/lit/ - Literature

There are pie crumbs on my balls.

write a poem it'll last longer

I want to get a glass of water from my kitchen but i don't wan't to have to interact with my flatmate.

I'll wait till he goes to bed

I have a truly kafkaesque relationship with my father, who is off his bipolar meds and is acting very erratic again. I consistently have nightmares and panic attack about trivial things regarding his judgement of me. I was always a shy reader growing up, but as a child he would force me into sports and auto/construction activity. When I inevitably failed he would yell, insult me and express his disapointment in having "his" son be so inept. That's probably why I'm so self conscious about performing trivial tasks, it is really negatively affecting my work. Could be worse though, not trying to get pity just blogposting

I shouldn't have bought that didgeridoo

>>10175848
hang in there bud, work on what you can, use it as motivation to try to succeed, you don't need to worry about him, you have your own life to live, you should still respect him and appreciate, but theres no use in panicking and worrying, you have the power to succeed, I dont know what you can do to make him proud, or if he can ever be satisfied, but thats not your business, maybe you can get him a gift some day to try to see if you can please him, he likes cars maybe a model car of something he likes, I dont know, some day you can move out, you have your own life to live

I wish I was like everybody else. I wish that I enjoyed the things everybody else enjoyed, and I wish I still enjoyed the things that used to make me happy. I missed out on my chance to be a teenager (go to parties, drink and do drugs, go to prom, etc.) and now I'm behind everybody else. I daydream about meeting someone who will go with me to live in Nashville and just enjoy the city and surrounding mountains. I'm supposed to derive my happiness from superiority to others (that's what I have been taught to strive for—superiority) but I just want to be happy with a small group of friends and one person whom I can confide in and spend the rest of my life with. I want to be happy in my own way, but it doesn't seem possible. I think I may have an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, or even schizophrenia, but I'm afraid to see a psychiatrist because seeing someone would require me to give up my ideal world fantasy of Nashville and confront the fact that I am far to flawed and that I don't merit happiness.

>>10175902
*too

>>10175902
>behind everybody else
Nice fallacy. That shit isn't important and won't ever be as an adult. The sad sacks that cling to those memories are the ones that got married and fat and settled into a life in their hometown.

>>10175902
>I missed out on my chance to be a teenager (go to parties, drink and do drugs, go to prom, etc
If it makes you feel better, I suspect we have similar personalities and general interest, and I tried all those things a couple times and hated them. I would much rather stay home and read than go to party so that's what I do usually. Maybe it's because I have so little in common with my friends who I only connected with through drugs in HS and sort of keep in contact with because I can't make new ones.

I am reading LeCarre, A Legacy of Spies.

It revisits The Spy Who Came In From the Cold, the moral shadiness of the op. After 50 years, the chickens have come home to roost. It's good stuff. A clever premise, very nicely developed.

I'm halfway through, but the story has so much juice and momentum I feel like LeCarre is a champion. I'm hoping the book sticks the landing. We shall see.

PS: I had a hardback copy of The Secret Pilgrim laying around for ages. The cover art gave me the impression it would be a boring book. Tbqh, I stumbled on a synopsis of the book in Wikipedia that intrigued me, because I didn't know Smiley was part of the story. Anywho, I read it and it was rather good. B+. But the book never developed as much momentum and narrative interest as Legacy of Spies has halfway through.

PPS: I've started to read The Tailor of Panama. The first 60-odd pages were rather brilliant, but then there was a falling off in momentum. I hope it picks up again. Now what led me to ToP was read - or really mostly skimming - LeCarre's memoir. He has a chapter on the real-life tailor that inspired the book; and one about the person who inspired the creation of Alec Leamas; and also has some interesting things to say about the making of the Swciftc film. And a nice chapter about Alec Guinness.

>>10175920
>because I can't make new ones
This is me. It feels awful.

This movie is so fucking good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkc7EQwosBw

>>10175810
The only thing on my mind is the health of Bugs. He really needs to go easy on the carrots.

Depression fucking SUCKS

I WANT THIS TO STOP

>>10175990
consider this.

>>10175972
?

>>10175990
Just do drugs senpai

>>10175810
I hope I nail my grad school interview.

>>10176006
What

>>10176010
This, taking drugs until i had to drop out of college and subsequently becoming an alcoholic have done wonders for my depression.

>>10175810

I've seriously considered suicide several times this year. Not kidding.

The sensation of morning sunlight beaming down on the young man's face was the most genuine feeling of actual warmth that he had been given in weeks. Beggars can't be choosers especially if you’re locked away in a cell by the British Army for 2 weeks with little to no human interaction. However, the young man's next destination would be his last, and he was well aware of that. Dry blood litters his boyish face as the two redcoats viciously drag him across the muddy-green lawn, finally tossing him under a willow tree as he gasps for air. One of the soldiers begins to wrap a rough piece of rope around the boys neck while the second redcoat ties the other side of the rope to the tallest branch in the tree. A crowd starts gather at this point, waiting in anticipation for the upcoming spectacle. Panting, out of breath, scared, in shock, the young man looks around desperately trying to find a way out of his current predicament. He sees nothing. Realizing that this is the end of his journey, he straightens his posture, lifts up his chin, looks directly into the crowd, and shouts in a raspy voice, “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country!”And with that last final phrase, the crows screeched and Nathaniel Hale met his maker. The life of Nathaniel Hale represents the three key characteristics of a radical: strong determination, a clever wit to see the plan through, and a controversial legacy for decades to come. Radicals must meet this criteria in order to be remembered in the pages of revolution.

>>10176160
Nice. Nathan Hale is a hero in the intelligence community. Good imagery.

>>10175810
>be me about 2 hours ago
>walk all the way down town to get car from the garage attached to the mall
>free parking if you leave after 1:00 (or so I thought)
>garage employee still manning the gate's arm
>$24 to leave
>fuckthat.epub
>wait it out for an hour
>thinking about mcdonald's new buttermilk crispy chicken strips (made with no preservatives or artificial coloring)
>multiple fights almost take place by my car
>all of them drunk black men
>not racist, but tonight isn't a good one for the black community
>2:00 am rolls around
>gatekeeper finally hangs up his boots
>start to drive out of garage
>a group of four black men walking in front of me on my drive out
>one walking intentionally slow in front of my car
>"oh, he coonin', nigga he coonin'!"
>they laugh so outrageously loud it's almost ironic
>the echos in the otherwise silent garage make their laughs seem even louder
>probably drunk. I hope they make it home.
>brush it off and make my way to mcdonalds
>listening to college radio
>"we play the stuff nobody else will play"
>turn off the radio for playing nothing but /mu/core
>hate myself for knowing what /mu/core is
>get to the drivethrough
>line is about 12 cars long and parking lot is full
>I've already waited this long
>play some music from my phone through the aux
>shuffle all
>/mu/core by memeband
>skip
>/mu/core by memeband2
>turn volume down and hum along ironically
>5 cars away
>loud black customer angrily screaming at mcdonald's employee
>repeatedly asking the kid working if he was "fuh real rai nah"
>turn up the music a few notches to drown this joker out
>after a few cars I finally pull up to the window
>instantly greeted by cashier
>weccum to mcdonalds, whacanni getchu?
>can tell he's had a busy night with all of the customers
>Hi, I'll have a 6 piece of your buttermilk chicken tenders please
>sarry suh, but we all out uh da buttamilk chickin rai nah
>brief silence. almost unnoticeable.
>almost.
>I can getchu somth-
>no thanks.
>drive off.
>That fucking nigger.
>speed all the way home sing/crying through a joanna newsom song about how being a woman is hard
>run upstairs and shitpost on 4chan

you played yourself

>>10176171
Sarcasm or genuine praise? Hard to tell over the internet.

>>10176372
Genuine. I could see the handsome young lad trying to escape his fate. Settle down Poindexter.

>>10176377
Oh thanks then. It was just my intro for my essay on radicals.

I had gas all night like something inside me had died then just now when taking a shit I remembered that I ate two large roast garlic cloves yesterday and that's probably it.

>>10175810
>I have a week left to prepare a pitch for a writing job and I'm reading this dumb site out of habit instead of working. Feels bad.
I have a job application for a top tier position I've been vying for over the last two years due in a few days. I have locked myself in my office and am spending 90% of the time on /lit/, /ck/, or just dicking around online.

It's terrible. I've had a lot of time to prepare my application but here I am.

My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic

>>10175810
I wamt to buy a van, live in it, and write some books in french

>>10175810
I'm alone ,my dog cut her paw last night and the vet only opens tomorrow, I will fail my classes this semester and I have not a single drop of motivation/discipline to do what I have to, also benzodiazepine withdrawns are pure hell. Stay the fuck away from this drugs.

I'm unsure if I keep reading philosophy or come back to fiction.

I proudly "commit" the fundamental attribution "error"

>>10176235
pretty funny

My mind has more or less evaporated under the stress and misery of street life. I miss being able to think. I miss having goals that seemed attainable. Now all I have to look forward to is either getting SSI and collecting neetbux for the rest of my life, or not getting it and killing myself.

I'm feeling vainly proud as I have read much more than I normally would this week and quite sasfied knowing if I keep up this pace I could finish the back log of books I have

Haven't masturbated in a week and my testosterone levels are back up, gonna start spinning through my dating app of choice to get something going. The last two nights I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about this redhead I met at my old job, which she just started and I just left. I should try to get in touch with her.

