/lit/ - Literature

>>11253936
I should have killed myself when I had the chance.

I really want to go out and get drunk but that won't happen, now that I have a child.

>>11253945
*Crash* We got a new golden retriever! xD

I should work on my diploma but I feel really lazy
also I want to work as a freelancer in a long term because I don't feel like spending most of my life in a place I don't want to be but seeing how I fail to deal with laziness even with the most urgent work I don't think that freelance is my way to go

My dream job was to be a librarian.

Now that im a librarian I realize it's actually a boring and frustrating job where you spend more time trying to explain shit to the retarded mayor of your town and his associates than to really select books.

Also you have to spend a shitton of time working with children nowadays... and I fucking hate children.

Idk how it is elsewhere, but here in France being a librarian is not different than being a social service worker. Fuck that.

>>11253936
I've done nothing all day. I can feel myself becoming more and more retarded as the months roll by. I've lost enjoyment in everything I once liked - I can't even listen to classical music without cringing, as if somebody had dragged his nails on a chalkboard. The worst part is, I'm not really sure if my life could have ever been anything other than what it is now - I've never been particularly intelligent, nor particularly attractive. My only regret is the disappointment towards my parents that I am going to cause, but I don't know how to prevent it. I've tried to make myself believe in God, but with every try I start to believe that, if God exists, then I am probably what the Bible calls a reprobate, so even the existence of God and the truth of Christ can't save me. I am incredibly afraid of death.

>>11253952
just abandon it

>>11253936
I'm tired. My head hurts. My eyes beg to close. 60% of my days thoughts are, "how will this affect my blood sugar?". My back and shoulder ache from a not quite healed torn ligament. I think if I could go to the gym again I could get back the endorphin high I'm missing and my depression would fade, but I'm afraid of making my back worse. I've aged 50 years in 5 months and it's starting to feel like I'll never be young again.

>been real down lately, eating almost exclusively yoghurt, nuts and bananas, drinking mostly monster, spend every day on internet, wanting to die, can't go outside because they're laughing at me
>yesterday 3 am; been up since wednesday, try to sleep
>every sound is someone coming to throw me out or in jail, become intensely aware of how filthy and messy my apartment is and how they're sending someone to check on me anytime who will discover it and throw me out
>heart racing, shirt soaked, never been this awake before
>stay up until 7:45 obsessively scrolling through 4chan, listening to loud music to distract myself, pounding monsters
>ice shower
>they're coming to take me, but atleast I'll be on my feet fighting
>take out all the trash that's laying about in bags, covering up entire desk and a chair
>buy everthing I need at store
>do 2 weeks worth of dirty dishes
>thoroughly clean coffee machine where mold has grown in the pot
>dust
>clean
>dust, clean bathroom, toilet
>suddenly tired, lose about one hour sitting in chair trying not to fall asleep
>remember that I haven't eaten meat in days, proper meat in maybe a month
>walk outside
>buy everthing I need at store
>cook dinner for the first time in months
>fall asleep at 7 pm and sleep 18 hours
Does this mean I'm a manic?

>>11253936

I wish I could still think.

>have the day all to myself
>do fuckall for my writing
>have to be somewhere in like 30 minutes
>oi vey, now's a good time to be inspired!

>>11253952
trade it for booze

>>11253936
I coulod have had coffee with the girl I like, she stopped me an we had a chat as we walked shoulder to shoulder.
As we passed by a Coffee Place she saying stuff like : "I wonder what the coffee from that place is like ... I head they make some ggod cakes". I couldn't read the situation at first and started telling her about another place that I visit often till we got too far from the first coffee place. At that point she was like : "Yeah, it was nice talking to you, see you around"

When I realized how much I fucked up, I couldn't stop thinking about it and spent the money I could have used for the coffee and sweets to buy a six pack of bear and drink myself to oblivion.

>>11253936
I'm working out every day and masturbating less. It's hard, hope it pays off

It sucks when you're watching an interview where neither party clarifies much on the concept so you're left with only a few valuable pieces of advice surrounded by a bunch of muddled info with no way of telling whether or not you're on the same page.

Maybe my friend is embarassed of me. We only hangout in my room, and when I see him hanging out with his other friends, he clearly wants me to leave

>>11254526
He wants your tender asshole

>>11253936
y-y-y-y-yikes, a negro! Oh golly that sure was a shock. Boy oh boy though aren't we all lucky that's just a jaypeg and not a real one. I can't imagine how shocking it would be to see a real life nigger!

She's on my mind again. The past couple of months have been the worst emotional rollercoaster I've ever ridden but the ride just doesn't seem to end. Had I not gotten so attached to one person I would not have sat here listening to music and drowning myself in tears.
She's over it. Meanwhile I can't help but cling to the memories of the time we spent together, of the things we planned to do and of all the times she said she loves me.
I've been doing my best to pull off some mental gymnastics but something as insignificant as a thought, a line from a song or the smell of perfume is enough to turn me into the same lonely, weeping mess that I was when we broke up.
I want someone to pour my heart and soul out to, someone to love, to spend the rest of my days with.
She was that someone and now she's gone.

>>11253936
First day of the week where anxiety hasn't tortured me so. Feels good.

>>11254308
>I can't even listen to classical music without cringing, as if somebody had dragged his nails on a chalkboard
dont be silly anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uY1XXgCPJs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1D0RuaOxoI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqNeBIZacgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etb1DfG-w1M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPAPxpfIUKY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNZwgNlhmG8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5931M1e_vw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc61z1KYanw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICyFxaMlfII&t=0s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6_rA-hbReg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFgOo7TsDEs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpOOJWTT_LY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7gRdfqOGPI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PTTnyCKBj4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnIDTOR9EkM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiMZ4QQnQNU

>>11253936
Two years of being a NEET from fear of interacting with people, I am finally getting help and I won't take anti depressants again, that's just a cope out and a bandaid over my actual problems.

>>11254795
I think the cringe comes from the music seeming to cheery, most of those are alright however

>>11253936
what the fuck is on your mind, fool.

>>11253936
I caught up with an old friend for the first time in years the other day. First time in god knows how long that I've gone 10 minutes without wanting to shoot myself. It was nice.

the longer I go without porn the more I want to be tied down and seduced into steamy passionate sex with a femboy

Is it a dick move to not show up to a wedding?
It's almost 3 hours away, and I'm the only person I'll know there other than the groom, who I haven't even spoken to in like 5 months

My lifenhas been completely shitty most of the time, yet I am totally numb about it. I read other anons stories how they are crushed by all this shit that to me seems mediocre in terms of emotional struggle. I am afraid that I will walk through my life not giving shit about anything, and will finalize it by shooting myself at age 70, knowing that I never lived life, only endured it, not giving a fuck.

>>11253936
>Wants to buy alcohol
>lives in shit little town where everyone knows each other
>doesn't want their stares on him or get talked behind his back
Get me the fuck out of here

>>11255079
How old are you? Why does it matter if you buy alcohol?

>>11254166
>a custodian of books bought by the statw
>almost everyone who reads is forced to by school
>why is this so boring?
>>11254353
it means you’re depressed and need to help yourself
>>11254412
>oy vey xD
>>11254526
yes you are correct
>>11254826
good for you fag
>>11254978
if they are a close friend yes its extremely disrespectful without a valid excuse
>>11255079
lol faggot christfaggot

I'm Jeiwsh! And if you don't like it then take a hike!

>>11253936
i really need to study more, being this kind of slack is shameful times two

this year my favorite imageboard died and now the replacement i went to died as well.
t. bernst

>>11255162
>>11255190
Not a religious thing.
I'm way pass the age of drinking if that's what you are wondering, the thing is people obviously don't have a high opinion of drunkards and tend to associate the single element with the family. So it basically compromises the reputation, social interaction and even job.

