/lit/ - Literature

>>22525221
these words (brackets for context) are unnecesary
>word repetition "cigarette ~ cigarette"
>closer to himself
>finally (to never run out of cigs)
>(they killed Owens) Dean

premise is fun, I really like crimestuff, your characters are very characteristic and thats a good thing. I think you are onto something. I got immediately captivated by the first three sentences.

>>22525224
mostly grammatical errors (there'd lol) like punctuation and comas ("[...]and in a few years" is a horrible sentence)


overall a solid 7/10 as is, without any context!