>>10177610
Was in the same boat, recently got back into fiction and found it refreshing.

>>10177910
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you talked with a therapist?

>>10177927
Keep it up!

>>10178012

There's nothing to talk about. Like I said, my mind has evaporated.

>>10178017
"My mind has evaporated" is something. Is it depression?

WE ADDICTED TO DOPAMINE
DELAY OR ABSTAIN FROM INSTANT GRATIFICATION
SELF DISICPLINE IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS

>>10178023

Probably

I've felt like that for about half a year now except the entire time I've been calling it "my brain turned into pudding"

>>10178113
>>10177910

>>10175902
If it makes you feel any better, I have lived like a normie for a year while I was a teenager. Did drugs, fucked girls, hung out with big groups of friends. And guess what? I hated every second of it. Yeah you could argue that it's easy for me to say this but you missed nothing essential. A big amount of people go without this shit and some of them are better off for it. It's not too late. Making new friends is hard, damn near impossible even but you gotta reach out at one point. If it fails, you had nothing to lose to begin with.

I am incredibly frustrated with myself, i dont think i articulate myself well enough to my psychiatrist i cant seem to tell her how i really feel i just brush it off like its "bad" i cant bring myself to be honest, my life is in constant torment and i cannot kill myself. The only place where i can be honest with my emotions is on a fucking imageboard.

And jesus christ my writing and english become fucking terrible when im tired, i write like a robot with a concussion.

i do love you people

I'm going to fail nearly all my classes this semester, I have no motivation. Been talking to this girl a bit lately, can't tell if she's into me or is just a really friendly and social person. probably the latter. I have an acid trip planned with a couple of my high school friends next month. That's really the only thing I'm looking forward to right now. I've made a couple of new friends this semester, which is nice. I wish I had some fucking motivation to better my life.

>>10178163
love you too anon. and you should just tell the dumb doctor what's on your mind, test the brainlet's ability.

love all you silly fucks tee bee aytch

I think I'll read the Dhammapada for starters. Would prefer a pali/english parallel translation with annotations and commentary on the various translations and meanings of each word. Any suggestions?
Was thinking about this http://nanda.online-dhamma.net/tipitaka/sutta/khuddaka/dhammapada/dhp-contrast-reading/dhp-contrast-reading-en-chap01/#id5

Even when I'm masturbating to some fat husk of a woman, I think of you. You're in the darkest recess of my mind, I just want to coat your cute face in my seed: drops of white sauce dripping off your nose and forehead. I want to see it, and photograph it mentally; my personal image for masturbation material, one I'll never forget.

>>10178644
Disgusting

>>10178650
ty

>>10176235
This is too relatable.

>>10177910
Street life? Are you homeless?

I graduated with a shit degree from a good school and now I live with my mom in my small hometown and work a shitty job that pays shitty pay and all my friends live in nice apartments in big cities and and they make more money than either of my parents make and they have girlfriends and/or they just have sex a lot with hot girls and I haven't felt a single romantic feeling in like 3 years and even that wasn't very good and the one girl who I used to love in HS also lives at home but she has a dickhead boyfriend and she hurt me so much that I don't even want to talk to her or think about her but I see her driving sometimes and we've passed going opposite directions on the bridge over the river and sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I just slammed my car into hers head on.

>>10176235
Sweet jesus

i wish i had some money

>>10179129
here you go

I'm writing narrative poetry for the first time and it's fucking delightful. Holy shit I'm having a blast. Why didn't I do this sooner?

too busy suckin dick

>>10176235
>>hate myself for knowing what /mu/core is
This.

>been writing notes about my story ideas on my phone for the past year or so
>write in it nearly every day
>it's just one huge page
>today I accidentally tapped select all instead of just select when trying to fix something
>happens sometimes, whatever
>tap elsewhere to remove the selection
>realize I almost tapped a letter on the phone's keyboard
>almost erased a year's worth of notes and ideas
I've never been so spooked in my life. Time to make backups.

>>10176235
I want to read a biography of your life anon.

Is it wrong to start a relationship with a girl when I already decided I'm going to kill myself in a few months

>>10175810
Dear beautiful woman who I had to go away from,

I am lonely, and I know that you are too, hell you even told me so.
I have this awful gut feeling that you are injured by something great and terrible, and I know that I am too. I know that you torture yourself, overthink everything, live with those residual monsters in the back of your mind from whatever the hell it is that happened to you. In that way we are the same.
You can see things most other people cannot see, you are stronger than everyone else in a way that makes me look at you in awe, in a way that I understand. I think I know where that comes from. I'm so sorry you had to go to that place as well. I know you've suffered because I've been there myself. From what you've told me, from how you act, how you retreat into yourself, I can see it.
Do you know what the most beautiful thing in the world is? It's when two people who've been chewed up and spit out can find one another, reach out a shaking, hopeful hand, embrace each other and step out of the darkness together. I want to be vulnerable with you.
You call yourself strange, but to me your scars make you more beautiful than any woman in the world, even more so since nobody else but you and I can see them. You're a person who can't see how incredible she is and that makes me heartsick. I want you to have that. You don't deserve to be left out in the cold that way and I won't stand for it.
I want to shelter you with everything I am, hold you tightly in my arms and say "I know who you are." Until then, please, take care of yourself, keep fighting and know that you don't have to be alone anymore. Recently you told me something which shook me to my core as you shouted it from across the country. "Don't go away."

I think I'm in love with you.

>>10179730
Shut the fuck up.

>>10179729
yes, just man up and take good care of her, lover her for life (if shes the one)

>Calculate the volume of water traveling past point A in X minutes.

Can't be done, nigga.

>>10179730

>Dear beautiful woman from whom I had to go away

FTFY, my delusional dude

I don't usually post on this board, despite it being the reason I now read, but I'm both worried for this board's culture as well as my own becoming a writer. It's maybe inappropriate to draw parallels, but I feel it conducive to pressuring myself.

I've begun an MFA program and they're fully covering me, despite so many others going into debt to attend. It's a a greater weight than I thought possible, because I am still so young and unsure of why I'm creating these worlds. My professors are proud of me, recommend me to others, but I see on this board what might so easily become my own story.

I really loathe what's become of many threads here, the /pol/lacks who clearly haven't read, the pursuit of meme literature, the lack of integrity, the antagonism as a result of personal shortcomings; all things correlated to my own dealings with other writing students. I revolted by this retardation and yet horrified by the possibility I too belong to something less than what I'm striving for. I don't want to sit around discussing books and culture in a posture, I want to lay intimately with words and yet I see the potential to fail every day in those incapable students amassing debt. I have no choice but to consume more writing, break my voice until it strengthens into something my own more and more.

I hope I can return to /lit/ after my first book and tell people how little I posted or agreed with others here, that honesty and love are all that matter. I really hope I can return one day to say that truthfully.

>>10179748
Stop being such a queer.

>>10179748
Nobody cares. Leave, faggot.

>>10179739
She's a japanese foreign exchange student who is leaving the country in a few months, we don't have a lot in common but she is very cute. It's weird seeing how happy she is, it's a bit contagious too. I hope she won't blame herself and lose that optimism when I leave.

>>10176144
>taking drugs until i had to drop out of college and subsequently becoming an alcoholic have done wonders for my depression.
lol my life, I think I would have fucked up without them anyway

>>10179729
>is in a position where girls will date him
>still wants to kill himself

Goddamn, dude, you know how many people slog though life without any semblance whatsoever of a love life? If you can fuck, you can live.

how deep is the lore?

>>10179762
>>10175810
Why does a rabbit wear gloves?

>>10179764
bugs is a gentleman

>>10175902
I remember having a steadfast belief that I could never deserve to be happy.
I had to accept a lot of social anxiety and keep myself humble when I first started breaking out of my shell and finding friends.
Suddenly, happiness began to come to me. It can be faux happiness, a passing happiness that comes and goes after a second thought and sometimes leaves an afterglow. There is trully enjoyable enduring happiness at points, a feeling which brings a sincere pleasure to our trivial experiences in an encompassing manner.
Sometimes those thoughts come back. I don't know whether everyone goes through those thoughts, but at the end of the day it's a cross to bear: carry it with dignity and pride.
The good news is that even though this voice may never go away, but persistently trying to be happy helps.

>>10179761
I'm (apparently) attractive enough to have girls start conversation with me but too autistic to do anything about it. I'm a kissless virgin if that makes you feel better. Not the reason I want to kill myself though, I think there's something wrong with my brain.

Passion is good, obsession is better.

>>10179748
How much have you written? Currently writing anything? Planning on writing anything?

>>10179774
Try things with the girl and maybe you'll feel better and decide to stick around for a few more years.

>>10175810
I have recently been "diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." I'm trying to figure out what that means, or if I have a choice in how I perceive that now that someone has tried to mark me with a named idea. I feel like it's all really a load of shit you know? Because at least as far as I can tell, reacting to traumatic events and developing awareness of danger as a result seems like a healthy, reasonable failsafe mechanism for a creature trying to survive. If someone goes through trauma and doesn't change, I ought to think there's something terribly wrong with them. It's gotten me thinking about the power of naming things, or taking names away from our ideas, and how our perceptions are influenced by that.

