/lit/ - Literature

The opening lines of my novel:

>Jesus christ this room is full of black people.
A little cringe crept out of his belly at the sentiment. Fear burst undeniable from his central nervous system despite his attempts to quell it. He rushed through filling out the form. Next to him a sour-smelling drunk quavered and quivered. The pen jigged between his faltering forefinger and thumb. Derek shrugged inside, and with a finishing flourish to his signature picked up his report from the makeshift desk. He scanned the room quickly to find a seat somewhat removed from the rest of the occupants. There were none. He'd spent too much time twirling his eyes around. Intent revealed. Nervousness. They could smell it on him. He feigned confidence and sat down.
The drunk stood at the window arguing with a mildly pretty but slightly heavy black woman. His skin was grimy, marked with a lattice-work of dirt on top pink flesh scorched by the spring sun. Every word slipped and slurred out of his mouth. A few people laughed as his belligerent grumbles grew louder.
Derek rolled the paper up, tapped his toes, fidgeted in various ways and faked nonchalance at the man's behavior.
Two security guards entered the room. The drunk looked up and in a faltering stumble-step tried to approach them with his plea of innocence.

bawww way to delete your post :(

Yes, I have been working on a novel for the last three years.

Here is an excerpt:

A figure briefly glimpsed there entered one night the dream of a quiet walk. It is a forest clearing. A figure stands there. It is David Dickinson, David Dickinson from television, the orange man who knows about antiques.

David Dickinson’s mouth opens wider and wider until, in the rich blackness of that mouth, a white light is visible. It gets closer and closer, and as it does so, it becomes clear that it’s a unidentified man’s screaming head. The scream becomes audible, an unearthly note, high and pure. The man’s head reaches the sides of Dickinson’s maw and continues. The creak of aching leather fills the air. For the first time, you notice the expression in his eyes. They are desperate, pleading, and yet you sense that Dickinson is fully cognizant that this is the hour of his demise. With an awful, rupturing SCHUMFF the man tears out of the bleeding, buckling head of what we must, for the sake of continuity, refer to as David Dickinson. The man flies, unable to stop his fall, his muscles having atrophied during their long imprisonment within David Dickinson, and collapses in the bracken. He retches, but nothing comes; he fights to regain his breath, and at long last he speaks:
‘Free! Free at last! Oh God!’
He raises his hands in a mute prayer of inexpressible gratitude, still panting, exhausted.
In the bushes, what remains of his head in his hands, cowers Dickinson.
At last, I speak:
‘Who are you? What are you?”
The figure suddenly, horribly STOPS shaking, as though it had merely been enacting the pantomime of pain; the outward show of a human response it could understand conceptually, but never experience. It lowers its arms, revealing its baleful head. Little of a never-handsome face remains. Then I am back in my cell again.

yep...

I have 1 and a half pages of good stuff and at least a hundred of pages fulloffuck and retarded shit

Just started working on a short story which I think might turn into a short novel. It's about the 'new kid' in school who has terrible luck and subsequently has a tough time 'fitting in'. Without much in the way of friends he finds his own ways to make school more amusing (basically, by being a fucking rogue lone-wolf badass; schoolyard style).

>>1022301
I posted it on a whim and didn't feel like listening to ridicule about it, so went back and deleted it. People here just shit all over everything. I go to actual workshops and discuss these things, or I do so with professors willing to indulge me, and friends who either enjoy reading or are simply willing to look at it for the fuck of it.

>>1022319

Oh wow, sounds great.

I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, but what the hell:

Warm life pulsed from the wound in his chest. Though his hand reached and clenched at it desperately, no amount of clutching would be enough to stop its flow. With every heart beat, he came closer to his assured death. The already darkened skies only deepened into absolute abyss until there was nothing in his view.
There, lying lifeless, the youth lay in a pool of his ever-expanding blood. Mere breaths away from oblivion and all he could feel was frustration; that he would die in such a meaningless way without even knowing what it was that caused it.
That he was 17 years old and would die having never done a single thing that mattered in his life. Going to school in and out, passing classes and working towards a future, but really just twittering the days away. Even the future he worked towards held no impact. There was no significance in any occupation available to the youth of the city as even the Mayor was more of a celebrity than a community leader.
The pooling murk around him only increased as time passed, his heart refusing to stop pumping blood. A low hiss shuddered from his body and the blood began to lift in turn. Drenched in his own blood, his clothes turned to a bright vermilion. It was brighter than any shade he had ever seen before. Even his hair seemed affected by the warped essence that leaked from him. As his final mortal breaths left his chest, his whole being became a tremor with invisible electricity coursing through his veins.
That was when his ender came into view. The nightmare that had been pursuing him, and ultimately torn into his heart. He knew there was no reason that he should be alive right now, but he would be sure to use every last borrowed second to lay into this beast a death ten times worse than the one it had dealt him.

>>1022322
sarcasm detected?

