/lit/ - Literature

>>11080387
Idk what i want to do with my life
I kinda want to become a rap degenerate
Rap about thots and money.

Fuck i'm so tired, yet i have so much work to do

I had a conversation with an old Finnish woman about death at work today. Kind of put some things in perspective

>>11080441
Did she take your virginity?
If not, you did not 'commerse' with a woman, as your soul still saw her as not a woman, which is the being of sexual desire.

>>11080415
make sure to get some really stupid tattoos.

I spend all day not working at my job, and yet I still come home much too tired to do any writing or editing. I keep telling myself "eh, writers block. It'll come back like a wave when you least expect it. Just cash those paychecks and wait for the ideas to roll in" but it's been over a month now... My GF will be finishing her degree soon and will move on to her career while I may have to forget my own fraud dreams and become a stay at home father. I feel like I've spent so much time in cubicles and air conditioned rooms, I can't imagine how people have lived their entire life this way. All I want to do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom in a boom boom.

>>11080387
Is concentration itself a mental faculty or can it only be considered properly "concentration" if it's deliberate, which would make it subject to reason? On the one hand, concentration is applicable to the senses as well as to abstract reflection, and to every faculty in between. On the other hand, one has to "choose" in the strictest sense on what one wishes to concentrate. But I can concentrate on something without keeping the idea of concentrating on this thing fixed in my mind, and in fact this disturbs my concentration if the object is e.g. intuitive. But is it simply that I'm so used to fixing the idea of a thing to concentrate upon that I do it without even noticing? Any books about this?

>>11080461
No I want my body to be in contrast of my art

I lack discipline and I probably realized this too late.

>>11080480
I think you have to deeply WANT to be doing what you're doing in order to truly concentrate on it

>>11080480
pseud

>>11080503
That's the side I would come down in if pressed, it makes the most sense that concentration isn't a faculty itself, but a part of reason, otherwise there would be no volition to maintain the concentration in the case of an appealing distraction. But when I am concentrating on something, and something else distracts me, I rarely think "this is a distraction that is disturbing my concentration," i.e. I don't make another choice to concentrate, rather I simply ignore any further stimulus arising from the something else and go back to what I was doing. This leads me to think concentration might actually be a union of the two most abstract faculties, feeling and reason, in the sense of making the feeling (the desire) subservient to a consciously chosen end.

I know lots of people have written about how to concentrate in various self help books, I'm curious if anyone has treated of what concentration actually is.

>>11080387
People rather judge blindly than trying to understand

not literature related

>>11080545
k

>>11080481
>art

>>11080387
I turn 23 tomorrow and have a bad back, acid reflux, and need $3200 worth of dental work (I do not have $3200).
Is it even worth going on at this point?

How the fuck do people do it? How do they get boyfriend and girlfriends or even fuckbuddies? I can make friends with people but when it comes to trying to get a romantic partner i get tense and just start thinking about either sex like a wild animal or married life like some some fucking weirdo. Fuck, i can't even ask for guidance in my family so i have to go at it alone

>>11080490
Run away and join the French Foreign Legion.

I am successfully escaping my NEET existence yet another part of me resents the part that wants to put in any effort and would be content just going on as I have been. I do not resent the judgement of others, I resent its possibility even wasting space in my mind.

>>11080569
Get your union to pay for it.

>>11080387
it's a frickin labor day baby

>>11080615
I don't have a union I'm a college dropout with a shitty food service job

>>11080568
I write good lyrics.

Another rainy night.

I'm now officially done with the school year. Going to head home for the summer tomorrow. Last year I was so excited for this, but this time around I just kind of feel empty. I know it's not going to be the same. None of my good friends will be there, they've all got exciting internships or whatever. I don't relate to my family nearly as much as I used to. My own room feels foreign after being away so long. My home doesn't feel like home anymore, but school doesn't feel like home either. I thought rootlessness was a meme, but I guess I'm living it now.

unironically would appreciate advice. I wasn't good at social activity to begin with, and am infinitely worse at it when your "friends" are randos you know for a couple months before you move again. I'm slowly becoming steppenwolf and I don't like it.

>>11080387
my lack of identity and group is driving me towards religion. this illegitimate faith is surely a lie and insult to any gods.

What is it that prevents me from doing the necessary things in life. Tomorrow begins a new month, and I have nowhere to live. I have the money to rent an apartment. I have the wherewithal to find one. Indeed, I have a place in mind, with reasonable rates and open space. And yet, here I sit, just as I have for the last several weeks. The thought of making the phone call or even sending an email fills me with dread for no discernible reason. How do you overcome something like that?

I have to work with her tomorrow and I really don't want to. My plan is to ask her if she wants to see a movie this week. I really don't want to do that either. Shouldn't I be compelled to seek out the object of my attraction? Why do I just feel sick instead?

