/lit/ - Literature

> let’s stay shackled to this insignificant dot caught in a sunbeam
Cringe, I want humanity to conquer the very stars and expand to craft and tailor this galaxy into a new eden, where upon we can experience life that can be unrestricted by the limits of the land we stand upon

The idea of having sex is completely incomprehensible to me. I understand how it works mechanically obviously but I can't imagine the series of events that would have to occur for me to actually do it. Like even if I miraculously started going on dates with a girl I don't think I could possible manage to go beyond kissing her (and even that's hard for me to picture). It blows my mind that almost everyone I know, from my weird geek acquaintances to my friends to my coworkers to randoms on the train all have sex. While my virginity itself doesn't bother me that much it does feel like I'm separated from the rest of the world at times, like there's this huge facet of life that's just missing in me.

>>14022162
Dante is a mid-tier fanfic writer with a skewed Catholic perspective. He was pretty based with his criticism of the major religious head of his time, that was really it.

>he's in good health, materially well off, and lives in a safe, stable country
>he still chooses to waste his one and only life being depressed and looking for "answers" in old books
why do you guys do this?

Close enough.

How do I decide what to do after college if years of suicidal depression have beaten every hope and dream out of my body? I have no drive, no motivation to achieve anything. Some degree of comfort is all I much value anymore. I have some hobbies but I'm not dedicated to them to a degree that would give my life some structure or direction (ie, "I want to be a novelist so I will focus on writing", "I want to be really fucking strong so I'll dedicate myself to lifting", etc). I have no friends or gf or anything like that. University is the only thing providing me with any kind of structure and I'm scared about losing it. I'd rather not become a neet, at least not without trying to live first.

Should I just try to get a decent job and give living a go? I've already tried foreign travel which did help a lot with finally lifting myself out of depression (I mean I'm still melancholy and lonely but I don't think about killing myself all the time anymore) but it didn't exactly inspire a new sort of outlook or anything.

I can feel happy in my life, but only if I take it in isolation. As soon as I compare it to either the future (which for me seems to be moderate material success but permanent loneliness and alienation) or the past (which for me is high school or the start of college, when I had friends and a community and hopes of love and stuff) I become very depressed and feel like curling into a ball and dying. If I can keep my mind off it, I can be content drinking my coffee and reading a book and shitposting and looking at the winter landscape out my window. But it's hard to live so completely in the moment, and any time, for example, I see a group of friends walking down my street on a friday night I lose it and get sad again. Going home to visit my parents is the worst in this regard, I can't focus on the present as I walk along the streets of my past, bump into people I used to be friends with, etc.

Books for this feel?

I was going to go walk around the run down part of town and do some photography, but it's raining so I guess I'll stay in instead.

>>11867599
Fast pass in amusement parks

I'm somewhat drunk and listening to music, a banger came on and I stood up and started dancing like a madman until a headbob dislodged by headphones and made the music stop.

I wish that the music would never stop

>>11714908
based

>>11687411
I had an almost identical experience. Series of "I'm busy" excuses followed by silence and disconnection. I reacted in almost the exact same way. You aren't alone, my guy.