/lit/ - Literature

>>10739776
jesus, just read it in like one day and figure out.

>>10739777
Between TV, college (engineering so you can imagine) and vidya, it's hard to get the time to read books especially ones that people say are shit.

>>10739780
Throw your video games and TV out the window and learn2read m8. If a trash book like that takes you more than a day, you are doing life wrong.

>>10739780
>TV
>engineering
>vidya
You'll love it.

If you don't want to touch it, just read the wikipedia summary and lie to your GF
Or break up with her since she she reads brainlet books.

>>10739776
Read the book as a matter of principle, then tell your gf your likely conclusion, i.e. that it sucks, and if need be break up with her. Good luck.

>>10739780
Why are you even on /lit/ if you don't read. go to /v/.

But the book is piss-poor if you read frequently, but someone who doesn't read much (and loves vidya), it might be up your street a little more genuinely.

The movie looks fun, Spielberg does that spectacle-based action caper fun well.

>>10739806
>The movie looks fun
have you seen the trailer?
It's gonna be 99% pondering to "nerdy" and "geek" audiences

>>10739780
>Tv
>vidya
Time to grow up anon.

>>10739776
I wish someone had just told me the truth right up front, as soon as I was old enough to understand it. I wish someone had just said: “Here’s the deal, Wade. You’re something called a ‘human being.’ That’s a really smart kind of animal. Like every other animal on this planet, we’re descended from a single-celled organism that lived millions of years ago. This happened by a process called evolution, and you’ll learn more about it But trust me, that’s really how we all got here. There’s proof of it everywhere, buried in the rocks. That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. “Oh, and by the way … there’s no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Also bullshit. Sorry, kid Deal with it.

>>10739872
I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.

>>10739872
>>10739876
are these actually in the book

>>10739886
Yes

>>10739776
>my gf
nice try

>>10739887
OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK
OH GOD
IT HURTS
HOW CAN SOMEONE GET AWAY WITH THIS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>10739888
congrats on trips anon

>>10739821
That's the book though

>>10739872
>>10739876
I've seen fanfiction written better than this shit.

>>10740219
Oh yeah? Deal with it, kiddo

>>10739876
did newton the autistic celibate virgin really jerk off?

>>10739888

Checked

>>10739821
Literally the book

>>10739776
>She asks me everyday if I've started it and she's starting to get upset that it's been a week and I haven't opened it.
She is an irredeemable pseud who will never share your /lit/ tastes. Dump her.

>>10739876
I thought you were satirizing and had a good laugh.

give her this poem by the same author to read and ask if she still likes him

>>10739776
It's Twilight but for nerds. Quick and simple wish fulfilment novel for unabashed consumerists. It's written to make you feel smart without requiring you to be smart, and in that sense it's a fantastic book, which is good, because that's the only thing it has going for it.

>I gave Art3mis a courtly bow and stretched out my hand.
>Art3mis: "So I'm supposed to believe you're one of those mythical guys who only cares about a woman's personality, and not care about the package it comes in?"
>"I'm a really nice guy, once you get to know me. I swear."

>>10740691
Roses are red
Violets are blue
No woman in her right mind would ever fuck you

>>10739776
I have it on good authority that it's absolutely terrible and no desire to read it. So well done, OP, yes well done, well done....

HOWEVER

If my gf bought it for me and it was her favourite book too, I would at least try to read it through. You're doing the wrong thing, love is about compromise, 10000 points to Gryffindor.

>>10740718
Holy shit, really?

>>10740691

>>10740729
Harpy Podler is right, OP.

>>10740691
The virgin poem
>>10740721
The Chad ode

>>10740691
Idk what kind of porn he watches, but the kind I look at has normal, slim female proportions

>>10739776
>Heh... There is no, God. Deal with it, kid.

I fucking hate this book more than I hate anything else, I would beat the shit out of Ernest Cline if I could just to calm myself down a little

>>10740794
I don't feel this kind of hatred but I would stand guard at the entrance to the alley while you beat the shit out of Ernest Cline just for the memes

>>10740691
This fucking retard doesn't know about amateur porn
I'm jerkin it to realistic qts all day long Ernie

>>10740891
Nah, he surely does know about amateur porn, he's writing those poems to win praise from the ladies.

>>10740855
Thanks anon

>>10740729
At worst it's a simple book with weak writing that's fun because of the escapism. There's no reason to get so worked up over it. They're right though, you can knock that thing out in a day.