/lit/ - Literature

You people are fucking shallow. A cover and blurb throw you for a loop because it's not James Joyce.

Carlton Mellick III is one of the most cringeworthy authors of this century. He's worse than a lot of fanfiction authors I read. I've read through about half of his library of work and he just gets worse every time.

Quicksand House is fucking retarded. It's just fedoracore, lolsorandumXD humor and edgy violence. It starts out with foreveralone feels bullshit then segues awkwardly with ludicrous speed into weak horror. It's one of those books where the funniest parts are the bits you're supposed to be scared of.

Cuddly Holocaust was worse. The point when the Carebears were chewing human flesh and the green army men were murdering people, it can hardly get more randumXD.

Satan Burger is shite.

Hammer Wives is a pathetic Poe/Lovecraft knock-off. Just awful.

Warrior Women of the Wasteland is pretty much a feminazi fallout 3

Cannibals of Candyland is weak and unfunny.

Apeshit / Clusterfuck are a tired old rehashing of cheesy slasher horror movies that goes off the map and again substitutes stupid randomness for humor. Intestines as weapons, that's all I can say.

And Baby Jesus Butt Plug is just another laughable attempt to be shocking.

Bizarro is: Franz Kafka meets John Waters, Dr. Suess of the post-apocalypse, Takashi Miike meets William S. Burroughs, Alice in Wonderland for adults, Japanese animation directed by David Lynch.

You don't read Bizarro because you're after Pride and Prejudice or Great Expectations. It's for those people who watch House of 1000 Corpses, Machete, Cabin in the Woods, Meet the Feebles, Southland Tales, Tetsuo The Ironman, and Holy Mountain all merged together and written into words. It's cheap, dirty, fun. Gores, violence, horribly disturbing sex, blasphemy, and pop culture satire.

And yet he reads like a fanfic author. He's an amatuer. I'm just surprised he never mentions sporks.

Here's a complete list of everything: Carlton Mellick III http://carltonmellick.com/books/

Is Carlton Mellick III any good as an author?
I've seen his name a few times on /lit/ and it piqued my curiosity
are the books really worth it or is it edgy shit for hipster teens? I'd like to buy "Hammer Wives" but I don't feel like wasting money on crap