>>11253936
chaotic evil
>>11253945
true neutral
>>11253952
lawful neutral
>>11253959
chaotic neutral
>>11253968
neutral good
>>11254166
true neutral
>>11254308
neutral evil
>>11254313
chaotic neutral
>>11254328
lawful good
>>11254353
true neutral
>>11254399
true neutral
>>11254412
true neutral
>>11254435
chaotic neutral
>>11254480
lawful neutral
>>11254489
lawful good
>>11254524
neutral good
>>11254526
neutral good
>>11254550
neutral evil
>>11254557
chaotic neutral
>>11254572
neutral good
>>11254611
neutral good
>>11254795
neutral good
>>11254826
lawful neutral
>>11254863
true neutral
>>11254875
chaotic evil
>>11254889
neutral good
>>11254966
chaotic neutral
>>11254978
true neutral
>>11254982
true neutral
>>11255079
chaotic neutral
>>11255162
lawful neutral
>>11255190
chaotic evil
>>11255221
neutral good
>>11255255
lawful good

>>11255357

Fuck you I'm a Topaz Dragon, I'm Chaotic Neutral

>>11255318
being a peasant who cares about what human cattle think must be difficult
>>11255357
i am chaotic neutral how dare you

>>11255260
These sites shouldn't be necessary for your well-being. Perhaps it's time to reconsider your priorities.

>>11255357
Do one for every thread.

>>11255366
maybe but it sucks not having them around

>>11255357
chaotic neutral

>>11255363
>>11255364
>gayotic nötrel :DD

(You)

>>11255425
lawful neutral

would anyone care to have a chat on omeagle ?
tag is literature

>>11253936
I want to own guns and shoot home intruders as I am reading and not fully comprehending philosophy.

it seems like there's so many lonely people these days... why all the alone people become friends with each other?

>>11255859
Also I can't stop alternating between feeling happy and confident and anxious and reclusive.

I am terribly unsatisfied with my life. Why is it that I must be shackled to the mediocrity of living with my parents? Kept low in this hellish economic stupidity brought about by intellectually sterile dimwits who dictate this country. I have no possibility to attain autonomy lest I subject myself to undesired achievements, so that with the wealth that I'll attain from this dreadful detour I can finally have no restrictions to pursuing deeply meaningful achievements - a fulfilling life. But as of right now I'm ashamed of my current situation; I do not deserve to burden other people with my pathetic incredulity, so I am alone, and hopelessly desiring the days that will never come.

>>11255846
yea keep refreshing till we connect

>>11255875
there's a reason if people are lonely . They either want it or are noxious to the point of driving people away

My friend acted like a total jerk yesterday. Once again. More and more I'm realising I dislike the way he expresses himself sometimes, and it gets way worse when he's drunk.
I thought it was only towards me, but when I see him interacting with other people, I'm thinking the same; he's interrupting them and can never admit he's wrong. I'm afraid this might climax in a fight some day, as of yet I have no idea how to tell him.

Asians will never experiene the smell of their own sweat. I pity them.

>>11255880
You talk like a fag and your shits all retarded

>>11255846
joined.
There better be cuties in there

>>11255357
I've always hated the "3x3" good-evil-neutral, chaotic-lawful-true, matrix.
I've always thought people who took them seriously were not that smart and the people who made them or go about making judgements on the basis of that chart, are profoundly mentally ill.

>>11256271
hmm.. you must be a scorpio

i am too much of a brainlet to properly understand poetry, literature and philosophy beyond a surface level

I just walked past a homeless man yelling at nothing and it made me think
what does it mean to be a person
if you strip down everything that doesn't technically make a human a person, what is left?

>>11256661
featherless biped

>>11256670

>>11256661

A self-concept of some sort.

>>11253936
The beer shits won't end.

>>11257084
It's not the beer it's the junk food you are when you were drunk. That's a protip son.

You've probably never heard this one before: I want to die

>>11255221
I will take a hike, kike.

>>11254308
Read a book instead of doing nothing

>>11253936
The world is a fiddlehead

I want to move my bookshelf out of my room since it's large and in the way. I'm cleaning my room (not on the recommendation of Peterson) because I let it get too cluttered in my phase of uncaring. My organisation was put aside but I am slowly returning to it and my routines. I missed them. They were comforting. I am not a chaotic person.

Anyway, I don't really know where to put my books. I have smaller shelves they could go on. No one goes in my room so I am not doing it for display purposes. I thought about getting this antique chest I saw at the antique store and putting them there. Or building one. Not sure yet.

I am also debating whether I am going to quit smoking. I, like an old man, smoke a pipe. I am getting tired of it though, and smoking in general. Nicotine has been giving me some bad nausea lately. I usually just go out to my shed, light a candle, open the door, watch my dogs play or nature, and smoke. I could do that without smoking, though. I bought tobacco last week and I don't want to waste it. It's honestly a tough choice.

Back to cleaning, I guess.

>>11257323
If you are serious about quitting then you will toss the tobacco.

>>11257323
mail me your pipe

>>11257436

I could just put it in a jar and find someone that wants it. I have stupid good willpower when I want to follow through. Gave up eating meat a year ago despite living in a meat eating house. I am ashamed to say I have relapsed in two instances. Once with chicken my mom made and the last with beef jerky. Before that I hadn't touched the stuff for months and I will admit it was difficult since everything everywhere always smells like cooking meat.

If I want to quit I can without throwing it out. That would make me think of those people that take pictures of them running water over a brand new pack of cigarettes. I understand but it is ridiculous.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Just trying to figure out how to live life without friends.

Going to graduation tomorrow. I'm extremely worried what to do with my life now. I'm going to college, but I'm not sure what I want to do and scared if I make the wrong choice for a major. I also have never had a job and don't have any friends because of social anxiety. I mainly just stay home and play video games. I'm so nervous to live in the dorms. I want a job this summer or in college. I really want to have friends in college. I just want to start the next stage of my life on the right foot and be happy, but I'm scared it'll just be a miserable continuation of high school.

>no new messages
fuck I need more friends

I wrote this for a novel I was writing but I don't think I can actually make it work in-universe just because of the fact that the main character would never willfully get into the situation.

>The room was sparsely decorated, with cheap carpets and ceiling tiles. It almost reminded Craig of his high school, except for hooks hanging from the ceiling. Suddenly, it all clicked.
>"Wait, so, Mr. Nuremberg, you make porn."
>"Pornography is such a dirty word, Greg. I do fetish photography. Even a picture of a goddamn hamburger could be considered 'pornographic' under the right cases."

Heaven knows I'm miserable now

Life is a constantly accelerating treadmill of expectations and obligations- one where if you fall off even once, then society will take a big shit on you every day until you die.

>>11253936
I love Tolkien, but I never browse /lit/. Is it okay to love Tolkien or you faggots are like /mu/? I mean, do you read obscure hipster shit just to feel special?
I was thinking about that.

don't know what to do

>>11258089
same

>>11257663
This. Unironically.

make this kitty
yeah finger the right side of the corner
do that, dubs meme
femanon do it pls
Are you here Kitty
try to lick a nipple
make a nazy salute
She's our new queen.
Get fucked by a nigger
face of an pain orgasm
Everytime I get in a fight with my wife, banging a little submissive feminine boy starts sounding better and better.
I'M DRUNK AND FUCKED MOTHERFUCKER
How does one go about valuing themselves?
What if nothing makes you happy?
Women's lives don't matter. They treated me like shit from the moment I was born. I have zero reasons to care about them. They can all get raped and die.
You sound like the A typical millennial pussy boy who gets bullied for his obesity and greasy hair even tho he actually lives in the room next to the bathroom.
im a blacksmith as a hobby
I love documentaries
I can whistle with my nose
Genetics are a bit more complicated in my case
Sink with me.

ok my dudes remember the other day how we were talking shit about some nufag who like unironically believed worf-sapir, so i was thinking ok so our language isn't really what we think it's just a translation layer over our actual thoughts...so doesn't that mean the chinese room thing is bullshit? like the guy translating the stuff based on the algorithm is like the language part of your brain, but the algorithm is like the thinking part...so like if languages are just a interchangable protocol on top thought process serving as a sort of compatibility layer to talk to other people, why would that be different than the chinese room? the chinese room guy is just the language layer, and the algorithm is the thought process core...idk lol i used to think chinese room smoked any chance of ai but now i dont, ai is probably still impossible but not cuz of that, or am i wrong tell me why im retarded

>>11253936
I've become a recluse.

