/lit/ - Literature

>>13778714

It feels kinda cheap / kitschy but it’s appealing despite that.

>>13775969

It’s vivid and powerful without doubt, but feels weirdly derivative of its style. There’s the Melvillian quality that is pleasing but not necessarily fresh for what it’s trying to do.

>>13774858

A lot of the diction is archaic and should be avoided imo. “Amongst”, “lest”, I don’t think this helps the poem at all. I like “they talk and talk spreading hatred and platitude”, reminds me of Hemingway. I wish the poem had more of that quality than what felt more like underwhelming “dark” poetry. You need stronger, more unexpected imagery.
My poem is pic related.