/lit/ - Literature

>>11257301

Probably either the /srg/ short campaign story about the time they blew up Zurich orbital, or the various (I think /k/) shorts about what if humans were the most badass aliens in the galaxy, of which "level with me" was my favorite.

Unironically this

>>11257307
>Liking hfy
Unironically kys.

>>11257339
>tfw you realize her mother was phone

It will be soon but it won't be that interesting. AI will never be realised, because it's simply much easier to create smartelligent PID garbage that is capable of destroying humanity without ever making it truly intelligent, like algorithm-creating algorithms that are good enough for their retarded human operators to destroy humanity by logging every human face on the planet and using them in some disastrous social engineering project.

It will be the most boring fucking things imaginable, dude. It's not gonna be anything fancy. It's going to be rich people slowly getting the rights to genetically modify their offspring, creating real racial bifurcation between rich and poor within 2-3 short generations so that rich people are all tall, elfinly symmetrical, diseaseless, dopaminergenic cybrids who live for 130 years and don't visibly age until age 50. And those people will concentrate all the fucking wealth and do the most BORING IMAGINABLE SOCIAL ENGINEERING PROJECTS, like on the level of Israel neutering Ethiopian Jews. The horrific cyberdystopia is not going to be experienced by "humanity," it will be experienced by grotesque and grotesquely overpowered boring upper middle class petit bourgeois faggots, basically Ivanka Trump, owning a shrinking underclass of ruddy niggermen slaves and using them for the most boring possible things, seriously just a stasis of how rich people live now, cultureless fucking retards

You are not going to experience Blade Runner and Tech-Com wars like in Battlefield 2142. "You" and your offspring will have lives probably comparable to today but you will be indentured servants to Ivanka 5-Trump. It's not even going to be COOL post-human feudalism, it's going to be more of this "I was born into a debt-slave family instead of one of the upper 20%, so I make coffee instead of having coffee made for me lol but it's still okay because I can also have a coffee at the end of my 7 hour shift and I get to watch algorithmically generated prole movies on my iPhone while I'm on break ;)!!" fucking garbage they have already had us plugged into since the 70s. The algorithmic culture industry is ALREADY WORKING, it doesn't need qualitative enhancement. They have ALREADY turned you into a fluoridated docile sheepman who loves to eat candy. They don't need soma because they have worthless pig slop culture and sitcoms. They don't need the brain-programming sleep speakers because you already do it fucking anyway by giving your baby an iPad playing Youtube videos AS SUGGESTED BY FUCKING ALGORITHMS for 15 hours a day anyway. They won't even need to nerve-staple you or genetically engineer us into drones because we already did it to ourselves. All they're doing to do is turn this place into even more of a playground for themselves than it already is, and we won't even notice.

>>11257395
Also at the very bottom, as always, there will be a true underclass of third world slaves and the truly fucked triple-jobbers who have to drive the Ubers instead of drivig them, but you won't help them because you're an upper caste inner party slave who gets to ride in an Uber and doesn't have to drive an Uber. Just watch that Naoki documentary about that Japanese dude, A Story of Love and Hate. He works three jobs and his girlfriend is half a prostitute for bored rich men who also hate their lives. They live in a fucking cube, they work 16 hours a day, they have no time to think, and they go to workplaces where their wealthier bosses make them dance around and go "I rove my boss!" to "increase workplace morale." But it still resembles the hell we already live in. Naoki doesn't notice he's in hell, he has some dim idea of it but he thinks it's still "The World," he thinks it's still LIFE, just his has become shitty.

