/lit/ - Literature

What's the point?

u mum gai

I sense that I am being fucked with. I don't know how to take things at face value when it's obvious they aren't on the level.

>>11113538
Care to extrapolate?

>>11113545

I am going to assume that's a meme...

I'm schizo, so I have delusions of reference. But those delusions of reference also constitute potential gettier cases that could be used by something external to manipulate me, along the lines Nick Land talks about in his Qabbala 101. So when someone at a McDonalds blurts out "I gave you life" followed by "Embrace your faith", it's obvious something external is communicating with me, but I have a hard time believing it's God, for multiple reasons. The pseudo-God experiences make it harder for me to have authentic faith in a higher God and cue me into somewhat gnostic thinking with man in place of the demiurge and archons.

>>11113402
I can't find a game to play while I listen audiobooks. Euro Truck Simlutor is getting boring after about 300 hours

>>11113576

Play poker

>>11113402
Can one write truthfully about an experience they have never had? Can you write about the horrors of war without setting foot on the battlefield, or the filtering beauty of love without ever having a person to call your own? Can these tales be genuine, or are they simply fiction spun by a charlatan.
Fuck acne

>>11113579
I don't understand the rules

>>11113583
try blackjack, it's alot easier

>>11113585
I think I'm just shit at card games anon, I couldn't even get into Gwent

>>11113583

Hand strength:

Straight flush
Four of a kind
Full house (3 of one card, 2 of another)
Flush (5 cards of the same suit)
Straight (5 cards numerically adjacent)
3 of a kind
Two pair
One pair
High card

Higher cards beat lower cards if two hands of the same type are shown down. Each round ends when either all players but one fold or when all the cards have been dealt and all the betting finished

Everything else is automated with online poker and you don't really need to know about it.

>>11113596
It's okay anon, try painting while you listen to books then

>>11113582
This is hotly debated, but, in my view you can, but only through meticulous research. Taking the horrors of war as an example: read soldier's diaries, read about PTSD, talk to veterans (even if you are writing about an ancient war certain elements, like how it feels to lose a friend, are timeless).

Usually I don't get too stressed by things, but I'm so over modern living and just want to pull a Thoreau and go live on my step dad's property in the middle of nowhere with no reception or anything, but can't seem to pull the trigger or even how to be sustainable considering it's too cold to grow crops and there's not too much game to catch to feed myself. Every time I see some shitty article online pushing lefty garbage social Marxist shit I just want to stop existing on the same plane as these retards

>>11113559
Im sorry man

>>11113626

And now that I've written it down I don't know if it happened because it originally happened or because it was made to happen or because I wrote down that it happened.

>>11113402
anxiety, I'm a taiwanese dude born in america currently living in taiwan and struggling to learn chinese, I hate this, I fucking hate chinese and I hate chinese schools and their stupid tests

>>11113616
>complains about modern living and finding it too stressful
>despises people who fight against the global capitalist system that has created this type of modern life

Either you're a stormfag or you can't see the disconnect here.

>>11113643
I mean, come the fuck on, who thought this was a good idea, what the fuck am I even looking at here

>>11113653
Good and bad lefty policies anon, not a stormer at all could not care less

>>11113643
Why are you learning Chinese?

>>11113582
everyone feels love

>>11113653
>>11113671

Problem is, capitalism is making life worse for the masses by trying to squeeze them for every penny.

What's on my mind is whether it is possible to make the United States more collective and less hyper-individualistic always watching out for number one fuck everybody else without going full-bore Marxism.

I'd rather have some kind of traditionalism, but fuck if I'd have any idea how to get it done properly.

>>11113681
because my parents came to the conclusion that chinese education was better for me in the long run, but they came to that conclusion a little too late, which meant I had to struggle through it all with broken fucking chinese

I'm going to be graduating from college this week - applied maths. Feeling kind of apathetic.

>>11113735
I have made a considerable amount of money for a person my age and yet there is still something missing. I am told my looks are great and yet I can't get a woman to like me for more than a friend. If they even decide to meet more than once that is. I must have a toxic and unatractive personality. It is not as if I am some sort of incel. Sure I may talk about books too often and I have failed so many classes it can be difficult to believe I will even have a stable job but I can make a decent joke here and there. I don't know what to do to feel better. My friends don't want to go clubbing so I stay home. Alone. Listening to Yer Blues has somehow become the only thing to make me feel happy along with buying more books that I will only read in a few years. At the very least I have improved my work ethic and stopped jerking off.

The adventures of Huckleberry Finn is a great book.

>>11113793
Didn't mean to reply to you. It's nice that you studied maths though.

>>11113538
Imagine that like Kant's and my nouemnon that the fuckers are unknowable and therefore non-fuckers and instead you're mistaken and you actually have deities watching over you, that the good in everyone shines forth. Imagine then that this I experiencing such others as either fuckers or deities are also a product of yourself. Think clearly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4jbq9SVxAc

>turns from red to blue, sits down, earth still doesn't conspire with him.
>tries to learn meditation
>gets bored

I had a moment of happiness and meaning this morning, a welcome break from my usual sorrows and shit
>Her birthday was today
>Got her a really nice edition of her favorite book, marked in the book her favorite line, and wrote a letter
>Left it on her doorstep last night
>She text me this morning saying that was the most precious thing anyone has done for her, my writing was cute, etc
In my usual day to day monotony, always having a feeling that I'm wasting away without meaning, always searching for meaning, I found a meaningful thing today. I don't know if she's still thinking about it or if she's already moved on, but the fact that I made her happy for that instant, having a moment where I did something of meaning to someone else, that gives me meaning, gives me something I can look back on and smile about.

life is a pendulum between boredom and despair

>>11113817
I hope you're moving on now like you were told last week

>>11113826
>we experience despair in the pursuit of our briefly lived but precious goals and a kind of existential boredom similar to clinical depression when we are not pursuing these goals
Why do normies fuck it up so bad that's literally the opposite it was a simple idea

>>11113402
Why do we dream of stars?

>>11113833
Slowly but surely

>>11113878
because we have yet to obtain them
Also hitler should have tried his hand in poetry instead of jew killing

Ever get the feelings that you should be fucking a qt 2d Loli? Then you should objectively be exterminated for the benefit of mankind

>write short story about a late, middle-aged man, gone through financial hardship, living alone, trying to find dignity in his relative poverty, trying to just come to rest with what is ultimately his objective failure in life, despite whatever other qualities he may possess
>actually feel very proud of it, it's a fairly simple topic but the structure, prose, and characters are all the best I've ever written and I can see a clear leap in improvement here
>realise as I'm reading it that I have essentially just written a very sad story about my own father, who is still alive, one of my biggest influences, who always rings me and encourages and supports me to write
>whether right or wrong, feel as though this has the very real chance of being published in this journal I have been making submissions to, and if it does and my dad reads it, my dad who I have fantasised about sharing my first publication with since I was like 19, it would break his heart

I'm going to put this one away I think. I am very happy with it though, but it should just mean that my next one will be even better, hopefully I can write about something else.

>>11113914
Honestly daily

>>11113576
check out FTL; might be too mind consuming if you are new. A better game is Mini Metro; it is a very chill and relaxing game that doesn't require any thinking unless your trying to break records and make the most efficient system, otherwise you can focus on your audio books.

I'm writing things and reading stuff and having a great time. Also work.

>>11113925
Why not talk to him about it?

>>11113817
I'm happy for you, and I hope you get to talk to Her more. and get to smile too, I hope that for you too-too.

>>11113582
Stephen Crane wrote The Red Badge of Courage without ever seeing conflict. To be fair, he interviewed veterans, but with the internet and sources one could achieve any literary goal with enough talent and work.

Fiction isn't supposed to be an immaculate representation of reality anyways, anon.

>>11113793
>stopped jerking off.
thats your problem. no fap is fucking joke, masturbating is natural and healthy.

>>11113925
This is one of my main issues with my writing. My best writing just feels too intensely personal to share with those closest to me. I think part of why I write is to get out things I can't tell to anyone. That's a tough one. I was thinking of using my spestraged father, things I wished I'd said to him, as kind of a springboard into some fiction, but lucky for me he's dead.

>>11113956
>Why not talk to him about it?

Cause as a kid he was like my hero basically, and whatever else he wasn't good at, he was very good at being a dad, teaching write from wrong and setting a good example. He dedicated a lot of his time to me and my siblings and actually sacrificed a lot for us, because of this I continue to pretend that I have no idea about a lot of his financial troubles and I act as though I am blind to certain other shortcomings of his, and make sure to maintain the dynamic of me looking up to him because I know it makes him feel good and worthwhile. I'm sure a conversation could be cathartic and maybe even helpful, but I prefer to make sure that he can still feel like the idol he was to me.

It wasnt as I'd imagined it. It was better. I was focused and composed in my gaze, he was unable to look me in the eye. I wasn't able to bring myself to touch him, to manhandle him, as I'd fantasized.
After all his threats, he unbuckled his pants, and pulled them down only slightly below his hips, revealing to me only that he's a boxer-brief man, in navy for today. He said "Thats as far as I'm willing to go" please. After all his talk.
I poured us both shots, and we drank them, no ceremony or eye contact. Then I started putting away the leftovers from dinner and he walked away.
The hat in hand apology was unexpected, yet relished. I told him not to worry. I told him we were even.

>>11114031
I don't get it. Is this about a woman's satisfaction that the man who sexually harasses her turns out to be a sexual coward?

>>11114046
No, sounds like you get it.

