/lit/ - Literature

I am very frustrated with my writing and am about to give up. I think I will start a small porn company and fuck dumb collage girls in the butt for a living before that becomes spiritually unbearable and I convert to Orthodox Christianity.

we all need to die. soon

>>11196450
>I think I will start a small porn company and fuck dumb collage girls in the butt for a living before that becomes spiritually unbearable and I convert to Orthodox Christianity.

Inspirational

Someone really needs to write a book from the perspective of the beings they meet on psychedelic trips

I've been writing everyday and feel like I've lost the spirit and the feeling. What do?

Yesterday was a meme. Today just got too real and tomorrow it never ends.

>>11196450
>I think I will start a small porn company and fuck dumb collage girls in the butt
i don't know if i need to tell you this but this is predicated on your having a big dick and being vaguely handsome, also you will generally need to pay them 300-500$ or they will just ignore your advances. unless you are a chad then you can probably just profit off of your existing sex life. though you're not because the christian thing you mentioned at the end
>>11196463
working on it thank you for reminding me of one of my side projects. though its not a book just a journal from the perspective of a machine elf

>>11196463 thats kind of what the above post is

>>11196416

The pre-trial hearing of a certain Anthony Moore, a recon hoping to bring internal suit against Mitsubishi-Takayama corp, is illustrative of the early social and legal problems of recons. In the course of reviewing different possibilities of reconstitution for credibility, fidelity, and utility, the corporation arrived at the generally common conclusion that a certain average case was the best fit, while simultaneously (as was common at the time) developing certain intellectual properties that were found to have emerged from Mr. Moore’s information vectors under alternate circumstances. Mitsubishi-Takayama argued that since it was not credible to believe these properties had ever actually been the property of a real living Mr. Anthony Moore, they were rightfully the property of Mitsubishi-Takayama as a kind of speculative fiction that emerged from higher than average contemplation of real persons. It would not be for many decades that standards would be developed that would even begin to offset such reasoning in any way, and it still remains a bitter and contentious issue among some old-timers even in the post-biosphere world.


The above entitled matter came on for hearing before
the Board, pursuant to notice, at 10:00 o'clock a,m local Mitsubishi-Takayama time.

DR. ALLENDALE: I should like at this time to have the
reporters sworn. For the information of Mr. Moore and his counsel, the reporter is James Woodworth,, the transcriber Kevin Demsey.

(The reporter and transcriber were thereupon duly
sworn by Dr. Allendale,)
DR. ALLENDALE: The hearing will come to order.
This Board, appointed by Mr. J. C. Pomfrey, General
Manager of the Mitsubishi-Takayama reconstitution division at the request of
Mr. Moore, is composed of the following
members: Kenneth Lamprey, Chairman, Peter M Evans and Johnathon C. • Morgen. All members of the Board are present, and Board counst Roger Jameson and C,A,Kensington, Mr.,and Mrs. Moore are present. Present also are Mr, Floyd A. Smith, counsel
for Mr. Smith Would you identify your associates?
MR. SMITH: Jack J, Goldman, my partner,
and Timothy T. Sever, associate of my firm.

1/2

>>11196520
DR. ALLENDALE: Mr. Moore, we are here today as part of a preliminary hearing to determine whether the internal suit you have filed against Mitsubishi-Takayama can proceed forward. You claim intellectual property theft and emotional damages. Your argument is that, in reconstituting you, Mitsubishi-Takayama took certain artistic and intellectual properties from versions of you run under alternative conditions, which are rightfully yours. You further assert that in failing to reconstitute you under these alternative conditions, substantial harm was caused to you. This case is unprecedented, so a certain standard has to be established if this is to go to trial. To begin with, a credible mechanism of harm must be established, as well as a credible standard of ownership. Do you have arguments prepared?
MR. SMITH: We have arguments prepared.
DR. ALLENDALE: Let’s hear them.
MR. SMITH: It is our argument that in the absence of hard standards of verification, a certain charitability is called for in reconstitution procedures. We argue that in the absence of better techniques than statistical inference, the duty of reconstitution is to maximize the subjective well-being in the universe rather than to maximize fidelity to deceased individuals. We further argue that the psychological harm of knowing another version of you had demonstrably higher intrinsic utility is measurable and substantial, regardless of whether this other version can be called essentially the same person or not. That is, we argue that the emergence of both versions from the same vector of information already suffice to establish categorical resemblance to a degree that justifies the claim of harm. In regards to ownership, we reason that anything that can be produced from an individual’s information vectors are reasonably their property, since the vectors themselves are their property.
DR. ALLENDALE: How do you resolve the objection that, once statistical reasoning is made secondary, the range of possibilities for an individual’s information vectors become unreasonably large? For instance, as an extreme, any individual with a verified high IQ could be said to have secretly solved any number of mathematical or philosophical problems and simply not recorded them. But it would be prima facie unreasonable to give credit or compensation to anyone on this basis, not solely because it would have to be extended to excessive degrees.
MR. SMITH: In the age of post-scarcity, this strikes us as an unsubstantive objection. We believe it would be reasonable to use statistical information to compensate each person according to expected value calculations while reconstituting them according to the best standard that can be made to comport with their information vectors.

2/3

>>11196524

DR. ALLENDALE: That is interesting, but it would introduce an inherent redistributionism into the justice system and subsequently the reconstitution system, that some would say is far too activist. Like it or not, fidelity is an important standard to many people. We have already had suits, including successful suits, brought against us on the basis of fidelity. The principle of balancing interests makes it unreasonable for us to go forward with your suit at this time, unless some other argument is made that can be shown not to introduce harm on the standard of fidelity.

3/3

>>11196494
Have you encountered one through a trip? I don't think without experience with one you could imagine it's world view. The more experience the better,I Invision something similar to lovecraft.

>>11196528
YOU SOUND SO SMART WHERED YOU GET YOUR DEGREE AND WHO WAS YOUR ADVISER?

>>11196494
post your hotmail.com.yahoo fax address and I will telegraph you a painting of my dick

>>11196558

School of hard knocks

Finals are coming up and I’m walking on a razors edge with my amount of procrastination this semester. I’m going to be guzzling on adderall, coffee and energy drinks. Pray for me guys, because Jesus or Buddha or Allah or Odin or even Satan can probably save me
Also my computer is absolutely fucked so I’ll have to postpone my novel

Her

Anyone want to collaborate on a writing project, post a throwaway email

>>11196665

>>11196661
Right there with you
Doesn't make sense, it never will

>>11196665

>>11196665
What kind of collaboration? I'd be interested working with a stranger sounds fun.

I'm gonna write an epic poem.

>>11196688
Well I have written a lot, we could work on something new drawing from a bank of things we have written or scratch, or help me put together what I have written and add your own writing to it.

Other people's thoughts and ideas

I really hate those 'how did we go from [OP pic] to [next post pic] threads because it seems like that stupid gimmick is never sabotaged enough. I really want to sabotage one and I've tried but somehow they always break past the 30 second barrier and beat me to it.

>>11196702
Hm I have quite a deep bank of writings.

I'm a fucking failfag

>>11196717

Can't be a bigger failure than me

>>11196717

Can't be a bigger failure than me

>>11196716
Cool, email me if you want: Derndernit123@gmail.com

>>11196754
Alright man!

After complaining in these threads for a while about my shit attention span and lack of productivity, I woke up this morning, surfed reddit for an hour, and then got so fed up with it that I just deleted the app off my phone. I've wanted to for years now and I finally did it. Managed to have a really productive day, I went on a hike, read 50 pages, and journaled for the first time in months. I feel so fucking good, and obviously I'm still here on /lit/ so I'm not fully detoxed, but god life is better without reddit's dopamine feeding madness. Highly recommend killing internet addictions.

I deactivated my instagram and twitter- on the former, I was worrying about someone or some people from elsewhere finding it and doxing me, and a couple people on it made me depressed. On the latter, I was generally frustrated with the medium and a lot of the site's denizens, and I was in a big fight with a bunch of more popular accounts anyways (this wasn't related to why deactivated my instagram). I think there's something very fundamentally messed up with how meaning and communication is mediated on social media, and I don't like its inhabitants. Most women on twitter and especially instagram are pretty vapid, even if they use the internet a lot. Perhaps even more. It's really no different with men.
I don't like concerning myself solely with new messages and thoughts, as opposed to old ones, but social media is designed to privilege the present over the past (this is probably why gen z kids are so averse to books- every second not knowing the most recent in-vogue post or random, stray thought from someone being disseminated is a moment of existential dread and anxiety for the little guys). I don't like cliques, brands, or identities, especially not preformed ones. I don't like e-cred wars, the fav notification dopamine skinner box shit, detached irony, pretending to never be politically impassioned or angry online, listening to other people edgily disparage their lives or their loved ones, and I don't like both the visual medium and ultrashortform text. I don't like building up an imagined mythological pantheon of personalities and allies or rivals from whatever subculture you're in, whose brainspace could be filled with information from books. I hate discussing politics online, especially the "new" politics, e.g. alt-right, alt-lite, frog twitter, chapo socialism, irony x-ers, accelerationism, or sexual politics that have to do with trans people, sexuality in media, what words or jokes are problematic, identity, etc. I think any position that doesn't at least approach free speech absolutism is pretty much tyrannical or tyranny-adjacent.

Thanks for reading my blog.

>>11196807
It's >>11196853 here. I didn't even read your post before making mine, but they're strikingly similar. Yeah, reddit is really bad. Probably more so than twitter and instagram. I think something about /lit/ makes it pretty much okay to browse. I know a lot of people online hate "chantards", but the pretensions and styles of almost everywhere else online are absent from this board. It's comfy.

