/lit/ - Literature

My gf loves me intensely, she has proven that much to me by continuously sacrificing, and she also loves poetry (although she complains Byron is pushed more than Tennyson because degenerates). She also likes me to write her love poetry and asks for it

>But when the night was half spent he bethought him that he had forgotten in his palace somewhat which he should have brought with him, so he re turned privily and entered his apartments, where he found the Queen, his wife, asleep on his own carpet bed, embracing with both arms a black cook of loathsome aspect and foul with kitchen grease and grime.

>So King Shah Zaman passed his night in the palace and, next morning, when his brother had fared forth, he removed from his room and sat him down at one of the lattice windows overlooking the pleasure grounds; and there he abode thinking with saddest thought over his wife's betrayal and burning sighs issued from his tortured breast. And as he continued in this case lo! a pastern of the palace, which was carefully kept private, swung open and out of it came twenty slave girls surrounding his bother's wife who was wondrous fair, a model of beauty and comeliness and symmetry and perfect loveliness and who paced with the grace of a gazelle which panteth for the cooling stream. Thereupon Shah Zaman drew back from the window, but he kept the bevy in sight espying them from a place whence he could not be espied. They walked under the very lattice and advanced a little way into the garden till they came to a jetting fountain amiddlemost a great basin of water; then they stripped off their clothes and behold, ten of them were women, concubines of the King, and the other ten were white slaves. Then they all paired off, each with each: but the Queen, who was left alone, presently cried out in a loud voice, "Here to me, O my lord Saeed!" and then sprang with a drop leap from one of the trees a big slobbering blackamoor with rolling eyes which showed the whites, a truly hideous sight. He walked boldly up to her and threw his arms round her neck while she embraced him as warmly; then he bussed her and winding his legs round hers, as a button loop clasps a button, he threw her and enjoyed her.

Why are Christians so half-ass about reading? Most Muslims have read the entire Koran before puberty (and when they first finish it, it is celebrated), but very few Christians ADULTS bother to read the Bible. And why is there no Christian jurisprudence? I know Paul said works of the law don't save, and the Council of Jerusalem nullifies many religious requirements, but it is clear God intended for laws and bothered to give them, a lot would certainly still be important to Christians, especially humane treatment of animals and periodic absolution of debts. Some will say Christianity abolishes punishment but that is wrong the whole purpose of rulers according to Paul is to punish wrongdoers on behalf of God

>It's another 19 year old having a "life in the monastery" phase

>>12620388
I'll report you for being a hook...ie

>>12616779
>ask a Jewish woman about how Jews feel about sex
>she says it's actually pretty interesting and arranges a get together to talk about it at length
>come over but we end up just having some drinks and making small talk

>friend is always complaining that she wants a bf even though she is too autistic to see guys hitting on her all the time
>on her birthday tell her she is attractive enough, her main concern should be how keep a relationship strong
>give her the kama sutra
>her eyes look like moons and she looks at me
>anon isn't this that book on sexual ecstasy?
>that's a misconception, it's about love in general, sex is a small part
>but it does tell you about sexual fulfillment?
>yes
>hmm, this was a very good gift, anon. here is a card, please write anything you want and I will give you it. Anything. Don't let me give you a no for an answer
>think a second
>wtite down Women and Men
>hand it to her
>mfw it's been a month and she still hasn't got me it

>>12607177
What you're doing is like women who sell premium snapshots. The only diference from you is their biggest asset, they whore their body, you whore your imagination.

Post yfw Hustler Magazine produced the greatest film adaption of Shakespeare

>returning books and chatting with librarian about Shakespeare
>she is excited and pretty fun, we chat every time I see her
>start walking outside
>woman who was behind me in line runs up behind me as I walk out and says oh excuse me, as you busy?
>say no
>well she says you seem to know an awful lot about Shakespeare
>shrug and say I am an amateur, not an academic
>you're being modest, I can tell you love Shakespeare
>who doesn't?
>of course! but maybe you would do something for me
>maybe
>I just checked out his sonnets, would you like to read some?
>thanks, I have actually read them and have them at home
>oh okay but would you be alright with reading them for me?
>why do you need me to read them?
>you know a lot, I want to know what Shakespeare sounded like
>alright, that's admirable
>could we go sit on the grass maybe?
>okay
>we sit
>she hands me the book and says whichever one I want
>start reading sonnet 1
>what are you doing?
>I am reading a sonnet
>yeah but why are talking funny?
>that, my dear, is how early modern English sounded
>no I mean your accent
>yes, that is what I refer to
>why are you talking like that?
>you said you wanted to know what Shakespeare sounded like
>oh well it's okay, you don't have to do that
>it is a bit neccessary
>why?
>because that was intended. Here in sonnet 1 for example, "die" and "memory" only rhyme in early modern English pronounciation
>ah neat. but just read it regular for me please
>any idiot can do that
>but I want you to
>why do you need me if you don't want it pronounced authentically?
>because
>well I can see you're not sure what you want
>I'm sorry
>ah, it's okay, just think next time

Women like to imagine the past or literary stuff, but often are uniterested the actual truth of things

>young Paki woman I know always telling me about Islam requires such and such modesty and chastity
>I'm not even a Muslim
>try to change subject by asking what books she likes
>she says the Koran and grins really big

Fiddy shades. I got it on loan because I urged to read it and see if I was "inspired". Dreck. Told her so too

>gf hates Hume and Adam Smith
>still proclaims her Scottish pride and wears kilts at dress events

Alright lads, what is some good Scottish lit?

>talk with gf about 1984
>she says it was wrong, fascism and Stalinism don't care what we really think, only liberalism does.
>she says liberalism is more totalitarian than either because it compells us to enjoy
>mfw she is far right

Are far right wingers the classic example of double think? "N-no, liberalism is the real totalitarianism! Authoritarianism is freedom!"