/lit/ - Literature

How do you write without being pretentious?

if I could get an honest critique i'd be delighted

the place with the dog that could not
stop barking and barking was hungry
it was a pool in the night time sucking
inwards and outwards the stars
and the black surrounding them
and through the place came the wind
carrying with it a negation
of the now bent sky of what it would be like
if the dog was no dog but
a negation of the breath it
knew itself to be
and the dream was wind
that rattled the place
and made the dog go mad with cold and fright
that made it bark into the pool
into the now bent sky
into the colour before dawn