/lit/ - Literature

Many things. (ask me anything) Would like some feedback on some writing I just made though.

I noticed her first, all the way from the pick-up counter, smile-parting with the barista.
Sitting a person's length from me, I look up from my Sappho again, she stares at her cup warming her knees. Looking up we exchange smiles.
My eyes linger a beat, so she points her nose to the cover of my book, I lift it in reply.
She searches her phone for If Not, Winter. I see her interest pique.
Finally she makes a show of her bracelet with a rainbow trinket dangling from it.
I feel obliged to brush the new silver hairs behind my ears, soberly putting my eyes back into my fragments, suddenly not so interested in her.

>>10927882
I can't think of the name of the guy who writes those ridiculous erotica e-books and it's really bugging me.

damn i missed my chance to masturbate today

>>10927891
I thought you were gay

>>10927891
that didn't suck as bad as i expected

>>10927882
Humans are not worthy of making it out of the 22nd Century, we should be genocided

>>10927901
man u sure suck at reading my dude

>>10927904
>we should be genocided

By whom, faggot?

>>10927909
you know what i mean

>>10927901
No. Homosexual woman. Lesbian.
>>10927902
Thanks.

>>10927895
The dinosaur sex ones?

>>10927904
We're good enough alright. Not sure if we'll pull it off though.
Trouble is we're not allowed to live up to our potential. Nietzsche was right about that.

>>10927891
>tripfag
>(ask me anything)
>shitty writing

/lit/, who the fuck is this person, are they a gimmick

>>10927891
Is it really you, Butters? I thought you finally left us.

>>10927910
otherworldly forces, nature, enlightened executioners

aliens

>>10927939
zhe fell off the wagon and relapsed to shitposting we all have

>>10927895
fucking chuck tingle duh

>>10927882
I really wish tripfags were banned

A friend of mine is homeless
he gets NEETbucks but is too lazy to look for an apartment
I don't know what to say to him to encourage him to get his shit together

>>10927882
My mind it really fucking empty right now. I need a hobbie or something.

>>10928010
>hobbie

take up learning how to spell

Everything this girl tells me just sounds like what's true and what I don't want to hear. She tells me she wouldn't care if I stopped talking to her but that for the time being, she's completely mine in every way. She's so honest with me. Nothing she says hurts. It just feels like the truth. There's no malice. I can't talk to her. I could be right now, but I'm not. I run out of what to say after a while.

>>10928012
Your meanie. ;(

Why did you make this thread? The old one doesn't have 200 posts yet. Fucking idiot.

>>10927891
Which year of shitposting are you celebrating

>>10928028
What year was /pol/ still /news/?

Everything would be a lot better for virtually everyone if all races were split into homogenous societies kept in their respective homelands.

>>10928067
Basically every ethnic group already has this, the exception is just most white Western nations.

I feel existentially fucked

>>10928067
Whites would not accept this as they would lose most of their wealth
>>10928076
Whites inhabit nations they stole so no

>>10928085
And I don't want americans in my country

>>10928067
And do you understand why they do this shit? >>10928085

Money.

>tfw no loli gf

>>10927928
>woman

>>10928028
man that Anonymous guy needs to chill out haha

>>10928019
what does she say?

>>10928019
Go fuck her right now

>>10928155
She openly tells me exactly how she feels about me. No bullshit, no games, I know exactly what's at stake. We just started talking to fuck, but we both ended up becoming more attached than either one of us intended. I hate opening up to others, but she pushes so much that I feel vulnerable whenever I talk to her.

>>10928167
I would if I could Anon. I'm seeing her again on Monday for sure, but I might see her tomorrow. Don't know yet. I want her all for myself.

I just need to find something that I am truly passionate about pursuing in life. That is it. But I still don't know what that is into my late 20's. Fuck.

Sleep tight cato

>>10928380
what are some things you think are cool?

I hope I get a new job soon. I hope I can move to a city with people my age. I hope I can meet a nice girl. I hope I can live in a cozy apartment and have a window I can look out at night and see the lights of the buildings downtown. I hope my friends come visit me in the new city.

>>10927882
Life really is beautiful.

>it's another "anon turns an argument about something trivial into a claim of superiority over others" episode

>passover starts
>psycho anti-semitic troll suddenly gone

really flags my falsies

>>10927891
Hi. You're posts were always great. But this place isn't the same as it once was, you needn't humour yourself by posting here.

>>10927891
Hi. Your posts were always great. But this place isn't the same as it once was, you needn't humour yourself by posting here.

I fucking hate robots and dream of leading an antirobo revolution like in Dune

I'm dating a black girl, my parents are raxist as fuck. What do?

>>10931530
tell them you picked up a new sex slave

>>10931535
/lit/ is so unpopular that team bullshit barely affects it lmao

hi
im high
how high are you?

I am 20 and half years old now and I need to make myself desireable to find a cute virgin wife before it's too late.

>>10931574
>>10931840
Typical cremefaggotry

I have outlined and begun writing an erotic novel and a middle-aged single mom falling in love with her personal trainer and gradually turning into his submissive sex pet. While this is happening, she has to hide her newfound identity from her teenage son and his friends.

I'm planning to write it from the son's point of view, as a retrospective. Also, milf tits are fucking amazing and why aren't there more books about middle-aged women discovering their sexuality? Why do I have to make everything I want to see? My fetishes aren't weird or unique, so why's this so hard?

Uhhh, hey there, cool outdoorsy lady in class who sits in front of me,
You’re a hikey leafy earthy crunchy hippie too, so I think we should unite and make some serious green energy

You wear REI brand thermals, a puffy, and worn out chacos that don’t even match, Goddamn, to any wilderness guiding mountain desert douchebag like me that’s a fucking catch.

In my heart I own it, that I’m traveled, read, insightful, experienced, badass and strong.
But when it comes to the ladies that all goes out the window, and I feel so wrong.

But no, it’s just the beginning! Or so I hope, of me living out every single cheesy outdoor couple instagram trope!

We could get done with this whole film school thing, and I’d be like, “hey, pretty rough and tumble girl, why don’t we just live on the road, and buy a van, adopt some dogs and not pay rent or have an address and sleep outside, and go to every goddamn national park we can”

And you’d say “hell yeah I really like you, funny cute outdoorsy dude, that sounds pretty awesome, I’d like to live my life a little more muddy dirty and rude, but I just have one question... how in the hell are we gonna afford food?”

And I’d just shrug and as the trunk slams we’d just laugh, as my folks march up the driveway and spit their math.

And our parents would freak, they’d be all like “oh no! These dumb kids with their dreams, just driving out into the middle of the country with nowhere else to go!
They don’t have jobs and mortgages, our baby boomer sensibilities are crashing and burning!”
But we wouldn’t flinch because we’re chasing after all the things for which our hearts had been yearning.
We’d have each other, under the sparkling desert sky where we’d be the only ones in the world watching the universe turning.

I’d point up at the stars, and tell you a couple of those romantic two thousand year old Greek stories,
We’d move in closer, like Perseus And Andromeda, and reveal to each other all of our hopes and fears and worries.

And I’d look into your soul, and see the reflection of a billion suns vanish as your eyes closed, and at this point my chest hurts but like in a good way and we’d both move in for the-

Dude, Goddamn, Jeez slow down, you’re still back east in this gritty grungy college town!
You gotta relax and not think about potential futures bro
Right now you’re just a thing in her schedule, quit projecting on this ho

Just be cool, just be yourself, and get quietly excited,
Go drink coffee, and talk, and ask her questions to see what can be ignited

This whole thing that you just wrote is cringy as fuck, and oh god she’s like a literal 10 out of 10, you’re punching way above your weight class, you can’t BELIEVE your luck!

So yeah, chill till Tuesday, and dream of the summer, but seriously though, fucking this one up would be a real bummer. I don’t even drink coffee

Inspired by Hobo Johnson: https://youtu.be/5MIVvnQHxeM

>>10927891
this tripfag needs to die

>>10931530
>stealing my team’s womyn
ayyo holup

>>10928380
Where have you been so far anon? What have you done?

