/lit/ - Literature

>>10956888

>i am become
>wojack

what the fuck

>>10956888
That's hot desu

>>10956888

>be 18 year old pseud
>lonely and sad; take frequent strolls inside the midsummer of my thoughts to get away from the gruesome world
>finally find a lovely stray waif to call mine own
>believe she's pure, untouched, untainted
>one day she agrees to lend me her fair hand
>lift her soft, tender legs calmly and enrapture one another in a event of reciprocal beauty
>turns out she already got jiggy with her daddy
>now sad fivever

>>10956888
>be 19 year old pseud
>go to a lot of pretentious bands concerts
>read a lot of pretentious books (or at least i thought [infinite jest, rainbow, uly, etc.])
>have standarts off the fucking roof
>3 years i still don't have a girlfriend

Now i either want a super deep girlfriend who will listen to Trout Mask Replica with me or i want the biggest bimbo whore that has ever lived that i will fuck and dump constantly. I am so conflicted.

>be 18 year old pseud
>do nothing
>nothing happens to me
I don't remember a lot from that time

>>10956888
this actually sounds like a good short story. not bad desu. take comfort in that at least your life experience has literary merit.

>>10957050
standards are just another way of trying to have control over the relationship, you showcase it perfectly in the second part of your post, especially with the "that i will fuck and dump" because you aren't the one that's getting dumped in your fantasy, that's actually justified because that's the only kind of control you will feel in your life (this is actually true for everyone)

>>10957096
Don't worry guy i have embraced my own patheticness and i don't think i care as much as i used to do anymore. Instead of that im trying to focus more on creative and constructive things (and reading books).

>>10957050
I know this isn't what you want to hear but a gf isn't the answer. I mean it makes you feel a lot better and secure to have one but as soon as they're gone it's back to square one, and if you chose like me to not focus on developing yourself positively during that time from personal laziness and comfort in your relationship then you will be much worse off than before. At the same time being a virgin incel for too long probably becomes a pit impossible to extricate oneself from. Basically getting laid enough to take the edge off is the answer, or else you have to risk your entire sense of self and future for the sake of falling in love.

>>10956888

Was she difficult? I dated a girl who was molested by her father as a kid and she was extremely hard work.

>>10956900
It's grammatically correct, and even superior to whatever is next [saying the same thing].

>>10957126
Frankly im just being a part time shithead and part time failed artist. I don't think id make the first move to any girl (unless they are literally THE ONE) and in my spare time i just throw shit at a wall with everything ive got and then just lock everything up once im done because i cannot even imagine what it would be like if someone in my life learned about all my music, paintings,writings and poems

>>10957126
Rarely does anyone on this board give good advice about relationships, romantic and otherwise. It's refreshing to see that.

>>10956888
So....what? She expected you to hate the book, and hate Humbert, and come out of it ranting about how you were going to go find a pedo and the you and him would get nude and you'd wrestle and box him to a bloody death, then you'd embrace her and whisper, "I did this for you baby, I know, I knew the second you suggested the book, shh...shh...I know baby, You have me now, I can destroy them all for you," and then you rode off in a horse drawn carriage or something?

Good riddance to the nutty, passive, hint dropping bitch. Handle her shit like an adult.

>>10957110
the thing I said is actually meant to be something positive about all those things, I've seen people being in a relationship (usually when they hit 30) because it's their last chance of forming a family, they use their partner to achieve their goal of having kids, another form of control, I don't know if it cancels out if it's mutual, I'm not placing a bet on that one

I'm currently trying to figure out a way out of this and that might mean reconstructing my standards, making them more dynamic or whatever, this might end with me offing myself

>>10957148
I don't think i could do it yknow. If they told me that either i would pick a basic instagram retard or be alone forever i might actually choose the latter. I cannot fathom living in the same house for the rest of my life with a soul who has no interest in art culture ANYTHING besides looking at cat gifs on leddit.

>>10956888
That sounds like a good book to read

>>10957126

Gonna back this up. Also if you're still young then just try and find a girl to date/sleep with for a while without expecting anything special. Basically those early years are your best time for making mistakes and learning from them. Aiming to make mistakes sounds silly but you'll learn a lot which will help immeasurably when it comes to crunch time. Most people's first proper relationships end horrible and it's because neither party has learned how not to make a relationship fail.