I'm at the point where every single time I masturbate I have a few revelations about myself that fundamentally changes the way I view myself/others. Anywhere there's a feeling of unresolved tension (there's probably a better way to put this, maybe it's more like ambivalence about a certain quality) between aspects of myself causes sexual excitement, and resolution causes me to seek out other parts of my self that have that same or similar issues. It's edging, but with ideas.
I don't like feeling so mutable, but at the same time I also don't like not thinking about these aspects of myself I'm ignoring. It's scary to feel as though you don't know who you're going to be in a few days, but I think I might prefer being that person than the person I am now.
I'd be hesitant to ask for any books you'd recommend at this point, since I'm in a more impressionable state, but if there's anything you think might be useful I'll consider reading it. I've thought that maybe some alchemy or psychology texts would be helpful, but I don't know which ones, if any, I should read.

>>11114069
Is the pic unrelated?

>>11114029
you sound like a good son, and youre dad seems like a great guy

>>11113402
I want to shit on planet earth and then fuse with the universe, becoming one with the harmonic pulsing void - leaving the planet a ball of reeking muck to eventually solidify and crumble into the night.

>>11113402
I like dudes being hurt and caretaking. I also like it when guys are afraid, like terrified. The context doesn't matter.

It's like, a real intense fetish of mine. This is the hottest picture I've got, basically.

It's YA trash, but The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner is basically hardcore porn for me.

Anybody know some books for me? I've got an itch.

>>11114231
Misery its a Stephen King novel. It also is a movie with James Caan and Kathy Bates. It is right up your alley, or vagina. Whatever you call that thing the doctor did to your dick. Antichrist is a movie you would also like.

>>11114246
don't kinkshame me
but thanks.

>>11114231
are you gril?

>>11113709
Yeah things were way better before the free market.

>>11114260
the free market is propaganda. it's not the free market when mega corporations are allowed to monopolize the market.

>>11114305
Where are these monopolize you're speaking of?

>>11114311
windows, monsanto, ykk. nestlé has 8,000 subsidiary brands. big malls choke out corner stores. the more money a company has, the more they can funnel into marketing, outsourcing, patents, buying up small companies to kill them off. Small business can't compete. It's a stacked game from the start. None of this is a secret.

If you're going to have opinions than at least know anything about what you're talking about.

>>11114144
Other than the amount of drinking involved? Yes.
>>11114246
I JUST finished that one. The book is so much more disturbing than the movie. The book also notes that she is unattractive, but hints at kind of Mommie type stuff. It also starts referring to Anne as The Goddess, which has an inescapable sexual context for me.

>>11113402
What the fuck was Hegel thinking about

>>11114311
This has to be bait right? You know that the majority of companies are actually subsidiaries belonging to a handful of giant multinationals - who almost literally own everything its possible to own in the current market?

>>11114311
oh come on.

>>11114346
>free market
>monopolies
Come on now, do some reading on economics and you'll find the reason why it's all fucked up these days

I usually, depressing, catch these threads at 300 posts. So I read the whole thread. Read every one else's thoughts, concerns and others advice. At the end I get a feeling of emptyness because I can't post because it's about to 404. So my personal thoughts and concerns get unvoiced because there's no outlet for them. By the time the next thread is made, I will have moved on to something else. By the time the next thread is made I have different thoughts and concerns.

This has happened at least half a dozen times.

>start reading with Orwell at 11
>write essays on absurdism and existentialism in a foreign language at 16
>embrace café-culture
>functioning alcoholic at 17
>smoking since 14
>read obscure Japanese lit
>read De Sade in poorly lit bars on a Wednesday night
>wake up hungover at some roasty’s place with a copy of T.S Eliot’s collected poems in my jacket
>/lit/ essentials, all done
>hundreds of books under my belt
>write poetry and short stories
>retranslated countless Hemingway shorts to my language because the existing translations were terrible
>in the process of retranslating Shakespeare’s sonnets to master the form
>just started learning French as my 3rd foreign language
>be an arrogant dick about it

Then
>completely fuck up my matura and ruin my chance at studying lit at uni next year

I am the quintessential /lit/-poster, the essence of this board, the inviting ghost that haunts the dreams of illiterate peasants. After years of browsing this board, I have finally embraced it, I have become (you.) I am quite possibly the most elitist failure at life.

There is no turning back. I am going to travel to Germany on foot with a backpack full of empty leatherbound books as soon as the results are out. I will write. Tire myself out. Pull a Werther and be done with it.

“Live by the /lit/, die by the /lit/“ shall be on my tombstone, next to the Miklós Radnóti quotes I have prepared for this purpose.

>>11113643
Buddy, I too am a Taiwanese dude born in America except I never learned Chinese and I regret it now that I actually am interested in reading classical Chinese literature and poetry and I have to struggle through mires of translations, knowing that especially for poetry nothing comes close.

Are deaf people less fashionable because the can't hear people say their clothes look like shit?

Ra sông lúc giông xa,
Gió lặn vì rắn Lọ,
Lăng mạng mà mang nặng,
Đi mạn Tây mây tàn.

>>11113402
I'm really ugly, with burned/acne with huge pores and scars face, and I will most definitely die alone and suffer the consequences of something I have no control over.

>>11115116
no? deaf people don't actually hear less- well, haha, no, but most of them get around just fine. Most can read lips, have hearing aids, and use ASL. I've known a lot of deaf people, and the only difference really, is that you have to make sure they can see your face before you start talking.

>>11115121
don't worry dude. how old are you? Is your acne chronic? because there's medication for that. as for scars, that's not too bad. try regularly using facial scrubs. I don't know how much of a scam scar reducing creams are, but there's no reason not to try.

>>11115121
Admission of a lonely death is much easier than actually getting to know someone who may see past that, anon.

I did more shitposting today than I ever have.

>>11115121
>i must be alone because i'm ugly
there are plenty of ugly women out there and you could live a happy life with one of them if you weren't shallow on top of being ugly

what's on your mind /lit/

I want to brainwash myself to read books again without getting bored

>>11114029
>>11113925
Why not make the character a good dad then? Then if your dad reads it and thinks it's about him, he'll at least know you think he's a good dad.

>>11115121
Bukowski, what are you doing here? Don't you have some letters to deliver?

I am way too old to still be nervous about certain things. About to go on a date soon, very nervous. I'm perfectly comfortable around women I know and I've had romantic/sexual experiences with women before. And yet here I am feeling jittery and taking 4 shits in 2 hours and worrying about how I may have no appetite this evening when we inevitably go to some bar/restaurant.

What do you do when your friends have moved on and your family hates you and you don't have any reason to be anywhere or to do anything?

>>11116232
despair and escape into books

My girlfriend has fallen out of love with me. I want to write but I keep only reading instead.

>>11116232

Ultimate freedom. Accept the futility and death. Then do what you want. Drink, fuck, do drugs, read, play ball, hike

>>11113402
reported

>>11115007
I am familiar with that feeling friend. Even if someone doesn't respond I can assure you all these posts are read

They already deleted the thread on manga. Is the thread still up that mentions manga and has a few panels posted? It also contained some good discussion on Mishima.

Pizza and tits.

>>11116726
fuck, you're right.

Well, relationship right now is a investment. You have to be on a steady way towards financial sucess, otherwise you won't get any female attention. Which is fucking hard in this economy. Everything feels like a fucking office presentation, everybody watches, yet nobody is listening or gives a fuck about.

>>11116759
I know there are girls who aren't obsessed with that shit out there, but I don't know how to find them.

>>11113402
All my friends have become horrible people and they don't care about it, I'm tired of this people, I'm tired of this world

>>11113402
I found peace in buddhism. Even though I don't consider myself knowledgeable on the topic, introductionary lectures from Alan Watts and books from Thich Nhat Hanh and other authors really helped me to get a grip on buddhism. I feel more attuned with universe now, I am way calmer and patient than I used to be and I generally feel more happy.

I'm thinking about writing a 82-page short story entitled Lacuna Laguna, in which Kant is a lifeguard, Hume is a tortoise, and Nietzsche is a torrential rainstorm pouring down from a distinctly Germanic cloud formation, but this only lasts 10-15 minutes (or 3 pages total). Also a lithographic commandment tablet cataloging the '1000 practices of indelible virtue' washes up on shore and Kant reads it over before chucking it back into the sea, but the tide brings it back anyway.

>>11116836
>82-page short story
Is this a joke about something? I don't get it

>>11115041
it's Sade, not de Sade.

>>11116860
I've narrowed it down pretty well and 82 pages is the exact point that you'll completely lose a dispassionate highschooler reader. When they essay-ify my work I want them to consider the whole dang thing, not the introductory part followed by the summary cliffnotes.

>>11116899
So is it going to be a "What the Tortoise Said to Achilles" deal, where Kant tries to prove the a priority of causality deductively while Hume takes the piss and Nietzsche shits thoughtlessly on both of them from above?

Can't enjoy music anymore. After many doctor appointments, they can't figure out what's causing my sudden tinnitus. The ENT I was referred to was no help. Fucking hate doctors who try to get me out of their office as fast as possible! Was away from creative work for a while as I recovered from surgery for something unrelated. I can't seem to get back into it. Composing music just makes me frustrated. I can't focus on art. It feels like something is missing. I can always write, but nothing creative. Just complaints. I'm going crazy. I don't want to die, but I refuse to live with this. I will kill myself if my next few doctor appointments don't produce results. I hate myself. I don't know what to do.

i dont know why but i feel like in the past few months ive become numb and indifferent to almost everything except for my immediate needs and obligations. the future is just an abstract concept that doesnt hold any meaning, it simply exists and i feel like i have no agency over it. everything feels mundane and gray and ive stopped enjoying a lot of what i used to find engaging. ive also become less sociable, and its started to become harder for me to interact with other people. all i really want to do is sleep and avoid responsibility. i really have no idea whats wrong with me

I have so little confidence that I'll probably end up alone forever.

