/lit/ - Literature

how are your grades?

>>10187683
I answered this question last night and I am loathe to do so again, but in short I refuse to share my "grades" (i.e. academic success) at this point and will only do so after the period when formal examinations are held. But my grasp of each subject discussed in each module thus far couldn't be any more powerful.

At this point it sounds more like you're writing fiction about your hopes and dreams than that you're actually living some sort of aristocratic Oxford life. Humility is a virtue.

>>10187687
I'm going to keep asking you that question, the only one that matters, every time you post one of these threads

Neat. FYI, the dormitory rooms that do have "leaded" fashion windows only have it on the outside, from the inside there's another layer with double glazing because otherwise you'd freeze.
Please do a crossover episode with your london frogposter character at some point.

>>10187687
that bad huh

>>10187690
Humilitas Occidit Superbiam indeed my good man, and it is partly a consequence of humility that I write these threads for the dozens of other forum users who have encouraged me to do so, if only to be allowed to experience vicariously the varied pleasures in which I am indulging, pleasures which, alas, may not be readily experienced outside of Oxford.

>>10187693
Treating university merely as a place where high grades may be consistently achieved, without regard for the university's history, traditions and potential for profound experiences is something only a peasant would do laboring as he is under the threat of having to return to the peasantry should his test scores be too low.

>>10187699
The "london frogposter" has nothing at all to do with me.

>>10187702
Perhaps, but even so, even a mediocre or indeed "bad" grade earned here at the University of Oxford would far exceed a "good" grade earned at an inferior institution.

>>10187706
Senpai, you're talking to someone who failed multiple college courses. I still got my degree in 4 years. If your grades are bad enough that you have to deflect like this then I feel bad for you.
>muh unique experience
If you have to fail your courses to have a unique experience then you're wasting the experience and the conditions of having it

>>10187671
>eyes closed looking up at the ceiling
>eyes closed
>looking up

>>10187713
You can look at the interior of your eyelids and still be looking up dumbass. When the sun shines you can even see the sun through your eyelids to a degree, dumbass.

The idea that you'd think any of us would be jealous of your fictitious lifestyle is hilarious. You seem to think academic success is the same as intellectual success. Your ability to recite information and retain comprehension of "high end" texts is near invalidated by your inability to write. I'd hope this was a work of fiction because simply put if this is a work of cnf you're completely hopeless. And no, I'm not triggered by you're "amazing" lifestyle that I "wish I could have". I'm triggered by all the simplistic fucks that think college means anything.

>>10187721
>I'm triggered by all the simplistic fucks that think college means anything.

Wow, if you hadn't included this sentence I'd have been tempted to defend myself. As it is, I will simply join the other lurkers here who are currently pointing at their laptop screens or monitors and absolutely howling with laughter as they point and clutch their chest with their free hand so that their heart doesn't absolutely explode through sheer sadistic joy.

>>10187721
I bet you're an accomplished autodidact, not just some dillettante with a library card

>>10187709

>>10187683
grades mean nothing in the face of money

>>10187671
Private school virgin vs state school Chad

>>10187721
It's not really about his academic success or lack of it, it's about the storybook cosy lifestyle he's portraying.

bump

>tfw the top Australian uni I attend doesn't even crack top 30 anymore

Fuck you Ivy League and Oxford/Cambridge/St. Andrews etc.

>>10187818

preening yuppie b t f o

Stop impersonating Pessoa-chan.
Sage.

>>10187832
what the hell is "Pessoa-chan"?

I've seen it mentioned like three times this week on here already

>>10187837
Legendary shitposter who made up multiple elaborate personas to troll /lit/ with.
Feels like half the copy pastas on /lit/ were written by him.
>>9400985

>>10187845
dead link amigo

>>10187849
>not using 4chanx

>lectures and meetings over for the day here at the University of Oxford
>walked back to my dormitory on a surprisingly warm day for late October, bumped into a few of my new friends (all of whose fathers earn at least £87,000 a year in major London-based companies) and chatted for a bit
>currently listening to Morrissey's new songs that my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic, well-mannered, highly educated girlfriend emailed me
>tfw she says that I remind her of Morrissey due to my having ascended a grim working class plebeian life via love of literature
>going to spoil her rotten tonight with a pasta-based meal and some du vin
>tfw a guy on my corridor from Kent invited me to shoot some avian wildlife with him this weekend for the purpose of experience intense pleasure and fulfillment and I said I'd think about it
>nice cup of tea (or "cuppa" as I say it in order to reinforce my working class identify around others) on my desk and I can literally sea the steam rising from it as I type this
>my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic, well-rounded, genetically distinct girlfriend apparently knows a girl who lives on my quad since they attended the same Elite private school (~£36,000 fees per year) together so we may organize a faux-bohemian dinner party together soon in my dormitory where they pretend to be "poor students" and drink cheap wine and I play up my working class libidinal impulses and disregard for repressive customs

Another perfect morning down, another perfect evening to come here at the University of Oxford. Oh if only all of my life had been so richly furnished!

>>10188201
>some du vin
I envy your erudition.

>>10187671
You sound like a mediocrity.

*inhales

>>10188211
>Cambridge

Ah, the old rival. I look forward to trouncing them in every field for years to come!

>>10188201
>all of whose fathers earn at least £87,000 a year in major London-based companies
Is this considered wealthy?

>>10187671
I love these threads, OP.

One day I'm sure they'll run their course, but right now they're superb.

>>10188213
Maybe to OP.

>>10188213
I said at least kiddo. I imagine one or two of them are advanced in age and thus semi-retired, and that some are taking it easy (or easier) now that their children have completed their years in elite, high-fee private schools designed to educate the next generation of Great Minds.

>>10187818
>thinking St. Andrews is a good uni

>>10188220
>>10188215
My mom earns about that and she didn't get a degree until she was 40

>>10188215
Of course it is wealthy to me, having been raised in a post-industrial town where jobs were scarce and morals lacking. The most fortunate thing to have happened in my life, by far, is to escape from the peasantry who rot away in the countless obscure towns and cities of this dismal, unaesthetic country and join the ranks of the Elite here at the University of Oxford. My mission from now on is to do whatever it takes to remain in the upper class and to make sure my children do so also. And if that means paying tens of thousands of pounds a year, twice the national average wage if need-be, to make sure my child is educated at the finest institutions where he or she will not have to come in contact with the foul and mediocre masses then by jove that's exactly what I'll do. Literature is all well and good, but everybody reaches the age of thirty some day and although it may be "in vogue" to drift aimlessly through your early 20s attempting to "make it" in some artistic discipline I blinking well won't be drawn into such a fetid lifestyle should it risk my long-tern financial security. I have my eye on the prize, and that prize, dear readers, is Wealth.

