/lit/ - Literature

>>10252247
Hey, w-w-we gotta BUUURP we gotta find Alice Morty!

Commit to it, elbow her into the bookstacks to interrupt her little attention whore photoshoot, and run like hell

>>10252247
Excuse me ma'am I need to get to Flaubert

Say sorry without looking and move past.

No dick, not interested

>>10252263
Only correct answer.
;_;

Turn around and punch her molars out of her nostrils. Nobody bumps into me when I'm expanding my mind.

>>10252247
I met a cute Italian reader/writer at work and got her number. We went out a few times. It was pretty awkward; I can't talk to people. Even if she'd been into it, I was too uncomfortable in my own skin to make a move.

>>10252258
tsss why to flaubert why not get three flaubert or somethin

>>10252247
Tell her I like her porn.

talk to her and get a sexual harassment claim against you and ruin your future. its not worth it OP

>>10252393
Cari doesn't do lewd stuff.

Whip out dick as I pin her to shelf.

>>10252247
Do people really think she's that attractive? Kinda cute, I guess, but too much makeup, and projecting the whole defenseless schoolgirl vibe a little too much

>>10252247
Relinquish me from thy dastardly clasp,
Unconscionable consort o' Ahab!
And why doth thee torment me so, harlot?
Give thyself no foot. Out, out, brief candle.
Thy shelf is but a motley of Penguins!
Pave way, prototypes o' Plato await
For thy unmatched opponent to pore through.
Why doth thee occlude Hackett translations?
Extricate oneself,
O' median wench.

>>10252429
t. jelly roastie

>>10252247
A coming screams across her thigh

>>10252247
walk past her.

I gave up on women.

>>10252429
She's cute, but when I see a girl obviously trying to be sexual I can only assume their personality is insufferable. There are plenty of cute bookish chicks who aren't trying to draw attention to themselves. Of course, they're not any less unapproachable. Girls are just really frightening.

Tell her to watch where she's going

>>10252247
i'd ask her if i can be her moneyslave because I'm into the whole findom fetish

>>10252451
I don't get that fetish - what turns you on by wasting money?

>>10252474
Not him, but for me it's the humiliation aspect + someone exerting control over your RL (money)

do people actually go to the bookstore to try and chat up other people? This has only happened to me once

>>10252491
I chatted up this 300 lb mexican guy but that was just to get his coupon so I could buy Hesiod's Works and Days

>>10252474
it's dehumanizing. unlike all the other slave-mistress dynamics where it's fair to assume that the mistress enjoys the company of the slave too, in a findom relationship the sub is just business as usual, the dom is not interested in him at all as a person but only as an investment to monetize to the fullest. it also doesn't help that i'm obsessed with money (i work as a financial trader) and by virtue of my mindset i see women as just another commodity

>>10252495
Boner why

I feel as though Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is a red flag somehow.

>>10252511
Because it's by Lewis "little girl lover" carroll?

>>10252493
I was actually approached by a qt once. I was in the magazine section and she asked me what kind of magazines I would recommend. Not sure if she was genuinely interested in magazines or she just wanted an excuse to talk to me. Oh well.

>>10252495
this shit has collapsed the whole femdom economy too, it has literally ruined femdom. it has transformed it into something strange

i have been into femdom my whole life, and when i started out masturbating to it in the early 2000s, still seeing a lot of 90s porn of course, it was about 50/50 split between conventional dominatrix tropes and newer, more "realistic" femdom (like dropping the leather nonsense and just having a cute girl make a guy lick her feet or ass). back then i never saw anything to do with cuckolding or financial domination, or chastity for that matter

but since then, in just 15 years time, those three fetishes are 90% of femdom now. 90% of femdom clips are some variant of "JOI" or findom/cuck roleplay, where the girl does NOTHING. theres no interaction at all, she just sits on a couch 5 feet away from the camera fully clothed and goes
>You sure are dumb haha give me some money yo. Go to my website [ed: that my boyfriend or pimp runs, since not a single one of these websites is run by an actual girl but by webmasters who know how to run a stable of girls] and pay me lots of money loser. Buy me shit lol

