/lit/ - Literature

Help /lit/!

I have this tendency that I just observed, and I feel that my life would be much more peaceful without it.

Generally, I feel that I crave the approval of other people, be it my ex-girlfriend, people I appreciate or society as a whole.

I often imagine myself saying something impressive to a crowd of people or otherwise displaying (what I perceive as) my intelligence.

It is gotten to a point where I actually substitute reading with it, because half-way through a new concept I will stop and indulge in this intricate fantasy of me elaborating on this idea (that I didn't even bother researching on fully yet) to a bunch of impressed persons.

At first I thought these fantasies were good in that they made me introspect but now I realize that I barely gain any actual knowledge through them.

For the most part they are a vain, narcissitic, instantaneous kind of pleasure, I feel I would be a happier person without them.

Anyone know about any method that can help me, become less of a narcissist I suppose, or simply stop craving approval?

I think something akin to mediating and calmly shutting out these fantasies seems to kind of be working.

There have to be other narcissistic e/lit/ists here?