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/lit/ - Literature

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10302998 No.10302998[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>"Umm hi can you help me find Lolita by Nabokov?"

what do

>> No.10303008

Slap her on the dick

>> No.10303009

burst into treats, turn 360 degrees and moonwalk the dinosaur

>> No.10303015
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10303015

>>10302998
"Well it should be under the 800 section in the Dewey Decimal Section if this place knows what they're doing, let's see if we can find a section map?"

>> No.10303020

unzip dick
Teleport behind her

>> No.10303021

>>10303015
>librarians trying to remain relevant with their antiquated system

AHAHHA

>> No.10303026

>>10302998
"Um, sorry, I´m not the librarian; good taste tough"

>> No.10303030

>>10303021
>implying I'm a librarian
It's the easiest way to find a book, considering the books aren't organized by author or something.

Would let me help her as fast as possible so I could get back to
>reading my comic books

>> No.10303039

>>10303020
>her

>> No.10303082

>>10303015
>fiction categorised within the Dewey system

Retarded.

t. librarian

>> No.10303091

>>10303082
Is it not?
Is the DDS only for nonfiction?

Gotta admit, I would just pretend to know what I was doing as implied with that post.

>I've never been to a library though.
There's none within a 50 mile radius

>> No.10303104

>>10303091
>never been to a library
>browses /lit/
checks out

>> No.10303110

>>10303091
The DDS is for dental, you moron

>> No.10303111

Immediately walk over to the exact shelf, pull out a heavily stained copy and hand it to her, looking her dead in the eye.

>> No.10303122

>>10302998
I don't work here, sorry. I have a copy of "Mashen'ka" with me, the precursor of Lolita, in a way - considered to be Nabokov's worst work, which is a throne to which there are many contenders. It's almost comedic, really, spoils the rest of his bibliography, when you see the roots of the man. But my edition is in Russian... what's the point of learning Russian now, right, the language is dying and the culture withers ever more - guess there's some beauty in watching the last sunset upon a world, vanished, enfeebled, but that's about it. And, you know,... why does this library has statuettes all over the shelves? It's weird.

>> No.10303135

>>10303110
It's an abbreviation of dewey decimal system fuckhead.
The context should be more than enough to know I'm not referring to fucking practitioners of dental services.
>>10303104
I'm not driving 50 miles to go to 1 room library.
I buy all my books.

I'd much rather have a room with several full bookshelves than have to go to a library and worry about due dates and shit

>> No.10303372

>>10303091
>Is the DDS only for nonfiction?

Precisely.

>> No.10303423

>Yes, here it is
>Thank you
>You're welcome
>Go away because how do you talk to girls?

>> No.10303432

>>10302998
Mmmmm. Mon cheri, I humbly implore you to come to my abode. It is filled to the brim with the finest literature my mommy could buy, and yes I do indeed have the tomb you are searching for. Nabokov's master work, Lolita, fifth edition, stolen from the library. What say you and I lay with one another and take turns reading the magnificent text aloud.Please, please wont you join me mon cheri? My mommy is working a double shift and evidently, she will not return until nightfall.

>> No.10303563

>>10302998
>it's overrated shit, I recommend being honest with yourself going straight to asstr