fetlife and similar venues are now 99.9999% fat-ass dropouts and overthehill girls cresting 25-30 who just want free money, who list themselves as "switches" or dommes looking for "paypigs". they arent even good at it, its not a real return, women have no fucking business sense anyway so they can never do it right (i know because i briefly ran a similar thing selling girls panties, and the girls always wanted to do "i need $20 so ill spend 10 hours talking to one guy who might give me $20?" and i immediately just went, no, let's systematize this and expand expontentially by reinvesting and getting more girls)

i just dont recognize my own fetish anymore. it used to be about bossy girls sitting on your face. now its some kind of horrible immigrant ghetto full of middle aged schizophrenic broken men spending all day on fetish-oriented social media trying to come to some kind of agreement with fatass girls who have no life plans and think they can subsist on selling their fatass granny panties once per month to a guy who has a 31.9% chance of being a serial rapist, and bisexual couples cruising for "forced bisexual" fetishists so they can get AIDS from strangers

i hate this planet. i want this planet to burn. i want to watch the sun swell up and set the atmosphere on fire. i hate being alive and i hate femdom and i want everyone on this worthless piece of shit planet to pay for their failures in one final atonement

>>10252247
>ask if she wants to see my dick
>immediately take off all my clothes anyway, right in the bookstore
>masturbate
>go home and write about the experience in my journal of collected encounters and publish it

>>10252434
Same, lad. I'm grateful for the experiences I've had with my past girlfriends, but women in general are insufferable. I haven't dated in 2 years. The only thing that sucks I'm not comfortable having sex outside of a relationship so I'm sexually frustrated.

>>10252549
Why? (srs)

I love women; their innate insecurity ( no matter how talented or beautiful she is), their little lies, emotional fluctuations, etc etc. . . If you know what to expect it can be lovely, and I don't mean that In a faux edgy pseudo-psychopathic way; I'm genuinely amused by them

>>10252534
great post

>>10252433

Underrated post

>>10252566
I can't stand how women are entirely run by their emotions and biology. For me, dating has always been a one-sided protective feeling, sort of like dating a child whom you have to take care of because they are inept. I guess some guys like that, but I always dreamt of a girlfriend whom I could have great conversations with and depend on. Sex isn't worth dealing with a woman's regular emotional breakdowns, inconstancy, lack of passion for arts or science, etc. I've learned that those things are obtained from guy friends.

>>10252534
I whole-heartedly agree
Why has cuck shit exploded in popularity? I swear even just a few years ago it wasn't that big, now it's everywhere. Findom is absurd.
At least I find forced bi kind of hot

>>10252491
I dunno about bookstores, but I work at a Starbucks and have seen plenty of psuedo intellectuals hookup there. Hell, I've gotten at least one date out of the job.

>>10252635
Depends on the culture. US/Canadian women tend not to care about science or the arts, but Italian/Polish/German/French girls are a different story.

>>10252534
Wow

>>10252921
>tfw dumb monolingual American
jdimsa

>>10252534
Quality post.

>>10252534
>>10252911
Yeah the cuck and chastity stuff seems to be exploding lately. I wonder what the reason is. I feel like there might be some correlation with recent political changes but I'm not sure.

>>10252934
They visit the states the same way we go backpacking in Europe. Hang around the more multicultural hubs - DC, NYC, etc. You'll meet them. Alternately, download a language app and go traveling.

Beat the ever loving shit out of her.

Nothing. I have books to buy, can't be bothered.

>>10252534
What a post!

>>10252534
I really, really, really, like this post!

Accuse her of sexually harassing me and coming onto me despite numerous rejections and then making a rape accusation.

>>10252387
>>10252247
I thought it was a meme that you people were socially inept, like autistic awkward. Nice fucking life.

Stare at the individual in manner as portrayed here.

Ask her if it's okay to take a dump right in front of her.

>>10252983
Eh, I dunno. It comes down to chemistry. I never felt comfortable around this girl, despite having everything in common with her; but around other girls it just clicked. Not to say I'm a social butterfly - I'm not. But, in general, I don't think anyone has an easy time breaking the ice with strangers.

Sure, I've known people who excel at making small talk, or people who are great at picking up girls. But when it comes to sober, face-to-face, getting-to-know-you conversation with a virtual stranger - that's not easy for anyone.