I'm a lovesick loser pining over someone who isn't meant for me and i can't stop. I've never felt a close human connection with anyone man or woman due to my fucked up childhood and it hurts not to have her as a constant part of my life. Every time i get in my car i want to take off my seatbelt and hit a tree going fast. Last night i was going 110 mph down the Merritt parkway and the trees on the median had a near magnetic pull on me.

After spending my entire life ignoring and repressing my emotions, finally having them firmly in the forefront is agonizing on a scale i never knew was possible.

The only reason i haven't killed myself was that she told me not to, but her voice is getting farther away and the words we becoming indistinct. When i picture her face the edges are starting to blur.
I don't think I'm going to make it.

>>11258328
Me too. We really need to get out ad talk to people more often.

>>11258306
My parents banned me from the house for a moth, because I gave my little sister a wedgie hard enough to rip her thong off. I did it because she kicked me in the nuts
tfw you will never make tender love to a sweet goblina
he makes female characters in skyrim
I am friendly. Hug me please.
how ugly are you bots?
I GOT SCAMMED
tell me a better joke then my life
Anyone else just hate/not care about everything? I don't know what I want from life
Struggle is manhood, what have you done to improve yourself today?
I cant take it anymore I just graduated high school a few days ago and I want to know if life gets better now because honestly my lifes been pure shit these last four years
My two nephews (6 and 8) are addicted to their iPads and Minecraft.
tfw you hit your daily quota of telling faggots to kill themselves
what do you do about the cravings?
This is going to be another sad summer with no gf
what should the age of consent be? for me honestly? 20. and abortion should be illegal and condoms made 2x as expensive
I want to go home
Please, I want to go home.
I'm so tired and disappointed
I'm taking a shit at work. Ask me anything right now before i flush.
Day of the Spray when lads?
It's all falling, I've fucked up. I wish I could have happiness, I wish I could be saved. There is no one coming to save me. I've been falling for so long
I fucked up man.
I feel like my soul has been ripped from my chest.

>>11258321
there are many more words and meanings in a dictionary than a person can know. What thoughts do people have that are not contained in words? or images?

the other day i felt the need to fap so i took it out and was fappin it till it was hard as steel and then my roommate came back so i dropped it back down my shorts and went on like nothing happened, now i feel like it added a week onto my nofap, nofap is all wrong, fappin is fine, nonut it what u need, half these nofap fags who be goin months without getting mad horny probably just bustin off nuts in they sleep without realizing it

>>11258352
bars

I'm almost, but not quite, alone in a new desert town. I drove my rusted out pickup down the mountain and through the dust towards the library. I was barefoot and lost in those stacks for hours. When I broke out to ask the bored women at the desk how to get a card, they told me that even if I was living there, if I didn't have any documents from the great state of New Mexico, there would be a $15 charge to use the library. A PUBLIC library. It didn't take much pondering to walk the hell out of there. The long drive up the mountain gave way to a righteousness in my being. This was a crusade. Or it would be a scam. At the peak I contacted Danny, one of to friends in town. My text had a plan for a fraudulent library card, like a fake ID, but with less mystique. In a few exchanges he stopped exchanging. Bored. Uninterested.
That's what hits me. It wasn't a noble crusade or a devious scheme. It was nothing. Just mundane. I always knew that. What I want isn't the card. I want a crusade and the scheme, but more than that, I want a reason to be around Danny or my other friend. It's always about turning the mundane into something more and sharing it with those around you. But when I tried, I found that there was no one around me. I pulled and prodded, but as much as I messaged him or riled up people on the mountain, the mundane returned to it's natural state and I am here alone in the thick of it.
I know I write like a faggot. It's okay.

>>11258367
well it's true u need SOME kind of language, and it seems related to memory since everyone's memory only comes online after language acquisition but the point of sapir-whorf is that the language doesnt affect what you think about...so that means language is interchangable, so like doesnt that mean there's something below language forming these thoughts that then get transferred up to the language layer like a packet of data going up your network stack until it goes across the wire

>>11258390
yo u shud look into meth, one day i was stuck in line at the post office as this slowmo hindu man behind the glass gradually serviced the line, there were like these two tweakers in line in front of me, and like for them mailing a tacky little ceramic tourist nicknack was like the most epic adventure, they were like omg how do we know it wont break, wait what about jimmy joebob is home, should we go, omg what about tape oh fuck oh fuck quick go to the dollar store and get tape, quick before the line movies, omg whos that on the phone, answer it, no! oh hey ya im at the post office, oh my god the meter, the meter, fuuuuck... i was like wow this boring ass line is an absolute thrill for these people

>>11258391
I think sapir whorf is the different languages can influence different patterns of thinking, where people grow up.

But its not absolute: think of the feeling of hunger, or thirst, the attraction to food, sex, desire, love, seeing beauty, these experiences can be experienced by different people different languages all over the world.

i dont think sapir worf is so significant in this topic, at least as little as i know about it: its only like: some obscure country may not have words for so and so words, and therefore they may not experience or think about those things: or maybe even how certain sounds and aesthetics phonetics can infuence thought patterns

>>11255357
>>11258390
Do me please. It would mean a lot to me if something answered back when I rambled into the airwaves

>>11258421
Haha, I'm from rural Missouri. That would be entirely too fitting.
Great post though, thanks

I don't believe in fate, or much at all. I am insecure and cursed with an internal self-hatred I mask well. But something in me burns with this feeling of destiny, like I am bound for greatness. Rationally I know I'm not, that no one is anything more than what they make themselves, circumstances permitting. But this feeling won't leave me. It's like a tiger in my belly, roaring, screaming, feral and hot for some Greatness I feel bound toward. The irony of these feelings that I cannot change is that I am not specifically well-talented, and this contradiction of self is tearing me apart. I am a paradox, and oxymoron of light and dark.
Or, obtuse poetry aside, I am intrinsically manic with self-prophecy and mania, and it hurts more that in actuality I am the opposite of what I feel to be,

is no-fap legit

>>11258423
yea its like how greeks didnt have a word for blue so suppose they might say its a clear sky where as some persian mother fucker might say its blue, but they both no what is meant, so the language doesnt matter, that means there is some fundamental experience under the language, idk nevermind when in doubt im just going to assume its because im retarded

ex-con here.
im 6'6, 250 lbs of muscle, got gangbanged my first night by white supremists...they said to estabilish dominance because i was so big and they couldnt take a risk for a power shift.they explained to me in a very respectable manner before they gangbanged me, that it was needed to let the hierarchy stay the same and not challenge the guys in for 20+ years which finally got this power status. I respected my gangbang in a way to let the young loco'guys have their leader, because id be out in a year anyway. I had no desire to be a leader nor be up in the food chain. So they gangbanged the shit out of me, the biggest guy in the entire block, and the long timers respected the boss even more. created some sort of, steady power hold of the whites, even after I was gone, 5 years later, the same guy still ran the show.i didnt fight the gangbang, it was more a display of fucking the big guy, in a way all the supremists knew why it happend. it was more of a deep poetic respect of power gangbang. they knew i would pose a risk if i was not penetrated.Alright it is gonna take a while. you gotta realize Im the type of guy, that is an enforcer, but im small at the same time and keep on the down low because im chill like that. They caught me slanging a pound of marijuana with some gummy bears laced with LSD, they weighed the gummy bears with the drugs, so they sentenced me to a year in the pin. you gotta remember im a big fucking guy, I can kill people with one blow type of fella. So I come to my block, and everyone knows what is gonna happen, I, myself, means a power shift. There is gonna be automated nature submissiviness by my sheer size alone, disregarding boss capabilities, ie: shanking, loyals, etc. the size of me would visually destroy this social hocus focus. So they tested me here and there, nothing big, but I was started getting followers myself and this is where the boss invited me in the yard one day and said: We all know you are a nice guy and have nothing to do with this gang shit we longtimers are pulling off here, but im starting to feel a unsettlement in the fucking pond, and you are it big guy. So here is whats gonna happen, here see us here us fellas here, (20-30 guys) are gonna tell everyone what is gonna happen too, even other races, that you, will be gangbanged without resist or noise, to settle this little physchial appearance you have, which, we all know, in nature terms of visuality, is dominanting. Post gang bang? pfff, just nobody noticed me. everyone just kinda nodded out of respect like i was some 80 year old for lifer, left alone. cuz they all knew why i was gangbanged, for power stability. that was what it was all about.you think inmates cannot create some shawshank redemption shit after a while? you think everyone is just some wild crazed, that see through the deep shit and just disses everything? this fucking block had seen so much fucking bloodshed, now they finally had some pecking order, I come around, and they all

>>11258460
yeah but dont you think a dictionary contains more experience than the average person (does in a day)? If a person started to read the dictionary they would experience more than the average person does in a day?