>>11080716
Don't be a slave to the future.

>>11080723
Maybe because deep down you realise she doesn't deserve it.

>>11080465

When I was 20, I worked at a liquor store. I kept little scraps of paper in my pocket because every couple of days, someone very interesting would walk into the store and something about the way they behaved or spoke would catch my attention and I would jot down notes about the person which would inspire little stories or plots. I recommend this to you. When you get home, just spend 15 minutes expanding on your notes.

>>11080653
You aren't rotless, you always have Earth there to support you.
You don't need to make friends, they already are. You just need to open up and feel their will, be no faggot and mask yourself. Be a proud and straightforward man and you will never have problems.

>>11080387
Modern life is too easy, and that's what makes it so hard

>>11080723
Fear of rejection. The only way to surmount this, unfortunately, is to ask her out.

>>11080755
For certain regions of the world.
And perhaps life has become easier in one way you think of, but harder in an another way. Life evolves.

buddha was right about everything.

>>11080767
Yes, a breeze materially, but a struggle mentally, chasing more abstract goals that aren't really necessary for survival. Lifestyles may be evolving, but humans aren't. We're the only species that questions our purpose, rather than simply living.

I really am getting sick of this place. I'm not interested in talking to people anymore and I'm less able to tolerate stupid shit than I used to.

>>11080755
no, it's just that your parents spoiled you

>>11080758
She's got a boyfriend, so I guess I'm just torturing myself by spending time with her. I'm hoping that somehow, for some reason, she'll read my mind and see things from my perspective, and even though I know how stupid that is, I carry on irrationally.

>>11080788
You will tolerate a baby because you know it can't know more than that.
You tolerate a money because that is the limit of his capacity.
But you hate a man whos capacity has no bound and will learn more as he grows in self-awareness? Very arrogant of you.

It's hard finding people who know what the hell I'm talking about. I'm beginning to think it's impossible. I have no idea how to relate to people.

I graduate college in two weeks. I haven't made any friends and the only girl who may have been interested in me probably thinks I'm crazy. I'm glad my dad isn't around to see me, he was just as a big a loser as I am.

At least tomorrow is my last Spanish class ever and I couldn't be happier about that. I've wasted years of my life on that shit.

>>11080811
Very pitiable, slave of future.
Instead of taking matters in your own hand, you leave it to the future.

>>11080641
post some
not being mean, I'd like to hear it

You ever just stop and think about just how good taking a big shit feels?

>>11080831
That's just you.
As right know, I know exactly what are you thinking, and I known what kind of response I will receive in accordance to my next strings of words.

You can always say what you are thinking.
You can always relate to people, as in the end, you are the same as them.

>>11080846
Taking matters into my own hands right now means confessing my feelings with a high probability of rejection. My only other course of action is to let a bond develop naturally. Or, if there's no chemistry, be disappointed/depressed and eventually move on. The wait is what's killing me.

>>11080863
No.

>>11080752
I used to do this when I worked in the public. Now all I see are the same 2 fucks who never say or do anything interesting and everything I write is the same...

>>11080866
To elaborate, the things I say aren't the things I mean. Something gets lost in translation between the brain and the mouth. I don't even think of my voice as being my own. I feel trapped inside my head, unable to express what I think.

>>11080755
Bugs...easy on the retardation

>>11080873
Or you can strengthen your will to create the idea that she is no need for you, that at the end the only thing she can offer at best the the sweet embrace dor yourself that you can do easily by gaining higher self-awareness, and let go of those delusional feelings.

the white man will awaken one day

>>11080886
Are those words that you wrote right now you? Those fingers that wrote them, who do they belong to? You aren't anyone, you are just a dinamic blub of thoughts that wash die like cells off skin and new ones replace them.

>>11080886
then write them down. try to express in its full nuance and subtleties. surely one day, it may take more than a lifetime but someday, someone will understood whatever that you meant.

>>11080909
I'm tryin' not to care. All I can say is that it's hard.

it's weird to read the bad writing of someone you know. You can't tell if they're unable to express themselves well or if they're just very shallow with nothing to say.

>>11080579
push yourself out of your comfort zone

you're too comfortable

>>11080853
Eh here is one Im working on atm, Im shooting for it to be a rap.


So found heth, he hasth holieth desire in thee, fire.
So holieth, sounds of hith, in thy slumbering choir.
So foundeth, of thy treasen, of fallen have transpire.
Boi, so fire, God gaven a holy pyre
Boi, down in gyre, sounds of golden lyre

Foyer commeth from fire, onto hearth
So sendeth inner, he climbs from earth
Tender nurished, branded and mullished
He ith pert
Damned from squires, lost frometh land Fammed by his desire, posted to lambs

He steppeth through fire, thou judgement
Is thy game

>>11080853 #
Eh here is one Im working on atm, Im shooting for it to be a rap.