>>10253007
Normies find it incomprehensible that someone might have difficulty with social interaction, so there's probably no point explaining yourself.

>>10252534
Now I feel even worse about my cuck fetish

>>10252983
Well aren't you pleasant.

>>10253016
I've yet to meet anyone who fits 4chan's normie criteria who considers themselves normal.

I'd strike up a conversation with her and eventually when I get bored I'd start to go "Huh?" and close my hand at her repeatedly signaling her to stop talking, then try to steal some milky way bars and make the cashier scan them one by one if caught

>>10252247
Call her a Jezebel and a succubus.

>>10253039
kek

>>10253023
I doubt that seeing how broad the definition is. If you know anybody who considers themselves normal they are almost definitely a normie

Shove her really hard with my hip into the erotica section and spank her silly with a Justine hardback. Girls love it when a guy is assertive.

>>10252247
Ah! Excuse me, m'lady, it seems that we have figuratively and quite literally crossed paths! I would be dishonest if I said I didn't find the whole concept delightful, as I find you refreshing on my eyes like a cool drink of milk from mothers teat! You'll meet her in good time, of course, I daresay you would get along quite well! What's that you're reading? Ah, Lewis Carroll's Alice adventures in wonderland, eh? Some people think I remind then of the Cheshire cat! I suppose it's because I'm so puzzling, and not afraid to admit it! I guess I'm a bit of an enigma, as I don't fit into any sort of social categories. Much like yourself! You are both cute and girly but also, dare I say, quite the temptress! I bet you get asked out all the time, but I wonder if you would forgo the usual rendezvous with the various Chads of our day and instead join me for our own adventure. I promise it would be far from ordinary. Perhaps even EXTRAordinary. We could go down the rabbit hole together! Huh... I mean... Not like that... Unless you want to. If you did want to, I would be a most selfless and sensitive lover, just so you know. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, eh? How about we go out for a brew?

>>10253093
I like it but needs something to do with a katana or teleporting behind somebody

>>10252247
>see this whore
>unzips dick
>bump into her until cum
>shower her with my seed
>needmoredaddy.jpg
>prep the bull
>throatfuck her until her head comes off
>impale her head onto a pike, carry it with me at all times
>flay her corpse and wear her flesh as a garment

>>10252549
Me too lad

>>10253019
I bet that turns you on huh little sissy

>>10252534
animals are cute tho

>>10252247
>stockings
>cutesy dress
>Alice In Wonderland
Ah, the famous pedo-chaser.

Ask her where I can find some Eastern European surrealism or experimentalism literature.

Try to convince her the earth is flat

>>10252247

Ask her what book she's reading and act condescending whatever her answer is

>trip over this at a bookstore
What do?

>>10253160
You're gay if you're not into that

I felt her dick.

>2017
>reading on paper
>buying books

>>10253019
is /lit/ full of cuck? is cuckoldry part of the literary lifestyle?

>>10252247
ask why she is reading a children's book

>>10253193
>listening to music while reading

>>10252247
tell her that my little brother just discovered rock 'n' roll

>>10253103
Fuck you're right, I also forgot to mention my good boy points.

>>10252247
ask if she knows if that german shepherd statue on the book shelf is for sale and pretend not to notice that her dress is really short but ask instead if she isn't cold and spill my spaghetti everywhere before i get the chance to touch her hand and feel her thigh and squeeze her boob through the fabric and grab her panty clad butt cheek and say i'm sorry i just wanted to fuck and her hair smells nice and her skin is smooth and soft and silky

>>10253193
Avoid like the plague

>>10253213
>she wants to fuck

>>10253201
>implying

>>10253193
Whack her in the face with my copy of Acts of Literature and tell her she's just been deconstructed

>>10252946
Probably all the young men who have been watching porn every day since they became sexually aware. Combined with their lack of success with women, due to rise in dating apps+slut culture where women can pick and choose the top men and ignore all the others.
This creates a hyperawareness of ones own sexual inferiority, so much so that they come to fetishize being the observer.