And this needn't be the case just for relationships.

Not /lit/ so polite sage.

>>10957169
global rule 7

>>10957126
Fug this is describing my relationship to a T. I became to comfortable and reverting back to my old ways. Always sucked at being spontaneous too. Gfs are fucking hard man

>>10957184
They're not actually that hard. The problem is you have to have your shit pretty well together, and so does she. Which....just isn't going to happen if you're below 25 or so, and even after that isn't easy to find.

>>10957180

Sorry I meant my post not the OP

>>10957169
>Most people's first proper relationships end horrible and it's because neither party has learned how not to make a relationship fail.

Delete this.

>>10956888

You did nothing wrong anon, you didn't justify that behavior or glorify it but rather explicitly denounced it.

She's an emotionally damaged nut that sperged out due to her own insecurities. If it wasn't over this then it would have soonly been something else. Don't dwell on it.

>>10957215
>I meant my post
I know

>>10957219

Not all, just a rule of thumb. My sister married her first boyfriend. You've got hope.

>>10957050
This is me to a tee

>>10957050
Let's not ruin women with Captain Soyheart.

>>10957230
dont give him hope, crush him

>>10957230
No, mine already failed, and I've been trying to recapture everything that it was but keep it together this time, but I can't

>>10956888
typical shit woman
>tries to connect with you through a fog of secrecy and implied meaning when direct communication would be more efficient and rational.

Move on and maybe go gay cause you'll never escape these creatures' bullshit

>>10956888
>this actually happened, and isn't a clever inverted pastiche of /lit/'s favorite meme book written in order to be nicer to women because of the earlier rape victim book suggestions thread

Nice prose OP.

*in order to teach /lit/ how to be nicer dammit stupid phoneposting

>>10956888
>>'isn't it impressive how Nabokov, to some extent, manages to make us care for and, indeed, even sympathize with a man of such loathsome inclinations?'
>>she had trusted me to see beyond the veneer of Humbert's enticing verbal virtuosity and not be seduced by it
These are practically the same statements. Both of them express you are aware of the tricks being used to present Humbert and his actions in a sympathetic light. I have good news for you OP. She was a brainlet since she couldn't realize the two opinions were exactly the same. You did good in dropping her.

>>10957259
jesus i bet that girl is a yuge slut

>>10957269
*chokes /lit/ to death or at least brain death*

>>10957146
>ome out of it ranting about how you were going to go find a pedo and the you and him would get nude and you'd wrestle and box him to a bloody death, then you'd embrace her and whisper, "I did this for you baby, I know, I knew the second you suggested the book, shh...shh...I know baby, You have me now, I can destroy them all for you," and then you rode off in a horse drawn carriage or something?
that would be even more humbert and you should finish the book

>be 18 year old pseud
>gf gives me a copy of Ulysses for my birthday
>I'm blown away by its intricate prose and fractured narrative
>rave about what masterfully constructed characters Bloom, Stephen, Molly, and more characters are for weeks on end
>'isn't it impressive how Joyce, to some extent, manages to make us care for and, indeed, deeply get into the heads of such wildly different characters, while also making us see what they have in common — a common humanity? Not only that, but to make us see that such a meek and mild everyman character as Bloom really is a modern-day hero for his virtues of patience, tolerance, kindness, and empathy, a modern-day Ulysses?”
>she doesn't engage, gets this weird look on her face whenever I bring it up
>one day she starts to sob during sex
>worriedly ask her what's the matter
>pandoras_box.exe
>find out that she is heavily against the Jewish-Masonic-Satanic-Bolshevik-Illuminati influence on our society
>the book was meant to ease me into her world, to help her explain the apprehensions she felt about the breakdown and degeneration of modern society, the arts, and culture, which started even with such modernist and avant-garde literature as Ulysses, revered by Jewish-postmodernist-Bolshevik critics as a “masterpiece”
>she had trusted me to see beyond the veneer of Joyce’s enticing verbal virtuosity and not be seduced by his inane ramblings about people shitting, peeing, picking their nose, sexual fantasies and the glorification of a psychologically emasculated masochistic Jewish cuckold
>says there is subtle textual evidence and references made to Bloom being a Freemason, and Bloom’s androgynous psyche fits with Joyce’s references to Hermetic, alchemical, and Masonic images of the Divine Androgyne, matching the Jewish-Bolshevik-Masonic-Satanist-postmodernist-Illuminati elite’s obsession with blurring gender roles with feminism and the heavy focus on transgenderism, wanting to make us all androgynous neutered sheep so we’re easier to herd
>under the weight of this realization, I crumble
>I am become Bloom within my own mind with no means to overcome him except the autocastration brought on by my awareness of this very fact
>our sexual encounters turn into a nightmarish Circean corruption of what innocent, youthful lust is supposed to be
>can't come to terms with my fractured sexuality which eventually leads to our break-up
>haven't been able to establish a relationship with a woman ever since
How did pseudery ruin your life?