>>1022325

yeah

From a long short story in progress:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello, I'm Fred West
Stranger: yes holle
You: Holle?
You: What are you talking about you fucking stupid ape?
You: Get your head out of your arse and type, cumstain.
You: Type NOW
You: YOU WORTHLESS FUCKING CUNT
Stranger: f
Stranger: u
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: c
Stranger: k
You: Well done
You: You can spell
Stranger: bicth
You: HA
Stranger: the son of bicth
You: Try again, you illiterate caitiff.
Stranger: can u speak some well word?
You: YOU FUCKING SPASTIC
You: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You’ll have my horror. You’ll have my horror like chutney in your mouth.
Stranger: My soul is black inside.
You: Answer, nigger.
You: Good.
Stranger: Pain is no fear.
You: It'll match your outside aspect then, you toe-faced coon.
You: Are you black?
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You: I am Fred West.
You: This time I've come back as words.
Stranger: I am not black.
Stranger: Niggers ruin the world.
You: You pathetic fool.
You: I ruin the world.
You: I am Portreeve a Fucking.
You: Are you a woman or a man?
You: Answer
You: I need a new child
You: to cover in shit
Stranger: A man
You: Then you will be my son.
You: THEN YOU WILL BE MY SON.
You: I will fuck your anus, lube you with the putty used to build a conservatory.
You: Despair and die, your woe means nothing.
You: I am the truth.
You have disconnected.

>>1022326
well suck it bitch. come up with something better

>>1022332

OK, here goes. From my current project:

My disgust with him has been mingled with doubt about myself, about my own unwillingness to offer violence. It is not the will of the organisation that I reveal myself as yet, and it is not lost on me that sudden action would jeopardise my position, but I long to slash the throat of such a one. I long to drive to his house and kill his family, everyone he has ever loved, including his pets, while he is forced to watch. Then shear his hamstrings. Then destroy his eyes with a hot pin. Then beat his face in slightly, ruining teeth, cutting the tongue. Then leave him alive with their remains, sliding, alone forever. But everyone has dreams that stay dreams. The idyll warms, in any case.

It further occurs to me that I’d like to pour hot golden syrup down his throat, sliding a perfect sheath of liquid over the blooded stumps and shards of tooth, coursing down, a glove like mercury inside him, choking him, half-vomiting, scared to breathe, his neck unmoving as his pig brain imagines knives. But what would his eyes look like, once I had wielded a hot pin against their surface? Alas, my dream founders on a lack of experience, as I have never done that to anyone, cannot speculate on how the colour would change, the texture alter. There’s still time. For now I shall imagine the eyes boxed instead, the flesh swollen, purple, engorged, tender, female.

I'm writing a novel as a joke, though I am taking it quite seriously.

This is a part from it:
Josh was exhausted, tired from his partially stressful day, so he walked to his bed, an old and worn out mattress suspended by 8 inches above the floor by 4 planks of wood. Josh saw some strange looking bugs crawling through the holes in his mattress, that's when he noticed the dead hooker with a snake coming out of what Josh thought was her vagina. It smelled disgusting, like rotting meat with shit on it. Josh gagged. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, and the dead woman was gone, along with the smell. Josh thought that he must've been hallucinating. He was about to step into his bed when he saw the same dead woman, this time under his bed. Josh pooped just enough for him to clench it in between his butt cheeks so it didn't hit his pants. He noticed he was hallucinating again as the dead person had already disappeared. Josh had to figuratively wrestle his way to his bathroom, which was in the kitchen. The walk felt like hours to Josh, yet in reality, it was only 23 seconds.

I personally think it's fantastic.

>>1022321
well I think there's enough stories posted here that most haters that are gonna hate will skip over your story.

would you mind posting it again?

I'm just trying to write a short story that is not boring. Once I do a few I think I can sell I will maybe sit down and write a novel. That is my day job does not get in the way.

>>1022338

Dig it.

Its a cyberpunk novel basically about a bunch of people testifying in court after an incident involving a terrorist group(think Deus Ex where the bad guys are good guys controlled by other bad guys). Theres a lifless hacker, a modded soldier, a genetically spliced journalist(whom is also a painkiller addict) a girl from fucking nowhere that stands in awe at the big city and a couple of extras that die'. Lot of couter-espionage, lot of backstabbing and symbolisms and references.

>>1022338

You tore this from my life.

>>1022338
fuck'n lol'd at the pooping his pants part

Last night I had an appalling dream in which my father knelt down and got into my face in a threatening, sexual manner while I lay in bed. I was terrified, immobilised. Before my head turned as I heard him passing the door of my room, or no, wait, it was after he had entered the room, but while I was still trying to behave as though I wasn’t frightened, there was a film on a small black-and-white television I was watching in which one blonde woman was making incisions in the breast of another. I shot my fist out to repel the foul vermin, and woke myself up with the noise this made as it hit the wall.

>>1022342
I'm glad.
>>1022346
Truly, I'd hope so. I want my novel to retain realism and elements that people would find familiar, situations close to things in their reals lives, a relatable
story, while still not quite being fully held back by realism, laws of physics, etc. I'm hoping for it to become a literary phenomenon, a masterpiece to most people maybe. I have a feeling it just might.

