/lit/ - Literature

I'm now on 2 medications for major depressive disorder and my therapist hasn't mentioned that I've been diagnosed with it. It just keeps getting worse. It's strange in society now we have so much awareness about it now but when it comes down to it no one cares. It's like drowning in a river and everyone is saying "You can do it! Don't give up!" and all you want is real help.

Man my own mum doesn't want to see me anymore, it makes her depressed. The worst part is that I am trying. i exercise, read, learning another language. Maybe I could be more social but socialising at uni just means getting drunk and chasing thots.

That brings me on to my next point. I even feel disconnected from 4 chan now. I see so many people wanting intimacy or a girlfriend, yet I've never really wanted that. i got a girlfriend just to say I had a girlfriend. This constant need to be around someone isn't present in me anymore.

I really have no idea where to go anymore. I told my mum I wanted to die when I was TEN. Fucking ten. I only remember seeing a therapist heaps back then and teachers were super nice to me. But now it's over a decade later and I'm still the same. I had some fun through the years but it was so fleeting that it hardly seems worth it. 50% of my life has been wanting to die now. The idea of being 40 or working for decades is unimaginable.

also if anyone has tips for sleeping do share

>>4914498

Being retarded is fine, but there is nothing worse than a stubborn retard. Jesus Christ.