I can't believe /fitlit/ was already a year ago. It feels like I've been suspended animation this year, operating as a zombie, waiting for some gears to click in place that never did.
This is the first year where I've been in control of my life, and I feel like I've made absolutely no progress towards where I want to be.
I know everyone has "wasted" years, fuckin Keats spent 3 years of his brief life training for a career he'd never practice, but it still feels bad.
I guess this is a quarter life crisis.

I'm feeling pretty out of it today, possibly because I've subsisted on green tea and a can of baked beans for the past two days. It's a shame, I was in a really productive mood last night and was hoping to get a lot done today.

>>10932291
I love that cat.

>>10932289
stay strong chocobro

>>10927882
This last two days(saturday and sunday) were really intense.

Yesterday I met this old friend of mine that I know since kindergarten. We didn't have a proper conversation in years so we decided to have a drink together and talk.
He really changed, both phisically and in behaviour. He used to be quite autistic and puny but now he is much more confident, started working out and he even plays in a band, while I had not much to show off and as he said I look pale and tired.
Anyways we exchanged numbers and promised to stay in contact, but probably I won't have the guts to call him just to prove furtherly how much worse thigs are.

Today I went out for lunch with my family and some friends of my parents. They have a daughter of about my age but I struggled to start a dialogue because she was quite a beauty and my mother made things awkward.
The lunch was okay, I had couple drinks with my father on the balcony of the restaurant as we were watching planes taking off from the close by airport and talking about life.

I should do my essay but i get distracted too much, what if i graduate uni with the lowest grade to a pass, what if i don't get a job after graduation, i hope i somehow manage to afford a house, i dont want to get married, will i ever improve my art, i dont want to do anything

>>10932077
christ you sound absolutely insufferable

>>10932077
... just stop

>>10932406
>he said I look pale and tired
I get this a lot, too
>talking about life
what did he say?

I fucking hate my sister. I muttered ‘fag’ under my breath and she threw a temper tantrum because ‘she’s a lesbian’ (actually she’s just a whore.) I told her to fuck off and she started screaming. my dad is dying of cancer and can’t move from his chair. he wanted me to apologize and threatened to kick me out if I say fag again. she’s 22 and works minimum wage like 30 hours a week and smokes weed. she was in rehab recently for cocaine. she’s always the victim of course because my parents are afraid she’ll resort to drugs and because she always takes the politically correct moral high-ground. you can’t say fucking anything without her getting mad. she called JK Rowling a literary genius and said she didn’t want to argue about it

>>10932406
sounds comfy

>>10933113
He told me some anecdotes from when he used to serve for the Army, like how much he hated the all night Vigil and when they had him escort a wagon of ammunitions from a city to another in midwinter. It was really cold and they only had a little woodstove to warm three people. The train only stopped at rarely used stations so that it would not draw too much attention on it and only for about fifteen minutes during which my father (the younger of the bunch) was sent out to collect firewood.
He was constantly scared of being left behind, but that never happened luckily . When they arrived to destination he took the longest shower of his life (about three hours) because he was as black as coal from being costantly exposed to the stove and the dust in the old wagon. He asked a week off after this but they wouldn't grant him if it were not for his comrades who took a liking of him.

Then we just had a general talk concerning some health issues my grandma is having, my studies, future projects...

>>10933282
That's weird, my team changed

Hello.
just need to know my team.
nothing on my mind

>>10933143
you sound like pathetic trash, honestly. not as much as your whore sister, but you are pathetic trash nontheless

>>10933307
this truth needed to be spoken

I dont know if my poetry is good enough to publish, and Im getting an itch about it.

>>10933332
It did happen cause I think I remember
Of one time I was deep in slumber
A place like sunny little september
Had fruit dripping its gracious nectar
But it has since been forgotten

Some say it didnt happen
And
Some do say
One such as I
Were but forgotten
As children
In a holy play

Where we were
Out in the garden
A place we fought and sang
For our forgotten Eden
And its fruits of blossom
With their eternal rind

There we riped in the Garden
Warm and full for ever
From an internal September
That gave rose to life and sun
And in this place from our slumber
We wonder when this has begun

For we sing in somber
For those who do not remember
about the One And his Eden
The One who
Who says all
All is mine

I'm beginning to think my entire life is going to be like this.

>>10933307
reading back my post I sound like a selfish, malignant asshole. better to be called out on your behavior on an anonymous image-board than by people you know. nonetheless I think I can live with being pathetic trash if I can succeed financially

I don't understand this teams shit, /fitlit/ was much better.

The only thing i have left in life is death.

I get crippled by even the most basic decisions. I feel like my life is going nowhere because i can't make a firm decision about anything. How do i stop being an indecisive piece of shit?

my anus feels weird and my turds have been very dark brown lately i hope there isnt something wrong with my ass

>>10933415
i think u sound ok, my sister is also an asshole with a lot of resentment and substance abuse issues but she makes a lot of money so my family wont say shit but when i mention that i dont like her they look at me disapprovingly but nod with some sort of understanding

I wish creme was winning again
It was a good time back then

>>10933515
somebody predicted it was all a setup and chocolate would win at the end, but maybe it goes by continents and shit and everyone from some went to sleep idk cuz there was like no creme for the first hour last night

I really just want to know which team i am

Cashews give me minor acid reflux

>>10933343
I don't like it. It's just boring. And your repetition of "September" and "Slumber" is awkward, instead of suggesting the importance of those words it just sounds like you ran out vocabulary. Also I don't like the rhythm.

Post in the critique thread.

Someone I went to high school with killed himself last week. Not someone I knew real well, or talked to in almost ten years, but sad nonetheless. He never shared anything about depression online, the only way I still heard from him, so there's not much in the ways of "what could I have done" grief on my part. The thing I really struggle with is people's responses. I don't really keep up with anyone I went to high school with except via Facebook, and everything I know about this is through posts on there.
I've never seen death/grieving through an entirely online lens. I wish I didn't sound so cynical and bitter, but some of the things people shared about my classmate really bother me. Some of his close friends have shared some really heartfelt things that come from an honest place of compassion and reflection. And then there are many more peripheral acquaintances ("i sat with XXX in algebra twelve years ago, never talked to him and now i can't believe he's gone") who are interjecting with overblown and insincere things. Suddenly everyone was his best friend and it feels like a race to be the most grief-stricken. Yes, people are allowed to grieve as they wish, but particularly these posts inevitably become dominated with I, me, mine shit, and very thin on the person they're supposedly mourning.
Maybe the worst of all was his roommate, the person who found him dead in his bedroom, sharing an extremely graphic and detailed (and public) account of finding his body to make a point about how much discovering his suicide hurt him. Hardly anything from the roommate about their friendship or the apparently massive blind spot on the suicidal/depressive tendencies of someone you spent every day with.
It's one thing to think those kinds of things and keep it to yourself, talk about it privately, and probably in his roommate's case, pursue some kind of therapy. But sharing this kind of thing publicly on Facebook bothers me on so many levels. Posting on social media is an inherently self-centered act, and these post-mortem besties are hijacking someone's suicide for their own purposes ("oh nice, I got another like on my heartfelt tribute to whatshisname)") and painfully missing the fucking point. Your BFF killed himself because no one broke through to find the sad, desperate person because the people he was around were so fucking caught up in themselves. Really considering going offline for a bit after this.

Lucifer did nothing wrong.

I ate too much beef jerky so I thought I could compensate with prunes, but I was a fool and ate too many and now there's a war going on in my bowels.

>>10927882
Worries, as usual.

>>10933366

I'm having that thought too. It keeps me up at night. But that's apparently preferable to actually doing anything to change.

>>10928085
>"X" inhabit nations they stole
I'll take all of human history for 500, Alex.

I can only write if I'm depressed enough to want to pour my suffering out into words but not so depressed that I just lay around all day watching comedies.

Stagnate if you so choose. I'm too exhausted to believe in you anymore.

>>10927882
the most perverse polimorphous board

I hear music in my head all the time and I can't enjoy reading anymore because I can't concentrate. I fear I might be suffering some sort of prolonged mental breakdown.