>>10188236
Whether or not your mother moonlights for some extra dosh is entirely irrelevant to the main thrust of this thread. The very fact that your "mother" (biological, I hesitate to presume) earned her degree at the age of 40, no-doubt from some institution whose most famous alumni is some obscure Channel 5 presenter, confirms to me at least that her life is entirely lacking in fulfillment, fail as she did to experience the joys of an education here at the University of Oxford.

>>10188237
You're drifting into Pizza-Pessoa-Memoir derivative prolix again, friend. Where's that new angle we talked about?

>>10188244
My mother is a healthcare manager, I just found it confusing that that is considered upper class in England.

>>10188250
>in England

Are you not from the UK?

>>10188255
No. I have no idea what my mother would be considered.

She didn't start making money until I was already an adult though, so I didn't grow up in a wealthy house (she was a home-care nurse and my father is a roughneck)

I love the identity crisis of the working class boy at Oxford, trying desperately to fit in with the rahs and southerners. People make all the right noises to them, fawning over how authentic and tough life must have been growing up poor. Taking that working class culture and fetishising it, donning Adidas for their big night out at Bridge. Trying to hide that they were raised in a healthy home, free from trivial concerns about money.

But the lower class northerners are still a peculiarity. Behind the thin facade of acceptance and equality, they remain zoo exhibitions to be ogled and pointed at. Their peculiar accents mocked. Their inability to ski frowned upon.

"Oh, you grew up poor? That must have been so hard for you, I can't begin to imagine. Still, Oxford now. You've come further than I ever could."

You know they don't mean it, all the pleasantries. Deep down the disdain remains for your uncultured class. It may seem non-existent or inconsequential, but there are reminders. Whenever a mocking accent is put on to ridicule the racist Brexit voter. When you remember that you can't join your friends at Turf because it's too pricey and you have to stretch out your student loan. When some ill-dressed Wadham students are being vocal at an SU event, rallying for racial equality and diversity when white working class boys are still the most underrepresented group.

Keep aspiring to be around that aristocracy you desperately desire, escaping the culture of poverty from which you were thrust into the world. But remember that you will never be in it. You will never belong.

>>10188258
I'm afraid to say that your mother wouldn't be "considered" at all here judging by her educational background. I imagine she would sit in quite well at some second-rate NHS trust in Rochester, though even that would be above her station considering that she was not educated at the University of Oxford.

>>10188260
Your analysis of the class structure here at the University of Oxford is very perceptive indeed, and your calm, carefully articulated hostility towards me is evidence of an acutely intelligent mind almost akin to my own. However, while I may currently be the subject of the upper class gaze, my own disdain for the peasant hoardes of this country, in addition to my ability to not only fawn over but reflect entirely the gait, mannerisms and indeed the expressed ideology of those I am now acquainted with means that I am essentially a Fifth Column with no remaining ties to the "side" I am allegedly fighting for. When I do come out with words such as "cuppa" and "ta" whenever I do so I make sure to conduct myself as the ideal masculine at the same time, physically intimidating the well-mannered, repressed, refined male members of the group, whose female partners (for the evening) look first to me and then at my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic privately-educated (~£36,000 a year) girlfriend with a mixture of detached, intelligent curiosity and the kind of impulsive awe native to their sex. While some young men here have allowed themselves to be essentially gelded by the strict formalities inherent among the upper class, I have managed to remain fully endowed while also meeting every single criteria necessary to be considered Elite.

>tfw Norwegian cabin / pizza box transcript / 6 volume memoir guy has created a new elaborate ruse after laying low for a while.

>>10188201
>we may organize a faux-bohemian dinner party together soon in my dormitory where they pretend to be "poor students" and drink cheap wine
Is this a joke?

>hes not studying in the oldest uni in the world

Stopped reading

>>10188300
nah that actually happens but with more pretence that it's simply engaging in the 'student culture'

You know, I really envy OP. I can very easily imagine the grand banquets, the formal dances, the ancient traditions and all the other experiences one may enjoy while attending the University of Oxford. While lesser universities and colleges are concerned only with maximizing profit and their appearance in the eyes of investors and potential future students and their parents, the University of Oxford contains so many experiences and traditions which don't exist merely to squeeze out more money and to churn out another relatively well-educated young person, but rather to emphasize the importance of high-quality aesthetic experiences in life and also to honour generations of former students long-deceased for whom these traditions and little in-jokes formed the cornerstone of an amazing and indeed incomparably enjoyable youth. The ancient buildings, carefully manicured lawns and wind-swept cobble streets are of course fine attractions, and far more appealing than some low-budget "block" of modern "state-of-the-art" student accommodation full of noise, rubbish and mediocre intellects. Truly, the University of Oxford can be said the represent the pinnacle of human academic achievement, a small, secure place where those delicate, sensitive, perceptive and intelligent enough may experience several years of unparalleled joy.

>>10188307
What is 'student culture'?
Being frugal with money?
Is this some sort of lite-larping?

I hate Anglos.

>>10188299
No way this is him.
His bait was way less obvious and only got more and more ridiculous after a couple of threads.
Also his writing was better.

>>10188320
Imagine you reach the age of eighteen without ever having to worry about money at all, not even once. Your parents paid more than twice the average wage in your country each year to make sure your friends and potential boyfriends / girlfriends were of the same social class as yourself, usually students in the same or a nearby private school in some quaint rural town or village. You then reach university, and are shocked and ashamed to discover that *whisper it* poor people actually exist. Heavens! Some carry on as usual, confident as they are in repeating to themselves the mantra of their former teachers, parents and peers that they are members of a select minority whose genetics and heritage justify their distinct place atop the socio-economic foodchain. Others, however, feel so ashamed that in order to have a more "genuine" experience of student life pretend that they too are struggling to get by, and thus several items of clothing from Primark ironically, drink cheap wine and beer, decorate their rooms sparsely so that the minimalist decor may suggest a sort of bohemian, anti-materialist ideology which is, however, not actually present (something their actually poor friends and acquaintances occasionally discover to their shock when Pippa and Ben(edict) end up landing high-paying jobs in finance only a few weeks after graduation!

>>10188335
It feels like someone imitating his style. Not too badly, but nobody's taking it seriously.

This is the 21th century, you don't "settle down and have a family" with your crush from school

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkA8openjIk

6:25 is your life.

>>10188246
>>10187832
newfag here. who are you guys talking about? is there's an ED article or something on this guy?

