/lit/ - Literature

>sunny day
>nothing to do
>will feel guilty if I say inside, like I'm wasting my youth
>feel guilty for driving about with nothing to do
>spent some time learning maths in my free time yesterday and it was fun but I feel guilty unless I work extremely hard but since I will work hard I may as well postpone it one more day, right?

I feel non-stop guilty no matter what I do. I'm missing out on something but I don't know what.

>main hobby for the past two years has been driving about, drinking coffee, browsing 4chan, feeling sad about life
>always drive through city centre
>sometimes went to library or cinema to feel less alone
>had zero social life for years

Society just feels so fradulent. As a male you are either Chad or you are seen as shit.

>driving around during a sunny day
>seeing all the qt from a nearby university
>knowing I never talked to anyone during university and they only go for Chads and are disgusted by everyone else
>find the idea of working hard in my 20s to get leftover women in my 30s a sick joke that is overoptimistic anyway

Life is suffering.

I can completely see that my outlook on life was unknowingly given to me by a dead economist who was given his own by a dead philosopher.

So where are the alternative ways of looking for at life? Religion, or even believing in philosophy's ability to give non-trivial insights, seems to be a safe space bubble for pseuds who either think they're intellectually above nihilism or they knowingly use it to help their feelings cope.

How do I have a hope of being successful if I'm so damn lazy? I did well at university (until my hate for the subject overwhelmed things) and school but I am so fucking lazy. I waste almost everyday on 4chan and hate work. I REALLY fucking hate actual work (not just learning programming or academic stuff). I'm an ugly autist as well.

I hate all "systems". Hearing someone talk about working smart / working hard / focusing on one thing / focusing on many things / having a balanced life / having an unbalanced life or, in short, any life advice at all, makes me want to go crazy. It's like asking to be wound up and put on autopilot for the rest of your life. Intelligence is supposed to surpass heuristics.

I see preparation in all its forms as dishonest and inauthentic. Preparing for job interviews (not by doing research, I do that, but by answering questions out loud) is like pulling teeth for me. I avoid it so much I practically avoid avoiding it. It just doesn't happen.

Notes from the Underground summed up my life. I haven't had my first full time job since university but I'm sure that my utter laziness is a way to violently lash out at constraints.

I want to have a life philosophy of "just have fun" or something like that but I also want to be successful and do impressive things.

Why is it that being an "intellectual" means you have to care a huge amount about politics, history, literature, and culture while reading and writing stupid, vague, fallacious articles and books about these topics that have laughably over defined and plain bullshitty theories and which are instantly forgotten even though they all aim to be a new Bible? Jesus fucking Christ, this is horrendous. And knowing absolutely nothing about science, maths, or anything practical is no hindrance at all.

I'm not annoyed that it exists. I'm annoyed and disappointed that so many allegedly smart people love worshiping this shit and claiming that you're an idiot if you don't worship harder than a religious person.

>>9175079
You're SO FUNNY!!
Please post more of these in here, this site is not 100% garbage yet!!

>>9150478
>female philosopher