I don't want to be marked by someone else's idea, at least not one that will influence my perception of myself.

>>10179748
I feel that bro. I'm a neuro major and I don't interact with anybody who is representative of the attitudes/backgrounds of /lit/. Growing suspicion that I'm addicted to browsing this fuckin site and that it's culture rubbing off on me

>>10179781
Veteran or Weinstein victim?

>>10179779
I have a few short stories, a novella, collection of poems too.
Working on two novels and a novella. Program is only two years so going to focus on first novel; second requires more knowledge of architecture and Spanish.

>>10179782
Thanks bruh. I realized halfway through undergrad that people act like /lit/ even if they don't go on 4chan, and just ended up hanging with professors in different departments. The site provided me an avenue to access art and culture, but being Jewish permanently left me feeling unwelcome. /Mu/ and /Lit/ were alright for awhile, but you see how it's getting here. Lot of people bitter they aren't dedicated/talented enough to get away with vague knowledge of a topic. Good luck in study, man. I had a friend at an ivy double-major in neuro and comp lit, co-taught with their philosophy chair and is now in a med program. You can pursue all interests at once, just pace yourself.

>>10179759
are you saying your gonna kill yourself for attention, or to exaggerate, why would you actually, you are only in school? And have a chance to start a relation with a Japanese girl? What does she study, what do yo ustudy?

>>10175902
everybody else is an incredibly lame category to be in

>>10175990
>>10176006
>>10176144
ex opiate addict here

drugs are a nice band-aid for your boo-boos, but unless you properly dress the wounds, they'll fester into something much more hideous. painful antiseptic over gangrenous amputation, any day my friends

as for ameliorating depression, all I can say is: baby steps. rome wasn't built in a day, but pompeii only needed one to die

>>10178163
tell your psych exactly that. and if you can't, write it out then read it aloud. that's exactly what I did (I literally had the same frustration) and it was really useful for moving forward

>>10178980
stop complaining, stop regretting, stop comparing. try doing

>>10179748
don't worry about 4chan. that's retarded. and for the love of god stop trying so hard

>>10179795
good shit man your friend sounds like a dedicated motherfucker.Thanks for the advice btw.

biggest roadblock in my experience has been getting wasted on the weekends which leaves less time to work on other interest, is that in the culture at your school?

>>10179808
>ameliorating

>>10179823
Uhh my undergrad was really lame when it came to parties, but my brother attends a huge state school and does chem engineering and film theory. He rages but is still doing honors chem and writing published papers. I would say you gotta do what you gotta do to tolerate orgo, just hydrate and be willing to sleep less if you still wanna have fun.

Grad school is a little different in that students go out to commiserate about having chosen a profession of no monetary value, but I also cannot understand how people go out for drinks every night in such an expensive city (answer: they don't pay for anything).

>>10179748
>>10179795
You take yourself way to seriously

>>10179829
You've said this a few different ways now. How does it harm you? What are you doing for your own situation my guy? Never been called that irl so aside from riffing too hard on the ending of Bolano's Antwerp for my first post what's your gib?

Go read something from a tradition outside your own and drink some water. It's just a fatbugs thread.

>>10179748
This is too earnest to be a shitpost. Don't worry about being part of a literary community here, or anywhere. Wear this place lightly. It's just a bunch of faggots talking about memes but also some actual good works. You don't need a community to approve of you, just think and express ideas in a way that is pleasing. You'll be ahead of 99% of all wannabes and posers. MFA is shit, just finish it and be grateful.

-OP

>>10179798
I'm a marine biology student, she's a psychology student. I lost literally everything that wasn't in my suitcase almost 4 years ago. My parents passed away in that period of time, and my best friend killed himself. I pushed away most of my other friends except for 2. I don't have money to keep paying for school or rent anymore.

To be honest my father left an inheritance of half a million for me, but when he was ill his brothers manipulated his will in a way that it would go to them. I've been having to deal with lawyers and government agencies for 4 years, it seems it's finally going to be resolved in February, so I decided I'll do it then, if I don't get the money. I must seem really lazy right now, wanting to kill myself just because I want easy money without having to work.

>>10179826
not the best word choice? then let's say 'remedying'

>>10179808
I wish I knew everything like you do buddy.

>>10179828
are there any realizations you had about ways to keep yourself productive/focused? sometimes its a practical issue concerning this but i think that its too easy to alleviate oneself by blaming the context: the best improvements i've made have usually been due to a personal realization, not a practical or material change.

>>10179833
What makes it a shitpost? Serious question. Part of it comes from I never write posts so I don't know how to sound. I mean, yeah, you're right and I don't need a community to write, but doesn't it make you sad knowing there's more kids like me that never had access to art or peers who dug it, and this is all they got? I was lucky that something about how I wrote worked, but how many people fell for the meme that are genuinely okay people? I'm in correspondence with a kid I met on /v/, and when he asked about writing communities the first thing I said was stay away from /lit/. Isn't that more fucked and obvious than it should be? It wasn't this bad before Jordan Peterson posting, but maybe /fitlit/ was too good to be true.


>>10179897
I mean for better or worse I just play a song/album/soundtrack on repeat while I write and that's how I've always worked. I guess things clicked in terms of passion when I read Joyce and Morrison before college and felt less alone. Each time I read authors like them: Keene and Moya and Delaney and Zweig, I feel less alone. Now that I'm in a program that supports writing a novel, all I need now is the reminder of that feeling, of being less alone. It's not some grand cosmionic shit DFW likes to make out of the mundane, but it's my small pivot.

But again, I have a fear of becoming jaded like this whole site, so the practical reason to keep writing is to make memes rather than follow them.

>>10179832
>You've said this a few different ways now
This is my first post directed to you, maybe there's a trend for a reason
>It's just a fatbugs thread.
And yet here you are posting all that annoying garbage

>>10179914
>too earnest to be a shitpost
>what makes this a shitpost

Learn to read, pally

>>10179838
Damn that sounds rough, was kind of expecting the usual 19yr old /r9k/ stuff

>>10179916
You're with a trend of bellicosity on /lit/, does that make you happy?
Maybe you should get off this website if you're getting this upset with someone who actually studies and publishes literature. Ask yourself why you're upset with someone who does they love. Maybe it's garbage because you don't actually care about literature? Again, go hydrate yourself and maybe read a book originally in another language. I promise, at the very least, you won't be attracting any women with that language.

keep thinking about writing incest. i don't even like it that much.

>>10179929
This is hilarious. I can atleast assure you that /lit/ culture hasn't affected your personality. You'd fit in well on reddit and that isn't a pejorative

>>10179929
That guy was right, you take yourself way too seriously.

White privilege is often the buzzword used by the left to demonize conservative voices who just so happen to be white. Instead of addressing any of the main points argued by their conservative opponents, the left will simply just dismiss it entirely by claiming white privilege blinds conservatives from understanding the true hardships of minorities. However, that isn’t actually an argument. It’s the dismissal of someone’s view simply based on their skin color and background. Ironically, it’s racist in of itself to just say that due to someone being white their political views are automatically wrong or misguided due to the fact they have white privilege. It doesn’t address any falsities within their argument but instead uses an individual identity to dismiss it entirely. Yet the question still remains, does white privilege actually exist? Let’s find out why it doesn’t.
Thoughts?

>>10179968
No fuckoff

>>10179914
>What makes it a shitpost?
Take it easy Ronald. >>10179917 This guy had it right. I said it was too earnest to be a shitpost, implying too much of your message reverberated with me for it to be false. If you're getting riled by an anonymous post on a site than you can control, you are too delicate for this world. And spare me your underprivileged sob story, we are all equal here. Your opinion of /lit/ or its overgrown bellicosity is of no value to me, much less your cockgobbling romance with a vtard. Hide threads you find distasteful and stop crying on your keyboard. This board is not your personal ivory tower, faggot. Whine harder or write something worth reading.

>>10179978
Fuck off.

I'm in a bad spot. I was told to study hard and that if I dedicate myself I could make it onto at least 2 International Olympiad teams, probably maths and physics. This would basically have me set for anything I wanted.
I looked back on the last few years of my life and realised that what had been "holding me back" was emotional fallout from various sweethearts and girls I semi-dated. I thought I would be able to just focus, do a year without growing emotionally attached to anyone and make it, but I'm an emotional wreck and having thoughts of suicide. I hated life and everyone because the people I generally interact with are either aimless people who have had everything handed to them or autists with the emotional shallowness that comes with the frustration of being a romantically inexperienced incel.
Just a year ago I was a typical good boy. Then I went though a few hurtful rejections and ended up drinking and doing drugs heavily (opiates, ether) alone at an age when it's normal to be "discovering" this shit with friends. I also kept it all from everyone, nobody knows. I don't know what i thought, there was no real reason for me to be doing it, probably just a pathetic sort of self pity.
Anyway I met a girl in passing a few days ago and talked to her for half an hour and I already think I can't live without her, she's still fairly uncorrupted for her age, sweet and shy. She made me realise there are still people worth living for and I need to unfuck my shit. I'm on a five hour bus ride to her town right now to sit in a cafe and maybe meet her.

Wish me luck, friends

>>10179838
damn sucks, no life insurance? Crazy that the will just wasent explicitly stated and that there was any way they could manipulate it, how many bros is there? And they did so so that you were not in it at all?