>>10188368
>>/lit/thread/S9400985

>>10188320
In the UK working class culture is seen as this paragon of authenticity and reality. There's a lot of embarrassment and middle class guilt over being able to afford a good education and essentially getting a 'leg up' over other students, in addition to parts of working class culture being in vogue due to the struggle (a la hip-hop and the black experience in the US).

Student culture is quite complicated. There are essentially two parts - the general student experience and the particular university or college experience.

The general student experience is straightforward - going out to a club on a night out and getting smashed, the uselessness of Student Unions, complaining about tuition fees, deadlines, thinking medical students are dickheads and compsci/physics students are autistic. All, or at the least most, students share that experience.

Then your uni culture depends on where your uni is situated, the quality of students it attracts, the nightlife, etc. For example, Manchester students are notorious for clubbing all the time and being off their tits 24/7 as drugs are very prevalent there and it's a busy city with lots of nightlife. Loughborough is a sports uni so it has a lot of obnoxious bellends. You can distinguish the different cultures of unis by looking at their meme pages on facebook if you so wish.

Oxford's involves a lot of pretending to not be as wealthy/well-off as you are. This means lots of smoking, dressing working-class, and being not necessarily frugal but intentionally cheap to show that you aren't as middle-class as you actually are. This is justified by the 'poor student' persona, a part of the general experience for most, that many richer students hide behind so as not to seem like they are trying too hard to appear lower-class whilst still maintaining that low standard of living that gives them commonality with the lower-class students despite daddy sending them £150 a week.

>>10188376
>middle class

Why beat around the bush? Many of these people are upper class. To compare the son of a barrister who attended Winchester College to the son of a "middle class" district library manager in Aberdeen is to make class distinctions redundant. The former is upper class.

>tfw also a student at the University of Oxford
>tfw I am literally "that guy" on Campus

Feels so good.

>>10188400
Very true. The aristocracy is so minuscule in this country these days that the traditional class distinction is next to worthless

>>10188406
>Claims to be a BNOC but isn't Hamish
lmao

Am I the only one who thinks that upper and middle class people have nothing to be sheepish about or apologise or anything like that?

I couldn't give a fuck. Maybe it's because I'm an ugly autist who is an outcast everywhere. I've worked with working class people in crappy part time jobs, worked with middle and maybe upper class people, went to a comprehensive and I was an autist everywhere and an outcast at all workplaces.

This stuff about youths of drinking in the park you see from people of all social classes is alien. Where are my sheltered Vidya loving ugly autist friends? Nowhere in the UK, because it's a homogenous normie filled country.

Well fuck you

t. BA UCL MA SOAS and soon to join the Oriental Institute at Oxford

>>10188430
The estate-owning, title-bearing aristocracy may be small and relatively subdued these days (although they still own tons of land, which forces the plebs to settle for tiny houses in congested urban zones) however the upper class is as influential as it was a century or more ago. Many people in this country, born to upper class parents, educated in top predatory schools alongside upper class kids, then schooled (often boarding) at some isolated private school with upper class kids, then attending one of several top universities where they gravitate towards their own, and then onto London for a career working often alongside other upper class kids in industries where people like them are disproportionately in charge, you could transplant them back to the Edwardian era and they would take some time to realize. And it isn't really about family pride and genetic protectionism (which would be somewhat defensible) considering that so many gooks, arabs and jews now study at the same schools who are only happy enough to raise fees to make sure they land as much profit as possible. Several of the top private schools for example have had to introduce quotas to make sure no more than 15% of the student body are jewish, because so many of them have parents only willing enough to send their children to mix and potentially breed with rich white Brits.

>>10188450
>SOAS

Literally who?

>>10188448
>Where are my sheltered Vidya loving ugly autist friends? Nowhere in the UK, because it's a homogenous normie filled country.
No they're just indoors, same as you.

>>10188506
SOAS = individuals who are aware

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laudian_Professor_of_Arabic

>>10188540
Yikes, if I were do disgrace myself by attending a school like that I'd petition to have it renamed SOS! The University of Oxford it is not.

>>10188211
What's wrong with this exactly?

>>10187671
K. Keep me posted.

>tfw no Oxbridge-educated bf

It hurts. I don't want to settle for anything less :(

>>10187671
are these threads part of some sort of vast aristocratic ploy to turn public opinion against letting working class people attend university?

>>10188211
my main beef with this is the headline implies the opposite of what it's trying to say.

>>10188400
this.

the 'middle class kids' are usually not very well off or privileged, and shouldnt be conflated with the boarding school kids who go skiing 3 times a year.

imagine being proud of being at oxford

Doesn't it take a lot of time going from Oxford to London?

This book is really comfy. It's about Harvard and secrety psychedelic societies. Highly recommend. Reminds me of OP.

>>10187709
>>10187709
>>10187729
Not OP but hes actually correct - you can get a good job in finance with a 'failed' Oxbridge degree in Classics. Mathematics/Economics or something, even at one of the 'good' universities won't get you an interview at the shittest bank for an internship. Thats how important Oxbridge is here.

>>10190145
Gross exaggeration

>>10187671
>(~£36,000 a year)
What the fuck, I thought Oxford was meant to be a good school? DeVry costs more.

Write it down in a diary so you can write a best selling tragedy.

>>10190163
Not even slightly, in fact the upper end city jobs, the hedge fund types; think the likes of Prince Harry who failed his A-levels - a lot of them are straight from Eton to the City.

>>10190164
He's talking about Eton (essentially 'High School' for the British elite). Oxford and Cambridge tuition is £9,000/year, same as all UK Unis

>>10190176
I agree with you on that.

It's pretty much the same in every country.

>be born
>Grandfather was an earl, family has links to royals going back 1000 years
>Father works in the city
>Go to Eton
>Go to Oxford
>Get meme degree shit like anthropology
>Get a comfy job in the city like a financial consultant
>Become an MP for a conservative region
>Become minister in government

>>10190180
Lmao, that's basically the cost of community college in America.

Theres a pretty convincing theory that the entrenched privelege of the class sytem has stopped humanity from splitting into Eloi and Morlocks - imagine if you'd had 1000 years of true meritocracy with selective breeding for intelliegence. The fact Prince Harrys dopey inbred chums run the City of London is in a paradoxical way quite 'egalitarian'.

>tfw born in a low middle class brown family in the thirld world
>tfw top 10% global IQ mensa garbage
>tfw have to climb the social ladder and move from this shithole
>people will hate me for my skin color and because I'm poor

>>10190211
The morlocks are the superior race. They have a powerful subterranean civilization and they are farming the eloi as livestock. Meanwhile the eloi are fruiting about with flowers and stuff.
I suppose the crabs are the real winners in the end.

