/lit/ - Literature

>>11128141
Mutter, ich bin dumm

Last words of Nietzsche really makes you think.

>>11128141
Wondering if I'll ever figure out the dichotomy of myself. Half pressed to not give a fuck, rule with an iron fist, self invested, in charge. or be a teacher overflowing with wisdom. all my music is classical and trap. I find it imperative to find out soon before i begin my life out of HS. Testosterone requires cortisol to be generated, peace with oneself is a lack of cortisol. Every month it's a flip to one side when I get disgusted at how polarized I'm being to the other side. The grass is always greener on the other side. I'm just starting to think the grass was never green.

>>11128194
Yes. Also senior in high school. One side of me wants to have an idyllic life of quiet study and seeking happiness as I see it,another wants to rule with an iron fist and say "fuck you" to everyone and be corporate sell out and make a lot of money and fly first class and read in Paris cafes. It is a flip back and forth every few days and I cannot control it or figure out how to channel it into something productive. It all remains a dream and i cannot actually realize it. Maybe it's because deep down I'm apathetic and doomed to be NEET, maybe it's just laziness, maybe it's boredom and depression. I don't know. A bunch of stupid fucking retard normies are going off to waste daddy's money in college taking courses they don't understand. These are the same kids who thought it was hard to separate WWI and WWII during American History last year and needed my help in Macroeconomics because "high school economics class is hard." I don't know if I am angry at them or myself, but really I just ducking wish I could channel who I am and what I am into doing something, composing a great score or writing a great novel, or working for a big international law firm. I feel your nuts anon.

I'm majoring in International Relations and this fall I'll be a senior. Since I have a 3.8+ GPA I'm thinking of taking the LSAT and applying to law school but almost every single time I hear from people (both in real life and anons here) who are in law they tell me to avoid it like the plague. They seem miserable.

I'm not idealistic like I used to be, so if I absolutely have to I'll probably just sell my soul and do corporate law to make enough money for a comfy lifestyle. But I'm hoping I can find something that's personally fulfilling too.

Any advice? Are there any specific types of law that I should look into?

I'm tired and I want to read. Probably gonna fall asleep in the chair again.

I prefer the pic on this thread. Hope the other gets deleted.

>>11128496
I know you're not on this thread anymore, anon, but take their advice with a grain of salt.
Are they actual students of the law or are they just [[[I need to go to law school because daddy says I'll make more money if I do]]]?
They're not you, so fuck em. But yes, law is a competitive environment. Fucking bullshit, it's really fucking gay how compétitive it is at my school. But if it is what you desire to do, you should do it and do it now when you are young.

Your parents are not you and neither are your friends. If you need to sell your soul and your dreams to big law for kwik kash, then do it. You'll have an established legal resume from there and can find personal fulfillment elsewhere/later.

What are the similarities between Aristotle's Nous and Hegel's Geist?

>>11128194
>>11128273
>the absolute state of /lit/
Try reading some books you fucking kids

I want to impregnate my girlfriend to trap her in a relationship with me. I know she is against abortion. She is 22 and isn't sure she wants kids.

Getting really sick of the Rationalists. Sam Harris and the other arch-tippers. They're such a hilarious contradiction, being the last defenders of an ethic they claim to despise. In one hand they have a burning hate for the religious, specifically Christian. Though Dawkins and Harris have the intellectual honesty to attack the Muslims despite the Muslims' eagerness to attack back with bullets, most would rather be politically correct than logically consistent.

But in the other hand the hold all of the a priori assumptions that the Christians gave them, and just assume 'muh sianze' is enough to justify them after the fact. They're basically larping as purely rational, skeptical minds, when the very act of value judging is irrational. They make a leap of faith in assuming that violence is bad, life is better than death, pleasure is better than pain, it's better to tell the truth than a lie, etc. They seem to automatically assume that the Western/Christian ethic is both the default of humanity, and a conclusion of perfect logic. And when questioned on the fact they just squirm and tap dance, completely dumbfounded that the objective superiority of "well-being" and a "good life" also must be rationally deduced. It's like they fell asleep in 1870 and just woke up now.

Despite being extreme atheists, the only actual critique they have of Christians is a literalistic belief in bible stories, which only fundie retards actually browbeat into people. They're a brainlet intellectual movement responding to a brainlet religious movement.

>>11128953
>pretends atheists are LARP's not Christians
Now this is a good LARP my friend

>tfw no purpose

Ordered a Bible today, as well as Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and Beowulf. Really excited to get them.

>>11128978
which bible?

>>11128981
King James

>>11128983

>>11128986
/lit/ told me it was the most accurate

>>11128987
No /lit/ probably told you it has the best prose but from what I gather it's not the most accurate. I'm not an Anglo btw.

I suck at writing stories. I cant into prose. God, my sentences are so short and grammarly is keeping me down, is grammarly even a good thing?

>>11128991
Oh well, I bought it used anyway. Only paid $8 and it looked brand new

The main thing stopping me from diving headfirst into Buddhism is that I have yet to find a role model who can eradicate the lingering doubt I have that a lot of it is bullshit. You can find these stories everywhere of people who claim to have reached several jhanas deep and gone through a dark night of the soul, but they talk about it so casually that I can't really believe it's true. Sure, it's disincentivized to go around telling everyone about your awesome attainment, but it's weird how you see tons of people claiming profound changes in their mind, yet so few give that sense of "Holy shit, my perception of this world has fundamentally altered". Perhaps this will go away with more research or involvement, but it still doesn't sit well with me.

>>11128960
At least the Christians' ethic is somewhat internally consistent. If God sets the moral laws of the universe they're about as mutable as the laws of physics. In such a case making value judgements and creating an ethic is just an applied science.

But if 'good', 'bad', and 'evil' are either byproducts or creations of man, then how can they be purely objective concepts? Why does one man's opinion trump another's? Then you might fall into the utilitarian trap of "greatest good for the greatest number", but even this doesn't get you anywhere close to an objective answer. Philosophers and writers have spent the last century grappling with the problem, while the new atheists dance right over it.

Which has basically done them in. After all people actually DO need solutions to these answers, which has why the skeptic community has split off in a dozen directions, most moving onto some flavor of fringe politics (both left and right), or delving deeper into philosophy. The new atheists complete philosophical impotence is one of the reasons that Daddy Peterson can fill up theaters of atheists paying good money to see him.

>>11129026
>yet so few give that sense of "Holy shit, my perception of this world has fundamentally altered".

If you're hoping to feel this way already and you haven't even begun practicing, you're probably not going to get it at all. It sounds like you're forcing/convincing yourself into taking some sort of Kierkegaardian leap of faith with unrealistic expectations anon. Maybe there's a better way to pursue personal attainment that allows you to be realistic and honest with yourself? Just my 2 cents.

>>11128596
Thanks anon. Mine better not get deleted I started it 16 minutes before the other one reeeee

t. OP

>>11128968
me neither anon

How do Anglos pronounce Kant?

>>11128596
Don't insult my thread you fucking faggot. This picture fucking sucks.

>>11129462
I like this one more, and you're not helping by bumping this one instead brainlet

>>11129462
holy fuckin kek watta retard. this thread GO

>>11129392
I appreciate the perspective. A lot of people adopt a belief system not for any truth it contains but for the comfort it brings, and I may be one of them. Still, I've attempted to explore this one at least six times now, and something keeps drawing me back whenever I quit. You see, a few years ago I came down with a case of MDD so severe that it shattered my entire world view, and of all the various perspectives I came across, only Buddhism and Stoicism managed to stay consistent and effective in the face of the disease. It is honestly stunning how accurate the Buddhist teachings are when you apply them to real life. The only reason I stop pursuing them is a lack of passion and desire which comes from the illness - if I were healthy, it would be different. No, my interest continues despite the apathy, because there's a chance this is how things truly are: The ultimate truth, the thread that binds us. I'll still pursue a traditional path of attainment alongside it, but if these studies do light some kind of flame, I may just follow where it takes me. If not, it's no big deal. Hopefully that makes sense.
>>11129418
/kɑnt/ in U.S. English

>>11128160
lel

his madness letters are pure gold

How is this /lit/?

never been to a female attention no pub etc

all my friends have a MOMMY GF and i'm still a VIRGIN

I remember, i was a kid, probably 10 or 11 years old, a teacher called me to discuss my essay:

"anon... i see your writing, you got skills... yeah yeah you got talent kid, yeah, you gon be an intellectual, son. look, let me tell you, academia needs talent, and ya got plent of it no worries"

last time i touched a human was some darkie trynna steal my phone (2 years ago) and i haven't left home since

books for this feel??

I don't have a purpose, I found one when I tried joining the military. I was enamored with the potential of finding a place I belong, and since I'm servile, quiet, and stoic, I thought the military was perfect for me. I was a month from shipping before my dad made some noise about me being autistic and some other stuff,
Now I'm looking for another purpose, then I remembered I loved video games stories. Halo 2, Half-Life 2, Nier: Automata, Drakengard 1, Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Saya no Uta (a visual novel but I'll count it), and Last of Us are among my favorites in terms of plot and universe. I'm getting ready to sign up for a trade school to earn a degree in video game design and try my hand, but I'll also try to get a degree in something more practical to fall back on

The fact that im 22 and havent kissed a girl yet. A few months on 4chan has got fapping to traps now

I wish black people weren't so stupid because there's nothing I want more in this world than a cute black girlfriend who could talk about Joyce with me when we cuddle. Extra points if she has an adorable southern drawl (not speaking in ebonics though, there's a difference).

>>11129901
I'm 24 and all I got was a pity peck in HS, just go at your own pace, but don't broadcast that

>>11129920
Lol there are lots of niggers like this but they can easily spot racists so they might not go for you

>>11129921
But you should broadcast it. Unless you're a lame-o loser that people don't notice in public scenarios.
I want everyone to know my celibacy. To ask, instead of me, why I'm not getting laid.