I shouldnt have eaten all those anchovies before bed

>>10180031
goodluck, do well with math and physics too, its good stuff, hang in there, dont go crazy over girls or a lack, dont use 'love' as a crutch to distract you from the loneliness of your life, find a true version of it (try to find how you can know what a true version of it is and will be), and compliment your life with it, so you can compliment your lovers

>>10180031
Dealing with your ex-gf-related emotional problems by diving into chasing after a new girl isn't smart you have to be able to see that.
>That last bottle of wine left me hung over, maybe the next one will fix that.

>>10180031

>Anyway I met a girl in passing a few days ago and talked to her for half an hour and I already think I can't live without her

Bro don't fall for the oneitis trap. And don't think that you don't need to listen to other guys who warn you about this shit. You do.

You need to learn to love yourself first before you are in a position to truly love another. Anything short of that is veiled co-dependency under the guise of infatuation. Sounds corny but it's true. I'm basically in the same place you are in a lot of ways but I know that some woman isn't going to be able to magically fix it for me, no matter who she is and how I tell myself that I feel about her. I need to keep working on myself first. So do you. You'll get there, just don't start to get into the habit of falling in love with any woman that gives you the time of day.

>>10180059
>>10180070
>>10180073
Thanks lads, I'll keep you posted

>>10180031
>I met a girl in passing just a few days ago
>already think l can't live without her

You've already got what you needed in terms of a response for your self-pity, and it's nothing you haven't already heard before, I can bet on it. Problems are problems, so don't let life grab you by the pussy. But the above is legitimately concerning. My advise is you cut her off. For her sake. This isn't oneitis, it's just absolutely abnormal, and you need to focus on getting your shit together before you could potentially mentally scar her. Just let her be, and once you've got your cards in the deck, you'll be healthy enough to manage another person in your life.

>>10180085

>My advise is you cut her off. For her sake.

Yeah this is also worth seriously considering. You sound in a bit of a state right now. You should distance yourself for the time being.

>>10180031
Calm the fuck down. You sound 19 years old.

Girls are just humans, nothing special. You make them seem scarcer than meteorites. Love is common as mailboxes kid. Even if you ignore what I'm saying, just don't harm yourself over a dumb broad. Please and thank you.

>>10180092

>You sound 19 years old.

He probably is, or thereabouts.

>>10180031

>>I'm on a five hour bus ride to her town right now to sit in a cafe and maybe meet her.

Completely didn't see this part. You should call it off and not see her. It might be a hard thing to do, but you really don't need to see this girl right now. You are stalker level spazzing out over her after a half hour talk. That isn't normal. Avoid seeing her.

>>10180111
Aight I'll think it over but Im still going to be in town for the whole day so we'll see

>>10180116

Your call. Good luck either way.

>>10180111
Checkin' these trips my man. Listen to this anon.

>>10180116
I've been where you are, it's not healthy. Matter of fact it can be scary. Listen to some puppets sit in a park and just watch the trees m'dude.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi-dJf7wHxc

>>10175810
Friend got the The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) earlier from the charity section of Tesco's. Rather unexpected though I appreciate the sentiment and shall read it, any thoughts on the book? Going to read The Rime of an Ancient Mariner as well given how short it is in length.

>>10175902
If I am being honest with you going to parties, doing drugs, going to prom etc. are not what they are cracked up to be. I still remember our high-school prom and how virtually nothing happened other than some bad dancing and conversation being rendered near impossible by the booming EDM music played at a gratuitous volume. Drinking only works if you fit in otherwise people will mock you, you'll regret the experience and keep playing it back in your head until it angers you. Furthermore you cannot really be behind people in life; life is constantly in chaos where even the smallest variable can lead to enormous outcomes in one's life, and besides many citizens let go even to the most minimal extent which gives more opportunity later in life if you really see it is something competitive, though I'd recommend sorting yourself out now to save time in the future as the Benjamin Franklin quote suggests "one today is two tomorrows". Best of luck to you anon and have a nice day whatever you get up to.

>>10178213
What classes? Its not motivation by the way, once you fail you will either start to run with the flow of things and become extraordinarily relaxed or determine how you live and grind yourself into the ground for the sake of mental/ physical progress. Have a nice day anon!

ya ya ya na na ya na ya na ya na ya na ya na na na na na na na a guy you knew died hanged himself in his primary school thats fucked and i dont know what to say na na na na ya ya na ya na ya ya ya na na na na na na ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya na na na

>>10180085
>>I met a girl in passing just a few days ago
>>already think l can't live without her
>>10180031

Its not impossible that she is his soul mate, that she is his one, and they will marry and live happily ever after, its not impossible they will date for 1 or 2 or 5 or 6 or 3 years or weeks or months and be a mixture of happy and/or sad.

>>10175848
Shit mate, that’s fucked. I hope he gets it all in order. Mine luckily did, but I still have an odd relationship with him. Visited him yesterday. Bi-polar family members are something I wouldn’t want to wish on anyone.

/lit/ died last week

>>10179914
My God, man, you sound insufferable. Get out of your own ass for once.

I don't want to go to uni today.

>>10179914
You will fail as a writer because nobody wants to read your bullshit.

>>10178963

Yeah

>>10179787
Severe malpractice.

>>10180116
So in case anyone is still here nothing happened, as expected. I did some stuff and loitered around town. Ehh. Thanks for reading my blog, everyone. I now know I have a readerbase here so I'll probably stick around. The only board better than /lit/ is /po/ and they are the most autistic so I suppose you win

>>10181225
We're not your readerbase.

Don't come at me hat in hand with that patron shit you pencil dick blogfag

>>10175815
Get bottles and keep them in your room

>>10175902

Nobody enjoys anything.

>>10181538
Speak for yourself, b u d d y b o y

>>10181225
did you try to call her? Did you make plans prior to meet her?

I've noticed that every morning where I wake up feeling shitty the weather outside is also crummy. Additionally, I've noticed that every feelbad morning follows a night of pot smoking. In conclusion, I think my marijuana habits are controlling the weather.

>>10175810
I'm in a great relationship, except my girlfriend has almost no sex drive. We've been together for over a year and a half.

Unsure if I want to break up with her.

>>10175810
I'm thinking about how I'm going to transport my pet shrimp to my new apartment. Caring for my pet shrimp is probably the only thing that makes my life worth living, and I'm worried that if so much as one of them dies in transit, I'll experience greater grief than I did when my grandma died. I should probably be posting this on /an/, but if I have to worry about my pet shrimp, so do you.

>>10181727
Wow sounds rough champ

>>10181727
Give me your gf, faggot. I'm asexual and have never met a girl with a low enough sex drive for me in my life.

I'm just re-reading the first half of my novel after letting it sit some time and the feels are like a gut-punch.
Yeah obviously they affect me more as I understand the emotions I was trying to communicate, having felt the exact ones before.
It needs a lot of work still but this is reassuringly good.

I should have went with the raspberry jam on my toast instead of grape, or at least mixed them

>>10181696
No

>>10179883
am I really that bad?

>>10175810
I think studying linguistics is the right choice for me. I guess. I really hope it is.

>>10182487
Linguistics is easily one of the most interesting studies someone can undertake, I say go for it anon.

>>10179795
>I had a friend at an ivy double-major in neuro and comp lit, co-taught with their philosophy chair and is now in a med program.
How the fuck did he do that?

>>10182425
Yes.

>>10181727
Is it a great relationship if you are sexually incompatible? Do you want more sex than she wants to provide? Then break up. If you're already writing it out loud you're already doomed desu.

>>10180793
How'd that happen?

>>10181110
How'd that happen?

>>10179748
Complete and utter narcissism.
>taking a fucking MFA in english
>feels the need to identity a microcosm in order to categorize it and discard it because it doesn't rise to your own arbitrary standards
>literally bragging about his profs liking him
>lack of integrity, the antagonism as a result of personal shortcomings
>HURRR WHY DO YOU HAVE AN EGO HURR WATCH ME STROKE MINE WHILE I SAY I DON'T HAVE ONE HURRR

Grow up, faggot.

t. someone who's been published five times(certified literary magazines, prizes with big judges) didn't take a BS MFA, and is probably younger than you.

Good luck on your novels, you fucking Pynchon wannabe.

>>10179782
Stop hating yourself, and get over being able to like the things you like and talk about them, without bringing yourself into the mix.

>>10182508
Thank you. Have you yourself studied linguistics or is it just your impression?
No one around me knows anything about this area, so I get zero advice. It's weird.
But at at least I can tell I like the curriculum.

>>10182841
Yikes, lmao

>>10182962
Linguistics gets a lot of shilling around here and /adv/. It has a lot of research potential and it's interesting as fuck, so you will probably won't struggle to find a job. There are also lots of specialization ground to aim for. It's a profession in which you will live on the academia and the academia isn't always pretty (lots of shitty people).

>>10182972
i'm just sick of you cunts coming on here and bitching about how lonely and misunderstood you all are. you probably never bother to talk to anyone who you deem "retarded." you only hear things in passing or on social media. do you go around constantly talking about Kant or making posts about DFW on FB all the time, hoping that someone who you deem commendable will overhear and like you? Should people be doing that constantly?