>>10188340
>Pippa and Ben(edict)
Kek. I know multiple people at Oxbridge and this is a very accurate portrayal

>>10187671
>genetically profound children
damn well memed, lad

>>10190211
The Eloi are retarded though.

>>10187671
>LARPing as an Oxford student
>constantly and only references Harry Potter as the only thing British you're aware of
I smell community college burger.

>>10187671
Congrats, you dropped 150 grand on a fucking education you could have got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.

>tfw early start to the day here at my commuter 4 year public university
>tfw womens studies lecture at 8:00 a.m., so sitting alone in the smokers area reading buzzfeed in preparation
>tfw not going to Indianapolis as planned, but taking my lower middle class, ex-military($40,000 a year) soon-to-be girlfriend to dinner
>checked email this morning and discovered several unread parking ticket notices, seminars on 'being black in america', and rumba classes in the basketball court
>tfw texting 6.5/10 white girl with 'good music taste, bro" about potential date plans
>tfw she doesnt reply for hours, then responds at 11 p.m. with "i'll let you know"
>tfw mention to her, rather humorously (if i may say so myself) that an indie pop band is coming to town, and she replies with "idk who that is lol"
>read that then start hacking up a cigarette loogie, in awe of my life at 4 year public university
>think about the other guys i see her with, and what i should get from taco bell

>>10190652
this made me uncomfortably comfortable with my mediocre middle class self

>>10187671
You are one of the most bombastic writers I've seen on /lit/. Worse than a high school art rag.

>tfw a somewhat misty and thus misty-rious morning, here at the ancient and illustrious University of Oxford
>tfw my hopefully soon-to-be upper class, privately educated (~£36,000 fees per year) girlfriend visited my college yesterday the after-noon
>she chatted with the girl I mentioned who had attended the same Elite, isolated, pleb-repellent private school
>tfw the Jewish guy, who will go on to earn at least £75,000 each year by the age of 26, and who lives at the far end of my corridor appeared with a "mate" who were both laughing and chiding one another in a most ironically barbaric ("savage") fashion
>tfw as soon as he saw my hopefully soon-to-be high quality, high value girlfriend he stopped and she ceased talking mid-sentence
>she turned and said "let's go" and hurriedly disappeared into my dormitory
>tfw the young Jew stomped by glaring at me with the ferocity of one of Oxford's famous colonialists, as though I were some Zimbabwean coolie who had stolen butter from his tent
>inside my room my hopefully soon-to-be vintage girlfriend stood with her back to me and her face in her pale delicate hands
>"what's the matter!" I begged, exasperated, and explained that I wasn't jealous if he was a former lover
>"oh it isn't that" she blurted, turning and sitting most furiously on the lip of my sturdy, high quality, non-IKEA (or similar prole store) bed
>tfw it turns out this fellow tried to pressure her into having sexual intercourse after an inter-school (Elite private school for the genetically gifted) field trip to Florence in their late teens and embarrassed her when she said she was waiting until marriage
>tfw I immediately shot my feet and adopted the aggressive stance of a working class brute while offering to injure him to restore her honour
>tfw she threw her arms around me and begged me not to despite my utter capacity to do so
>I held her close as she breathed like a frightened rabbit, her petite, well-proportioned, sleek, athletically trained (Lacrosse, swimming, netball etc - all available on the school grounds) body shivered due to her nerves being frayed by the confrontation with her assailant
>tfw I cancelled the reservation at the restaurant, dismissing the poorly-paid, forever working class waiter's frustrated complaints and reminding him I was a student here at the UofO
>tfw we spent the evening in my quiet, quaint dormitory wrapped up in a duvet listening to Philip Glass, she recounting tales most wondrous of her Hogwarts-esque school days in the country and me scaring her with the utter misery and pathos of peasant (working class) life

Truly the University of Oxford is a place where one may not escape the most extreme experiences known to man. Tedium simply does not find a home here within the bounds of this most desirable city. What is your favorite Oxford-based work of fiction?

University of Melbourne here. What's it like to hear people speaking English on campus?

>>10191736
You shot your feet?
>I cancelled the reservation at the restaurant, dismissing the poorly-paid, forever working class waiter's frustrated complaints
H - have you never booked and cancelled a table at a restaurant before? Doesn't matter if you're eating at The Four Candles on George Street or Le Manoir in Great Milton, no waiter is going to complain about you cancelling a reservation.
The beds in the dorm rooms are quite narrow btw, it's not comfortable for two.

>>10191759
I assume this waiter thought I was some "local" who had saved up his pennies after months of toil in some depressing industrial estate on the city's periphery in order to treat his bog-eyed second-wife or "partner" to a "fancy" meal, only to become flustered at the final moment and cancel, much to the ire of the over-worked waiter who answered my call. It only needed an assertive statement on my part, informing him of my being a student here at the University of Oxford, for him to promptly shut his mouth.

Wtf are the idiots itt talking about? The City of London is being ruled by jews who are importing inbred arabs into your land by the millions and covering up the mass rape of your women ... and you're larping as faux aristocrats?

>>10191769
Like I said, waiters don't give a fuck about your reservations. Cancelling it is just crossing out your name in the book in front of them, why would they care?

>>10191776
You seem not to understand how in-demand this restaurant was, and how frustrated this waiter was by his station in life and the workload imposed upon him. Nor was he best pleased, apparently, by the fact I had forgotten the alias under which I had booked the table. Only until he had agreed to read out a handful of names did I hear the name I had used (Bartholomew Fitzpatrick-Morris) and ordered him to remove that reservation immediately.

>100+ replies
Tip top kek

>>10191784
Aren't you supposed to be in a lecture right now? What fancy restaurant is it exactly that's open and overworked from 9am?

>OP still is either LARPing as an Oxford student or thinks we care about his being an Oxford student
genuinely laughing my fanny off to be honest

>>10191795
>implying reading his autism isn't comfy as fuck
it's refreshing compared against the usual tripe posted here

>>10191789
The restaurant was booked for yesterday evening, do try and keep up however difficult it may for your non-Elite educated brain to do so. Next lecture in 30 minutes, I'm currently in an ancient library, silent as night, surrounded by individuals so handsome, intelligent and neatly dressed that they resemble extras in one of the later Harry Potter movies. Each time I inhale I smell the scent of ancient books, ancient fine wood, and expensive perfume and cologne. Yet another rapturous experience here at the University of Oxford.

tell us more about this girl op

what did you get up to all evening? have you kissed yet?

>>10191797
The waiter still wouldn't care. If anything one fewer table means less work for him. You can't keep fucking up these minor details, it really detracts from the narrative.

Oxford posting reminds me of Elliot Rodger's monologue style.