I enjoy talking (or rather thinking, because I don't have anyone to talk with) about how life is bad and everything is meaningless and all that nihilistic/pessimistic shit. I've been thinking about it a lot these past few days.
When I first "stumbled" upon this stuff, I felt like I figured some sort of secret terrible knowledge that could drive people insane, and while I felt very afraid and sad, I still had that smug satisfaction of knowing that I know better than most people.
Nowadays I just feel like a pathetic manchild all the time, wheneverI feel down or guilty about something I just think "well everything is meaningless teehee no biggie" as if it somehow made my situation less bad or made everyone equal to me.
It might be true that life is this and that, but I don't feel it. I use this way of thinking as a coping mechanism for my insecurities and to justify my laziness and lack of drive to improve my situation.
Whenever I want to feel smart/superior I just drop some sick blackpills/truthbombs and I feel like I already won. The only thing that makes me feel like I'm smart is this whole philosophical pessimistic shit. And I'm not even big into philosophy, I just have a very weak grasp of this.
Whenever I see people doing better than me I just think "well they are gonna die one day haha take that normies" and this is somehow some grand discovery.
We all die in the end, life is meaningless and sucks in general, consciousness is an illusion, and I can go on talking about all this sad shit, but at the end of the day I am still a loser manchild who worries about college and success and other made up constructs.

If anyone has a sad brainlet wojak pic, please feel free to share.

I'm so mediocre.

Everything I try to do academically or creatively sucks.

I like the idea of reading more than actually reading

holy shit i can't believe fruity loops released a fucking mac version! after all these years! and craziest shit of all, if you had a windows license back in the day (i had one from like 2009 or so) that mother fucker is a free update! mind fucking blown the fuck off and splattered on the wall.

of course apple's own logic pro x kinda whips fl studio's ass in every aspect, but still fruity loops is fun af to fuck around in, i really never thought i'd see the day they'd port that motherfucker to macos

>>11196971
everything i ever do in life is like "a bit above average" but never really good enough to make a lot of money as a pro, fucking annoying, being better than most average people always gives me hope, but i can just never get up that curve to the top 1,5,10, or even 20%

>>11196971
I feel you, this is cliche but you have to keep practicing you will improve if you're honest with the quality works you make

: )

>>11196416

I'm becoming anti-Semitic

>>11196416
Im taking a poop right now op is a faggot

>>11196457
There there dear, life has so many wonders between all the terror. Wouldn't you like to come be happy with all of us before our inevitable demise?

Elbedjuan, sant en randor domitris falatago moshier ers wenting flawn ley stay jeer kan fel de sago es mi no sweer, di sago le tel fen fieto si sultano cun di spitio mon la dulcino cun di ci namo del mariao, fel tu di yamo se ne de le com se dulc nontanio. Mo stultate fulchini montiago, espendicio, e telbranke, nenchiunto, mon drasnik eqse funtania zi contraoost, penticular wekshneer. Ultiunasobo mont de la rinikundiamus, wunktflentorichia erndtuploks srentyomolikintiopislunt ootywukies qonchort gaelund vendiantisply cruco di uoviaonati. Elpifino, zentibly arondya, le tutos grutshleer ventitutos clunterspleer vor embultation. Alontonisplier er suntos von tetisbre wen fortona belspikulates.

i'm not really feeling any of these new death grips singles from the new album, they're ok, better than a lot of indie bullshit still, but not blowing my mind at all, also their videos fucking suck they aren't cool at all 9 times out of ten

Yet again I fapped just now to that girl that got away 7 years ago

Someone I used to know who I stopped talking to who frequently browses 4chan likely this board too in hopes that he will find me posting on here. He apparently has nothing better to do but I don't blame him. I kind feel bad for them. Kind of.

erterga el dendaino fel un di amo sai on di semo feltiano condisemo vi chi bentino sumplidente por zumpini. Velgingkempunt wretdhunqs ooch vundismleer kerchangly jeenk daido bundisiply ventiation, per jahnjisi shen selpoyoily daidun ek erpilipli sempolomply rentiaco. Fa chinio ga dodiupchi, feldersdrem erp selsorm del jaijeer. Oleadianobuntito aloromoni karn zaizost sen dirmyeskolay kontikularotomy en vuntiopenkular gurdienkshi dergendos.

>>11197157
i only do that if i see a porno from someone who looks just like them, like if a new evelyn lin porno is on the frontpage of pornhub i might have a nostolgia fap but i so rarely jackit to asian chicks i actually had to google her name to remember, she's number 34 on the top 50 hottest asian pornstars, i always found her super hot because she's the most authentic chinese american as opposed to all this filipinos and thais and crap, not to mention an endless flood of nameless japs

i got into washu and northwestern as a transfer and think ill be attending the latter. i should be excited but part of me is still disgruntled that i couldnt go to a school with more emphasis on the humanities like uchicago or amherst. northwestern is very pre-professional/greek and i feel like im not going to make many friends.

>>11197189
amherst is super uptight waspy scene can't be any worse than northwestern, but at least umass is literally on the otherside of town so u could go and get drunk with leftwing hippies and shit over there if u need a break from the william boshius iii crowd

somebody say something

>>11198631
Hello

>>11198646
Hey

>>11196807
>>11196872
Just be careful 4chan doesn't turn into another addiction for you.

I feel really out of sorts. I was really emotionally hurting for a few weeks, I think it depleted my spirit. I slept for nine hours, but didn't feel refreshed when I woke up. Drinking coffee makes me feel more physically awake, yet paradoxically causes my mind to retreat further. I feel like I'm watching a movie of my life rather than living it. Don't know what to do with myself desu.

I don't know how to write.

I live in a small town. Maybe 40k population. I've seen this particular girl about three times in the past month. She carries herself like the kind of girl I'd be very interested in. I've just come out of a relationship and would really like the opportunity to talk to this girl. The only problem is is I've literally no idea how to do that. Do I just approach her, tell her I think she's cute, and that I'd like to get a coffee with her? Is it as simple as that? What do I do?

>>11199148
then how did you write what you just wrote

Am i banned?

>>11199160

Well, I've been lying to myself for long enough that I've lulled myself into a false sense of security resulting in the occasional brief lapse where I believe I can write.

In reality, I don't know what to write.

>>11199175

That was meant to be "how." I don't know how to write.

Paging Dr. Freud.

It's strange how numb you get to the idea of killing yourself after having been depressed for a long time. To a healthy person even entertaining the idea is horrifying, but to me it's become routine.
Wake up in the morning and am still tired
>I should kill myself
Spill my coffee
>I should kill myself
Fail the captcha
>I should kill myself
Have a bad day in general
>I should kill myself
I probably think that I should kill myself at least once an hour. I can't even take it seriously anymore, it's become such a casual matter. I don't even flinch when someone on here tells my to off myself, it's as normal as saying "hi" or asking how I'm doing in my mind. I didn't even notice how different it was compared to other people until I joked about throwing myself off a bridge to a girl, she started fucking crying.

Can anyone relate? I've never heard anyone else describe this, it's always "suicide is really bad!" or "permanent solution to temporary problem!" or a similar meme.

>>11196416
i feel like i'm too lazy to make any meaningful relationships in life. i just want to sleep all day and do nothing. any books for this feel

>>11197217
amherst is probably more left-wing than umass. i knew a guy who could have gone their for lacrosse but turned it down since "they're a bunch of communists." he didnt really belong at a rigorous school anyway.

>>11199237
the truth is most people at some point entertain the idea of suicide.
At the end of the day it is an escapist fantasy, like any other (running away, cheating etc.) the escape however, in the case of suicide, is from oneself.
The question is not should I kill myself? After all the only person who can answer that question is yourself.
The real question is how?

I want to write, but I'm flooded by so many half-assed ideas I don't know which to stick with and flesh out. As soon as I try to decide on one in particular, I only end up drifting away into another, and at the end of the day nothing gets done. Granted, they slowly evolve even when I don't work on them, but at such a pace that it might as well not happen. And it doesn't help that it takes next to nothing for me to skip from one story to another. I can see a random object and think, "Wow, that's pretty, I want that in my story," and suddenly I'm trying to find an excuse as to why I'm adding a new character so that she can wear a particular pair of heels I find hot. I'm just so scatterbrained it's not even funny. Pic related, me each and every time I think of something new and it seems like a big revelation and I decide to skip to another story for no reason whatsofuckingever.
If anyone has some actual advice for this, I'd really appreciate it.

>>11199167
I doubt it

>>11197081
No

>>11199237
>It's strange how numb you get to the idea of killing yourself after having been depressed for a long time. To a healthy person even entertaining the idea is horrifying, but to me it's become routine.
People imagine this kind of idea all the time. Are you trying to make yourself feel superior through this? Horrifying? Nah. I often imagine throwing myself off when I'm somewhere high up and so on, and I'm not suicidal in the least. Then again, maybe I'm not normal, but hey.
In any case, you can think about it all you want. There's no such thing as "idea of killing yourself", that is to say, it's very far removed from the actual act of genuinely choosing to take your life. If you ever try it, you'll know.
What you really want is escape, and if you've convinced yourself death is the end of everything, seems like the intuitive way of opting out if you've decided you're so weak you can't handle life itself.

I somehow manage to attract girls but they always turn out to be batshit insane. Any other anon's know this feel? I just want to meet somebody who at least has an inkling of what she wants to do with her life.

>>11199338
I agree with this. I'm a very upbeat person and I generally enjoy life even when terrible things happen, but I occasionally get suicidal thoughts as well. Sometimes I'm so bored and so lazy that I genuinely wish I would stop existing. Kinda like how I've never considered murdering anyone except in petty situations like when they're taking too long in line and I'm dead tired and I need to use the bathroom. Then, I think to myself, I really want this person to fucking die. And I mean it. I think dramatic suicides/kills done for some well-thought out reason are pretty rare.

>>11196736
he failed even in that

>>11199345
Iktf. Do you think it's because you present yourself as someone who has a good head on their shoulders?