>>10253193
Kick her in the neck

>>10252247
who is this sputnik sweetheart

>>10253193
>mold like hair color
dead Feminazi/SJW/Leftard giveaway

>>10253275
Its more of an aqua green or teal
And frankly, she's qt
>>10253262
>>10253245
>>10253235
Why
>>10253212
What's wrong with that?

>>10253286
who's she anyway?

/lit/ is 80% talking about how to talk to women, %10 stupid memes %10 literature

>>10253286
>green hair
>kid show tshirt
>choker
>checkered shirt

Why do every legeekgirlxd dresses like this

>>10253294
Welcome to 4chins

>>10253294
I'd say 30% girltalk, 50% jew conspiracy, 10% stupid memes, 9% philosophy, 1% literature.

>>10252247
u-u-u too

>>10252247
Tell her that she get her adenoid facies treated. Before her face ends up like Trumps.

I shall sarcastically say "Excuse me madam my apologies!" in a posh British accent before looking in her starry little eyes and revealing a wry smile. She will start quivering as she begins to sense the depth of my literary ability. I'll slowly walk past her and gently slide my hand up her back until it finds its way on to her shoulder. "Ah, I see. You too are a fan of the fifty shades series." Her pale cheeks will turn red. "Do not be embarrassed madam for I do not detest the desires of the flesh. Attempting to resist the hedonistic tendencies of the human soul would only lead to the ruination of mankind" I'll let out in a whisper. She will shudder in awe of my intelligence. I'll lick my lips and deliver the finishing blow. "What say you peruse my domicile with me? Maybe you would enjoy reading a few chapters of Lolita outloud while I give in to my base desires?"

At last she will part her soft supple lips and grace my ears with the auditory delight of an angel. "Ew get the fuck away from me creep!"

>>10252534
if i didn't think you were a revolting waste of oxygen, i might have been tempted to feel sorry for you

>>10252247
>her

>>10252247
Say "my bad" and keep browsing

How is this not the only answer

These threads are stupid

>>10253431
(You) must be etc.

>>10252247

rape the book

>>10253201
>looks down on antiquated formats
>still uses gif

>>10252247
Who dresses like that?

>>10253289
A cute
>>10253296
Its cute

Ask her why the store owner has some weird book spine destroying urge. A real book girl would have insisted on straightening the stacks before appearing in the shot. Flat, fake, and possibly gay.

I'm on a quest for truth, get out of my way.

>>10253673
I'm going to start saying this

>>10252247
> glance at book
> wrinkle nose, glare at her
> "you pedophiles make me fucking sick."

>>10253389
kek

>>10252566

That's alright until dumb things get overblown, or a huge decision is made based on an impulse.

Had an ex turn down a chance to study abroad for the sake of our relationship, broke up a month later, still didn't go.

Had another who didn't say shit about having problems with our relationship for 8 months. Then she just said "I can't take this anymore" a day after a wonderful date and that was that. From what I've seen it was perfect all the way through.

Then there was this one with anxiety and depression, who also ended what seemed like another perfect relationship because "she's terrible and hurts everyone and wants to protect me from that."

At this point I just don't give a shit and go for one night stands. I date a girl rn just so I don't have to visit museums and exhibitions alone. At some point she's going to ask what's up and I'll have to find another one. Still beats genuinely caring for months only to have it all ruined in an instant though.

>>10253296
Same reason you wear the same sweat stained t-shirt and track pants every day. It's an aesthetic.

>>10252247
Lexi?

>>10252247
One to the chest and two to the head.

>>10252247

> white nail paint
> dress looks stupid af
> retarded facial expression
> fish eyes
> only redeeming factor is legs

yeah how about no

>>10252635

Maybe you just have shit taste? Tbh my experiences with women are the opposite of yours

>>10252911
>>Why has cuck shit exploded in popularity?
But Anon, cuckoldry has always been the soul of great literature.

please help me I can not stop masturbating

>>10252534
>i hate this planet. i want this planet to burn. i want to watch the sun swell up and set the atmosphere on fire. i hate being alive and i hate femdom and i want everyone on this worthless piece of shit planet to pay for their failures in one final atonement

>>10252534
if you're so upset at the world and still like femdom you might as well waste all your money and try findom, trust me, it really gives you kicks like nothing else

>>10252911
>>10255021
This. Cuckoldry is the most visceral attack on a man ever. Its no wonder in modern times when men are not allowed to be men that a reminder of that is both exhilarating and humiliating.

