/lit/ - Literature

>>11054508
Im so lonely, give me a girlfriend now.

No. Even if they're into real lit its impossible to express why you love Thoreau or Dosty or whoever without just saying, "Mmm yeah i just, i dont know i just like his work iitt umm makes me feel alivejah feel?"and theyll explai ntheir books the same way

READING is a private joy never expect to share it ever itcant be done

>>11054508
are they at a beachside cafe? that’s something i’ll have to try, the ocean has a psychedelic effect on my mind.

you tell them you read big books which are more complex than their tiny nigger brains could fathom, then when they ask which, pick the most esoteric of the midtier works you read and overwhelm them

always assume dominance

Poetry and Literature

>>11054508
Just say something meaningless like “oh I love the classics” and shift the topic to their tastes.

If you really care about not sperging, just lie or tell them you like the classics, and mention Gatsby. I usually just tell the truth and if I'm lucky I find another person I can discuss literature with, and get one more step from leaving this board.

Lolita.

l lean towards the good old autistic 5 minute monologue, complete with tangents, diversions, conclusions and theories all of my own. in my experience, some women have found this charming or quirky and some utterly repellnt. in any case, l wpuld NEVER squander the opportunity to speak freely and impassionately about books to a willing audience, even if it costs me the date

>>11054508

its not what i read, but why i read what i read

why do u read what you read anon? think about this anon. i have the answer but i wont give it to you.

what is it about reading that keeps you reading that isnt pleasure? what utility does reading have? the functional result of reading literature on your mind, or spirit.

how does reading serve you anon?

>>11054541
make sure to have insane hand movements as well

>>11054516
Getting a girlfriend wont solve loneliness, solving your loneliness will get you a girlfriend.

Just enjoy the fact that you both like to read and both experience the same synaptic firing squad despite genre and try to read some of their recommended books. Who knows, maybe you'll dig it. Either way its more fulfilling than sitting at home experiencing cellular atrophy and the slow lapse of time that eventually ends in decay and the solitary acceptance of the demise of everything glazed by endless lonesome cum stains and the residue of tears.

>>11054558
in the absolute height of my soliloquies l've been known to gesticulate boldly in anguish or delight, to jerk back in my chair, to even slam, gently, my hand onto the table, in order to drive a point solidly home

>>11054508
I've only ever talked to people for whom reading is impressive all on its own, but they don't care about specifics, or people for whom reading is so commonplace it doesn't warrant a conversation unless there's a specific book someone feels like discussing.

>>11054558
Hahahaha oh man that cracks me up. I do that ALL the time with people. I'm so glad i have a girlfriend who loves me for my intellect.

>>11054565
this is not true

>>11054585
Yeah man thats the way to go. I'm an energetic speaket as well. I like to make very clear and stiff movements with my hand to illustrate how cleanly the concepts are categorized in my.mind

>>11054508
i used to have this problem OP

solution is not to overthink it. No generalizations or summaries just talk about what you're reading right now - who gives a damn about what impression that gives of you. if that doesnt do it, just say "literature and philosophy" or something equally monosyllabic and flat. give as little information as possible. if someone wants to know they'll work for it

>>11054602
the point is don't do anything to explain or justify yourself beyond the absolute necessity. its boring and makes you look weak. long autistic rants are for charismacels

>>11054558
I too have been imitating that infernal "zigzag" movement from Bely's Petersburg that I read about lately and as expected it puts a lot of people off. What a genius.

say a few authors and why you read then repeat the question on to them, people love to talk about themselves. also keep the authors "safe": no nabokov, neitzche, burrows, burgess. keep it conventional.
IE. "oh, haha. I enjoy reading Camus, Joyce, and Dostoevsky. I guess I kinda like reading because it's experience by proxy, how about you? what do you find in reading?"

>>11054573
people pleaser

>>11054573
cattle thief

I'm not sure how to respond to this, either. I suppose the best approach is to rattle off some authors or to talk about a book you read recently and hope to build from there, like, "Oh, well, right now, I'm reading this. It's about..."

>>11054565
>I’m hungry, please give me food
>eating food won’t solve your hunger, solving your hunger will get you food

Luckily this has only happened to me once or twice in life. I just say something broad like "oh I get into and enjoy the occasional classic."

Then I change the topic

>>11054508
The best and least pretentious answer is to just talk about the book you are currently reading. She knows it? Perfect: continue. She doesn't? Don't try to fucking lecture about it: ask her what she reads. Most girls only ask questions so they can talk about their own interests.