There's a rapist and a Nazi living in out tiny hearts.
Everyone I love is going to die.

i am considering quitting my job and living off my savings to write and work on my own projects on a full time basis... there are things i really want to do and make, and life seems to pass so quickly without anything happening - you can easily just watch your 20s disappear without really thinking much about it, and putting all your effort and thought and vigour into things that never grow, and never give anything back to you for going the extra mile

also trying to figure out how i can recover from the debilitating childhood trauma i suffered but it is challenging to stem the feelings that it is hopeless and that i am probably fucked for life- but it at least, i think, has given me a rich inner life and great powers of creativity and expression

I want to write more but I'm lazy, I procrastinate, and I doubt myself since I haven't had anyone criticize what I've written. I tried writing a fantasy novel some years ago when I focused quantity over quality and it was a steaming pile of crap

I can't talk to her I can't talk to her I can't talk to her. I've done all I can, it's up to her to choose to be a part of my life now. Bothering her won't help.

>tfw no one replies to your on-topic thread while a "what did he mean by this?" thread hits the bump limit.

Life is beautiful and I'm really happy right now.

Now Goethe hell or I'll teach you a Lessing you fucking Kant.

This time they deleted an interesting thread on legal writing.

I'm plotting against myself
Today is the lowest i've felt in years, i wanted to walk onto oncoming traffic when i saw a road, i bought a pack of cigarettes thinking it would make me feel catharsis but now i feel even worse. And yet I keep smiling and laughing with all of my "friends" who just talk about stupid meaningless bullshit and probably forget of my existence the second i leave. I'm imprisoning myself and it hurts so much. Suicide has become a joke so anytime i actually do let out a little of what i'm feeling people shrug it off as a little quib
I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. Because that fucker in the glass keeps smiling as everythin in him and around him comes crashing down. He knows he's in over his ead and that he will never find love, he knows he needs help from actual doctors and not a couple faceless lines of texts, yet he just shines those white fucking teeth as if everything is going exactly as planned. He laughs and giggles at my misery, my torment. It doesn't affect him in the slightest. I wish the man in the mirror would fucking die already, just reach into the glass and strangle the little cunt so that he would wipe the grin off his face, so that i'd never have to see those happy go lucky eyes while i'm struggling with his burdens. He even falls for the depression joke and post fucking meme images of it as if they were something minor and he could just walk away from his problem anytime. I'm suffering and he's just having a ball at my expense.

Fascism is a beautiful ideology, and specifically the racial, "Nazi", version is impressive. I think most people have a mix of awe and fear at the society they tried to build, which is why WW2 is very interesting. The price is increased societal expectations, less personal autonomy, Darwinian eagerness to rid society of those who do not benefit the state and harm society, but the benefits are increased feeling of community, trust, less class anxiety, and an overwhelming sense of purpose in life from birth to serve your society/family/people.
Sometimes, I really believe in globalism. I get the sense that there can be universal solidarity, that humans will emerge from their tribes and function as rough monoculture. The problem is, that the current unity is created only by common markets and is hideous compared to many of the old cultures fading away. Racial differences exist too, but the most important downside is not a loss of 15 IQ points or increased presence of warrior genes, it is the dissolved trust, which I'm skeptical whether or not that can be unlearned. I don't think global consumerism and worship of the individual/consumer can solve this. If it continues to fail, I'll happily join the fourth Reich and take part in the world's final war even if it turns out to be quixotic.

>>11131906
It doesn't work. Nationalism leads to a nation wide narcissism and makes it so that you can't have any allied nations and thus loose to people who actually do have friends
I'm not going to argue if it's wrong or right but i'm just saying it's impossible because of the fact that it has to be militaristic yet self-centered

I think I'm beginning to hate one of my friends. I'm beginning to realise how much of a rude, utter cunt she is and how she does not give a good fuck about me.

I want to fuck that guy but he doesn't answer my messages. I'm bummed because he was the one who implied he wanted to fuck

>>11132208
>women

There is a huge annual used book sale this weekend and I'm wondering what I will find this year.

>>11129994
>Quoting ajj on /lit/

Leave

>>11132266
desu that's an earlier song, before they went complete edgy

A woman who barely talks to me anymore should not have this much control over my emotions FUCK.
I miss you C.

>>11132266
Yet you recognized the verse

so much to do, so little time

I don't know what to think.

This girl hasn't replied to my text since last night, Im thinking she wasn't actually busy tonight but doesn't actually want to meet up with me at all. a bit bummed.

>>11129920
There are a lot of intelligent black chicks around, dude. Problem is, they will be smart enough to see you're racist, and will likely go for a black guy over you.

>>11129462
>tfw his thread got deleted

I think I'm addicted to crossdressing.

I'd really rather not be bald at 22
I'd really really like to not be bald at 22
HOLY SHIT WHY AM I BALD AT 22
AHHHHHHHHHBHHHHHHHH
NONONONO IT'S THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND AND I CAN'T TAKE IT
AGHGGHGGHASHG

>>11132867
just throw on a hat bro

>>11132862
Why are you posting this shit in every thread?

people say that a theory about X has to explain why X seems to have some kind of property. But that's not true. "Seeming" is an affective/cognitive state of the mind, and so rather than people theorizing about X being obligated to explain the seeming, it should be psychologists and neuroscientists who explain the seeming.

>>11132910
But what about X theorists explaining why X has a certain property, rather than why it seems to have a certain property?

>>11132867
Sorry about that anon. Literally no one cares, you can still find a qt. Your insecurity will probably be a lot worse than being bald could ever be.

>>11132900
I'm not entirely sure.

>>11132924
Make a judgment based on your current level of surety.

>>11132236
How did he imply he wanted to fuck?

>>11132952
boredom, it's moderately entertaining to me.

>>11128273
>college taking courses they don't understand
college is about meeting new people and explore new ideas. The by part of college is that you go out with a degree you can use.

>>11133012
>college is about meeting new people and explore new ideas.
Don't forget, it's also about accruing unnecessary and crippling financial debt

>>11132915
That's fine. What I'm going up against is the usage of "it seems to be that..." as an informative predicate.

>>11133028
So you're saying if something that falls within a theory seems a certain way, but is not actually this way, the burden of explaining the actuality is on the theorists, the burden of explaining the seeming is on neurologists? What about, for instance, speciousness? Isn't it admissible that a logician explains why an argument seems valid, but is in fact fallacious?

>>11133012
>meeting new people and explore new ideas
You can meet new people anywhere and personal study is much better for real exploration of new ideas. The debt and pointless assignments of uni are completely unnecessary for these goals.

I have nothing that drives me.

>>11133049
>So you're saying if something that falls within a theory seems a certain way, but is not actually this way, the burden of explaining the actuality is on the theorists, the burden of explaining the seeming is on neurologists?
Almost. I'm saying that the seeming of a predicate as true should be explained by neuroscientists (not neurologists--neurologists are typically understood to be focused on neural disorders, not typical normal behavior) or psychologists *regardless* of the status of the predicate as actually true. And when I say should, I mean as a matter of course, not as obligation per se. A logician is free to explain seemings of validity if they wish but no one can demand of them that they explain why people feel a certain way about an argument. However, many people feel that logic should at least in some way resemble or correspond to or reflect actual reasoning in language, so logicians under that understanding of the field of logic *should* have at least some knowledge of (neuro)psychology.

i really.
really really really
don't know what i am doing at all.
I am trying to be positive. It is very hard.
I love the thought of people. But people themselves can be very harsh.
I am lost now. Lost where I am. Lost lost lost. Very lost. What is the point?
We are going towards defeat. Nothing we do matters because those in control control us.
Their extent of control is ever expanding and our connectedness is ever fading. I thought the internet would bring us together? However all it does is drive us apart. We need each other. They need us as much as we need them. However we cannot get over the fact of physical differences. Why must we fight?
We are supposed to be Gods chosen animals. The ones to lead us back to unity. The ones most like him, we CREATE! we CREATE just as he did. But we cannot create peace!
its a feeling in my soul of unfufilledness. I feel like I want to fall in love.. I am in love... But i cannot be true to myself.
Truth will win.
Love
Compassion
baldh blah nalh bal h blah blah i am just a cringe machine no one likes me i am worth nothing please why do i ahve to live like this i want to be apart of something someone accept me hahaha i cannot be anything but who I am and that is the worst let me be LET ME BE

>>11133050
College should be a place to further your general education while exploring a certain area in depth. Non-liberal arts educations were a mistake.

>>11132957
We made out, he said I should come over his house sometime with a kinky laugh. Now he always says he is busy, keeps stolling me.

I find texting gets akward, since I don't even like texting and seems to me he finds it kinda akward to talk to me virtually. Face to face is so much easier but it is hard to arrange for us to meet.

Any advice?

>>11133012
Also good for developing mental illness

i am in a weird state rigt noe. wyh am i like the way I am?
would it be better to fit in?
my mind wanders so far from where it should be
I feel like no one likes me
I feel like no one understands my emotions and why I have them.
All i want is someone who I can hold onto at night. warmth.
I love you
I want something
I don't know what I ma doing here
Or anywhere
people are mean
I want to be nice
please God help me/
I love you.

>>11133109
How do you distinguish "actual reasoning in language" from actual reasoning, i.e. logic? Do you mean the "logic" of grammar and semantics?

>>11133130
We also have had a fling a year ago, that ended up with he ghosting me. I am afraid of talking to him because I think that will happen again. I am dumb I know but he is so hot, and I still have hope we can be friends. He came after me again after all this time and I went along, now he is already ignoring me again I should have more self respect :v

>>11133130
If someone doesn't want to put the effort in to even communicate on a small basis why do you think there would be value in fucking them?

>>11133130
maybe you should hang yourself

>>11133172
Good thinking, maybe I'm just too lonely

>>11133189
What a bad thing to say to a person

>>11128141
All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her. All shall praise her, None shall defy her.

>>11128953
>But in the other hand the hold all of the a priori assumptions that the Christians gave them
durr dialectal movements of history means a priori reasoning xD

>>11133189
Seconding this

I write shipping fanfiction and cheesy teen-esque romance in science fiction/superhero settings.