>>1022350
lolwut

>>1022350
Very good, I say.

>>1022350

You hope it was a dream, at least.

>>1022360

Thank you!

>>1022363

All will be revealed when I finish the novel.

>>1022364
Is it a part from something larger you are writing, or did you just feel like typing about your dream? You didn't really specify... If it's the former, what is a short summary of the work? I just feel curious.

>>1022370

It's a part from something larger.

>>1022370

It's hard to summarize, but I've posted other excerpts.

>>1022311
>>1022328
>>1022330
>>1022334

^ These are all from my book.

>>1022374
I think it seems quite good.

>>1022378

Oh, great! Thank you!

I don't want to go too deep into the plot, but it is in the Sci-fi genre. It's basically set in the distant future long after a rogue AI assimilates the consciousnesses of what it though was everyone human being alive and receded into isolation for unknown reasons whilst the remaining people recovered and formed a global society based around trade between villages spread sparsely across the globe, each village independent from other villages around it.
There are three main plots and no true antagonists. The main character, (as of yet unnamed) is manipulated into serving the interests of the AI during a bungled trade mission when ambushed by revolutionaries seeking to unify the world under one banner and re-assimilate old technology to maintain control of the population, risking the evolution of another AI to compete with the current one, still maintaining watch over earth, something the AI does not want. It’s as at this point the AI chooses to activate the local watcher. A genetically engineered probe designed to survey the human population and maintain watch over their evolution. The Watcher is from an aesthetic standpoint, a completely normal human (female, tehehe). The watcher itself is completely unaware of her position and for most part, as is mostly in place as eyes and ears to the AI. This plot is more about the human experience and what it means to be human.

The second character is the protagonist’s sister, who, after hearing of the caravan’s disappearance goes in search of her brother and falls in with the revolutionaries and learns more of their cause and rises in their ranks. More of a sub plot if anything. Not much going on here.

>>1022456

The third and final main character is… also unnamed and is introduced before the current events of the book take place. He is a bit of a ladies’ man whose wife went missing long before his introduction to the story and is the father of a 18 year old daughter. He serves as the captain of a flying ship designed to be separate from the AI which at the time of these events is integrated into everyone and everything via nanomachines . When first introduced he is en route to shut down the AI who is going rogue and seemingly taking control of peoples bodies before killing them at random. At which point in a final act of desperation to preserve itself the AI (somehow) sends the captain and his crew forward in time to the point where current events are taking place, where he resolves to take the crew and himself to complete their “thousand year mission”. I’m hoping for this character to have a plot with some emotional strings attached if nothing else, his role in the plot is to be a major thorn in the side of the protagonist.

I’m still ironing a lot of this out, I was just wondering if anyone found the plot interesting.

>>1022456

Holy jesus this sounds epic

You MUST send me a copy, I beg of you.

Have not written anything of book-length since early this year, mainly focusing on my short stories as I seem to prefer penning a short story lately versus a longer work.

My latest piece was a surreal work, which takes a look at the drug metaphors of Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit, as well as some of the more subversive elements of Lewis Carroll's masterwork, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

It features a heroine disillusioned with her family's sheltered lifestyle, and so plunges herself into a dangerous world of sex and drugs so that she might remind herself that she is living at all. Her world of rules and deadly games is rocked by the presence of a drug dealer who calls himself the White Knight. This character is a symbolic representation of the author Lewis Carroll, and his obsession with the girl Alice Liddell.

>>1022471

Your email field says "wat", did the plot confuse you?

I tried writing short stories multiple times, but I always found them too shitty, got annoyed by then, and ended deleting them. Meh.

Does this count?

>>1022484

My email field always says wat, man. I came from /o/, I'll probably die on /o/.

>wat

>>1022522

Ah, I had no idea. This plot is a little more out there than usual but I liked the scope of it while I was formulating it in my head.

Though I find making up names the hardest part.

>>1022557

Same.

I love writing Military Fiction for that reason. Most of the time, it's just Captains and Sergeants and Privates and Lieutenant Corporals and whatnot.

The plot is actually rather smooth. I didn't have problems grasping it at all.

>>1022557

Same.

I love writing Military Fiction for that reason. Most of the time, it's just Captains and Sergeants and Privates and Lance Corporals and whatnot.

The plot is actually rather smooth. I didn't have problems grasping it at all.

>>1022588

That's good... I think.

How about... a book about two men... who fuck eachothers brains out?

u like?

>>1022703
You had your chance, Mr. Burroughs.

yeah, writing, I've done 3 pages since march... hat's right, I'm lazy, I guess you'd never guess if I haven't told you.
It's basically a war/adventure story set in fantasy world with steampunk babilonian-summerian jew dwarfs, zombies and mages that have powers like superheroes, and by "like" I mean "only such powers".

>>1022706

I'm having a hard time picturing this, got any extracts I can read?