So found heth, he hasth holieth desire in thee, fire.
So holieth, sounds of hith, in thy slumbering choir.
So foundeth, of thy treasen, of fallen have transpire.
Boi, so fire, God gaven a holy pyre
Boi, down in gyre, sounds of golden lyre

Foyer commeth from fire, onto hearth
So sendeth inner, he climbs from earth
Tender nurished, branded and mullished
He ith pert
Damned from squires, lost from his land
Fammed by his desire, posted to lambs

He steppeth through fire, thou judgement
Is thy game

I shouldn't of let my parents decide my future
They promised me happiness if I became an engineer
Pessimists were once promised paradise

>>11081018
dropping out was the best thing I've done, if I didn't I would be an engineer by now

>>11081027
thank god huh

>>11080723
Are you happy without her? If no, work on that first. If yes, go for it.

>>11081035
I don't like your quote. I don't think it's imaginably real.

>>11081046
>doubting Zhuangzi
SHAMEFUL DISPLAY

i can redo some work here at the end of the semester and have a pretty high chance for an A. But I don't feel like doing it, so i'll just settle for a B in the class

>>11081058
the actions depicted would not influence an archer of high caliber, an athlete is competitive, winning is #1 always

>>11081059
what class

>>11081058
>being a chink

>>11080465
procrastination is a true killer, you need habits, motivation. everything has a reward even if you’re there being a lazy piece of shit ends up giving you a sense of relaxation. know your limit, get up from that couch or bed and form new habits.

>>11081070 bibble class about ideological approachs

Do you scorn porn?

>>11080387
You don't really own your life? Oh you do? Try killing your self without some idiot interferring. They don't let you kill yourself, they want you to die by any other means.

>>11081269
"If the law punishes people for trying to commit suicide, it is punishing the want of skill that makes the attempt a failure."

Tomorrow is my last day of class, an it reminds me of how I squandered m one chance to get a good education. I feel like such a damn loser.

>>11080569
Just wait until you're 24. This is both a threat and a suggestion.

>>11081206
does god real
or is his falsity
reality
so, on the un,
meeting him,
is destiny?

>>11080863
Yes

Why is there so much disparity between people who aren't even very different? I know a fairly intelligent guy with a degree from a good school who is bussing tables and building above ground pools and then I know an equally intelligent guy with a degree from the same school making $100k immediately after graduating.

>>11081321
different interpersonal journeys, and extra-personal opportunities

Does anyone here go to a therapist? What have you gained from it?

>>11081413
you feel like some weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and also you get happy pills.

I shamefully browse /lit/ in the middle of writing.
>productivity & concentration
to the trash they go

Would anybody like to pray for each other here? I'll pray for you if you pray for me.

>>11081413
Yes and I’ve gained negative two thousand dollars. That’s about it.

>>11081413
I got a jew telling me that depression isn't normal and that it's my faulty neurochemistry and totally not society being fucked up that's making me this way

It's amazing how easy it is for me to forget that I've had mystical experiences, including probably hearing God speak to me.

>>11080556
duh

>>11081659
right.

>>11081603
sounds like a deal

whats on your mind?

i have a massive crush on a girl. sometimes i think she likes me, other times im not sure. i forced myself to talk to her last. im so nervous and awkward, i am afraid i fucked it up. she is very sweet so i do not think she judges me, but i am still afraid of talking to her again. i dont want to embarrass myself and i also dont want to irritate her. do i just need to force myself to get over these fears, and how do i overcome social awkwardness?

>>11081659
care to extrapolate?

>>11081767
just fart in front of her thereby ruining any chance you had and then you won't have to worry about it anymore

I've been trying to break into the pro LoL scene for 2 years now and last season missed qualifying to play in front of scouts by literally 2 wins worth of elo because of real life obligations. The desire to go pro has consumed me for 2 years now to the point where all other hobbies and activities(including my personal studies and writing) have been removed from my life. I go to class, do the necessary reading and work and then play for 10 hours a day. If I don't get picked up by a team when I qualify for the scouting grounds this year I have no idea what will become of my life. The fear of failure has been slowly spiraling out of control over the course of the last few months and I feel like i'm on the verge of a complete breakdown.

>>11081777
those numbers don't lie.

What do you do when you just don't want to live anymore? I feel like a 90 year old man who is ready to die must feel, but then if I just keep eating and shitting and sleeping and dragging myself to work, I guess I won't die any time soon.

>>11081787
I'm sure you've heard it before but you need to hear it again: you're wasting your fucking time on a useless venture. How many hours have you used on this shitty game? LoL exists only to sell skins and is about five years past its peak. Even at the peak level of playing the game won't reach the skill of DotA let alone a real sport. Pick up a new hobby, and don't let your sunken time bind you to this commercial chink trap

>>11081775
dont use my meme

I'm missing the point of my life

>>11081831
Try swimming

>>11081836
I don't know how to swim. Should I get worried?