>>11115121
I was in the same position, best decision of my life was seeing a dermatologist, work it out from there

Only God can cure my despair, yet I can't believe. Help me believe, /lit/. How do I find peace?

all the pretense and coerced hypocrisy buried any genuineness I had left

>>11117775
I don't know you can lie to yourself or just accept it and move on

>>11115161
yo moms pussy

>>11117804
your pussy

>Try to look up some smut
>it's either litrpg garbage or their actual smut content is laughably vague
I can't fucking believe that FUCKING FANFICTIONS do a better job at this. It's embarrassing.

I gave up on my dream of being a professional writer. A lot of anxiety has been taken off my shoulders and I can read for fun again. Laugh at me because I deserve it, but it feels good.

>>11117818
HAHAHAHAHA

I feel like I'm suffocating. I should be studying for finals, but instead I'm playing video games. I want to study, but I am having a panic attack due to something that happened 5 months ago and now I can't concentrate.

>>11117554
You're "depressed"

>>11115041
man you sound like kind of a faggot

I've hit a creative rut that I can't even feel right in calling a rut considering i barely write or draw anymore as is. I only noticed recently that i haven't produced much of anything outside of assorted tabletop campaigns for friends, and now its clouding my head to the point that I don't think I even can write for myself anymore. I'm sure plenty of people have gone through this kind of block, so if anyone has some inspiration to slam over my head it's greatly appreciated.

>>11117855
think about your future. seriously

>>11117869
Not just a faggot, he sounds like The Faggot

>>11117917
The Faggot, fagmaster of yore

>been complaining and asking for advice about my love life on /lit/ and /adv/ for the better part of a year
>get meme advice (lol just find someone else, lol take the whatever-pill), terrible advice (lol just lose yourself in books and drink), or insults
>/r9k/ losers insist I'm a normie because I can somewhat contain my autism around others
>the worst though is the people here insisting that life is over and I may as well just die
>instead of moving on become increasingly jealous, angry, and depressed
>literally at the lowest point in my life
>nearly in a fatal car crash today, don't even care
>fucking around on the net tonight because nothing else to do
>stumble on /r/breakups over on plebbit
>its actual good advice from people in similar situations
>feel I could actually apply this
>don't feel so alone anymore
>hopeful for first time in months
rebbit is still a fucking shit hole but it won today

>>11117934
You're a retard for listening to reddit and ignoring actual good advice
It's not other people's fault if you refuse to accept reality and wallow in self pity and circle jerk basedboy advice from reddit
Maybe accept you are wrong and not others who are trying to help you

>>11116892
somebody already broke my heart (no no, can't go there again)

>>11117946
shuuuuuut up

>>11117940
Give me some "actual good advice" to follow anon. Because
>killing myself
>becoming a misogynist
>becoming a weird dante-tier hermit
>keep trying to get her back
Is all I get from this place, and it's all retarded.

>>11117949
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF7yuNg_zWE

>>11117951
>becoming a weird dante-tier hermit
wait that's expert advice wtf are you on about

>>11117952
I maintain shuuuuuut up

im just sad dude
debating whether or not to eat apple pie

>>11117957
do it, apple pie is only ever a good time

>>11117957
do it for me. my stomach is fucked up and I cant eat stuff like that

>>11117961
>>11117967
i always say yeah this'll be the last time then ill cut down on the sweets
i feel like if i eat it im going nowhere
just want to be lean

>>11117972
whatever ill go eat some with icecream

I hate being stupid. I hate not remembering the Abductor Policis Brevis but remembering the Transverse and Oblique head. I hate being too ambitious for my Intelligence level, and trying to make things beyond my abilities

>>11117972
homie ive been on "last time i eat x" for like 3 years, just eat the pie you got and stop getting pie from now on

>>11117786
genuineness is one big meme. I was in the same rut for a while

You may think of yourself as not genuine but what do you mean when you say this? If behavior is to a large extent determined by circumstances in life, you can't really say that who you are is authentic or genuine. There is no kernel to 'you' or your personality. Even what you consider to be genuine was probably molded by prior experience, unless you want to go back to the moment you were born. We are forever changing and it's best to go with the flow.

I'm not trying to shit on your feelings or anything, I just want to offer some help. you might have some problems with honesty, which is closely related to authenticity. You might want to try to be more honest about what you feel to others and try to do what you think is right. If you can change into something that is not authentic you can change back into something you might like.

>>11117992
that’s not how that works; you have to cultivate disgust against your bad eating and spending habits

>>11118001
thats not how it works for you
t. havent eaten cake in more than a year because i stopped buying it

ate the pie
feel worse now
thnx /lit/
>>11118001
ur right

When I was in college I had literally only one friend. She would hang out with me about once a month or so and we would just talk about poetry, philosophy, random stuff. I'm pretty sure she was just hanging out with me out of pity but I was pretty happy that she put up with my autism for a couple of hours per month and it was nice to talk to a living human occasionally.

Anyway, when I graduated I gave her a copy of my favorite book, Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov. The poem part of the book was, as described in the prologue, originally written on 80 index cards by its author. So I decided it would be a nice touch to include 80 index cards with the book, so she could write her own poetry on them.

Later I realized (Pale Fire spoilers inc., but it's all pretty much implied in the prologue) that I had often compared myself to the character of Charles Kinbote in personality and outlook (and she didn't know it, but also hallucinations/schizophrenia/psychosis). By giving her the notecards I was alikening her to John Shade. That is, I was basically saying that I was going to murder her and kill myself, where the truth is I would never kill anyone but myself.

That's probably why she never talked to me again. I should've thought all this out beforehand

>>11117996
I don't actually disagree with you, I'm not actually trying to reach out to some unchanging self. It's just seems that honesty and integrity are valuable attributes, but when your opinions go against around 90% of your surroundings you're forced to keep quiet for the sake of peace.

I'm not even some kind of radical or anything, it's just that in my current circumstances I cannot really afford to create more chaos by petty differences in opinion. It's a kind of bitter compromise to someone who seems to have opinionated tendencies such as myself.

>>11113402
I have quit my law firm lawyer job to pursue stand up comedy full time. I am nervous for the future but believe i’m the greatest of all time.

>>11118056
oh no. oh no no no.

I really hope you succeed and aren't back here in three months talking about depressed you are for throwing away your cushy law job

>>11113632

an author that wrote short stories that had a schizo personality is ryunosuke akutagawa.

i just felt like saying that idk if it's relevant!

>>11118061
What do you mean by "cushy"? Most of my friends who went to law school are slowly becoming overworked, nominally human emotional husks.

>>11118073
I didn't mean anything in particular, just constructing a situation analogous to one I've seen play out here before.

>>11118073
This entirely

>>11113696
Except for ur mom

I feel lonely and bored. I don't talk about my emotions and would find them hard to describe, despite feeling emotions very strongly. I might post in these threads more often just to get it out. Many of you probably don't have someone to talk to about this stuff in real life either.

I feel disconnected from my friends and the people on the internet. Everyone is so preoccupied with stupid shit. The one friend I have that i felt i might be able to share more personal stuff with annoys me. He is clingy and today I wished he would leave me alone. I think he looks up at me in some way. He sees me as having figured some stuff out, but I have no idea what I'm doing.

I've also become tired of the internet. It's all practically the same as it was five years ago and it's getting boring. I've been using 4chan less. I am sick of the stupid arguments that get repeated endlessly, or some weird new boring factoid that gets discussed in exactly the way you would expect it to get discussed. People here say they are interested in music or literature but i haven't really seen anyone say anything interesting about it. Not that i could say something interesting here. There is no one explaining anything here, there's only condescension. It gets a little tiring. Having no discussion might be preferable to discussion here.

I'm going to bed now, goodnight /lit/.

Life is crazy.

>>11118041
Yeah I guess there isn't too much you can do about that. You generally won't change people's opinion about things either, which might make you even more reluctant to share. Honesty is not always preferable to harmony. I'd try to do be who you want to some extent, so you don't go crazy.

>>11118105
Good night anon. I feel very much the same way, this
> I don't talk about my emotions and would find them hard to describe, despite feeling emotions very strongly.
In particular. For me at least, I think I tried to suppress a lot of my feelings when I was younger, always feeling that I was a rational, logical, scientifically minded person. In recent years it's bubbled up though, and I feel overly emotional most of the time. And like you said, they're difficult to describe. The words we have to describe them are too limited to cover the full gamut of my feelings.

I've been trying to express them through art, but it's hard. I'd like to paint or draw or make music, but I'm really bad at all of them. Sometimes I feel like writing too, but I'm always doubting if when I write I'm actually communicating my feelings in a way others can understand. I have written a couple poems that got a few compliments on here, so maybe that's what I should work on.

>>11117981
Totally get this. Especially when you meet someone who is so clearly above your level that you couldn't hope to match them. And you are always wondering whether you can't understand something because you're stupid or because you're lazy. Sorry I don't have any advice for you.

>>11117951
>becoming a weird dante-tier hermit
I actually did this. One day I just deleted all social media, threw away my phone, scrambled the password to my email, withdrew $55,000, moved across the country by bus (paid cash), and found an apartment where they didn't ask for ID and accept cash (this was a lucky find). Live on about $200 a month that go toward groceries, I don't drink either, so I should be good for a while.