>>11054565
No it definitely will. It did last time.

>>11054508
>I tend to enjoy reading classics and literary fiction, but also historical fiction and the occasional biography. What about you? What do you like to read?

Easy as that. People like to talk about themselves, so just give a nice specific and short answer and turn it back to them.

seen this thread b4. fucking autists. just say you read old school stuff. Who cares, own who you are.

>>11054647
this is not a good analogy

>>11054558
I do this so much, I notice I'm flopping my hand around like a goddamn retard or I'll just start pointing randomly

Literature and poetry. If she's not a brainlet then we can discuss Byron and Goethe. Assume that women only ask you questions to talk about their own interests, which will be vacuous. If I told that woman that I enjoy romanticism she would think that I like watching old Disney films.

>>11055017
fuck off retard

>>11054508
I only read posts on an anonymous imageboard about literature. You?

"I understand things, that you will never know"
*Tips fedora*

>>11054595
>>11054565
Truth is somewhere in the middle. Having a GF will make the times when you feel lonely less horrible and more bearable but will not completely eliminate experience moments of misery. There will be times too where you look deep in her eyes, expecting to feel romance, and think to yourself I don't know this person she is a stranger. Other times you will look in her eyes and think SHE CUTE!

Every time I answer this question I say and describe what I'm currently reading, and every time I get a blank look back and a polite, mumbled, "oh, sounds cool." I probably sound completely autistic.

"oh I'm kind of all over the place with what I read but generally a lot of philosophy and theory, however my favorite novel is 2666, have you heard of it? No? Well it's about..." and then I go into the basic plot and a brief summarization of its political commentary and trust me my dudes I have gotten laid within 30 minutes every time I talk about that book

>>11054508

just say what you've been reading recently. that way you don't need to 'define' yourself as if you're trying to identify yourself with what you like to read.

>>11054565
Fuck you redditor

>>11054565
I'm a friendless virgin NEET but I haven't felt lonely in years, where's my free complimentary gf?

>>11054508

>“I mainly read classics.”
Easy, vague and honest.

>>11054508
I usually tell them I like to read the classics. Simple as that

>>11055766
you’re not human

>>11054618
no Nietzsche? fuck off you pseudo twit

>>11054558
I did this at a coffee shop the other day. I met up with a classmate who asked me to help her with her essay on Hume and when I started getting into my explanation she asked me "why are you fidgeting so much?" I instantly said "I'm going against the grain...literally...of the wooden table." Needless to say it was the quickeness of my response that saved me. That night her ass looked like a blowhole when I was done with her.

>>11054508
Jesus take a breath. Just talk about what you're currently reading - easy.

>>11054508
"I love tolstoi tsehov and the flame bearers (Finnish modernist group) " works pretty well where I live. Even if they don't read, girls will have heard of these in secondary school and I can judge their attitudes based on the reaction.

>>11056230
how many girls did it work on who weren't drunk

>>11056230
One worked really well. Couple seemed interest, but weren't into anything good themselves. The best success is kind of cheating because we were in the same lit class and she had to listen to me go on about this with the teacher.

>>11056237
Fuck I'm tired meant to reply to this
>>11056273

>>11054508
I studied literature at university so it at least gives me the opportunity to be honest without sounding like too much of a windbag, even if I would probably say something pretentious like "late modernist poetics" or " the avant-garde".

That said, I have no reason to give a shit because I have no need to go on the pull. My gf appreciates I have fairly obscure reading habits and will patiently listen to my sometimes lucid, sometimes psychotic rants about books, usually about how Beckett's last novel is not a novel at all but rather a kind of literary topological play that constructs, stretches and contorts a trefoil knot in the 4th dimension

>>11054508
Just say "the classics." Or "Right now, I'm reading [title]. It's about [main character / conflict]."

>Wow anon, you read a lot. You must be really smart huh?
>h-heh yeah

>>11056291
>Beckett's last novel is not a novel at all but rather a kind of literary topological play that constructs, stretches and contorts a trefoil knot in the 4th dimension

>>11054508
All the girls I slept with in undergrad were also lit majors or musicians, so the first meet that always worked for me was to say something insightful but critical about something they liked. "Charles McCarry got more mileage out of Shelley's heart than Trelawney" got me laid once with a busty short stack who was going through her romanticism phase.