>>11199155
Find a situation where you have an "in", and talk to her. You need to chat with her a bit before you spring coffee on her. Who knows, you might not even really like her. That being said, make sure you give this girl an experience. Make her laugh and feel something. By creating a connection, she'll want to see you again.

I'm moving far away and will never see this girl I'm close with ever again. I want to spend the summer with her, but I know I'm going to be stuck on the fact that nothing will ever happen. I'll leave, and soon we will forget about each other. In some ways it's nice to have that finality and closure, but it also makes me feel sad since my mind won't stop thinking about her right now.

>>11199345
This happens to me too. Strange, because I'm obese, only a little handsome, and I never approach anyone. I always somehow attract these girls that make me feel insecure about how normie they are, and how successful they are in life compared to me, that for some weird reason want to get in a relationship... and then I find out it was deceit all along and they're completely fucking crazy and they want to kill their parents and think they have endless disorders and they're going to fuck my friends, kill my parents, and burn my house down if I don't answer their calls within a few minutes, because that means I'm definitely cheating.
Goddamn. I just wanna go back to being little and playing MMOs all day

>>11199539
Just don't be such a killjoy and help them murder their fucking parents. What have you got to lose? You sound boring. It really is a mystery what they find in you. Maybe they just want to help you.

I am generally a very happy person and have never been depressed even though I’m a KHV NEET. All the miserable posts in these threads are such an alien thing to me.

>>11196960
>Whenever I see people doing better than me I just think "well they are gonna die one day haha take that normies" and this is somehow some grand discovery.

>>11199649
Same, anon. All that depresses me is real life shit like taxes, dentists, and family.

>>11196853
Reading this post made me feel much less lonely than I usually do. Thank you anon. I might print it out desu.

>>11199724
yeah i personally hate food shopping.

after the rain comes sun and after the sun comes rain again after the rain comes sun and after the sun comes rain again

Fucked two tinder girls a day apart. Yesterday was another rest day. Do I fuck another one tonight?

technology is no longer alienating, its immersive. tv, radio, internet, video games, etc. this is why there wont be anymore revolutions.

the soviet union didnt collapse from being conquered or destroyed by america, they collapsed because of internal problems.

"Post-truth world" is the world that suddenly appeared when those who manipulated information before were no longer, thanks to the Web, the only ones able to do it.

wondering what happened to turn nerds from elitist pricks who criticize everything to consumerist gluttons who praise everything

>>11200112
>technology is no longer alienating, its immersive. tv, radio, internet, video games, etc. this is why there wont be anymore revolutions.
The second part is right, but the first is not, technology is more alienating than ever.

I like studying math because I can fully immerse myself in it without the angst I inevitably get from indulging excessively in literature.

Clocks are weird, man. Why does PM start with 12 instead of one. It goes 12, 1, 2, 3, etc. I keep wanting to say 12 AM in the afternoon because it makes so much more sense.

I have been a hardcore neet for like at least 7 years now. I have developed severe agoraphobia and my body is weak from lack of sun or fresh air.
I hate everything about being alive. I hate my personal reality. I hate that politics has turned into this zero sum game, never ending culture war. I hate the globalist capitalism rules over all. and there is no hope for anything different.
I cant find the words to capture the feeling of being alive in this modern age. Some sort of mundane agony.
The grey abyss of late capitalism as you wait for automation and climate change to kill everyone.
Sometimes i have this fantasy that i can just open up a portal to a different world and leave
recently looked up some kid i knew from high school. Looks like another one killed himself.

Sometimes i fantasize about kidnapping my old art teacher, she was the only one i ever loved.

>>11196416
Is my lifestyle sustainable without fossil fuels?
How can the planet be saved?

>>11200174
I literally have to look up if noon is Am or Pm every time.

>>11200188
>PM
>Post meridiem
>Post mid-day
>Past noon
>After noon
>After 12:00

So the first second after 12:00 is PM as it is after 12:00. Now you know!

>>11200112
Technology is alienating because it's immersive. Everything electronic has become homogenized and there's no escape from it.
The Soviet Union's internal problems were exacerbated by the US.
Can't argue with the rest.

>>11200180
>Sometimes i fantasize about kidnapping my old art teacher, she was the only one i ever loved.
Don't let your dreams be dreams, anon.

Haven't had any meaningful conversation with another person in like three years. All my posts online are flavours of ironic shitposting. Don't read, don't work out, spend my free time in front of the screen, and I don't even post that much/play videogames, so I have no idea where my time goes, looking back I can't even tell what I was doing today. Every day feels like the previos one. No motivation, no goals, nothing.
le depression sigh

I put my fingers in my asshole last night and accidentally caused myself a rectal orgasm for the first time in my life. It lasted like 20 minutes and was quite uncomfortable but also nice in a weird way. May do it again sometime soon if I have the courage.

I'm still confused why the synopsis for PKD's "Time Out Of Joint" spoiled the twist.
Looking at some other websites now they aren't spoiling it, but the little paragraph on the Nook page did.

>>11200259
How deep? I tried it once and didn't feel anything.

>>11196685
being ignored is the worst :/

>>11200259
Finger*

>>11200273
Definitely deeper than I've ever gone before. Probably half to three quarters of my finger.

>>11200254
>tfw you're only a moderate shitposter at worst
>spend so much time on 4chan that you completely forget how normal humans function
>casually shitpost on a facebook page
>get like 20 angry messages calling you a troll and telling you to show some respect
>feel bad after reading all of their comments
This place changes you, man.

I keep staring at my phone waiting for a particular name to appear
We were supposed to go hiking.
I cut cantaloupe and bought cranberries
I cleaned my room and my kitchen.
Yet all I see is this cursed background
"slide up to unlock"
Time yokes me
chokes me
I wish I did not see it every time I check my phone
But days mull past
And still blank screen.
Fuck my background on my phone
I hate looking at it.
Orphaned and absent words.

I never met anyone who could give me a boner like you. Yet that's all you were.

It is frightful for one person to have such control over you.
I wrote in permanent marker on my arm "you control who you control."
it's been better.
I'm almost over it.

How do I stitch together a rented heart?

(not my best prose, but shit man.)

I think an economic apocalypse is on its way and honestly wouldn't be surprised if there was widespread civil conflict in the US within the next decade or so. The 90s are dead, folks; art is a luxury; a reality television star is the American president; there is no magical Austin, Texas where would-be Richard Linklater's can live cheap and focus on their true calling. Anybody who isn't ready is going to be eaten alive by automation and the gig economy.

Basically, you are going to have to code or have a real 21st century skill if you don't want to drive for Uber and compete with the tide of sullen mud people.

>>11200112
>technology is no longer alienating, its immersive.
>wondering what happened to turn nerds from elitist pricks who criticize everything to consumerist gluttons who praise everything
These are good points

I hate the fact that I can't really get my creative works out there. For example, I'm into photography and I have an instagram account, but I don't have the confidence to do the whole shill your work to everyone thing. I don't have anyone engaging me about my work, so a better part of me feels like I'm doing all this work for nothing.

>>11200306
FUCK she just texted me?!?# WAT.

I want to write a short story that ends with incest, but I don't know how I feel about people I know potentially finding out about it. I don't want to use a pen name and try to keep it secret, but I don't want to hand that shit out for everybody to read at Thanksgiving dinner instead.

I don't have a problem with the the practice of abortion, but I was thinking about once and made up an argument against it.

It goes like this.
There is a baby born with a debilitated mind. It can not feel pain nor can it even think. It is essentially in the same non-existant state as a developing fetus, but is outside of the womb. Would it be ethical to kill the baby if the parents did not want it or no longer want it?
And what if it were known that baby would be wholly cured of its debilitation in less than a year, becoming just like a normal, healthy infant? Would it remain ethical to kill the baby before then if so desired?

>>11200254
you have to disconnect.

>>11200502
What's the problem? Incest is not that big of a taboo nowadays, so I doubt people will care. Of course, if you're planing to describe sex in details that's another story.

>>11200335
fuck coding. i plan to kill myself after grad school if i cant get a humanities job

im at peace

>>11199461
My ex broke up with me Feb 14th of this year. She made me give up a lot to be with her, and then left me. My heart aches, but I'm forgetting now. I think that's even worse. I'm mourning and missing that which I can't even bring to mind.

>>11200545
>Incest is not that big of a taboo nowadays
Is it really? My biggest concern is if my cousin stumbles on to it and she realizes I'm into incest and starts asking me questions that I don't know if I would be able to answer them.

The sublime indifference of Capital... God-killer, value-maker, man-breaker, artist-tyrant. Creator, competitor, master, mother. Capital

>>11200502

Why can't pro-choice people just be honest and say they want to be able to kill inconvenient people? Stop with all the choice nonsense and pretending the unborn aren't human.

>>11200792
Do you spill your seed?

>>11200335
That would be kind of silly - civil conflict I mean.

Reconstruction didn't break the union, desegregation didn't break the union... PC broke the union?

I pick up any semi-difficult text and have trouble understanding it. I feel like such a brainlet.

>>11200726
love this, but why call it sublime? surely you can put it into words, no?

>>11200799
Sperm are not distinct organism belonging to the species homo sapiens who will grow into an adult human being. Jesus Christ pick up a damn biology textbook.

>"Althought life is a continuous process, fertilization is a critical landmark because under ordinary circumstances, a new, genetically distinct human organism is thereby formed."
-Human Embryology & Teratology, 3rd edition pg. 8

>"Zygote. This cell, formed by the union of an ovum and a sperm (Gr. zyg tos, yoked together), represents the beginning of a human being. The common expression 'fertilized ovum' refers to the zygote."
-Before We Are Born: Essentials of Embryology and Birth Defects

>"The development of a human begins with fertilization, a process by which the spermatozoon from the male and the oocyte from the female unite to give rise to a new organism, the zygote."
-Langman's Medical Embryology

these threads are good & I like to read their messages, they make me feel good. i like this board

>>11200792
This isn't as philosophically obvious as are you're pretending it is. And no, the biologic definition of "alive" is irrelevant, what we're concerned with is when a being gains moral rights.

