kid who accidentally wandered into a bathhouse full of pseud englishmen

>>11393198
/his/ is unfortunately a containment board. /pol/ with dates

I'm running out of time.

>>11393207
at least /his/ has organic posters, /lit/ is now nothing but shills

>>11393272
Shilling cunts that are dead?

>>11393294
if the work is still under copyright then some benefits, can't let epic bandanaman's irrelevant rants about tv fade into obscurity when the copyright is still good for another 100 years!

>>11393297
>people can't possibly talk about things without being paid
why are you even on this site if you believe this

>>11381149
Holy fucking shit I get it.

It's Marshmello telling me he loves. And he's an actual marshmallow.

Followed by these weird ass women in the crowd going
>She was chosen by Marshmello
>Marshmello chose her
>Oh my god Marshmello chose her

And there's this one weird dude saying
>Why didn't Marshmello choose me!

As he pulls out his eyes.

Then the girl is on stage.

I'm only a little down the thread so I'll try and finish...

I'm trying to write a very intense scene in my story, and I'm getting the same type of anxiety I get when I am reading a story, or watching a movie, and I KNOW something really bad is about to happen.

I didn't think I could have this type of feeling with something that I had made up, and to make it worse, it's like it's fine when I'm thinking of it, but actually reading it once it's on the page is heart wrenching.

>>11375845
And as the girl walks up on stage, she eats the marshmallow by the turntables.

>OH MY GOD SHE ATE MARSHMALLOW
>THAT GIRL GORGED HERSELF ON MARSHMELLOW
>SHE MURDERED MARSHMELLO

The man that tore out his eyes had Marshmello's eyes in his sockets.
>I REPLACED MY EYES WITH MARSHMALLOWS

You give me a lot of funny ideas.

Think we should make a language learning general or something? We can give each other help and advice, talk about languages etc

>>11393328
>wow language

I hate that you were the most relatable human I have met, of all people in the world, and I am deeply ashamed of myself for being vulnerable enough to fall for you.

>>11393700
who

i think i took the 'suicidal: eat 40 bigmacs! the world is your oyster' advice too many times and it's broken now

>>11374205

Seeing babies crushes me because looking at their happy little faces reminds me that one day they'll die. There's nothing they can do to avoid the insatiable maw of the abyss

>>11393710
Nobody you know. I don't know why you faggots always do this shit.

>>11393436
No

>>11374205
I recently took a shit, and now my butthose feels a bit irritated and my stomach/colon feels tight like someone is hugging it more and more each second. I wish my diet was better so I didn't have to experience this uncomfortable feeling when I poop, is this what gay men feel each morning when they wake up, what the hell.

Awe my doggy is so cute, look at him, he came here to get some scratches and love.

>>11393436
You ever heard of /int/?

I hate winter. Nothing bothers me more than being trapped in my house with my parents. I want to move out. I need a job.

You ever drink so much coffee that you start to feel your heart is beating too fast, the ringing in your head sounds like a tea kettle about to boil over, your breaths are so rhythmic and stunted you're always out of breath and you have the shit sweats by 10 in the morning?

>>11384206
Sounds like she just needs to accept the truth. Bring it up again next time you see her.

Schoppenhauer was right, there's no happiness in life, at most you can try to minimize suffering as much as possible. The worst part of it is the fact that we're doomed to feel empathy, seeing the suffering of others and feeling it deeply only amplifies the suffering we're all condemned to live.

>>11394089
dude i wish, i never get that anymore, but i dont use sugar in my coffee, i think that rush is more related to sugar than caffeine cuz i chug coffee all day and nothing happens but if i go to dunkin donuts and buy an ice coffee filled with sugar i will be bouncing off the walls

If I listened to enough chants for long enough by a particular native culture (like the Selk'nam of Tierra del Fuego) would I be able to understand their souls, and find out what the common denominators are between us and them?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjuE4LEsolE

>>11395184
I assume you should understand their language too

>>11395256
That's not going to happen since there are barely any records of these particular people. I jsut want to see if I can find meaning in the tone of their voices.

I want to put myself in service for mankind and the world. I hate living in a small place and knowing only a handful of people. I help them the best I can, but that's not enough and I don't know how to extend my powers so as to put the best of me to help all of you guys. My altruism has no limits, but my influence does.

What do I do? Should I become a lawyer? A politician? A priest? A professor? I'm 29 years old.

>>11395372
become a sexy sissy slut offering oral relief to incels

>>11395393
God I wish that were me

>>11395372
does some americorp then become a politician or something
or be a revolutionary and overthrow some corrupt government
A priest is the lowest effort of them though so that could also be a choice

why wasnt i born a qt anime girl with two sisters who love books like i do

>>11395801
because you exist

damn the landlord is gonna be here first thing in the morning, gotta clean up all this cum before he gets here

I'm half way through applying to service academies realizing I'll never make it in because I never played sports in HS (80% of the accepted students in West Point were VARSITY athletes).
My school doesn't have ROTC, so I'm at an even larger disadvantage.

I'm looking for scholarships and I don't even know what to look for because I can see myself majoring in everything.

I've written two books of traditional, Renaissance poetry in two different languages (one in English, one in Spanish), fully realizing they'll never be published.

I feel confused.

doing research for writing a novel is harder than i thought it would be

>>11396476
When it is too hard, perhaps you shouldn't be writing about it.

Not that you can't do research, but write about what you already know. If you just saw Pirates of the Caribean and felt like writing about pirates without any further knowledge on it, then your story will suck even if you research hard.

>>11396488
you wouldn't believe the shit that garbage men do man, they can make 6 figures from selling the trash that's still salvageable and their pay is great because of their union tactics. But since they have set route i have to make up a trade system so that my character has access to whatever trash is useful. It's not the most interesting at first glance but the more you look into it the more you see how fucking weird i is to be a garbage man

>>11393725
Because it sounds prescient enough that it begs explanation on behalf of it not being personal?

>>11389091
This is completely random, but have you watched an anime called the perfect insider or subete ga f ni naru? It doesn't deal with any of the stuff or the problems you are going through, but I think it might make you understand and feel different things differently. The anime is produced after a book written in 1996, it hasn't been translated into english yet. The mystery, the atmosphere, the OST and the dialogue are all subjectively perfect.
By listening to the following soundtrack you can decide if it might stir something inside you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD7oBDefW8U&t=153s

What will this accomplish? I've done this time and time again, putting my thoughts into words and leaving them in these threads hoping that in some way it would be impressive, not just for you, but to prove to myself that I can write something commendable, amazing even. By now I've usually spiraled out into a half-assed attempt to make it seem like this didn't start as something serious, turning the whole thing into one big joke. If not that then the whole thing is just a meta description of what I'm doing right now. Maybe I should be trying to improve instead of thriving on intuition and jerking myself off to my own "natural inclination" towards whatever shitty hobby I've decided to pick up in search of something I'm good at, maybe even great at. In the end I never follow through with them anyway, I hit a wall and realize I'm not as smart as I think I am and that I'll never be amazing at anything without any sort of dedication, or hard work, and that any immediacy of relief from my own insecurities through a random stroke of genius is a naive pipe dream.

>>11396777
Hnnnngggg checked

>>11374205
I saw this and poetry came to mind, I'm clearly no professional but I write ocassionally and save it on a notepad file bc im edgy like that. Here it goes.

I've come to the depressing realization that I am completely insignificant
no matter how hard I try, I won't become anything or anyone
I will never be anyone of any renown or importance, let alone magnificence
I've come to terms with it too. I realize that I am no one.

The worst part about it, is not that I am not capable
but rather having potential to be as good or even better.
Sometimes I wonder why I keep pushing through this horrid weather
Running all drenched like a Horse in a storm, looking for a stable.

I honestly find it absurd, why God will feed the ones that are already fat.
Or why I even take the time to write shit that won't even be read by a rat
Or why I make an absurd comparison for the sake of a rhyme
like a rat reading, fat people eating, my poetry isn't worth a dime

I don't want to sound like a angsty teenager nor a complete pessimist
Its just that I can't see a way out.
For 22 long years I've been pushing blindly through this mist
following tracks, searching everywhere, looking for an exit or any sort of route

Im slowly losing motivation, yet for some reason I never come to a full stop
for that I am thankful because if at any point I stopped I would simply cease to exist
no, no, no I'm not talking about suicide or any sort of self harm like cutting my wrist.
I mean it unconvetionally, like a complete intellectual death, as if my brain turned into something as dull as a wet mop

Now that I'm done with the poem I can at least say that I feel at peace
Although I really doubt these episodes will cease
At least not until my problem is fixed
only then will I be able to get past this awkward eclipse

Her death was surreal. The three of us watched it. It still does not make sense. Maybe it made sense to the nurse: Just another night shift in palliative care. I could say this: what I saw was paranormal. But life after death, NO. The family with their prayers. Everybody adhering to "Destination: Heaven." Well, fuck a God that creates us to worship him. God is too human. I filed faith away as myth long, long ago.

When they took the tube out, she flinched. I felt her annoyance somewhere deep inside myself. She tensed as if to puke. Her nose wrinkled and she grimaced. The most active I had seen her all day. I know we all leaned in and braced ourselves. Was she hurting or was that an involuntary response? Could she feel that annoyance? Probably just us.