>>10182718
Hmm, you sound a teensy resentful for whatever reason. I've given it some thought, I can't in good faith take your feedback in earnest. Godspeed brother.

>>10183042
I post about DFW pretty often on my FB page, and all my close friends totally get it. Everyone else clearly can't comprehend the subtlety of my social media presence, which is perfect, because it henceforth become instrumentation for filtering out the knaves.

Not sure what your panties are so wadded up about, but I think you should consider reading it off bro. Just read it off.

>>10183063
I dont know if this is really 'you', mfa guy, but what is some of the general idea of your writing, the more interesting important novel you are writing, what are you trying to get out of it, whats it about, what is your purpose in writing, what are you trying to say, to whom?

>>10182972
Naw that dude deserved it

>>10175810
I'm in a bad mood I think because I haven't been eating properly and I'm annoyed at all my friends being late to things all the time when really something like that doesn't matter at all. Last night I had a dream where I was in bed with my current partner and my ex partner and my ex partner started freaking out saying things like "yes you're with the right person but where am I meant to be?" And jumped out my window, when I followed them out of there it just led into various other rooms in my house and I chased them trying to calm/comfort them for so long that my current partner yelled to tell me they were going and I remember being really sad about all of it but I think it was my brain telling me to stop looking at my ex's Instagram page and be grateful for who I'm with now!
My co-workers are all talking about video games and eating with their mouths open and I can't concentrate on anything today

>>10179748
Your diction is poor. Your grammar is just awful.

I don't usually post on this board, despite it being the reason I READ NOW, but I'm both worried for this board's culture(,) as well as my own becoming a writer. It's maybe(POOR CHOICE, PROBABLY IS BETTER CADENCE) inappropriate to draw parallels, but (FALLBACK WORD and STRUCTURE) I feel it conducive to pressuring myself.

I've begun an MFA program(,) and they're fully covering me, despite so(notneeded) many others going into debt to attend. It's a a(wtf) greater weight than I thought possible, because(awkward) I am still so young and unsure of why I'm creating these worlds. My professors are proud of me, recommend me to others,(splice, use semi-colon or fix structure) but I see on this board what might so easily become my own story.

I really loathe what's become of many threads here,(awkward, consider list) the /pol/lacks who clearly haven't read, the pursuit of meme literature, the lack of integrity, the antagonism as a result of personal shortcomings; all things correlated to my own dealings with other writing students. I(hurr) revolted by this retardation(run-on, not applicable to stylistic choice) and yet horrified by the possibility(herro) I too belong to something less than what I'm striving for. I don't want to sit around discussing books and culture in a posture,(splice) I want to lay intimately with words and(run-on) yet I see the potential to fail every day in those incapable students amassing debt. I have no choice but to consume more writing, break my voice until it strengthens into something my own more and more. (just a shitty sentence, good lord.)

I hope I can return to /lit/ after my first book and tell people how little I posted or agreed with others here, that honesty and love are all that matter. I really hope I can return one day to say that truthfully. (listen to this is water for the first time?)

you're a fucking idiot. is your name noah?

>>10183042
Not even that guy, bro. I was just commending you on you response to that asswipes post. *golfclap* I honestly thought he was baiting cause he said he was legitimately hurt about the fact that some /pol/ users made there way onto this board. But as time went on, I could tell he was some insecure academic who felt he could find solace here, but alas, we're all jaded neets edging the rim of nihilism and contempt, and he's a "serious writer" who beneath the thin veneer of irony, truly, madly, deeply wants to "connect" kek

>>10181783
I love you for loving those shrimp. Do what you have to do.

>>10181783
Godspeed anon.

>>10181783
I've had shrimp for fives years now. How about you?

>>10181727
>cliche incoming

meaningful relationships are more than physical anon. speaking as someone that threw away an incredible person because of sex, you will not be happy. look within her and you will find something more permanent than the physical.

>>10183132

Simple: to be truly great.

>>10181783
>>10183283
>>10183310

There's something incredibly important and meaningful happening here, I just can't totally place my finger on it. I feel that these few interactions represent so much more than spontaneous sympathy for shrimp, but that maybe, just maybe, we're all looking for that thing we care so solely for in life that make even grandma seem meaningless by comparison. Looking for that little something, no matter how obscure or modest or seemingly trivial it might be, that, by way of love and attention, can finally give us as individuals the sense of meaning and purpose we so deeply long for. And because life and culture and the communities we engage with constantly barrage us with such grand expectations, we convince ourselves that our goals must be gargantuan and larger-than-life when really, deep down, we know that it doesn't matter what it is—it could be shrimp, it could be donuts—all that matters is that we pour ourselves into it, and in doing so, receive the bounty of gratification and happiness in return. And from our peers too, we receive respect.

That being said, I wish your shrimp safe transit my friend. Never abandon your love.

>>10183416
any more specifics, can you compare your styles to anyone? Who are your favorites writers and books?

>>10183457
I thought there was a 46% chance the shrimp post was a joke

>>10183457
Why does it have to be only one thing? Why can't it be everything and everyone?

>>10183457
You wouldn't guess it to look at him, but the gruff Andy Sipowicz shows a gentle side with his fish. [WRITING TIP]

>>10183542
Honestly, I only read my own work.

>>10183606
I M P O S T E R
G
A
D

>>10183549
I don't really think it matters if it was a joke, just like I don't think it matters Ahab or Superman or Hamlet are real. They're better than real; they're ideal. And I mean this in both senses of the word. They're something to strive for, or work against—either way, they mark a meridian on the map of life to travel against. Running in parallel causes worlds to collide into mediocrity. No one sincerely wants that.

>>10183557
Because you can only truly devote all of yourself to one thing and one thing only at any given moment. I don't mean to say multiple life pursuits can't be feasibly brought to fruition—the polymaths of time immediately prove that. But I do mean to encourage, in this era of rampant renaissance dilettantism, that one should transfix themselves entirely in the present moment in whatever it is he or she is doing. Half measures avail us nothing. Multitasking is for the cephalopods. You can only inject all your elan vital into one thing at a time, and once having done so, once having chauffeured your shrimp across the tempestuous transatlantic channel of early adulthood and yon, then the next thing will present itself like a ripe dowry tagged whore at your doorstep, fresh for picking, eating, planting, reaping, sowing, and loving all over again.

>>10183563
I believe it. Hitler loved his German Shepherds, or so they say.

>>10183622
Yes, I'm poster.

Also, it's spelled *egad, unless you're referring to the Intergovernmental Authority on Development, which wouldn't really make sense in this context.

One of my best friends, and up to know one of the only stable people in my life, has announced that he thinks he is a burden and a total failure in life; an unattractive and incompetent waste with nobody outside of family who cares about him at all.
None of this is true, and the depressing nature of it is made worse by my ever-shrinking pool of sane and level-headed friends.

>>10183643
*Now
This is why I hate posting on mobile, my phone fucks everything up.

i've started menstruating for the third time this month and I don't know what to do I dong have health insurance but at the same time can't afford a doctor and I'm starting to really worry about it.

>>10182813
Malpractice via shitty psychiatrist because it's a fucking pseudoscience that nobody anywhere understands. Spent 3 years in acute withdrawal skirting death.

I should not exist but somehow I still do.

>>10183681

>3 years
>acute

what did he/you mean by this?

>>10183636
are you the mfa anon? want to edit my novel, you can add as much as your own soul to it as you want? (assuming it is possible for the potential of my novel to be better than yours)(assuming you dont believe in not believing in better)

>>10183714
You heard me.

I fucking hate being a girl. I fucking hate being harrased on the streets by these young and even old people. I hate it. Can I walk without hiding myself? Why the fuck I'm always hiding? I'm afraid. Why am I so shy.I should not be afraid but I am. I try to hide my body because of this. even like that, comments still there. I just want to walk alone and enjoy the sunny days.

>>10183752
I want to cum inside of you.

I am deeply concerned with virtue and authenticity but I cannot tell if this is a philosophical problem of I have Borderline or Narcissistic personality disorder.

>>10183752
Don't worry, you'll be old and/or fat soon and nobody will pay attention to you. Then you can walk the streets like a ghost, invisible, like me.

>>10183752
>>10183752
I want you to take a piss and then pull my head by the hair between your legs while you're still sitting on the toilet and make me lick you clean. I love reading books and learning new things about the world. I'm almost 44 years old and I'm sick with diseases. I want to know everything about you. I want to sit on the bed and watch you get dressed in the morning. I want you to telephone me from the car and tell me to make sure you turned off the curling iron. Please give me your name.

I'm seeing a girl who is 9 years older than me. She's a modelling photographer. I'm an aspiring musician. Things are developing nicely, but it often feels like I'm forcing it. I'm happy when other people know that we are together. I'm happy other people know that we've been making out. But when I'm by myself, I ultimately feel nothing. It feels like I'm only doing it because I want to fix her, she's insecure and I want to change her. My biggest goal is to have her land me in the modelling field with her experience and connections. I don't feel guilty, but I do feel uncomfortable or shameful. I question why I do anything at all. What am I trying to prove? And is it proof for myself, or those around me? What do I really want other than to be able to express myself? And how long will it take before I feel like she is nothing more than a burden?