>>11055766
Basically this
If you're depressed you're not gonna stop being depressed when you have a girlfriend but it'll be easier

>>11055766
Yeah, my gf put up with my existential crisis for two weeks before I got a new job. She was helpful in calming me down, but she is no Socrates.

Just say the most famous author

>Oh you know Harry Potter, Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, the list goes on.

>>11054516
They're often more trouble than they're worth

Take it from me, a serial relationshipist

"Wittgenstein, and similar things"

The Greeks.

"Toltstoy, Dostoevsky, the list could go on..."

>tfw the lasts months I've been reading about the History of Christianity, The Gospels (including the Gnostic ones) and Orthodox mystical theology.
No wonder I haven't touch a woman in two years.

>>11056940
same

>>11054508
Harry
Potter

>>11057004
Hang in there bud. We feel you. Remember that God>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> all

>>11054565

>>11056649
>but she is no Socrates
I bet she's corrupted plenty of youth though

>>11054508
>Boss, female, from HQ asks this
>reply "everything from ancient texts to scientific and medical journals, self-help/spirituality to financial reports of international empires, history of politics to mythologies"
>"so, like technical manuals and stuff?"
Do women have no clue what it means to be interested in the universe beyond immediate/eventual satisfaction of desires/"needs?"

Most common reaction I get when a woman asks how many books I've read, or which subjects, is a perplexed stare and "Why would you spend so much time reading?" What else is there to do, build an international empire so I can get sum, and be disappointed that I wasted 30 years grinding life away for the end-game coochie instead of living life?

>>11054647
Idiotic analogy

>>11054508
Honestly, in my experience, women typically like "autistic several minute explanations" when they ask questions like this, because, when they do, they're often genuinely interested. Just make sure to pause occasionally so it doesn't stay one-sided.

>>11054647
Why are food analogies always the most garbage?

I say that I read a lot of fiction with heavy philosophical themes, or that I really like to read for the beauty of the language and so anything with a distinguished prose style, or I say that lately I've been reading a lot of pomo lit or whathaveyou. idk.

>>11054508
I'm mostly interested in interaction between characters since I don't have any friends.

>>11055766
Oh to be known by another and to know them as well

desu all I really care about in life is real love

>>11055854
Low effort

I just say "classics". It works well and people understand.

>not listing every single genre until they wished they hadn't asked

>>11054565
This is so true it hurts.

>>11054508
"Street signs and license plates and stuff"

>>11054508
>be me
>be reading
>be in class
>be hiding be hind book to avoid normie attention
>thot approaches
>"hey anon, what are you reading"?
>mfw it's hard-boiled wonderland
>mfw no face
>"it's a japanese book"
>"oh cool, what genre is it?"
>oh fug, time to guess
>"uuuuh surrealist? magical realist?"
>blank stare
>"cool I guess? I'm like going to go talk to my friends now?"
>go home
>check wikipedia for correct answer on genres
>fucking nailed it
OOH GIRL YOU SHOCK ME LIKE AN ELECTRIC FEEL

>>11061161
i love you like you got quads

>>11061161
another /lit/eral hero

>>11054508
>I read whatever book interest me
How is that hard?

>>11054508

It's been a while since I faced this problem (I interact only rarely with people I don't know) but when I had this conversation in the past it tended to go like this:

Random Person:
>Oh you read a lot? That's cool, what kind of stuff do you usually read?

Self:
>Whatever I think will be worth my time. At the minute I'm reading <X Y Z> and re-reading <P Q R>.

This sounds a bit brutal but I would say it in a cheery, self-effacing style. This seemed to work fine - most people respond almost entirely to your manner of speaking rather what you actually say, anyway.

Jesus Christ the fucking autism here. When people ask a question like that, they want a conversation, not a monologue.

>Lately I've been reading x, y and z. How about you?

And go from there.

>>11054508
>haha, oh wew
>do you want the long answer or the short?
>short: "lots of pretentious shit desu, X is my favourite book"
>long: Give a short review of every book you've read the last year or so

>>11054565
This, if you're lonely or insecure she's just going to leave you because of it.
girls are unironically overrated, go get some friends.

The right way to answer this is confidently

>What'd you do on the weekend
>"Just read mostly"
>What did you read?
>"A book called Stoner"
>What's it about
>"Just this fucker who grows up in the midwest and dies there"
>Sounds depressing
>"Yeah but it's good"

>>11054565
/r/iam12andthisisdeep

>I read about fucking that fine ass of yours

is what I usually go with.

"a little bit of everything"

if they care to go further, they'll prompt you again, usually about about what you're currently reading, or read recently.