To be fair I'm still in a large city but I'm in my room 24/7 except for groceries, which I only pay for with cash. Don't talk to anyone but 4chan. I'm sure my parents are worried.

My advice? Do not do this. Humans really need social contact in order to function properly.

>>11117934
hey friend, get advice from wherever you like, as long as it helps you. glad you feel better

>>11117889
what do you usually like to write or draw? I like to go to parks and force myself to draw the first thing that I see. has ended up being a leaf, a crack in a sidewalk, a rusted penny, etc. Or go through the alphabet, draw the first thing you see in the park that starts with "A", etc

>>11117855
if you can study without internet, I used to go to a park that was 30 minutes away from anywhere with internet and studied there. without a phone or computer of course.

>>11116995
Don't know what tinnitus is like but it sounds really annoying and distracting. What kind of music and writing do you do? Have you tried maybe editing some old pieces? Sometimes makes me feel a little more productive and it's easier than coming up with something new

>>11116296
I'm sorry anon. When it happened to me I felt really worthless and unnecessary. What do you want to write?

>>11116202
Same. For some reason even when I was in c ollege I would be terrified of ordering in a bar, or telling a girl that she dropped something for fear of being thought of as a stalker or something. And I would freeze up when talking to pretty girls too. Ridiculous.

Went on the date mentioned here >>11116202. I was nervous the entire drive to meet her but once we met I was able to act pretty normal, with the exception of having an appetite. I essentially nibbled my food and couldn't eat more than a few bites but I don't know how much she noticed because we both had a few drinks and spent the whole time talking. She doesn't have good taste in books or film or music, but that really doesn't matter I don't think. She didn't cringe or look mad when I joked around about certain topics. I even did an impersonation of a Salvadoran/Guatemalan day laborer and she laughed at the accent I did, even though it was pretty racist. We didn't kiss or embrace or anything at the end but it didn't feel very romantic in the parking lot so I don't think I did anything wrong by not attempting to. About an hour after we were done she texted me and said "Thanks for coming to see me :)", as I had driven much farther to see her than she had driven. I texted back "I hope we can do something again soon :)".

Then, however, because I have some kind of fucking weird hang up about being nervous, I sent another text immediately after, saying, to paraphrase, "I know I probably seemed a bit nervous, but that's because I was legitimately excited about seeing you." In the moment I wrote it I thought, because I'm retarded, "oh, this is sweet and a bit self-depreciating." But immediately after sending it I remembered that girls hate self-depreciation and by admitting I was nervous I made myself look weak. Hopefully it's nothing and she won't even think about it too much, but I really gotta stop doing stuff like that. It's like I feel I need to expose my flaws immediately so women don't think I'm hiding anything from them.

>>11118166
Update: she texted back saying "awh I was a little nervous too :)".

I'm gonna never mention it again and just try to act cool from here on out. Anyway, thanks for reading my diary, fellas.

I don't have the energy to be religious even though that is my only hope against nihilism, which I despise and yet am inclined towards.

>>11118067

It's relevant enough, thanks

>>11118211
Girls do not hate self deprecation if it’s done a bit tongue and cheek, but if you mean it, and they sense that you mean it, then it’s a turnoff.

Over the past couple of years, I've been noticing a renewed interest in physiognomy. Maybe /pol/'s had some influence after all.

I learned the hard way that love is basically meaningless in a relationship, women just want to have sex with you for a couple of days, before moving on to the next guy. I adapted a similar point-of-view, and it was because of this that I lost my virginity years ago. I fully understand what being with a girl feels like, what sex feels like, what a good time feels like...but the last three years it felt different. It became so much of a routine that it's kind of a drug at this point. Work as a bartender, get a girls number, go to her place, drink, sneed and feed, repeat. At no point during all of this I would ever grow some feelings for the girl I'd be with, no matter how cute, innocent, or lovely she might seem at first glance. It's what I learned, and it's the product of being ''too loving''

My clients can vary, from a guy who invites the girl next to him a drink to the guy who got his heart broken by his girl. These type of clients foolishly think that alcohol will ''fill the void in their heart'', as if it was some sort of empty vessel that required to be shiny constantly. I see it as an engine, one that requires cleaning, maintenance, and above all, true happiness in order to make one ''A true, loving, human being''. I used to think it wasn't like this, and that hanging around with more women would increase my chances of finding the one to ''fill the void'', yet my inability to feel affected by their company led me to believe that my heart was simply...gone. I felt truly dead for the time being, believing that there nothing. My motivations are yet to be finished, my main goal in life is yet to be reachable, and from that, I have no doubt about it...but I found nothing else to do in life for the time being.

So there I was, after college I was doing my work shift, satisfying my body and my mind with the idea that ''Hard work pays off'', and ''Studying is only required for work''. Weirdly, I have a bad habit when it comes down to remembering names

[1/2]

>>11118351
>women just want to have sex with you for a couple of days, before moving on to the next guy.
no, this is you. Take a moment of introspection and realize that you were either confused with what sort of relationship it would be from the start, or that you are deeply flawed and she doesn't want anything to do with a loser.

>>11118351

That day, I remember having an English Translator Module Exam late afternoon. I finished the exams as quickly as possible and immediately left for work, 8 minutes walking from campus. I got my black clothes on, prepared my mise-en-place (lemon juice, clean vessels, cold beers, the usual stuff for serving drinks), and moments later the bar opened. As per usual, my workplace would be quiet until about an hour later, where the money would start rolling in. Another hour passed, and the quiet mood returned. Surprisingly enough, it stayed like that for quite some time, the place was mostly quiet for about 3 to 4 hours if I remember correctly. It's quite a big place, and rare are the times where I focus on anything else but the bar table, but on this night the place was rather silent, and my workplace was rather empty. I decided to clean some of my glasses while the clients arrived when a familiar figure entered the cantine and sit on the barstool

She greeted me, I asked the usual. Then, she smiled at me and simply asked for a Margarita. I'm familiar with girls smiling at me, so I simply rolled with it and prepared the drink. Tequila, Jimador, lemon juice, ice, blend it together and there it was, I added a mixer, a lemon ring decoration, a straw, and finally gave it to her. Then I remembered, her name was Dulce, she was the girl sitting in front of me earlier that day. I thought to myself, ''we haven't talked that much, maybe something will spark out of this encounter'', but just as I was about to start a conversation, she pulled off her notebook and started asking me about...well, the exam, for the most part. I told her that ''If you want help, I can give you the answers for tomorrows exam''. She simply agreed, wrote a couple of stuff, and left the canteen.

After that, my job kept going as per usual for the night time

>>11118360
let me finish anon

I wanna write a book, "When Archetypes collide: A psychological investigation into early 21st century"

But I haven't even started the first chapter

>>11118558
get started then

>>11118471

The following day wasn't much different than the last day, except that this time, I wrote a couple of notes in my notebook, that would greatly help for today's Socioeconomic Mexican Structure Exam. This time, however, I purposely left the notes on Dulce's seat as I left my seat and delivered the exam. But then, something happened, something I thought would never happen to me. This isn't the first time I've done something similar to this, but she...simply smiled to me, like no one has ever done it before. It got me thinking heavily about what just happened, and what she was trying to say with that smile, so I left for work and tried not to think about it...

And yet it has been months since that incident, we've met-up in numerous occasions, and yet I feel more perplexed than I've never been. I calm my mind with studying and my body with working, but her company is just something I can't comprehend, paradoxical considering my previous experience with girls. Sure, one may think, ''You solved her exam, now she wants to pay you back by having sex with her'', yet this is very far from reality. And I know this, because I've been with lots, LOTS of women in the past...but no one like Dulce. She's not particularly attractive, her body is rather average (a little thinner than most girls I've been with), but somehow, I not only like being with her. I enjoy walking by her side

That's when it hit me. The empty space that was inside of me, was not truly empty all this time. The love-machine inside me started from the moment she smiled at me. This is a feeling I've been trying to avoid for years, but now...I think it's too late for that. Today we went to her place, we watched a movie, we snuggled in her couch...but that's it. No sex, no kissing, no drinks...she hugged me like no one has done in years

She has developed feelings towards me, and somehow, what I once considered impossible became real. I, at last, experienced love for the first time in years...

>>11118564
you said this would only be two posts. not reading this one.

>>11118333
wtf is this true

So yeah, that's on my mind. After denying myself the fact that I'm capable of loving someone else, I fell in love with Dulce. And I'll tell her all about it, tomorrow

>>11118568
You made me reply, and I reached the word limit, so FUCK YOU

philosophy discord

https://discord.gg/u3QGV7S

>>11117791
>>11117786
recognizing faith is actually a choice is very distinct from "lying to yourself".

>>11118587
>anon is actually Hard Gay and won't know it until Dulce turns him down

10/10 would read

>>11118593
meant to tag >>11117775 instead of the second post I tagged

>>11118564
aww, okay you got me to read it. there is a girl i really like in one of music classes. ive liked her for awhile but have been to afraid to talk to her. i notice she looks and smiles at me a lot, but even with all that ive for the most part been too afraid of speaking to her. im a very nervous and awkward person so im just afraid of embarrassing myself/scaring her away. ive tried avoiding her and trying to convince myself to not like her, but i cant do it. there is something about her i cant quite place. you convinced me to just force myself to do it, because it has the potential to be worthwhile. thanks anon, glad to here youre doing good

Let me die ffs

>>11118615
sorry for all the typos, i wrote that kinda quickly

>>11113402
27 and single, starting to believe i’ll die alone. Weirdly I want children one day, which makes this all the sadder.