>>11133217
Get your normie ass back to Wattpad

>>11128804
Both are written in language.
Both have been printed on paper.
etc.

>>11131861
Good post, dude

ITS LIKE I NEVER LEARN.
I FEEL LIKE I AM DOING SOMETHING WRONG
AND NO ONE WILL HELP
I FUCKING FEEL
BUT I CANNOT TELL YOU WAHT THIS FEELING IS ALL I KNOW IS I HAVE IT AND IT RUNS THROUGH ME ALL DAY AND MY ATTENTION IS TAKEN AWAY THROUGH THE FEELING I WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND BE NICE AND WHEN I DO I CAN FEEL THEM AND WHAT THEY ARE AND THEY DO NOT LIKE ME.
I FEE LLIKE A BURDEN A HAVEY BURDNE TO EVERYONE AND I DON'T KNOW WHY?
I JUST WANT TO FEE L LOVE.
AM I DETACHED ?
DO I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE ?
WHY THE FUCK AM I SO FUCKING STUPID?
I NEVER EVER KNOW WHAT I AM DOIN
I DON'T THINK BEFORE I SPEAK OR ACT I AM JUST SPEAKING
IT FEEL SSO FUCKING IDIOIC NO ONE LIKES ME?
DO PEOPLE LIKE ME?
IS THAT ALL THAT MATTERS?
SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THEIR OPIINOONS?
WHYTHE FUCK DO I CARE ABOUT YOU?
MY EX GIRLFRIEND IS EVIL.
SHE IS EVIL
SHE IS EVIL
SHE IS EVIL
WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE LIKE THS?
I LVOED HER. i THINKG
I DON'T KNOW
I CAN'T TELL
MAYBE IM JUST A FUCKING IDIOT
I FEEL LIKE SHE WAS JUST ACTING LIKE MY GIRLFRIEND AS A JOKE
LIKE "HAHAH LOOK THIIS FUCK ACTUALLY THINKS I LIKE HIM"
AND SHE FUCKED SO MANY GUYS WHILE WE WERE DATING
AND I FEEL LIKE I WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH IW ANT TO FEEL SOMETHING

Woooooo!

I'm so immature. Tips on how to become a man?

>>11133254
That's it buddy. Get that shit out. Now go buy a punching bag and put on Rocky music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-8hOKNbtxg
Your time has come.

>>11128141
my drinking is ruining me. i used to write well, but the alcohol made me more stern. but that got out of hand, and now i am a lazy bum.

i have a problem with improper parents, devotion to labor, and just overall responsibility in myself and others. and why the appeal to degenerate acts? why do people live in filth? to flaunt it, so they may claim privilege as a crutch to shut others complaints?

>>11133286
Have you ever thought about writing ads for the soap sales business? We sure could use someone like you down here, and we'd be willing to throw in as many sanitising napkins as you need, so to speak....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs

Wooooooo!

>>11133298
what part of my post made you think this? im lost

>>11128995
>I suck at writing stories. I cant into prose. God, my sentences are so short and grammarly is keeping me down, is grammarly even a good thing?
I have the opposite problem. I'm all about rhythm and flow, but Im bad at world building/storytelling

>>11132842
This thread should've been autosaged instead of the other one. The other one was made earlier than this one.

>>11129901
I was a virgin till 22. maybe it's your lucky year? don't fret about it. traps are gay. soon enough you'll be watching twink boipucci

>>11129901
>he hasn't already been fapping to traps for a decade
What are you, some type of commoner?

my autism has made me obsessed with locks, and more specifically re-keying locks. i think it would be so cool to rekey all the locks in the house, but then have them all master-keyd.

I'm not sure if it's OCD or what, but I always seem to shift between obsessions. For a while I was obsessed with jump-rope and I got to the point where i looked like a pro-boxer with the ropes. now i barely skip at all.

I want to try using indian clubs one day. but it sucks not being in the US. finding proper retailers is difficult.

>>11133463
Indian clubs are the best! The people are so friendly and the music is very hipnotic

I hate women.

I want to move to a different state but now I've gone on a few dates with a girl who lives in a city where all my friends live. The only problem is I hate the city where they live. If I live there and get a job and have a life there I think I will feel like I'm missing out on moving where I want. But if I move where I want I think I will feel like I'm missing out on being with my friends and potentially this girl.

>>11133385
>I was a virgin till 22.
How did you get out of virgindom?
t. 21yo that may use some advice

>>11133616
Every choice is a renunciation

>>11133618
Not him but it's extremely easy to fuck if you lower your standards.

>>11133636
Honestly it's extremely easy to fuck. I'm an out of shape manlet european diaspora amerimutt with an oily black-head riddled face and I've had moderately attractive blondes who were genuinely enjoyable to talk to literally throw themselves at me. If you put even the slightest effort into pretending to have an interest in a woman (not even having one) you have a decent chance unless you are Quasimodo level in the sens of looks as well as interpersonal autism

>>11133668
>>11133636
I might just be retarded then. Anyways, do tell more, any bit of advice is appreciated.

>>11133618
basically i did this >>11133636

except i dated her for 3 years and hated my life because i was dating a fat chick instead of fucking and chucking

Any tips for writing in first person?

>>11133821
b urself

>>11133857
seriously, please though, all I get is either to take out filter words, just write what you see, and remember that first person IS voice. Any tips better than this would be good

It's late but I might just read something because I got stood up by a so called "friend" again.

>>11133963
if you do not have a rich inner life or naturally commanding wit and observational skills you are not capable of it

>>11132745
Fucking incel lol

I am deeply upset that I will never be able to read "The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What Is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion" by Henry Darger and I can't really explain why

It just sounds so interesting but the chances of it ever being published are basically zero

>>11132842

>>11133254
>>11133143
I often think of past words and actions.
Look back in contempt.
No regret, how it was is how it is.
I love myself.
I can feel.
If I could go back I would make sure to always remain myself. Always do what my instincts tell me. I trust myself.
I understand why people don't like me. It is very simple. I have done fucked up things to people. I am living the karma now so I do not live it later. I must accept my punishment and try to enjoy the rest of life as I move forward. Of course people are fucking with me, its hip, its cool, its a group! "aye man,,,, come join us in fucking with this guy to make him crazy!" and I play the part so well. Absolutely I play very well with others saying the right things for their jokes!
Oh the jokes, the joy, the laughter!
I wish I could say sorry. Of course I feel bad. I was crazy at a time, I was immature at a time, but now I have grown and my brain realizes its wrongs however I do not want to live in the past and dwell there. I am moving forward as is everyone. Time does not stop, and I cannot stop. Blessings upon you all, enjoy the day!
You are all Gods children.
Live through him!
Follow what you want do!
LOVE THE MOST POWERFUL DRUG AT ALL.
I LOVE
I LOVE
I LOVE
"and GOD made it GOOD"
Good does not leave, good is eternal. Good is everlasting, good riddance!

I just shaved my balls and the rest lads
This chick wants to eat my ass so I did it
It feels really strange now, kind of tingling

looking back over everything I've written up to this point. I can't find any of it worthwhile. you can scroll through each one in a second or less. it's really pathetic. such a herculean ordeal to pass so much as 1000 words, let alone the amount you'd actually need for them to call you someone. You need to intoxicate someone for minutes, for hours on end. It all takes so much and adds up to so little. And what have I even accomplished? So far it looks like none of it is good.

I noticed that recently and realized that because writing is such a prestige medium, it's basically dead. Never loved it anyway. Not in the right way. At least I was entertained by some movies, sometimes. That's the natural way we talk to each other, in movies. Why do anything more than that?

It's like I felt like I tried for such a long time and it never even came to anything. Such a huge waste of time. When I reflect on my own perspective, where I am, what I am, who I am, my history and future... I'm sure I won't be able to keep myself from writing, forever if I have to. Even if I never make anything that people enjoy. But, God, I wish I could make something they'd enjoy! It all has those sickly fumes I feel everywhere. Maybe missing courage, touch, aesthetic taste. Anything to get off with a bang

I"m just so tired of how hard it is to get started and how lazy and undisciplined I am. It's not enough that I can't do the only thing I thought I could do; I don't even know where I stand. In the world. I don't know who God is, or if he's even real or not. I don't undrestand anything. Yet I have learned just enough to know better, just enough to turn myself away. Or to feel guilty for not turning myself away

I'm feeling like an idiot right now because I realized I have an awful habit of writing out things like my notes and diary as if they are going to be shared with somebody. It would be so much quicker if I wrote for myself rather than some imaginary person.

>>11128141

There is one question that remains in my desolate mind; does /lit/ even read?

>>11129901
im 22, lost my virginity yesterday, trust me nothing'll change once u achieved kissing or loss of virginity.

>>11134730
>22

Little late, don't you think?

i'm done with capital letters fuck them they are useless

You ever wanna have a cock just rubbed on your face?

>>11129901
Where you at?
how big is your cock?

I feel incapable. I know that there are things I can do, and I know I could do them well, but I just don't do them. I saw my father die before my eyes. He had brain cancer, and passed away three months ago. I was there, I wanted to do something, I wanted to do whatever it took; but there was nothing I could do. I just had to stay there and watch as time took him away. And now in every aspect of my life I feel completely unable to act. The only moment when I really wanted to act, I couldn't, and now even if I want to, I can't.
It's killing me. School, relationships, life itself has to go on as if nothing happened, but it's impossible for me to pretend that nothing happened. I have always lived in the high expectations of others, and have always managed to live up to them. I know it's wrong but there's nothing I can do about it, and now I don't manage to be that way anymore and it's killing me. There are so many things in my life that I desperately want to change, but I don't manage to. And it's things that aren't even impossible, but I just feel so incapable. I feel so stupid. I break down and cry on a daily basis, but keep waking up the morning after and putting on this mask that I don't even manage to keep on anymore. There was nothing to do when I really wanted to do something, and now I feel like I can't do anything in any other aspect of my life either. I know I could, I know I should, but I'm just so terribly incapable and I don't know how to go on.