I'm legitimately noticing a trend of chocolate mini posters exceptionally weird, dumb, or autistic

>>10934469
I have that same problem, and I've gotten so used to taking stimulants to help with concentration that now I feel like a retard without them. Currently can't stop hearing the same few melodic themes of a Prokofiev piece over and over again in my head and it's threatening to ruin it for me.

>>10932077
Fuck Hobo Johnson

>>10934501
What kind of stimulants? I usually just power through it and get into the story. Sometimes it's so easy I can go for hours, other times I can barely make it past a few minutes.

>>10934094
Witnessed similar behavior a couple years ago when a classmate of mine died.

Fingerpicking guitar is incredibly fun, but all of the genres that center themselves around it (ex. Blues and Folk) sound dull to me. The qualities of music I enjoy most are strong melodies and a beautiful tone, so naturally I'm a fan of Rock and Pop. That's a very run-of-the-mill preference, though, since any young adult from the past few decades could be assumed to share that taste. The answer, then, would lie in the generational gap, and musical exposure as a child. A lot of young kids today enjoy Led Zeppelin and Sinatra because they share the same foundation as modern pop, but vastly fewer like the old Blues greats or Bob Dylan because their appeal is almost foreign to the young audience by comparison.

If you guys have any good links or readings on this topic, by the way, I'd be glad to check them out. It's a fascinating topic.

>>10927882
I feel I am unfit for modern society so the best course is to kill myself

>>10934458

Every time I try something new I get shut down. Do you want me to actually move forward or not?

>>10934553
I do want you to move forward, anon. Ignore anyone who shuts you down. This is your life.

My post was about devotion and belief in someone who continued nonchalantly in regressive behavior, and would even act in destructive ways after I spilled my guts out about why they shouldn't.

>>10934530
Amphetamine. It'll kick your mind right into gear (though you may just end up spinning your wheels if you're not careful) but it's not a great idea to get in the habit of using it too much, it certainly can be detrimental to one's lifestyle.

>>10927882
I need to write more weight gain porn.

>>10934594
I've heard that's what usually happens with drugs that improve your performance. I don't drink even coffee for that reason; I am paranoid of becoming dependent. So I guess I'm in for pain no matter what I do, huh?

>>10934549
“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.” - Jiddu Krishnamurti

I can't take it anymore!

If I had people who loved me, they would be very worried!

>>10934749
We love you.

>>10927882
I still remember when I was 13, opening the door and finding this little black puppy wiggling between my feet. She couldn’t even walk across the hardwood floor and kept slipping with those massive paws of hers, the ones she eventually grew into, that would run and dig and smack me in the face when we roughhoused. Now she’s still having trouble walking, but it up her favorite hill to the beach instead. It’s her back legs that make me nervous, and that look on her face that old things get.
I know, it’s just a dog, that maybe this means I don’t know true pain or suffering or all the terrible things in the world but I don’t care. I know, there are millions of dogs, and millions of men who used to be millions little boys with millions of puppies but goddamit this is my dog.

I know that much of coping with life is learning to let go, and I’m no stranger to that. But I mean look at her. She’s my dog, and there is only one of those. I love her. Fuck.

>>10927882
>Бyдь мнoй
>Пoшeл нa cвидaниe c нeкpacивoй дeвyшкoй, имeющeй плoхoй вкyc в книгaх
>Cтapaeшьcя кaк мoжнo бeceдoвaть нopмaльнo c нeй и ocтaёшьcя нa cвидaнии из дoбpoты (coпpoтивляeшьcя жeлaнию cpaзy yбeжaть)
>Oнa нaмeкaeт, чтo иcпoлнитcя 30 лeт чepeз мecяцa двa
>Tы cpaзy чyвcтвyeшь, кaк мoлoдocть пpoхoдит
>Bпaдaeшь в дeпpeccию
>Bхoдишь в Trader Joe's и пoкyпaeшь кypицy
>Идeшь дoмoй, гoтoв кaк никoгдa shitpost on 4chan

I was Creamy and yearned for the Creamest. Now my team represents what I really am. The last place, the insignificant somebody, the mini in a pool of colossuses.

I'm a pathetic cunt that posits ridiculous ultimatums at God as some kind of proof that he exists even though I know better. I'll pray that he helps me with a girl I'm crushing on and automatically jump in my mind to him either shunning me for some sin or simply not existing when things don't go my way, despite consciously trying not to and knowing how petty and ridiculous that is. My faith is still new and fragile but I still disappoint myself with it all the time.

>>10934929
go away boris

>>10934850
>tfw my similar looking childhood dog just died
>tfw I as at uni when it happened
>tfw that scratch I gave him on the head as I left after Christmas break was the last time we ever spent together
I didn't need these feels anon.

>>10934850
>>10935237
I still frequently have dreams about my dead dog. He died 5 years ago. I was also in college when it happened. I should have been there with him when they put him down. A good dog deserves his owner by his side. I wish I could have pet him as he went to sleep.

Finally accomplished a major life goal. Feels good, mane.

i'm 23 now and feel just now aware of life. i know logically that it isnt too late but i feel behind. feels like a freak accidental death is around every corner and i'm too unfulfilled to go yet.

>>10935466
what your goal was? this is Boris asking you

>>10935413
>parents wait till the kids are off to college to euthanize the family turd factory

ice cold if u ax me

It really bothers me how I every time I come to these threads about half of the posts look like something I was just about to write myself. Nowhere in life or really anywhere else on the internet (with the possible exception of r/cumtown) do I see so many people with such similar thoughts as me. It's nice that I'm not alone, I suppose, but it makes me feel bad that I'm so unoriginal and you guys are saying what I want to say before I have the chance.

>>10935476
You're 23. You're young dude. Fucking young.

>>10935527
its true 23 is damn young the problem is tho if u think "im young i have so much time" then next thing you know youre 25, 27,30,35,40,,,so you better do something

>>10935537
Do something...what for? I'm just 25 and don't what to do anything for but life feels good man.

>>10935551
i feel u i used to be like that in my 20s just trollin on irc all day and wandering around all night listening music when the city clears out, etc. and it was p chill but like all that just blends into nothing, i mean years of chillin with the irc homies is just compressed down to like a couple little memories, and every night wandering listening to music, again is summed up in like two or three memories...idk life is really short if u dont do stuff because all the memories just kind of fuse together, like you dont remember every time u pick up your keys and lock your door or take a shit etc. because its so common every day shit but if u just cruise through life like that you'll have ten years that amount to about three days of memory and then you'll be like "damn life is so short!" when really it was ten years... just nothing happened...honestly in prison you probably have more memories, every so often someone gets stabbed to death, or stomped out, or somebody wins big in the gambling pool, or some guy has a psycho freak out, etc.

>>10927891
You should go out into the world and form relationships with actual humans instead of ogling coffee shop girl. Steve Martin wrote a story and made a movie called shop girl. It was shit. This is where youre headed

*Benoists's neck is soething else*

>>10935527
>>10935537
>spent years 19-21 fighting for my life against an awful case of negligent malpractice
>permanent physical damage
>2.5 years of physical and cognitive therapy
>climb a mountain
>reach the top and cry out to the world

Youth is wasted on the young.

Guys
What the fuck do I do

I want to fuck girls, but I have high virtues on sex, Do I let them go and say fuck it to tinder I go?

>>10935687
>high virtues

nice spooks bro what are you a fucking squire or something, do you say "m'lady" by chance? lmao

>>10935687
If you can't keep to your ideals there is no point in having any

>>10935702
But J keep masturbating and Im starting to get lonely, I need a lay. Its been to long.

>>10935695
I suppose, I like to uphold my higher beliefs so life is fun and light as a game.

>>10935709
Stop masturbating

None of you peanut butters speak Russian?

I've been reading Kafka for the first time this week: Great Wall Of China, A Hunger Artist, and Metamorphosis. This stuff reminds me that my most enjoyable reading has been short stories and novellas e.g. Lovecraft, Borges, Chekhov. I didn't enjoy Tolstoy's War and Peace near as much as his Death Of Ivan Ilyich and A Forged Coupon. At its best, the novella is the most potent literature medium.

>>10935717
I have a high sex drive and high T
:(
I can masturbate like 4 times under a half hour, but I try to only fap once or twice every few days

>>10935687
>>10935709
Obtain gf you fucking sperg. Or on second thought, don’t. You’re insufferable.