>>11258452
i like to tell myself no, but the last time i got laid it was when i couldnt wack it for like 2 months so i finally seduced a chick somehow...and come to think of it around that time i was also super productive cranking out mad code...in threads i always argue its bullshit, but i have to be honest its probably good, if slightly overrated

also reducing your food intake is just as good as nofap, any time u feel hungry dont just go and crab a snack, let yourself get some real hunger first, i find being hungry increases my willpower a lot

I fucked up. I took a girl on a date earlier and it was going great we got Buffalo Wild Wings and I got my usual mango habenaro wings afterwords we went back to my place and started watching Netflix first it was just kissing she started giving me head, I ended up eating her out and fingering her and she ran to the bathroom she was crying and I didn’t know why the spice of the wings stayed on my fingers and I ended up fingering her with spicy fingers and she left, I tried texting her but she hasn’t replied am I fucked? Have any of you fucked up this bad?

>>11253936
>>11253936
I like being a faggot. I like to suck dick. I like to fuck other men in the ass. I like watching petite little asian men getting their faces bathed in my white-hot seed.
Fuck ya'll. I'd suck the dick of every man here and be proud.

ok so today i went to a concert and as soon as I get through security two girls walk up to me and hit on me. i sadly fucking cock blocked myself by not asking for their numbers. should i kill myself?

>>11258468
what? that's kind of retarded, words are just an approximation of experience, like a digital recording of a waveform, having more vocab might improve the "bitrate" but you still experienced the same shit

>>11253936

I had a really good time playing with [friend1], [friend2] and [friend3]. The jams were really tight and it sounded like the free-jazz black metal that I've been waiting to hear. I found some interesting ways to keep the tension going even if I'm not wilin' out with something fast. Talking with the gang was a time too since I got to hear about [friend1]'s old job as a dominatrix and how she got out of it and this horrible relationship she was in (not with her SO, but with a energy suck musician) and hearing her talk was mesmerizing because there was so much raw and recent emotion behind it that would sometimes break the surface of her face and voice but I was being really attentive and saying "oh shit" or "that's heavy", almost like helping cut a path through a jungle and getting to the other side of it. I bet that's what psychoanalysis feels like, at least for Lacan. We play a last jam and then [friend1] heads for a show and then [friend2], [friend3] and I sit on the floor and chat for a bit more before leaving. I show off that remix to Alright that I did a while ago. I walk to the bus and my knee is feeling pretty good after giving it a modicum of exercise. I liked how everyone gave each other hugs when leaving - I like spreading that disease.

How do I get the motivation to do things and not just mope around like a maudlin faggot all day

>>11258390
I think I know what you mean. Longing for adventure, "something more" in the mundane. I guess I'm just repeating your words. Well.. I know the feeling. I think it's called being a romantic. Or something.

>>11258507
when i was younger i used to be motivated by getting pussy, not that women give a shit about anything dudes do other than shower them with attention, but then as i got older and less horny and more failed academically now everything is in an attempt to make up for not having a phd

>>11258488
that anon, or you if you are he, was saying about how language is a big deal.... in thought.. well it certainly helps to store and organize... but before language was invented, there was still memory, and understanding and thought, and cats and dogs have dreams.

so idk what that anon or you were talking about ai... concious ai? video camera that knows what it is recording..

consciousness/intelligence can exist without language

because the language, primal language, is vision, images, relations between images, casual, physical, logical, relations between images of objects.

Language is symbolizing objects and their relations.

The ball rolls on the green lawn and then hits the stair.

A video camera can capture that event. The mind is a video camera that captures that event. Humans with language have developed symbolic code that can harness the physical reality events and toss physical reality events over distances of space, by mouth, or paper, or internet like these words: more efficiently, then if I had to bring a ball and grass and stairs to show you in person.

I know words are aprox of experience. But almost all experience is codified, is broken into words, and dictionary has all words. So almost, all experience.

The interesting part we are discussing maybe, is that which cannot be put into words. Or all the ways words come up short, in simply exactifying the feeling and realness of being consciously on and being and thinking and feeling and breathing and looking.

So what anon was talking about AI, is it that, there is necessarily an unpassable fated break between how intelligent an ai can possibly be, without being conscious? What can we want AIs to do? What could the most intelligent but non conscious AIs be capable of? What are their limits? What would we hope a concious most intelligent ai would be capable of? what could the most intelligent AIs possible in the future, be wanted to be used for?

>>11253936
How to balance knowledge and a comfortable life? Averting my eyes from all the ugly things in the world doesn't seem to be a sensible choice, but at the same time, drowning myself in "redpills" isn't doing me any favours.
There must be a balace, a sweet spot somewhere...
Monastic life? Living away from the city and the overwhelmeing information? Nihilism?
I can't be the only one struggling with this.

>>11258544
well the idea of the chinese room thing is that they guy implementing the algorithm doesnt understand chinese so therefor even if he passes a turing test of whatever, there was no understanding happening...but to what extent is there "understanding" happening in humans? if humans arent influenced by their language that means thought is happening at a layer below language and language is just a protocol to communicate, so whether the translator which is to say the computer hardware or the chinese room man understand language doesnt matter, idk nevermind

it's weird, now would be a pretty good time to go in for a fap, and i dont really feel like it

sometimes i trick naive people into thinking im "smart" but really i just lay in bed all day listening to audiobooks and watching classes, i'm such a shit

>>11258571
>t they guy implementing the algorithm doesnt understand chinese
ok I have read about it but dont remember the exact details:
How would the guy be able to interact in a Chinese convo without knowing chinese? What is he dong to an algorithm?

i think humans may to a degree be influenced by their language, but its negligible. A lot of words are kind of abstract ideas, or action words too, so maybe would be difficult to think about unless discussed and put into words, so maybe language, language development, was a decent step in seperating ourselves from animals. for example I used the words influenced and negligible above. how would we have thought about that without language, what does the thought of influence appear as, what does the thought of negligible appear as: and then I can imagine how the wind blows against a rock: the wind influences the rock: I understand the concept of influence, but language we use metaphors: this idea of wind blowing rock = influence, i can use to describe other things, a parent is like the wind that blows the rock of their children.

>>11258577
lel

>>11253936
fuck i dont want to do my essay. my legs hurt, i wish i could go outside or could afford food for dinner. another day without food until payday, wish i could find a job or a cheaper place to live.

i hope the girl that hit on me at the gig the other week will still be friendly when i see her in my philosophy lecture, i hope she wasnt just drunk, id be really disappointed, no ones ever shown interest in me before and god knows im too anxious to hit on anyone myself

>>11258571
>>11258544
>>11258488
ok and yeah, I guess even 20 seconds of just being outside on a summer day contains more (visceral) experience than the dictionary? 20 seconds of consciousness and being bombarded by sunlight and blue sky and bird chirping and lawn mowers and kids playing and smell of grass and flowers along with a smooth jolty swirl of randomish sporadic connected thoughts is difficult to aproximate, and capture in words, and the complexities of the facts of biological being, what it actually is, is so far beyond the simplicity of language.