>>11113402
This board tugs on negative aspects of myself

I enjoy listening to music, I enjoy reading books,
What else am I going to do? With my time, therefore?

Competition works in physical sport, but in literature or music, it has no place.

Intellectual competition is stupid. Intellectual discussion is perfectly agreeable. What is the difference? The first is not interested in learning anything about life, it just wants to assert its own position like a dog pissing on a hydrant. The second sees life as infinitely interesting and enjoys perspectives that are different from its own as a means to paint a more complex and panoramic picture of existence

>>11118631
You want children even though you're clearly depressed
What kind of fucked up monstrosity of a non-human are you

>>11118615
It's quite easy, you know

>Catch her after class
>Ask her, ''Hey, did you make [insert music class homework]''
>Conversate

Usually when dating women, I avoid silly questions like, ''What are your preferences, what's your favorite color, what movies do you like'', anything like that in the first conversation (unless it's a date). Did you befriend her? Date, anon. Did you date? Go outside, take her to the movies, the end goal is to take her to your place or to her place. But let me tell you something: once you two kiss, and after you've had sex, analyze (no pun intended) her body language. Ignore all the hormones, does she genuinely feel good when she's with you? Confess your feelings if all of your body tells you ''Yes''

Remember, there are no mistakes, only happy little accidents
Also, please use condoms to avoid any kind of accident

If it were actually possible to indulge my various paraphilias I would probably be among the most filthy disgusting hedonists ever to walk the earth, as well as a tyrant and a monster. But without them I don't seem to have a sexuality at all. I don't think sex is wrong, but aspects of my fantasies obviously seem wrong. But actual sex is impossible for me for various reasons. All of this is at odds with my spiritual life, but my rational brain won't let me hang up something I can't account for rationally as evil.

/biz/ has to be the stupidest yet funniest corners of the internet

>>11117775
The only thing you can truly be certain of in this world is that you yourself exist in some way. It is the only axiom that is infallible. Every other axiom is taken on with belief. Let God be the very next axiom past yourself's you, and let Him show you the world.

Is quoted anon still alive?

>>11118682
>What are your preferences, what's your favorite color, what movies do you like
Not him, but I really don't understand what sorts of questions I would ask, then. Like, about her family and shit?

>>11118678
I’m not depressed. I’m sad that i’m single. Learn how to read you retarded faggot

i love this man

>>11118842
>Christ's loincloth like the Pope's underpants hides the syphilis of your disgusting saint
Who's this?

>>11118872
pablo de rokha
>the syphilis of your disgusting saint
that actually translates as "the disgusting syphilis of His Holiness" or "the syphilis of His disgusting Holiness" (the latter is probably closer to what he meant)
also why did you censor "nazifascista"?

>>11113402
My whole life, I've been a chronic overthinker and overanalyser which probably stems from undiagnosed aspergers or something along those lines. In light of recent events, I've been trying really hard to not overthink and spiral into crippling myself with anxiety. Also recently, my depression (diagnosed; I'm not a poser) has been pretty good.

It's just so hard to keep myself from going back into those mental states because it's how I've been thinking for years and years.

Any tips on how to clear my mind or learn to "think differently" than I have been? My current action plan is to just keep saying to myself "stop overthinking" so that I don't have room in my mind to overthink

>>11118937
>diagnosed
please kill yourself

>>11113817
Very nice, Anon. That brightened up my day a little. Thanks

>>11118937
>Any tips on how to clear my mind or learn to "think differently" than I have been?
Sell your pc and your phone and detach yourself completely from the internet

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how to develop myself as a person. With that in mind I've set apart this coming summer as a time to do so. I'll be working a few hours everyday as to pay a modest rent and for food. I plan to exercise and eat simple, mostly healthy meals. I figure this is probably just a good place to start and I could bear to lose a few pounds. In addition to this I plan to catch up on some essential reading, mainly philosophy. I'm particularly interested in Nietzsche, as well as the study of aesthetics. I'm interested by the cultivation of personal aesthetics, especially in the organization and appearance of one's self and surroundings. I feel as though such an amount of personal discipline and control may be fulfilling or otherwise constructive.

Thoughts? Recommended readings or resources? Experiences?

>>11118981
Skip Nietzsche. Read the Stoics.

>>11113402
i think my brother beats his wife and I dont know what to do and i guess his wife dont either

I really hate the term "lowkey". It's annoying enough as a synonym for "unknown" or "overlooked", but people use it seemingly at random. The other day one of my coworkers said that my other coworker's outfit was "lowkey" great. What the fuck does that even mean you dumb bitch

>>11119001
I would preface Nietzsche with the stoics, Seneca's "On the Shortness of Life," wherein he describes the affluent homes replete with personal libraries and not one book upon the owner's shelves being read to completion, and Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations," for his thoughts on the responsibility of the statesman, the father, the man. Also, Nietzsche admired Buddhism, equating it not so much with religion as with a system of personal hygiene, so books like the Dhammapada or the Tao Te Ching could prove fruitful. "The Analects," of Confucius also contain insightful, often witty anecdotes of not only Confucius and his followers but other prominent people of the time. These are all brief, highly readable texts, entertaining and enlightening. I found Nietzsche very engaging, and his work very similar to these others, though his writing is imbued with more egotistical critiques, which I don't object to, I think people are put off by it.

>>11119131
Why are you proposing to read all that only to complement or preface a work as insignificant as Nietzsche's?
I agree with all your recs except what what I just mentioned.
Nietzsche completely misunderstood Buddhism. Not his fault, as Buddhist philosophy was severely misunderstood by the Western audience until not long ago, but still something to be wary of (specially if you are truly into Buddhist philosophy, you'll see common misinterpretations of concepts such as anatman and dukkha in Nietzsche's work).
The Tao Te Ching is not a Buddhist work.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: avoid wasting time in Nietzsche when you can access much better works such as what was mentioned in your post.

I'll never find a nice woke/ yogic Greek man

My Dad recommended a book to me last night when I visited him and it sounded pretty interesting and now I can't remember the title.

>>11118941
>diagnosed
>please kill yourself
>undiagnosed
>please kill yourself
No winning

>>11118948
I only browse 4chan on my bus into uni, that's about it. I avoid social medias and stuff than can get me down easily. I just want to stop being obsessive and comulsive about everything

>>11119151
A person can read for their entire lives.
Collectively the titles I mentioned constitute probably 300 pages. Not exactly a graduate course worth of material. Whether or not Nietzsche understood the complexities of Buddhist doctrine didn't stop him from mentioning it in his writing. If Anon is interested in reading Nietzsche, and asking for other recommendations, I won't discourage their intellectual pursuits and offer a few suggestions on how to perhaps make the most of time getting there. Given Nietzsche's influence on modern literature, from Ayn Rand to Charlie Kaufman to Jim Morrison and Mitchell and Webb, I think it's hardly fair to dismiss him as, "insignificant."

>>11119090
That's a tough one, anon. Are you bigger than him?

>>11119094
Doesn't it means something like "his outfit looks great, in a subtle/discreet way"? You're gonna be ok friend

>>11119090
this a bad situation.
first, you can't be sure at the moment, and police can't do anything with "i think"
second, bringing up charges against him is super dangerous if the woman isn't taken out of the situation first
third, his wife could have codependency issues. not all abused women want to be saved.

my suggestion is to get her alone and talk to her about it. ask her if she's okay, offer her your space (if you ever need a place to crash, etc).

>>11119315
i am

>>11113664
Why is the formatting so bad? Can't use new line from time to time.

>>11113402
This. I think I'll take four pynch and question 2

>>11118105
your post is as generic as 4chan arguments

>>11119355
Well if you're sure he's doing it you should confront him then. Maybe try to explain that beating your wife is really a low-life, stupid thing to say. He's your brother he can understand you're saying this for his own good. And if he gets aggressive you can always overpower him. From my experience violence is often convincing to violent people (but he might also get back at his wife when you're gone, so I don't really know wtf I'm talking about)

i don't know what to do with my life other than read, watch videos, and listen to music

>>11119254
The normal thing to do would be to ask him. don't go full autism

>>11119696
is there anything you like outside of that? are you really really into one of those you mentioned? try to work on that and get some ambitions man

>>11119696
Make videos, make music, write.

>>11119094
Bet you wish she called *your* outfit lowkey great, eh

>>11119094
You put the full stops and commas within the speech marks, cuck-o. What the fuck do you think they're doing outside of the quotation marks, "you dumb bitch."

i don't know i just can't think of anything other than i am at my lowest and if i don't take the opportunity i will never will. i am suffering from bacterial disease since nine and somehow lately i started thinking how i have little to lose anymore. my feet hurts my legs ache as i walk but yet oddly being suicidal gave me the thought of trying things that i don't usually do. fear was really my greatest enemy. my chest goes heavy and the fail gracefully mentality that i've been trying to go with these days makes me feel odd and peculiar. i just don't know.

>>11117869

That’s exactly what I meant. Lurk more and one day you might reach the levels of my faggotry.

I'm so lonely last night I dreamed about going to the cinema with some friends. That's it, that's all that happened.

Reading is just a hipster, pretentious alternative to other mainstream hobbies like tv and videogames.

Do you guys think that practicing traditional writing is helpful for more modern mediums like screen writing or story writing for video games? Personally, I'd like to be a writer for video games as I feel that experiencing the story in an interactive way really increases the experience.