Im writing a suicide note, or at least I will be soon. Im having trouble figuring out just about everything.
I had an idea of not writing one at all and instead writing a short diary/journal kind of thing. That way I wouldnt have to have a specific person of address (which is the biggest pain in the arse to decide) and could kind of come across as more sincere, aswell as I think Id be better able to go into all my reasonings without coming across as melodramatic (something hard to avoid when your talking about killing yourself). I figured Id write it as I kind of prepare for doing it.

I guess that sounds pretty pseudy and on the nose but I honestly dont think I could write a normal one. Its fucking difficult and Im not a good writer as it is but I dont want to leave in silence you know and potentially get people into shit. Even if I dont actually kms I still want to write one regardless.

>>11129901
I'm 22 and I just had my first kiss since high school
you're not missing out on anything

>>11133138
underrated

Is being a journalist for a college newspaper a good way to shill myself?

>>11133026
>imagine taking loans to go to college for a valueless degree
If not for the dole, Darwinism might remove these troglodytes from the gene pool.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4obWMN3zuKQ

going to be 24 in june, time really is rushing by me now. Going to graduate college in a year or so and join the real world. I've already watched so much of my mental health and stability erode away within the last few years and the entirety of my life, even though I have so many friends and promising prospects, seems to be getting more and more distant and unreal the older I get. I torn between it being something spiritually sick about me, or if its really just a brute fact about leaving the folly of youth. I've spent my whole life in a furious and intense inward search for myself and meaning, its brought me all of my greatest joys and gives me the ability to distinguish between what matters and what is just external. Yet the older I get the more I'm realizing how all this really means nothing to anyone but myself, if it does it seems to be only indirectly. I use to find relief in my relationships, yet now it feels like there is a permanent situation where what is most intimate and meaningful about my self or my experience of myself is always capable of outrunning any experience at all that attempts to make it intelligible to others. It can no longer be drained of its melancholy and weight by any other. I have now this permanent vivid immediacy that constitutes the whole meaning of everything in my life, that I can experience immediately and always as a kind of inward prayer. I've always felt this kind of inward presence of mind as a personal gift that has guided me through the superfluity of life, when I was younger it always seemed like a kind of fog that permeated the whole of my experience and if I wrestled with it and its woe for long enough I could find real peace or at least understanding. Now I've felt that I've emerged from this ambiguity in the past two years and this has been an intensely painful yet transformative period in my life where I felt I've learned more about my self than ever before. And yet its becoming intelligible to me has simultaneously shown me how unreal this is to everyone else, and that I've lived my whole life in a kind of personal delusion that others could probably only interpret as some kind of maladjustment or personal issue, some immature hangup that presented me as a stunted person. Yet I think I've been facing and reflection or encountering spiritually things of immense difficulty and importance that lead to a full experience of knowing oneself and therefore making life meaningful. I think I've developed myself into a sensitive, sensible, faithful, devoted, thoughtful, caring, passionate individual who is capable of carrying the colossal pain of others and myself. Yet this all has its source in my personal experience of the world which in its illusory nature has left me in a kind of metaphysical exile that has shown me spiritual agony like I've never known. I now fear dying without ever being known to others.

>>11135362
read Either/Or

>>11133129
you’re such a low iq slave its making me sneer

>>11129048
I thought it was implied that morals are basically egoism applied to groups, as a result of evolution. Your conception of an objective good is just you being autistic and not taking into account that what morals are is a statistical approximation of best actions for survival. If we were to change the environment the best actions would change and so would the morals. If we were to change our genetics slightly then the best actions would change and so would our morals. When the best actions are aligned, then it becomes a "moral" or a rule that people teach others, some are more mutable than others. Christianity is the autistic construction that approximated best action when it was created.

This is probably pretty brainlet tier since I don't read any philosophy but I just don't see how else to view this.

>>11136752
Yeah, I'm the slave, not the guy who goes to college just to get a CS degree so he can go work on datamining for some multinational.

I think I'm a naturally intellectual, well built and attractive person, but due to a variety of factors surrounding an unhealthy relationship I've been in for the past 3 years, I have let my potential slip away from me somewhat. I used to be the best student in whatever I applied myself to and easily got girls in high school, but I have allowed the festering autism of that relationship to completely ruin my life. Now I'm realizing that I am no longer the superman that I once was (or at least thought I was) and I am going to have to settle into some degree of mediocrity. I will have to settle down with a girl that doesn't excite me and work a mid paying job with the government instead of going out into the world and being the revolutionary that for so long I thought I was cosmically intended to be.

I'm not bitter about this, but the realization that the universe will not fall into place for me to achieve greatness is a daunting idea. My whole life there has been nothing I wanted more than to be celebrated by the masses for my ideas. But the clock is ticking and I haven't made the impact that I had hoped to make.

tl;dr I think I'm going to become a soundcloud rapper

>>11137081
Become the most /lit/ rapper in the game. Like how Othello means cocaine now these days you can make some /lit/ slang

>>11129864
stoner, no longer human

Thinking about ending it again.

My ex-girlfriend gave me genital herpes and I'm bitter about it because of the stigma that comes with it. I haven't had an outbreak since the initial infection and it's been about 2 years now but still I feel like a lesser person. She also took back the speakers she gave me as a present for me birthday AND asked my mother for a fucking job reference after all this.

I have resolved to get revenge on her because I cannot stand the idea of "being the bigger man" and letting this go. Too many times I have fallen for that meme and been left feeling like a weak beta. I am keeping tabs on her Facebook and AS SOON as she ends up in a new relationship I plan on messaging her new boyfriend and telling him what someone should have told me. I want her to know that she her actions have consequences and that she can't just run around fucking fancy free. I want her to suffer for the way she treated me.

Many people have told me I am wrong for thinking this way, that it's a childish thing to want revenge and that I should just be satisfied with bring rid of her. While I agree that a life well lived is a GOOD form of revenge, I don't think that is enough in this case. There is no telling how many future relationships this girl has ruined for me because of her negligence, so I will take my due. I honestly can't stand the idea of just letting this go unpunished.

>>11132261
$15

>>11137536
Im with you a 110% on that one lad. Its not the typical bitter ex, she fucking infected you with something. Even if your not bitter you should tell any future bf in order to spare him the same fate. Honestly Id go as far as to say its your duty too.

If she knowingly infected you, in most countries thats illegal so there is that route. For most people they will just see a bitter ex but that shit is permanent and is seriously going to have lasting consequences on your life, she should be the same even if her awareness means its your job to ensure that and protect other guys.

Man I feel for you so much.

>>11137562
based

>>11133286
Bloodie is that u

>>11133298
Bloodie is that u

I lost my virginity at 13 to a 17 year old emo slut

No regrets, had no clue what was happening

Her sister was in the same room. Sister was 10

My teenage years were special

all the high schoolers itt explain the current state of /lit/

Caicedo afirma, en ¡Que viva la música!, su primer novela publicada, que vivir más de 25 años es una insensatez, y se suicida precisamente a esa edad, el 4 de marzo de 1977, mismo día que le entregan un ejemplar de la copia de su novela recién publicada

>>11137536
i thought i had herpes for a while but i went in and got tested and nothing came up across the board. but it was in fact genital warts, and now I feel like im going through all the normal insecurity stuff. really miss hooking up with people but kinda dont, pretty relieving to lose interest in people unless you trust them in a sense. I've been redirecting alot of energy but god damn everytime i go piss i have to look down at my disfigured shaft and all those little bumps, maybe im overreacting because they are pretty small, but still. and having the conversation with a girl as i take her clothes off or something would just kill the mood. i miss my dick

>>11128194
>all my music is classical and trap.
>before i begin my life out of HS.

>>11137562
good taste

I fucking hate my father and I'm pretty sure it's why I'm fairly effeminate, struggle with male-on-male relations, and have majority female friends.

ALL LIFE IS, IS A ATTEMPT AT HIDING THE FACT THAT WE HAVE NO MEANING AND IN OUR ATTEMPT TO CREATE ONE WE UNDERSTAND EVERY ASPECT OF OUR EXISTENCE IS AS THE SAME AS A LAW OF THE UNIVERSE, IT JUST EXISTS ALL WE DO IS EXIST AS MATTER IS ATTRACTED TO OTHER MATTER BIOLOGY FORMS AND KEEPS CONTINUING A CYCLE, JUST SO TOMORROW THE CYCLE CAN BE STARTED ALL OVER AGAIN.
Also I found a pretty good band :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0x77EdoXhw

You're a bunch of sick fucks.
I would never suggest removing a little girl's clothes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples. Only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick cock slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow. The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, cock poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal pussy, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke. I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours. It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that cock is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered pussy for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she murmurs breathlessly, then her fingers dig into your back as she feels your cock hardening inside again.

I’m about to graduate and I’m only ALMOST done with my first novel as opposed to being published

Quit social media for the most part because I was tired of it being such a distraction, realized I sit here and refresh threads all the time which is basically the same thing. Bye 4chan.

>>11138383
Good riddance :(

>>11135779
Just don't. Even writing it is moving towards the unthinkable. I sure as hell can't help you but I can tell you no matter how difficult your situation, the premature taking of one's life is never the answer. I don't know what kind of person you are. I cannot appeal to you to find answers in God, in a work of literature, or even in yourself; I can simply urge you not to go down this path. Things have a way of working themselves out. Be brave anon.

some hood chick left her workstation logged in at work and there was some tumblr or some other kind of social media idk even know what it was that had a post like "yall niggaz be lickin pussy that bleed every month and had mad dicks up in it, and u tryna say u dont eat ass? come on now!" and i was like woah holy shit this is the kinda shit normies read on their social media? fucking plebs! then i remembered i wasted thousands of hours reading 4chan and i was like "oh, rite, carry on then"

>>11128141
The natural system is stupid and I'm smarter than God:

A man or woman should not be capable of caring more about a woman or man than he or she cares about him or her. All love, care, etc. should be evenly distributed between people, rather than individuals disproportionately feeling more or less about others. Under such a system beheld is a better world.