>>1022709
only in Polish, and translating would take some time

>>1022709

Fire, water, air, earth, light, electricity and Higgs bosons were spining around Zachary, who, at the time being, was merely conscious, having directed all his willpower to commanding the fire, of which there seemed to be unending resources, just like {uhh, hard to translate} there seemed to be unending masses of other elements {?}. And all of this tried to kill him in the horrific world without gravity, where time, possibly, was flowing across. Fire was his only defence, the only thing, over which he had control, and only it meant something, the Fire giving him power, the Fire, on which he could rely.

uhh, some parts which I consider better-written, translated quickly, as you can see. It's one of the main character's doctorate mage test.

Almost finished a novel focusing on a recently appointed white mage in a world where magic is heavily regulated by bureaucratic guilds and often mired in paperwork, being the source of many advances to society (water, heat, lighting, medicine etc.). Said white mage is absolutely rubbish, having spent his entire school life studying a different mage discipline, and the story follows him as he relearns his trade from one of his former teacher's friends; a veteran medic mage of a foreign war.

There's also side plots following two black mages (usually considered to be glorified library clerks) attempting to break into the forbidden field of work that is necromancy, and a thief with a Secret Past That's Bound to Catch Up to Her Sooner or Later(tm).

Just over 400 pages at the moment. It's pretty light-hearted, and it's my first attempt at writing a book, so it's probably absolute crap by /lit/'s standards.

>>1022832

What are you going to do when it's done?

God, i've read about 3 things posted here and im already tired.

You guys make Hemmingway seem direct. Fuck.

Mine is about a guy who dies, but something goes terribly wrong, and he ends up behind the scenes of the world instead of in heaven.

>>1022846

Is that an insult, obese bus driver from Billy Madison?

What didn't you like exactly?

>>1022840
It's going to be either a follow-up to that, a modern-day zombie love story, or a first-person sci-fi that follows a loading dock worker and her sudden introduction into the deadly world of corporate mercenary mech pilots.

Or an alternate-history Western. (inb4 alternate-history rage)

>>1022846
Silly Farley, you can't post on /lit/ if you're dead.

>>1022850

That ones sounds pretty cool. I can't see much in the way of dialogue though.

>>1022856
> Josh was exhausted, tired from his partially stressful day, so he walked to his bed, an old and worn out mattress suspended by 8 inches above the floor by 4 planks of wood.

>>1022867
In the chapter I`m working on right now he is in a deep conversation with Death.

>>1022869

Oh, had to scroll back to read that.

That man was breaking the golden rule of showing, not telling. He would do well to incorperate that fact into his characters action, rather than the narrators words.

>>1022850
I'm envisioning a sort of back-to-front Truman Show on a larger scale.

I am intrigued.

>>1022877
>>1022867
Thank you for your compliments.

Hey, I'm on the wrong board. But might as well post here since I've been meaning to do that.

Going to be historical fiction based on Egyptian gods. Rethought the idea and might as well include Sumerian legend. Going to fore-go the bullshit including the Catholic religion and stick with their military conquest.

>>1022877
I suppose that is one way to look at it. I`m having a lot of fun writing it. Plus I get to do a lot of interesting studying for it as well.

I am writing something which I aim to have finished next year.

I've never been able to explain it well but it involves the protagonist accidently dooming Earth to another world full of fantastical (unkillable whilst in our world) creatures from every avenue of creation, from mythical and legendary creatures, to generic ones from the page of a fantasy novel. It explains much of the origins of our worlds myths and legends and it is an alternate-history/reality, in a sense. For example, most of our legendary creatures from myth actually did exist. The Kraken did roam our seas and there was a labyrinth with a Minotaur in it, Vampires, werewolves, angels and demons, anything you can think of, they are all justified.

Still, the main focus on the novel is that being the hero fucking sucks, being endowed with gradually evolving powers is not cool, how the "hero" deals with the pressure and how modern society reacts to such beings (General populace hating/resenting/fearing you, government wanting to control you etc). I know we've all read books or seen films about heroes that don't want the job but I really want to expand on that.

It's basically a modern fantasy (Urban fantasy? I've heard that thrown about.) with major elements of action/horror/sci-fi and a little teenage angst thrown into it whilst the MC matures.

Pic related, the inspiration behind my story.

>>1022899
Forgot pic

Yes. I'm ripping off Pollyanna and setting it in the early 90s. Psst, shhhh - don't tell anyone.

I imagine someone walking into the bookstore. He or she walks through the fantasy section. I'm published, but of course not well known or different enough to get prominent display. This person skims through the titles and randomly picks mine out. He or she dismisses it as pulp and moves along.

Anyway. My novel is about a very young god. Unwittingly, it has poured too much of itself into its creations, this being the source of magic. Over the course of the first millennium, the people take full advantage of their powers and belief in this god quickly diminishes. Unlike its creations, the god needs belief for its powers to function and when someone tries to usurp its place, it tries to regain control.

>>1022899
Sounds like a shitty Divine Comedy, bro.

>>1022905
Divine Comedy being the poem Dante travelling through hell?

I fail to see the links here.

>>1022904
I`m sorry, I don`t quite get it. Can you perhaps refrase it? English isn`t my first language, and you have crammed a lot of information into a very short text.