I really wish they would stop placing metallic covers for toilet paper and towels in the public bathrooms of the hospital. Those things are always empty. Checking them for paper is cumbersome, and always in vain. Ive even asked the cleaning ladies, in many of the occasions when Im forced to use these bathrooms, about getting toilet paper straight from the storage room.
They always say that the hospital doesnt place paper in the bathrooms in purpose. I assume it's because they got bored of people abusing availability, what a motto for a hospital. We give until you annoy us. Luckily this time my guts were ringing fake alarms. I had no need for paper, but here's the catch. I still checked the metal covers and asked for paper and even thought of washing my butt afterwards on the sink. My guts didnt take that shit because of the hassle it'd cause, discreet and patient guts, they would make the hospital staff smile in tranquility.

>>11120141
>reading and learning from the most influential works in literature, history, politics, etc is the same as consuming mindless capeshit

I don’t understand how my personality has changed so much from childhood to adulthood. I was very logic focused when I was young, would excel in math and science but think art was useless. Now I have almost switched entirely; writing and looking at art but am trash at math these days and have little interest in science now.

>>11119272
Fair enough.
I still feel it's a waste to read his works given the original anon's goals. Much more can be learnt by reading and studying all the other books and philosophies mentioned.
>given Nietzsche's influence on modern literature
The anon wasn't looking to understand modern literature or its influences. Unless I'm understanding what he said wrong, he wants something pragmatic.

Meditation gives me the ability to think.

Tradition gives me thoughts worth thinking.

I briefly am able to rise above the chaos of modern life and breath, but who knows how long that will last before I am drowning again.

Drowning in equal parts the pleasure and nuisance of modern life without knowing if there is a way up ever again.

>>11120252
>>11119272
Great insights, thank you both. I was already planning on reading the Stoics, among others, before getting to Nietzsche as I feel I need to spend some more time reading through the Western canon. I've read some of the Tao as well as The Analects but need to revisit them thoroughly, so I'll add those to my list, as well as the bhagavad gita. Any other recommendations are welcome. Any experience with A History of Philosophy in the West by Betrand Russel? A friend of mine read it as a companion to the texts he was studying and I was considering doing the same.

I feel like being in a dull state at the moment. My exams are coming up next week and when I try to study for one of the hard subjects, I tend to back down from it because I realise how hard it is. I’ve been promising myself again and again to go study, but, everytime I will do something else. Like today: I studied for like an hour, then went to go online to look for a fun video game to play, only to find out I’m tired of playing video games. I don’t enjoy them as much as I used to. This is why I’m looking for other hobbies. I already do lifting 4 times a week, and I really enjoy it. Reading has become one of my newer interests, too. And, maybe, some writing will help. Like this paragraph I’m writing, right now. I’m actually enjoying writing this, can you imagine?

I’m also feeling a lot of pressure from which course I have to study. I don’t know what the fuck I want to study at all. Soon I’ll be looking into a few associate degrees, like business. If I won’t study next year of school, then I’ll be working a fulltime job the whole year, while I will keep searching for a course to study. Maybe, I’d like to become a teacher. I’m from the Netherlands, so I’d like to teach my own native language, mostly because I liked to read books for the subject and because I was good at it. Writing essays wasn’t really much of a problem to me too.

I like the outdoors. If I’ve got spare time I’ll visit my local forest and do a bit of hiking there. The Netherlands is a shitty country to go outdoors, so I guess I’ll have to go camping in my neighbouring countries in the future. But, for the meantime, a little day of exploring my local forest and collecting mushrooms and stuff will have to do.

Im frustrated that there is a girl in work I really like and she always smiles at me/waves at me and sits close to me at lunch. But I can't initiate a convo on account of her having LITTLE TO NO FUCKING ENGLISH.

Anyone can do what nobody else can do, but nobody can do what anyone else can do.

>>11113402
Intellectual property rights.

>>11113402
It's so cold, like that chicken I bought yesterday, lifeless piece of meat. But its my grandmas leg, still attached to her, part of a human being. But it feels dead, bad blood flow, part of getting old, inevitability of life. Her eyes still open, still looking around, more and more detached everyday, empty like a newborns, on a wrinkly excuse of a human. I hate touching it, feet became a bloody mess, nails hurting toes, cold blood on my hands must change patch. Expression of physical pain twists her sour face, the only emotion left to her, judges me, im really doing best I can. What for, so when she evenrtually dies, we can pat our backs and say we did everything to acomodate her? So we can have a couple of weeks of her agony to witness. "If we put her in a senior home she will be dead within weeks, I saw that on tv!". She would thank us for it, if it was true. Time to change her diaper.

>>11113402
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdtLCfEcPL4

I am literally human trash who hasn't work for a single time and now a leech to my cousin. I always say that it is not my fault but deep down I know how trash I am as a person. A lazy six-fingered trash like me shouldn't exist but I can't find the bravery to tie a noose. Fuck me for being a coward and I hate myself more than I hate my degenerate habits.

>>11113402
Und auf diesem Wege begegnete ihm ein gar garstiger Geselle dessen Fratze nicht mehr als Unglück und Trost aussagte so hatte er gerade mit einem Biest geringen und tat damit nicht mehr als seine Pflicht vor den Menschen wie sein Vater und seines Vaters Vater brach er auf dem Wege zusammen und erreichte wie diese vor ihm eine weitere Instanz auf diesem ewigen Wege bis zu jener erlösender Schlucht, Meter um Meter, Fuß um Fuß und Zahn um Zahn krochen sie alle röchelnd und dem Tode nie näher weiter als ihre Väter von nicht mehr getrieben als dem Willen um die Familie und der Angst sich von jeder Schuld nicht mehr getan zu haben los zu tun. Nie war es viel, doch immer weiter türmte sich diese Welle der Angst und Verzweiflung auf bis sie eines Tages jenem letzten Menschen die Möglichkeit der Wahl nehmen würde und zugleich die Welt dann überschwemmt ward von diesen und jenen eines Blutes, dieses Blutes der Angst welches die Menschheit dieset Inseln zugrunde richten sollte und trotz einer Natur Gottes nicht mehr ausrichten sollte als das Ende herbeizuführen, denn niemand von ihnen war frei – von Angst – und so dachte niemand und niemand erkannte diese Manie – Unfähig sie zu stoppen sehen sich die letzten Menschen damit vertraut nicht mehr zu fürchten und nicht mehr zu zadern so waren sie bereits gerichtet von ihresgleichen und doch freier als sie im Angesicht des Endes. Wahre sie doch die anderen letzten Menschen von der keine Rolle sprach und doch alle wussten, so war es nie sicher ob sich die Menschen mehrheitlich selbst überwinden würden.

Money mostly. I need to buy more books but at the same time I really like the idea of having Hifiman X Edition headphones.

i want to make music. I actually have a decent voice. I can sing along with the songs without breaking my voice. I'm just too fucking shy.

Shyness is a curse goddamn it

the whole and the part form a circle. i think this is nice. the whole doesn't overdetermine the parts, but is itself constituted by the parts. in turn, the parts, lacking context, do not exhaust all meaning in themselves but are related back to the whole. the reason this is nice is because it gives room for both text and context. really neat, imo

Haze is on my mind, disorder and weak thoughts, washing in and out and over me and then disappearing, not even really as thoughts, more as vague sounds, impressions.

>>11120425
If you haven't read Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther," you may want to, it had a rather dramatic effect on literature and Goethe is one of Nietzsche's few cultural heroes.

>>11121630
schwul

I try to avoid inhaling chemicals, perfumes and artificial scents in fear that they would cause disfigurements in my appearance or internal health problems. I’m appalled at the smell of things as seemingly insignificant as cologne and will grow agitated when exposed to them. Also, I try to avoid physical contact with certain plastics, rubbers and cloths. If I have no choice but to touch them, I will wash my hands with hot water, but avoid using soaps because they are often scented. Some things I deem as okay to touch, such as plastic cups, chargers for electronics, computer keyboards and other things. I have no problem with materials naturally occurring in nature like dirt, branches, rocks, and plants. When I feel like I have spent too much time around the smells I consider hazardous, I will go outdoors and take large breaths of fresh air, making up for the inhilation of those “toxic fumes”. I become frustrated on my walks when I have to avoid the hot smoke released from cars, the recently paved section of street or driveway, the pesticide sprayed on someone’s lawn, etc.

Today I performed a piece I've been working on for the last 6 months. I began to shake violently. I could not hold the strings down and I lost balance because of how shakey my legs were. I ended just walking off the stage after I completed the first measure. I feel like shit. The worst part is I have the piece down perfectly, it's just anxiety got in the way and now all I have to show for my work is a lousy performance.

>>11113402
Idiots removed the thread on /lit/ shitposters

I'm too stupid to figure out if the title 'Ghost With the Most' should have a capital W or T or both.

>>11119442
If he's getting back at his wife afterwards, you haven't attacked him properly. What you've done is to attack him from emotions, you've taken a moment of pleasure in violence and not used that violence as a tool. In order for a violent man to become docile you need to couple trauma with an ongoing perception of threat. If you can overpower him you can torture him or possible kill him, but being in jail afterwards is not going to help create an ongoing perception of a threat. This is why the superior man doesn't need to be bigger with violent men. He takes pleasure in modifying the behaviours of others, especially when they are violent people who only respond violence.
---
Fucking people still think all those torture scenes in the Oughts were to do with the war and not with everyday problems. They always sound like liberals trying to deal with their need to use violence to promote harmony. Prune your trees, mow your yard, shush your kids, and break up fights when they happen and deal with them so they have less chance of happening again. It's not that fucking hard unless you think using violence makes you lesser of a person, a psychopath perhaps.