That's what it is about to happen. It will be completely imperceptible but it will be broadcasting on every channel of human experience and the human condition. We are all going to become Naoki from that movie, the most imperceptible possible slide into being drones who are plugged directly into capital and libidin

>>11257301
unfortunately, TLoTiaT

you guys have shit taste, it's clearly:

ah, blood meridian, monsieur that novel is the sark and chaparral of literature, the filament whereon rode the remuda of highbrow, corraled out of some destitute hacienda upon the arroya, quirting and splurting with main and with pyrolatrous coagulate of lobated grandiloquence. our eyes rode over the pages, monsieur, of that slatribed azotea like argonauts of suttee, juzgados of swole, bights and systoles of walleyed and tyrolean and carbolic and tectite and scurvid and querent and creosote and scapular malpais and shellalagh. we scalped, monsieur, the gantlet of its esker and led our naked bodies into the rebozos of its mennonite and siliceous fauna, wallowing in the jasper and the carnelian like archimandrites, teamsters, combers of cassinette scoria, centroids of holothurian chancre, with pizzles of enfiladed indigo panic grass in the saltbush of our vigas, true commodores of the written page, rebuses, monsieur, we were the mygale spiders too and the devonian and debouched pulque that settled on the frizzen studebakers, listening the wolves howling in the desert while we saw the judge rise out of a thicket of corbelled arches, whinstone, cairn, cholla, lemurs, femurs, leantos, moonblanched nacre, uncottered fistulas of groaning osnaburg and kelp, isomers of fluepipe and halms awap of griddle, guisado, pelancillo.

My sweet caring mother, I did as you told me, you darling thing, and woke myself up when I heard your crashing. I am delighted that you do like making pancakes for me. Yes, now I can remember that morning when I dined with you for so long, so hungrily. It was the fluffiest batch of pancakes you ever gave me, mother. My fork was stuck in my mouth for hours, shoveling in and in those lovely steaming hotcakes. I felt your craftsmanship on my tongue and saw the care you used in your baking. At every bite I took the marvelous flavor came bursting past my lips and if I chewed it for a while longer than usual, lovely gobs of syrup came rushing from the dough. I had a plateful of pancakes that morning, mother, and I ate every single one, big turgid ones, flat cakey ones, round fluffy ones and a lot of tiny little hotcakes ending in a lovely feeling of euphoria. It is wonderful to eat from a plate of fluffy pancakes when each cake reveals another one under it. I think I would know my mother's pancakes anywhere. I think I could pick hers out of a table full of pancakes. It is a rather light batter she uses, not like the thick flowing one I imagine other mothers make. It is creamy and soft and sweet like what a master chef would prepare for the most high paying of his customers. I hope you will make no end of your pancakes in my kitchen so that I may know their taste always.

>>11257395
>>11257406
At first I thought "Wow really maeks you think : ^)"

now im like wow i'm really thinking

honestly?? i think his poetry is good and thats why people like him

like for example if you just read the words you realize that the words sound good and have a nice meaning and junk

i heard from my uncle that he wrote his stuff as a kid and i dont know if youre familiar with the idea that children have the ultimate wisdom but i think if you dont believe that then you havent read rimbaud because he lends credence to that idea

so in conclusion if you read his poems and just think about what hes saying and how good it sounds and the meaning you will like it just trust me on this one

fyi if you have synesthesia and read his poetry aloud or have it read to you then youre in for a treat

>>11257301
The peepee dossier.

>>11257339
it has been a minute

>>11257395
>>11257406
based

>>11257406
That documentary is so horrible. I only got like halfway thorough before having to stop. It's well made and engaging but the subject matter was too much for me to handle. I can't imagine living like that, and the fact that people do is pretty horrifying

>>11257411
6/10
>>11257406
>>11257395
2/10
we live in a society
>>11257339
9/10
>>11257563
10/10 monsieur anon was a true genious
>>11257572
absolute masterpiece 10/10
>>11257654
boring immanetized eschaton of its happening!!!!!! boring boring boring boring
2/10
>>11257619
2/10

For me it's "brother, may you spare me some oaths?"

>>11257692
based

>>11257654
>people on this site still believe the dossier was fabricated by /pol/
>when its been independently vouched for by multiple intelligence agents
>when more and more of its claims have been verified
face it, daddy trump has a piss fetish

>>11257339
>over 10 years

>>11257301
if we're including non-fiction...