I'll venture a go.

It's a post-apocalyptic. Shortly before the war that nearly wiped out humanity, a branch of super humans became known to the public. No one knew what they were, and they, added to the mix of international political tensions, caused the war. Now however, a few settlements of survivors have cropped up across the world. Some places in the world are basically untouched, but some (such as the UK, where this is set) are left in ruins.

14 years after the war, one man who lives in a society of such survivors sets up an internal police to try to make sure the settlement doesn't tear itself apart. Meanwhile, one settlement to the north of the country is making war on the other ones - but this one is suspiciously organised, and has weapons on par with a military. As they begin to attack settlements closer and closer to the protagonist's, he begins to question whether humanity is worth saving. After a while he decides that his daughter is the only one he cares about, and that most of humanity is too worthless for him to sacrifice himself for.

As he gets more and more cynical, he has to make a decision about the attacking settlement from the north. The added mix of these superhumans starting to crop up again makes the people in the protagonist's settlement go apeshit, and so even harder to control.

That basically takes you to about half way through the novel. After that, things change dramatically.

>Everyone on /lit/ writes sci-fi or fantasy

I'm not judging, just remarking. I remember genre fiction getting so much shit when this board started, and here we are.

>>1022935

People write what the people want to read.

Why do you people write, when the chance of being published is so hopelessly low?

>>1022935
I don`t. I`m here, and therefore you are wrong.

>>1022951
Why do people do anything when the chance for success is so low? Maybe we should all just go die in a fire?

People do what people want to do. Hope springs eternal.

>>1022951
Most writers have day jobs

Yes. I'm writing as science-fiction/horror tale about deep-space exploration of the Alpha Centauri star for extraterrestrial life. The crew find beings, but they wipe out the entire crew except for the captain, who is Earth's decorated hero. The captain is experimented on and injected with a virus that can transform human DNA into alien DNA(or zombies, I haven't worked that out) only the captain retains his humanity and form and returns to Earth. After all Hell breaks loose, the captain must be killed. Every group is after him for the technology, the ANE knows he must be killed, so they sent the captain's last surviving soldier to kill him.

But no, I have not seen myself as a famous writer. Too much expectation.

>>1023101
That sounds like an american action movie, not a book. Perhaps you should try writing a screenplay instead?

I've already written my Nobel acceptance speech.

I'm on the querying phase and it sucks.

>>1023107

Nah, I plan on writing a sequel, maybe. I don't like writing screen plays. Nor do I know how to. I much prefer writing in a book format.

>>1023124
Herp.

Try writing in sentence format first.

>>1023126

Trying pulling the dick out of your ass, first.

I've written two novel-length works.

One is science fiction, about aliens who abduct humans to use as genetic material in controversial experiments to restore the male/female balance of their population. Not all of them want the experiments to be successful, so there are workers on the ships that start by quietly sabotaging things, but eventually civil war breaks out, a few humans who are still on the ship get caught in the crossfire.

The other is magical realism about a woman whose son was taken from her at a young age, and then the boys around town who would be his age start turning up dead. I don't even know how to explain the later resolution of the plot. It was pretty ridiculous and I wrote it two years ago. It goes without saying that both of these are pretty much too shameful for serious publication.

I just wrapped up two short stories, one about a discouraged musician who becomes a kleptomaniac and grows closer with his estranged uncle, the other about a upholstery shop owner who is forced to make a shaky moral decision to stay in business. Both of them are alright, but need some help before I'd send them anywhere. I'm working on one about a kid who claims to see UFOs now, but it's not really going to be sci-fi since nothing concrete about the existence of aliens or whatever will ever be discussed.

>>1023127
Look, it's a sentence. He is showing progress.

>>1023131
Don't be such a condescending fucktard. Grow up and get past your "herp sentence fragment derp" 15 year-old grammar Nazi stage.

>>1023273
>condescending

>>1023287
>Implying that it wasn't condescending.

>>1023485

>HE ACTUALLY CAME BACK!!!!

>>1023516
>Trying to mock people like a mindless cunt with no real substance to anything he's saying.

I am actually on and off as far was writing my book goes, it's a story that spawned from a dream. Here's a bit of it:

“Ven, your father was not a merchant.” Ven studied his mother intently, as if examining a puzzle. He did not look concerned in the least- instead, engraved upon his face was an expression of pure determination and sincere interest. “Your father was a mechanic.” Wretch quickly took over the role of explaining things to Ven. “Yer dad, Ven, built things. With metal. Y’know, the stuff banned here? Well he used to deal in it. He had his own workshop over in the Market. It was a huge place, with tools all over the place and people buyin’ his products every minute. That’s where yeh used to live, yeh know.” Ven stared off into space, thinking of living in a huge house. “In his workshop, he’d shape the metal and make ferocious weapons, powerful shields, and extraordinary armor fer the people o’ Nesh.” Nesh was the nearest city to Urr’top, though it wasn’t close by any means. It was about one hundred miles away. The second nearest city lied to the north. It was the much smaller city of Woodridge, nestled away in the snowy mountains, about twenty miles farther than Nesh. “Nesh had a vast army,” continued Wretch. “They frequently required new resources, considerin’ their soldiers weren’t so hot at conservin’ ‘em. Yer dad was responsible for makin’ their army ferocious, to put it simply. This gave him a hefty sum o’ cash, since mechanics were so rare. Why do yeh think yeh’ve got such a nice place, eh?” Ven looked around at his home with a look of awe, as if the walls themselves were made of gold. “Yer dad didn’t just make things fer Nesh, though, no sir. He also made inventions of his own...