My coworker's brother died last week. She showed but an ounce of sadness. She was completely at peace with it. He was not estranged and she loved him.

Her Christian faith. She is the most religious person I have ever met. That is, she leaves the office from 12-1pm daily to attend church and will then work an extra hour to compensate her time sheet. She was glad to tell me that his death was God's plan, that there was an absolute reason for it, even if unknown, that her trust in God is why she has accepted it, that what was meant to happen, happened. Her own credence is her birthplace - The Philippines, a country where people crucify themselves on Good Friday. I know this because she proudly showed me pictures of these people, volunteers, screaming in agony while bleeding nailed to a cross. The way she described the process was like nothing. She might as well have been reading one of those chicken marsala recipes she emails me.
How can she, and not I, be that okay when a horrible thing like death occurs? I'm still not okay with the losses I've had. How does she beat this? I want to hear her take on Job.
I can't tell who's deluded.

>>11082026
Being deluded into thinking dying is God's plan, instead of just a fact of life and random depending on the circumstances, is absolutely idiotic.

It was a tease of a dusk, infused with sex, flesh colors and wet and humid, treating the spectator with the same professional and baiting lubricity as porn starlets. The gaping anus of the sun set behind the mountains and gave way to a pink-orange slit, like a sideways cunt asquat in the heavens.

>>11082035
I agree, but I was shocked to see how at ease she was and how differently someone like her can view death in real life. She is crazy and naive, but happy and optimistic.

>>11081303
also meant to respond
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vhtpAIbIpQ

>>11080429
me too anon, me too

finals are killing me

I'm sick of my minimum wage job, but i have no marketable skills or connections and live in a small town. Don't know where to even start to get out.

>>11082293
The clear solution is to get some marketable skills or connections. As to how to do that, I have no idea, being a privileged piece of shit. Sorry anon. Read Marx.

I hate doing a final edit and proof of a paper before submitting it, I always end up doubting that my arguments are any good. Oh well, the bar for acceptability is pretty low these days anyway.

>>11082334
>being a privileged piece of shit. Sorry anon. Read Marx
p o t t e r y

>>11081831
do some /out/ stuff alone. take about minimum at least half a day activity in nature. the longer the better.

>>11082293
What do you want to do with yourself? Perhaps college or community college?

>>11080480
You don't control what you are interested in. Thus you can't control what you "intuitivly" focus on. You can and have to however sometimes force yourself to "focus" on certain.activitys, things or thougjts whatever. But that ij itself is just the discarsing of multiple things that wamt your focus for ome thing you want to take into focus. Human beings always zero in on one thing. 99% of reality has to be keot out to concentrate

>>11080610
That's normal. Just keep pushing until it goes away. If it doesn't or if you relapse into selfdesteuctive behaviour you don't have to panic. Sadly that's normal in todays society too and there are reasons for this. Just know that even if whatever makes you resentful and fearful enough to sacrifice the things you know to lastingly make your life fulfilled might not be your fault but the fault of the system it would be your fault to buckle under the pressure. Take honest responsibility for your life and others' and don't let the soul plague and it's gruesome systematic symptoms of pathologies take you down. If we hold out in at least 200years we will be over this

>>11082066
Hasn't anyone ever told you asians don't are soulless robots? With this knowledge reevaluate your situation. Another example: A few days ago my korean christian coworker told me his friend has been in a coma from a car accident and that when he went to see him in the hospital he drew on his friend's face like jigglypuff.

>>11082066
Hasn't anyone ever told you asians are soulless robots? With this knowledge reevaluate your situation. Another example: A few days ago my korean christian coworker told me his friend has been in a coma from a car accident and that when he went to see him in the hospital he drew on his friend's face like jigglypuff.

>>11080653
I can relate anon. I guess the only advice I can give to such a broad description of a problem is to focus on yourself and the things you want to achieve.
Make a plan. Who do you want to be in 10 years. What are the things you want to do and why? Design a personal "heaven" somekind of state you want to achieve aim high but not too high and make sure to split your goals into achievable subgoals. You can also design your personal "hell". What would your life look like if 10 years from noe on you go straight downhill. What bad habits could get out of control and where would they lead to?
I know how social isolation feels. It's not fun. But you can push through the morast if you keep working at yourself. One they, when the universe or you yoirself consider yourself worthy you will find love. Maybe in a woman or just friends but you will have lasting relationships. Until then push through, discipline amd educate yourself as much as possible.
If you have problems with destructive thoughts read up om REBT(Rational emotive behaviour therapy)

>>11080723
It might be a number of things anon. Fear of rejection, a feeling of your own inadequacy (real or not) or simply high neuroticism. The best way to find out is to bond with her and then learn to lead productive dialouge in which you can both mutually help yourselfs to understand yourselfs. A relationship is a partnership. It doesn't just include sex but many other more inportsnt things like talking and discussing things that are inportant to you and maybe detrimental to finding your ways in life. In short. Focus on being authentic and make the relationship as meaningful as possible.
That is of course linked with some degree of anxiety but as soon as you both realize that you are on the same page, which you are if you rationalize it in a chsrming fashion, you can relax and have fun.

