/lit/ - Literature

>>15391991

>... degree of size that I and most, have never ...

Consider "... degree of size that I, and most,"

> ... that I cannot fathom to exist in the extravagant Americas.

This part of the sentence feels out of place somehow. Needs minimal tweeking.

The paragraph that starts with "I am due to turn forty soon" feels like it's missing a proper segway. I agree with the previous anon, that the introspection is a stark contrast and it comes on very sudden. Personally I really enjoy the description of the island and the octopodes, so maybe I'm bias.

Regarding the flow, I think it's very sensible. The only spot where I react is in the shift between the two paragraphs mentioned above.

I wouldn't mind seeing a larger elaboration on his loathing of otcopus, I think it could fit in the paragraph before "I am due".

Keep up the fine work, I'm listening to a shitload of Lovecraft right now and this is just up that alley. Your flow from sentence to sentence is performed really well, it's a treat to read.