>>1023529

>HE IS STILL HERE

>>1023534
"He was workin’ on a new creation, a transportation device that required nothin’ but coal to move! It would need a couple tons o’ metal, because it were a huge machine, but he said that it would shape the world we lived in. Yes, yer dad was a man with high hopes. Then he began seein’ things in the woods.”

That's from the first chapter, where the main character's uncle is explaining his "origins", if you will.

Ultimately the story is about this kid befriending a creature that really isn't supposed to be befriended, and going on a quest with the creature to find his father.

>>1023536

>>1023126
>>1023131
>>1023287
>>1023516
>>1023536

Sure is summer in here

60 years ago, the bad guys won. Then they started infighting and the baddest of the bad stood triumphant. Unfortunately, he was also a little crazy.

He wanted two things: to rule absolutely and to live forever.

Flashforward to today, where every living person is a clone of him, and he Blade Runners everybody at, say, 30, because that's where he started going insane and doesn't want any one of his clones to usurp the throne.

One of those clones has evolved to be smarter, and he has to take down "Big Dad."


'Cuz nobodies ever written a sci-fi religion allegory, right?!

>>1023704

*nobody's

Well, this does not bode well...

i wouldn't say i've ever imagined myself as a famous writer or anything like that, but over the years of working i have developed a habit of explaining my writing to myself as if i'm in an interview. in a strange way it helps me to look at my own work in an objective view, or at least a different point of view, in which it's easier for me to admit to my own flaws and mistakes as a writer.
kinda weird i know, but it helps in an odd way.

>>1023131

Since when was it required to write in proper sentence format on 4chan? God, fuck me with your sentence structure.

>>1023130

I really liked your first one. I think it's a bit far-fetched, but it certainly has potential.

>>1023704
let me guess, it's always this "evolved" clone that becomes the next leader of the rest? and that's how it's gone time and time again?

i saw the matrix already.

>>1023719

I do that too.

Im currently writing a story about this schizophrenic painter who can see into other dimensions. Its kinda weird.

I'm writing a story about a dude who falls for a half-insane art dealer. She gets him involved in various hijinks involving smuggled art, museum politics, and stealing a renowned drawing from a Howard Hughes-esque billionaire.

>>1025103
Thaaaaaat's not how schizophrenia works!

I'm trying to write a book, but I have no idea what it's about.

>>1022832

Sounds fun.

>>1025181

He didn't say he could see into other dimensions BECAUSE he was schizophrenic. Lrn2readingcomprehension.

Yeah, I am gonna work on a novel idea I have had kicking around recently.

Basically it is a fantasized version of the mythological invasions of Ireland, possibly starting with the Tuatha De Dannon

Writing about vampires(real ones, not twilight). One's a narcissistic(but introverted) crossdresser, and the other is a dominant, egotistical hedonist. It's based kind of off The Picture of Dorian Gray, but only the immortal, dandy part. I was also thinking of adding a nazi vampire that the narcissist made by accident.

I don't really have a story yet, but I'm working on character development. Trying like hell to distance their characters from the vampire mold.

>>1025219
describe what you mean by 'real' vampires. somehow i doubt you really mean it the way you think.

I came up with a beggining of a story.. only thing is i cant think of how the rest of the plot ties into an end

>>1025271

traditional vampires that don't sparkle is what I mean.

>>1022339
This thread's still here so fuck it, why not. Edited it a little bit today, too. The opening lines of my novel:

Jesus christ this room is full of black people.
A cringe crept out of his belly at the thought. His central nervous system shot out minuscule pulses of fear. Feigning confidence, he veered to the side of the room to fill out his form. Next to him a sour-smelling drunk quavered and quivered. In his shaking hand the pen jigged between thumb and forefinger.
Derek finished his signature with a tiny flourish and picked up his report from the makeshift desk. He scanned the space ahead of him for a seat somewhere isolated from his fellow occupants.
He'd spent too much time twirling his eyes across the room. Intent revealed. Nervousness. Some of these people had been to prison. Could they smell it on him?
Sweat shows.
The old alcoholic argued with a mildly pretty but heavy-set black woman behind her plexi-glass screen. The words slipped and slurred from his shaking jaw. Grimy skin covered in a lattice-work of dirt and pink flesh burnt in the spring sun.
His grumbles and murmurs grew belligerent. Spectators glances' met, sadly shaking heads, chuckles and snickers.
Derek rolled up his paper, tapped his toes, fidgeted, faked nonchalance at the scene.
Two security guards entered entered the room. The drunk spied them coming from the corner of his eye. He weaved and faltered, approached them with a plea of innocence.