>>11200876
Being alive is relevant by the left's own standards. They're the ones who insist that all human beings should be treated equal but then they turn around and pretend that some humans aren't really human so they can get away with treating them unequally. Either humans deserve rights by virtue of they human nature or they don't. Equality hangs on that thread.

>>11200900
Again, you're oversimplifying things. "All beings with moral rights should be treated equally" and "Not all beings have moral rights" are not contradictory statements.

>>11200918
What rational basis is there for giving some human beings rights but not others that couldn't be used to justify things like slavery? I don't think there is any which is why I say that it only makes sense for humans to have rights based on their nature as rational animals. When you discriminate against unborn humans and say they shouldn't have rights because they're too small or undeveloped that same rational can be used to discriminate against certain born humans for the same reasons.

>>11200947
What about a being being rational grants it rights? Define “rationlatiy”, and not in a way that's contingent on– as in, references within its definition– specifically humans and human biology, as that would be circular logic for the purposes of granting special rights to humans.

>>11200966
Nature is "what something is" and to be rational to have the ability to speculate or philosophize. To seek knowledge for knowledge's sake alone. All humans have this rational nature regardless of whether they've yet to fulfill it or can't fulfill it due to some privation.

>>11200830

I don't know why I still check facebook. It's just depressing keeping up with the lives of people around. Everyone is getting married and having kids or going on a trip or something.

>>11200992
>Nature is "what something is" and to be rational to have the ability to speculate or philosophize.
you still haven't defined rationality, animals can definitely "speculate" in a primitive sense, what is "philosophizing", and when has anyone sought knowledge for its own sake? all actions of all humans are hedonistic whims for the acquisition of knowledge. every philospher wrote because it was pleasurable for him to do so in some regard.

>>11201030
*acquisition of pleasure
excuse me

>>11201026
How is that depressing? I don't understand? Life isn't a competition. As long as you have a woman, you are good, sir. You've won.

Marriage sucks balls. And so do kids. Jesus christ.

>>11201051
>As long as you have a woman
Haha.. Yeah.

>>11201030
If you think animals can act like Socrates then that's fine. It's not an argument against what I'm saying but an argument that those animals should also have rights since they're rational animals. It wouldn't follow that because other animals are rational therefor humans should have rights based on their rationality. It's completely irrelevant why people seek knowledge and I don't see why you would focus on that unless you're arguing in bad faith.

>>11200826
Sure, a zygoyte can grow into a human being, the same way a single dot of mold can grow into a real pain in the ass.

Just being inflammatory, sorry. But you've quoted three books for really no reason. They don't say anything interesting.

>When an egg and sperm are separate, they don't grow into a human being
>Together, they start the process of growing into a human being
Woah!

The real argument here is what constitutes a life that is worth protecting. You seem to believe that even a zygote is worth protecting since it becomes human.

But this just doesn't hold up to examination. There are plenty of cases where human lives which might become something better have their blood spilt by Christians in the name of common good - state executions and warfare most commonly.

You're defending keeping something which is literally a pile of cells, that has no senses alive, and calling it human. That just doesn't add up.

>>11201065
Zygotes aren't human because Christians killed people? /lit/ is really bring their best today.

>>11201063
Everything I said was relevant– you listed the criteria for imbuing within something rights that prohibit its murder that I am contesting, specifically w/r/t their uniqueness to humans (in order to demonstrate a pro-abortion, anti-natural rights point). I sure hope it doesn't come off that I'm arguing in bad faith, and I think that claim is sorta made in bad faith by you yourself.

>>11201074
>The point
>
>
>
>Your head

You can't claim you shouldn't kill something because it's human and then kill humans

Everything is and always has been fucking boring.

>>11201074
The other point, that considering zygotes human is silly and arbitrary, is separate, but also true.

>>11201111
maybe he's not christian, pretty fallacious to assume all prolife ppl are

>>11201103
You're missing the point because the rational nature doesn't have to be unique to humans. If aliens land on Earth and demonstrated their ability to do math they would also be entitled to the same rights that humans receive because they would also be rational animals.

I'm poor, was able to pay the rent but my Wi-Fi is down, no cable, and my phone is broken so when I go home there will be no electronic way of people getting ahold of me. I spent my last three dollars and beer. It's been my first 2 days off in over 2 weeks of a dead end job that sucks energy from my soul. They called me in. Said I couldn't make it in, and i couldn't, mentally that is. I feel sick in my head and feel my mental problems re surfacing.

>>11201126
Yeah, desu, that ones on me. I was just shitposting in a christian thread, sort of forgot which thread I was in.

I've oversocialized myself over the past couple of years, and now I'm lonely constantly. Instant Messaging sucks dick, I'll never overindulge to that degree again.

>>11201118
Do something. Even if it hurts. Do something. Don't live under rock clouds with creases of misery. Live upon the rock with creases of misery. Do something that will ruin your life. Your mind will never be bored just sad

>>11201141
Oh and I'm 600 in debt to a drug dealer

>>11201133
Okay, but I'm contesting the difference between granting a human (zygote) rights and granting an animal, such as a dolphin or a pig, rights. As in, I'm contesting the rights' uniqueness to any arbitrary category of things that you choose, alien and human or human exclusively.

I work in the financial industry. We all know when the market will crash, at the moment we are just trying to figure out how to make the most money out of it. Also, crypto is a scheme and you're all falling for it again, just like you did in 2001.

>>11200726
you know what must be done

>>11201179
What exactly is arbitrary about it? If you have the nature of a rational animal you have rights. Pigs don't have the same rights as us because pigs by nature don't have the ability to philosophize. I think you're confusing instinctual behavior found in animals, like learning to kick over a trough because it rewards them with more access to food with philosophical behavior that I'm talking about which as far as we know is unique to humans--things like studying the stars simply for the sake of learning what they are. Dolphins don't do that.

>>11201218
I addressed all this in >>11201030 and you called it irrelevant. *Everything* is instinctual– everything is based on the orders of chemicals or some combination of chemicals in the brain, and some animals' brains are almost a tiny bit as complex as ours. Nothing is inherently "philosophizing" and nothing is inherently not doing so. Goethe writes for the same reason a mouse traverses a maze to get what looks like food: the acquisition of pleasure. Your categories are arbitrary, circular b/c their definitions (the purpose of finding whom is for you to exclusively give humans or humans and aliens, humans and aliens and faries, . . . rights– in reality only humans) are contingent on words that upon examination loop back to your intuition that humans are different for some reason, and definitely not thorough– morality must be thorough, uncircular, and unarbitrary.

>>11200698
I'm sorry to hear that anon. Has your mourning toned down, or is it still as strong? What did you have to give up for her?

>>11201280
Let's assume that I am operating instinctually. That I'm concocting this whole philosophy because I feel that humans are different than other animals. So what? It's doesn't follow from this that I'm wrong and humans aren't somehow different. There are actual intellectual difference between humans and other animals like pigs.

Most animals for whatever reason can only learn instinctively. The rat goes through the maze because he thinks he'll find food. He doesn't go through the maze because he enjoys solving puzzles and that's what separates us from them. We do get pleasure from solving puzzles and this philosophizing nature is what rights have classically been founded on. You can hold the position that a pig learning to kick over a trough is the same as man gazing at stars but you're being disingenuous.

How do you stop the urge to talk to your ex and beg for a second chance oh my fucking God it's maddening

>>11201368
>It's doesn't follow from this that I'm wrong and humans aren't somehow different
I'll grant you that, but it doesn't follow that you're right, either, and that's what you're trying to prove (as everyone is).

>He doesn't go through the maze because he enjoys solving puzzles and that's what separates us from them.
Sure, but what's different about acquiring pleasure from eating and puzzle-solving? Puzzle-solving is instinctual, too: puzzle-solving helps humans survive, so we've adapting to enjoy it– eating helps rats survive (by not starving themselves), so they've evolved to enjoy it. I see no categorical difference, nor any justification for the different assignment of rights that arise from those differences.

>>11201407
think about how futile it'll be, and the disutility that'll result. you want to maximize your utility, right?

>>11196960
Watch some Jordan Peterson videos, particularly his ones on nihilism. This post will be mocked but I had a similar mindset and he helped me. He has a lot of psychological wisdom, and you seem ready to leave your pathetic nihilism behind.

I don't like texting people, and they think i'm a dick for taking too long to answer them

>>11197055
I’ve been becoming more and more racist recently and I’m not sure how to reverse it. It started as a hatred of SJWs but since so many minorities have the SJW victim mindset, combined with my knowledge of racial IQ differences, has lead me into racism and I really hate it. It doesn’t make my life any better but I don’t see how I can reverse it.

Like I’ll still treat minorities as individuals because there are good people in any group, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling anger towards the group as a whole, ya know?

what in me is holding on? to my molestation, to my manufactured ideal childhood that I pretend to miss in an effort to feel something..anything. I honestly don't feel like writing this post anymore. It's the same pretentious shit I've been doing most my life. I don't want to be me anymore. I don't like anything about myself, most of which I cannot change.It doesn't matter no one cares , and they really shouldn't. I'm not worth anyone time, and I couldn't communicate well enough for anyone to help me . I'm on an island, and I deserve to die here

>>11201413
Why does there need to be a categorical difference? Even if we're arbitrarily choosing intellectual capacity as the foundation for rights it's not like there's something less arbitrary to base them on.

>>11198888
Find a way to get yourself out of the house and enjoy yourself.

>>11196960
Read the book Universe in Disenchantment

>>11199237
You need to retrain your brain. You’ve obviously entertained horrible thought patterns which don’t help you in the least. It’s time for some CBT my nig nog

>>11201429
You're, It doesn't, that's misguided of me. But you're still acknowledging that it's arbitrary, and that there's no reason to assign different rights based on it (or anything).