>>11257986
T I C K I N G. A W A Y

>>11257301

(1/3)

Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to go to the Moon. To cum. I used to masturbate in my backyard as a child,
and every time my parents caught me and asked me what I was doing I would answer, "Astrology." My parents never hindered
my personal growth as long as it had application, and boy did I ever apply some science to astrology. I failed English
because I was always writing vulgar things about the Moon and the stars, but I always did well enough in science that I
finally got a grant for a college.
Purdue University had one of the first astronauts to ever walk on the Moon, or some shit. History was piss. What
mattered though, was that I was being trained to do what I love and I had a telescope. I would jerk off over the balcony
that led out to the people hopping bars and failing school with their parents' money. One time I hit a girl right on the
hand and she didn't even notice, the shit had to have gotten all over her. It was a good aurora that night in some distant
galaxy.
I spent some time training at some shit facility for a few years before, in my late twenties, I was finally assigned
to do what I had always dreamed of. I was going to the fucking Moon. I had been on some fucking terribly unsatisfying and
cramped flights before then to orbit the planet, but I was going to make a landing and have my own shuttle there, my own
little place. I was given an apartment and a ticket to fuck on the Moon.
Astronauts are allowed to bring some small personal items that don't hinder the mission, one to three depending on
the size. They usually bring some locket with some picture of some old bitch in it or something, when the real babe is right
below them. I brought lubricant and lotion. Never confuse the two. They asked me what they were for, I told them I was
going to masturbate on the Moon. They said this would be a groundbreaking study and asked me to record the affects and
Frequency.

>>11258110

(2/3)

I already knew how this would happen, I had imagined it a million times. My cum would fly all over the shuttle,
dancing into the air like a puff of smoke until it splattered on some semi-important equipment used for measuring rocks.
When I realized I would be the first person to ever do this, at least to anyone's knowledge, I got a boner. I was going
to bust the Moon's fucking cherry. The Moon would never be the same after this stream of jizz entered the atmosphere. I
would have to make sure to quickly put my suit on and open the hatch so that it spilled to the ground.
I was going to impregnate the fucking moon. In the shuttle, my dick got a little wet at the end with precum thinking
about how not only was my dream about to come true but this would be recorded in the books as the first dude to fuck the Moon.
We might as well be married, me preparing to enter her as we speak. After the shuttle landed, I had a boner. My erection
was so stiff I was worried it would pierce the suit they had given me, so I quickly got naked. I began touching my balls.
As I sprayed the lubricant onto my cock it hung in the air a bit, the splatter drove me wild. I gripped the neck of
my cock like a gorilla squishing a banana and began to pump that rod with all my might. When I came, it felt like the first
time jizz ever spilled out of my little teenage cock. It might have felt better, the memory was so far away and the Moon
was so close. I put on my suit, carefully avoiding touching the roughly four ounces of cum and opened the hatch.

>>11258100
>404
Was it ever rehosted anywhere?

>>11258129
https://www.docdroid.net/oD0TzRB/utv.pdf

>>11258136
Thanks m80. You are good indeed.

>>11258136
jesus

>>11258136
>Officer Smate picks up a small UV light and hands it to Kentsable Phil
>KP- What is this Smate?
>OS - It's my UltraTinyViolet light
>KP - Its... its your UTV?
>OP - That's not my UTV ... you are!
Holy fuck, I lost it.