>>10935799
U

I always wanted to write some smutty erotic piece involving bondage and a few other things but then I always chicken out before I do so

>>10935237
>>10935413
I was deadly sick and in incredible pain for over 2 years, and spent so much time with her alone in the house as I shook and shivered and cried. She was the only one who stayed with me, her head in my lap, feet upon mine. It was her gentle breathing and the weight of her body that kept me calm, and she knew. She definitely knew something was not right. Before all that she wasn’t even a particularly cuddly dog. She liked to keep her distance andfelt more comfortable in her own space. But when I got sick, she gave that up, because the heart of a dog is an infinite thing.

Now I’m healed and off at school, my life pieced back together again. But sometimes in my dorm room my roomate stirs and I mistake his sounds for hers. My head turns slightly until I remember that she is not there, that she’s at home 60 miles away, declining. My parents take good care of her. But I should be there too.

After all she gave me, why am I not by her side? What kind of master am I?

>>10935237 #
>>10935413 #
I was deadly sick and in incredible pain for over 2 years, and spent so much time with her alone in the house as I shook and shivered and cried. She was the only one who stayed with me, her head in my lap, feet upon mine. It was her gentle breathing and the weight of her body that kept me calm, and she knew. She definitely knew something was not right. Before all that she wasn’t even a particularly cuddly dog. She liked to keep her distance andfelt more comfortable in her own space. But when I got sick, she gave that up, because the heart of a dog is an infinite thing.

Now I’m healed and off at school, my life pieced back together again. But sometimes in my dorm room my roomate stirs and I mistake his sounds for hers. My head turns slightly until I remember that she is not there, that she’s at home 60 miles away, declining. My parents take good care of her. But I should be there too.

After all she gave me, why am I not by her side? What kind of master am I?

Why do I keep doing this to myself? why do I have to kill any chance of happyness I ever get? why can´t I be a functional human being?

>MFW law assignment based on a case that was written by an awful fucking judge.

God I hate incoherent, bad writing. Why can't people just be precise when they write, rather than convey their reasoning with so much ambiguity? I have had to re-write this garbage assignment three times because it didn't seem right.

>>10936659
ever heard from ascetic's

>>10936681
Could that be the reason they gave it to you? Won't you come across assholes who can’t write in the real world and have to reinterpret their shit?

>>10927882
My boss gave me a book recommendation

I'm the loner at work, my boss wants me to read the book titled how to make friends and influence people....

>>10927882
A junior year from school started messaging me for some reason.
I asked him how he got my number but he claims he doesn't know, so I tried to check if we had any common acquaitance but it doesn't appear so.
At first it looked inoffensive but he soon started to be quite a nuisance messaging me at night.
I'm starting to think he is a homo so I'll ask around and eventually turn him off.

I might have finally cracked my social anxiety. The key is that you have to actually engage the other person, which can be frightening, but is ultimately much better than the constant back-and-forth egotistical panicking over how others could be perceiving you. It was still tough to remain calm, yet I'm sure it gets easier with practice. Childhood teasing made me afraid of connecting with people, but now I see it's not so bad.

I wish i wasn't growing to be so bitter at the world

A hottie lives under my home and i can hear her now studying and repeating, im sweating and nervous even tho she doesnt even know im up here listening, wat do?

>>10937689
pretty cute desu

Just did my very last course registration ever, for next fall. I'm not prepared for a world outside of school.

The snowflakes falling right now are literally an inch across, what the fuck.

I forgot my deodorant at home, so I need to get some today. Drank coffee, I'm gonna be sweating like a pig, I'm a cross between German and Mexican. Not races known for their fragrant, flowery aromas. Gotta head to Accounting in five minutes. I'm no accountant. I've made some poor choices.

I want to write something to a qt spanish girl i didnt talk to since new year but idk what to say.

>>10927882
I'm working a soul sucking job on finance that pays me well but leaves me ridden with guilt as one of my main tasks consists of doing all the paperwork for clients seeking tax evasion in all its forms

>>10938072
Olah mamcita, tu ti papi daddio? Mi, non adios mios? Permítanme hornear el bean burrito mami, déjame llenar el taco con la carne oscura. Quiero lamer su hazaña, cerca del océano, quiero bucear en el mar con usted y superficie como una ballena asesina harpooning un bebé foca. Tendrá que ir a una cita conmigo al cine? ¿Será mi pequeño boricua chica? Su padre es mi padre. Dejemos algo para almorzar, cómo sobre ella, ¿suena?

>>10937467
don't know what to make of this. just pretend to have read it, anon and keep chugging along.

>>10938089
esto no va a funcionar psh

>>10938086
how can taxes be so easily evaded? Can there, is there not, a system that has every persons name, and how much money enters bank accounts in their name over the year? So one way, hidden banks? What kind of paper work do you do, dont have to say specific, just conceptually: say the person only made x amount when they really made 50x? Make up exemptions? Some fake business, fake business expense write offs? Fake charity?

>>10938027
At least you're doing something, you're in school.
t. not prepared for a world outside of my own head

>>10938072
Hey, how have you been, what have you been up to? I hope you have been enjoying the new year, since last we spoke.

>>10938086
besides the fact you’re a parasite, why does that make you feel guilty? shouldn’t you feel guilty that your bosses are pedophiles who launder drug money and try to influence global markets illegally? That would seem to be morally reprehenisble, as opposed to tax evasion, which is merely avaricious contemptible affuence behaving as it always has

>>10938117
sounds decent
thanks

>>10938128
>since last we spoke*
since we last spoke
or
since we last talked

>>10938183
>>10938128
dont forget to include the most important part I forgot at the end
*
^_^ :* :) :^) XDDDdd huehuehuehue

>>10938128
>*
Hey, how you been, what you been up to? I hope youve been enjoying the new year since I

I don't really have too many friends, and the few I have aren't too interested in me.
No gf
My brother is a furry.
I don't have money to go to college and the scholarships I've been offered don't cover enough.
The only college I can afford to go to would force me to live at home, which I hate.
I do enjoy my job though, but I only make minimum wage.
My truck is slowly dying, only gets 8-12 miles per gallon, and needs repairs every month.

I'm just living.

I've been having horrible chest and stomach pains for the last 20 hours and haven't slept for over 40 as a result. I think I might be dying.

>>10927896
How come? U can always masturbate before sleeping

>>10927891
I just don't like the over expression with rainbow trinket. It has no place in this context and looks like you're rambling. It lost my attention for a second, I went to skip over it

>>10927882
The kitty trickled across the street.
The end

I plan to stop talking to a good friend of mine because I feel like he doesn’t admire just as equally. He’s pretty Augustine’s and has like zero social skills but he’s the only friend I have but I’m tired of him. We were supposed to go to the movies but he canceled on me and that drew the line. I also feel like I’ve changed a lot over the last couple of years like I don’t like to watch anime, I don’t like to play vidya, and I’ve become very selective of the movies I watch as in I completely refuse to spend my time watching a movie as a super hero movie. I used to be a retarded autistic geek but I grew out of it especially because of 4chan I felt like spending my time on those kind of things were for children and whatnot but I also feel like I haven’t lived life. I’m 19 right now birthday was las last Jan and I have spent all my life prior to the age of 18 sitting in front a screen and occasionally hanging out with friends. Like for example I have 2,000 hours of my life in dota 2 and probably 1,500 hours in League and that is just in those games. I am tired of it all though, I feel like I’ve played every game and have sucked the bone dry out of my enjoyment for video games, every mainstream movie looks the same every anime looks the same I feel like I’ve already seen this before and done better so why even bother with watching it. I have no friends after one year of college but I don’t really care about friends anymore, I really just find enjoyment in literature and some of the 4chan boards and school. My last friend simply feels like a nuisance but I don’t want to let go because his heart is a very weak one.

>>10938579
You're 19, good luck with the next couple of years, those will make or break you.
t. Broken

>>10938609
Best advice for someone in that age range?

