/lit/ - Literature

Am I really hopeless if i haven't been able to apply any self control during the freest hours of my life? Am i doomed to remain a lesser being forever? It's ridiculous that i still dream of fulfillment when all ive consistently been is a pathetic joke. I had all the time and all the opportunities in the world to practice, expand myself, experiment and develop discipline, but i just stared at my ceiling for 5 years. Why not just pull the trigger at this point.