>>11258114

(3/3)

The cum hung in the air for a bit and spun around, slowly inching towards the exit. I hoped with all my might I would
not have to wipe it to the ground like some whore begging for a facial, but that it would take the load with dignity fit
of a starving mother. It opened its womb and the torrent entered it, the dust enveloping it and becoming pregnant with
my fistful of semen. The splatter made me hard again, and I rushed inside to continue.
That was it. My dream was accomplished, I was the guy who came to the Moon. I went about living and dying, thinking
about Mars but realizing we would never get there. Despite the studies taken from my event, they eventually realized their
reputation would be hurt if they allowed too many astronauts to cum on the Moon. I may have been the only one. Late in my life
though, something very strange happened.
Life on the Moon! Oh good, more fucking water germs or something was what I thought. This was not the case though, it
turned out there was some mammals fucking eachother up there. I masturbated and looked into it. Little rat-like things were
all over apparently, all of the sudden, no one was sure why but the whole planet was actually covered in them. After a few
years they evolved into something else, and something else, and so on. I knew these were my children.
Birds and bees! Turns out, evolution happens very fast in space for some reason. I imagine they survived off of rocks
and fungi like us, there didn't seem to be any real plants to speak of and yet there was an abundance of life. The more
predatory animals were the birds which had an infinite sky to hide in, and as they spread a cloud seemed to form over my
beloved Moon. They grew larger and more fierce and soon started attacking planet Earth. I was satisfied.
The nations tried to stop them but launching a nuclear missle to hit a bird seemed ridiculous and they were surprisingly
fast, dodging bullets and devouring flesh. Soon they consumed all of humanity but for some reason, they left me. When I knew
I was about to die, I grabbed one and rode it out into the farthest reaches of the atmosphere before finally dying next to
the only person I ever truly loved, the full Moon.

>>11258136
>There are a good number of homeless individuals in and around the UK. I am considering going around, and instead of handing them money, handing them UTV posts that include positive messages. I am sure the homeless will appreciate this, as they are generally unhappy and they might be glad to receive some joy from a UTV post.
>cyber ghost molestation
>My parents delight in telling that story of how I used to excrete on the floor then try to sit on the excrement like an egg. This can be seen now in my nurturing nature, I care for UTV like I cared for that faeces egg.

>>11257301

>>11257301
That Irish anon who wrote poetry. He was good as fuck.

>>11257986

>>11258716
link?

the ballad of ella and the catfish man

I quite liked this post from the other day.

I'm sorry, but did the Chargers already lose? Oh, that's right. The game isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only halftime. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is still on? The Chargers are still playing right now and they have been the best team in the AFC West for how many years now? They're playing one of the worst teams in the NFL who just happen to have a lead because they're feeding off the energy of playing in a Monday Night Game. But you know what? They still fucking suck. The Chargers are one of the best fucking teams in the NFL, they went 13-3 last year and would of won the Super Bowl if the kicker didn't choke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when the Chargers wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the Chiefs just stepped out of bounds short of the 1st down when they needed to get one, just like the Jets did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Chargers topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like the team because they're good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

>>11259334
I think about this all the time.

>>11259329
Idk man I'm sorry. He was famous here for a while, I don't think he ever really said all the poems were his but they were always about Ireland and possibly Dublin and they were fuckin great. He had probably 10 poems that someone had collected together and posted on a tumblr. Wish someone could track them down again.

>>11257301
i like the green text

>>11257339
Let us not forget the classic illustrated version

>>11259425
>>11259329
Did some digging and found it. Enjoy.
https://4poet.tumblr.com/

that guy who was writing a story about a peach farmer who hated peaches called 'practice what you peach'

>>11259480
thank you

>>11259494
found it

>>11257301
Jesus walks in Belfast is a favorite of mine

>>11259503
can't find chapter 2

>>11259514
wait nevermind, got it

>>11259517

>>11257301
>>11259512
when Jesus comes through Belfast
he spends his wisdom dear
And when his name is spoken
he makes as not to hear

He keeps well back in company
and shuts his fuckin mouth
and when he can he does his trade
a measure further south

When Jesus walks in Belfast
He keeps his cap pulled low
his step away he quickens
and those returning slow

He'd have a merry welcome
if he should take the whim
to ask the sods he suffered for
to suffer more of him.
-Anonymous

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch"

actually worth the read

Catfishman is pretty epic

the frenchman (?) who fell in love with a prostitute that resembled vampire weekend spaghetti girl is my favorite
hope he's doing ok

>>11259664
John the original Chad

anyone got the one about the woman who has dropped a whole pizza on the train but it's saved by the grease proof paper?

