/lit/ - Literature

Sad Randy Newman
A Short Story
by ding

Randy Newman had always hated deprived Australia with its raw, robust red. It was a place where he felt shocked.

He was a sad, tactless, water drinker with moist mouth and wide abs. His friends saw him as a great, good god. Once, he had even revived a dying, aunt. That's the sort of man he was.

Randy walked over to the window and reflected on his dirty surroundings. The wind blew like singing buffalo.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Mandy Muse. Mandy was a splendid jew with skinny mouth and chubby abs.

Randy gulped. He was not prepared for Mandy.

As Randy stepped outside and Mandy came closer, he could see the grated smile on her face.

Mandy gazed with the affection of 6743 deranged raspy rabbits. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want revenge."

Randy looked back, even more unstable and still fingering the ribbed guillotine. "Mandy, oh hi," he replied.

They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two smelly, spotless skunk humping at a very thoughtful funeral, which had rag time music playing in the background and two considerate uncles chasing to the beat.

Randy regarded Mandy's skinny mouth and chubby abs. "I feel the same way!" revealed Randy with a delighted grin.

Mandy looked shocked, her emotions blushing like a sweet, stale sandwich.

Then Mandy came inside for a nice drink of water.
THE END