>>10938527
>the over expression
lol, bad reader, thats the entire point of that blurb of text... it was her seeing the rainbow trinket that made her conclude with the last words: suddenly not so interested in her

I have crippling autism and selective mutism and am just an all around awkward maladroit wreck and my mother forced me out of NEEThood to work at her place. I'm making a fraction of a bit more than others my age but fuck if I don't just want to kill myself every nanosecond I'm there. Some people just can't fit in anywhere, and I wish I could just go back to rotting away in piece. Maybe I should just try Adderall.

>>10938646
I honestly have no idea. Either you function and get through it or you don't.

>>10938646
make money and save it, there are many interesting things in the world, find your place in it and work on making a life for yourself, enjoy and appreciate the day, respect your elders, bear the pleasent simplicities of life, exceedingly reach to increasingly increase your acquaintance with the beautiful and goodly complex, there are many lovely old and new parts and pieces that make up the world, there are many artisans and craftsman, talented, smart, skilled and good, the world is a home of many luxuries, dont be too hard on yourself, but sometimes be hard on yourself to become better, a step backwards for two forward, dont 'fall in love with a girl' because you are horny.

I actually have a great life and every day I say a grateful prayer to God above and thank Him for blessing me with a new sunrise. Just wish that B&N would turn their FUCKING music down so I could actually focus on my writing.

>>10938770
Become a Hindu and marry a British Indian

I want to change majors. I don't think IT is for me, but I'm not sure what to switch to. There are too many that I'm interested in and there's also the issue with job prospects afterwards. I'm also considering entering into the military or even priesthood(although I imagine I'm not exactly cut out for that). I hope you anons are hanging in there and that you had a good Easter.

>>10927882
That picture reminds me of my cat. She died this morning. She's still on my bed. I go back to pet her every few minutes or so. I'm going to bury her this evening.

>>10938849
Anon I'm sorry for you loss, truly, but c'mon now. You can't just let the poor animal lie there dead and cold.

>>10938849
Rest in peace, Anon's Cat.

>>10938849
Wtf anon, bury her/him and play it a funeral song

>>10938849
F

>>10938646
Don't give into lazy vices. Many people move out of their folks' house, and use their newfound freedom to waste their early years on video games and other vapid activities, with a low personal drive going towards a wage slave job or a degree they never used that just put them in debt.

Jobs and degrees aren't inherently bad, but they have their own pitfalls if you're not careful in the choices you make. Push yourself above the standard expectations where it's appropriate. If you're going towards a degree, don't just take the requisite classes, get to know your faculty/classmates and express an interest in doing more. As an undergrad, there are opportunities for assisting with research, TA-ing, tutoring and other related jobs that go a long way.

Develop yourself outside of career goals. Find hobbies that are production-oriented rather than consumption-oriented (e.g. writing vs. reading). Consumer hobbies are okay in moderation, but many people get so caught up in them they never do anything else. Be social and regularly push yourself just past the threshold of what you're comfortable with (i.e. go to the party you're dreading or open up a short conversation). Social skills are a skill you can hone and refine with effort, and things get easier the more you do them. Personal growth always has some element of breaking out of your comfort zone.

Lastly, don't overwhelm yourself with ambition. Find a balance between drive and downtime. Too much drive and you'll wear yourself out. Recharge, but don't fall into the very tempting lethargic routines.

>>10939014
Good advice

What has been on my mind for a long time:

haha benis :DDDD
snibeti snab x--DD

>>10939014
thanks counselor i am excited to shell out 100k for USC and Law school, what a great, worldly, sagacious storehouse of colloquial folk psychology wisdom you have to offer. Wow, im gonna go plug my ass with Foreign Affairs and Fortune magazine later just because of your keen insights

Should I try to bring my friend into a project I'm working on? I think he'd like it, but I'm not sure if I want him involved. But, on the other hand, we would be better friends for it.

>>10939220
If people had actual good career advice to give anon the world wouldn't be the way it is. That anon's advice is pretty decent if you just want to do what a well-adjusted normie does.

I crossed eyes with a classmate today and I felt butterflies. I didn’t even think about her before.

The remake of Solaris. When they meet. Clooney saunters up to her place in the party. She gives him that look. Her clothes reveal no trace that she is victim of any fad. She has grown beyond the juvenile need to use her appearance to proclaim. Anything.

"Don't blow it," she says.

"Why don't you start," he says.

"I already did."

Perfect. Just perfect. Someday she's going to appear. A fully formed self. Shed of noise. Inoculated from the infections of media and current events. Ready to live her private life.

Someday she will appear.

>>10938350
Hey, anon. I'm pretty much you, except for the college stuff (I'm studying with a full scholarship. Luck on my side, I guess). I would advise to take the chance to study, even if is in your city. If you hate that much your home, in the worst case you could hang by your uni library or something, then sleep at your place and so on. Don't worry that much about friends, it will get along in time. Maybe college is an improvement on this side.
I'm glad you enjoy your work.
Focus in yourself now, make your persona comfortable with your mind.
What do you like to do? What do you want to study?
Best of lucks.

>>10939255
no its not at all, its just barking

>>10939654
>watching a sad remake.

>>10927882
I stopped living with my parents at 15. My father was blue-pill and my mother is, well, a woman.

Best thing that ever happened to me. I had to raise myself and teach myself how to be a man. Go through trial and error to find out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do with my life. The problem is that after 15 I never had any male influence in my life. No man that I knew of personally lived up to my minimum set bar standards. There were only people on the internet that I would listen to and 90% of them eventually became cringy and fake.

So my male influence became the phantom personality living inside my head that was the best version of me possible. It was like a split personality that mentored my actual self to become better. And it worked.

To this day my non-existent phantom personality mentors me because I haven't found a single role model that is what I aspire to be. I only steal style and fashion from some cool looking dudes but that's pretty much it.

Don't exactly know how this comment will help but what I'm trying to say here is that your imagination can be your own role model if you have trouble finding good influences around you.

>>10939696
I really wish i was kicked out at 18 id have no debt, healthier body/brain and significantly more skills

I've stopped trying to make my life better. Everything everyone suggests to make things better is meaningless to me.

>>10939220
Not sure how that was your takeaway from my post. Hoping you're just a sad trollboy and not actually this dumb and bitter.

>>10939679
>being a sad poseur

>>10939659
Full scholarship, very nice. And yeah, I very well might go to the nearby college and hope I can eventually save up enough money to move out.
As for hobbies, I enjoy photography especially. I hope to major in chemical engineering and minor in physics and math. How about you?

>>10939014
reading is very much valuable even though it’s not “Production-oriented.”

>>10939747
humans do not have agency, you are speaking entirely using linguistic-cultural inputs from popular publications, media outlets and texting among your social sets. nothing you’ve said or thought today was differentiate from the stream of psychic sewage that defines hyper-modern man. your “advice” could have been generated by a chat bot fed a series of conversations from school counselors, college recruiters and psychiatrists

you even used a rote memetic suffix, -boy, to other me

>>10938027
it sucks ass

>>10939844
No shit sherlock, not trying to reinvent the wheel here. Just giving some advice to a late adolescent who probably doesn't hear that kind of stuff enough. You sound lost as fuck. Poor lostboy :(

>>10939800
>friends come along with time
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE DOESN’t KNOW ABOUT THE DORM INCEL RECLUSES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHOHOHOHOHOH HEHEHEHEHEEHEHEEEHEHEEHEHE HAHAHAHA AHAHWBAJW

I'm beginning to feel legitimately ashamed of myself. I've been exposed to so much postcolonial, intersectional essays, articles and talking points, it's started to severely cloud the way I view myself. I feel incredibly insecure when talking to women, not out of some sexual nervousness, but because I'm afraid they might interpret my rhetoric or behavior as an expression of toxic masculinity.

I just can't stop thinking about this stuff and analyzing myself through a "social justice" lens. It's killing me.

