/lit/ - Literature

vaginas disgust me

ewww

>>11316701
i dont get it

>>11316701
Unironically better than Dante.

>>11316714
Because you lack a soul

>>11316701

Some things are good, like the line:

>Ripped out the stitches in your heart

>>11316701
This is shit not because muh woman writers but because I've cried uncontrollably in a public restroom before and this really misses the mark on all counts

>>11316714
cockblocked

>>11316701
Why is there no punctuation? I don't read many poems, it's that normal?

>>11316701
Needs more commas

"Dildo" killed it for me.

This is one place where the random enjambment thing actually works, discrete thoughts but-not kind of mirrors the flip-flop between identifying with her, and hypothesizing about her. It feels like the line breaks are random, because each sympathetic "guess" at why the crier is crying COULD continue as a story from the author's experience, but she doesn't, because it's interrupted by more guessing.

But it had to be a dildo to fucken establish itself as having an "edge" or other.

"Hairbrush" would've worked! No problem over here with dildos, just breaks tone.

Idk, that's my take.

>>11316723
That sounds like the sort of line I'd expect from a Smashing Pumpkins song.

Bad.

Threadly reminder that this shit will never stop until white men are solely responsible with what get published and women go back to the kitchen.
Women's rights was a mistake and they are all soulless creatures who lack empathy for their fellow humans.

>crying in a public restroom
Get some fucking dignity.

>closed your legs to a man you loved opened them for one you didn’t
Women in a nutshell

>>11316737
It's normal for a lot of modern poetry. It's supposed to be either a more honest depiction of the stream of conscious, or a depiction of energetic thought, or it's supposed to be disorienting for that very effect.

>>11316754
Christ. Kill yourself. Men have no business reading literature

HEY WE GOT A DILDO OVER HERE GUYS

A MASTURBATOR

People think Whitman killed poetry through three verse, when he actually killed it through all of those fucking lists. Now every poet has to use 50 goddam lines to get the point across. You can't just say "You're a shallow slut crying because your life has no meaning," or a more poetic version of such, you have to make it seem like the person's existence isn't actually empty because they get drunk and sing songs

>>11316701
Does Clairo know about this?

>>11316701
only lined the second, third and fourth lines.

>>11316723
that's like the worst line in the entire piece good job

>>11316756

>tfw no poetic sensibility
>tfw no outbursts
>tfw when never overcome when emotion

back to /sci/

>>11316780

yep

shit's linkin park tier.

I still like it.

does Rupi know about this?

>>11316771
Whitman didn't even remotely kill poetry. It was modernist shit like pedo fag Ginsberg and Plath that killed poetry. All slam poetry bullshit can be traced back to them.

>>11316804
While I don't connect with the OP poem I actually do think it's unfair to compare it to rupi kaur

>>11316805
And they can be traced to Whitman.

>>11316701
women are so gay lmao
>wew im a whore and 'love'
yeah ok

>>11316701
>stayed up to watch the sunset
The sun sets at like 8 at the latest does the author live in Alaska?

>>11316723

i thought this the worst line

>>11316819
>women are so gay
Anon when are you going to stop being such a stupid manchild?

>>11316805
Kaddish and Howl might as well both be Whitman poems

>>11316748
singing into a dildo doesn't seem like edge to me. moreso, it's an act of common embarrassing self-play (dance like no one is looking) thing most humans when no other is privy.

it's a bit weird, but I find forgetting of your pretenses that are in service of the They can be extremely ingratiating.

>>11316828
literally never, why would i? what incentive is there

>>11316718
It really is. Just bought a couple of her books on Amazon.

fuck whimsy

The fuck is this meme of using slashes in poetry?

Stop this

>>11316833

Cool take, I'll think about it.

I agreed with the other anon that the "stitches in heart" line is the worst line...

U think there might have been intent in having a platitudinous line like that... like, common experience of public sadness, weeping line that, as self consciously trite-in-itself? Regressing to unpoetic lines to emphasize commonality?

>>11316748
I think dildo works because it turns the cliche of singing into a hairbrush on its head or whatever I don’t know who cares

>>11316880

"I know, I know, we're crying like some stupid shit line 'stitches torn out of our hearts'."

No claim to the experience being at all poetic or unique.

>several ifs
>no then
what did xir mean by this?

>>11316701
BPD: the poem

>>11316903

that means the stall door is closed??

>>11316903

Or a Rudyard Kipling allusion.

>>11316908
Every female poet has BPD.

>>11316701
This honestly isn't as bad as a lot of the other instagram meme "poets". I kinda liked how the beginning of the next thought generally came before the line break, it gives all the images a literal textual continuity mirroring the thematic continuity. However it loses that pattern in the last few lines so idk.