I've recently noticed that I actually talk fairly loudly to myself when I'm outside and people stare whenever, I can't really stop myself, so the only ways to stop the stares I thought of are either wearing a bluetooth earpiece or covering my mouth with a scarf, which is better?

i've been getting into stats and machine learning a lot lately, purely out of vanity, when ever i talk to normies about literature and art, they're just like "lol never read it but cool opinion" and i'm steamed like "bro i'm dropping nuggets of wisdom here" so now im just studying math cuz when you start talking about computer science shit or whatever they still have no clue what you're talking about but instead they're like "wow this guy is smart!" rather than "that guy reads books and has opinions" plus everyone thinks people who are "good with computers" are all rich little do they know programming is no longer a geeky wild west but has become like any other office career surrounded by moats and gatekeepers keeping the autistic at bay

>>11258655
definitely the earpiece. the scarf might only make mumbling to yourself look creepier.

>>11254308
dont be so kleinbürgerlich. don't be a meme, times have changed.

>>11254795
Can Yall Appreciate This Post Please

>>11254353
i like you, i would be your friend!

>>11257596
eat meat once in a while.

>>11253936
I feel threatened due to years of /pol/ habituating me to expect black people to be criminals

I have spent the last six years of my life watching anime, playing video games and reading books

>>11253936
We're all just disposable cogs in a Jewish machine

>>11254166
I'm also french and lately been thinking about taking the concours. Thanks for the insight, doesn't seem that comfy anymore. Any good sides though? How's the pay? Do you think archivist would be better?

anyone know any good book on guerrilla warfare?

>>11258481
kek
Shit happens, anon. Hope it turns out to be a funny story between both of you.

>>11256293
Kek

>>11253936
I'll never read War of the world's for the first time again. I'm going to attempt to inflict amnesia upon myself so I can have relive that rollercoaster.

>>11258779
good lyfe

My friend was going off about "tropes" and directly cited TVTropes. I can't explain but I know the site is shit and stifles discussion, can some /lit/izens put my feelings into words?

>>11254308
You know, there are other religions than the biblical ones.

>>11254166
I almost paid £8,000 last year to study to be a librarian. Talked to some librarians in my city and the university and apparently it's a dead industry.

nothing new
no laughs
yet i still come here
like a boring conversation with myself
where has the novelty gone
is my brain just dead
but thats why they call it
4chan

If you jerk off a clone of you is it gay, incest or both?

>>11258894
>>11258767
>>11258547
noided

it used to be my only hobbies were anime and vidya but recently i have taken a serious interest in reading and have finished a handful of books
vidya now bores me unless im playing with friends and i just cant bring myself to watch anime anymore even though i dont think i dislike it or anything now

what have you done to me, /lit/

>>11253936
My writing is simple prose that tries to avoid the style and ideas of YA fiction while still being a blatant adaptation of the anime I wish I could produce that's always swimming around in my head.

I'm tired af after a long day of eatin Japanese fooods I love my girlfriend life is so good :)

>>11259966
given you a new fad

>>11260084
FUCKING NORMIES
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>11258517
Thank you Anon. For me it's not about finding more THAN the mundane, it's about finding more IN the mundane, and thereby making it greater, making it glitter. It's the dream of the alchemists.

>>11253936
My girlfriend and I got very drunk last night and then she broke up with me over some minuscule point while blacked out, and now i’m sitting here wondering whether she remembers or if I should just text her and pretend nothing happened. And also i am sad

I caught up with a friend I made when I traveled overseas alone for the first time.

I asked how he was doing via DM. He responded he was doing alright but he was struggling with depression. He went on to say that it was coming from not being sure what to do next to get to where he wants to be while watching all of his friends get ahead in life. The old me would've told him I'm in the same boat, but after being in the situation of seeking help from people only to have them make you feel worse by just saying 'It's not just you' or 'You'll be alright', I affirmed that it is a rough place to be, and if he ever needed someone to talk to, I'd be there for 'em. I also recommended some self-help books but he's already reading plenty apparently.

>>11260316
If she doesn't remember then break up with over something even more minuscule.

>>11260086
>greatest art form ever to grace the earth
>fad

>>11253936
should I embrace the contemplative life?

>>11258940
The pay is not that great, I started at 1300€

The good sides are these little moments where you show some gems to peoples who are genuinly interrested in new things, and they come back 2 weeks later telling you how great it was and how they want more books like that.

Archivist is waaaay different and requires a ton more qualifications.

Je sais meme pas pourquoi je te réponds en anglais en fait.

>>11259636
Here in France it's not that dead, but it's definitively different than 20 years ago.

You have to know how to work with many aspects of the job, and books are only 1/4 of your daily work.

If you want to be a librarian for the books, first ask yourself "Can I be a librarian for the peoples ? Can I work with stupid peoples and unqualified coworkers ?"

I shouldn’t be wasting time in /lit/, looking to discuss a book I haven’t even finished yet, when I have guests coming over in an hour and a half for a bbq

Multiculturalism is new-age colonialism.

22 Hours 47 Minutes 46 Seconds until WWDC 2018

>>11260568
Ouais y'a de bons moment quand même, après c'est vrai que les enfants...

Archiviste je sais que c'est différent mais j'hésitais avec ça niveau concours, si j'arrive pas à me faire financer ma thèse

Même les collègues sont fatiguants?

I want a cute trap to be the big spoon

Ive been banned, I think for replying "Londonfrog's collected posts" to a thread asking about virgin literature

IT WAS A JOKE

>>11260300
That's funny, I was just thinking about alchemy when I read your reply.
I also wish I had someone else with this mindset to do things with IRL.

>>11260605
It really is. Ethnic enclaves are colonies.

My faith in LORD and Jesus Christ, his son, is tested and tested and tested. But I do not give it up as if I were indoctrinated. Is it out of weakness that I believe in God? Yet why does this weakness give me strength in my weakest hours?

>>11261454
The intent is to draw in peoples from third world countries to do cheap labour while indoctrinating them into the now amalgamous and faceless western culture.
Is the same shit as before, just in a different location and with a different name.

>>11261475
True, it's like bringing the colonies to you rather than going out to the colonies.

>>11261384
pls be in southern NM

>>11253936

I think I'm just going to go back to being a straight chaos mage, but I'll try to finish reading Either/or and Dante first I guess.

>>11261505
Not even in the US, sadly

>>11255894
>it has nothing to do with exclusion or dysfunctional social cliques
>it has nothing to do with righteous disgust towaeds socializing
>its all there fault
i wonder if you’re an authoritarian pseud? would bet my lunch

>>11258779
I have spent the last two years of my life browsing 4chan and occasionally not browsing 4chan.

Went out last night dancing. Saw a girl sitting around and asked her to dance. We did for a little then went outside to talk.
We hit it off really well, talked to each other for 20 mins or so. Then she left and offered me her number
So I text it this morning and get a text back that the number is a landline number
GODDDAMMMMMNNNNN. Why didn't I call it right when she gave it to me? I dunno if she just put it in wrong or purposefully gave me a wrong number. We connected pretty well and she's the one who asked if I wanted her number, that's not fair.

>>11261755
The absolute worst feel. Sorry anon

>>11261755
cant you jsut call it anyway?

I just took a flight three thousand miles away from the girl I love. I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I don't know if she'll even ever want to see me again. It's raining right now, a small blessing. It always feels ridiculous to be sad when it's warm and sunny outside. Night and rain, that's what the jazz fits.

>>11261755
call it u pussy, but she was probably a hooker tho cuz they used to always say "no texts" on craigslist probably so it's harder for the cops to get a record

>>11255894
>if you don't fit in already you don't deserve to
what a fucking normie meme holy shit

>>11261152
Tu bosse avec 50% de catégories C voire 80% selon la municipalité.

Et les catégories C c'est en gros: Dédé du service technique qui se fait muter à la médiathèque parcequ'il a mal au dos.
Géraldine la secrétaire qui se fait pistonner par le maire qu'elle suce pour avoir un poste tranquille a la médiathèque etc...