>>10957269
missalice

>>10957128
>>10957146
She was extremely difficult. Eating disorder, fantasies of putting herself in danger and lots of weird emotional outbursts.
I don't know exactly what kind of reaction she wanted. My biggest fear is that some part of her actually wanted me to become her new abuser, or at least confront me with the idea that I was one, for some reason. She often made me feel like a rapist and then explained it away with a smile and told me she loved me for being such a good guy.
Messed me up and now I can't maintain an erection with a woman after more than five years.
>>10957076
>>10957168
Thank you, this is the first time I've let anyone know. Maybe it would be therapeutic to write it down.

>>10957412
Listen buddy, I’m going to tell you something and it’s going to sound harsh but it’s ultimately for your own good: that woman sounds like a stupid slut. Manipulative, emotionally stunted, passive-aggressive, and a warped soul. There are some people like that — typically women — who have their own fucked up psychodynamics and take it out on others. They’re like carriers of the plague. They infect others with their own insanity and glorification of negative emotions. They are people who, because they themselves feel they can only suffer, consciously or not want to cause as many people to suffer with them.

You were barely dating a human being. You were dating a reflex-machine, an unconscious bearer of malevolence, a warped and definitional robot. Stop caring about her.

Really, how should anyone be expected to have such a reaction to the novel? Whether she intended it or not, she was being a malicious cunt by making you feel guilty for something you had no control over and no intentional malice in. Fucking cunt to be honest. And I’m not angry as I write this even if it sounds like it, just calmly cynical.

>>10957255
It actually happened. I could never be that clever and I wouldn't want to be that didactic. It's an interesting Barthesian interpretation though, I prefer it over mine.

>>10957128
>>10957412
I might be an autist but why associate with such people that are difficult to even be around? Where you have to watch every word you say because it might set them off. I'd like a partner or partners where I don't have to babysit their childish tantrums. If someone revealed themselves as mentally unstable to the point where they push their stress and dysphoria onto me I would end the relationship there. I don't understand why someone would put up with that for no good reason unless they were equally unstable.

>>10957240
/thread

>>10956900
I am becoming Wojack, sufferer of feels

>it's another college age /lit/ kids whining about girls thread

>>10957515
Sometimes love is about more than comfort.

>>10957412
Sounds like a classic case of borderline.Despite how much 4chan complains about women most of them are fine as long as you avoid the ones with cluster B personality disorders.

>>10957560
All I know is that I don't understand it right now. Maybe I will in the future. Seems like a drag and a bit of a distraction. From my perspective, these people don't want to be loved, they just want to push their distress onto someone else, but I suppose it depends on the particular case.

>>10957568
>>10957515
There are a lot of guys out there with low self-esteem who will put up with almost anything for a girl to have sex and validate them occasionally

>>10957128
Now I'm wondering if I was molested but I just don't remember

>>10957566
>tfw I'm a male cluster B who is probably borderline

>>10957588
That's what the pessimist in me thinks too. I guess it's somewhat romantic at he very least.