What did I ever think I'd gain from travel? I walk around lively cities empty and alone. I don't know what to do with all my freedom. I want goals, responsibilities, and structure, but what kind? At 26, I should have an idea, but I don't. A feeling creeps up that, if I had a destiny greater than just being a family man, I would've already discovered it.

im miserable

>>11138808
talk to me
i'm also feeling blue rn

>>11128141
The public is verifiably insane and its becoming increasingly embarassing to be associated with humanity.
>>11138866
Checked

i thought pic related was underwater because i didn’t read your post first, and was going to tell you after reading it that you should do what pic related is doing and drown yourself

>>11138886
haven't been to the beach in about 4 years
i hope i dream about the sea this night
i've always been afraid of sleeping, not because of fear of not waking up the next morning, but the opposite
when will be the day when i don't have to wake up anymore? when will be the day when i don't have to go to sleep anymore?

>>11138886
>>11138931
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj6xUzvlvNg

>In The House of the Seven Gables. Nathaniel Hawthorne was familiar with the Pyncheon breed, and he bred them himself around the time at which wrote the novel. The chickens in the book mirror the degeneration of the Pyncheon family, whose name they share.

what did he mean by this

Yesterday I saw a dead body, it's gonna be buried tomorrow. How long should I wait until I go back to my regular life of masturbating to degenerate shit? Doing it the same day after being so near to a corpse would make me feel like a shitty human being, but I don't really know when I'm supposed to. would a day after be okay? A week maybe? idk man

>>11138886
>its [sic] becoming increasingly embarassing [sic] to be associated with humanity
Chic misanthropes deserve to be tortured to death.

>>11138805
Being a family man is one of the greatest destinies, to continue the chain of your ancestors is an amazing feat denied by too many.

>>11139090
no it's not. are you implying that because a chain has enjoyed a period of longevity that there is anything inherently "good" about it? nonsense. OP could kill himself this instant and it would mean nothing.

I have a beautiful girlfriend and it's amazing.

How about we instead go to sleep, wake up the next day and repeat this dreadful routine that will be the death of us. You wasted potential, you could be great someday, yet you waste away in this pathetic room, listening to this drivel of noises and experience these facades of experiences. Go on, to sleep, and feel better about yourself in the morning, and allow for another day like this to waste you away. As you fulfill absolutely nothing.

>>11128953
Good post.
>They're a brainlet intellectual movement responding to a brainlet religious movement.
In other words, Americans being Americans

>>11136953
That all looks good and nice from some sort of socio-evolutionary perspective (the belief systems surviving in the long run are those that provide good chances to survival and all that). But there are two problems here.

One is, however autistic Christianity may seem considered from this rational perspective (provided that I agree with your metaphysics), people just don't understand society and psychology well enough to construct something that works better than Christianity out of the blue. It's like if you're given a mechanism that does some work, and you watched it working for some time, and you noticed that some parts of it could be better, and other parts seem entirely redundant, and so on. But to create something that does the same job better from the ground up, you ought to have some way better understanding of the mechanics than your casual observations.

Second, human psychology does not work so good with the value systems based on egoism. Humans do need some higher cause than themselves to feel good, in general. As long as you construct your moral system without addressing that, it won't work as it supposed.

>>11129418
Can't

>tfw intelligent enough to know how much there is you don't know, not intelligent enough to be a true intellectual and talk about subjects with a deep understanding

Getting bored at everyday conversation about football and television makes me feel like a pseud because even if the subject turned to, say, existentialism, I wouldn't have anything insightful to say and be like "err yeah you need to embrace the absurd and give your life meaning, I think Camus wrote about Sisyphus like that". I wouldn't mind so much being a brainlet if the people I was talking with could actually offer wisdom and teach me something where I am pseud-ignorant

>>11138300
Are you gay?

>>11138805
I can relate to this. I made the same mistake of thinking that solo travel would give some kind of importance to my life. Instead it just left me feeling bored and frustrated.

Ever since I started listening to Space Oddity covers, after ten years of masturbating furiously, I've decided to stop. The song gave me a profound sadness

We need to hang all niggers, coal burners too. Especially torture the niggers fucking white women.

>>11128960
this. atheists are the maximum level of Christian. it's sad really

>>11129048
>why does one man's opinion trump another's

because 'pull' or 'juice'. majority/power rules.

>>11138805
You have to force yourself into new situations while traveling or its not worth it. If you just go to a new city, walk around the downtown, then head back to your hotel you haven't done anything.

>>11139730
No
but my lack of success with women would suggest otherwise

I'm having a writer's block atm. I feel empty like a brick, emotionless, dull. I can't continue write stories that I had started and I don't feel like I can start to write a new one. Not a solid day it seem.

>>11128953
Possibly the worst post I've ever read

>>11140160
Thanks for reminding me of this.

There are so many layers to my mental problems I am feeling trapped in them. One of them is that I know my problems are nowhere near as bad as many other people who live with daily psychotic pain, or who have real problems unlike my fake "I don't like life!!" emo problems. But I am pretty sure I am anhedonic and lifeless, and that I have just been having one long simmering panic attack for years on end. I don't feel anything or care about anything.

I can't remember the last time anything "recharged" me. That's one of the layers too, is the continual realizations that most people live very different lives and have very different daily experiences from what I have. People are supposed to be recharged by things, they're supposed to look forward to things, they're supposed to feel lost in things and lose themselves and their worries for a minute, they're supposed to feel anything at all, they're supposed to have experiences that are qualitatively distinct from the ones that came before and after, that break up the endless grey procession of samey events. I don't think I've ever had that. It's like I'm watching a boring pointless life unfurl painfully slowly, from a distance. That's another layer though, I certainly don't want to call this dissociation because I bet you people with actual dissociation are in hell compared to what I am experiencing and would beg to trade places, and I'm being a huge whiny asshole by presuming that this is dissociation.

Normie acquaintances don't know what the hell to say, and people close to me just tell me to take pills over and over again. I feel like I'm slipping through the cracks of potential help, to a large extent because I don't know why I am not communicating fully how fucked I am. I keep trying to find new and deeper and more self-examined ways to say "Please help me, please anybody help me?" but people keep interpreting it as something fundamentally banal, and I keep walking away from people wanting to say "come back please, whatever we just talked about, it didn't change anything, I'm still fucked, how did I not end up conveying that I'm fucked?"

There are so many roads to failure and it's only a coincidence that my various forms of autism prevent me from taking most of them. I would gladly self-destructively day drink but I keep it to marginal binging. My manic episodes and panic-driven desperate socializing episodes are only occasionally humiliating and cringey, and apparently don't actually alert anyone to the fact that they have a deeper cause.

Things keep nudging slightly worse and I keep discovering new thoughts that I wouldn't have thought were possible a year or two prior, like being fundamentally okay with death and fundamentally bored of life altogether. I can see why older people are outright bored and ready to die.

Kids born as late as 2007 are shitposting here if they're still starting to browse around the same age I started.

>>11140318
wake me up

Multiculturalism is cancer and I hate seeing white women with black men so fucking much it's unfair that ugly niggers get to have sex with Aryan goddesses.

>>11140300
Good effortpoast, I can identify. That feeling of being detached from the normal rhythm of life. Normies don't know how easy they have it, they have stress and worry and stuff but that just complements the highs they feel. Pregnancy, marriage, vacations, shiny cars...their days are immensely satisfying to them and on the question of the human condition and the potential for great failure and suffering their minds are not troubled, they are naively optimistic about everything, they don't question their deserts, their promotions, the way they fall into friendship groups. Their weekends are their 'time off', they fill leisure time with sports and shopping and socialising, no lying in bed from boredom. Happy to drive a kayak out to the lake and take lessons, no self consciousness, hobbies are just things everyone has, next week they might try painting or pottery. Then it can become something on their dating profile, walks on the beach and jazz music. Being able to take life at face value is a gift.

A woman. The woman.

>>11140367
lol dumb /pol/cel

>>11140529
my friend says that the blessing and curse of normies is that everything that ever happens to them is always happening for the first time

>>11140300
Read Philebus

>>11129418

/khənt/

I want to take a dull object and cave in your skull. I want to bite the tips of your nipples off. I want to rape you until you prolapse. I want to take a dagger and cut open your stomach and watch your expression as you see your own organs tumble out of your body.

>>11140610
That's a projection foisted by someone who doesn't have new experiences

>>11140575
It hurts so much

>spend ages trying to get over girl
>really sad, we spent a lot of time together and I thought she liked me
>hasn't even talked to me in a month
>finally begin to reach some kind of acceptance
>today rolls around
>"hey anon, sorry I've been so distant! I miss you, we should do all these fun things together!"
Not again, please not again. Please no.

>>11141295
tell right now that you're in love with her

this is the perfect time to do it; you can't put yourself through this again, and if you do get talking again it will only become more and more difficult to tell her how you feel.

