/lit/ - Literature

I can't seem to keep the contents and details of words and conversations in mind to form real conclusions or opinions on things, and just a general lack of ability to absorb and digest information from the premises around me. It makes me feel like a rudimentary machine of muscles and bones, a dull mind just acute enough to coordinate muscles but forever submerged in my own head never able to touch this elusive realm of the outside world and all of the things happening in it.

This goes for the world in general as well, I guess, but back to people. It's like there's an invisible wall between me and other people. It makes it hard to empathize with them clearly, predict them, reason with them. It's worst when at a bigger social gathering, it all gets really foggy. That's what people feel like to me, foggy. I can *see* and *hear* them talking to each other, but I just can't tap into it. And then the I forget all the things they've just said, and even if I remember some of it, it all feels like an overly complex equation to work out. Why is it so hard? I just seem like a dull and comatose person to other people in my experience. I wish I knew what was wrong. I don't want to be like this. I want to be smart enough for things bigger than perfunctory minimum wage existence. I'm even shut off from other comatose people like me.