>>1025219

This sounds like an Anne Rice book. Not complaining, though. If you pull it off, it'll be great.

>>1025308

win

>>1025286
well that hardly tells me anything. almost nobody knows what vampire really used to be. i'm talking like the pre-dracula age.

>>1025308
I'll go ahead and finish. It's the first chapter. Still heavily editing. I've got a ton of work to do on perfecting the style, so anybody who wants to go "LULZ IT SUCKS FIRST PERSON PRESENT TENSE OOOH YOU'RE EDGY" go get fucked. Céline did the same thing. So did Faulkner. Anyhow, to continue:

Each one snatched a wrist out of the air. The poor grizzled bastard knew the tempo to this tune.
Feebly pulling his arms. Twisting tugs of his shoulders. Incoherent bits of groans and grumbles bursting from his mouth. The unmistakable, pitiful shake in the lips that precedes crying began dripping from every syllable.
A wail, a keening sort of croak, builds and escapes the slob's lips. They're closing the cuffs. It's looking like the show's over. Everyone's still staring; nothing else to do but watch the resolution. Derek's staring rapt and fixed.

What the hell? The old drunk's kicking up a fuss, now? He's shouting, cursing, dancing with crazy kicks between the cop's elbows! He stinks like a sweaty sack of shit 6 feet away. Every twist and tumble of his torso's fanning it into my face. Eugh!
His eyes are glistening, wet horse-wild rolling globes bloodshot, shining like a fanatic. He's a prophet shaking with divine ecstasy. His words ring across the room like a fire alarm.
Chuckles and chortles. Nobody can understand a single word. I sure can't. But we're enjoying the scene. Redneck cousin-fucking carnies couldn't build a better ride.
Gurgles and grunts coming out quick now. His eyes connect with mine. Locked on, down the iron sight of his big Roman nose, barrel of a maw point-blank, can't miss.
That lull in every crowd happens. The pause is just perfect for it.

>>1025308

I like, but you have a pattern.

quavered and quivered

slipped and slurred

weaved and faltered

Sometimes one verb is all you need.

>>1025356
Continued:

He marshals his gusto for one bit of coherence, staring right into my eyes, leaning and lunging into me.
"Yeww Esh gubbermint ain' werth a damn ta thuh white man!"
The silence was just perfect for it. One more lunge, another gust of sweet sickness tangy with stale beer.
"Weeeerrrr thuh neggers!"
He gets it out one more time before the guards hokey-pokey him out the doorway, right leg in, left leg out, shaking him all about.

Derek sat very still. The words had soaked into the spongey minds of the room. They'd all heard it. He was implicated by paint-job in some schizophrenic's Manson-family fantasies. His forehead leaked like an ice cube tossed onto summer sidewalk.
Three different beatings and a dozen apologies he couldn't even understand enough to articulate played out in his head.

They can't all be looking at me no they understand it's in my head.

He turned in his front-row corner seat. Many, many eyes found his. He resumed his former posture, a little more hunched over this time.
A sibilant whisper. "Psst."
"Hey. Whiteboy."
Derek sighed. He was scared, and he felt very, very alone. He turned to face what was coming.
Three grins directly in front of him now.
One pointed at him, shaking his finger in a pantomime of condemnation.
"Yerrrr thuh negger!"
Pandemonium. Laughter. Great gales and booms. Chairs rocking, some just rolling their eyes, others slapping thighs.
Derek blushed without understanding why, and laughed too.

People aren't all bad.

>>1025353

Yes, Dracula age. As in they can be in sunlight if they just fed, but in the Anne Rice archetype as well, as in religious stuff doesn't affect them.

>>1025353

Vampires were corpses uncovered, bloated by decay and flushed pink. People believed the dead rose and went to feed on the blood of the living, which caused sickness or other problems. They dug up the corpse and staked them in place to keep them from being able to rise and haunt their relatives.

I do agree that vampires in fiction are a tad annoying, though. They're predators, at the end of the night, and they are hungry for one thing and one alone: Blood. Representing them as anything but monsters degrades them. Having vampires be sparkly playboys is like having Typhon worry over a prom date instead of shaking the pillars of creation.

From a script I finished awhile ago.
ROBERT
When you die. What will people remember you for?
Catcher looks on behind Roy.
ROY
You shut the fuck up with this rant. I’ve heard it before, it means nothing.
ROBERT
It means a lot. It’s what a mans life is worth. When you die the only thing that you will be left with is your name. The material goods. They mean nothing. A shitload of cash. Sure, your family is gonna be swimming in green. But the name means everything. And a name like Hutton. Now... I don’t wanna be the one who is responsible for the loss of the meaning of that name.
ROY
Bein really childish here kid. You coulda stayed in the god damn city. Did something meaningful with your life. Now you’re gonna stay on this shithole farm with nothing to you but a name.
ROBERT
You can leave now.

>>1025411
Grapes of Wrath was awesome.