>>10188211
>believing trash tabloids

I hope the threads so far have been archived.

>>10191878
All threads get archived

>>10191834
What do you care to know? She is of the finest stock this country has to offer, both her parents being themselves privately educated and having worked in London for decades in high-status, high-wage careers where they worked alongside fellow gentically distinct upper class individuals whose networking potential was simply too good to pass up. She herself was educated at one of the finest Elite private (~£36,000 a year fees) schools where not a single Muggle (apologies, this word is one we use to describe proles / plebs / peasants / the "working" class) was admitted and where she was allowed to flourish as a true English Rose, chaste and intellectually astute, from an early age until the time came, alas, to head to the University of Oxford with over a dozen of her classmates. Her skin is so pale that it appears that the sun, that vile potentate of lesser breeds, has not once inflicted itself upon her. She is such a delicate human being that it is clear that she simply would not survive in a brutal, orc-like working class environment. Each time I hold her in my arms I feel not only the corporeal weight of her petite body but also the weight imposed by generations of her genetically superior ancestors, for whom she is tacitly expected to succeed in life (earning at least twice as much as her age) and to then breed with a suitably Elite individual and bear him children capable of doing the same. Such pressure! Such duty! You know last night, as we lay silently listening to an exquisite piano riff intended for highly civilized ears, she whispered to me: "You know, my parents paid a lot of money to prevent me from dating someone like you". I simply chuckled and grasped her even tighter in my faux-apish grasp (my hands are suitable large, with hair surpassing the border of the wrist and trailing along the side towards my little finger, and reinforce the masculine image I adopt for her sake, as she does the feminine for mine) and kissed her warm, scentful hair. And did we kiss? Yes we did. Her warm saliva tasted so refined as our tongues pressed together like heavy clouds overlapping in an autumn sky. Every single nerve ending in her body I'm sure was on duty that evening, burning ferociously as I moaned in contentment, eventually sensing a rising pressure, a growing urgency, which led to my masculine hand pressing against her thin black easily tearable tights, up which it wandered until she suddenly used both hands to stop it. "Remember what I said," she whispered, her eyes wide as a cat's. "I shan't penetrated you," I whispered back, chuckling once more and kissing her soft forehead. Instead of disappearing beneath her expensive, non-China produced skirt, explored the vast plain atop it until, and I hesitate truly to allow you an insight into so intimate a moment, I happened upon her genital region in which a monument to her heightened erotic state dominated the landscape. Yes, dear reader, her clitoris had become erect.

>>10191893
kek

>>10191893
Put this skill for word to use by waking up some of your cucked island brethren, m8.

>>10191893
>tfw i will never have a patrician qt gf with a highly educated clitoris accustomed to Maybach seats and passing Cristal

>Wake up at 7 a.m. and tell my madre I need the 40$ pesos she borrowed yesterday from me to get tortillas and jamón
>Eat some huevo con tortilla and salsa verde before walking to la parada del camión
>Let my two perros out to scare the chickens outside away
>After half an hour of walking through the dirt roads finally arrive to la parada
>A drunkard makes fun of my hair and calls me maricón
>A camión finally stops by
>El stinky camión is filled to the brim with fat señores and señoras but get on it anyways because my pueblo is very far away
from my college and I can't afford to be late
>On the road, I hear some gunshots in the distance and manage to read some menacing narcomantas hanging from the bridges
>Shivering, I decide to chat with my girlfriend María, an innocent airheaded and alluring morena of glorious mixed race with big eyes and big butt who never finished la secundaria on my 1,000$ pesos cellphone from el oxxo
>I fuck her three times every day
>María thinks I'm cute because I'm güerito and very smart
>María talks about her younger sister's quinceañera and wants me to be her chambelán
>In Mexico, this is a great honor, so I accept the duty, even though I've never before danced banda in my life because I find it embarassing
>I left my guard down amidst the sentimentality so a cholo steals my 1,000$ pesos cellphone and my 300$ pesos shoes at gunpoint
>I take out 'The Republic' from my backpack and return to where I left it

>>10187671

I'm sorry Oxford Anon, but this funpost felt like it was lacking a bit of something, not your best work 8/10

>>10187671
I feel like OP is slowly telling us a story he has already written out before, using greentext like a diary submission and time between posts to make it seem as if it is happening live. Our oxford character will slowly fall into a descent of madness, or perhaps it will turn out to be some long dead great philosopher's biography which we will slowly realize over time.

If these Oxford posts are serious however, I need to tell you OP that you're a fucking retard.
But I have faith and I feel something good coming.

>>10191965
Yeh, same. It's like the sorrows of young werther, but written by a retard for cheap laughs. Maybe its a meta narrative, a commentary on the decline of contemporary art?

>>10191965
he's legit. he posted in the discord last night and agreed to meet some dude from Trinity college this weekend iirc

>>10191970
The meetup hasn't happened yet. We also don't know that the dude from Trinity college is not also him talking to himself. Even if the trinity college dude is legit, and they meetup, it still wouldn't be proof that it's real.

Things like this are a thousand times easier to fabricate than they are to proof.

>tfw looking down at the plebs ITT from Bodleian

>>10192008
Oh damn, I guess you're legit. Unless there's another anon at Oxford stealing your thunder.

t. former Bodleian Library regular

>>10192008
fuck you op i'm jealous. fuck living in eastern europe is so hellish.

dude i graduated from the university of young thug and anime, OK? you can't tell me there's anything more transcendent than listening to hyper-melodic trap rap music and watching cute anime wives try to organise the rock band while making time for classes and eating cake (i have many, i'm actually an ancient traditionalist follower of the ways of islam but i make time for my weeaboo interests inbetween praying five times a day).

I don't really believe there's anything more transcendentally and philosophically significant to my life - I've studied under Plato, Aristotle, Diogenes, Aurelius, the pre-Socratics, Kant, Hegels, the list goes on...... (Socrates is not here because he never existed, it's an open secret that most of his lectures were taught by multiple imposters, but the format was sound and it just stuck) - than true hedonistic urges. Hentai is the greatest form of relief and is possibly the most important form of philosophy and art we have in our day and age. Video games are currently the most relevant form of mainstream entertainment as print media and film begin to dilute and implode.

My answer to your question, sir: Sir, I understand you may have studied under the conventionally whimsical - how charming it is to study at Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, etc, etc -- all the old buildings, and that - but, SIR: May I remind you that I am truly versed in every form of art and philosophy and I only partook in the scholarly events of my own university: the university of: video games. The most important people in this day and age are video game characters - prove me wrong. They are diverse. Check. They are powerful, strong. Check. They are heroes we need. Check.