>>10957605
It's basic human selection. Men will go with almost any woman who deems them a viable partner, even if they are mentally unstable. Women are a lot more picky since they carry the burden of childbirth and can't risk the man leaving after impregnation. If they are left a single mother then they are left in a position where they must expend a lot of energy in raising the child without any help. That is why they may often hold out sex for a long time. If they force you to put a lot of energy into the relationship before sex then it makes sense for you to follow through with taking care of your children, otherwise the romance period would have been a waste of energy and time on your part. Since women are so picky it becomes a case that your existence is basically validated if one chooses you as a mate. If no woman wants to be with you then it basically tells you that your genetic material isn't worth being passed on. It's kind of like natural eugenics ain't it?

Good job for not getting the point of the book you retard. Your gf gave you the pseud test and you failed spectacularly. Also that writing is the gayest shit ever.

>>10956888
>18 yo
>gf
Where do you think you are normalfaggot?

>>10957568
I probably idealize my past relationships more than I'm aware, but some of my best experiences have been with people that are different than me. There is something rewarding about coming to an understanding with someone who thinks differently than you. Likewise those differences make the common ground more meaningful. Of course it's nice to be around someone who is fine doing what you find comfortable sometimes. But at other times you want something different than yourself.

This is probably too preachy so I'll stop.

>>10957642
Yeah but how and why do these guys and girls take relationships so seriously if they are aware of this information? Is it cognitive dissonance or cultural obligation or something else? There are so many people on this Earth. So many it's impossible to remember even a fraction of them as individuals. If one relationship doesn't work out for whatever reason, why do most people find it so difficult to just move on? I know they invested time in these relationships, but they waste more time by staying with an unstable person they will inevitably be separated from. Can't those who participate in these relationships just mutually understand what you stated and realize the futility in assigning their sense of worth to their relationship status? I might just be autistic but I don't understand.

>>10957529
feels bhagavad, man

>>10957076
Dream sequences are for fags

>>10956888
Patrician life anon.

>>10957695
I don't think people are acutely aware of the darwinian reality of relationships. It is an evolutionary stable system among humans that long term relationships are more common than short term relationships. Human children take about 20 years and a whole lot of resources to fully develop. It requires a lot of energy to raise even one child for this long so you need a partner to help you out. If you are attracted to a woman and she accepts you then your brain releases chemicals that make you want to stay with her instead of leaving right after having sex. Genes for short termism, like having sex once and leaving, are a minority, but cultural influence since the sexual revolution has managed to amplify the behaviour. But in general humans have a genetic tendency towards long term relationships and your genes don't really care if the relationship is imperfect. The conditions for the chemicals in your brain were met and not you are going to want to stay with that woman even if the relatinship is pretty awful. And the woman isn't likely to go easy on you. She wants you to be the best assistant in the child rearing process you can possibly be so she will scrutinise and correct your behaviour to no end. Of course, the reasoning is often irrational but that's what you are in for if you settle for a low IQ female.

>>10957771
Thanks for the detailed post. Relationships as you described them really don't sound appealing at all. Artificial wombs and zygote engineering when??

>>10957771
>that's what you are in for if you settle for a low IQ female.
What makes it differen't for high iq females? I'm calling bullshit on this last part. if relationship are truly Darwinian then what you said would count for everyone in the same species. Afaik high iq people aren't another species.

Should have shown her those japanes cartoonshows you have bookmarked to help her understand it is not a big deal

>>10957799
A female with high IQ may make less unreasonable demands on you in a relationship. They will still make demands but I would expect them to be less questionable. It's just a reasonable guess more than anything. A female with 150 IQ is going to be more competant than one with 90 IQ. I'm not really sure what your issue with it is.

>>10957799
>Darwinian then what you said would count for everyone in the same species. Afaik high iq people aren't another species.

High IQ people have an easier time sublimating their initial impulses. We know that IQ is a significant variable factoring into different outcomes in life. Why wouldn't it factor into relationships and child rearing? Especially considering that women need to process the emotional content of events before they get down to analyzing things with reason.

>>10957126
When you're young relationships serve as a good way to learn about the reality of interaction between the sexes. If you make an effort to actually learn from your experiences.