Et ces gens la sont des cancers ambulants, stupides, aucune culture.. fainéants, constammenten train d'inventer du drame pour meubler leurs vies... ils occupent des postes qui pourraient etre pris par des gens en formations littéraire, et ce jusqu'à leurs 65 ans...

Ouais... vive le fonctionnariat et les municipalités clientèlistes (aka 99,9% d'entre elles)

>>11261845
Well I don't know why she'd give me a landline number, she said to text her and you can't do that with landline so it doesn't make sense. I do know that the area code she gave me is out of state but if you change one of the digits it is in my state, so it may be that typo but I don't know
>>11261817
Yup, I was in a good mood all night and morning, now I just feel immense disappointment

>>11261868
>if you change one of the digits it is in my state, so it may be that typo but I don't know
did you try that area code? And now you learned the obvious lesson, .. isnt this in movies and tv shows?

"Let me get your number AND TEXT YOU RIGHT NOW SO YOU HAVE MY NUMBER"

thats the obvious intuitive go to. If you like that girl, and you like her enough that YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE ABSOLUTELY SURELY YOU HAVE HER NUMBER AND SHE HAS YOURS.. yes or no.. you either like her that much or you dont... if you do... YOU MUST "LET ME TEXT YOU RGHT NOW! SO YOU HAVE MY NUMBER!!" you have to know this and be trolling.. or you have to have learned a ""profound"" lesson

>>11261925
I know, I was even thinking "oh wait I should call this before she leaves" and I just didn't
So stupid

oh shit microsoft just finalized a deal to acquire github, queue the gnu/freetard whinefest

>>11261868
bro i have a story like that maybe make u feel better than happened to me, i ran into this chick i used to chill with all the time and i hadnt seen for like a year or two and shes all "zomg i missed u, give me ur number so we can get together some time" im all like oh yes, could just be friendzone bullshit, but still cool to reconnect, and maybe chance of laid, then the next day i saw i got a call on my phone, and i was like omg and i was all nervous to call back then like a total autist, then after like a day i finally call the number back like omg here we go... it was a fucking fax machine. never heard from the girl again. i'm less autistic now, but i feel u

>>11261985
That sucks, hate this shit.
She did tell me where she works, but my detachment from social rules make it so I dunno if it'd be weird if I went in there looking for her

Life sucks

Life rocks

Someone wrote a story about ants in one these threads and now my apartment is full of ants, I'm a bit spooked out honestly.

>>11262008
>We did for a little then went outside to talk.
>We hit it off really well, talked to each other for 20 mins or so.
depends what you talked about, depends if you would marry her, depends if you see yourself being life long friends with her, depends how easily she could break your heart, depends if you just want a booty call, depends if she may think it very romantic ala the notebook of you to show up at her work with a few flowers and say your number didnt work but i enjoyed your company so much I just had to find you and get your number and see if we can hang out sometime or netflix and chill XD or maybe we can go to the mall sometime or talk about literature or horseback riding or go to edm festival but maybe you work at a place that would be inappropriate for me to show up with flowers so I will keep that part in mind

>>11261511
Darn, trucking school in Edinburgh perhaps?

>>11258467
good post

Mods finally got to the tripfag thread. Some hope for this board still exists.

I'm going to miss you and it will be a struggle to be away from you for so long but I'm very proud of what you've accomplished and where your life is heading and I'm honored to be a big part of it.

>>11262527

>>11262580
Not sure what to make of this post exactly.

>>11262527
You are Scum
>>11261897
>>11261768
>>11261106
>>11258760
>>11258875
>>11262360
>>11262311
>>11261615
>>11261961
>>11260791
>>11261628
>>11261966
>>11252962
>>11261935
>>11259065
>>11260835
>>11261364
>>11257641
>>11259473
>>11261141

It was one of the best threads on the board: What is your problem?
>Some hope for this board still exists.

this book started off sort of good but it inevitably turned to blowing overprivileged silicon valley techbros

main points are your most productive relationships are old friends and acquaintances because they have resources outside of your main current social circle and you can easily reconnect with them faster than connecting with new people, and clustering is important n shit, but dont turn into a "silo", you need a "deep community" but a "wide network", he actually does talk about writers n shit like joyce and pound, and tolkein and lewis, so maybe skim it for those parts, but it's not going to tell you anything you didn't know

i only bought it cuz the intro part made it sound like it would be about reid hoffman and founding of linkedin but so far he hasn't revisited it at all, rip-off tbqh

>>11253936
Lord knows it would be the first time

i just ate a hoagie and now i feel like shit can one u dudes woke on nutrition explain me what happened i know its cuz of the bread but why

>>11262964
i'm hungry now

I hate my life and I want to die, ive been lonely my entire life

I just moved into a new apartment. I wanted to try to be more social with my housemates this time, but so far they've all just stayed in their rooms.

>>11262990
No need to worry, be patient my friend

>>11262990
you want to be careful about your housemates. I assaulted a guy I lived with and I seem pretty normal on the outside

>>11262990
Aaaaaaand this! One of my housemates just stays inside his room playing Spiro the Dragon for the whole fucking day

>>11262986
>he doesn't have a romantic relationship with his loneliness

Existential crises are a result of a lack of physical exercise.

>>11263049
how about no

>>11263026
i just stay inside shitposting on 4chan, watching computer science classes on youtube, and occasionally masturbating, nothing personal kid

>>11263058
It's true, anon.

Take the bikepill.

>>11262964
White bread is basically refined sugar.

Eat whole grains, anon.

>>11263058
he isn't wrong

>>11263090
he isn't right either

>>11263083
recommend me some top tier whole grains

>if u write anything u need to get grammerly

yo man how much vc funding does god damn grammerly have since they seem to have an unlimited advertising budget jesus fucking christ

>>11263094
then what is he?

>>11262990
New apartment anon here: somehow I forgot my fucking pillow so I've stuffed a load of clothes into a pillowcase to approximate one. Am I living the literary lifestyle yet?

>>11263133
just order an "amazon basics" one, i copped some amazon basics sheets for like 12 bucks and they're better than some fancy ones i got from target for 30 bucks last time that fucking ripped

>>11263112
>he

On Friday I scheduled an interview for Monday for a job on that's about 2 hours away from where I live in. I was happy to get a call saying they wanted to interview me because I've applied to like 50 jobs and this is only the second call back I've gotten. Only now that I think about it the pay is absolute shit and I don't want to live in the city it's in and it doesn't sound like something I'm interested in at all, I don't even know why I applied. The problem is this means I'd have to call and cancel my interview the day of (tomorrow) since obviously I couldn't have called today, it being Sunday. So I don't know if I should just waste my whole day driving all the way there for an interview for a job I don't want or if I should just call first thing in the morning and say "Hey, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel my interview, and I'm not interested in rescheduling." That would make me look like a dick.

>>11263026
Spyro* Shesh, boomers these days!

>>11263627
say sorry but a family emergency came up and you will not be able to make it to the interview, and you will not need to resechedule because you will be spending quite a lot of time away from home the next few months.

This is called a white lie. If you truly do not want to waste your at least 4 hours driving, day for something you are absolutely certain you do not and will not want and will not regret.

>>11263660
>>11263627
>but a family emergency came up
>*over the weekend
Though if they detect a lie in your voice they might notify your resume as a liar and pass it on to the authorities and other jobs... so there is a weigh of balance, maybe a softer lie would be:
Over the weekend I received another job offer that is only 25 minutes away from my home so I am sorry but I will be canceling the job interview as you are located 2 hours away, I hope you understand and thank you most graciously for the opportunity

>>11263717
>and pass it on to the authorities and other jobs...
>>11263627
here's the thing: you're a non-entity to companies. they don't give a fuck, personnel is a commodity. Just cancel it, they're not even going to ask for a motive. they'll throw your file in their huge resume bonfire and forget about the whole thing.

>>11263660
>>11263717
>>11263741
Yeah I wouldn't say a retarded lie like that. I would probably just say "I am no longer interested, thank you for the opportunity though."