Sorry to burst your bubble, son, but this world is changing. A$AP Rocky is running for president; Harry Potter is Western Canon and the most important text for the past 3,000 years; Anime Porn is better than Real Porn; Nobody needs to fork out $1,000,000 for a degree when they can just play Skyrim. Read Walden? No thanks, I have to visit Whiterun!

In summary: I'm sure I understand the intricacies of life much more than you and I get more pussy too, even if it is 2d. Asalaam alaikum, brother.

>tfw also at Oxford
>tfw just woke up after finishing a philosophical essay at 4 am
>tfw missed lectures because they're not mandatory and I've taken access to world class lecturers as granted because I have intense tutorials with them

>>10192008
what a shitty collection of drafty old buildings. pathetic desu.

>i-i'm not mad

>>10192046
Did you attend a private school?

>>10192058
Don't you mean draughty?

>>10192067
No, I am not one of the genetically recessive cowards who never left the home island.

>>10187706
>pleasures which, alas, may not be readily experienced outside of Oxford
Dude, you can flirt with girls and go to dances at literally any college. Only difference is the money which you are,so obsessed with

>>10192115

You can't flirt with Oxford girls at Alabama State, Cletus (or if you're British, at Grimsby Polytechnic, Darren).

>>10192115
Believe me when I say that you will never meet a girl of the same quality as my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic, wealthy-beyond-measure, intelligent, genetically profound girlfriend in any university other than the University of Oxford (or, I admit, perhaps Cambridge). You may find a physically attractive girl, perhaps even one who has read a few books and know a thing or two about how to conduct herself in an elegant and graceful manner, but the beauty of my hopefully soon-to-be privately educated (~£36,000 a year fees) girlfriend is so inherent, so native to her character, so embedded in her existential make-up, that barely any rivals exist to challenge her. Nor, I should add, would my hopefully soon-to-be English Rosh, RP-accented, Hermione-esque girlfriend ever condescend to date someone like yourself whose perspective on life is obviously a consequence of your lowly upbringing. Now you may point out that I was born in a working class environment, yet have succeed to entrance this girl in a most Beauty & The Beast-like manner. But I would encourage you to understand that I myself am something of a fluke of nature, possessing all the virtues of the upper class (except for wealth, which will come in due course after I graduate and move to London to work long hours to make dozens of thousands of pounds per year in a competitive industry) but also every virtue more prevalent among the working class. I have transcended the socio-economic dichotomy, in a sense, which explains why my hopefully soon-to-be aesthetic, sensitive, girlfriend is so willing to spend time with me despite admitting herself that her own parents have spent a great deal of their income on keeping away from the lascivious grasp of the native poor.

>>10192210
Do you have OCD or like is there a notepad file you have open to copy and paste the key phrases from every time you use them?

>>10192216
I have not been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive-disorder, nor do I intend to be. Here at the ancient, globally renowned University of Oxford we do tend to have the ability to articulate by writing something a little more than a youtube comment, twitter post, acronym, emoji or ebonic slangterm.

>>10192210
>dating
>before marriage

It's a good thing we are civilizing all of you pale, fish-eating great apes.

>>10187721
/thread

>>10192222
You must get sick of typing out
>privately educated (~£36,000 a year
though.

>>10192244
On the contrary, my good man, each time I type it out I am reminded by the fact that my hopefully soon-to-be upper class, genetically insurpassable girlfriend belongs to an Elite demographic of which I am now a member.

>From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English
>my (good) man
>British English, old-fashioned

>spoken used when talking to someone of a lower social class – do not use this phrase

You're not of the upper crust yet, poseur. You may never truly be received there, in fact. Wouldn't that be some egg on your eyes-too-close-together genetically plebian face?

Desire pic related, btw. You cannot truly be in the elite by marrying into it, can you? Even so, how could the relationship survive your ascension? You would forever be in her debt, your lowborn status would be a weight around her gracile patrician neck.

>>10192279
You desire a photograph of my hopefully soon-to-be privately educated (~£36,000 fees per year excluding additional costs for instrument tutorials, school trips and other trivial - to the upper class, that is - expenses), pale-white, stylish, genetically ideal girlfriend? I would encourage you not to get your hopes up, although I shall make sure to inform you should she and I ever appear in Bystander (I bet you don't even know what that is, do you?). I am already a member of the Elite thanks to my being a student here at the ancient, illustrious, academically supreme University of Oxford, but I admit that will me marrying into a family whose lineage may be defined by its socio-economic success for generation upon generation. How? Well, firstly as I have explained I am using my knowledge of working class life to entertain her and manipulating, albeit playfully, her naivety by introducing myself as some sort of mysterious, Aragorn-esque traveler from some distant, mist-shrouded land whose own genetic distinction and sheer independent of will has allowed him to attend the University of Oxford alongside the dandified and rather childish young men with which she has been so far acquainted.

>>10192302
Photograph your leaded window and tempting glass of water with time stamp my good man, it’s a jolly easy request is it not wot wot?

>>10192309
see>>10192008

>>10192319
Time stamp halfwit.

>being satisfied with Oxford and being a social climbing salaryman in (((London)))
>not retaking the Empire

Britannia wept.

Here’s an example from my horrid working class timber and brick window overlooking grim industrialised surroundings.

>>10192363
Does your name begin with a J?

>>10192369
Nope.

>>10192372
Ah knew someone who wore something similar.

>>10192363
>fat thumbs
>ironically torn jumper

lol decadent detected

>>10192378
It’s a cast for my buggered wrist.

>>10192384
>weak genes

Whodda thunk it

>>10192382
>ironically torn jumper

Jesus, have none of you ever seen a fucking cast before?

Anyway, we digress. OP’s inability to fulfill a basic request shows there’s not even a modicum of truth to his trolling. Time to ignore these shitposts.

>>10192398
AHH, another lower-class drain on society. Can't work, on the dole, proud of his free lunch deformities. Living side by side, speaking the same language (almost) as the greatest minds on Earth at the University of Oxford. Britain is truly a magical place.

>all these bottom bothered brainlet virgins stuck in community college ITT

I know OP is a troll post, but Jesus get your act together

>>10192401
Who says OP is in his room at the minute pleb? He's already posted a photo from BodLibrary, which is comfy af btw

Oxbro can you pls cultivate gentlemanly kindness and stop bullying we plebs. It is unbecoming of a man of your station.

>>10188450
I entered Oxbridge as a postgrad and quickly realised it's a completely different experience compared with the undergrads- not nearly so distinctive. Made me wish I'd done a BA there tbph

>>10192008
When was that photo taken, the '60s? They've resurfaced the courtyard and power-cleaned the walls since then.

