/lit/ - Literature

>>9264636
i did 2 for good measure. even a flinch?
>>9264655
definitely not bad. i do think you're relying on your imagination more than your prose. you have some interesting turns of phrase and your grammar is pretty strong, and i feel a voice come through at times, especially in the second piece, but it fades in and out. i'd like some more risk-taking and less reliance on sensuality
>>9264750
>Valmer was comfortably nestled into the pile of dead leaves, exhaustion clutching his depths and compelling him to resign altogether. He had spent his entire day gathering the pile and intended to spend his night enjoying it.
>Valmer, however, could not find peace. He lay, tugging the dark locks of his hair, casting a scowl toward the star-mottled sky. The stars only glowered back down at him. To Valmer, they were a reminder of both hunger and gluttony, of rags and daggers and endless exhaustion. For this desperate state that Palzian had left him in, there would be no hesitance to deliver his judgement. He knew he could not bring himself to resist his oppressor. The air, stone, grass, trees, even the people who stood between him and Palzian were hopelessly immaterial. He constrained his faith to his ability and to his malice.
>But there would be time for hardening in the morning. For now, the man required rest.
>>9265019
not poetry
>>9265112
not bad, feels a little artificial
>>9265149
holy shit did you really just not even read my post and respond with 400 words about self-publishing