>>10939844
*caresses you tenderly* *gently breathes on the nape of your neck* *barely whispers just behind your ear, tell me, majesty, what is it that you want in life, what troubles you, what do you want to see, what do you want to do, where do you want to go* *massages your shoulders* *nuzzles my nose near your armpit* *gently tenderly cautiously lovingly whispers* *what is troubling you, honey?* *screaming* *life is screwed and the world is fucked and nothing you do will ever make you happy there are only this moment leading into the next and you need to keep busy to forget about it all and get your moderate joys and pleasures where you can holy shit we are all going to die were all going to die!* *violently jerking off your torso with my arms in a hug* *gentle breathing petting your hair politely quietly; just kidding, everything is fine, everything will be ok, this moment is eternal and it is perfect and there is only happiness and love and the world is full of hope and magic and wonder and there are so many schools and cultures and crafts you can look into and learn and make a life and name for yourself, always keep this tender moment near your heart, and know that I love you, study hard, work hard, play hard*

>>10939800
Cool. I'm studying for my biotechnology engineering degree, hoping to focus on evolutionary processes or environmental conservation, maybe both.
About hobbies, I'm mostly pretty lit,I enjoy films very much as well. I wish I was into photography, but I pretty much know nothing. Any suggestions on where to start? Maybe some photographers you like?
Hope to hear about you in the next threads to come.
Wish you well.

Lately I have been doing some work where I have to see and deal with a lot of people's behavior and choices in real time, and I am just amazed by how the average person on the street is borderline retarded.

I don't mean that they make poor choices, or succumb to biases, or select goals that are bad for them in the long run, all things I would have expected. I mean that they can't even follow their own goals consistently after having set them. They will set a goal, pursue it for a small amount of time, and just as they're about to get any feedback on the goal (negative or positive), they will abruptly change goals and disengage and start over. They will do this ten times in a row so that they accomplish nothing whatsoever. It honestly reminds me of the old cliche about goldfish having 16-second memories. I wish I could give more information or write a paper on it. It's just incredible.

I am on the verge of an existential crisis because of this. It is just baffling. Sometimes I shout out loud in actual despair at how completely retarded they are. In consistent ways too, all kinds of weird consistency across retarded people. All retards will do similarly nonsensical, internally nonsensical things. I really have to stress that the main problem is that it's internally nonsensical, it makes no sense even given the goals and knowledge of the person doing the thing, given everything they've said and done up until that point. The closest analogy I can give is something like an orange salesman going around trying to sell oranges to people, going through the whole process of convincing the customer to buy a bag of oranges, and then as soon as the customer says he'd like some and begins taking out his wallet, turning around and walking in the opposite direction and approaching someone else. It's so insanely bizarre to watch. It's internally inconsistent behavior for basic, normal goals. They can't pick a thing and execute it, even simple things.

Unless there is something in the water here, something specifically wrong with people here, then this is a pretty random sampling of the average person. And they can't even think in terms of goal-oriented behavior that I would imagine a monkey could be trained to do.

I am seriously dissociating from watching this. It's giving me an uncanny valley sensation when I look at ordinary people, like they're not really people but some kind of replacement that only simulates a person from a distance. I'm freaking out.

>>10939959
>>10939880
low verbal iq exhausting itself because i punched them in the nose as hard as possible

>>10940056
The thing that really gets me about it is how it's consistent across retards, there is emergent complexity and patterns in how retarded they are, so it's predictable in a sense, but it's always somehow also unpredictable. Somehow, simultaneously, every choice they make is completely astonishingly inconsistent with anything like what I thought their goals and priorities might be, completely out of left field and completely unpredictable, but ALSO similar in execution to the other fifty retards I just saw. They all like to walk up to people, engage with them, get 80% of the way through executing an encounter, and then randomly botch or disengage the encounter before it has any payoff, negative or positive. They all do it. They all do it around the same point. You can sort of tell when they're about to do it, but you can't really explain why. It's just a vague feeling that their uncanny goldfish brain is about to do something completely nonsensical that you won't be able to explain.

I don't understand it. It's like going into a coffee shop, telling the guy you want coffee, and then when he hands you the coffee, spacing out, asking him what he wants from you, and when he explains 'Uh, you ordered a coffee?', looking confused and indignant, turning around, and walking out of the shop. Was it really such an on the fence decision for you that you didn't know that you wanted a coffee until he handed it to you, and you changed your mind at the last second? Did you learn some new information between ordering the coffee and him handing it to you that drastically changed your entire worldview and necessitated a radical change of course? Even if so, why did you look so confused when he explained why he was handing it to you? How could you possibly be the one that's confused?

I can't take it anymore. Am I an alien? Are these really the normal humans and I'm the abnormal one? These are average people, I don't understand it. It's like I'm making contact with a strange bug species in a sci fi movie

>>10940056
>>10940113
You might be onto something but I also get the feeling you're at the very least slightly autistic.

>>10940056
>>10940113
You have learned, in a helpfully empirical way, that most men are not fit to govern themselves, and are in need of a master.

You've taken your first step into a larger world.

Do we really want an eternal future of artificial scarcity and top-down enforced cultural norms determined by who had first mover advantage in a narrow section of the economy for a certain period of time in the 21st century? Are we seriously doing this? I genuinely believe that the dominant class are just going to kill everyone they don't like using economics and then sift through the dead using simulations in search of whatever value they left behind. And that's fucked up, and not good. We are headed towards a picture of heaven that is run by Facebook and Google in which God is not the most intelligent or "best" but simply those of sufficient (admittedly large) intelligence who were in the right place in the right time. And that is not a God worth worshiping. I invoke the ethos of the defiant theist in a simulationist and accelerationist context.

>>10940136
Just don’t use either. I don’t have a Facebook but google is pretty good.

>>10940056
>>10940113
>in how many ways i can state the same thing
Boring

>>10940136
Hopefully WWIII comes before that, don't worry too much. If you do worry, what you should look into is becoming as self-sufficient as possible.

>>10927891
okay so i expected this to to terrid and it isn't. good job on being detailed and concrete. that being said, change up your sentence structures. imagine your sentences are music, with the punctuation being the beats/changes et cetera. like every single sentence there is this: ONE, TWO, THREE. ONE, TWO, THREE. over and over. don't get me wrong, the details/images/descriptions are great and all. all you gotta do is master every single form of punctuation and then space them out and don't over use them. now, this is obviously part of a bigger piece of work and you may be purposefully setting up that rhythm... but if it isn't a poem it's too much in my opinion. ^__^

>>10940056
>>10940113
two books, The Will to Power and Culture Industry (from Dialectic of Enlightenment, if you'd like you can skip to the chapter aforementioned) The Exhaustion of spirit and manufactured humanity is something you are going to want to become familiar with

A warning: it will get worse as dysgenic selection accelerates and displacement activities, including insane internal psychological energy sinks, become more prevalent. Expect more broken conversation, cowardly interaction, fucking gay social interactions with time. It can only become uglier
>>10940135
shoo shoo de Maistre he is not for (You)!
>>10940134
he is autistic, that's a good thing, he can be helped, autists, contrary to Martin Luther's absolutely unforgivable slander, actually have souls unlike normalfags. Hence, they behave like aliens

>>10940113
double-posting to give you some hard evidence you're not going insane:
http://archive.is/6MPf8

>>10940113
>>10940056
Why didnt you actually say anything about this position of yours, what is the actual context? What are you having these people do? Solicit drugs? Be door to door salesman? Are you a pimp? Are you doing experiments? Clinical trials?

>>10940113
>>10940056
Instead of using retarded similes about oranges and coffee, how about you tell us what these people are actually doing?

i was swimmin in the caribbean. animals were hiding behind the rocks. except the little fish

Trimmed my pubes earlier, now I have to piss.

>>10933481
Weird how so?

>>10934439
What are your favourite comedies?

>>10936659
Jonah complex.

>>10937467
That's been a business/self-help classic since it was published in the 30s, don't read too much into it. Just about every businessfag I know who actually bothers to read owns and loves that book and will shill it everywhere given half a chance.

>>10938027
I'd say you could always stay in school, but that's kind of a shit prospect for most people nowadays.

>>10938497
Hit up a clinic, my dude.

>>10939830
I don't think they were saying that reading wasn't valuable, just that people should have a decent balance of creation and consumption. For me, writing is a means of consolidating and working through information I've consumed. Engaging thoughts on two fronts—primary, from reading itself and secondary, from your interpretation of a given reading—gives you a better understanding of a subject matter rather than just placidly reading everything and leaving it at that.