>>11259526
pretty good but the swearing ruins it a bit

HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YIYIYIYIYIYIyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi HAHAHAHAHAHAHaaaa raaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MAMA CORNFLAKES

maaaaaaaaaaaaaamAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

CORNFLAKeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>11258147
What's this, a prophecy for ants?

>>11259687

this is fucking gold. Here's a (You)

There was a poem about splitting a log with water or something. Wonder if that anon is still here.

yes quite pungent indeed

>>11259687
10/10

>>11259667

A good read, but didn't cry. Cool to see on /b/ people can feel feels too

>>11259436
this was a good one

my post

>>11258160

>>11257301
idk, probably some smut

>>11259436
I was in that thread, and this guy read the title of the article (something like "7 Ways to Make Sure Your Masculity is Non-Toxic") and assumed it was sincere, literal advice on emasculating yourself when it was actually blatant satire directly attacking the same mindset that this greentext was. Half of those replies were "haha yeah fuckin cucks!" who also didn't read it and half were callijg him out on not knowing what the fuck he was talking about. This was met with "yeah, but I'm sure that's secretly what they really think" or "SOME people somewhere agree with it literally" like people who don't get the purpose of The Onion.

>>11257406
I cant watch this anymore. Its too much. Its all too much. Is Naoki correct for blaming it all on capitalism?

>>11257395
>>11257406
climate change and peak oil is going to be much worse than they know, it will be our chance. People will snap out of it, their survival instincts will kick in or they'll die.

>>11259334
I'm genuinely horrified by the concept that soulless people like that frogposter exist

>>11258160
gay

>>11259324
unironically fucking based

All in all it hasnt' been a good day.... is my favorite story

Where is Kolsti?

>>11257301
i wrote a cybepunk vignette last year which was deleted almost immediately and i wrote a series of polemics against /pol/ and against neo-liberals and socialists and another against lolberts all of which either 404’d before anyone could respond or were deleted. I don’t care to be honest, some of my best writing was sperging on this board 2016-2017

>>11259334
Do you have more from this poster? I can genuinly relate to this feel.

>>11257704
>verified by multiple agencies
It literally wasn't.

I absolutely adore this. Really hope this guy gets published somewhere.

>>11258100
what was it?

>>11257411
>relative time
no, it's not

>>11262822
yeah that is good

>>11262822
that is amazing

>>11258160
Owww

>>11259664

Gaskun’s 5000 page space opera?

>>11262805
Except it came from this guy, not some anon as >>11257654 last image implies

>>11263095
Gasautist released three books from his shit on amazon. They're not in print anymore though for some reason.

>>11257301
My peenus weenus of course! Haha

>>11257301
The guy that was writing a novel(?) of which 22% so far was the word "nigger".

>>11263193
Everything that gets self-published by posters from here is an embarrassment. Pic related.

>>11263193
Last I heard He took them down to edit them and then got sidetracked with the bourbon/vampire thing.

>>11263129
>he trusts the government more than 4chan

>>11259503
>>11259514
>>11259517
>>11259522
These are fucking great
I love how dead serious they are but still retain good humor.

>>11257301

does anyone remember the story about the coming of age ritual where some kid had to like climb onto this big clear plastic tube thing and the whole tribe surrounded him to watch in anticipation but when he went to shit only spiders came out? that shit was far out

>>11257692
I hate this post

>>11262846
See >>11258136

>>11263231
He finished his vampire book recently.

>>11257418
Lmao

>>11259324

>>11257692
-10/10

>>11264597
and now they get fucked by the man who always said "Republicans have the dumbest voters" haha, the rich gettting richer, and the poor stay poor cause they are stupid

>>11259939
lol'd hard

Old Man Henderson

>>11257704
Inaccurate. It's authenticity is actually getting many people who contracted it in deep, deep, utter deep shit. It was PAID for to be FABRICATED and then pushed to the agencies who knew it was politically paid for.

