/lit/ - Literature

i dont get it

>>1087717
Kafka's Castle was never finished.

>>1087721
All three of his novels weren't finished, that doesn't take away from their impact.

>>1087727

I don't think anyone was saying it did. I think this was one of those 'jokes' I hear so much about now.

Kids these days...

>>1087731

>I don't think anyone was saying it did.

Well then I'd like to say that I think it does.

>>1087736

I also think it does.

This is now a /lit/ joke thread.

Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I'd like a martini.
Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?

Lovecraft walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?"

I am hesitant to read any of Kafka's novels because they are unfinished. I don't want to get to the end and be all pic related

>>1087742

Cthulhu walks into a bar. The bar tender spirals into the insanity of oblivion before ending his own life in an horrific manner.

Ayn rand walks in to a bar. The bartender beats her to death.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

>>1087766
russians don't have sarcasm?

How many mystery authors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

>>1087769
nigga u juss went full retard

What do you call someone who speaks three or more languages?
Multilingual

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
Bilingual

What do you call someone who only speaks one language?
American

>>1087766
i hope this actually happened

>>1087780

I lol'd irl

Knock knock!


Who's there?

Please let me in. Is cold.

>>1087766
English is the master language

>>1087747
Even if he did finish them, you'd make that face from start to finish

>>1087747

Trial wasn't finished, but it does have an ending.

"Like a dog"

>>1087792
what others do you know?

"Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

>>1087814

"Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.

>>1087815

"Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it."

>>1087814

The "french" in "french fries" refers to method of preparing the potatoes, and is not exclusively used with fries

>>1087814
>>1087815
>>1087817

Please stop, before I put my fist through my monitor

>>1087831

>>1087831

why u mad though?

How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

>>1087780
I'm American, but I still lol'd.