>>11197189
Why didn’t you apply to a less selective small liberal arts college than Amherst. There are lots of incredible ones that are easier to get into, but still are quite prestigious (for example, Kenyon College). Small LACs are fucking amazing for the humanities, if you can afford them

>>11201458
I didn't say it was arbitrary, but that even IF it was, why would that matter? Supposing it is completely arbitrary it would still make more sense to base rights on intellectual capacity rather than something like the ability to eat food. Just for practical reasons. A society couldn't function if rights were based on the ability to consume food.

>>11200144
Maybe you’re reading the wrong literature? I mean some definitely brings angst but maybe you should just avoid those types.

I've been shitposting bait on /v/ about the new battlefield game. Must have got a good 50 (you)'s by now. I don't even play videogames lol.

>>11201177
what drugs are you wasting your life on anon? get a credit card for your food and stop being a slave to a plant

>>11201206
when will it crash anon? quit larping, you don't know.

>>11201570
Not that guy but the existence of the business cycle is econ 101. Combined with the still-low interest rates, the massive deficit courtesy of the party of fiscal responsibility, and the length of time since the last recession it's not a crazy prediction that the market is going to crash.

>>11200700
If that happens, just fuck her. You know you want to.

>>11201564
>stop being a slave to a plant
Hell no would I would spend 600 dollars on weed for personal use. And it's a debt of a close family member that fell on my head. Oxy, morphine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXafJbb0o7s
I think this is fundamentally what all my problems boil down to. It's not as evident now, but deep down that's why I behave the way I do.

For a moment I confused Anna Karenina with film about a princess(socialite, duchess?) that stole her sister's fiancé, only to later left him for another, then she stole her other sister's fiancé and so on, she keep destroying people life while raising through society, until her tragic dead. Was this a real person/movie or am I remembering wrong?

I'm in the mood for sucking some cock

>>11202150
I saw that movie it's called the princess diaries it's really good

I wish I were Hannah Diamond

im sorry if i ever came off as rude, weird, mean. as cliche as it sounds its me not you. I wish i could be normal, that i could enjoy life, relax. But i have always been riddled with anger, anxiety, self hatred, and a deep depression. and i feel like when im in front of people i have to perform. You wouldn't like the real me. I dont know why im like this, nothing too crazy in my life, at the same time a life of isolation and coldness. I never had many real friends, never the warmth of a woman. Never anyone to talk to. And when i did talk to someone i was rejected or ignored. The general feeling of "what do you have to be stressed about". I agree. Its doesnt make any sense. But i used to go into manias of creativity and then deep suicidal depression, and now its just non stop fatigue and hopelessness. I cant stop thinking about death. I see no purpose in life, never had any ambitions. I avoided people when i could, i hated being in front of people because i just feel so embrasses and humiliated, i have no idea how i made it through school.

i rarely fall in love with women, gomez was the only one, and i wanted her for more than sexual reasons, i wanted to just be, just be with her. As i have grown older i dont think i could have ever made it with her, she was too nice. It was a school boy infatuation. I will forever be grateful that she cared though. she was the only one. The reality though is the type of girl that i gel with is one who wants to put a ciggerrate out on my forehead.

I really am a fuck up of the highest order hahahahah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GfGxXGy5Bs

>>11202397
Naw man I think you can still unfuck your shitty way thinking by doing something you love and concentrating your mania into it. You also still need to learn how to love yourself with all this baggage you have brought over the years.
Best of luck anon

>>11202397
this guy is no doubt an insufferable spammer who posts stupid shit 24/7, they're always the biggest fucking losers

>>11200144
yeah dude i'm getting into math more lately just cuz its totally disconnected from anything political, i am so fucking sick of liberal whining about god damn trump, i wish they had whined this much when bush started an illegal war under false pretenses, but anyways, yeah math is a chill respite from the bullshit of life, plus if you're good at it, you're good at it, objectively, there's no issues of "taste" or "identity" in math, there's no gatekeepers

>>11197162
2 clues to who you are

>be part of a certain online community for over six years
>seen countless members come and go
>it's pretty much in its dying days now with a lot of the long term members leaving
>broad who hasn't been part of the community for even a year manages to take control of everything
>takes away the one thing I enjoyed the most about it
>no one seems to give a shit about me leaving
It's such a shitty time waster and a part of me is glad I'm done with it. But another part of me feels kinda empty that something I've been a part of for six years is something I can't enjoy anymore. I'm just salty about the whole thing. Worst part is before this happened she tried to put up a front like the two of us were friends. When I told her I had issues with her decision and was leaving, she was pretty much just like 'see ya.'

>>11201316
I was with a beautiful girl around 2015/16. My now ex came back into my life after a year of being apart because of final year college stress. I returned home from teaching in China and left the new girl to rekindle with the old. Fast forward six months and I'm going to Dubai to teach. Planning on doing two years. If I make it two years I'll get a lump sum payment of €15k. I come home that Christmas, ask her out, she says yes, life is good. When it comes to signing a contract to stay or going back to China for another stint I was constantly reminded to think of what I have at home (her). So like the donut that I am I return. Again, all is fine. Life is good. I have a job that will get me enough cash to get through college 2.0. A year of being home passes when she asks me to meet her, and tells me it's not enough, slán.

Could have stayed with a really cool girl. Could have made a lot of money. Really I've only myself to blame.

It hasn't gotten any easier. It feels like she died, and I didn't get to say anything about it. I still don't know why she left. Everything was perfect from my end. And I think that's the larger problem.

I'm starting to wonder if my mom is kind of a shitty person. I feel like she has this huge victim complex and she's partly responsible for driving a wedge between our nuclear family and our extended family. There's always been some huge drama involving money. For the longest time I took her side because what she said sorta made sense. But I'm starting to have doubts because I've only heard her part of the story. For example my uncle needed money for his business so he could earn a living, my mom convinced my dad to sell some extra plot of land and gave my uncle a loan. My uncle never paid her back, and when my mom brought it up, my grandma basically took my uncle's side and asked her why everything is always about money with her. Since my grandma is basically the matriarch of our extended family, she basically convinced all my aunts, uncles and cousins to cut their ties with our family. There's some other stuff, like my aunt and cousins living in our old house back at our home country. They were supposed to pay rent, but they were usually late or they underpaid or whatever. Instead of taking care of the house they neglected all the repairs and basically turned it into a dump with a leaky roof. I was pretty much on board with the whole our extended family just hates us for no reason thing she came up with. But then I started to notice how she treated my dad's side of the family. Every year, we usually rotate who gets to host the family Christmas get together. It was supposed to be our turn last year, but she refused to do it because she said it took too much effort to clean the house and cook the food and she's getting older. Think is two months after Christmas, every year she hosts this weird church/group prayer party thing at our house that basically takes the same amount of effort as a Christmas party. But that's her think, since she's super keen on Jesus, so she puts up with the work. Pretty sure she hated having Christmas with my dad's family at their houses because she feels like no one ever talks to her, even though she doesn't put in the effort to talk to anyone either. And she's salty whenever they serve food with shrimp since she's allergic to shrimp, so she thinks his family is inconsiderate or whatever. The thing is my cousins live kinda far away. She already alienated her side of the family, now she's finding reasons to alienate my dad's side of the family. I've just come to realize how petty she can be. I had an argument with me two months ago, she hasn't spoken to me since, not even to wish me a happy birthday. I haven't spoken to her either since I'm as stubborn as her. I dunno, I just wanted to vent. I'm just worried that she might have destroyed my relationships with extended family with the type of shit she's been doing.

>>11202654
imagine studying math because of fucking trump

>>11196685
My brain is a nigger. No matter the evidence I will always doubt whatever sign she may or may not throw my way

When I sat here at work, after having finished my lunch, I yearned to be outside where all the green is pretty wet right now and nice smells drift about. Then it occured to me that I could simply go for a small week to enjoy this, and so I did.

While wandering about, my mind drifted off to when I graduated from my country’s high school equivalent, which has been some eight years ago now. Traditionally, all the graduating pupils would set up camp on the school grounds for one night and on the next morning play some number of pranks on the other pupils and teachers, like barring school doors with bike locks and such.

On the night of our camp, it was quite perfect warm weather. Together with a friend who was also intrigued, I bought a bottle of Whisky, which I’d never tasted before that night. My friend had had lots of Vodka already in his life, but I had never had anything stronger than wine.

Of course I’d never been friends with a lot of people in school. So when the evening started gaining pace, I found myself just sitting around with a mixed bunch of people and was pretty bored. Then something happened that was really unrelated to me but depressed me a whole lot. I mean I’d been depressed for years, but that occasion really put me into the mood to say to myself, blast it all, I’m just gonna keep drinking Whisky now with no stopping and do whatever the heck I want.

>>11203446

So I walked over to a group of people where I’d had kind of made friends with some of them, mostly in the last few weeks really, after I hadn’t approached anybody for years. So we still weren’t very close, but we knew each other a bit; my being shy and all was the reason I needed that "blast it all" conviction to join them on that night at all, I guess.

Anyhow things really took of from there. Another guy whom I secretly liked a whole lot had also brought a bottle of Whisky and when I had lost track of mine, together we drank from his. Sitting round "fires" that were only tinfoil barbeques for single use, but very nice. I threw strawberries and marshmellows to/after the other people gathered round there. (We were about 7 to 9 I guess.) I probably talked a lot, and entertainingly. About four of us went for a walk to some cabin nearby that belonged to relatives of one guy for a reason I’ve really forgotten, but that walk was wonderful.
In the camp there was such a nice atmosphere in some way. We were about 200 people so it was quite large, and I knew everyone. I never liked most of those people, but it was nice to see familiar faces all around.