"Hi N. I actually have feelings for you but thought you weren't interested in me. Would you like to go on a date?"

you will regret not doing this

>>11128141
DAVID FOSTER WALLACE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ

>>11141404
a punk song shouldn't be >3 min long. even 3 min is too long. good punk songs are 2 min long

>>11141696
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN1WwnEDWAM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfK-WX2pa8c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJkNstUF3GA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROj_1R36lX0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6FZwVvS8_8

僕死ぬいたい

>>11141696
>>11141717
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcHL8efKKPE
arguably not punk, but its The Clash so eh

>>11141295
I feel for you, I know this
I really don't have any advice cause I'm just as lost. But I know your feel, good luck anon

>>11141717
>>11141727
not even close to punk what the fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stnmjDk1ihw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV5-KhZMOtY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCZ9ibC-wxs

>>11128141

Everything hurts

>>11128141
i am significantly smarter than most posters on 4chan and its becoming harder to justify posting here because of the disparity in intuitive capacity and abstract reasoning

Idk if i can deal with the guilt of letting my father down if i were to either come out or be outed by force. He has told me that he would accept me no matter who I dated, which could be a sign that he already knows, but he said ed with cold, distant, acceptance in his voice

>>11142060
Why would you feel guilty of something that's not your fault? By 'something' I mean his own reaction to situations, his own psychology. That's like saying it's the woman's fault she was raped, not the rapist's.
I won't refer to the 'father' concept because I don't think I could give good advice, but I'll share with you my experience.
There was a time when I did want to live up to my father's expectations and way of thinking. Over time, that led to me breaking any kind of desire to be related to that person. It's not that he did something terrible or anything like that, I just don't like him, everything he stands for. How could I not be able to forgive him? He isn't just another person, he is my father; this thought caused me great pain until I realized that 'just because he is your father you have to forgive him' is a bullshit argument. I don't hate him -I don't think I hate any particular being for that matter- but I'd rather stay away from him.
The only thing that's keeping me living in the same roof than him is my mother. That, and the fact that he supports my mother in ways I don't think I can understand, but I have to admit (honesty is important to me).
Warm wishes,
-

>Despite the anonymous posting of messages, other posters easily identify particular individuals based on his or her idiosyncrasies. One such poster is the 'London Pepe poster' who often retells his daily outgoings and in particular his misanthropy. The identification of the author of a post is more prevalent than it first appears to be, for example when I tried to start a positive discussion I was instantly targeted. In particular the comments quickly came to the idea that I was a 'newfag', the critical term used to ostracise the newer posters. The posts contain many other homophobic slurs but in particular the word 'fag' is used, and often appended to other words to mark a specific user, such as 'aussiefag' to label an Australian.

>A person's post will get deleted if it goes without a response, or 'bump' as only a limited number of posts are allowed. Therefore the environment of discussion in general is one of toxicity, as to ensure his or her threads survival, he or she needs to create a provocative post. These posts spark disagreement between the anonymous users such that the thread or topic of discussion remains at the top of the board. Additionally the author of the more controversial posts will be given '(you)s' which is a form of currency or token of respect. Therefore posts may be insincere or particularly sexist, homophobic or racist to agitate or 'bait' a response from others. Of course the other posters are also aware of this social dynamic and as such may respond to other posts as being bait posts and come to disregard them. Therefore there is a particular skill in creating a thread that receives many replies and thus come to inflate the ego of the anonymous poster.

>This breeds a social dynamic of the veteran poster compared with the aforementioned 'newfag'. Bear in mind not everything can be posted, in particular pornographic content and offtopic discussion will be deleted by the forum moderators or 'janitors' as they are called. These janitors are also called 'jannies' which is a reference to the transphobic slur 'trannie'. Not all posters exhibit signs of transphobia as some express their love of 'traps', a slang term for a transsexual. /lit/ in particular may receive many posts about liking these 'traps' and finding books to help identify their feeling. As posters may often use the phrase 'any books for this feel', using /lit/ as a form of therapy and their hateful comments as a form of catharsis. /lit/ is not representative of the entire website, as pornographic content is allowed on other boards such as the more prevalent /r9k/. To conclude, the board holds a space for those social pariahs who like to discuss well known literature and within it are hidden rules that one can not decipher on first glance.

>>11142281
The issue I have with breaking off with my father like that is my brother did the same. I am his last Son as far as he is concerned. thanks for the anecdote, however I do not think It would be necessary to take such drastic action...yet

>>11142330
If things get unhealthy for you, be sincere with yourself and with your father. If you feel like the situation comes to the point where the only solution is breaking off, don't hesitate and be clear about it. My experience wasn't a drastic break off with him, on the contrary, it was a very slow process which accumulated over the years. I'm not closed to the possibility of reverting it, it's just that it will take as long (likely a lot more) as it took to deteriorate.

>I am his last Son as far as he is concerned.
Why do you feel it's your duty to be 'his son'? You shouldn't define yourself primarily as 'his son'. You are a human being before anything.
Again, in my experience I came to realize that *his* own views about what a 'father' is and what duties a 'son' has were being pushed over my own views on it. Don't let his influence have power over you. You can decide to take any paternal figure you like: a political figure, a literary figure, a spiritual figure, yourself, a teacher, even every person you meet. He is not any different that whatever figure you choose. How do you think people that have never had a father replace the paternal figure? Precisely by this decision.

>>11142414
>Why do you feel it's your duty to be 'his son'?
mainly a traditional duty to family. it might be a spook but I still I think I have an obligation to my family lineage. honestly I've never let him put off his beliefs onto me. He insists I go into CS for example, but I'm skeptical about whether I'm good enough for that or not. I'm more interested in game design which is only one third CS, and I even have problems with that. It's just that most parents want to be grandparents and he wants that. I know he does.

>>11142614
>game design
Anon, I...

>>11142638
explain

>>11142614
question: are you like a patrician gay guy like with supreme taste in italian designers etc? or a pleb gay guy who's into anime and pokeman? if i had a gay sone i wouldnt be mad if he works out like a greek and rocks the finest italian garments, but if he has no abs and watches cartoons i will disown his ass gay or not

>>11142641

>>11142650
I'm too fucking poor to afford designer shit.
as for interests: History, Languages, Lit (obviously),Music, and whatever I will spontaneously become interested in

>>11142641
It's the STEM equivalent of wanting to be a writer. You'll struggle to get a job, and if you do manage to find one you'll be overworked and underpaid.

>>11142614
why would he insist u go into cs to preserve your "lineage"? cs is the shittiest major, its either autistic nerds or robotic indians. i can see if he wanted u to go into law or medicine or something, but cs? wtf?

>>11142696
>he can't afford to shop at saks

your dad is trying to shame you about upholding your "family lineage" but he can't even provide you with a decent standard of living? you should tell HIM to study cs, he sounds like a deadbeat

>>11142702
the lineage thing is separate and it's really me who insists on holding on to it. about CS, he did it (actually computer maintenance) so he thinks I would be good at it, I think he implied I should go into Cyber security.

>>11142721
wtf is computer maintenance? i went to a tech school, never heard of such a thing, also cyber security is mostly boring help-desk tier shit unless you are truly autistic

>>11142716
Ik, he works as a dishwasher right now. I am about to get a house on my volition. He really is a good guy, just weak and insecure and not confident. His problems became my problems, so it's probably a good thing I am not gonna breed

GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA?GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA?GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA//gabbaGABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA?GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA?GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA//gabbaGABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA?GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA?GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA#GABBA//GABBA//GABBA//gabba
Hey

>>11142738
hi mr land

>>11128141
I miss her so much

>>11142735
lmao i used to wash dishes when i was a teen to get weed money, well no matter how shitty my life may or may not be, at least i'm not that guy!

no but seriously, if you want to work in games no one cares about your degree, learn unreal/unity/whatever and publish some shit on steam or the itunes as a portfolio piece and then look for work based on that, the only part of the games industry that really "computer sciency" is people doing graphics work like writing custom shaders in opengl or vulkan or whatever, and maybe some ai stuff, getting a degree in something obscure an open doors if you already know how to code in the sense that hiring managers will see archaeology or linguistics or something and be like "after the last 50 uninspired pajeets its a breath of fresh air to see a freak with a latin degree, lets call him in, fuck it"

oh, rather than doing "game design" which sounds like of "diploma millish" and not very transferable to other fields, do "human computer interaction" which is highly relevant to games, but also all computing devices phones, cars, sex robots, whatever, if i could do school again i'd totes do hci in a heartbeat

>>11142754
she doesn’t miss you and has had sex with other men and actively resents you bringing up old feelings.

>>11142784
truth. the only time a chick misses u is if her latest bf develops a drinking problem and refuses to get a job, then she'll be all "oh i wonder what happened to anon, he was always reading books and working hard, he really had his head on right!" sorry thot i dont do the whole "my wifes son" thing, begone

is it gay to jack off after you take a shit?

i think ima watch that ufc tonight, havent watched in a while but there are some ok chick fights tonight and the semester just ended so why not kick back

>>11128496
Try International business import/export or logistics. Learn a second language like Spanish, French, or German.

Is everybody and -thing a parody of themselves? Think John Le Carre. Think Arsene Wenger. Think newspapers.

>>11128141
The mods deleted a thread about incels and jews even though we were using high levels of discourse, sources and stating arguments cogently. I think 4chan is censoring anything that would kill alt-right traffic or would steer traffic for incel question. Serious ethical implications if these threads are being systematically deleted.

>>11143943
it's cuz it was a peterson advertisement, if you wanna talk about incels post an incel book or something and discuss it

but while we on the topic of incels i think its hilarious how the nytimes has made the incels into a new hate group, i remember i used to browse an incel forum a long time ago (even tho i wasnt a virgin and occasionally got laid) and it was mostly just sad sack dudes and young guys with no clue about women, but there were even women on the board, one was a chubby chick who treated her virginity like the most precious treasure in the world only suitable for prince charming, another had some weird medical issue where nothing fit in her pussy i guess, and then there was like a semi-normie chick who ended up fucking the most "alpha" of the incel guys, which no doubt made them all more bitter haha, i never posted cuz i wasnt really incel but when i was bummed about gettin no ass in college i would browse, it was not a "hate group" sorry nytimes

"Every two or three weeks I spend about thirty-six hours in bed, in real torment. Perhaps I am gradually improving, but this winter is the worst there has been, I keep thinking. It is such a strain getting through the day that, by evening, there is no pleasure left in life and I really am surprised how difficult living is."Nietzsche

>>11143943
wait till they discover the incel-t3rrorism correlation by looking at the sexual histories of most suicide bombers and mass shooters
>>11144080
a real human bean

>>11128576
Sounds max comfy!
>>11144080
and the opposite. I've been in that sort of pain. It's crushing.

Here's what I just spit out.
You cannot touch the idol. Everyone knows, because once you touch it, you'll only want to taste it. Just a lick, maybe a nibble. That's why they say, avert your gaze! No wonder then, the heat from my body, the wet warmth of your breath, might be just entirely too dangerous for souls filled with kindling.