>>11122095
If the performance is part of the work then you've never had the piece down yet. Just as athletes do better by visualising their performance, musicians can also utilise this technique to harness the anxiety. Harnessing the anxiety by visualising the performance beforehand so that you have to be conscious of evaluating the outcome during the performance helps you engage attention. Pre-loaded the outcome you desire from the performance so that your brain isn't evaluating what the outcome will be during the performance. It takes a lot of meditative practice, but a lot of sports psychologists seem to agree about its effectiveness. Give it a try.

Despite being a den of neurotic autists, 4chan is a comfy place and I'm glad it exists. I'm quiet lonely in my life, and the time I spend shitposting with you guys makes my days a little better.
<3

>>11122200
These digits don't lie, that thread wasn't mean to die

>>11121346
Don't exist :^)

>>11122251
What is it a title of? A written piece would be Ghost with the Most, but I think songs are always all capitalized, maybe a few other things too.

>>11122549
I love you too

>>11122558
It's a written piece. That's what I thought. Thanks, anon.

>>11121811
Any tips for Schopenhauer? I think I may want to understand some of him before Nietzsche.

I have an intense interest in abstract and intellectual subject matter but I'm also an utter brainlet. Worse yet is that all of my family are incredibly intelligent except myself; I introduced my little brother to programming recently and he has already surpassed me, understanding concepts in the half the time it took me to grasp them. I wonder if I was dropped as a infant?

>>11122886
Wow are you me?

I've been depressed so long that I become suspicious whenever I find myself not feeling sad.
Is there hope for me if I've been like this since I was a literal child (12)?[/spoierl]

>>11113402
I have a lazy eye so glasses never really worked for me. as it turns out this type of lazy eye is more a brain-eye connection issue rather than a structural issue. thats why glasses will never really work the way they work for people with normal vision problems. but recently i bought the strongest reading glasses i could find, and i can actually read with my lazy eye because the letters are made big enough. so i popped out the lens i don't need and started reading. well it really makes the page pop. i feel like im looking at a 3d page almost, and it's made reading a lot easier. I assume i am experiencing a more proper perception of depth...but not only that, reading doesn't seem to be as mentally draining. Perhaps it wasn't mental, but a physical drain on my eyes... so im reading more, and it feels pretty good. I can easily read for 30-60 minute sittings, sometimes twice per day now.

>>11122886
t. 118 IQ midwit

>>11113402
There's a girl in the class. Her name is Amy. She's really nice, and seems like the shy and quiet type. For a long time I'd looked at her and thought that it would be really nice to talk to her, but I was afraid to do that. I sure would think it was weird if a total stranger wanted to strike up a conversation with me

But, today, in class, I spoke to her! I said, "Hi, Amy!" and she said, "Oh, hi!" She didn't seem bothered at all. It was a huge relief

And during break, I said more things to her. I asked her things like what she'd done today, her plans for the summer. I've asked people things like that dozens of times over the Internet, but it was totally different in real life. I liked it so much more

The best part is, when I ran out of small talk to make and took out my 3DS to play it, she said, "Oh, is that the 3DS?!" And she was excited about it!

I visit videogame websites frequently, so I rarely meet people who've never seen a 3DS before. I asked her if she liked video games, and she said that she did, but she didn't play them very much anymore because she was more busy these days. She said her favorite game was Super Smash Brothers Melee, and that she was anxious for the sequel

She kept on calling the Switch "NX". I wondered if she didn't know that it was named the switch, or if she just preferred to call it the "NX" instead. I told her that "Revolution" was just a codename while it was in development, and that "Switch " was the official name. She was so shocked! She said that it was a really stupid-sounding name. It was like a timewarp back to a month in the past when the name was announced and people made a big deal out of it. I didn't like the name, either, but I don't care anymore. But I really wanted to agree with her and for her to agree with me, so I pretended that the name bothered me, and we made fun of it for a while

Then she made a comment about Nintendo starting to "go down the drain", and then I hear this voice right next to my ear, And why do you say that

I recognized him by his voice alone, it was that annoying kid who always goes around making mean comments. -_- He saw me playing Fire Emblem and he made fun of my team. "Why didn't you level up your peg knights? You're pretty stupid." He's really annoying and has a LOT of acne. All he ever does is say mean things. I never see him hanging out with the others - I don't think he has many friends

And then he started arguing with Amy, because he was a rabid Nintendo fanboy and didn't want her dissing his system. I was so upset!! I was talking with her, and he totally interrupted ;_; I was jealous that Amy was now ignoring me and talking to another guy, and HIM of all guys. He didn't deserve to talk to her. They were just arguing, anyway. I wanted Amy to think of me in a special way, maybe something along the lines of the only guy in the class she can relate to with video games. But then she knew that there was another video game guy. And he was just a jerk

>>11122964
You’re just an old whore sticking your nose where it doesnt belong and stalking snd harassing someone, literally killing him, so you csn get your rocks off you worthless weak old bitch.

>>11122964
Wer reitet so spät durch Nacht und Wind?
Es ist der Vater mit seinem Kind;
Er hat den Knaben wohl in dem Arm,
Er faßt ihn sicher, er hält ihn warm.

>>11122964
>be amy
>creepo been staring at you for several classes
>works up the courage to talk and can only mutter hi
>stalker questions about the future
>respond by lying about everything
>can't even talk for more then five minutes without retreating into his video game
>he can't shut up about nintendo name
>politely laugh because you accidentally brought it up
>pizza face thinks its okay to talk now
>go home and cry self to sleep

I was going to make a post about my situation with a girl but I ended up deleting it because the mere act of writing it made me feel embarrased. I need to learn how to confront my feelings.

>>11123007
aye, me too!

>>11118575
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxwKibwHYEw

I made 0 friends in my classes. Everytime I go to class I feel really awkward, everyone seems to have a group to share things with but me. Granted, I have no one but myself to blame, but it sucks.

>>11122977
>>11123000
>>11123005
Is it creepy enough or do I need something more.

>>11123000
That's a beautiful poem

>>11123078
Join a social discord and learn to socialize

>>11123139
I used discord as a substitute for a social life for 2.5 years, I'm done with that.

>>11122916

i think kettlebells are sort of making my arms swole, not much, but like i usually do calisthenics only like include pushups, pullups, etc. but over the winter i got too lazy to workout outside in the cold so i bought a 45lb kettlebell and toss it around a couple times a week, its only the weight of one plate so im like theres no way its gonna make a difference, but now that its summer and im walking around in short sleeves my arms do seem slightly bigger, the bad thing tho is i am objectively in worse shape, as my cardio is weak and my abs are soft

I'm a fucking massive pseudointellectual. I have all of these ideals that I like to think I value greatly but in the end I'm a hypocrite who never follows through on them.
The worst instance of this is how I love to think of myself as unique and an individual yet I'm fucking awful at forming my own opinion on things and not being easily swayed into another camp with just a few words. I need the affirmation of others to do anything even if I put on a show in my head of being self-motivated.
Also, I'm terrible at evaluating writing/art/whatever on my own and I'm not sure if I even have a proper set of priorities that I value or look for in these things. I sometimes feel like I'm just wasting my time with this shit.
Basically, I fucking hate myself.

>>11122916
good for you anon! I'm glad you found a solution.

I absolutely love this line. It's from I am Legend and to put it into context, he's in a survival situation and it's been a long time since he talked to anyone so he's trying to deal with his loneliness. I can't remember what the rhetorical figure is called but the repeated use of "he thought" is really well done.

>He brushed his teeth carefully and used dental floss. He tried to take good care of his teeth because he was his own dentist now. Some things could go to pot, but not his health, he thought. Then why don’t you stop pouring alcohol into yourself? he thought. Why don’t you shut the hell up? he thought.

>>11123603
So stop and evaluate a certain set of priorities and why you think you need them. Find all of what you need about yourself and explore a belief and then shut the fuck up about your feelings that negative for the sake of being negative. The opposite of hating yourself isn't always loving everything about yourself dumbass. Work towards understand, know thyself, and treat yourself kindly so that you actually improve in your understanding of yourself more and more.
---
Fucking /lit/tles and your New York style turning tests where you find out if you have authenticity of not. Bunch of fucking proto-yuppies that are too up their own asses to be seen to give a damn about anything. They're all just waiting around for the day when they're famous and can have their publicist inform them of how to invest themselves into one issue that they can actually make a change in rather than coming across as a shallow SJW larper. Then they'll get someone to help them develop their hand muscles for live feed of some circle jerk. Fuck NY and fuck your sincerity games.

>>11122916
good for you anon! I'm glad you found a solution.
but I'd still go to a doctor.
I mean, if you don't live in the states, obvie.

fuck, now I'm realizing that one of the major edits I made actually ruins a plot twist by making it fucking unbelievable

FUCK!

I want to quit!

If I dont actually expect anyone to read it why would I post it

>>11123763
I'll read it, Anon.

You ever hear a song that will never be heard more than 1000 times and think this band is so talented they should be a household name? There are millions.

>>11123786
Thanks man

>>11123763
if you don't actually expect anyone to read it, why WOULDN'T you post it?
Isn't that better? pleasantly surprised instead of massively disappointed. also, less people will make fun of you.

Better than me. I'm having stupid flights of fancy that'll never happen and oh boy, I'm going to cry about it later.

>>11123792
My favourite song has 73 views on youtube and I'm probably 50 of them

>>11123858
post it

>>11113643
Fellow islander here, care to meet up?
Born native here, ended up despising everything about my birthplace

I feel like my lack of hardship in life has fucked me over now that I’m at the age where I should be starting to establish myself in the world. I never played competitive sports, never had to try very hard in school to get decent grades, never had family troubles, but now it seems like I don’t know how to overcome adversity. Nearly every day I think about joining the military (probably the Marines since they look like the most physically demanding branch) just so I can be forced to learn discipline, overcoming hardship, and working towards a goal. But then again, will the values stick once I get out, or will I slide right back into my mediocre existence?