Eventually I blacked out, and the next morning woke up in a lot of vomit. Oh well. That’s still the only time that has ever happened to me in my life.
But it’s also the only time I’ve ever been drunk in such a wondrous atmosphere. I guess on music festivals it would be similar, though of course you’ll not be familiar with most of the people there.
So when I thought back to the whole thing, I felt sad. Youth is really coming to an end now and I start to regret all the things that I did not do and that there will be no sense in doing anymore now.
When I was in my early twenties, I drank a lot, but mostly alone. Just wandering through the city or such. Once, a girl wanted to take me to a student party, but it was packed with people and the terrible music was too loud; well I was way depressed by that time anyway. We ended up just going to a bar for shot if liquer or two and then parted ways.

>>11203446
>>11203458
I read the whole thing. How old are you?

>>11203464
Thanks for reading my blog. I’m about 28 now.

>>11201559
Very nice.

>>11196853
Using twitter made me feel terrible. The people I knew on there, I actually liked. But I always felt like I had to put out great tweets to keep up with them. Get them to fav my tweets. I think twitter would be much better (for me) if there was no fav function. Then there would be more conversation, less trying to be one-shot extremely witty.
Also everyone was so clique-oriented and the tweets of course had to be witty in nihilistic, edgy ways, I don’t know, I just could not bear it.
Everything I wrote about that I really cared for garnered close to 0 reaction, every genuine self-deprecating tweet was a hit.

>>11196416
It's really hard to stay motivated in writing sometimes. Determination is more important, it's a good thing to harness if possible.

>>11203458
Nice. Your writing is frank and has a comfy vibe, similar to Knausgård.

'Negro' and 'negroid' are cool words. I wish they weren't categorized as slurs.

I want a my belly full of rice. When my belly is full of rice, I could eat a belly full of rice. Belly full of rice equals fulfilled belly fulfilled with rice. Rice is nice, when it's in my belly and right now, boy is my belly full of rice.
Rice is nice, and my belly likes to be filled by rice, fulfilled to the fullest with rice that is nice, and rice is nice, and my belly loves my nice rice on top of it some ice age killed the dinosaurs, but I get the feeling that I need to not to worry about those big lizards, because they are big and they can survive, even if they have a bit cold every now and then and then even though, you thought, it was, but it was. But that it was, and it was so.

>>11203713
I feel that way about 'queer', though attitudes seem to be changing towards it.

>>11203780
I don't think queer is derogatory. Plenty of gays and whatnot use it as a label, like "the queer community".
Also I've never heard of it being bad to use it as a synonym for 'weird/strange".

>>11203814
It certainly was / is in some cases, but yeah I know the gay community has embraced it as of late. I'd still be uncomfortable using it in conversation though.

I've seen CBT mentioned several times on /lit/ recently. Anyone have a guide to it I could try without having to wait six months to see a therapist?

>>11202679
Name your country and I'll let you know.

>>11203458
Comfy story, anon.
>>11204046
You need a therapist to work it out. Just hold on, nigga.

i just got fired lol

>>11204250
What did you do anon?

I've decided to go to back to school, this time at a third tier state university. and get a degree in computer science. I worried that we're soon going to see a sharp economic division between those who can automate things and those who get automated; and also a qualification in the field could well help me become a librarian, my ultimate goal.

toegoists

>>11196416
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uVqnJUm9hg
LAST HUMAN, FORTUNATELY SURVIVED THE DEADLY VIRUS, MAKING THE ENTIRE POPULATION VANISHING IN A MATTER OF DAYS. THE MAN IS LIVING HIS LAST YEARS CONSUMING WHATS LEFT FROM HUMANITY, MOVOING FROM TOWN TO TOWN, FOR YEARS, SEARCHING FOR ANY SENSE TO CONTINUE EXISTANCE, BUT FINALLY HE GETS TIRED OF LONELLYNESS AND LIFE, HE DECIDES TO END UP HIS LIFE. THATS WHEN HE REALISISES THAT IT'S NOT IN HIS AUTHORITY ANY MORE, HE FEELS THAT THE UNIVERSE WITH ITS MISTERIOUS POWER IS SUSTAINING HIS LIFE TO EXPIRIECE ITSELF THROUGH HIS BODY AND CONSIOUSNESS, HE IS THE LAST LIVE SENSE OF ''HER'' OWN SELF, HER EYES, FEELINGS AND THE ENDLESS POTENTIAL OF DEVELOPMENT. SHE LOVES HIM AND IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING ITS OWN ESSENTIAL RULES OF NATURE AND CREATION TO KEEP HIM ALIVE. IT DESCRIBES HOW LONELLY AND HELPLESS SHE IS WITHOUT HIM. THE MAN IS STRUGGLING WITH DILLUSIONS, EXPIRIENCING LIVES OF PEOPLE HE NEVER KNEW, SEEING THING HE NEVER SAW BEFORE, THEY'RE ALL PUT IN HIS MIND BY ''HER''/UNIVERSE SO ''SHE'' CAN FEEL AND EXPIRIENCE MORE THROUGH HIS BODY AND CONSIOUSNESS. IT'S A DESPERATE LOVE OF THE ULTIMATE POWER AND THE SUBJECT OF HER OWN CREATION. HE'S WATHING THE WORLD WITH THE OF HIGH INTELLECT, HE CREATES ART, HE PLAYS SYMPHONIES, FOR IT'S ALL THE WILL OF UNIVERSE TO CREATE, TO LIVE, THE ENTIRE POTENTIAL OF HUMAN ABILITIES IS OPENED TO HIM. BUT AS TIME PASSES HE'S GETTING WEAKER AND OLDER. WATCHING THE LANDSCAPES, NATURE AND OCEANS, HE FEELS HER PRESENCE EVERYWHERE IN EVERITHING, WHEN HE SUDDENLY FALLS ASLEEP IN THE FOREST THE GENTLE HAND OF LEAVES AND WATER WAVES AROUND HIM COVERING HIM CAREFULLY WITH THE WARM BLANKET AND SHELTER. SHE STREAMS THE ENERGY OF LIFE FROM THE NIGHT SKY INTO HIS BODY, TO SAVE HIM YOUNG AND VITAL. BUT HE'S TIRED, HIS ESSENSE IS LIMITED AND HE SEEKS THE END, RAMBLES ACROSS THE FIELDS IN SEMIDILLUSIONAL STATE, AND FINALY, STANDING ON A CLIFF BY THE OCEAN, STARING AT THE NIGHT SKY, SEEING THE SHIMMERING BEAUTY OF EXISTANSE HE SCREAMS AT THE SKY ''LET ME GO, I CAN'T LIVE ANY MORE, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!!!!'' AND THE MOMENT HE DOES THE SKY BEGINS TO FLOW LIKE BLACK, DENSE, THICK FLUID WITH STARS IN IT. IT DRIPS WITH DROPPLETS ON HIM AND IS FLOODING THE PLACE WHER HE STANDS, HE SHIVERS SCARED, THE MELTED SKY SUBMERSES HIM, HE DROWNS, AND THEN SUDDENLY AS THROUGH THE SLEEP, HE APPEARS IN AN UNKNOWN PLACE, WITH NATURE AND SEAS SIMILAR TO THOSE THAT ARE ON EARTH, HE WALKS ACROSS THE FIELDS AND VALLIES AND WONDERS THE BEAUTY, THEN HE HEARS THE WISPER ALL AROUND ''SEE, THIS IS THE NEW LAND, NEW BEGINNING, LET ME TAKE YOUR SEED AND SPREAD IT, SO THE LIFE CONTINUES HERE''. AND THEN HE WAKES UP ON THE PREVIOUS PLACE ON THE CLIFF, IN A BROAD DAY LIGHT, AND HE WALKES HOME, WEAKENED, KNOWING THAT ''SHE'' SET HIM FREE AND WHEN HE DIES HE'S GOING TO RETURN TO THAT PLACE THAT HE SAW IN HIS VISION TO START THE NEW BEGINNING.

>>11196488

Read the parts that do have the spirit and the feeling. At some point you went off course and continued off course. Identify that part and rewrite what needs to be rewritten. Probably lost the narrative voice in your head as you were writing.

>>11196661
>know she wasn't interested in me at all
>haven't seen her for six months
>still have a scrap of vain hope that one day she suddenly shows up back in my life
It doesn't help that I've been approached by other girls in the university. It feels like I'm obsessed with her, but I have to accept the fact that she's gone and gone. Out of my life after we told each other good luck in our futures. It's shameful for me.

Now here I am, trying to write my first novel. It's going swell, really, since writing on my notebook leaves out all the distractions of the computer and somehow feels better that I know that everything I'm writing down won't ever make it into the final version. But I'm still enthralled every time she appears in a pic or story on Instagram.

>>11204264
yelled at/swore at a customer

>>11196450
i have approximately the same idea, but after ethical and spiritual bankruptcy, i probably kill myself. well let's work together, i have a big dick and i'm a cinephile. let's make tarkovskiporn

>>11197157
pathetic. rise above that shit.

It's tragic how unrequited love can turn seeing someone you adore into a source of anxiety.

>>11204730
As tragic as you being a massive sperg? Why the fuck would you be around a person that doesn't love you back? Are you underage?

Today I wrote nothing.

>>11204800
I think you need to work on your reading comprehension anon.