>>10187671
>Who knows, I may end up usurping them!
From your writing style so far, you'll be lucky if you 'usurp' my neighbour's retarded toddler.

>>10192405
>full-time student
>on track for first
>live independently
>earn £13,000 per year from part-time work not including student loans and grants

Sure is terrible being in the underclass. Meanwhile you pass the time with an obnoxious persona on 4chan. My NEET sense is tingling.

>hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic
This gets me every time

>>10192412
This photo which contains a recently repaired section of wall?

>>10192465
OP btfo. Party's over. There is no slender patrician gf, and OP is actually londonbro losing his marbles.

This thread screams school shooter

Are brits actually unironically proud of their country? Jesus...

>>10192465
Are you saying the photo on the right supports the notion that OP is actually at Oxford?

>>10192474
This fag seems to think it contradicts that claim.

Serious question, do all Oxford-goers actually speak like pompous faggots in their daily lives or is it just a meme?

>>10192487
They do, but not like OP.

>>10192248
>hopefully soon-to-be upper class
Your writing gives me abdominal cancer

If I ever go on a shooting spree it will be oxford or Cambridge. Maybe eton

>>10192248
You do realize, that even if you succeed in rising upwards to a higher economical class than you are used to, you'll still, most likely, belong to the lower classes culturally?
It's extremely hard to fit in as a cultured higher class member if you grew up as lower class.
It doesn't matter how much you train, or how cultured you think you are, it will always be painfully obvious to the rest of the upper class where your roots are, this is inescapable.

>>10192181
dude at Alabama State there are hundreds of sorority sisters with pedigree plantations. Bad comparison since they are obviously better than harrypotterfag british """"intellectual""""" girls

>>10192181
>(or if you're British, at Grimsby Polytechnic, Darren).

>>10190116
Thanks for the rec, will check it out. How did you come across it?

>>10192474
How the hell is OP btfo?

Pic related is the wall as it looks now, so >>10192008 was obviously taken today or at least very recently

>>10192549
Not OP but I'm genuinely at Oxford. You can't see that view from the Bodleian. All the reading rooms are much higher up and don't give that view

Such is, such is, such is...life.

>>10192559
So you coming Bridge tonight then?

>>10192553
That is absolutely not true and you very well know it.

t. trinity maths anon

>>10192566
T.Hertford anon

what's the color of the boathouse at hertford

>>10188237
>I'm just another materialistic faggot lmao
Shame, we had high hopes for you. You had a lot of potential until you squandered it all in a single post.

OP fight me outside radcam

>>10192585
>Implying Oxford bitchboys can even make a punch

>>10192575
I dunno I've never been to the boathouse

>>10192559
I want to guess... Christchurch?

>tfw OP is the only one in this thread not actually in Oxford

>>10191953
>Eat some huevo and tortilla
What?
Do you eat Milk and cheese for breakfast too?

>>10192594
>mfw there are "people" on /lit/ that never went to Oxford

>>10192594
I know a few working and middle class folk who went to Oxford or Cambridge and they’re all pretty sound. They don’t walk around thinking they’re an Evelyn Waugh character for one thing.

ITT

Man, the UK is a fucking dystopia.

>>10190116
thank you so much, I've been looking for a book exactly like this!
>>10192545
Also curious

Is there a discord for Lit Oxford people

>>10192602
>yfw I study a construction related degree at a former technical college yet I am still more well read than most of the pseuds on this board

>tfw another day closely orbiting the noumenal realm here at the ancient and illustrious University of Oxford
>tricky lecture this morning which will take some additional research and maybe some JSTOR downloads, though others in the room were obviously struggling too
>met my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic, Elite, wealthy, virgin girlfriend only briefly as we crossed paths near the library
>tfw she was with a pretty large group of people, the vast majority of whom were conspicuous members of my nation's socio-economic and indeed genetic Elite
>tfw she introduced me to a friend from her college, who I saw poking my hopefully soon-to-be born-to-succeed girlfriend's side as they walked away probably because she was blushing so much when we smiled nervously at each other (the romantic realm is still so new to us both)
>now back in my room with a full stomach thanks to some random, obscure submissive (poor) catering staff doing as I told them in return for money
>will study for the rest of tonight, wearing my favorite polo neck jumper, corduroy trousers and blazer so that my physical self-image helps to reinforce my mental self-image as a troubled young academic tortuously wrestling with that great adversary The Truth
>tfw weather's starting to get colder, which I absolutely love, and I'm already longing for the days where my hopefully soon-to-be privately educated (~£36,000 a year fees) girlfriend and I will walk side-by-side on a chilly, misty, grey afternoon wearing scarves and thick coats and anticipating some Harry Potter-esque formal event that evening

This will likely be my final post for today, I'm sorry to say. I do hope the scraps I have thrown you are sufficient to sate your curiosity and envy for at least another day. If not I encourage you to press your snouts to the glass tomorrow when a further update will probably be provided should I feel like it.

>>10192606
Because they have no right to. They know their place.

>Oxford
>Not Cambridge
Oh dear oh dear

>>10192620
Can you just hurry up and get to the part where you suck off a member of the Bullingdon Club thinking that you’ll get made an honourary working class member?

>>10192620
But it's half four in the afternoon? Hall doesn’t open for at least another hour and a half.

>>10192629
>what are non-university affiliated eating places for $40

Jesus man

>>10192620
>Harry potter esque formal
More proof that he's full of shit

>>10192591
Why? Don't you want to guess correctly instead?

I invite any Oxford shitposters to meet me outside the Bodliean library right now for a good telling off

>>10192641
lol nah, there are tons of formals at oxbridge

>>10192639
Yeah, but at 4:30pm?bit early for supper

>>10192620
>soon-to-be privately educated
Well done on this joke, it's simple but consistently entertaining.

>>10192645
He said formal event, not formal.

>>10192642
n-no

;_;

Fellow Oxford anons.

Did you attend a private school?

>>10192658
No but I attended a highly selective grammar which is partnered with a very prestigious rah private school

>>10192663
Where abouts? Not trying to dox.

Guess: Hampshire?

>>10192658
Femanon who went to ~£36,000 private school. After seeing this thread OP is no longer my bit of rough, I like my oiks to be satisfied in their inherent inferiority.

>>10192674
I'm a girl btw

>>10192673
Not gonna say the actual city cos there's only one place that there that fits the description.
It was in South East England

>>10192688
Fair enough lad. What do your parents do?

>>10192693
My mum's a teacher and my dad works in IT. My dad never went to uni.
Both don't make very much and neither of them helped or pushed me into applying to Oxford or my grammar. Shitposting on lit equipped me with the skills needed to pass an Oxford interview

>>10192658
No, but I entered as a postgrad which doesn't really count- not nearly the same elite status thing going on.