Every time I see political "discourse" on Twitter (read: sassy black GIFs and passive aggressive memery) I want the world to end more and more.

>>10935537
Wow so deep faggot
Just get off your ass

>>10927882
I've realized that my thoughts for the last half of the year or more are slowly leading me into depression and despair. I can't really talk to anyone about it because I'm afraid they'll understand and end up just like me.

There seems to be no hope lads.

>>10940638
I can relate anon. It's >tfw to intelligent
as fuck, but I really think I've seen the world too deeply and that I'll never be able to return to my naive happiness.

I blame books desu, the epicureans were right when they said you should avoid learning any more than you absolutely have to.

>>10940509
I swear to god I saw the word and Every and black+gif and scrolled back down to see if it was Ebony, i need to stop watching porn

I don't want to grow up desu, what's the point when the world is so fucked? I'd rather go and start living innawoods.

I relate excessively to this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhelBTjRYcE

>>10927891
>present tense

i don't think i will ever get over the fact that i'm alive. it's hard to explain the feeling.

>>10940045
Classy. Honestly I don't read too much anymore, which I find pretty sad, and I've never been really into movies, although it seems like a good interest to talk to people about. Any movie recommendations? With photography, I would say just start taking pictures. As often as possible, of everything you love. I don't really have a favorite photographer.
Thanks, wish the same for you.

i don't want to wake up tomorrow i don't want to talk to you i just want to be alone i want to be alone

i only hurt people

ruined my best friendship because i got too attached

rhodiola rosea works great to relieve lethargy and anxiety, but I can't fall asleep

>>10940799
well that problem will solve itself one day, you just have to wait

>>10940871
people get horribly hurt every day. if you don't have truly evil intentions then I don't think you have nearly the power to hurt anyone beyond how people ordinarily get hurt and what they ordinarily get over with barely any scratches left

i literally did not do any work at work today, i surfed the web and read a book, these days i do maybe 3-4 hours of work a week. i feel sort of guilty when theres all these neet motherfuckers whose parents are forcing them to get fastfood jobs and shit meanwhile i get paid to just chill and read the nytimes comments all day, i wonder if they will restructure and eliminate my job or something i mean there is like nothing to do, its like im basically being paid to read shitposts but their the liberal trumputin conspiracy shitposts of nytimes readers but still, im like dude what the hell

>>10941043
Is it was a girl, rip

Fuck you cynical faggot fucks. Im never posting my writing here again. Goddamn. Im the next Pynchon and you can suck my cock. Whether published or not, I WILL FINISH MY NOVEL. SUCK MY FAT COCK ANON.

That's a cute kitty.

Why am I so angry all the time? I feel like a husk of a man who's insides have been carved out and replaced with a cold fire that never stops burning. It waxes and wanes, but never dies. There's no where for it go. I have become the rage. It sustains me. Without the fire, I am dust.

I left uni with no money, contacts or plans as to what else to do with myself, but it was the correct decision. Guess my next step is to make some cash and get out

lennie was actually a super genius only pretending to be retarded and he would have got away with it if goerge didn shot him in the hed

>>10940056
Wait but what's your job? Makes a big difference as to whether this story is garbage or not.

What's the point? What should I be working towards each day? What should I strive for with every fibre of my being?

Alleviate pain and suffering in the world? Is that the goal? What happens if we eliminate suffering? Is some amount of suffering actually necessary? What am I supposed to do?

>>10942376
>inb4 anon's observing people doing really complicated tasks like assembling an engine or something

>>10940056
let me guess you took some non-profit gig trying to help "the proletariat" get their shit together right? poor people are fucking retarded. this is the only conclusion one can come to after extended exposure to "the masses".

>>10942396
have you moved out of your mom's basement yet? one good financial goal is to make enough money so that you don't have to live among non-whites. they may look fun in rap videos but i assure you living among them is very unpleasant.

>>10942751
How much money do you think one needs to comfortably move out of a mom's basement?

>>10943802
comfortably? depends on the city but probably like 30k is average minimum for a mostly ok life in the united states, you could do it as low as 15k but then you gonna be around bad people, which is to say uneducated, impulsive,possibly criminal, etc., ive also read that after 70k your happiness only increases with income logarithmically so to be really comfortable 70k to be honest, but if all you can muster is 30k good enough, i know moving into the hood to do your art and shit sounds cool but unless you own the building your studio/loft is in all thats gonna happen in 10 years when the place starts to get nice because whites like to be around artists and high culture, you will be priced out and forced to move into another shitty hood where the people are cultural slugs,and before u know it the decades are flying by and you've lived half your life in shit neighborhoods like a common thug, when you signed up for art school no one told you this, or maybe they did but u didnt listen

>>10943924
>as low as 15k but then you gonna be around bad people
lol what a crock. most single dudes would be fine at 15k if they didn't blow their paychecks on new cars, eating out constantly, and expensive tech/hobbies, unless you live in some city with seriously hiked up rent.

>>10944050
>claims living on 15k is a good lifestyle

and yet there you are in mom's basement still

>>10944050
Where the fuck do you live where rent isn't going to be at least 10k a year???

>>10940168
Very wordy. Short on substance. I have as little use of this as most the rest.

Is this what these threads always do?
No wonder you never grow

>>10944225
he's a neet who still lives with mommy

>>10944176
i said "fine," not "good." you can live comfortably at that income level if you're not an indulgent, impulsive idiot. i did so for years: drove a used car, cooked my own food, bought $2 books instead of $60 games, had a cheap laptop and internet, and lived affordably in a good neighborhood close to my campus. simple restraint can save you thousands of dollars a year. i wouldn't want to live on 15k forever, but it's a start. you're scaring some NEET off from moving out of his parents by saying something overblown like you have to make 30k to get by and not live in the hood, and i was simply countering that.

>>10944225
mid-sized city in the midwest. my rent then was about 6k annually for a 1br apartment in good area. and i've had friends in bigger cities get by on a similar budget, but splitting with roommates.

>>10944270
this is the worst roleplay ever.

I've realized that I've loved the person I do for so long I no longer actually care for them. I feel the way I do out of habit alone.

my mind over all LMAO

>>10940154
Won't raiding gangs just kill me and steal my stuff when it all collapses

I'm tired

>tfw literally too smart for the people around me

I haven't learned anything from anyone in real life in the past three years. I'm terribly bored. Books are my only friend at this point.

For my first day at the new work place I was scheduled at 5am, so I had to wake up at 3:30am to make ends meet. I tried to sleep accordingly, but the fever hit me too hard with the heat and the cold. While I was writhing around inside and outside my bed, struggling to lose consciousness, my psyche split into three voices, (or spectators) who commented on and criticized my suffering. When I got to work, they scheduled me to the cold box.

>>10945077
Learn to be humble.
And try to find and teach someone(s) around you of what you've learned.

I'm slowly beating ocd but the damage is done.

I had trouble falling asleep last night because I kept farting.

>>10945077
>talking with smart friend at social gathering
>mention that I hate classicism or something like that
>guy standing with us interjects
>"oh yeah I hate class too bro, it's fucking boring!"
>friend and I are too bewildered to continue conversation
This actually happened.

>>10945077
I was like you. Why couldn't people be like the greats who I go home and read at night? Why are people so obsessed with all these futile things? Do they not think??

Try to speak to people without painting them with an image beforehand which instantly makes your conversation contaminated with prejudice which gives no space to learn.
Even with the most "stupid basic bitch" if you question them and actually show interest in their thoughts you'll find out people think about subjects we expect them not to.
I realised my approach for the early chapters of my life was based on my insecurity of my intellect. Everybody has something to offer OP, in my study breaks whilst im in the library I smoke a cigarette with a homeless guy who hangs around the lib, and even he has plenty of interesting thoughts and views.

>>10940113

This hits home anon, and I know that probably most of the residents of this shithole are also guilty.

Humans are a socially codependent species, and it seems to me as if we are growing more and more reliant on our applications, software, and others as time goes by. Why bother with a task when you can pass it off to a machine, or another, and go pleasure seek in the mean time?