>>10183752
/lit/'s being mean today. I feel bad for girls, and I love them, beautiful things

>>10183752
Katie is that you? Please put your 19th century lit YouTube channel back up, I promise we'll be nice this time.

gonna make garlic mashed potatoes with chopped bacon in it tomorrow, im effing psyched desu

>>10183730
I believe in believing in better, therefore I'll edit your opus. Though, while not the MFAnon, I am a master of fine arts.

>>10183929
some purely curious innocent questions:
How long have you been writing?

How often do you write?

Favorite writers and books?

Do you like prose, poetry, philosophy? Are you interested in politics?

What do you think of more 'experimental' writing?

How old are you?

Have you ever tried/succeed writing a finished cohesive work?

>>10183854
You're a piece of shit.

Is it possible to fall in love with themself?

Holy Shit, I just realised that these threads are pretty damn cool.

I want to write a poem about the fall of western civilization.

Unbeknownst to all, we belong to Bugs.

The great cosmic aggregator we think we can mock.

Bugs couldn’t care less of our impudence, him knowing the ultimate truth, us being slowly consumed among salad leaves.

>>10184452
How deep does the rabbithole go?

>>10184690

>>10175810
Yesterday the girl i like admitted she liked me and we made out. Read a few aphorisms from The Gay Science this morning. Feel absolutely fantastic

>>10185029
yeah sure über yoü, but in the end, don't forget you belong to bugs like the rest of us

>>10181574

Nobody enjoys anything. Enjoyment is performance for an other under the assumption that one is wrong and in the minority for not enjoying the thing itself. Performance to signal one's allegiance to Society and the Phenomenal world in the hopes that one will eventually be corrected or that Society will eventually produce a single thing that is good in and of itself. Everyone knows this. The same things from which enjoyment allegedly emerges when done with an other are perversely purgatorial when done alone - the hobby, the project, the grind, etc.

Look the other way.

>>10182813

I got expelled from college for complications resulting from mental illness.

>>10181783
>>10183310
>>10183457
>>10183320
Thank you, anons. It truly means a lot to me.

>>10183549
You think I'm joking? Why would I joke about my shrimp?

>>10185301
do you ever eat shrimp?

>>10185472
I do. But obviously not this type.

>>10183632
>Because you can only truly devote all of yourself to one thing and one thing only at any given moment.
That "one thing" can't be everything? If we say that I devote myself to every living being without prejudices then in devoting to everything I'm only devoting myself to one thing.

If I owned land I would grow food
Just to not stand in a line ever again

>>10184975
Dig that drawing

>>10179741
Flow rate/time nigga

I have very few memories tbqhqhwyf

Fuk u demiurge

>>10184452
>>10184975
There is a convergence between these two.

I just turned twenty last week. I am determined to lose my virginity before 21. I'm pretty average looking, maybe slightly above. I look the best I have in my entire life. I'm not that socially awkward, I have some friends, I'm just shit at meeting new people. I worked out some over the summer and have seen improvements, been slacking lately but I'm about to start boxing soon to stay in shape. There's a girl in my film class who I went to high school with. I didn't really know her as she was pretty popular while I hung out with mostly the stoners. She's very friendly. Very social. Early in the semester she tried to start a convo with me, asking what I do, what are my hobbies and such. I must have given an anxious air because she asked if she intimidates me. I started to say no, but then I hesitated for a little too long and just "no" then chuckled because I had essentially said yes. She paused for a moment then said "I like you". The next week we were supposed to watch a movie outside of class and her and a couple other people (including me) went over to one of their houses and watched it. It went well. The next week on a Saturday night she texted me asking if I had any plans. I was with this other chick working on a project, smoking pot at the time. I said no, ditched the chick and she picked me up at around 11:30 pm and took me to go eat something. she didn't even eat anything. we just drove around talking, her doing most of the talking, about high school. she dropped me off at 1 am, said see you in class. we've been working on group projects in class so I haven't seen much of her. I texted her causally about the project once since then and the next day she texted me happy birthday when she saw it was my b-day on snapchat. saw her today in class but wee didn't talk because there wasn't much chance to. what does it all mean, anons tell me.

>>10185974
It means you have the opportunity to rock her world (maybe if you play your cards right) if you stop being a retarded idiotic lame boring shifty weird twerpy loser. Its possible she likes some of your awkward girly frightened qualities. Its possibily she after popularity is now abit lonely with not alot of people she knows so gravitated towards you, its possible you can have a real friendship (whatever that means and however thats possible for however long with a female), its pretty awesome you drove around and hung with her at all.

It definitely seems she was flirting with you, there was at least one possibly more signs that she did not view you as purely platonic, like a gay boy friend? You have to finesse the line between going to fast, testing waters, seeing what she thinks of going to fast, observing and studying and determining her feelings and moods and moves, and failing to make a move when she is into it if it seems she could potentially move on from you and get bored...

and/or shes friends with other guys and fucking some of them.... or she has no desire to move on from you any time soon or at all. Depends how serious your relation can be, how friendly, how worthy, what can come from it,,, just physical comfort, are your conversations good, does she smoke weed?

Her mostly doing the talking about high school, what about, she was just rambling on? What are some of the things she said? Is she interesting at all? Is she a bimbo dullard? Is she a basic bitch? Is she a slut? is she generally happy, generally sad? Is she a normie? How many boyfriends did she have in highschool? Her 'do I intimidate you' line is straight out of a highschool movie.. I know im the popular girl and your the loser so you should be intimidated. Its possible she is your soul mate and you will get married.

>>10185974
>>10186029
Its possible you will date for a few weeks or months or years, its possible you will be friends for months, years, or life time (with benefits or not), its possible you will have fun rowdy romps of times, partying.

As for what you should do, play it cool. Do you just view her as a virginity losing candidate? Do you view her as a cool person, a friend, that you want to spend time with? How long do you want to interact with her? How many times do you want to make out with her? Would you fall in love? Would you marry her? Could she easily get other guys? ___/10?

>>10186029
The thing is that she's an extremely social person, while I'm not. She does smoke weed. she was pretty wild in highschool. she mostly talked about how shitty school was for her. She hung out with the mean girls type crowd and she talked about the bullying she received. She had one boyfriend for most of highschool, she says he's a dick. She is very interesting, very extroverted and outgoing, I wish I could be more like her in that regard. we talked about going to a haunted house at the end of the month, so that might happen. My order of phenibut is coming in soon, it makes me confident and suave, funny and social. I can use it as a tool.

>>10186051
she's out of my league desu. 8-9/10. I like her, I really do she's an awesome person. If nothing romantic happens I'd love to be friends with her. I couldn't really see myself dating her though, our personalities are pretty different.

i dont know anything

>>10185974
>>10186069
Not swing into /r9k/ but I was in a similar situation last year at 20 and ghosted on the girl because I've never been intimate with someone and I figured it would be awkward. I'll be 22 soon and still pretty much kv, it bothers me but I don't actually care, I don't know

>>10185093
Hahahaha, nice one, Punchy

>>10186069
>>10186080
dont know if I ever heard of this: "Phenibut, sold under the brand names Anvifen, Fenibut, and Noofen among others, is a central nervous system depressant with anxiolytic and sedative effects which is used in Russia, Ukraine, and Latvia"

Cool, try to be good friends with her. Take it slow then. You will know if she wants you. If you want that, then just be clean, and not doofy, maybe one false move can ruin your chances, like if you nasty fart in her car or have some booger on your lip or laugh grotesquely, but dont let that scare you.

Well keep us updated. What are you studying in school, what is she? Do you have similar interests at all? Does she like literature, do you? What is she into? So she was venting to you about highschool, maybe letting you know 'maybe you thought I was a mean girl bitch, but actually im not and wasnt', so thats cool, but it seems like you guys can have a genuine friendship and caring connection. At least humane interaction

>>10175848
Maybe learn what Kafkaesque actually means retard

>>10179673
Erasing those notes will make you a better writer, anon.
Don't be a pussy.
Do it.

>>10186110
we are going to community college. we're just doing our basics. I'm not sure what she's studying to be, she probably told me but I was probably high and can't recall. Honestly I don't know too much about her interests. She said she reads but I don't know what. Don't its the same stuff I do. we talked a lot that night but I can't remember if she mentioned any interests. I think she might have said she wants to be a flight attendant? That could have been someone else. Do you even need a degree for that?

>>10186110
and I have no idea what I want to do with my life

>>10186097
good luck anon

>>10186126
Was an ode to it's overuse, it's a bit of a meme, in fact even trying to define is pretty stupid

>>10179673
dont listen to this bitter wicked person >>10186128 who is so disappointed in their own lack of writing output wants you to destroy yours

>>10186150
how is the girl you were working on group project you ditched? Could she have been better choice to pursue in the long run?

>>10186194
She's cool and all but I'm not that interested in her plus she has a bf

>>10186186
>bitter wicked person
not at all true, my guy
>lack of writing output
Hasn't been a problem since I deleted the absurdly long notes page of my own.
>wants you to destroy your
I want him to move past the notes phase and experience the triumph of a finished product.

I want the same for you too, anon ;)

>>10186240
A writer should never delete any of their writings, never knowing what may come in handy when.

>>10185029
making out is disgusting
sex is natural
no animals besides humans have found it necessary or good to directly exchange saliva

ever go to a movie and you realize there is a kissing seen immanent? fuck the whole audience tightens up to prepare for that disgusting ASMR festival. Or ever see hear a couple making out on a bus behind you or something? Nothing to do with "envy" or whatever psychological shit, its just inherently disgusting.