>>11080387

My stomach hurts. I've got an operation tomorrow and I'm nervous. I need a poo.

>>11082348

What results do you normally get for papers? Do you score high?

>>11080716
Psychotherapie and or intensive exploration of your own psyche which includes reading alot.
You don't feel anything without a reason anon. Most of the time there are things you tell yourself to make you feel anxious or depressed(look up REBT and buy a book about it. The techniques are simple and effective and don't require any former knowledge).
You can take your happyness and life into your own hands you just have to seek out the right tools. Psychologie is the best tool we have today.
Good look and I love you anon

>>11080838
Very desteucrive ans self loathing AWFULIZING thoughts. No wonder you feel depressed and hate yourself.

Should i turn my idea into a weird short story, or a weird childrens book with images? I feel like the potential for money is bigger with childrens books, i am not a great author either...

>>11082616
She is insane, but genuinely one of the nicest persons I've ever met.
She is absolutely retarded sometimes but always always means well. I don't have experience with Korean people, all I know is that they are racist as fuck. But South Asians are different people then East Asians. They just are.

>>11081749
I know in my heart that I need a change. Winter has turned to spring, and I'm still as gray and cold as ever. I ask for the perception to recognize when an opportunity comes into my life, and for the strength to take hold of it.

How about you, what's on your mind?

>>11083200
Just go for it. Start with a short story and if it turns out shit turn it.into a childrens book

There’s fuck all to do in the big Apple unless you’re loaded
You can’t even sit on the lawn of a park

>>11083842
FeelsBadMan

>>11083842
Art museum?

I need to get my studies on track if I want to do something productive with my life. I really wish I was with a woman right now. It's been almost 10 years since the last time. At least I have some more beer left.

>>11083842
does the park cost money?

Who would go with me to see ariel pink at the house of blues san diego this sunday

I‘m extremely hungover and I really want some tea

>>11083860
I would but I reside in Europe hence I can't afford to make that trip

If you do something considered "bad" - you will feel guilty. Then you do it again (predeterminsim?) and you feel less so than the first time. Repeat and eventually that action which was "Bad" is no longer bad.

I have spent the last year doing just that, eg/ cheating on my girlfriend of five years, merely to see the transition of my morality.

It's become addictive and I can't stop pushing the boundaries of my "morality".

How do I even attract a normal gf? I'm not even that bad but I've never been able to attract any normal or decent quality girls. It is just so frustrating to be alone and hated.
>>11080723
Yes, you should just ask her and get it over. It will be better for you.

Uhhh

>>11083856
No, he's just retarded

I want a bf

>>11084107
Are you a girl or a gay?

>>11080387
I read fanfiction because I fucking love time travel fix it stories. Goddammit, I love them so much. FUCKING ROCK THAT TEENAGE TRAUMA BABY.
Books? Fuck books. I want 15 year olds killing werewolves to save their best friend and then vomiting. I want 12 year olds that have crippling nightmares from the ancient space ghost living in their brain, and unable to tell anyone about it. Give me that PTSD shit. Give me a child soldier traumatized from fighting in a magical hell war. Waiting for Godot? More like Waiting for MISS ME WITH THAT SHIT.

Also I just got out of psychiatric clinic and I'm worried I got discharged too soon, and I'm scared of calling my father, so...

>don't have a personality
>don't have opinions on things i read, watch, listen to ect

>>11084294
spooky. like legit. are you depressed?

>>11080387
I want to feel disgust but I can't even feel that anymore

I can't focus on things so I have a decent amount of irons in the fire. No, I don't want medicine for ADHD or ADD or anything of the sort. I have accepted who I am, sort of. It's annoying somewhat when I am focusing on something and then get distracted to a different subject but it does keep things fresh.

I feel like picking specialisations is fine for the people that can do it but it just isn't for me. My interests are extremely varied and mercurial and I like that. I can't believe I even attempted to go to college when it would have just pushed me down a certain road (and with a decent amount of debt) that I didn't want to go down. A lot of people I've talked to don't understand this, though. It's hard to explain, I think. I really don't know if anyone can relate however I'm sure there are people who can so I'm not going to go, "am I the only one that feels this way???"

Hobbies are a blast. I wish I could make money on my hobbies but they do require some concentration and persistence that I simply cannot stick with for very long before moving on. I eventually go back, but that isn't good for business, is it?

>>11084309
I assume so

>>11084328
Huh. you seeing someone for it?