>>11142844
No. You should look into blemkins

>>11128141
welll...
no, never mind, it's nothing

>>11144107
>You cannot touch the idol. Everyone knows, because once you touch it, you'll only want to taste it. Just a lick, maybe a nibble. That's why they say, avert your gaze! No wonder then, the heat from my body, the wet warmth of your breath, might be just entirely too dangerous for souls filled with kindling.

are you talkin about dicks? kinda sounds like u mean dicks

>>11144140
Nah, man. Imtalkingabout sweet crack cocaine!!!!

>>11144169
oh. ok.

My skin is peeling sun-burnt plastic jagged bleeding sandpaper. Grey-matter writhing insects-- cockroach fucking feast on cerebellum rot. World salad word parse prose through the lens magnify plasma ant-pile meat carcass. I can't fucking think anymore. It's a Black Daydream.

>>11144190
You sound really hard on yourself

>>11144195
Everything exists in a fucking daze, mate. Coherence is water passing over cold, uneven stones. What the fuck am I even doing anymore? It's vomit chunk disease-bile hot and frothing served fresh and sickly. Fucking help me.

>>11144200
Get it all out friend, all that gross shit. Keep letting it out, or it will turn your insides to slime.
I have the same sickness.

>>11144212
Tar black, anon. Tar black and pale viscous pouring out in skin fissures.I'm a fucking HORROR BUSINESS. I want to rip out my own innards and taste a sweetness untold, It'd feel so goddamn good because it would be on the outside, and the outside has air, and I'm choking on death.

let's be honest /lit/. is anyone else here unironically a pseud? i don't actually read books, i just shitpost on /lit/ about books and critical theories that i read about on wikipedia and /lit/ archives. i have a "favorite book" that i've only read half of and people in my life genuinely believe i'm into literature and know a lot about it. it's not like i'm proud of it—i have a shit attention span and no willpower to actually do something difficult or useful, so i channel all my energy into being a complete fraud.

i'm not the only one, right?

>>11144225
You've got to tear through the house of your mind and rip open every curtain and pry open every painted shut window. Let the raw sunlight roast all that exposed nasty.

>>11128160
>>11129854
lmao did he actually write that?
are they worth it?

Recently won the attention of a girl, and I'm not sure if I like her or not. Her appearance is great, but she is kinda weird while texting, in the meaning that she doesn't pay me much attention, but normally she has came up to talk to me a lot of times at a few events and seemed very interested. The worst thing is, she will be going to Germany at the end of the summer, and I'm just thinking of bailing on her, but fuck man a girl that cute has never been interested in me, and she even has a personality.

Idk :/

I was on my way to being /fitlit/ but crashed my bicycle. Now I'm walking around with a cane, won't be hitting the gym for a month or more.
On one hand I feel more /lit/ now, on the other this sucks.

>>11128141
I want to fuck traps so hard fuuuuuuckk

>>11136624
This but I'm already 24.

>>11136543
No.

Reddit has undergone a ridiculous redesign that makes the site look like facebook. It's also significantly slower and uglier. Reddit gets a lot of hate here, and rightfully so, but there are some good subreddits and I'm mad that they've killed the site's usability like this. 4chan is the best designed website I regularly use, it's simple as fuck and it just works.

I use /r/askphilosophy, /r/calligraphy, /r/math, and sometimes /r/france if you want to judge if I fit the rebbitor archetype. To my knowledge there aren't any good non-reddit alternatives for those. (discounting /r/france, I use it exclusively for french practice which I'm sure exists elsewhere).

>>11134711
I also have this problem. It's like everything I do has to be quirky or interesting for no reason other than giving me a sick sense of self-validation.
The spectacle of modern society eats at our our humanity like a cancer..

>>11144319

I actually do enjoy reading (or used to, it hasn't been doing much for me anymore), but the thing is I'm so fucking stupid that even if I remember what I just read, the odds are good I won't have understood much of it at all. I'm too dumb to be a pseud, even.

I'm tired of being an alcohol but for some reason I always start drinking again even though I feel better sober.

>>11144319
I'm this bad but people definitely think I'm smarter than I am. I think I'm unironically quiet intelligent, but I'm also very mentally ill and barely apply myself. Somehow I keep stumbling into success though. For example, despite spending 90% of my time at college sitting in my room fucking around, one of my professors said that he thought I had promise and invited me to work with him on research over the summer. I've spent the last three days watching Seinfeld instead of writing, doing my (remote) job, or preparing for the previously mentioned research.

So yeah I do feel like a fraud. I'm so damn conflicted about it too, I feel like I'm squandering myself but can't convince myself that not squandering myself is worthwhile. I should probably go to a doctor, but I live in burgerland and as such rely on my parents' health insurance, and that's not a conversation I want to have with them.

>>11128141
sometimes when i take drugs, i feel like a platonic liver. Shitting machine, sleeping machine, eating machine. Man is in larger part an animal

>>11144319
i spend hundreds buying the "right" books and i mostly use them as decoration. ironically i went to better universities and have a better job than 90% of posters on this board but i couldn't make it more than a few chapters into infinite jest

>>11146733

If you have the money you can bypass insurance if you want. I don't recommend that cause you'll hemorrhage money, but it's a possibility.

Being smart and reading "intellectual" books is overrated. Even guys that are uglier than me are pulling pussy because they are tol dumb to give a shit.

>>11146815
are you reading because thats the only way to cope with not getting laid?

>>11146815
Go masturbate and then afterwards try to figure out what your goals in life are. Stop using 'pussy' as a measure of success you hormonal weirdo.

anyone else talk to the authors while you read? if he says something that hits close to home i'll mutter "oh fuck you, *author's name*, fuck you", among other things

>>11144319
i don't understand this. i like books. i dropped out of school because i could fuck off and read books in a tree and they didn't call the law for like three months at least for truancy. i don't know if they tightened up those laws.
anyway, because i dropped out and spend most of my time smoking weed or learning crafts and working menial jobs, people are always surprised i have time/brains to read shit and that i read at all sometimes. i just really like stories. i don't get how kids go from begging for more stories at bed time to being like nobody got time for that. i feel like a fucking alien, but you know that there are stories in those books? wikipedia's like when your mom tries to rip you off by reading the story quick and not doing all the voices or telling you what happened to the duck after the story if it did not have a satisfactory gathering of the loose ends when the book finished.
the it's hard/i don't have time shit just seems like you don't like stories. i might bring on the wrath of [s4s] but stories are probably at least as if not more important than birds. i'll cede that birds are probably telling stories about car alarms a lot though, because i've heard them.

>>11146885
yes. sometimes i tell the book i'm hiding it because it's dangerous and scary if i put it down at a terrifying point. putting the book under something makes it less likely the monsters will eat me, and talking to it as i do it means the book and author don't take offense and i remember where i put it. all round golden system, except for the couple of blood feuds i've declared on authors who are dead.

>>11146649
thats how i feel about 4chan

my excuse for browsing rn is that i have a bit of a cold and my roommates are watching the nba playoffs or something so i cant masturbate and/or sleep

I’ve had a dream tonight that featured some guys I once knew on a small, privately-run internet forum. It was kind of a splinter group of a public WarCraft 3 board, where most of them had been banned for trolling and such. (Though some had worked up their way there to become mods and continued leaking internals.)

To get into that private board, you had to write an application and all, about how much of a nerd you were or something. (Back then, calling yourself a nerd was only done half-ironically. "Normies" hadn’t yet taken over and spoiled the label.) I wasn’t very internet-cool and never really made friends with that group or anyone in it, even while making posts on their board – I didn’t post much, but I read everything that was posted, though it wasn’t generally much. When I tried to join their inside club IRC channel once, they banned me.
(I guess what kind of made my "application" get through was that I included a pic (you had to) that was really making clear how much of a forlorn internet-confined person I was; I wore ragged jeans, a stupid black carnival hat, and cheap heart-shaped sunglasses. So it was clear at least that I wasn’t someone looking to just spy on their secret club.)

Anyhow, being reminded of these people really saddened me. I haven’t had a lot of friends in years now, and I’m not even part of any internet circles anymore. I have about three very old internet friends (and we can relate increasingly less), that is all.
Even if I didn’t really belong then, it was still nice to read their stuff and adopt their vocabulary and all. They were all a bit older than me, I think. Some must be well in their thierties by now.

I love the extremely crude postings that the anonymity on image boards is making possible, but of course I’ve never made friends with anyone here.

>>11128141
where is my mind?

>>11144319
I always felt like a fraud if I've never able write or produce anything good. I need to write consistently, hopefully to gather enough material for me to consider it as my magnum opus and then I can die peacefully.

>>11146856
Aren't we all hormonal weirdos? How to surpass this?

>>11129418
Cunt, as it should be

>>11147377
Awareness. You can acknowledge you're cranky because you didn't get to eat and you can acknowledge you're getting erratic because you didn't had an orgasm.

The problem is actually buying into the narrative that those hormonal responses are meaningful and deep.

>>11133110
beautiful post.

>>11147405
They're obviously not meaningful or deep, but for me it seems that the more I orgasm, the more I'm driven by pussy. I'm very aware of all this but nothing changes. I literally and unironically and with great sadness use pussy as a measure of success. I don't want or need anything else in life than getting some. For me, getting artistic or academic recognition, or even financial success is not an end in itself, just a way to get more and more women in my bed. I've been seriously daydreaming about chemical castration for a few years

Am I alone in this

>>11147471
Sounds like you watch porn and don't actually get a lot of pussy, to be honest.

So you're actually driven by some abstraction you created and not actual pussy.

im so lucky

>>11147546
pussy makes you want more pussy, when i started to get laid in early college i craved it every day and wouldn’t jerk off so i could last longer when i did fuck

>>11147555
Why so?