Culture is in trouble. I don’t think there’s an agenda or ill intent behind it. It’s just a rapacitious and greedy Entertainment-Commercialist Complex, one that first got unleashed forty-one years ago, at the 1977 premiere of Star Wars. The world was a different one back then, and society reflected just that. The oil crisis, Nixon, the Cold War, Vietnam…
People were in bad need for a rest, and Star Wars offered just that.
Films were always a form of escapism, but Star Wars revolutionized this by expanding its scope far beyond the screens. I don’t even mean the flood of merchandising. I mean the way it ingrained itself into the very fabric of culture.
Star Wars was immensely successful, naturally, other films tried to copy that and they’re evidently doing alright –Hollywood is now structured around the concept of franchisezation. Trilogies and sequels and prequels and reboots and spin-offs and expanded universes.
It’s dazzling how they get away with it. In theory, capitalization can only go so far, so there should always be need for a new shtick. Yet they manage to pull off the same trick over and over again by tapping into the nostalgia current emitted by a generation that’s always been exposed to this shit. They are willingly falling for offensively obvious cash grabs, for the sole reason of a false sense of loyalty. Where does it come from?
A cushioned 90s childhood spent in relative peace, far away from wars and economic hiccups? The consequence of a lack of identity and a masculine desire for identity, combined with advanced information technology?
The illusion of fulfilling that very desire by enlisting in some committed fan-base? Apart from the obvious tribalism, it offers a sense of descent by dancing around the golden calf of nostalgia.
Anyway, we live in curious times. Or maybe I’m just slowly turning into a schizo.

I hate prose so fucking much. I find it disgusting and see no beauty in it. if any one has anything which can change my mind just let me know.

>>11205457
Start reading literature.

>Been eyeing girl in my class all semester
>Made eye contact a few times, but never spoke
>Always want to but every time class is over she puts headphones in and doesn't linger around
>Had in class essay today and was gonna get up at the same time she did
>Finish my essay and wait like 10 minutes for her, she's still writing
>Leave
Tuesday is the last day and it's another in class essay, so I'll have an opportunity to wait, try and write more slowly this time.
I know if I don't do anything I'll be kicking myself during summer as I sit in my room all day doing nothing and having no plans wondering what if.
I feel courage now, but I've felt this courage before, even today when I told myself I'd talk to her and yet gave up. It's a facade.
And if I talk to her it'll seem contrived since I waited till the very last day and have never spoken to her before, don't even know what I'd say. I hate myself, I'm such a cowardly fag

>>11204357
I haven't seen her in almost 5 years

>>11205533
>she puts headphones in and doesn't linger around
>wait like 10 minutes for her, she's still writing
ffs stop bothering her
why would you wait 10 minutes for someone you'd never even said hi to?
just sit next to her next class you have with her and ask her for a pen idk
if you don't then forget about it, you won't lose anything
few tips:
>ALWAYS say "hi" or "hey" or anything to get her attention before speaking to her, otherwise she can just play dumb and pretend she didn't hear you well
>ALWAYS ask for her name and introduce yourself BEFORE anything. Make sure you remember her name and she remembers yours. Using her name instead of "hey" or "hi" usually helps to create a good mood where she doesn't see you as a threat.
>Don't be an obnoxious piece of shit and follow her everywhere. Just be clear whit her and with yourself and don't hesitate.
>No one gives a fuck about you and you shouldn't give a fuck about anyone either. Understand this in the correct way and your chains will be broken. Misunderstand this and you'll be doomed.

>>11205457
what the fuck are you doing here then

>>11205614
>ffs stop bothering her
Well I haven't bothered her before
>why would you wait 10 minutes for someone you'd never even said hi to?
Because I'm lonely
Thanks anyway, I'll heed your advice

>>11205610
I can't recall her face, nor her way of walking, nor her voice, nor her smell, nor the conversations we used to have.
Are these the consequences of drugs? Are these the symptoms of depression? Why do I forget about everything? Does it mean I don't really care about it? Then why does it hurt?

>>11205256
seek help

I don't even read books (I've read like 5-10 classics in total for the past two years), I like film, I just like it here because there's a similar vibe of being seriously into narrative art.

I'm worried about having different opinions to others in the writing class I'm in, or rather, I'm very bothered with how different I am to the rest of everyone else. Literally everyone is the typical leftie progressive feminist and I'm just...not. I don't even feel contemptous of women or anything like that, I've probably seen far more female directed films then everyone else in the class combined, but that type of interjecting that shallow and specific politics into art is just so goddamn boring. But because I'm alone it constantly just seems like I'm the one who needs to mature and get with the times.

It's frustrating as hell, especially when the teachers are as bad as the students.

unless

>tfw you find that source that agrees with everything you've been saying and confirms every hunch you had throughout the conceptualisation of the paper and now instead of having to write 2-3 paragraphs of 'bear with me now, I can explain this' from your own mind you can just say 'see? look, big famous smart guy agrees with me' in an elegant paragraph that rounds off and polishes the points you were trying to make anyway

How could I love you back, you who dropped your dreams in the gutter?

>>11205610
>>11205652
This has motivated me to finally tell the girl I'm interested in how I feel. Even if she laughs in my face and humiliates me it'll be better than what you guys are describing.

>>11196661
>deleted/blocked her from social media
>deleted her number from my phone
>stoped talking to anyone who was friends with her
>tfw this was three years ago
>tfw I still think about her every night
>tfw every time I feel my phone buzz I hope it's a message from her

Universal good is doing the right thing.The right thing right now is ending those who are creating an anti-social society. We live in a world where everyone can be happy. Since that isn't so right now, It is clear that the thoughts and actions of people are now compromised.

I hope to see the day that the true opposition to everything good has their spines broken like toblerones. By Our unified hand of god and the winds of change.

>>11196416
only god can judge me
only plato
only plato
only kant
tell me what i cant
do what i can
what its in a can
whats in a pea
whats in an element
whats in a proton
only god can judge me
only tupac
only god
only tupac
only god
only tupac
oh my god
tell me what tupac
meant
lead me through the shadow
of the valley
of death
oh god
judge me
oh socrates
judge me
oh athens
judge me
oh god
oh god
oh god
judge me

>>11206558
im in this feel man. it's fucking terrible. what the fuck do we do

>>11206899
only way to get sucked out of a black hole is through another black hole or so i'm told

>>11203289
Kek

>>11206750
>Universal good is doing the right thing

she has become the knife with which i explore myself

Real bored. https://vocaroo.com/i/s1EJjhrFhTJv

>>11207215
As a woman, I use a dildo to explore MYself.

>>11207240
That's funny, because, as a man, I use a dildo to explore my ANus.

>>11207240
pics or it didnt happen

I like having sex, but I love my girlfriend too much to explore it. I've got a hot-best friend, but she's got the morals of the original nun. I can't mix-and-match. I can't scratch and sniff. I'll cum to my friend anyway. GF hates the Jews, but best friend doesn't. Both of them love Dracula. How can this be?

>>11206892
no

hey is the anon who was planning to argue for marks for his essay here? how'd it go?

if you really want to
you can change only
one can change you
want to really change

>>11196416
I have a girlfriend but I don’t love her even like her anymore, however i’m too old (28) to start dating again.

>>11208114
wake up to
another day no more than
another dream, still, no
dreams to dream but
they really won't like that, so
try to tell a lie, try to
believe the lie don't
matter how far you go
someday won't come
another day no more

>want to sort out my life
>don't even know where to start
>know tomorrow i will have lost all motivation and it will just be the same as every other

>>11208137
You fucking idiot, learn game

She showed me a wonderful trick
A beautiful girl with a feminine dick
"I'm not a shower, I'm a grower"
I replied "of course, of course"
Little did I know that she hung like a horse
A fifteen inch cock, is that even possible?
She would render my boipucci completely inhospitable
We drank and we laughed and we fucked
Now I'm filling in the gaps
And looking up a good doctor
To fix my anal prolapse

>>11205967
Yes

But at the same time I always have this small, childish disappointment that someone had the idea before

>>11208327
It’s not about game mate. it’s about age. The pool is utterly diminished if not destroyed by the time one is entering their thirties.

>>11196807
>reddit
Glad you cured yourself from that illness.

>>11199649
I dunno, some people seem to think that they must or are supposed to feel bad if they are a KHV NEET because of society, morals or whatever thus they actually feel bad. I don't know why. It's not a bad thing, in fact it can even mean completeness depending on how one wants to face life.

>>11207452
Nice.

>>11208336
Actually fun.

>>11205791
What’re you even doing in that class; it’s not like you’ll learn anything really.

>>11205256
I conjecture
People are unconsciously-desparetely seeking for stuff to blow their money on to counteract the feeling of existential anxiety their uninspiring jobs instill in them. They are trapped in working those jobs, because once they have started to spend a lot of money on shit, they are afraid of cutting down on money earned (by working less, or similar) since that would mean LOSS (loss of spending capabilities / "lifestyle options"), and loss is one of the things humans are most afraid of.

>>11208327
>DAE not want a relationship, they just want le sex?
Underaged or redditor.

How do you meet /lit/ people? I happened to know a couple in high school but we've since drifted apart. Seems hard since there aren't really any activities literary people will go to participate in or anything. If I want to meet rock climbers, I can go to the crag or the gym. If I want to meet musicians, I can go to local concerts of jam sessions. What's the equivalent for people who read? Approaching random people at the used book store?

>>11209508
You can go to conferences, lectures etc but it's easier when you're studying in humanities I guess (I go to these things quite often and I've never met new people there, but that's just me). Maybe some poetry readings but I don't know if that's still a thing

All in all I think you need to know at least one or two "lit people" if you want to meet more of them

>>11209508
I'm 19 and completely directionless and still ruminating on the past when I was hanging out with my friends all day so I've just been going into the city and hanging out with vagrants.

>>11209508
Yea bro, I have the same issue, I know very few people who actually read. In America I feel as if no one reads, especially illiberal authors

>>11209669
Are you literally me?
Do you happen to live in Massachusetts?

I've identified the stages in the cycle of my continued indulgence in sugary foods. It goes:
Step 1: Normal health, but boredom leads to indulgence in junk food
Step 2: Feel horrible, make plans to quit all sugar outside of coffee
Step 3: Start feeling very nice, decide a few snacks wouldn't hurt
Step 4: Since I've already given in, I decide that I might as well go on, and the cycle repeats

This is harmful both to my willpower and to my spiritual progress in the path of renunciation. To stop this, I must draw strict lines so that there is no bending the rules, and I've decided that two per day will be my starting point, possibly going down to one later on. It feels pathetic that I should still struggle with this into adulthood, but I did lose all of that weight, so I'm sure it's possible. Let's try this again.