>>11084357
Nah, i'm going to kill myself when my mum passes anyway.

>>11084375
Oh. Well, if you're sure.

>>11084322
What are your hobbies? I've been looking for some good ones.

>>11084398

Bladesmithing, reading (is this a hobby? I don't even know anymore but I read whatever takes my fancy), learning languages (once again, is this a hobby?), cooking/baking, making shitty Youtube videos, random construction projects, training my dogs (once again, I question if this is a hobby), painting, Warhammer stuff (for the art since the lore is absolute garbage), general modelling, sculpting, smoking a pipe (questioning if this is a hobby since I don't spend a lot of money doing it like a lot of people I've seen get into it), gardening, plant care, sitting around staring at nature, listening to owls at night whilst smoking my pipe, general computer stuff (questioning if this is a hobby), playing video games with my friends (because I'm a manchild).

Those are all the ones I can think of that I've been doing in the past week. Maybe they're not hobbies. Well, some of them are. I live a somewhat chaotic but structured life, if that makes sense.

>>11084449
nice

>>11084458

Sometimes I do wish I could focus and think there really may be something wrong with me but I've been also thinking about actual individualism and differences. I don't fit into a mold. It just isn't me. I feel like I'm going through a second teenage rebellious phase despite being 27.

I came back from God's grave, I took communion there confessed and now I feel great.
I was nice to see all the places of most miricals and read the gospel there.
My biggest compliment was that I had to wait 2h in the halls of God grave because of the Serbian prime minister's visit.
But it's great there I recommend it to everyone.

>>11084449
I think I'm kind of like you. My interest is catched by so many things but I learned to discipline myself to the degree that I can finish some of the projects I'm working on. I also am sacrificing my artistic nature and talent for a psychology profession. I think this way my life will be more meaningfull and productive but I still want to fulfill my dreams of artistery amd adventure. I never fit intp school. Never did homework or learning but still passed most test with good grades and eventually graduated highschool. Going to start my first degree in september.

>>11080415
One of my friends and i talk about this all the time. We have a rapchat account with over 500 freestyles on it from the past 3-4 years.

Go for it anon just write some lil catchy couplings every day for a while, act ignorant on instagram and you could probably get there on some bullshit

I finished Flowers for Algernon and the ending really got to me.

Sometimes, and when I say sometimes: I mean every time I truly think about my position in life, I think about the fact that I am truly a slave to my ambition: and in resolution to the original thought, sometimes, sometimes I like it. Me gusto el ambición. I want to hide my feeling because when I labor at a task that seems to be lower than what my ambition has provided that I do: I want to stop persisting to be, on the surface level, however: I will make up an excuse that this is the ladder to get to my goals.

>>11084806
Im like literally the whitest person, idk how I could pull it off.

But im learning to mix atm, just need some voice recording stuff

All I want is to be truly passionate about something, but nothing clicks.

>>11084895
Your self

I just go on here to catch a few (You)s and to pass some time. This is why I'm mediocre.

I can't stop thinking about how there are a set of decisions that could land me in nearly any position I wanted, but I don't know what they are. I could be happy and rich within a week, and all I would need would be some external force that urges me to:

>leave house and buy this winning lottery ticket and this location
>play these numbers at your local gas station
>write out this message to these people, who own these companies
>ask for a job and this site and work your way up this way
>be at this place at this time to get a date with this girl

It's just odd. Of all the paths I'm capable of, of the billions of possibilities, there is one which would give me every single thing I've ever wanted under the circumstances I find myself in. I'm only a few decisions away from what I want, but I acknowledge I will never know what these decisions will be.

>>11080490
It's never too late.

>>11080558
Correct.

>>11080755
I'm facing a similar revelation. I'm unsatisfied with my life to the point where I would like to change it, but far too comfortable to actually do anything about it.

Dangling above the pot of boiling water, without ever truly being submerged.

>>11084822
It got to me too fampai. Felt very upsetting when his writing slowly deteriorated, and he realized what was happening.

>>11084895
Yeah, me neither.

I find myself stuffing my kindle and tablet with ePubs and PDFs of books I wish I had already read instead of reading them so I do not have to confront the fact that I cannot concentrate for more than 20 seconds at a time, instead looking at charts and reading threads about books I just know by name and summary wishing I read this shit and was the kind of woke and interesting I want to be.

>>11084975
Do you ever try to set a reading time? For example read for no more than 10 minutes tonight. If you are comfortable then read for 20 minute next week. Its what cognitive behavior therapist do with patients. It works for me.

