/lit/ - Literature

>Senior year of HS, had no idea where to go to college
>Find a flier for /lit/ University
>Why not?
>Get an acceptance letter almost immediately
>Best part is tuition is free, on the condition that you remain forever
>First day of classes and I'm feeling excited
>Take remedial philosophy classes from Shizo Anon
>Everyone in class applauds in amazement at his every lecture
>Meanwhile Im struggle to make coherent sense of any of it
>Oh well, I guess Philosophy is too hard. Better move on to something easier.
>Hit up Butterfly's Gender theory seminar
>Quickly realize why I'm the only one in her class (shes a crazy tranny)
>Drop after the first day
>Have insufficient credits and need to transfer to a new class ASAP
>Enroll in an first-year humanities seminar on the Meme Trilogy
>Teacher pulls a curve ball and demands our final paper be a 50 page dissertation of Finnegans Wake
>Use a random word generator and paste the results for 50 pages
>Hope the teacher passes me for artistic effort
>Get an F, and have to take summer classes to raise my GPA
>Take private tutoring from the Professor Emeritus Husserl scholar Anon
>Do well enough and am permitted to take a modern lit seminar
>First day the prof gives us a pop-quiz
>“We will be reading Joyce's letters to Nora. Any one who laughs will automatically fail.”
>“You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones-”
>Begin ROFLing
>“GET OUT! And never come back!”
>Walk the halls dejectedly
>Enter a random classroom and audit it
>Its a class on Rene Guenon
>The whole class is just Guenonfag arguing with the Prof
>Fuck this
>Go to the Uni Cafe and listen to LondonFrog mumble to himself about seeing another Stacy
>Try to talk to him but he just stuffs his face with KFC
>Get fed up and decide to try out Tao Lin's Creative Writing class.
>Of course its a night class
>It starts at 9pm but he is no where to be found
>Wait for 2 whole hours and he finally shows up.
>No apology or anything
>Immediately starts shilling his books for 3 hours straight
>mfw