>>11257301

I found this one surprisingly acerbic.

>>11264823
This anon has the seed of a good writer, whoever he is

>>11264502
I hope he's improved.

>>11257301
the last and only literary thing I really devoured in the last ~5 years was a green text.
I'd call it "Marina the escort". Incredibly powerful!

>>11264823
Anon is a good writer, but seems like a narcicist

https://yuki.la/lit/10249418

>>11265084
He said he's having it edited at the moment, so we'll see how it turns out.

>>11264635

Does anyone have the /tv/ cap with the autist who was stalking a tripfag and made an archive of all his posts? Good non-fiction

>>11263494
>he trusts 4chan

>>11266895
Nevermind it's here, and it's /sp/ >>11258100

>>11264597
Trump didn’t even win the fucking popular vote though

>>11258716
Forgot about him. He WAS good.
Why are potatoes so lyrical?

>>11261348

Is his position created independent of him? I think so, so it seems like yes. There'd be a Naoki shaped hole in Yamagata prefecture, or maybe somewhere else. There are Naoki shaped holes at all levels of society, but the ones at the bottom are still there.

>>11257301
>greatest work of original
>4chan

⊥

>>11257301
Was really charmed when I read this so I saved it (with anon's blessing).

"Free With Luise"
anon No. 10882940

HAHHA HEHEHE
me LUISE
ahaha HEEE HEEE
we were free as geese!!
AHHAHA
we pranced in the falling fleece
hee hee!!!
the steps mocked our freedom with the limitation of its muffled sound

wooo lets get warm and leave this freeze!!

we tottled off to a new hostle and made off like bunnies through the night
hehe :)))

This.

This whole tale is a brilliantly crafted exercise in diversion and frustration. OP was a fucking craftsman.

>>11268378

Or he was just severely autistic. Omg this makes me laugh so hard

>>11264823

This is well written.

>>11268378
>OP was a fucking craftsman.
Why do you think that?
This line is the only one that seems suspiciously lucid to me: "You want a detailed summary of what happened? Alright, here goes:"

>>11268378

I am reading this late at night listening to Muslimgauze and it scared the shit out of me. It's like a written david lynch scene. There is an undertone of creepiness going on in there I can't shake off.

/tv/ used to be a transcendent place

>>11264769
Shut up, racist.

>>11268378
I am very fucking confused.

>>11268518
this was quite moving

>>11259334
This is some serious autism. A man shouldn't be able to understand why a woman enjoys being a woman, but this guy doesn't exhibit masculine behavior at all.

>>11258136
I'm just in fucking awe.

>>11258136
This is amazing and disturbing

Louis CK, Wu tang Clan. In the IBG.

>>11268518
what happened to that place for real pretending like it's distant to me ;_;

>>11258136
utterly and inviolably based

>>11268502
this. At the start it was funny, but halfway through it just started to get weird, like a literary uncanniness.

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPsnnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

>>11259875
This, but only because I wrote for it.

>>11257704
I’d respect trump more if it was real, maybe someday I’ll be rich and confident enough to do watersports with Russian chicks

>>11259875
>that beautiful crisp Cochin type
>blurry 'roman'

>>11266905
>4chan in its 14 year existence has a higher rate of lying and nepotism than a sovereignty dating back to the 18th century

>>11259334

This sounds like a line of thought of a Mishima novel, written worse

>>11264705
>>11266915
Living in your brain
Rent
Free
:)

>>11260603
>with "yeah, but I'm sure that's secretly what they really think" or "SOME people somewhere agree with it literally" like people who don't get the purpose of The Onion.

what's incorrect about those statements? the onion satirises attitudes that exist. thats the whole point.

>>11257301

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

* ~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

>>11268378
Brilliant

btw what board is this from? seems so shitpostless

▲
▲ ▲

>>11266237
This Eliot would have benefited from a Pound

>>11259664
Well John, I don't want to be narcissistic but I think that I look better than you.
Especially because I don't know if you are transgender lesbian or just a faggot.