>>1025397
yeah that's a bit more like it.

but honestly, on the flip side i'm also slightly annoyed that twilight get's alittle too much credit for ruining the vampires. they were shit way before meyer made the shitty ideas super popular.

>>1025397

But they are monsters. Just sentient, self-aware ones that use cunning to live. It's no fun making them the 40 Days of Night type that are mindless killing machines, I believe they need character. But by all means, I agree they shouldn't be pussies that don't actually drink blood.

>>1022330
>You’ll have my horror. You’ll have my horror like chutney in your mouth.
Still lolling now.

"Vampires are real, you sucky dry!"
I was nervous after I kissed you that night.

The End

I AM WRITING THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL BUT IM NOT POSTING IT CAUSE YOU WONT RECOGNIZE MY GENIUS YOU R 2 STUPID
>>1022321

>>1025411
Way to feed cheap psychology into a dialogue.

>>1025308
Too many adjectives, too many big words, comes out as artificial. Seems to go nowhere.

Not writing right now, but I've won quite the writing competitions. Mainly did it for the money though. Maybe I am gonna start writing some day again. But first I'll have to live.

My main idea is called

'Billy and the Clonesaurus'.


My other idea is a man locked in a futurisitc prison. Its called 'Brain Jail' and its only your own conscience that keeps you there. Scottt Carson has been imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit, he broke this rubbish law in the future, where you can't have your own thoughts.It's up to Scott to download his own feelings and find the floppy dot that contains his dead wife's memories. What he doesn't know is that she's not dead and that the evil futurstic dictator who runs Brainjail has had her cryogenically frozen

been all over there. done all of that.

>>1022218

I just started working on a book actually. I've finally got an okay idea that I can flesh out.

Yes I have imagined myself as famous, but doing that is really counter-productive and so I try to do it too often.

>>1022832
Sounds like fun, tbh. You should post it on /lit/ or at least show it to some friends or something. It's always nice with some response to your work.

Who hasn't imagined themselves as a famous writer? I do that shit every fucking day.

I haven't begun writing any of my ideas except a little short story from one. Most of them are still cultivating and constantly developing into something bigger and better.

One of these days I'll start writing dammit!

my idea is called "stealing a screenplay: the stealing of a screenplay (Screenplay part II: writing a screenplay"

building off of my inevitable success of the first movie, this movie will be about a guy who steals my screenplay. he doesn't break into the house or anything, he just searchs my garbage dump for about 2 minutes

when challenged on the film i will just claim i was testing what could be done on modern film

i expect my oscar in the mail within weeks

>>1022846
Its Hemingway. He's actually known for his sparse style of writing. I am referring you to the shortest novel he ever wrote: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

>>1026789
I never imagined myself as famous because i know i am shit and being famous would most certainly make me even more vain and miserable. Also, in order to be a writer, you have to write. I mean write hard.

>>1023719
This!

I always imagine myself being interviewed and answering questions. It helps get me in the mood to write and think of new ideas.

>>1022935

No, I write Gothic Horror, sir.

I'm in the middle of working on two novels at the same time. One is romance, bordering on erotica. The other is a dystopia set a few hundred years in the future. But I can't decide which one shall be my debut publication.

I'm also almost done with my first screenplay, and I'm looking forward to spending the next year or so, hounding acclaimed studios to produce it. I'm not going to post anything to avoid plagiarism, and spoilers.

>>1026836
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA

>>1026851
I'm glad I amuse you.

I'm writing a story about a girl who lives in a city on water and dreams about a city in the sky.

And something something evil must be stopped.

My novel is a comedy, adventure, drama set in post apocalyptic earth 2308. after wars, nuclear and hydrogen bombings, and a massive meteor striking earth, the continents have reformed and most of the world is a desert. There are roups caleld Rogues, who are essentially desert pirates, and there are many superpowered people
The main character is an eccentric albino who has the power of electricity. He travels looking for strong people to help him find what he calls "A fantastic treasure". but this is a lie, and his true plan is much more dangerous.
The best way i can describe the feel is like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets One Piece in a desert world.
i have the whole first novel finished and im looking for publishers. havent had much luck :/

>>1026972
Hayao Miyazaki's Castle in the sky?

Post-apocalyptic "anthology" of short stories following small groups of people trying to live in a world after people. Think Scorch Atlas by Blake Butler but, you know, good.

>>1026676
I already posted it you dumbfuck. Long before your post. Try following a thread sometime, then spewing out a bunch of meaningless garbage.

>>1026684
Yeah, I've been working on that with the adjectives and descriptions. It's hard to get a good balance between painting the picture, and moving the story. The entire novel's already written, I've been HEAVILY editing it for exactly what you're talking about, so thanks for the comment.
Also, it does go somewhere. I posted it in 3 parts. Also, it's the opening of a novel, I figured you're not supposed to see it going anywhere at all yet? I'm trying to grab attention, and make somebody give a shit about chapter 2, not tell them how everything's gonna go down in the entire book.
>>1025308
>>1025356
>>1025387