>>11054508
"Mostly deep, philosophical stuff"

The majority of posters on /lit/ could accurately answer this with:

>"A slightly arbitrary subset of classics curated by the /lit/ hivemind, some meme philosophers (Stirner, Peterson etc.) and absolutely nothing written after the 20th century except John Green (but only ironically)

>>11054516
>lonely because you don't get out among people and socialize
>don't have a GF because you don't get out among people and socialize
a pattern emerges.
get the fuck out into society, meet and greet people, develop social skills, build a network of like minded individuals (preferably NOT a bunch of basement dwelling, neck bearded, fedora wearing, all male NEETS)
You wanna GF, you gotta go where they are, do things they like to do, maybe find one as introverted as you are.
Good luck and god speed, anon. I wish you well on your journey

>>11054508
>Or is there an easier answer I'm not thinking of?
>mainly classics. like, atm, i'm reading *title* and it's really good because *short description of the themes*
then just if the other person is interested you can start the autistic rambling which is the most enjoyable part desu

>>11064291
An unanimity of (You)s could accurately answer this with:

>I am a faggot

>>11056458
gay

I always say "predominantly the classics as I'm a pretentious ponce."

>>11054565
Bullshit and you know it.

>>11054508
just give them the list of the 12 books you are reading right now.
you do read 12 books at time dont you anon?

>>11054508
>>Oh you read a lot?
Agree and amplify

>an easier answer I'm not thinking of?
Whatever the fuck you read last or comes to your head.

>>11054519
>impossible to express why you love Thoreau or Dosty or whoever without just saying,
Broad strokes. "Mostly French authors... mostly X genre... really love Y McZ..."

>>11054558
>make sure to have insane hand movements as well
pic related

>>11054618
>keep the authors "safe"
Specific authors does nothing unless it's the last thing you read, shot in the dark. Genre/Nationality/Time Period, any or all.
Their own regional/ethnic ect. ect. background if unique should precipitate a request for recommendations

>>11054676
>ask her what they read
Until you find something you both have

>>11055711
>Literature and poetry.
If you're sitting someplace like in the op pic, get a napkin. Ask for a word. Give a word. 123 write a haiku/limerick: GO. Make your own humorous.

>>11055854
This is good.

>>11056126
>where's my free complimentary gf?
Waifu's a free, my anime nibba

>>11056230
>will have heard of these in secondary school and I can judge their attitudes based on the reaction.
This is what you want, a cipher

>>11056291
>probably say something pretentious like "late modernist poetics" or " the avant-garde".
If you have to talk about yourself, be specific (tersely) and pivot back.

>>11056291
>kind of literary topological play that constructs, stretches and contorts a trefoil knot in the 4th dimension
tennis of all sorts

>>11057454
>Do women have no clue what it means to be interested in the universe beyond immediate/eventual satisfaction of desires/"needs?"
You should know they're meiotic reptilian bee hives by now, anon

>>11065896
imagine writing all this out purely because a sadpost reminded you of yourself

>>11054508
They're normies. The right answer for them is a genre like 'drama' 'romance' or some mainstream authors. It's not genuine interest, it's just small talk.

Anyone else feel like a fag when they answer with "classics"? People always react as if I'm being somehow pretentious. It also doesn't even feel that honest, because my favorite author is Joseph Conrad and he gets shit on all the time. Is "Nostromo" really a classic just because it's old? It's nowhere near as cemented as a classic when compared to stuff like The Sound and the Fury or The Brothers K.

>>11064235
Don’t link to reddit

>>11054508
just stare at her and pull out your bandanna and put it on your head

>>11054508
>So we either outright lie, or we go on an autistic several minute explanation of what I'm really into.
You sound fucking autistic. This question is a shit test to make sure you aren't an autist who will give an unprompted speech.

>Or is there an easier answer I'm not thinking of?
Yes.
"Well, there are several topics I am interested in but my interests tend to shift over time. The last book I read was about [whatever]. To give you a better perspective, you would have to have a look at my book shelf though ;)"

t. slept with most girls I ever went on a date with

I LOVE the idea of getting raped. It's the only thing that I can get off to nowadays... I'd love for a big BURLY MAN to come and rape me in an alleyway... maybe a pack of rabid SKINNY STICKMEN... ugh, I don't even care how big his penis is, it could be 4 inches long stiff for all I care. THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS IF I GET RAPED

>>11064235
leave u fucking nigger, how many times do you people hav to be told?