>>11268378
the prose is so fucking good it reads like combray proust or something

>>11271329
Oh my Jesus. He actually took the bait.

>>11271329

>>11268378
no op was a sixth grader

>>11271021
>06/09/2008

>>11257307
Humanity fuck yeah is the gayest shit
/tg/ is easily the most Reddit board on this website

>>11258136
What the hell

>>11259814
Escortanon's story was one for the ages, and he could write a damn good line of greentext as well

>>11259687
Literary as fuck

>>11257418
so the guy was a ghost the whole time?

>>11264597
>it's a /pol/ pretends to side with the "working man" thread before going on to bootlick the 1% who is literally cucking them and tell anyone who isn't a billionaire that they need to put themselves up by their bootstraps.

>>11264597
Trump was backed by a cabal of billionaires in real estate and finance, the DoD, rw elements in the CIA and spooks in the Defense industry. His rise to power was as organic as stormniggers flooding onto 4chan and reddit was

>>11273052
It's so fucking annoying when they pretend to care about workers

>>11268378
Related>>11268426

>>11257704
Shill spotted. Fuck off

>>11259334
>I like masturbating to women in pictures or in video (though even then I feel disgusted that these are actual people after I'm done)
I relate to this to an extreme extent, is this just porn addiction or something more pathological?

>>11273234
Feeling disgusted after porn is pretty common, take that as you will

>>11271850
No OP is 16 and his sister is 17

>>11273052
>>11273077
I understand your complaint and that is a valid concern but I would give credit to Trump. He didn't portray himself a prole as Dubya did. If anything he was quite open

Nothing triggers me most than Dubya. The North East WASP elite who is rich since 500 generations pretending to be downtoearth cowboy from texas that `you can have a beer with`

Fucking hell what a shitshow early 2000s were

>>11269350
Please, post more brapwürts

>>11257692
terrible post. kill yourself, FAG-GOT.

>>11273052
You're the person who made the thing that company is taking credit for and they will fight tooth and nail with salary increases and improved benefits to keep you, the golden goose, on board. So who exactly is the cuck?

>>11260603
No clue what the fuck you're trying to say, but you realize that article was in The New Yorker, not The Onion, right?

>>11273052
You're going to die alone. Accept this.

>>11268502
>>11269296
>There is an undertone of creepiness going on in there I can't shake off.
It's only there that the literary uncanniness is within all memes, digitized media, etc. Try imagining the endless shitposting here as another language of contexualization, with alien layers to each component of communicative imagery, and the transmissions being an operation of its own regard. It's psyops all the way down

>>11259667
Had a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach when she started to get worse. Fuck.

Saved this one from a while back.
Still read it time to time

>>11276004
wow what sucks is that you are that piece of shit the text describes but subs the word chick for "myself". You are sad.

>>11276030
Roastie pls leave

>>11276050
This is the best piece of writing I've found on 4chan and I'm the one being roasted. A perfect parody of classic /pol/ insecurity. Wow.

>>11276065
Imagine waking up everyday being this much of a fuckwit.
Wow.

>>11276004
>>11259334
being a woman truly is existentially horrifying

just think of this, men are better at literally every activity, hobby, skill, talent, job, art, science, and so forth, EVER, in human history

women are only better at having vaginas and being mothers

>>11276087
women are better at differenitating between colors, maybe for gathering food
theyre probably also better at raising children, and forming their weird social circles

men are better at hunting and being autistic

really its a sad state all around

>>11276093
yeah.. seems like a fair division of talent, there

>>11276111
>the average man is like Darwin
m8 pls.