I tried to run away from a person, but couldn't escape my emotions. I made many people sad and am far from home which I was fortunate to learn was not a place after all. Now I'm in flyover-ville.
Minneapolis is such a shithole, a city only when compared to the surrounding desolation. A nightmare of suburban sprawl vivisected by highway and inhabited by somalians and midwestern children aping civilisation.
I wish i didn't know how to swim or I'd jump into the nearest lake and sink below the polluted waters and maybe find peace, at least after a time.

>>11123997
Air force bro, and it will stick with you if you don't wash out.

life is like a constant walk where stopping means death
some people reach the paths natural end, others trip, a few are stopped by outside forces
but im just tired of walking, i want to sit down, and rest

"Please love me the way I love you." It was more of a prayer than a pleading thought in her mind. He had been gone a month, drudging through his own issues. She understood, and she waited patiently, but lately she became concerned. He seemingly shrunk inside himself, no longer to be even touched in conversation. She wanted him to be the one. She wanted her visions fulfilled. She wanted the twins. She wanted chicken soup at 80. She wanted him.

>>11124268
twins are mad creepy tho

I can literally not stop getting dubs

>>11124303
I'm supposed to have two girls, either close in age or twins, and a boy. Just from what I saw.

>>11124399
>I'm supposed to have two girls, either close in age or twins
so you can feel like every day is the shining? no thanks

>>11113402
I fucked up and now she's gone forever. I was her only friend in the whole world and I abandoned her. What is wrong with me?

>>11124429
No, I was overwhelmingly happy whenever I "came to" so to speak after I saw my girls. I had an inexplicable feeling of pride of them. Real apple of my eye kind of talk.

>>11124445
How long has it been, and what did you do? I'd suggest un-abandoning her because that feeling is gonna haunt you forever

>>11123631
>he thought
>he thought
>he thought

glad i never read that hack

>>11124776
About two days. We're just online friends so I might be overreacting. Although, she did delete the account she primarily used to speak with me. I sent an apology through a different website but I don't think she uses that one anymore.
She was kind of being a cunt but I overreacted due to the stress caused by failing several of my finals (Still in good academic standing though) I just straight up told her "I don't need this anymore, goodbye." And unfriended her but not before I deleted every picture I ever sent to her and every picture I had saved that she sent to me. She ships off to Basic next month so I'm probably never going to hear from her again.

>>11122886
I can relate somewhat to what you're saying. Why do you judge yourself to be a brainlet? My perception of my intelligence fluctuates a lot to the point where I can go from feeling dumber to smarter than most around me in the span of hours. I've come to the conclusion that in reality I am probably of about average (in relation to my peers) intelligence but with an almost hyper sense of self-awareness. I see the latter as a positive thing, but it's not the same as intelligence although it's often confused with it.
If you have an interest in abstract and intellectual subjects you might not necessarily be intelligent, but you have something at least. You're definitely not dumb. Find where your strengths lay and build on them.

>>11113402
I can't bring it within myself to truthfully open up to anyone.
WheneverI begin saying something, I always hold myself back, in fear of some vague sense of rejection. This behaviour will not benefit in my personal development, but I can't help but to fall back into this old habit.

A few nights ago, I spontaneously called a long-time friend of mine - I started to ramble and monologue about my own thoughts and issues, to which she suprisingly sat and listened to with compassion.
I had doubts that gnawed away at me - doubts that she had managed to help me clear out. On that night, after that call, I cried for the first time in 5 years.

Despite that, there were still many things I held back. It is 1:50 am currently, I should be sleeping to prepare for school tomorrow, but I continue to stay awake in the hopes that I will never have to wake up to the misery of tomorrow.
I've closed myself in too much, I fear what my peers will think of me when I am laid bare. And if I call out from the bottom of my heart, only for no one to come, what then?
That might be my fear.

Oh dear.

Another philosophy thread just got pruned, shame.

I've just been diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia eight years after I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome

I always thought I was lucky that it was just my social skills that had suffered and I always thought that it was my social skills that made me suffer academically for reasons like not being able to talk to teachers properly or not being able to communicate well with my peers, perhaps that was part of my initial troubles but not just that, but now I know that my troubles are caused by a weakness, a defunct part of me that instructs a inability, a learning difficulty a reason why I trip over my own feet and why sometimes I trip over my own words . Is it the reason why I simply stare at my screen brimmed with white light and only a portion of black blank words.

I almost brought myself to tears just trying to read the Wikipedia page on both dyspraxia and dyslexia, the words stuck out to me in some sort of sick relation of parts that I remember so hard that I honestly wish I didn't feel as if I had written those pages, as if they were a note sent back to myself to taunt me for something I had failed to do.

ironic

I'm tired, boss.
Tired of the mods and janitors not doing their jobs but instead just deleting whole threads

cesare della riviera

Why does everyone keep doing smalltalk when they're drunk? I was drunk with coworkers last night (we know eachother quite well) and the boring fuckers kept doing smalltalk, and me joking around or trying to introduce some actually serious personal topics (whether about them or me) and they just either brushed it off or ignored it.

What the fuck is wrong with people? Why do so many have to be so boring? When did everyone lose the will to have a personality on their own? Talking about which food place is the best, about clothes, about their schedule, about the weather, what the fuck?

Worst part is I become the asshole just because I'm completely disinterested in the boring whinings of 20 year old neurotic yuppies. Fuck sake.

Hmm, taking a step out of the bottle?

>>11125851
"Uninterested," anon. Not "disinterested."

>>11125881
Whoops.

English isn't a first language though.

What's one thing I can do right now that would make my life better?

>>11125941
Eagerly awaiting an answer to this that isn't "clean your room" already did

>>11125941
>>11125973
You can stop making your life worse

>>11125941
Running three to four times per week.

>>11126010
>cardio
It's like you don't even want your gains

>>11126019
boxers jog

>>11125941
1. make your bed a big nest
2. make yourself a big sweet cup of coffee or tea or whatever so long that it's hot.
3. sit in bed-nest
4. make a list of things you need to do tomorrow to fix any immediate issues (ie bills or some such)
5. buy yourself a stuffed animal. I suggest ones filled with lavender- it's super comfey.
6. I don't know. keep drinking your hot drink. Read if you want.

>>11125997

If I knew how to do that I'd have done it a long time ago

Hmmm.... I wonder what's the most painful way to kill oneself..

>>11126139
self-immolation. strychnine is supposed to be pretty far up there, too.
Rub yourself with the leaf of a gympie gympie tree, and then set yourself on fire.

>>11126137
It's not something you do, it's something you stop doing.

>If I knew how to do that I'd have done it a long time ago
This is just an excuse.
You don't have to know how to do anything, just stop doing shit that makes you not get any better.

Whatever l read l always romanticize it, when mccarthy describes condoms, sewage and the rancid meat bait in the beginning of suttree l just picture a dirty but tranquil river, and even though reading his description makes me sick l still think it would be nice to stare at the surface of the river where the sun hits it and the motes spiral in the light while you sail along by letting the current take you in a brokendown skiff for hours on end
Same with miller at the end of butchers crossing, hes a loser and you aren't supposed to idolise him but l can't help but see him as godlike in the mountains and at the end when he builds the fire
Then in blood meridian even though most of it is supposed to be horrific and terrifying l just see it as picturesque and calming, the stars rolling over the edge of the earth, the vast expanse of desert, solitary hawks and vultures, blue mountains on the horizon, shows of camaraderie between the group (albeit limited) and hospitality towards travellers (above the border mostly)
Theres other things that make it relaxing
>no constant descriptions of characters feelings
>no worry about having a set schedule to go to work
>no worry about social mobility (its just the kid, his horse, his companions and his revolver)
>live off the land until riding into the next town for a drink then shooting up the place and claiming receipts
>its always sunny
>comedic relief; killing the provinces own citizens and passing their scalps off as apache, almost every interaction between the judge and simpletons/various dimwitted members of the group, most interactions with mexicans/injinns
>southern hospitality
>no soppy romance
>no depressing family loss
>no annoying children (most of the way through)
>pleasant gunbattles to break up the monotony
>at one with the land, journeying across the plains

This is why l it feels like whenever l read something intentionally sentimental and romanticized, half the enjoyment is gone for me

>>11126123
this

>>11126123
What if you don't have any immediate issues and suffer more from feelings of loneliness and futility.

>>11126347
then skip number 4

>>11126329
Why the fuck are you using l instead of I?

>>11126351

>>11126351
two presses for capital I
only one press for l

>>11126662
That's like a .0000001 seconds difference unless you are extremely dumb.

>>11126351
oh shit how did you even figure that out?

>>11126689
I'm extremely intelligent.

>>11126695
For someone on the left of the distribution :^)

>>11126722

>>11126739
fuck that cat he ruined the entire show
fuck cait sith too

>>11126747
ehh... no he didn't?
"That Melancholy President ... / That Cool Hero ..." was a good epidose and the Cait Sith episode with Akari singing "zun taka poko ten zun taka pooon~ is cute as fuck.

>>11126787
his constant "NYAAA PYUUU NYAAAA" noises were annoying as fuck
and cait siths magic bullshit just didnt fit with the rest of the show

>>11126019
Gains are for fags. Cardio makes you think and improves cognitive health.

>>11126695
You're a big brain

Let's go touch some little boy's butts! - Marlowe

I DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE