/lit/ - Literature

This is as much of a short story as I have so far. I hope to finish it by the 6th.
https://pastebin.com/jUx01WUm

>>15768300
You hit the comedy bit just fine. It's not my cup of tea unfortunately, but it was funny, and the fact that I got the humor and found it good when it wasn't something I'd exactly read means that you're probably hitting your nail on the head for your audience.
>>15770309
I actually love how this reads. I think you could stand to throw just a little more detail into everything that you say, but as of right now this reads very directly. Some might say it feels dry, but when I read enough purple stuff, this feels refreshing.
>>15771699
Second sentence of the king's diary was tiresome to read, maybe rearrange it. Otherwise, neat opening, I think it's charming enough to not need that firm grip like others have. Curious to see where this leads.