>>11147574
>wouldn't jerk off so i could last longer when i did fuck
Wait what

>>11147546
I don't get a lot of pussy but I don't watch much porn either. It works by periods, but usually when I get laid I watch a lot of porn and when I don't, I just can't stop thinking about women

There might be some freudian shit behind all this, or something along the lines of seeking constant validation from females. Maybe just the fact of caring about this would come from a disgust of my own body/needs idk. What I know is that being self-aware about it never changed anything. Chemical castration, I'm telling you

>>11138639
Thankyou for the nice reply lad. Im feeling a bit better, Im going to take it day by day.

i thought when i moved out of my parents house i would fuck a lot more, and at first i sort of did, but then once my place got kind of lived in, masturbated in, etc. i just don't feel like bringing women here, actually i just got done fapping to amateur tranny hooker porn, fucking women is so out of my realm of possibility or thought right now jacking off to imagining being a trafficked trap in the hood forced to suck big dicks and get humped hard for cash gets me off so much more than just like jacking off to a vagina hole, its annoying id rather jackit to hetero shit but like it will never happen i cant believe it, of course why i believe i could be a possible trap in a brothel when i'm like 6'1" athletic build... on paper i should get a lot of pussy but autism i guess idk

i dislike people and can't relate to them in almost any way, yet desperately crave recognition, distinction and companionship from them at the same time. as a result of this contradiction in which my general dislike slightly outweighs my secretly harbored needs, I've continually isolated myself, making my dilemma worse and worse.

>>11147644
thats the worst part about getting laid if ur not chad who slays pune on the reg, its like u get to feel how normies feel for a day or two while the sex is still fresh in your mind, dreading the moment u go back to autism state of being untouched, i wonder if thats why i dont try to get laid any more, last time i got laid i fucked the hottest chick so far of my life, but like after i just felt bad first of all she was hot af so i didnt last 10 seconds, nofap didnt help at all i hadnt jacked off for like two weeks at least, although she seemed surprised at how much jizz i blasted her with...but now i have no drive or intention to try to actually get laid, i just dont, when its summery and chicks are walking around half naked of course i fantasized about fucking and having a gf etc. but its like how when i see some guy walking out of his million dollar brownstown its like woah i wish i lived there!, but its not gonna happen know what i mean, or even worse if i did move into a million dollar brownstown i'd probably just make a big ass mess and turn the place into a dump and end up selling it

I've done so little these past few days a haze has settled over my mind which makes concentrating on anything very difficult. I can understand how the unachieving, idle NEET can come to be. Once you stop doing anything for more than a couple days your mind begins to fall into perpetual sleep.

My advice for anyone who struggles with this is to do SOMETHING every day. Never go to bed and not be able to state something you accomplished.

>>11147812
ya i feel u, u have to do like that "how to win friends and influence ppl" fag talks about be like a dog, like be non-judgemental and genuinely interested in people, i mean some people are retarded, but most ppl are pretty chill

>>11147823
wisdom, once you start letting a couple days go by doing nothing, they gonna start flying by before u know it u blew a decade

>>11147574
>>11147644
Maybe I'm the weird cunt here but the more I got laid the less I cared about it and the less I cared about being attractive to and wanted by women.

I don't get how people chase pussy for decades without becoming disenchanted with it. It's obviously not the cure to unhappiness and often it's the opposite. Just treat an ejaculation like you would a bowel movement and get on with your day.

>>11147849
i wish i could go back to caring about pussy

>>11147876
Why? It's so tiresome.

>>11147100
I'm a terrible friend. I always care less about people than what they care about me. I throw away friendships on purpose. I'm hoping that not having any friends at all will help me understand the true value of friendship, if it has any value at all.
When I disconnect myself from all the people that care about me I always end up trying to replace the interaction, either with chats or forums. Chats get boring quickly for me, so that only leaves me with forums. If you look for them, private forums and small communities are all over the place. 4chan is not the only imageboard.
What I came to understand is that interacting with people either irl or online is more important than "having friends". If you don't have friends but still interact with people, then that's ok.
I don't know what my point is, I just wanted to say something because I could relate to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPVYySjLQlc

Someone post the Nietzsche nudes pls

>>11148078
issa fake

>>11147830
i work in business so im fairly well-adjusted, its just a weird dichotomy.

I'm not convinced there's any hope to be found anymore. None of this will improve, it will only worsen, and I'm too much of a nonentity, a nonperson to counteract it. I refuse to see this to the end.

enough of this lotus eating! i'm out!

Im wondering if anyone here knows any good books, like the ones they actually read that's on achieving long-term happiness. Anyone knows any?

>>11148749
Depends what you've already read. Which books did you think would explain happiness?

What are the good websites for free ebooks?

>>11148775
I've read nothing yet.

>>11148791
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvAoxLz7gBI

>>11148806
Thanks. I'll get right on that.

I'm at a crossroads. Several years ago, I developed a form of depression that leaves me unable to feel pleasure or emotions, mentally and physically fatigued, and with no aspirations at all. I put my life on hold to deal with this condition, but it's impossible to stay a NEET much longer, so I must go back to school. With daily meditation I managed to work for several months last summer, so I know it can be done, but the thought of it is bleak. There is a good chance I will miss out on all of my college years due to a disease I have no control over. I no longer feel like myself. Every day, I think back to my childhood friend and his family. That was the last time I felt truly happy.

But what does it mean? Isn't it bizarre that our lives can be totally ruined by circumstances beyond our control? Perhaps our approach to life is fundamentally wrong. Perhaps there's more beyond this constant cycle of up and down. I'm talking about Buddhism. It is the only thought system I have encountered which still holds true in this state. As if I've been given a rare perspective of life that says "Here it is. Do you get it yet?" And if I will survive the next few years, it will have to be through this. Nothing else is left. So I suppose I'll give it a shot.
>>11148776
libgen

>>11148960
>Isn't it bizarre that our lives can be totally ruined by circumstances beyond our control?
Can I ask what happened? If you think depression is beyond your control then I'm not sure you are understanding Buddhism correctly. The Buddhist formulation of kamma [translated as action] (there are several versions of kamma depending on which Indian religion/philosophic system we are talking about) tells you this: you find yourself on a particular context which depends on your past kamma (either from previous rebirth or from your past actions in this life); this context is in some ways out of your control, but that is (at least for now) irrelevant to your practice. What matters is what you do, how you behave and react to that particular context in which you find yourself in. It doesn't matter if our previous circumstances made ourselves be in a particular situation, what really matter is what we do in that situation. That's where the eightfold path comes to the picture. That's where meditation comes to the picture. Both of them as methods to be able to act in the proper way.
Anyway, I'll give you my point of view of what I can understand from your post, trying to stay as close as possible to a Buddhist point of view.

>our approach to life is fundamentally wrong
If by "our" you mean the Western approach, which focuses on material gain, recognition, power, violence. desire and sometimes nihilism, then yes. Absolutely. It is not the correct way of approaching our situation. Why? Because they are all rooted on the three poisons (khleshas). They are all also instances of wrong view, wrong effort and wrong resolve. Why wrong view? Because they don't see the world in the formulation of the Four Noble Truths (aryasaccas). Why wrong effort? Because they engage in the opposite of the Four Right Exertions (see SN 45.8). Why wrong reolve? Because they suppose ill-will, non-harmlesness and non-renunciation.

>>11148960
>>11149139
(cont.)
>Perhaps there's more beyond this constant cycle of up and down
If by "more beyond this" you mean some ultimate reality, then -from the Buddhist point of view- you are mistaken. It is not the case that there is some constant, permanent reality beyond this mundane reality. If by "more beyond this" you mean a process which can be understood and a chain of events which can be broken, then you are correct. The world as we experience it is subject to three characteristics: impermanence (anicca), suffering (dukkha) and non-self (anatta). Keep in mind that the concept of non-self is severely misunderstood by Westerners, who tend to equate as nihilism (i.e. no self) Non-self is different from no-self. In fact, the Buddha refused to answer the question if there is a soul (which many people think is their "true self"). Anyway, if you are confused about non-self we can discuss it further.
This process I'm referring to is the chain of interdependent origination (paticcasamuppada). It has 12 links which are interrelated in various ways, and there are several formulations of it throughout the Pali cannon. This is also another topic which we can discuss if you want to.

My advice? Definitely give this a shot. I was in a similar situation and found Buddhism to be the best system to adhere to.

>>11149139
>>11149141
I appreciate the response, and if you're in the next thread I'd like to continue the conversation. I'll try and give a few good responses here though.
>Can I ask what happened?
It's not that the illness will never go away, but that it's impossible to find satisfaction or avoid suffering in this state with a normal human mindset. Not as in a Western sense specifically, but any that depends on a constant release of pleasure. When you consider life in the long term this way, the justifications become very weak, and often simply come down to increasing the odds of pleasure and minimizing the pain. This is why the Buddhist perspective appeals to me: Neither of those are necessary. The cycle of samsara functions like our own personal patterns of gain and loss, and when properly understood, liberation becomes an incredible goal to be free from this. Now, I understand that no one's fate is sealed, and I'll likely be happy again someday, but what better illustration than this to highlight the error in our ways? Someday comes more tragedy. It is not awful, but it seems quite empty. Like running in place for centuries. To be honest though, I am still divided on whether coming to Buddhism to avoid pain is sensible or not. It shouldn't matter what you're feeling, right? The conclusion holds true at any time. It's the fact that of all thought systems, this is the one that holds true every time. That's what pulls me in.
>If by "more beyond this" you mean some ultimate reality, then -from the Buddhist point of view- you are mistaken
That's kind of a tricky thing, isn't it? I've heard that nirvana is samsara and samsara is nirvana, and the only barrier is deluded existence. Our thoughts condition our lives, so I do think it's valid to suggest the Middle Way as an alternative to that cycle. It's a different way of seeing. When I meditate, occasionally during the day I just stop and realize I'm okay with doing nothing, with the silence. After a month of consistent practice last year, it was almost like the disease didn't exist. That's why it's so interesting. It's not another shiny new thing to strive for, but freedom from striving altogether. It's such a beautiful thing, and I am starting to think this above all things would be best for me.