>>10255021
>>10255121
delete this right now

>>10252247
she looks shocked, she must have caught me smelling the books

>>10252247
Where's the bathroom! Get the fuck outta my way!

>>10252534
I'm a newer guy but I never understood findom and cuckoldry. Chastity, if it isn't pushed too far (like not making it permanent, throwing the key away or stuff like that, but wearing it during a whole day and releasing in the evening), can be fine, but someone has to explain me what's up with findom and cuckoldry

>>10253203
As the guy you were replying to, it's just a sign of being mentally deranged.

>>10253286
Because I hella hate women

>>10252247
>last week
>bookstore
>searching for a book in the literary critic section
>it’s under T
>in front of the shelf there’s a qt
>T is in the lowest shelf
>think “I’ll just crouch and get the book” instead of asking her if she can move a little
>crouch
>get the book
>look up
>I have my face 1cm from her ass
>she looks down on me
>while reading a book by Bloom with his big fat face on the cover
>*giggles*
>the last thing I saw was Bloom immense face with a qt’s eyes above it laughing at me
>died inside

>>10255383
How short was the skirt?

You really should have said something, maybe a literary reference or something about Bloom, to break the tension
You'd then have had a conversation with her

>>10253286
What kind of strange breed of hapa is this? Or is she Finnish?

>>10255346
why? do you like porn? it's like porn but in real life

>>10252389
Fawkin' home run, Chippah.

>>10252247
Get out of my way bitch you're blocking these shelves

>>10255478
Canadian, so who knows

Post my experience on /lit/

>>10255421
>Hey there I'm experiencing some anxiety of ass-fluence. I'm sure bloom himself would have said this ass is canonical. "How to read and why?" well it's cause of that ass that's why. I can't write, I can't think with this booty.
There u go m boy gon get it

>>10253193
that hair is a warning sign

quickly leave before she starts talking about jeremy corbyn

>>10256025
Hilarious AND original

>>10252534
Heartfelt words, thanks for your contribution

>>10252921
I've never met a white American girl who reads seriously after high school. All of the men and women that I've met that give a shit about serious reading after school were Hispanic, go figure.

But I live in LA so I see a LOT of Latinas but almost no Europeans. Anyone else willing to confirm that Euro girls read more than Americans?

>>10252258
This, but I pronounce the T.

>>10254612
>he thinks multiple relationships were "perfect" when he was broken up with
Maybe there's something you were missing... Just maybe...

>>10252534
This is the reason I browse this website.

>>10255121
>>10252911
>>10255332
Not that anon, but I was once engaged and she left me after having problems. It was really bad, we were basically living together for a few years now so it hit me like a fucking truck.

I have an irrational disdain for cucks because i've never understood why people would like this, and since I don't know anything about her anymore, I will never know if deep down she left me because she found someone else. Why would you enjoy not being with the person you love? Even if you're into threesomes and shit, at least you'd like your partner to love you, right?

What the fuck. Why did I even post this?

>>10258441
>What the fuck. Why did I even post this?
I like uninhibited thought that's the good thing about 4chan, that and the brutal honesty to keep you in check

>>10252263
/thread

>>10252435
this

>>10253275
reading hp spergcraft? doubt it.

>>10252387

>getting someone's number
>I'm so awkward

No you are Chad

>>10252247
>>>/b/

>>10252534
This is what should be in those /lit/ humor threads, not some autist writing a (probably fake) novel by overusing the word "nigger".

>>10255024
Work out

>>10259353
desu i find it more relatable than funny

>>10252247
>adjust my erect penis through my trousers without losing eye contact
>tell her politely that she makes me a little uncomfortable
>if she doesn't leave in a frenzy, ask her for advice about a present for my eldest daughter
>if she's nice, maybe invite her to come over to my place for dinner to meet my wife
>maybe pay a visit to my dealer on the way and/or get some wine

last night there was a girl next to me in the philosophy section at barnes and noble, I got so upset how she was making me feel because I feel inferior and like a beta that I just left the store