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/lit/ - Literature


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10255344 No.10255344 [Reply] [Original]

The carriage of the sky rail shook violently due to the sudden storm. In a murky corner a girl, around 16-17 years old sat staring blankly at the clouds occasionally illuminated by lightning. Across from her sat a muscular looking man, he had many different prosthetics and augmentations, he was reading a blank covered book. He giggled, the girl peered over, the man perked up and looked at her, his robotic eye flashing.
“What are you reading?” The girl said, she had been sitting across from him since the trip began two hours ago, she was snuggled up in a warm fur blanket eating cashews before the storm hit and rocked the train.
“A story. It’s about a bartender and his interactions with customers.” The man smiled, despite the scars on his face and his augmentations he seemed polite enough. “Ten talking Shiba’s clad in business suits are ordering drinks.” The girl looked dazzled.
“Talking dogs?”
“Helvetia is the city of the future… You look like a country girl, what’s your name?” The man folded the edge of the page he was on and laid the book down in his bag.
“Maria.”
“Hmm… What business do you have in the city Maria?”
“I’m going to be attending a school.” Maria looked at the man curiously. “You sure have a lot of… extras, what’s your name?”
“John.”
“You do have a ‘John’ face.”
“I’m told that often.”
“Do you live in the city?”
“Yes. I work as a… pest control agent.” Maria glared at him.
“What was with that pause? By pest control do you mean some sort of shady hitman for hire?” John was taken aback.
“Just because I’m only 57 percent organic doesn’t mean I’m a hitman… I hunt bounties and do security gigs.”
“Seriously? That’s kind of cool.”
“What’s cool about it? Work is work kid.”
“Rugged man with a dangerous past, works security to survive, hunts bounties to thrive!” John pulled out a flask and took a drink. “See! You fit perfectly!”
“It’s just water kid.” John sighed and looked out the window into the storm.
“This your first time to the big city kid?” Maria was slightly annoyed by being called kid, only because the adults in her village all called her that.
“Yes, honestly, I’m kind of nervous, I’m going to be renting out a room close to the school. But at least I won’t have to listen to my brothers annoying me.”
“Hmm…” The rest of the trip past without incident, Maria had been traveling on the night express in order to save money. The sun was just beginning to rise as she stepped off the train, John got off the train with her.
“Hey kid, here’s my number. This is a hard city to survive in alone.”

>> No.10255354
File: 38 KB, 671x553, Alpha doge.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10255354

>>10255344
He gave Maria a piece of scrap paper before walking off towards a taxi bank. Maria stared at all at her surroundings, the large spires went up hundreds of floors, in the middle of the city was a large structure that went all the way past the clouds. Maria pulled her suit case along out of the way of passersby and looked at her map.
“What was the address again…” she mumbled to herself, it was still raining. Maria flagged a sky taxi awkwardly, to her surprise there was nobody driving, only a soft but comforting voice said.
“Where would like to go this evening Ma’am?” Maria placed her suitcase in the back before saying to the bodiless voice.
“Sector 3, Block 17, Tower 32.” Maria settled down in the passenger seat. “Are you a robot?”
“I’m a AI, not a robot, my body is being repaired, but I don’t actually need to be in the vehicle to operate it.”
“Sorry if I offended you, I’m new to the city. How do people normally refer to… androids and stuff.” Maria smile at the little camera that peered at her.
“’Accelerators’ is a broad-based term in reference to various humanoid machines and other non-human intelligences.” The taxis hover engines activated smoothly and before Maria knew it the taxi was in the air gliding though the sky, the storm clouds were beginning to pass however a smog still remained. However, no matter how smooth the drive was it still felt as if she was in the cockpit of a fighter jet, by the end of the trip she felt sick.
“You’ll have to walk the rest of the way.” The taxi flew off, Maria walked along the footpath, everything around her felt so sterile and clean. Few people were walking down the streets. ‘This is a more affluent district after all…’ Most people were either still sleeping or they simply travelled in vehicles rather then walk.

that's all I have written so far.

>> No.10255363
File: 5 KB, 211x239, Ha.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10255363

My peepee hard

>> No.10255368

>>10255363
Thank you friend

>> No.10255373
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10255373

>he had many different prosthetics and augmentations,

Stopped here.

Wtf is with sf genre writers making their own threads for critiques? It's probably the same guy, lol.

Stop writing.

>> No.10255375

>>10255373
What should I use instead?

>> No.10255384

>>10255375

"catalog", then either "search", or ctrl+f "crit". We have threads for this shit.

Sage.

>> No.10255385

>>10255375
Don't just tell the reader he is augmented. Describe his robotic features so they can visualize it as opposed to "He have full of robot".

>> No.10255389

>>10255384
Ok

>> No.10255393

>>10255385
Duly noted