>>11080838
>I'm glad my dad isn't around to see me, he was just as a big a loser as I am.
tfw loser dad

>>11085009
Yeah I want to implement something like a reading routine before I go to bed. I think sitting in front of screens not only keeps me awake because muh blue light spectrum but I personally think the way that swiping and using apps in general engages and works in your brain makes it hard to calm down. Plus sleeping after reading something new or thought provoking could also be beneficial to keep it long term. But those are the thoughts of the perfect future me, not the person in the moment not implementing this against my better judgment.

hell yeah just paid the rent for may time to shitpost!

this chick i know is trying to talk me into signing up for online dating sites im like wtf this is weird

only sugar and porn is left

and imma be a good boy!

I've remained voluntarily celibate despite many chances to have sex yet i find it hard to stop masterbating. Am I cursed?

Intimacy with another feels weird to me, but sexual fantasies do not.

>>11085498
You're retarded, stop jerking off and have sex with actual women

>>11085498
Voluntary celibacy is the suppression of your natural urges to continue the species. Therefore you cope by masturbating.

Why do you think most catholic priests are kiddy fiddlers? They not only suppress their urges but condemn them them as evil. Its no wonder they let put their sexual frustration in sick ways as a result.

>>11085543
yet if you continue the species then you're legally enslaved to the mother for 18 years

>>11085560
Back in my days we call that love

>>11080755
Il n’est pas bon d’être trop libre.


Il n’est pas bon d’avoir toutes les nécessités.

>>11085498
Do you want to actually have sex with another person? Some people are content to masturbate.

>>11085543
people who suppress their natural desires for sex are fucking perverts and should be shunned, but we all know your "voluntary" celibacy is just a ruse to fool your relatives at christmas when they ask if youre a fag cuz u still havent gotten laid and you cant tell them its because no feminazis want to mate with a kekistani nobleman like yourself

>>11085562
back in your day women were in their place and weren't unlovable wrecks

>>11085568
I don't want to have sex , no. Haven't the desire for it.

I'd like to not masterbate too, but NoFap made no difference to me mentally or physically.

>>11085586
>i cant get laid cuz feminism

lol u got bad genes is all

>>11085596
so basically you're admitted your more perverted than a faggot, we need to return to traditional values and burn defectives like you

>>11085596
Why do you care whether or not you masturbate if it makes "no difference" to you?

ive been considering suggesting that my super alcoholic mum take some psicolcybin mushrooms in a vain attempt to try and "cure" her, but with her BPD I don't think its a good idea

>>11085586
2002?

>>11085612
being an alky is genetic disorder from failed species like native americans and the irish

>>11085612
Drug her and fuck her
Overcome Oedipus

>>11085600
if women were banned from the workplace and prevented from voting as is only right many of our problems would be solved
>>11085615
yes, even 2002 was far better off than what we have now

>>11085600
O genes what art tbey even for?
Bart or lisa or clarissa who give
One finkling pinkling about abouteth
Nature, when so much doeth lie beneath
Crawling in deep the same in everyoneth
But oh lit with doth qualify ath poetry
What doth doth even mean?
It rhymes with froth, lit, it doth but
Who giveth a fuck? Life it ith but a dream
Before heat death, the mortal coil
And all

i shall not bow! Because i know my worth!

>>11085609
God.

I prefer the quiet life and He's the only thing that makes me feel like there's a bit of hope but masterbating and lust make me a hypochrite that doesn't deserve him.

Which iss odd because i've no lust for actual sex, just sexual fantasies.

I know, it's not righr.

Let it be known that I have no struggle except that which I deliberately impose on myself. Some of these imposed struggles must end, not for myself, but for those I love.

Yo timeout im not defending the incel who preaches voluntary celebacy. But me im waiting till 28. Ive already fucked 10+ women at 21 and right now im making money so i can marry, fuck and have kids with the first one. I know that's radical, but some dudes would rather work for 5-6 years and marry , instead of fucking around

>>11083842
Central Park is free. You can also go bum around Union Square. But otherwise if you're not making the higher end of 5 figures, don't bother.

>>11085619
Hasn't passed to me. Hell, Ive never had more than 4 drinks when Ive been out/parties

>>11085642
Then that would be what nofap does for you mentally, i.e. it makes you feel like you're not deceiving God.

women were a mistake

>>11085670
No they arent, theyre just not loyal.
Women are great but they want powerful men but get deceived by pomp and dont want to admit it.
Focus on getting money and then marry in a poor country and you will be happy

>>11085661
There's stuff to do in nyc; sidebar (noho crowd), all of the clubs (i dont do that), but its really a lonely city. For all the lights and walkers, it's pretty desolate. There are funner places to go with five figures

>>11084449
You seem like a world-class narcissist who pretends to query his flaws but in actuality loves them. I hate you on a fundamental level

>>11083842
>go to London
>walk around all day
>find park and sit down in a chair
>attendant comes up to me and tell me I have to pay 2 pounds to sit

fucking ridiculous

I am in Manhattan making around 100k, putting in minimal work at my job. I am the poorest out of all my friends but I don't have the motivation to go out and get another job. I want to move out of Manhattan because I find the city depressing and lonely, and the root cause of all sorts of neuroses. However I don't know where else I can go, because I am used to the city lifestyle and am spoiled by countless food options and bar options, even as I feel my self shrink inside.