Still though it's a pretty uninteresting and banal subject matter. I swear every fucking female poet nowadays has written some generic polemic singing the virtues of the average modern woman or whatever the fuck and they're all exactly the same. Though to be fair the embarrassing male pseuds do the same thing when talking about how cigarettes and lipstick get their dicks hard and shit. God poetry is such trash nowadays.

>comparing Kim Addonizio (who has published books for almost two decades, won several awards, and is often assigned in contemporary poetry courses) to fucking Rupi Kaur just because they're both women

Stop. (And for what it's worth, most of her poems aren't written in this clunky and punctuationless stream-of-consciousness style, either.)

>>11316989
i'm not the person you replied to, but would you mind posting maybe one of your preferred poems from her? i really liked the one in the op, looking for more from her, don't know where to start

>>11316921
dam... tru..

>>11316723
No joke, that is literally from a fucking Postal Service song. Embarrassing

I only know this because I fucking love that album

>>11316824
underrated

>>11316701
Why does every woman write a poem about menstrual mishaps but no man ever writes a poem about getting diarrhea in his pants? They're both perfectly normal experiences but only one is deemed poetic

>>11316723
Literally the second worst line.

>>11317012

I own one of her collections (Lucifer at the Starlite) that I bought during undergrad. There's a smattering of her stuff online:

https://www.poemhunter.com/kim-addonizio/poems/
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/kim-addonizio

She's not one of my favorite contemporary poets, not really that great in my opinion, but she is at least a "real poet" and somewhat of an well-known figure, so I just find it baffling that someone would compare her work to Instagram or slam "poetry."

Shadilay my fellow incells, shadilay!

>>11316838
>Women are so gay
>But I can't get any sexs with them.
>That's why they are gayyy.

Roastie logic.

>>11317178
women are verifiably gay they like dick and they get emotional about stuff all the time

>>11317187
Whatever roastie

>>11317104
>implying women can't diarrhea in their pants too
The more appropriate comparison would be men cumming in their pants, and they do frequently write the metaphorical equivalent of that.

>>11317169
Since you're a roastie whore and incapable of feeling empathy for other people, let me try and explain why a guy would be bothered by that.

Imagine you have a crush on Chad. You hang out with Chad, you do everything with Chad. You feel such a special bond with him. But you find out that Chad leaves you to go fuck the hotter girl with bigger tits, nicer ass and 30 pounds less fat. But hey, he just needs you for that special bond you have! He just...........doesn't see you in THAT way and hopes you understand. But you still want to be friends right?

>>11317245
L0lam0!!! Incel!! :;) Yo((u)))are'so f0cking path-etic!!! And ar bogg0r! roastie than (((me)))!-?

>>11316804
>I FOLLOW NO ONE
How long until feminine jealousy has her destroy this poor poets career?
>>11316833
>>11316880
Her choice was superior to singing into a brush. It communicates a devil may care moment but the fact that she places the dildo so close to her face; it shows her lack of self awareness at her own depravity (her being the type, not the poet specifically).

>>11316701
>no comas

Decent rolling thunder style. A little immature, confessional poetry is pretty boring imo. If a girl wrote this in a creative writing class I'd be like ok nice job and some other girls would be like "omg I love this" then forget about it ten minutes later

>>11317684

Does a poem have to mention comas to be good in your eyes? Did you spend the majority of your life in a coma, so it’s the only thing you can relate to? Why the connection from “no coma” to “pleb”? Is it a metaphor of some sort?

Tell us, anon. Tell us your secrets.

>>11316771
You have no ability to read between the lines of the list. Although, I will concede that it can seem empty when done by route, the list in the poem is an array of emotional moments of different varieties and directions. I think it does an alright job of describing someone who is free-wheeling and perhaps contradictory.
Further, you should be fucking ashamed to use a utilitarian argument for literature. Especially with poetry and description. You will never make it as a reader of anything other than technical manuals and encyclopedias.
>>11316805
And you're a retard who has been told what to dislike.

>>11316701

This seems like it should be spoken and not
read, because it reads like trash

>>11316813
Whitman is actually an at least good poet, though. Saying he ruined American poetry because of his shitty followers is like saying George Washington ruined America. Sure, he had something to do with it inasmuch as he helped create America. Whitman had something to do with it inasmuch as he helped create and popularize free verse, but free verse doesn’t need to be bad. Whitman himself does it well at times.

>>11316813 #
Whitman is actually an at least good poet, though. Saying he ruined American poetry because of his shitty followers is like saying George Washington ruined America. Sure, he had something to do with it inasmuch as he helped create America. Whitman had something to do with it inasmuch as he helped create and popularize free verse, but free verse doesn’t need to be bad. Whitman himself does it well at times. Also >>11316805 Plath is a great poet just in terms of technical skill, histrionics and her influence on shitty poets aside.