But I still haven't decided. I would probably do it if it paid $10k more. But it only pays $30k a year and I feel like that's insulting, I should have never agreed to schedule an interview in the first place. I should have never applied. But I make $12 an hour at my current job so even though it's insulting it's still a step up from where I am now. (Though now I live at home and pay no rent.)

Finally out of school for summer. Just finished freshman year in high school. itslit.jpg

>Kanye West - ye
>7.1

puh puh puh PAAANNNED

>>11263785
>retarded lie
the lie wasnt retarded anon take it back i was just trying to help

>>11263785
>"I am no longer interested, thank you for the opportunity though."
the only reason I thought that would be more rude is because the person on the other end might be like 'dang we scheduled this this way and said another person couldnt come in today for you and you just cancel last minute without even an excuse what a piece of shit im gonna give them -4 stars on linkdn"

I say I study "natural philosophy" to cope with falling for the STEM meme

I wish i was white

Saying that certain concepts are real doesn't feel intuitive. The ideas I mean are ideas that describe real situations, like luck. To say that concept, a descriptor, is real, feels wrong. Any books for this feel? I don't understand why I feel like this, or what I'm trying to say.

>>11264431
luck doesnt exist. There is only: Things happen.

And: some things happen that benefit a person when it seems it possibly could have happened another way.

Like if you are at a baseball game and a foul ball missed your face by an inch. People have gotten hit by foul balls before. You could have had your head an inch to the left. You could have been paying better attention. You could have been at the bathroom.

>>11264458
I agree, and that makes sense. The definition of luck however, describes a real situation. It doesn't feel right to say that it's real still, like there's a better word to validate the concept with. Since saying "luck is real" has other implications than the description says.

>>11264474
something about the gist is real. In the foul ball example: a person in that moment might say all those things I said, make an exclamation, a realization of all those potentials, out of all those potentials, and for things to be bad, so close to real badness, to narrowly escape. That is a real thing that can occur, he really did almost get hit in the face. There is a real difference between getting hit in the face, getting nowhere near hit in the face, and narrowly miss getting hit in the face.

Isnt it a real thing, a real distinguished, different than other events thing, to narrowly escape danger?

>>11264497
I suppose so. In a way, someone can be lucky. Saying luck is real sort of implies that it's a phenomenon that you can influence as well, which it isn't, which is why it feels wrong to say. I guess it just depends on context.

I had a dream about you, /lit/. The entire intermet had become a kind of chain, with all the content figured out, and the final link was to /lit/ with a set of 4-5 important topics to research such as "extreme isolation" and "DNA". As the chain was finalized, other places grew bitter and tore the system apart, and reality itself began to unwind. The final 'scene' took place during this process, where all I could think was "They're not planes, they're people!". And so when I stepped outside, life was like a painting, and a huge mass of smiling planes drew in and filled the skies, planes that used to be still. Imagine it like the ending to Planet of the Apes, or S-oylent Green.

It sounds kind of retarded, but it was terrifying at the time. Perhaps this is from sleeping on my back.

>>11254308
Unironically try psychedelics, it will make you religious and pull you out of your funk.

>>11259636
>>11254166
Who the fuck goes to libraries anymore?

I have no idea what to do with my life anymore. The move I made earlier this year has failed to materialize into anything. The lifestyle I want is not going to be what I was hoping it would be. None of the reading I have done has helped with anything. I hate my job. I have no friends. The one hobby I have (40k) I want to give up because I have no one to do it with and the community here and back home is full of jackasses. I don't want to workout because I know being in shape will make no difference. I don't even really want to be happy. I just kinda want to die. Not in a suicidal way but just my heart kinda stops. None of my family can help me because they are positive to the point of being delusional about how bad things are. Overall, this is not the life I wanted at 32. It feels like life has nothing to offer me.

What do normies do all day? I'm not even meming, I want to sort my life out and figured not spending my whole day in indolence would be a good start.

My current routine, for reference
>7-8: wake up, have coffee, browse 4chan, maybe watch a tv episode or two
>10: walk over the office (literally five minutes away), go to daily meeting
>11: do actual work for an hour or two
>12-1: walk back home, I'm done for the day
>1: more 4chan, more tv, maybe read a little, maybe write a poem
>5: exercise
>6: make and eat dinner
>7: back to fucking around. usually spend some time reading around here
>10: shower and get ready for bed
>10:30: listen to sad music, feel depressed, cry a little
>fall asleep once the sleeping medicine kicks in

>spend less time fucking around anon!
I don't have anything else to do. I have no friends and don't know how to make them.

>work more than a couple hours a day anon!
Due to being a privileged piece of shit I have a terrible work ethic, I cannot bring myself to work more than I have to.

>get some hobbies
I have/had some, but I did the thing Kierkegaard describes where you bounce around from activity to activity to avoid boredom and eventually burn out of them all together.

>>11266770
sorry anon it just sounds like you're a bit autistic and self-obsessed

learn to accept that

>>11266812
nah man I hate my life, if I can't change I'm going to off myself eventually

>>11266842
fine then, stay being self-obsessed and kill yourself

>>11266770
Hi me.

Hey /lit/, dumb STEM nerd here. I completely failed my year, but still have a month to go through before I can retake the year. I feel depleted, should I read the books I want for a while to rest or should plow through and keep studying hydromechanics? I feel burnt out.

>>11266921
why not do both :)

In which order should i read the "Bokklubben World Library" ?

everything's uncomfortable and I don't like it

>>11266842
go swimming

I have this feeling in the middle of the chest, it feels like consistent pressure. Is this anxiety?

>>11267081
Could be. When I get anxiety, it feels like my head is filling up with sand. Not nice desu

How do I get better at writing?
I want to weave poetry out like Rilke

>>11267103
read the dictionary, flip to random pages and read some entries for 10 minutes. Then go outside for a walk for 10 minutes. Then random dictionary entries for 10 minutes. Then go outside and side in a chair in the sun. Then read dictionary for 10 minutes. Then go walk in circles outside while pantomiming speaking to the birds. Then sit outside (make sure you have a notebook with you during all this) for 10 minutes. Then read some entries of the dictionary. Then lay down in your bed with your eyes closed for about 15 -20 minutes, with your notebook on your side and a voice recorder. Repeat at your discretion

>>11267081
I think you are having a heart attack anon. Goodness the boomers are dying left and right around here lately.

>>11266921
It sounds like you want to get out of the STEM meme/trap. Take some time to just remove stress and then think hard about what you want for yourself.

>>11267216
Not that guy but what alternative is there? I'm not a "anything but STEM is a waste of time" guy but I struggle to see what opportunities there are for outside of it for someone without connections or amazing social skills.

>>11263102
for me, it's wheat.

>>11267369

what happened to people getting into great schools, trying to hit the top five or ten percent (any major) of their college class, and matriculating into finance? this used to be normal. when did it transform into "STEM only", or are these STEMfellows all attending low-end institutions?

>>11267369
there are none, if you are not wealthy from inheritance or high social status there is nothing, quantitative reasoning skills and technical training are essential to all 21st century industries. People who can’t do math are completely worthless to the economy. Its absolutely necessary, and the alternative is being a sociopath or a leech, or being a miminum wage double-employed slave. One is forced into the tedium of labrat existence regardless of the protest of their soul. Youw ill never escape necessity. All of you 120 iq fags who think you’re too good or creative for stem: you’re not; the market doesn’t care

>>11266937
I think I am going to do that. For now I've been losing time on /lit/ and that's like the worst of both worlds.

>>11267216
>>11267369
I guess I could choose another path, but I honestly don't? I have all right social skills but I don't what else I want to do. I like science, maths, programming but the course I am in is mind-numbingly hard on the students and made me almost autistic. I've never felt so lonely in my entire life, especially since I fell in love with of my best friends at uni. The self confidence I had two years ago is pretty much gone.

>>11267467
>D E P R E S S I O N

You won't cure it through books alone, boi.

>>11267436
>this post
Christ, /lit/ sure is depressing these days.

