/lit/ - Literature

I'm really starting to go fucking INSANE. My city has been in 65 days of lockdown and now I'm losing it. There are cunts I know who want us to remain locked down until we hit a 90% national double vaccination rate. A figure which is NEVER going to FUCKING HAPPEN. They say if we open up at 80% vaccinated, we will lose 25,000 lives. That's 0.01% of the entire country. ARE THEY FUCKING INSANE. WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY WANT TO HAPPEN. Have they gone literally insane? I'm going fucking insane I can't stay locked down for this much longer. The current lock down isn't even predicted to end until November and they want us to remain locked down for what would take another 6 fucking months. I WILL KILL MYSELF OR SOMEBODY ELSE BEFORE I DO THAT.

I want to beat up my best friend. I see him every day with his limp faggot wrists, his bad posture, his craned neck. When he eats he sounds like a horse, his lips are closed but the sound his spit makes is disgusting. I want to beat him to a pulp. I want to beat him bloody. I don't want him to die but I want him to be scared. I want him to know I hate him and I want him to know why. I won't do it though because I don't want to get in trouble.

I wish I could go back to seven or eight years ago when I was still discovering things. I miss coming across weird things on the internet and feeling a sense of wonder and curiosity. Nothing evokes that feeling in me anymore. Everything is the same and will be for the rest of my life. Even this pandemic, I feel like I should feel something bigger than I feel. All I feel is irritation from spending my whole day cloistered. I want to feel panic, I want to feel dread, I want to feel awe, I want to feel fear, I want to feel anything other than anger and irritation.