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/lit/ - Literature

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10462132 No.10462132 [Reply] [Original]

Anon how do you figure out the mnemonic structure (just rhyming and metre and stuff) of a poem if you just wrote it out of the top of your head late at night after sleep deprivation and it just came to you as inspiration?

I made a poem and it sounds like it "flows" a bit but I want to look at what makes it flow and refine it to possibly flow better and be more consistent in structure. Also, people use free-verse as an excuse to just shit out anything.

The first few parts:

>You may call Legion
>but truth the name is small
>I am prince of earth
>Everything and all
>
>I am in your cupboard
>I am in your den
>Watch and be afraid
>I am writing of your pen
>
>I am false idols
>Hanging on your wall
>Prayers said to pastor
>Santa at the mall
>
>I am holy war
>who mocks the prince of peace
>I am filthy money
>And your house's lease

It sounds like it "flows" to me but is inconsistent.

>> No.10462243

Syllable management helps. A poem with good syllable pattern is better and no rhymes is superior to one with good rhymes but poor syllable pattern

>> No.10462300

>>10462243
Yeah the problem is I don't know how to add that in later when I just came up with the poem in the spur of the moment.

>> No.10462320

>>10462132
A little sleep deprivation can be good for creativity, but too much of it will give you retarded ideas.

>> No.10462471

>>10462320
Is my poem retarded anon? Be honest. I promise to cry only a little bit.

>> No.10462560

>>10462471
It sounds fine to me, but I'm a brainlet when it comes to poetry.

>> No.10462845

>>10462132
I really don’t know much about poetry, but I like it.

>> No.10462869

>>10462560
Fear grips my heart
My face crushed like a fist
The filthy money
The mortgage
A truth that will never be named

Stand fast, OP. You are doing OK.