>>10186240
The person may have been writing names, quotes, sayings they over heard from friends, parents, words, ideas, places, things, plot lines,

It is, I dont know about particularly bitter part, in this instance and context, wicked, to suggest someone to delete all that, you cannot have their best interest in heart and mind. You either do not know what you are talking about, or want to inflict damage. No ifs or ends, but a butt, about it.

>>10175810
I just want to be a contender. I want to be competition for the best. Not in the world, or in the country just even in my fucking class or something.
I put so much into trying to be a decent writer but I always produce mediocrity if its one of my best. I study Journalism (at level 3) so I cant fuck about being 10th or 11th I need to be the best in the class if I even want half a chance of getting employed. Some people in my class do their work last minute and get full marks, I spend hours every day just trying to be above decent and it hardly ever comes to that.
I dont even know why I try anymore, the enjoyment has been drained out of it.
I wish I would have been told that some people just arent good at writing.

>>10175810

I'm starting to get a sense that my initial paranoia to the evils and corruption of the world is due to their mysterious and very difficult to grasp nature. I think it's easy to blame the jews on everything, or blame capitalism, or human nature, or any linear concept. All of our hatred is fueled by our inability to understand very complex and invisible forces that only become more complex as more and more layers of experience and culture envelop over our lives, causing more and more knots of contradiction and confusion. I don't think a lack of education is our current reason why we are declining in intelligence and taste, but because our reality is compounding on our brains with so much information that most people choose to give out and escape, to become totally numb.

It seems there is less inherent conspiracy of corruption in the world, but rather a totally numb population engaging in games of cause and effect without the ability to truly self analyze. I believe in predestination in this aspect, that we our seemingly guided by forces of causation without true awareness of the forces around us.

>>10186466
>It seems there is less inherent conspiracy of corruption in the world
>but rather a totally numb population engaging in games of cause and effect without the ability to truly self analyze.
Mutually exclusive? What makes the former seem? If the latter were true, what would that necessarily have to do with forcing a 'seeming' that there is less inherent conspiracy of corruption?

In other words, lets say every average person was numb, oblivious, retarded, whatever: how does that, let you say, 'it seems' there is less inherent conspiracy of corruption?

There is right and wrong, there are people that do wrong. It is a matter of who would stop them, how, agreeing on right and wrong, and taking that agreement seriously.

>>10186685

There are still evil people, and they knowingly do things that are bad and don't care. Not denying that. But I think a majority of why bad things happen isn't due to a circle of people who are pure evil, but an entire culture just flowing with whatever situation they are in and what kind of person they are, which is due to a seemingly endless amount of difficult to grasp factors that at this point I doubt anybody can probably chop up and organize. There is so much fucking information to categorize and understand before we tackle any fundamental root problems of our society that would actually make a difference, it's just so much work and so many opinions and conflicting pieces of data and facts, the world feels like a giant tangled mess to me.

im just saying I used to blame all the corporations and evil jews and george soros and shit like that for why i thought the world was so soulless and depressing. And it brought me comfort knowing I had someone to point to so the world was so simple.

>>10186921
Whats wrong with/in the world? What could be done to right it? Thats what needs to be asked and answered.

Your answer for the first question is: Even if there were things wrong, bad people doing bad things, often enough to have you believe they should be attempted to be stopped, the average person cannot do anything about it?

>>10183935
6 years

everyday

kafka, bester, gaddis, mann

Yes to the first three—only in theory for the latter

I think, like all things experimental, that it can be done well, however is more often done quite drably. Higher risk, higher reward.

I'm the square root of 555

well of course, but published? not unless my highschool yearbook counts

>>10185643
we're getting semantical here i think. quite literally to devote yourself to everything would imply omnipresence, which i don't think you have. but if you mean each living being, one by one, and in terms of sentiment, rather than necessarily physically interactive love, then sure. in fact, i think it's the right thing to espouse, to love everything and everyone—so sure. but then again, i don't know much, so i'm no authority here

>>10186263
Kafka burned entire books.

>>10187163
cool would you email me? Are you working on anything currently? How passionate are you about writing, and how fairly do you think you can judge you talent and vision, taste, ability?

>>10187189
He was a fool for doing so, unless it was just "I hate my parents" written over and over and he was worried what people would think. This still has nothing to do with the fact a person just up and told another person without knowing anything really about them 'dude... bro... like, lmao, you should just delete all your writing and notes!! ayyy, dot it !! faggot!!!'

Either the books Kaftka burned, they did not have a single sentence of value, or they did, if the latter he was wrong. Maybe it was childhood writings, I have childhood writings I dont think I will ever look in, but maybe I could even find an idea, a line, a word, a concept in them that I could include into a later work of writing.

>>10187189
I just have a very strong aversion to the prospect of something novel, unique, valuable being destroyed and lost forever

>>10185301
Your and your shrimp are total qts anon.

>>10175810
Very often it hurts. It hurts because nobody knows of the burning world, these memories which cause physical pain upon their recollection. In a way it's alright, because now you are here, where everything is perfect. You should not be here, you have no business existing but somehow you do. The world had abandoned you, like an ugly child she did not want you and yet you are here. Your scars have made you beautiful. For that alone, she wants you back.
It's okay now, but it would be a little more okay, if you could find someone who knows what you are.
It would be a little more okay is you found that kindred spirit who was trapped on the other side of the earth, left behind when the whole world ended, all those years ago. Who knows? In your wandering you may have passed her by. In the neighboring valley of coals she could have limped right past you.

I'm still looking for you. I know you're out there, waiting to emerge from the lush green earth, just like I knew I'd make it though the fire. I cannot wait to meet you, to love you, to hold you in my arms and say "I know."

>>10186150
one thing at a time, my nigga

>>10187231
>>10187238
Maybe you have have problems with letting go. And maybe letting go—embracing the ephemeral—is a vital component in the makeup of a great writer. There's a reason Tibetan monks spend months placing grains of sand together into the pattern of a mandala only to wipe it away once completed. I don't fully know that reason, but I have an inkling that it's a salient one.

There's sapience in transience—after all, we're just human.

lol but for real i agree you should save old shit, just don't be an obsessive compulsive hoarder clutching at inert dust collectors

>>10187224
yeah man, just shoot me an email at fro169@yahoo.com (ignore the ridiculous name, it's my candlegrease email) we can continue talking there if you're interested

>>10187518
>candlegrease
whats that mean?

>>10185974
Smoking weed is for faggots dude.

I've gone through a kind of minor ego death that makes all my hobbies kind of dull. You know how people's internal beliefs differ due to personal experience and their own traits? And how, when you get down to it, taste is merely a matter of coincidence and not any considered or thoughtful judgment of art? It's these various thoughts, kind of like Buddhist-lite ideas, that slowly chip away at my spirit. One of my lamer habits is watching critics on youtube, because that sense of objectivity is wonderful.

I promise I'm not just trying to sound cool. Maybe it's because I'm depressed, but the sense that nothing I think or do really has any originality or impact is getting to me.

>>10175810
I've got three book ideas that I think are fairly awesome and I should buckle down so as to pick one to write. My latest book, a novelette, has been put on KDP Select with Kindle recently. It would appear someone reading it on Kindle Unlimited provides 62 KENP pages, which turns out to be 27 US cents if the value of KENP in September is retained for October. Over the next week and a half I'll be getting a little over $40 US for my royalties in August plus what I have written on Fiverr less than a week ago.

It might not sound like much, but considering I can and have for years written purely for free I think it's pretty fucking awesome that I'm making this kind of money. If someone makes $40-60 a month just for playing videogames or uploading Youtube videos or some other such thing that they genuinely enjoy, they'd be proud as can be, and rightly so! Not everyone can make at least SOME money by doing what they love.

I just graduated and I have fucking nothing but parental expectations
how many pull-ups do I need to do to impress the French foreign legion?

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

I've been trying to become better at writing for four years but there has been no improvement.

I want to die.

>>10188053
nuice

>>10188057
Post a sample

The Why is Starship Troopers Controversial thread disappeared while I was finishing my coffee. I sttempted to explain this,referring to the Raising a Puppy passage where the foiables of this politically correct madness we are experiencing are dissected with the metaphor of raising puppies. Tried,but failed. Phone posting is difficult and one odd buttonpress can wipe out minutes of work,and that happened at least 3 times. And I wonder if it will happen again as I write this.

these threads are the best on /lit/ these days

>>10186126
I think he used the term appropriately

>Drove an hour away from where I live to town I grew up in to visit great grandmother's grave
>Rainy day
>Radio off
>quit job a couple months ago and have been struggling with what to do with myself
>remembered being at that cemetery as a kid
>decide to visit my childhood home
>it's the last farmhouse at the end of a dead end road
>we use to rent out part of it because poorfags
>look like someone bought it
>in awe of its shape, the shape of the lawn, the aspect of everything was off and warped in comparison to my memory
>turn around in my old drveway
.two fake geese(?)
>they start squawking
>one comes alive and runs at my car with its mouth open
>I back away trying not to hit it
>whole time there is large orange vintage looking toy car on the lawn that is weirdly out of place. some kind of rich kid toy. the geese(?) were probably special ordered as well
>drive home feeling like camus.jpg
>23 years old and am probably jus gonna kill muhshelf someday
>don't see a point in any of this
>geese(?) and toy cars

>>10188254
Beautiful

It's starting to snow.