How do I meet likeminded people and develop a relationship.
Getting a job didn't help at all and now I'm unemployed again, I do interesting things but nothing at all that brings social contact.

>>11085694
Lol

>>11085700
That's a tough one.
Get a dog?

>>11085698
Go to bed earlier and run from time to time. Scrap caffeine and cigs.
Daydrink and try to pickup women in libraries / bookstores.
Most importantly have fun!

>>11085689

I accept my flaws, or what I perceive as my flaws. I go along with them because it's who I am. I don't love them.

>>11085698
get out as often as you can. go to nature, not central park, go to the andrionacks, the catskills or up to Canada

>>11085698
>I am in Manhattan making around 100k, putting in minimal work at my job. I am the poorest out of all my friends
you make more in a year than I have in 10

>>11085698
What do you do?

>>11085711
This might have done the trick if I was living in the wilds like I want to, but in the urban hellscape I need intimate human relations to energise me I think.
Nobody to live for nothing to die for and it's quite alienating.

>>11085698
Don Draper is that you?

How do all of you people who have been unemployed deal with the gaps in your resume? I've always heard that if you have any gaps at all between employment it's pure poison and makes you look like shit. I want to quit my job but I've been waiting to get a new one first. Only problem is I've been applying for 10 months and haven't gotten one yet. I'm worried if I don't leave my job soon I'll be stuck here for a long long time.

>>11085796
your options: lie, find an empathetic employer (lol), find an industry that actually needs more workers (haha)

>>11085812
>find an industry that actually needs more workers (haha)
There are a few, I'm in one.

>>11085796
Forget applications and processes, find somewhere you want to work and ask them over the phone or walk through the front door.
I've walked into every job in my life this way with no bullshit with qualifications and such, with years of gaps between each

>>11080387
I have no idea what I want from others. I have a vague desire to communicate with people but find most people boring and repulsive.

>>11085821
name one

>>11085864
Pesticides

>>11085868
pesticides are evil and all pesticide workers should be gassed

>>11085835

Get the fuck out, grandpa.

>>11085883
We're already gassing ourselves, we don't need your help.

>>11085888
Door-knocking aint dead you lazy whippersnapper, get out and do something you want to do

A few months ago, I had bought a friend a nice edition of her favorite book to give to her as a present for her bday this weekend. However, things have gone sour in our relationship and we haven't really been talking. But I still really cherish what our friendship was and am not trying to harbor hard feelings.
I'm thinking of leaving the book on her porch or on her her car windshield. With a letter, but unsure of the letter, maybe just a note that says Happy Birthday and on which page her favorite line is

>>11085861
You and me both anon, the more I deal with people the more misanthropic I get

>>11085904
I wish I knew what a friendship like that feels like

>>11085904
Leave the book for her and move on, that way you won't see it and be reminded of it, better to regret giving it to her than not giving it at all

>>11081814
I agree with this man, if my D1 friend can't make it to scouting then you're pretty fucked my dude

>>11085904
Try to make amends with her, forget whatever transpired and try and save the friendship (unless whatever it was was heinous AF)

>>11085919
I'll give it to her. I guess I'm just wondering if I should write a long letter telling her about how I loved and cherished our time together or not, idk

Where did it all go so wrong? When did this site lose it's almost chaotic innocence? When did the world become so scary?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuNixp-wvWM

>>11085961
>click "Embed"
>it's some weeb shit

I cant convey to anyone how much i want to die at all times.

There's this guy I work with who I thought was an annoying autist. Then I learned he's actually a decade older than I thought he was. So apparently he's just old.

>>11085972
FUCK OFF NEWFAGGOT

>>11085796
embrace your inner neet

>>11085972
begone layman

>>11085990
>>11085998
You folks sure do get riled up

>>11085948
Honestly I don't even really understand what happened, I mean I kinda do but not really. I tried inviting her out the other day and she just never responded

Just when I thought I had enough to edit, I'm now finding out that I have to ruin the dialog of one of my favorite characters for his existence to make sense

>>11080579
>I can make friends with people

I can't even do that.

>>11086027
She's probably hurt, women are difficult I know but what you can do instead of trying to go along as business as usual, try opening up to her, saying you've got to get something off your chest etc.

Or you can show up to her place on her birthday with gift in tow and try to work it out

this warm summery weather always puts me in a hetero mood to pound some punani, i hate it

My girlfriend moved away, and now she's back. I think deep down I knew she'd be back. I'm in a pretty good mood right now.

>>11080387
I hate you people so much, today was just fucking awful. not a single interesting thread, endless people who wouldn’t be here just 3 years ago. Disgusting