I've learned that dating girls with mental issues is foolish. The first and only girl I've ever loved had bad abandonment issues. She was adopted and then her adoptive parents had a divorce. When she was comfortable enough to share her fantasies with me she told me that her biggest sexual fantasy is the random hookup. She wanted us to go to a bar seperately and pretend not to know each other. Then have me sweet talk and pick her up and take her home and fuck her like a madman.

This was a red flag so large that I couldn't ignore it. I broke it off a couple weeks after she told me although I didn't tell her that her fantasy was the reason. She was insanely clingy throughout the whole relationship but the idea that her biggest fantasy was to be fucked by a rando I knew that it was destined to fail.

Since then I've avoided girls with issues wholeheartedly. The old adage " don't stick your dick in crazy " is very true. Unfortunately most young men need to be burned before they internalize it.

>>10956888
>she had trusted me to see beyond the veneer of Humbert's enticing verbal virtuosity and not be seduced by it
Waste of trips. You got immersed. Humbert wasn't writing, It was Nabokov. Psued GF was even more psued than Psued. You dodged a bullet. Should have enjoyed kinky kreayhole while it lasted (for next time.) Anything not-your wife has a sell by.

>>10957324
>>find out that she is heavily against the Jewish-Masonic-Satanic-Bolshevik-Illuminati influence on our society
(((Bloom))) was a good mensch, he dindu nuffin

>>10957446
>bpd
At least that one was actually fiddled, there are plenty with no goddamn good reason to be apart from genetics/upbringing by 1 or more 1st degree relatives in that spectrum.

>>10957554
>>it's another college age /lit/ kids whining about girls thread
And ape fuckers without sages handy

>>10957840
>A female with 150 IQ is going to be more competant than one with 90 IQ.
At turning mental gymnastics to overdrive when they don't get their way.

put me in the screencap desu

I once met a girl that had 'realized' her father had abused her and she did some therapy for it. I didnt ask for details so i wonder what happened.

>>10957324
Good post

>>10957126
So what you are saying is we should get laid from time to time but never stale yourself with the same companion for to much time?

>>10957515

Late reply as this was a thread from last night and you're probably not here but... she didn't have emotional tantrums very often. She was just distant and would rarely express her emotions; she was knowingly repressed and admitted it all the time. It was my first proper relationship and because of that I didn't mind much because I didn't know any better. I hoped I could help her open up and feel better about herself but it drove me to a really bad place and I happily gave up on her in the end. I have many fond memories but she was not mentally well. Subsequent relationships made me feel really bad about that because I spent nearly two years with somebody who'd never actively kiss or hug me without me prompting first. That's just sad.

That said, I've dated other more 'normal' girls and they've been even worse for emotional tantrums, mostly because they've been extremely close to their families and it seems that they're too used to the other party giving them exactly what they want, which never happens in any relationship. I've had to actively watch what I say on numerous occasions as they've been extremely sensitive to hearing criticism when there wasn't any intended. It's difficult to accept but GF1 was probably better than all of them. At this point I'm stuck simply not trusting any woman below the age of 25 to have the maturity to deal with a relationship.

I now just read books to pass the time.

You should've beaten her and then raped her, asserting your new dominance over her and destroying her father's control.
Then she would've been happy.

>>10957148
>this might end with me offing myself

kek

>>10956888
your gf was a cunt desu. that setup seems designed to trip you up.

>>10957446
you ought to read freud, people have problems, it is not their choice because their parrents failed in enabeling personal choice in them. of course, having a relationship with them is misserable, because they are sick withouth knowing it. If you fall in love with such a person, it speaks volumes about yourself

>Tried reading Lolita at 16
>Mum booked a therapist appointment for me a week later.
At least she cares.

>>10957515
Lots of people have issues and some degree of stress shit is normal. Not anything as extreme as OPs though, usually.

>>10957230
>>10957219
this is primarily dependent on the woman.

Success rates of couples get exponentially worse the more partners the woman has had.

>>10957137
Is there a way out? Without offing oneself. Feels like in the end its always the same there is no way out for the timid.

plebbit's /r/4chan says hi