>>10192704
Fair enough, thanks for answering :)

Nice to see your fiction is popular

Anybody else here genuinely envious of OP?

I mean I am sitting here in a shitty commieblock eating cereal from the box and applying for job #291, yet OP is in some awesome castle with a cute girlfriend. Fuck...

What are your thoughts on lifting weights and businessmen?

>>10192559
My guess is Lincoln. Am I right?

>>10192739
Lifting weights is tedious but healthy, lifting businessmen is trickier.

>>10192732
It's fake

>>10192732
me

this image made me feel so comfy >>10192559

>>10192732
At the end of the day even a small african child can be happy with a stick and this supposedly Oxford Op can be sad with the same stick.
What you have is sufficient and there is beauty in every aspect of life.
Besides, his gf will probably cheat on him with one of his close friends so God giveth God taketh.

>>10192732
Nope. I use my creativity for writing music, songs and poetry rather than wasting it trolling.

>>10187671
> racial and social homogeneity
spotted the nigger

>>10192585
Oxford meetup anyone?

>>10192618
>construction related degree
Is it Cement Studies or History of Bricklaying?

>>10192797
Quantity Surveying, so a bit of both.

>>10192771
So deep.

>>10191893
This is magnificent

>>10187671
I fucking hate you.
You goddamn arrogant prick. Kill yourself.

You'll never write anything important. Prick.

>>10192813
Say what you like, it’s better than the overwhelming emptiness and boredom that drives such attention whoring as this.

>>10188448
this guy gets it

>>10191893
>tfw orc

>>10191953
This is great, man. Keep it up.

>>10192610
There's an identical 'elite' in the US its just less visible and obscured behind generations of American Dream 'hard work and success' Calvinist propaganda...a lot of the WASPS who own Wall Street actually attend Eton, they're mostly cousins of the Eton/Oxbridge/City of London set.

>>10193055
Nice anti-semitism you've going on there pal.

>>10193119
WASP means White Anglo-Saxon Protestant dumbass.

>>10191953
Holy kek paisa

>>10193142
implying that jews dont own wall street is antisemitic

>>10191953
10/10 and also strangely comfy

>>10187671
Always nice to see one of you toilers reach for the stars.

>>10193119
Fucking retard.

You're a hero and a scholar.

>tfw sitting here in my ancient University of Oxford dormitory with a hardback book open on my sturdy desk and a lamp softly illuminating the room in which countless men of renown have slept and studied
>tfw had to stop reading earlier when I experienced a sudden, overwhelming feeling of empathy towards peasants in general, especially peasant young males who don't have a cute, sensitive, genetically distinct, upper class Elite soon-to-be-girlfriend in their lives
>tfw remembered all my previous posts here and realize that some poor prole was probably reading them in his sub-£500,000k home and probably feeling helpless, not to mention envious and bitter
>took a stroll outside to clear my head, wrapped in a long vintage black coat which I held closed across my chest like the mysterious, intellectually tortured protagonist of some highly praised French or Russian novel
>tfw just now finished my studies for the day, having wrestled with that most stubborn beast, Truth, and forced it to concede further territory to my rapidly growing intellect
>called my hopefully soon-to-be privately educated (£36,000 fees per year) after seeing a missed call and text from her
>tfw she asked if I was cold and I said no, and she said she was chilly and wished I was in her dorm room to wrap my arms around her

Another fine day here at the University of Oxford has almost concluded, and thus to sleep I go, but hopefully not to dream; reality now offering a far more congenial world in which to express my will and experience the multiform pleasures of this world. Goodnight /lit/, may you sleep well also, and may your dreams compensate for the horror of your non-Elite plebeian existence.

>>10193611
thanx bruh

>>10193055
Yeah, it's anglo poison basically.

>>10190145

Somewhat exaggerated but still relatively true. Oxbridge graduate here, got a 2:2. Although I think this is correlation not causality because most of the time it's just that there are more well connected people at Oxbridge in the first place who have jobs lined up. I know several people from working class backgrounds from places like Milton Keynes, who are struggling to get jobs despite having better grades and a better degree than myself. They lack the 'soft skills' because their parents lacked an education and couldn't pass it on. I've actually visited some of them and it's quite depressing, their parents expect their kids to drag them out of poverty and exert undue pressure on the kids who then regress into an almost childlike lifestyle due to an inability to cope.

Also I feel the prestige behind an Oxbridge degree is going to decline as SJWs become more influential there, even now I read articles daily about how Oxbridge needs more *insert minority here*, so suffice to say if I have kids they'll probably be going to LSE or something.

>>10193646
What job did you get with a 2:2?

>>10193667
Archbishop of Capetown

>>10193681
Is this an actual joke known by a lot of people? My boss earned a 2:2 and he refers to it as a "Desmond Tutu" and isn't ashamed at all.

>>10193691
Aye, I have heard a lot of people refer to a Desmond.

It’s better than a Richard at least.

Are you try hard faggots unable to see such an obvious joke? Is this all ironic?

Fuck I wish I was OP. Are you allowed visitors in your ancient, world renowned dormitory?

>>10193667

I work in banking, it isn't anything glamorous like investment banking, it's Wealth Management. Despite the name it's actually full of nepotism because the job pretty much does itself. You delegate all the analysis to the drones, take all their data, arrange it nicely, then discuss it with clients over dinner. Because most of these clients are very rich they aren't looking for huge returns, just wealth preservation hence it's actually much less high pressure than jobs at GS. The most difficult part is by far dealing with clients who are really weird and basically have no friends despite all their wealth. About 50% of my job is pretending to be friends with these people. No joke I actually have one client who once joined me on a family holiday. Still it pays well.

>>10193796
Literally a whore.

>>10193796
Seems like a weird job. Do you work in the City?

>>10193796
Sounds quite cushy. Do you get expense paid lunches at Alain Ducasse?

>>10193825

I used to, transferred to the Belgravia Office so I could walk home from work.

>>10193824

The bank I work for is pronounced the same way as 'whore' so I get that a lot from my friends in IB.

>>10193859

It is fantastically cushy, and I get expense paid breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. I gained a lot of weight just from eating at Launceston Place every week. It's very hard staying in shape.

I also ate at l'Hotel de Ville literally two days before Benoit killed himself.

>>10193861
Did you attend a private school before Oxford?

>>10193872
Damn, the thought of guzzling down rich food all day is pretty good. As a borderline schizoid case I couldn’t do this though, if I dislike someone I can’t hide it well in my facial expressions or tone.