>>11276087
This post is funny bc it implies every women who HAS done shit better than men is on another plane of intelligence than this sorry /pol/ster/

>>11276126
no i am only talking about how truly world-surpassing genius seems to be limited exclusively to men, and then for every grade down from that, men outnumber women by a thousand

for every "genius" woman, there are a thousand male geniuses, to the point that one can't even remember them all, whereas one remembers the woman precisely because she's so rare in comparison

likewise for "good" and even "average" men/women. go to the middling ranks of any skill, vocation, etc. and you will find men doing almost all the legwork, all the innovative work, all the shit that needs to be done, while only a few women are competent enough to do the same.

it's sad, i feel really bad for women and i don't want this to be the case but it's empirically true.

the story about the pretentious religious guy going down from his hermitage in the mountain and getting into a fight with some farmer or something saw it like two years ago

>>11276137
Fortunately I'm not a genius so it wasn't too difficult to find a gf as smart as I am.

>>11276141
>Fortunately I'm not a genius
>Fortunately ... it wasn't too difficult

ask me how i know you're a woman, o gender that has never produced a single newton or plato or napoleon

>>11276154
Ask me how I know you're an undergrad who finished your general history requirement.

>>11276111
>wow a representative sample
>history has nothing to do with this
>me and my dad do/don't get along

>>11276137
You wrote that yes

>>11260289
>>11275978
this story actually showed me that live could always be worse

>>11276004
Isn't this a copypasta? I've seen one with a Nietzche photo attached and the whole thing green texted.

>>11269010
/TVs guides still speak of a time when there were true patricians on board. Sad.
Nowadays it’s filled with low iq idiots hating mainstream shit but swallowing everything the industry shoves down their mouth instead of looking up from the table and take a look around

>>11257301
"What if Alan Moore wrote Naruto?"

>>11279498
>"What if Alan Moore wrote Naruto?"

>>11258136

Absolutely fantastic for more reasons that I can even express

>>11274318
>Fucking hell what a shitshow early 2000s were

You speak as though we're out of that dynamic. Not at all. Trump is an aberration, a Hail Mary save out of nowhere. True, he has triggered cultural shifts, but not to the degree of truly overturning the establishment. While he could not be more different, the rest of the Right Wing pretty much acts as though the days of Dubya are back.

>>11259324
>the first samefag

Travelogue

"Pray What is the news from Babylon?
Does Xerxes ancient town,
Still hold inside the Lion's Pride?
where once the world bowed down?"
"There is no tale of Babylon,
that great long-storied land
The Lion's gates are broken now.
The fields are choked with sand"

"You Tread the Path from Illion
Where gods and men did greet,
Does Priams mighty forteress still,
Show all assault defeat?"
"What gods have sown, the raven reaps,
I offer you no joy
neath broken stones her treasure sleeps
I bear no news of Troy."

"Speak, pilgrim, of Jerusalem,
I know you passed that way.
The palmer's badge adorn's you yet:
does David's line hold sway?"
"Where prophets sowed the seed of love,
the weeds of hate now grow:
the peace that was Jerusalem
was broken long ago."

"well, traveller, What of Camelot?
does Arthur's blood still reign?
Do boldy go the shining knights
across the feudal plain?"
"A trusted friend's betrayal;
a bastard's vaunting greed.
The moon that watches camelot
sees stones upon a mead."

"Good host, I beg you, ask no more
you waken in my mind
the shadows of vain, fallen hopes
I fain would leave behind.
You long for comfort; this i know,
that grandeur might abide,
that strength of stone and arms and hearts
can bear the waxing tide,
And Gilgamesh the strong yet stands
upon his mighty wall.
That works endure the waning sands,
that towers might not fall.
Content yourself that legends live
where men are just or brave,
and deeds of lives may yet survive
their castles in the grave.
I will not comfort you with hopes
that Rome may live again;
don't ask me of Tenoctitlan,
I've no news from Berlin.
In sorrow i depart you now;
regretting lenten cheer.
But the road is long
towards London town,
i cannot linger here."

>>11257301
[Catalog]

>>11257301
>Nobody mentioned leftopia
The pdf is in the original content section of the lit wiki.

>>11271205

Bro...

>>11283125
Saved

>>11272035
/tg/ is a reddit hobby