Order can be found as a subset of chaos. Does this mean the universe is actually just chaos? Furthermore can there be chaos within order somehow.

need to write 7 pages about this

>>10187526
it means unprofessional, ad hoc, low-risk, don't care if it gets slammed with spam—idk, I just made it up but it sounded right

F
Drinking in her deep blue eyes
Piercing me like icy knives
Looking for a heart to sunder
But then my own starts to wonder
Her own mind starts to wander
Thinking of my person fonder
Words from her come often
Her lack of love is my coffin

>>10187908
>taste is merely a matter of coincidence and not any considered or thoughtful judgment of art?
not entirely true. Imagine every painter in the world, the were only painters in the world, there were only painters in the world who took blueberries, rasberries, and blackberries, and smooshed them in different ways on paper, and then one day leonardo davinci was born.

>>10188409
Yay!/dang

>>10188435
define order

Feelings that I have
Ultimately I feel it in my
Cock when you
Kiss my lips

You have the
Order to do so
Unlimited pleasure

barbican
gallipots
simples
mystes
badelaire

And so it begins.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

>>10188409
>>10188772
>tfw the child in you is excited for the coming snowstorms but the homeowner you actually are dreads it

Modern life is shit.

>>10175810
>write what's on your mind
I've never cared about money or anything material, even if I had a bunch of money I wouldn't know what to do with it
my father gave me thousands of dollars in a bank account he opened for me and I told him to take it back and buy himself something nice - not just because I feel guilty for being a weight, failure, embarassment and a disappointment for my whole family, but because I genuinely can't think of anything to do with the money
I go to the best and most prestigious college in my country and probably the region, have an upper middle class background and a highly supportive family, am known by a lot of people, have really cool friends, opportunity to do whatever the fuck I want, enviable intelligence and erudition - a life most can only dream of, yet im down in the dumps, can't remember the time i was genuinely happy, never go out and have no desire to, never engage in social occasions, nervous whenever with any people, grown to resent my closest friends, nervous and sad at everything I see around me
only dreams and desires I've ever had are practically unreachable to me and I drag myself from day to day, waiting for this all to end and hoping that God will be merciful when he judges me

i hate modernities' obsession with novelty and neuroticism, i feel like i dont vibe with most modern writers or artists at all. i just want old fashioned drama and beauty damnit.

>>10188760
wat

>>10182591
Autism and he doesn't waste his time on 4chan

>>10186280
are you me?

>>10175810
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQxAicDlTJs

>>10188827
>taste is merely a matter of coincidence and not any considered or thoughtful judgment of art

I was trying to disagree with that statement. That taste is not merely, such. To an extent it is coincidental (what time period you are born in, but now we are born in a time where we can look back on all the past time periods and possible tastes, and there has been a hefty amount of looking into the future and imagining what possible tastes there might be)

Someone can have bad taste in art, or just lesser. Is taste democratic? Is taste only purely each individual basis is as worthy as any other individuals taste? Some people eat poop.

Cigarettes, kebab and beer. Or a pizza or I could get a chicken burger but I need to save my money as it's Dad's birthday soon and I need to pay the florist. I could just buy the cigarettes and a few cans or a bottle that'd be a cheap night in. If I didn't do any of this and stuck to my beans and broccoli and black coffee I may well reduce my risk of cancer and would also get through the month with a few more dollars to my name but it's such a lovely evening. It'd be good to go out. Perhaps I shouldn't waste evenings like this staying in?

I'll wait for the washing to finish.

Then see what to do.

>>10188827
>>10187908
>>10189050
Or, the original poster I was responding to, was more about, they can study all the finest art and know all about it the highest tastes, but people still like 'lesser' stuff, and dont care about the 'better', like a chef can spend 8 years going to school and working in the finest kitchens and the artsiest dishes and ingredients and know all the science behind pairing and 1000s of ingredients and spices, but people still eat fast food, and they can maybe enjoy it and still live a decent life?

Whats the point in cultivating a variety of tastes, or to think you have 'better' tastes, when there is such a variety, and someone with 'simpler and easier tastes' can live and enjoy their life all the same.

You may say, well if they eat alot of fast food and then get sick because of bad diet, this will be my triumph, this is nature congratulating and rewarding my good tastes, and the person who likes distasteful art will not in their life experience the possible highs and experiences I do with my tastes:
yea, but I can get pretty high off of fast food, it tastes realllly good.

What is the use of having ''''good, high, tastes'''' if there is no anchoring, ground, to brag above others and say, see my tastes are better than yours, and that makes me better than you, because x y and z. Is the only theoretical value of seeking to have 'better' taste, bragging rights, vanity, if a person can gain the same amount of pleasure eating shit or looking at shit smeared on paper as someone can get eating the finest foods and going to the finest museums of classic art.

Athens did nothing wrong.

>>10189134
>need to pay the florist.
is there not somewhere you can pick flowers?

all I want is a day between me and tomorrow

>>10189188
I've ordered them haven't I? They are exotic.

The snow is dancing like specks of dust in the cold breeze, tiny white aberrations in the grey static of an October sky
The snow danced toward the ground in little specks of frozen dust, tiny white aberrations in the grey static of an October sky
The snow fell in tiny white specks, dancing downward from the static grey sky

My name is Mindy, my day has been windy

Daydreaming is my anchor to contentment. I'm at my happiest when I daydream. Is it sad? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Don't we all daydream, in a way, whenever we do anything? Our actions are imbued with dreams of things they will never become - not in this life, at least. In all we do, we're dreaming of an ideal. I got the thought from this post - >>10185093 - I think parts of it correspond rather well to my meaning, even if the context is entirely different.

My mood rhymes with Angel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiK2JlBpzvI

I feel like I'm living in a dream - not in the emotional, happy sense; rather, everything feels dreamlike, even, and especially, the mundanity of life. Sometimes I feel as if I've been in that moment of time already - deja vu, no, not quite, but something like it. I thought as much a few days ago - "I've been here already" - during an otherwise unremarkable encounter in the evening. Is it sleep deprivation, adding together, little by little, to muddle my mind? I haven't lost all that much sleep, not a single night in full. Must have accumulated
If my mind is unclear, I don't want it to clear again

My name is Jack and this evening is wack

I've never needed drugs to be high
I'm so out of reach it hurts, he blurts out a line

steel drums, machine learning

at sundown
I frequently frown
less meandering, more
bloodcurdling screams
if only David Lynch were to
direct my dreams

Tiny white dust parting the static of a grey sky

Now you've done it

has a girl ever been too tight for him to open her up?

iečiepsti pudelē

>>10175920
fuck this is literally me

"So when we model our Sun and the nearest star to us, we have two specks of dust, each 1/100inch in diameter, four and a half miles apart from one another."

like a gigantic
gong

>>10180092
>Love is common as mailboxes
ahahahah

>>10183021
Thanks again.
>a profession in which you will live on the academia
Sounds perfect to me.

>>10187928
It's a good start. And I think you've got the right idea in terms of generating income.

So keep writing, and keep publishing to kindle, and pretty soon you'll be making a nice supplemental income; maybe eventually enough to live on.

Stranger things have happened. Good luck

>>10189936
Thanks a lot, I'll continue to self-publish my own stuff, ghostwrite for others when able (though I've had to turn a couple people down due to it being so different to the point I fear I'm incapable of it), and also simply write custom stories for people's enjoyment. Recently got paid for a custom piece of erotica for someone who didn't buy the commercial rights and in the description it says if they're not bought then I retain them. All the same I asked if the buyer was ok with me going ahead with publication, they were, so I effectively got paid to write something that ended up becoming my latest book which I'm already starting to make a little bit more money from so that's pretty bitchin'.

Gotta say, I'm feeling pretty happy with how my life is going thus far, it's taken a pleasant turn. Things are still difficult, but I'm happy, and I think that says a lot. Even got a couple dates lined up over the next week or so. Some chicks really dig a guy who can write and even make some money from it, but I'm in it for the long run. Let the months go by, the years, the decades, I'll continue to write, to learn, to improve, and as far as I'm concerned it's purely inevitable that I will make a living from my writing in time. Yes, through self-publishing, but I also think that in time I'll write something good enough to get the attention of an agent. For the time being though, I'm just enjoying the journey. I mean, I'm consistently making $50-100 a month for quite some time now, that's $600-1200 a year. Who's going to pass that up when it's just for doing something they love, for doing something they'd happily do for free!

OP here. I have made almost zero progress. Thank you 4chan you faggot anons.

>>10190103
Here's your pitch:

"I've been an OP on 4chan so obviously I'm extremely good at sucking cock, can I write for you now? I might even let you do butt stuff."

Manopubbaṅgammā dhammā
Manoseṭṭhā manomayā
Manasā ce paduṭṭhena
Bhāsati vā karoti vā
Tato naṃ dukkham anveti
Cakkaṃ va vahato padaṃ

One verse at a time.

Coffee tasted bitter, felt like I'm on an infernal loop in time, lazily spending my days in complete stagnant. Pungent armpits. disgusting environment mixed with spilled alcohol, and leftover ashes from cigarettes.