This year I quit smoking, Stopped drinking soda and limiting processed carbs and added sugars. I daily do a hundred pushups and as many sit ups. I've limited my TV consumption to 10 hours a week. I still come here though. I still drink like a fish. Last night something inside me shuddered, or convulsed like some internal organ death rattle. I wonder how far I still have to go to get away from myself in the end.

>>10940056
>>10940113
This is me. I can't commit to any potential hobby or interest. Am I retarded?

I feel socially anxious pretty much in all situations and I want to kys.

>>10938527
>>10938655
The point of the trinket was to show she was also a lesbian.
The last line "suddenly not so interested in her." is ambiguous. You can take it to mean that I/narrator lost interest in the girl or Sappho, which changes the story's end

>>10927882
I am moments away from asking a girl if I can kiss her and I'm terrified. I'm prepared to lose, but i'm done living my life as a lamb.

>>10945220
>asking a girl if I can kiss her
m8.

I just remembered the fact that the mother of one of my best friends in secondary school (that's high school to you americans) was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I had a crush on her at the time and she knew it and we did grow quite close, but she was always uncomfortable with the idea of cheating on her husband with a barely legal school girl. So she ended up staying with him. Apparently things have gotten better for her now because her husband is a bit less of a dick. But I still remember the dreams I used to have about us two running away to the countryside on our own.

She even wrote a book and had it published shortly before the publishers closed down. I remembered her because I'm reading it now. I found it for sale in the local library for 20p. I think I'm the only one outside her immediate family who has a copy.

I found one review of it online. The guy said it was 'unremarkable.' But I disagree. Her and her writing will always be remarkable to me.

I miss her /lit/.

>>10945235
what's with the lesbians on /lit/

>>10945270
lesbians are the best writers. followed by pedos/homos/pervs. straight dead white males is a red herring, please don't tell the sjws about virginia woolf in blackface, they don't deserve to know bunga bunga. also pls be grill with short fingernails.

>>10945270
Lesbians love /lit/erature. This is a fact.

>>10945285
I have no idea what you're trying to say here but yes, I do have short fingernails. You know what for. ;)

>>10945320
>I have no idea what you're trying to say here but yes, I do have short fingernails. You know what for. ;)
>not a woolf reader
DROPPED
R
O
P
P
E
D

>>10945168
This is true. You are paying a huge price for it occasionally, but it's worth it in the long run. I remember talking to a guy while sitting on a bench. He started educating me about the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. He ended his speech with "I watch too much ID Discovery." We laughed about it and I never saw him again. I think I wrote that one in my journal.

The negative side really is, that I can't believe that some people don't get past some shit that you should have resolved at least when you get to the age of 18. It's like they don't realize that I know that they are playing tricks and/or are telling me only half of the story. The worst might be the gossip on how someone failed at university or got fired and it's always followed with a passive "But that doesn't concern me" or some other line to run from the responsibility of revealing that you feel happy for someone's failure. I swear I feel like if I didn't hold people in a certain check position they would start revealing some crazy shit to me. Like back then, in elementary school (age 10), when my school friend died and some other guy who was with us in the class told me "You know, they talk about him, but he was nothing special." I wish I could go back to that moment and punch the living shit out of him.

>>10945328
I prefer Katherine Mansfield. She is best literary lesbian waifu.

I feel weak

>>10927882
Sleep in my bed. Live in my head. Swallow my nut with your big stinky butt.

>>10945235
OG?

Share book, please.

>>10945365
Care to extrapolate?

>>10945413
Nah man. I've caused enough trouble in her life.

>>10945420
im gonna fucking hang you from a lamppost if you don't stop

>>10940178
What the hell is this

>>10945747
It's evolution psychology, so really it's just some guy's opinion.

>>10945766
Hmm

>>10940178
>$39

>>10945420
just weak, ill-prepared for the challenges of life ahead of me (not physically, mentally and spiritually)

>>10945766
>$39 for a guys opinion

the movie "troy" is on sale on itunes for $5 in hd should i cop it or does it suck as bad as the alexander movie?

>>10944380
>mid-sized city in the midwest

name a mid-sized city in the midwest that doesnt require a car? yeah im sure i could get a cheap apartment in detriot but the only problem is there are no jobs, its filled with crimes and criminals, and its freezing as shit

name me a midwest city where u can get an apt. for $500 that isnt a warzone and/or a giant suburb requiring a car and i'm in there like swimwear, somehow i doubt it

>>10938854
>>10938861
I had to wait till my dad got home. That cat was the only soft spot in his life, dude. I can't imagine what he's been thinking lately.

>>10947041
get another cat bro

>>10947089
if u get another cat it'll just die again, best to escape the cycle of pet death suffering

>19 going on 20
>am a transfer student that applied to colleges
>looking to get into UCLA
>got into safety school
>applied as english major (lit)
>having some regrets about going into humanities
>not good at math/ science
>really getting into polysci but I can't minor in it
>don't know what to do with my degree after I get out

what do i do

i wonder how much longer i have to live. i could live a bunch more decades, but i could totally die sooner.

>>10946987
i didnt see alexander because it looked like shit but i vaguely remember enjoying parts of troy.

those movies were the end of the "epic" era. weird time before cape movies took over.

>>10947311
too bad they all sucked too, what was that one with the guy from lotr fighing salladin or whatever? that was another wasted potential, the crazy thing is alexander was like 200+ minutes long and then as if that didnt suck enough they came with a three hour directors cut on dvd! im like holy shit hopefully that improved it cuz no one needs an extra 45 minutes of that shit, i wanted to like it so bad but its ... just not good.

I lament that I could be more productive throughout the day

i never thought id get sick of my easy ass job but i have had it with this shit, i need to do something hard with people who are smarter than me so i can learn

>>10947001
are you the neet dude from before? because your perception of the world sounds reductive and misinformed as fuck. every city has slums and suburbs, but they also have a lot of normal city shit that's neither. i don't know all your stipulations. do your own research. i found places that worked for my needs/budget and can think of many other options that would have also worked.

I'm close to nothing at the moment.

Fuck sociememe and the human gayce.

>>10947145
transfer again lol

>>10947954
Do you mean you don't have anything you're close to or you personally feel like you're ceasing to exist?

Facebook informed me this morning of an old post that said 'a day of photoshop awaits'. That was 7 years ago and I have to finish my design project today. A haunting premonition. Very strange.

I'm also nearing the end of End Zone which is every bit as interesting as White Noise yet hardly mentioned here at all.

>>10938350
>My truck is slowly dying, only gets 8-12 miles per gallon, and needs repairs every month.

>learn guitar
>travel to Nashville
>write a song
>???
>profit?

>>10939947
Take a break. Just step away from all of that for awhile. Read something else. Women aren't as sensitive as some feminist text makes them out to be, and you'll find there are actually quite a number who resent that shit.

>>10940113
Write a novel.

>>10940509
Don't go on Twitter. Problem solved.

>>10941171
It wasn't that fat last time I sucked it. Don't believe his lies, other anons.

>>10945077
You're not as smart as you think you are if you haven't learned humility and you go around underestimating every body else. The thing is other people develop what we call "social skills," or as a channer you'll understand to mean 'hiding one's power level.' Usually people don't want to alienate or push others away, and there's also the consideration that maybe some people have some things going on in their lives and don't want to entertain your bragging about some book they don't care about.

>>10945109
This is sound advice.

>>10945166
Nice dubs. I do that on purpose sometimes to get a rise out of people. Hopefully he wasn't actually dumb.

>>10945178
Hang in there, anon. You're going to make it. Congrats on the progress.

>>10945285
Does Jeanette Winterson count? I was thinking of reading her sometime. Any other recs?

>>10946987
No. See if your local library has a copy if anything. $5 for an adaptation that has zero gods. Nope. Dropped. Burned.

>>10947344
Get off 4chan.

Nothing truly inspires me, but I'd still like to write - not for that kind of prose that demands you love it, but the sort you find every now and then on 4chan that introduces an idea and develops it so eloquently that it comes to have an aesthetic beauty to it. Admittedly, this doesn't occur often, but it's wonderful, and you'll know it when you see it. Hell, I could start right now if only I had some inspiration. These days I'm just waiting to feel alive again.