>>11262019
>>11262043
Kek

>there is a sequence of actions I could take right now that would lead to me having a comfortable, happy life with a loving gf and wide circle of friends
>I don't know what it is and probably won't guess it

isnt it crazy how we are so fundamentally different but so fundamentally similar in ways, and how difficult it is the comprehend the quantity and magnitude of differentness and yet we communicate and speak and interact with one another as if there is some similarity between us, like we are all so common and similar, like we are in some ways inescapably clones, so many qualities match, yet there are so many people that are so extremely different, like we are not all aliens from another planet but we are

I'm going to kill myself tonight. I'll try to clear my mind as best I can (of other people, of things I still kind of enjoy) but I always anticipate the absolute freedom I'll have to hold up and the fact that it is solely upon this freedom that my blissful end rests.

>>11267688
Truer words...

it should be called antidepression as a friend of mine suggested because it's not the sadness that hurts you it's the brain's reaction against it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbDNP9R23h4

Can anybody give me the Jezebels copypasta?

>>11253936
I hate myself

>>11258467
wow

>>11268662
welcome to the club buddy

>>11253936
>cant spell
>thry to wite
>see how bad my spelling is
>give up in self lothen diskest
I haet my life

>>11268501
why wouldnt you save up money and get a plane ticket to cambodia and try to live on the beach with a fishing tribe, and if you dont like that after a month you can always kill yourself?

https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/vintage-mugshots-australia-1920s/

I think I will leave 4chan for a while. The constant "redpilling" on all boards is messing with my mind.

>>11268795
the true redpill is to do or think whatever the opposite of the "redpill" offered is.

>>11268805
>be a neoliberal slave animal

Are there any good books about big booty hoes?

>>11268826
that is what a Machiavellian would do so it kind of is the redpill. best option for networking and gaining power

>>11268805
To be honest I feel like focusing on my own life and imediate surroundings. I might become something like this >>11268826, but I'm just getting too paranoid

>>11253936
Distant friends and lovers are now gone. I'm only a forgotten memory...

I wish I could go back in time and abort myself.

https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/grand-central-terminal-pictures/

Why do mods always delete the good threads? I was having a great discussion in one really interesting thread and in another I was having a lark trolling and both of the threads got deleted. And yet basic troll threads about Moby dick clog up the fucking server. Absolute waste.

if there was a way to kill myself without leaving behind my family i totally fucking would nothing is worth it

>>11268779
y'know i might just do this. any tips before i make the jump?

>>11269009
try to contact services, or volunteers, or local things, in different 3rd world countries, phillipines, maybe monastaries, tribes, google: how to travel 3rd world countries, how to become a monk,

>>11268990
there is. it’s called murder-suicide

>>11253936
I'm quite happy right now, I'm going to have some tea.

>>11269038
on second thought, I'm a mentally ill 19 year old NEET who can't even talk to his grandmother without stumbling over his words so this is probably not the most prudent thing to do

>>11269087
yep, in what way are you mentally ill, are you an aspiring writer? Dont kill yourself, 19 is very young, whole lot of good life ahead of you.

>>11268990
>if there was a way to kill myself
You fucking people will do absolutely anything to avoid reading books.

>>11269087
On the other hand, throwing yourself into the fire may be the only way to actualize.
Don't take advice from me though, I'm just a 20 year old pseudo-NEET.

I have never truly expressed myself to the point where i have serious issues making smalltalk with anybody, i can't speak. My mind always just goes blank whenever i am in a conversation with somebody. I never really cared about this until i graduated from highschool, when i started realising how irritating it felt, with my conversations always being so short, like literally a few sentences.

>>11269101
I'm not the guy you originally responded to, I just thought your idea was cool and quaint. I'm paranoid, obsessive-compulsive, and autistic, but mostly just lazy. And nah, not an aspiring writer. I've braindeadified myself from spending so much time here.

>>11269126
>I've braindeadified myself f
not permanent, its not to late to get on the right track

What's it called when you have dozens of male friends who genuinely like you but you have never had a girlfriend and cannot talk to girls
Also you're ugly
There must be a word for this

>>11268990
I mean the answer is pretty obvious, you already know what it is too. However you don't want to die, go read a book or something.

>>11253936
DIE BITCH

>>11269073
I almost obsessively drink green tea. Like more than 5 cups a day.

>>11267932
reminds me of that Borges story, about a priest(?) who discovers the secret words that would give him godlike power.

>>11269307
you mean this one?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Writing_of_the_God

>>11269152
I N C E L

>>11269307
Yeah, pretty cool concept

>>11269281
I exclusively drink black tea, several huge mugs a day of just sugarless black tea, typically basic orange pekoe. The problem is that I have now conditioned my self to want to smoke every time I drink black tea. I have no idea why, I developed the habit from working long hours in construction and even now that I've moved on it's stuck with me only when I drink black tea or alcohol. I'm starting to develop a nasty morning cough even though I only pound back several darts a day. My family is pushing me to vape but I can't stand the flavor and I frequently over vape no matter how much nicotine I put in it.

>>11269330
>>11269321

>>11269323
Incels don't have friends

>>11255357
>no lawful evil
I think I'll have to report this thread to the mods, you foul plebeian creature

>>11269337
>sugarless
patrician taste my man
you should get that cough looked at and if you really want to stop smoking do it gradually, not all of the sudden otherwise it won't work

>>11269337
>can't stand the flavor
there are 1000s of flavors, and what has science said thus far about potential harmful effects of overvaping? (with lil amounts of nicotene)

I kinda miss the days of me just going out to the local dance clubs by myself and just going wild. Way harder now with a gf and fulltime job. Just wanna work some decent part time job, read and club. The dream

I want to write a furry romance story but there are high chances of it being shit and no one will read it

>>11269409
Lets you actually taste the tea instead of having some sort of sugar monstrosity. I might occasionally put a little bit of lemon and cane sugar if I'm sick off my knob. I've been trying to get my hands on rooibos tea, but frankly I'm not much of a tea patrician.

>>11269429
1000's of flavors and I still can't find one that tastes like decent tobacco. I'm not saying vaping is less healthy, what I'm saying is that I intake too much nicotine and give myself a headache because I keep taking hits. Maybe I should get a THC vape instead.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1U4Y6jqnplv

>>11269509
>Maybe I should get a THC vape instead.
also make cbd oil, which isnt like high high, more of the body element i guess, calm relaxing, thc is the head high psych component

>>11253936
It's high time I quit flouncing about these /lit/ threads and picked up an actual book. There it is, a great pile of books, right next to me and I have hardly read but a few pages today. I've also fallen off my Bible readings - just recalled I haven't read my "Proverb of the Day" today, and my rereading of the Torah has been delayed. And why should it have been? I love reading. I love Scripture. I really enjoy the stories, the genealogies - everything. Y'know what? This cheekily thuggish OP and his abrasive thread have aided me. I'm going to get right off this PC and read until I've tackled with something.

God bless you OP, ye cheeky rogue!

>>11253936
>tfw friends you know irl find your 4chan posts, possibly the ones about Ted Kaczynski
Fuck you Sam .... nigger

>>11255221
I love it! May the LORD God make His face to shine upon you and give you His peace.

>>11255357
good post

>>11269630
screw you Craig, you dick

She did like me back after all. Her being mad at me was just her female nature, hiding her true feelings. It is so obvious now. This happened ten years ago. Sudden realization.

It's amazing how autistic I used to be, holy shit. No idea how this suddenly clicked in my mind.

>>11269787
Turboautist who had a similar realistion around a year ago. Her massive rage at me and mindfuck with my self-esteem messed me up for quite a while, as it went down when I was in a really bad place and that was the last thing I needed, so it hit hard and lingered. These days I'm not even mad at her. In fact I hope she's doing alright. Life really is a massive uphill shitfest and we all have so many secrets and scars that we try to hide from other people just to keep pushing forward. Who knows what some of her baggage was. She was a bit unhinged at the best of times so I bet a lot of it was pretty fucked up. We all hide so much.. In the end all I want for her is peace and happiness.