>>11204841

Hi Daniil

>>11209765
>>11209669
A directionless 19 year old? Unheard of. You guys better sort yourself out.

Sexual behavior and even desire ultimately is an urge that lies outside of the intellect and subjects an individual to its heteronomy.
The more they feed it, the stronger it grows.
Why don't people see this? People see how drug addiction pulls them along and alters their behavior but they refuse to confront the fact that "natural" mechanisms are doing the same thing. The strongest motivational pathways in most people's brain relate to sexual motivations. The sexual revolution is putting humanity in a true dark age. Brilliant insights, ideas, pursuits are all thrown out the window for 15 minutes of fun.
The mind reduced to the bidding of "muh dick".

Does the behavior of people through a lens of anonymity display the true nature of Man unbridled by societal dogma, or at least something close to it?

>>11209882

>>11209778
>outside of coffee
>adding sugar to coffee
might as well give up right now.

>>11209913
They're the only substances I've come across that lift the brain fog and allow me to slightly enjoy things. I wish I was lying, but all things taste more or less the same these days, so it's all that I've got.

>>11209886
No but it does display the true nature of man bridled by societal dogma

>>11209886
But the donning of the "anonymous" mask is just a perspective shift from the "normal", there is no removal of restraints just an exchange.

>>11209923
I understand feeling that way about coffee, it does make life better. It's just that adding sugar to it triggers me. Ruins the coffee, in my opinion.

i fell off not only the nofap wagon but also the no torturing-my-balls wagon, one day i'm going to go too far

>>11210435
>there is no removal of restraints
What? But of course there is.

what are some useful words to filter from /lit/? i think i've got most of the annoying threads filtered now but there might be some subject I've forgotten

>>11210836
>using wordfilters
what a fucking faggot. I bet you like cocks.

>>11210860
i only filter threads on the catalog. otherwise i would have filtered your kind of reply years ago.

>>11210836
Please share your list. The shitposting is funny for a while but you tire after the 400th "what did he mean by this?" thread.

Went on a date two days ago, had a great time, talked about literature and history. But now he's left town and I've been sad for two days.

>>11211261
>hes
lol faggot

>>11211149
here are most of them. some are just things that I'm personally sick of seeing:
trump, dune, alt-right, oxford, finnegans, capitalism, degenerate, feminism, the greeks, rap, what did he mean, scientology, hack, evola, kampf, nazi, fascism, schmitt, depression, guenon, esoteric, gnosticism, new here, marxist, sjw, neomarxist, pol, /pol/tard, stirner, nick land, spook, moby, pewd, nihilism, postmodern, orthodox, peterson.

>>11211385
also of course: "what am i in for?"

i just had an epiphany, thanks for the company boys

>>11196416
Sometimes I feel bitter that I missed out on sexually losing my innocence when I was young. But most of the time, I'm immensely grateful that I didn't experience it, or sex in general. Who knows what I would be like? I'm happy the way I am now.

>>11206899
>>11206558
I used to be like that. What helped me above all was reading psychology.

The human brain is extremely powerful in warping our perceptions of things. What I thought was love was actually a series of unrealistic fantasies to rescue me from my miserable existence, not the act of getting to know and appreciate another human being.

Perhaps you feel the same deep down about her, but I dunno. Either way, don't run from your complex emotions about her, but don't let them run you over. Let them attack you in full force so you can study its patterns. Learn what makes your enemy tick, how your memories with her influences other ideas that you have, your ideas of love and life and romance and beauty and hate and longing and grief and despair. The human mind is structured and complex, yet at the same time, so many memories and influences bleed into one another messily, like a big watercolor canvas.

Let your enemy, this cloud of negative emotions, totally overwhelm you, so you can tear it apart from the inside out.

I rub extra strength Bengay on my butthole while I fap. Feels pretty amazing like your butthole is literally on fire.

I just compered for an open mic night and I was awful. The worst fucker there. I did it as a favour for a friend and I could barely string a sentence together. My brain goes blank every-time I have to speak, even in normal situations. I just can't think of the words.

I know I'm not retarded, so what's wrong with me and how do I fix it? Its shit like this that makes it impossible to further my career and as well as have relationships with women.

>>11212468
it's called social anxiety. you can get meds for it or try cognitive-behavioural therapy

>>11212468
drink

>>11212468
have your writing printed out to read

>>11212451
is that safe? i heard dudes maybe gave themselves nut cancer from fappin with icy hot gold bond balls

>>11212451
kek

Are there any forums where the people aren't retarded? I'm just about done with this place.

I feel like I am losing my god damn mind. The days fly by and drag on, and on, and on. I just don't get it; this flow of time is overly peculiar. Worst of all, my projects, the sum of my wishes seem impossible and all the same plausible in the same clause. Can anyone shed some light on why I am this way? Why reality seems to warp so suddenly and commonly

I am scared of failure... But I know true failure is a straw man of the psyche almost all of the time when its conjured. I... don't understand any of it. The more I try to better prose, the more my original ideas drift. My projects which are many seem impossible to accomplish. I have started to ramble, but that in itself seems just; as this has all been a reflection of a my mindless loop.

>>11212793
I've been saying that for 9 years.

one of my balls aches from torturing it while fapping earlier, if it was truly dead it wouldn't hurt right? i read this story a long time ago on slashdot that was like an erotic slashdot fanfic were the editor cmdr taco "became a nullo" and in the story someone puts a thing around his nuts and they slowly die and fall off and then eventually have his dick removed by a surgeon, but the main thing is if u cut off ur nut circulation can ur nuts really die and fall off? i have anxiety now man

>>11212793
yo i feel u man i think this place finally hit the tipping point where it's worse than reddit. but to be honest the only forums i know of where people arent retarded have really asspained moderation systems and annoying "tone policing" but i guess thats the price u pay for not having to read spam by wackos

>>11212807
It won't hurt when its dead. But it would be excruciating if it was dying. After it's hemorrhaging, it's sending pain signals to your brain to tell you shit's fucked up. It would only stop hurting after your nerves were all dead, which is when it would start literally rotting off... or not off, in which case it would spread infection through your body, sending you into septic shock and eventually killing you.

But you're probably fine.

>>11212819
what are those spots? this place pisses me off and i'd rather have strict quality control than sifting through a bunch of bullshit.

>>11212821
ya my nuts werent even like purple or anything when i finished, i think i just crushed it a little bit at the beginning

>>11212827
they're not literature spots, tech shit, but there are like smart people, some with significant valley careers so they're not tryna get trolled by some fag in a basement in missouri

>>11206558
You'll get over it once you're brain decides it's a lost cause. No amount of sound advice from people will make it to your subconscious so quickly. Took me two years. Now I've found bigger things afflict me, and she was just a bandage. Don't stop talking care of yourself. The are many other pleasures to extract from life.

>>11206558
i had this with someone from college, once i saw on social media she got married (i would still google her every couple weeks, sad!) even my fantasies of reuniting lost interest

>>11212468
I think most people bomb at first

>>11206558
I'm glad I'm a virgin and don't have to deal with this nonsense. SSRIs have killed my libido and my brush with suicide has killed my ego. I have ascended beyond sexual and romantic and social relationships, I think

When I'm bored (often) I'll imagine stories based around my environment and self-insert myself. For example in winter when it's cold as fuck and the air hurts to breath, I'll pretend I'm the leader of a scientific research team in the far north or some shit like that.

Despite how autistic this is, I don't actually have autism. My life is fairly successful, albeit lonely and usually devoid of any sort of companionship.

Much easier to fall asleep imagining that you're curled up in your comfy underground arctic research base desu

if my ball doesnt die i swear i will stop torturing my nuts, i dont even care if it dies since u can still live on one nut, but like it will be too gay having a doctor examining it and shit plus i will go broke paying the fees, even worse what if the doctor is a chick i had a asian qt doctor give me a check up and i popped a bone in her face, so awful

>TFW /stim/'d out of my mind but no friends
>Feel empathetic and want to engage in an exchange of ideas with individuals on the internet
>Reddit is hot garbage for anything but sports discussion
>Go on /lit/, make a thought out (even if a little wonky from Dextroamphetamines) post
>No one replies
>Only my shitposts get replies and that feels hollow
>Euphoria and empathy will wear off in the morning and I'll go back to being myself

yo how come no one on lit be readin richard baxter, the quotes of him weber has in the protestant ethic are dank as fuck, all u lazy neets are going to hell

>>11212708
I have no idea. It's not like I do it every day so it should be fine. Right? I mean fuck, I sleep with my cellphone charging next to my face every night. If I haven't gotten cancer from that I can't imagine getting cancer from anything else.

>>11212807
Yes, it's called testicular torsion and it requires immediate surgery to fix. You've got a day at most before the damage becomes unfixable.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/testicular-torsion/symptoms-causes/syc-20378270

Relationships are complicated and I didn’t realize their complexity and I’m still learning and even though I’m gojng through a lot of pain right now it’s much better than the degree I was living life not too long ago. I’m loving more intensely feeling more intensely hurting like never before and in a peculiar way I am learning to embrace it just embrace it all

How do I tell my guitar teacher that I want to quit taking lessons? I'm an awkward beta and he wouldn't even care probably, but I'm afraid of any kind of conflict. If I don't quit now I'll have to take lessons for a whole nother year.
So I really need to come up with a good reason to quit taking a guitar lesson once a year. Help me.

>>11214669
>once a year
*once a week, excuse me

>>11214669
Don't be retarded, anon. I know how it feels to be anxious about this sort of thing, but I'm telling you, it's literally fucking nothing. You don't need a reason. Simply tell him you don't want to continue.

>>11214781
>>11214939