They tell you all kinds of things to make you feel better like the meds are strong enough. "She's feeling no pain." Someone even said that this bag here -- this is the drug that Michael Jackson couldn't get enough of. I am numb, I am crying, I have been both for hours now.

One cannot know. How can you tell? If they say, they do they will lie to you with fear and love.

Mom swallowed hard. The nurse lifted her head and rearranged the pillows. For a moment, mom's eyes opened. I had wished for this for hours. She looked right at me. I was still, and I remember saying "Ma?" and searching for the hope of maybe saying goodbye, or hello, or anything. Her eyes. She wasn't looking at me. Wasn't looking through me. She was in a coma and liver failure. There was nothing behind those eyes. Her eyes opened unnaturally, and all that shone back at me was an abyss. Blackness. Void.

Her blood was poisoned. Her brain was awash in toxins. The inevitability had arrived. We were numb. We understood the abstract nature of "passing." Here was that abstraction.

>>11396777
breddy good friendo - as far as free association, idgaf... i'm moderately talented and jaded, stream of consciousness ambivalence-type shit goes.

Except for the conventional use of a naive pipe dream at the end, I liked it, fuckin normie.

A dick In the ass is better than two in the mouth.

Honestly true

I can't sleep.

I don't have usual insomnia of rolling in bed before sleep, I just don't want to sleep. I stay up late, but when I lay down I faint. Then I wake up early the next day. I usually sleep from 3am to 7am or 8am and feel like a train wreck but I cannot afford to rest. I feel like motherfucking white rabbit from Alice, always late for something, catching up with all of the time I lost.

>>11396976
how is that true? If I have two dicks in my mouth they are getting bitten off. A dick in the ass is a lot harder to stop

You don't deserve my presence.

There's nothing really fun or social about this website. I should have stopped coming here years ago.

lol a new roommate just moved in my building gonna larp as a normie as long as possible and not fappit for like a month

>>11374205
Someone fucking kill me

>>11397062
same, i just came here today to avoid doing a hard programming task lol gotta stop this shit ppl dont even talk about lit anymore its just general shit i might as well be on irc with the gen x homies instread of a bunch lil nazi shitheads and anime perverts

>>11397026
You can cut from a dick in the ass.

And if you've been properly squat thrusting you should be able to tighten that hole to a Chinese finger trap grip and then bam your intruder is caught like a bear in a bear trap. Plus you get to cum doubly hard.

>>11397074
lol that would be a wicked gay workout if u pinch a dudes dick in ur ass and then lift him by it

>>11396596
Out of the millions of people who browse 4chan on a daily basis, a random anonymous post in the wee hours of the morning on the fucking internet is not about you. Y'all have extreme egos.

>>11397088
Man it's a squat I can't just lift that mother fucker but bro he holds on like a bear hug I'm big though so he got like core strength too but anyway workout sex with your friend and getting ripped as shit is the shit.

I mean think of it like this if you are straight. You wrestle with your girl it's cute and then its fucking. Bros wrestling goes hard it's a battle man and then the victor gets to fucking go 13th century on that ass I mean damn!

Plus it's a great way to stay in shape

Bump moar!!!

TL;DR
We need to open up, to welcome vulnerability, it's the only way to become emotionally stronger.

All social insecurities are bedded in lies, when you can single out these false premises out, and fill the void that was left with courage and ambition, your mindset changes, failures are now scars that push you forward and look cool on your visage. Then comes Maturity...
Maturity is being resilient, which means no neediness, and makes the way for authentic and respectful appreciation of acts of selflessness from others.
I want deep personal connections (opening up for rejection), but you should not crave them to a point where you're sabotaging your self respect.

Neediness is when you value what people think of you more than what you think of yourself, and "self-confidence" is just the fame you got with yourself throughout time.

Embracing vulnerability is the key out of social stigma, ditching neediness and acting on becoming a powerhouse of lividity.

>>11374293
Do you have a VISION?
You can't aim at the target when you don't know what you're looking at. Don't become an Intellectual, you should hear this and realise it's something derrogatory. Would you have the courage to quit the safe and pursue your deepest desires? Maybe that's exactly what's missing.

We are always one question away from figuring out what was draining millions from us, our life and well deserved pride. This is what you should be headstrong about.

>>11376834
You need to define some things first (where the resentment comes from, then see where you're standing on the same subjects). If he's not authentic or you lost respect and admiration for him you should be doing this right now.

Just a heads-up: Beware so you don't end up being your own "hardened protector" (shielding yourself from life) and you won't gain nothing out of making the departure hard on him. Start ghosting for some time then talk to him, face to face, when you're absolutely sure on what you want.

The Wankel rotary engine is a type of four stroke engine that uses a spinning dorito instead of a piston. The novel engine is almost exclusively known for being in Mazda's RX cars. The RX7 FD is a beautifully styled car, perhaps the most beautiful car ever designed. The biggest drawback with Wankel rotary engines is that they require rebuilds when the apex seals wear out.

