/lit/ - Literature

>>15173084
Imagine having the window and not having a small desk in front of it where you write verse and drink coffee in the mornings.
> tv

>>15151063
No themes, just looking for the best.

>>8822900
My midnight ass fuck at the local church came to an end. The mothers flocked outside to discuss politics. Then they argued over whether pink or red lipstick was in. The dads started the cars. Me, the teen son of Jennifer Lopez, I dash around in my white robes to the back of the church where my friend Damien hands me a cigarette. 'I can’t believe you got Father off during the service, now I look like a prude. Father will kill me if I can't pull that off next weekend'. I pull a lighter from my jacket and hold it to a curtain. 'Don’t worry man, there’s not going to be a Father next weekend...' 'This coming from the one of us that isn't a virgin?'

>>8598574
Yeah!! This is DJ Professor K, baby, the master of mayhem you know what I'm sayin' bringing you another /lit/ underground critique broadcast from Pinecone! I'm gonna bust into your head through your cute lil' ears and blow ya mind with my sexy voice and out-of-sight critiques! Those of you prone to nosebleeds should keep those tissues handy, suckas!

Preposition Ratio: 7.51 % [ Dynamic! ]

Zombie Nouns: reduction, injection, oblivion, association, mannerism

Lexical Diversity: 36.81 %

Content Carrying Words: 64.14 %

Personal Vocab Diversity: 53.59 %

Longest Word: circumstances

Dialogue can be delightful if dramatically or comically stylized or artistically blended with descriptive prose; in other words, if it is a feature of style and structure in a given work. If not, then it is nothing but automatic typewriting, formless speeches filling page after page, over which the eye skims like a flying saucer over the Dust Bowl.

>>8480634
It's like you took advice from somewhere and jerked it expecting moloko or a hot load to come out but instead we have this DOA! 1st 9 words!

But ok let's shift gears you need to work on your writing don't give up. But Ima be honest wit u right now, it's bad & believe me I want to browse the shit in these threads and be wowed this is not wow.

>>7312140
Preposition Ratio: 12.9 % ← Good

Zombie Nouns: 'salvation', 'ability', 'terrorism'

Lexical Diversity: 48.13 %

Content Carrying Words: 62.69 %

Personal Vocab Diversity: 66.81 %

Longest Word: 'dangerously'

Why PTSD? Do ye have PTSD? Do ye know someone who has it? Where are the rage and pain and emptiness?

Ye are clearly an able architect. Yr sentences need work. Read them out loud. They get in their own way & ye have a story to tell.

>>7213920
I just wanna rub BEES all over yr MOMMY'S vagina!

Yr poem is, well, are ye a sailor? A boat captain? B/c th' poetic thoughts that have occur'd to me while crewing were not as affected and GAYYYaYYY as what ye have there.

Come on man. But if ye insist on improving this poem—fug'n DeWek Walcock w/th' ten ten—ackchually nvrmnd I can't help u wut is this even. Envision me as Calvin pushing away a dinner plate w/a lil leviathon monster on it. Except instead of something cool like that on the plate it's yr poem. Or whoever's poem it is.

>>6850984

Does this give your heart an erection that sprays come all over yr fingers typing away at yr laptop?

Does it make your brain pulse like the heart inside the bone cage of a pre-teen boy's chest when he first sets eyes on a pair of breasts, nipples exposed, that are not his own mother's?

You have talent, obviously—we did read it—but we must advise you to reach sinistrally into the black seagreen unconscious and grip the clear white id-creatures that glow and pulse with electricity and present it dextrally: that is, force that pounding corona through the clicking steel machinery of English grammar.

Bring us the heads of yr heroes.

The face of God was written by only about a dozen authors and we all have access to the complete works. Their words shoot chemically in humanity's minds signifying nothing and I think you can slip your words in their too.

>>6721115
Ayy, ya grammar is bent up. Yr words, they are borrowed and they don't fit in the 21st C. I don't care about yr protag, but I guess, what the hell do you care? Why do I care? Why am I even telling you this? Who am I? I used to be somebody. I loved people and they loved me. We even scratched backs back. I don't even recognize that image in the mirror. And I can't sleep with all the fucking nightmares. And the nightmares are just dreams of a happy past that will never come to pass again. So the blackness of sleep? It is no longer available. I fall through consciousness into a fucking fun-house world of love and pain. All I have left to do is gouge out my soul.