>>11316813
Whitman is actually an at least good poet, though. Saying he ruined poetry because of his shitty followers is like saying George Washington ruined America. Sure, he had something to do with it inasmuch as he helped create America. Whitman had something to do with it inasmuch as he helped create and popularize free verse (or lists, as that anon said), but free verse doesn’t need to be bad. Whitman himself does it well at times. Also >>11316805 Plath is a great poet just in terms of technical skill, histrionics and her influence on shitty poets aside.

>>11316701
What's interesting about this "poem" is how she juxtaposes the sin of fornication
>ever / closed your legs to a man you loved / opened them for one you didn't
With a lot of meaningless crap / accidental stuff she can't control.

The entire logic of the poem is really about a woman trying to cover up the guilt/shame of fornication. That's why she brushes past the line "opened (your legs) for one who didn't" and equates it with banal misfortunes, implying that it wasn't her fault she engaged not just in fornication, but in fornication without even the excuse of love/affection - rather, it just "happened to her".

You can be edgy about my use of the phrase "sin of fornication", but the fact is that women feel guilty about it regardless of what it's called. Instead of writing crap poetry to cover over their conscience, women guilty of fornication should just admit their guilt, repent and change their lives; before they end up piling shame upon shame. The saddest thing is when women LIE TO THEMSELVES and pretend that "it doesn't matter / it didn't mean any thing", and then make the same mistake in order to justify their corrupt conscience. STOP.

>use line breaks in pointless places
>don't actually use line breaks OR punctuation where it would be necessary

>>11317148
trash

>>11316701
I guarantee you no white middle class woman has ever swam across a river in the rain, that would be too dangerous and would provide no benefits to social standing. Therefore the whole thing is invalid and joy is not coming to this petite bourgeois crybaby bitch.

>>11316701
why do women have to associate love with "dildos" or "authors_own_appearance_here".

It's fucking disgusting. It shows how shallow their view of love is.
The stitches she talks about are a simple thread of misplaced cotton in comparison to a man's geniune selfless love lost.

>>11318194
Imagine writing a poem

TO THE MAN SOCIOPATHIC-ALLY ALIENATED
ON THE BUS

Have you ever woke up naked at 3 a.m. ever
murdered an innocent man and dumped his
body in a forest littered the pavement with
chocolate bar wrappers left the t.v. on over-
night so that electricity is wasted had to go
to work with skid-marks in your underwear
had to pretend it wasn't you that farted felt
awkward when a women caught you staring
longingly at her because you're lonely as fuck
in a culture that commodifies intimate relation-
ships when all you want is to spend one night
not distracting yourself from loneliness and despair
ever gone outside without a coat then it started
raining heavily / listen I love you joy is coming.

>>11318341
beautiful

>>11316748

The enjambment feels inspired by the Gwendolyn Brooks poem We Real Cool, so I kinda get why it's done that way. Keeps a sort of narrative pull and tension.

>>11316748
Stunningly garbage opinion.

>>11316701
Dildo AND tampon!
10/10

>>11318194
The fact that you assumed the poem was an excuse rather than a clever illustration of that mindset (it was obviously neither in reality, of course) shows an unironically misogynistic confirmation bias

>>11316701
Subject matter is terrible but the writing isnt actually all that bad

>>11316919
kekd

>>11316723
Incredibly cliche.

>>11316701
>Become an hedonistic stupid bitch and you will feel better !
Wow so is this the power of women ?

>>11318341
better than the original desu

>>11316701
>If you ever woke in your dress at 4 A.M. ever
i stopped right here what the fuck

I find the way women in Anglophone nations express their bathroom "solidarity" with each other very banal.

>>11316754
>women go back to the kitchen
Anon, women can't cook. There is a reason why all the best chefs are men.

>>11316701
so is this thread meant to push the next meme poet like rupi.
or are we going to genuinely engage in some critique here.


this poem says the same old thing
in the same exact way.

should left it on the forums where the author posted it.

or kept to open reading of the monthly slam poetry jam.

>>11320456
Kim Addonizio is an actually well-known contemporary poet, and if you knew anything about poetry you would probably find out she's familiar with the rules of the craft - the poem shows a nice rhythm and an effective use of enjambement - and writes seriously.

My problem with that poem in particular (I don't remember much else by her, and I don't own, nor do I intend to ever own, any of her collections) is that it focuses on a list of irrelevant activities meant to symbolize a connection which I see as either fake or superficial, because it is politically-motivated. Morally, therefore, it is corrupt. In terms of beauty alone, it is trivial, and could have been written by any talented college student on a lucky day.

>>11317148
Most of /lit/ doesn't read poetry. What else would you expect? They really don't read, they really know nothing about it.