>>11374205
420 Gucci gang
Mom took my VAPE
cause I failed ENGLISH
you AINT Shakespeare

>>11397062
>>11397070
>baww i'm too enlightened for lit!
And yet you are here and yet we are talking. You could raise the level of this place, but you concede that it's shit and settle for that.

If you are here, you belong here. When you are not here, you are better people.

Shut up mom I'm playing Fortnite!

>>11381632
It’s ok desu, I very recently learnt it’s ‘sin-op-sees’ and not ‘sine-op-sis’

Why does it hurt so much to read stoner? Is it because i can slightly relate with his situation?

Do normies ask for nudes, or just offer them freely? Also, at what point in a relationship does one start asking / offering?
t. aspiring normie larper

>>11398115
shhh no one help him

>>11398118
I doubt anyone here even knows, I wasn't expecting an answer I was writing what was on my mind.

>>11378269
Yes bro. Way to kick life in the balls and climb back up.
I love hearing shit like this, it gives me reassurance that life isnt a total shit-show and things can get better.
Good for you anon. Many blessings on your brighter future.

>>11398115
They do and I find it weird too. I am vaccinated because years of 4chan made me go extremely careful about anything I post or share online or in private messages. I've received nudes from dates and gfs and they ask for nudes of me, but I just don't send any.

>go out with girl
>we make out
>we go home
>she send me a teasing nude later that night without saying anything
>just sperg and say "nice, so hot" or whatever words I chose
Feels so empty. I don't want nudes, I want to fuck people. Porn made me insensitive to just seeing pictures of naked women.

Fuck messaging. The online world sucks so much in general. There is shit social media anxiety generator, fake news and clickbait websites, porn and hell holes like this place. What else? Only redeeming factor I can think of is downloading shit I would not have access to otherwise like old movies, pdfs of books, etc.

I can't fucking wait for a sun storm to just fuck all of our eletronics and force us to go back to reality.

How the fuck do i upgrade my writing style from the "15 year old uh profound instagram poster" to actual servicable pottery?

I hate how things are marketed as being creative when all you're doing is following instructions and as i typed that i realised how it's just like school or life in general where you're not creative but instead just doing what you're told

I'm talking about that new nintendo cardboard btw

Reminds me of ikea stuff

I also hate the "maker" movement

>>11398452
imo this has drained the creativity from many could've-beens, whatever genre of whatever artform we're talking about, there's obviously a shitton of could've beens, but society, and not just the modern one, but human nature has restrained creativity by a massive degree, imagine what kind of musicians, artists, filmmakers etc we could've had had the human not shut down what they didn't find "objectively moral" from the government, killing creative visions for not being "suficiently profitable and too niche of a (perceived) audience" by the out of touch businessman of a distribution or publishing film, it's not like people are going to discover new things because they want to, rather than because they were shown what they saw as a shiny new toy

i think i have severe attention deficit disorder with a noticable above average intelligence and some autism on top, coupled with the laziness of severe depression

(all diagnosed by a professional, except add, high iq and depression)

>>11398486

What you're attributing to "human nature" is capitalism

>>11398493
This desu. The fact that there are wannabe artists that aren't communists blows my mind.

>>11398493
Not only, the teacher in school telling children to fall in line, the manager at your job, telling you to stop fooling around, the university teacher disregarding your score for coming up with the solution through the wrong method

Capitalism is far from the perfect system imo, especially since the way the human bends the rules, justifies his destructivity and seeks pleasure in comformity, rather playing it safe and boring, than strange, different, and (to them lost is the pleasure in this) exciting.

That's not to say nothing better than capitalism exist, it probably hasn't been invented yet. Oh well civilizations tend to fall, when this one does i just hope we'll move forwards.

The shithead from bioshock had the right idea, sadly it would only work if the people didn't think like humans

>>11398506
Maybe i'm swayed on the bioshock thing from cryomancy being sold in vending machines, but oh well

>>11397312
Seems pretty reasonable keep walking this path and see where it leads

>>11398506

They tell you that because they need obedient slaves

For capitalism

>>11398697
They don't need, they want. They can very well do without, but why not cut the wages and make the most money you can, or alternatively, throw money away when it could've been yours? Capitalism makes the system of meritocracy enable such behavior. Capitalism works hardly for the benefit of the few, communism hardly works or gets executed on the spot. At the very least human vanity gives some room for talent, for example the music industry, indie videogames, some artforms, sadly nothing more concrete and practical, such as new inventions.

>>11398718

Communism will save us one day. Not state capitalism like the USSR but communism.

>>11378269
Good stuff, man. Keep it up.