/lit/ - Literature

That rain sentence makes no sense.

Also, read a lot. Write a lot.

>>10964830
>As the sun poured over the horizon, tears of the angels danced on the last man on earth. And then his eve came to him.

>>10964850
It wasn't supposed to, just a bunch of shit put together.

>>10964830
>in my solitude I was

I fear I have done this front to back wording many times in essays and posts made that I thought were clearly written. Only after refreshing my memory on grammatical rules that this is for the most part fully sloppy and should be eliminated in any attempt at writing for an audience.

>>10964830
>in my solitude I was and will be, forever.

ouch, I just cut myself

Looks like your destiny is writing the Elliott Rodger novelization

>>10964830
Sorry didnt proof read my post there
>in my solitude I was
I fear I've played this front to back wording many times straight in essays and posts that I thought were clearly written, only after refreshing my memory on grammatical rules (like today lol) did I learn this is objectively sloppy and should be eliminated in any attempt at writing for an audience.

>>10964870
Self correction:
>Played straight many times
Phoneposting damages clarity anon. This is all I've learnt.

Don't try and be or do anything.

Just write facts.

>Rain hit the window, coming in sideways on gale force winds. Doubtless the patio was swept clean but Smith couldn't see through the wall of water just by moonlight. The power had gone out ages ago - back when this hurricane had only been a storm - and now everything beyond the dim glow of his gas lantern was just black. Black, and wet.

Then you can go back and edit it for precision and """depth""".

Don't expect to get the final draft down on your first try. Editing is the process of going over your work and asking yourself "Is this the best possible paragraph to have in this particular place in my novel? Is this the best possible sentence to be there in that paragraph? Is this the best possible word?"

Usually the answer is no.

I really can't give any tips, but here's how I would probably write your sentence.

>I woke up early one rainy day. The window had been left cracked open all night, allowing the aroma of the morning dew to seep in and fill the bedroom. It would still be a while before the sun truly rose, but I could not go back to sleep. I laid awake in bed, deciding instead to simply enjoy the peace and quiet.

Only tip I could really give, I guess, would be to avoid using "solitude" or the exact time of day. I would try to show the reader that the speaker is enjoying being alone in the morning and also allow the reader to figure out about what time the story takes place.

>>10964830
First off, stop writing in first person.

Find a writer you like and write a few thousand words in imitation of him. Seriously, plagiarize that shit until you understand the writer's objective.
Stephen King is a good one for this exercise.

>>10964830
you have to stretch some informations.
Try to write one-page only about "5:00am" and then go on describing your elementary experiences with the rain!

>>10964932
>him
male chauvinist pig

>>10964891

I worry your phrasing may be damaging to Op only as 'best possible' should be 'for my story as I see it fit.' Only as it could encourage an overly manufactured peach-perfect autism simmilar to parsing for the most technically precise word to express a casual thought, mistaking clarity for clarification. To be clear OP, this guys right just don't do anything autistic.

>>10964955
By "best possible" I mean the perfect word to convey exactly what you (the author) intends to convey, bearing in mind atmosphere and audience and all that jazz.

An author writes a book to communicate something to his audience, and if we have a goal we have a metric by which we can measure success. All you have to do to analyse a book is break the message of the novel down into chapters, the chapters into scenes, the scenes into paragraphs, the paragraphs into sentences, and the sentences into words. There is a perfect unbroken chain of decision from the word to the whole message of the book.

>>10964855
Nice desu

>>10964964
>bearing in mind audience and atmosphere

Yeah were on the same page I fully agree

>>10964830
>in my solitude I was and will be, forever.
Gah. Don't ever write the word "solitude" for any reason, don't write in first person, and don't use internal information. If your narration doesn't know anyone's thoughts or feelings, you can actually show instead of telling.

>>10964865
I agree desu! I don't think a talented writer could do Elliott justice, they would pull back at embracing the cringe.

>>10964925
Imagine believing no good book was ever written in first person.

>>10965159
Not who you're replying to but I assume the actual problem is writing first person from the boring ass unfiltered perspective of an average guy in his late teens or twenties.

>>10965159
I said nothing of the sort. Those instructions are just useful constraints to break young autobiographical angst-ridden writers out of their safe space. I don't intend them as any eternal rules, I'm just suggesting them as a useful exercise for OP.

>>10965186
Why are you trying to take credit for my suggestion?

>>10965195
What? My suggestions are here:
>>10965107

>>10965299
He was responding to me, the person who suggested it first. >>10964925

You got some real nerve, buddy.

>>10965329
Damn, I got confused. I sincerely apologize and would like to buy you a beer.

>>10964921
>>10964891
these are boring

>>10965107
>don't write in first person, and don't use internal information
you should drop this

>>10964830
>It was almost 5am, you could tell by the light. The rain went on battering at the windows as I watched, convinced the sun had, as it were, set forever, I'd always be alone. She smiled and opened the window.

>>10964830
Tip from an editor of mine when I was a teen. "Stop trying to be a writer and just write something."

Hemingway is amazing because he never tried to "be a writer."

>>10964830
Wow what is this amateur shit? You gotta write like you’re in the 19th century and trying to simultaneously imitate Proust, Joyce, Melville, Nabokov, Henry James, and Pynchon.

>It was 5:00am. Rain hit the window, in my solitude I was and will be, forever. She smiled.
>’Twas that winsome slightly bright hour, when the sun did begin to radiate a very dim faint yellowish-orange fog from ‘neath the horizon, of five past midnight. Rain did strike against the window like the aqueous phallus of a wave thrusting against a sand-castle (for glass, dear reader, is made of sand), and in my impenetable fortress of icy solitude I was for all eternity and am and shall be forever and ever, as the raven croaks nevermore and stars wheel through their courses in the dark uncaring cosmic void...

>A smirk faintly twirled and pirouetted on her lips before brilliantly blooming and exploding into the vivid red carnation of a smile.

>>10965620
Haha I hope you don't actually write like this

>>10964830
You're trying to hit too hard. Try to produce lil bits of emotion before trying to depress folks in one line.

>>10965934

>>10964830
Read a lot of fiction that doesn't sound like an edgy high schooler and imitate it.

>>10965620
>for glass, dear reader, is made of sand
>as the raven croaks nevermore
i know its a joke but still

>>10964830
Just read authors that you think are good, then try to shamelessly copy their style as much as you can.

If you can pull of a convincing copy of another style that is good writing, then you'll be well on your way to producing an original decent style.

baby steps, anon, baby steps